Vatican: New Shroud of Turin Best Yet

Vatican: New Shroud of Turin Best Yet

09 October 2009 09:16 - by BobZaguy

ROME, ITALY — The Vatican Museum today announced in a press release that the latest reproduction of the Shroud of Turin is of such great artistic quality that the Museum is immediately adopting it as the “new, God’s only recognized Shroud of Turin” and that it “replaces the first original shroud which dated somewhere in […]

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Posted in Religionism5 Comments

David Letterman Accepts Sex Revelations Humility, Ratings Boon

David Letterman Accepts Sex Revelations Humility, Ratings Boon

09 October 2009 06:49 - by

David Letterman has been preaching a daily tell-all on his nightly TV shows, almost boasting about his sexual exploits with his staff. His ratings have gone through the roof and other late night TV hosts are now paying attention to this gimmick, which has leapt him ahead in the cut-throat TV ratings game.

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Posted in Television0 Comments

IAEA Chief: Israel the Real Rogue Nuclear State

IAEA Chief: Israel the Real Rogue Nuclear State

08 October 2009 12:36 - by Rusty

The top nuclear inspector at the UN told reporters from the Warmongers Gazette he does not believe that Iran is a threat to Middle Eastern peace and stability but conversely claims that Israel is the number one menace due its expansionist policies and covert nuclear weapons arsenal.

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Posted in Top Stories, War Zone, World News2 Comments

Top Ten Random Thoughts by Dave on Recent Sex Scandal

Top Ten Random Thoughts by Dave on Recent Sex Scandal

08 October 2009 05:16 - by BobZaguy

10. Work with me, sleep with me – comedy rules. 9. Scandal schmandal, it’s fun to flirt. 8. Robert J. “Joe” Halderman, one more GOP Joe wanting my pants. 7. Thought I could show Obama how to handle his nemesii Beck’n’Baugh.

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Talky Pictures1 Comment

Marks & Spencer Clerks to Spot Suicidal Shoppers

Marks & Spencer Clerks to Spot Suicidal Shoppers

08 October 2009 02:12 - by Rusty

Under the latest EU legislation to impose a Big Bully federal state, the UK’s Ministry for Daft Ideas has ordained that the likes of hairdressers and taxi drivers are to be trained to help spot vulnerable people who might be contemplating taking their own lives. The entire ranks of Jobcentre Plus workers and Mamon and […]

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Posted in Health, Society0 Comments

Miliband the Millipede Promises Green Jobs For All

Miliband the Millipede Promises Green Jobs For All

07 October 2009 08:47 - by Rusty

One of Britain’s biggest employers in the green energy industry is to cease production within hours of a paradoxical government announcement today pledging as many as 400,000 green jobs by 2015.

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Posted in Environment, Technology0 Comments

Egypt to Ban Lab-Fabricated Hymens

Egypt to Ban Lab-Fabricated Hymens

07 October 2009 03:00 - by Rusty

A leading Egyptian Islamic scholar has demanded (based on his own barbaric vigilante authority) that people caught importing a female virginity-faking device into the basket case country should be arrested by the Mutaween religious police, summarily tried under Sharia law and face the death penalty if convicted.

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos4 Comments

Frivolous Academic ‘Cheese Butty’ Research Hit

Frivolous Academic ‘Cheese Butty’ Research Hit

07 October 2009 01:19 - by Rusty

The New Labour government’s Ministry for Wasting Time & Money has come under attack from the Tories – yet again – for commissioning academic research into such insane project studies as how to make the perfect cheese toastie sandwich – and – is sword-swallowing actually dangerous? – does torture really hurt to the point of […]

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Posted in Technology0 Comments

Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland

Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland

06 October 2009 01:25 - by Rusty

A radical anarchist campaign group dead set against Donald Trump’s £1 zillion golf resort project at Menie in the coastal province of McTwatshire has dressed up statues around Scotland parodying the avaricious American tycoon. The Menie Liberation Front group said the joke Trump masks, derogatory signs and golf clubs had been added to about 200 […]

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Posted in Biz News, Top Stories1 Comment

PM Gordon Brown Runs Amok – Millions Feared Dead

PM Gordon Brown Runs Amok – Millions Feared Dead

06 October 2009 05:23 - by Rusty

A most beleaguered Gordon ‘Culpability’ Brown returned to the airwaves today following his previous evening’s TV interview disaster as he tried to end the annual New Labour party conference with at least some portion of the voting public and traditional supporters, sponsors and donors etc still believing he and his cabinet have at least half […]

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Posted in World News0 Comments

FOX News Agrees to Add Satire Disclaimer

FOX News Agrees to Add Satire Disclaimer

06 October 2009 05:09 - by Brian K. White

In a stunning turnaround, the allegedly “Fair & Balanced” cable news channel run by Rupert Murdoch may soon willingly add a satire disclaimer to their site, stating that all news is fabricated and meant only for humorous effect. The programming and editorial slant is not expected to change as a result, but it is hoped […]

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc2 Comments

Library Scissors: Weapons of Mass Distraction?

Library Scissors: Weapons of Mass Distraction?

06 October 2009 01:23 - by Rusty

Greater London’s Scumdale Hamlets council has apologised after a student was refused the loan of a pair of scissors in a library because she ‘might stab a member of staff’. Rita McScrunt, a 15-year old mother of three, had her request to borrow a pair of paper scissors from the librarian’s desk turned down at […]

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Posted in Society, Strange People0 Comments

EU Big Brother to Microchip All UK Pets

EU Big Brother to Microchip All UK Pets

05 October 2009 11:25 - by Rusty

Now even dogs and cats – and likewise all British household pets – from the cuddly furry to the feathery plumaged to piscine and reptilian scaly – cannot escape the clutches of the Orwellian surveillance state. Under EU plans being implemented by the totally paranoid New Labour administration all UK pets will have to be […]

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Posted in Human Interest, Society, Technology0 Comments

Woman Labeled ‘Too Dumb’ to Marry, Though Technically Doable

Woman Labeled ‘Too Dumb’ to Marry, Though Technically Doable

05 October 2009 06:15 - by Rusty

UK social workers following the latest batch of the EU’s totalitarian Communist Federation regulations being imposed on this once-sceptered isle have banned a young woman from her own wedding in a ridiculous broughaha over whether she is bright enough to get married.

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Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

Kid’s Cold Hits Head Like Like Hammer of Snot

Kid’s Cold Hits Head Like Like Hammer of Snot

05 October 2009 06:05 - by Dominic Benjamin

If ever I had reason to complain about something, this would probably be it. I mean, I would complain about it, if only I could, but I just can’t. I’m much too under the weather to protest. Still, I have some advice I can share by not sharing while I protest by not being actually […]

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Indian Space Probe Finds Water on Moon

Indian Space Probe Finds Water on Moon

05 October 2009 05:00 - by Rusty

A surprising amount of water has been found to exist on the Moon’s surface, especially so in the craters which have been discovered to contain muddy puddles just waiting to be drained and the liquid purified for drinking. Data from India’s Vindaloo 1 space probe – which recently landed on the Moon for urgent repairs […]

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Posted in Science & Technologizzy, Technology0 Comments



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