Remember All that Voter Fraud? The Real Numbers Surprised Us

Remember All that Voter Fraud? The Real Numbers Surprised Us

20 October 2014 05:35 - by Brian K. White

It is easy to grab headlines with a lurid claim –“TENS OF THOUSANDS MAY BE VOTING ILLEGALLY!”– but the follow-up, when any exists – is not usually deemed newsworthy. – From “The Truth About Voter Fraud” by the Brennan Center for Justice. This is an attempt by guest writer Flantabulous to compile all ‘those non-newsworthy […]

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Marathon Winner Interrogated over Questions about his “Bread & Butter”

Marathon Winner Interrogated over Questions about his “Bread & Butter”

20 October 2014 02:57 - by FreeMann

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Officials overseeing the 31st Annual Bread N’ Basket Marathon held in downtown Philadelphia had several routine questions for this year’s winner, Breddie Murphy, after the 24-year-old won the race in a record time of 3 baskets and 7 sticks or 1 hour and 23 minutes, beating the previous record set by David […]

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Posted in Sports, Sports Events0 Comments

“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Obama’s “lame” Supreme Court ploy?

“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Obama’s “lame” Supreme Court ploy?

19 October 2014 02:47 - by Chuck Rivetto

Announcer: As we’re all aware, a president’s appointment of a Supreme Court judge is subject to the approval of the Senate. If the Republicans gain control of the Senate in November, and, if, as a result, Justice Ginsburg decides to retire, that would give President Obama one last chance to appoint a Supreme Court judge […]

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God Finds Message from All Humanity in Cucumber, Fanatics Outraged

God Finds Message from All Humanity in Cucumber, Fanatics Outraged

18 October 2014 02:47 - by Mr TM

It’s often asserted that messages from God can appear in mysterious places… You know, the Madonna popping up in cheese sandwiches, Lady Gaga helping us see the light, Bible/Quran/Dianetics texts being found in the veins of tomatoes… Although admittedly, the more fastidious believers tend to have violently assertive theological disagreements™ about which God is sending […]

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

Busy Tech Execs Boost Productivity, Put Children On Ice

Busy Tech Execs Boost Productivity, Put Children On Ice

17 October 2014 05:57 - by esinclaire

When LaShonda Martinez’s boss first offered to freeze her three-year-old son, the programmer was aghast. “I was all like, you want to do what? But then, once they explained themselves, I was all like, yeah, maybe.” In light of recent benefits offered by tech giants Google and Facebook to freeze employees embryos, Washington-based Microsoft revealed […]

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Posted in Biz News, Health0 Comments

Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree on Something… Unfortunately

Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree on Something… Unfortunately

17 October 2014 03:50 - by rfreed

The UN Council, sick of the never ending strife in Israel between the Jews and the Arabs, came up with a novel idea for mediating a lasting truce. They employed Buddhists to act as peacekeepers. The Buddhist faith, probably among the most peaceful of any of the earthly religions, emphasizes tolerance, good will and understanding […]

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Rep/Dem Hawks Approve “Moderate Islamist” Manifesto

Rep/Dem Hawks Approve “Moderate Islamist” Manifesto

16 October 2014 03:08 - by Mr TM

Frustrated by what they perceive to be the dogmatism both of liberal or secular Muslims on the one hand, and hardcore political Islamists on the other, various factions of moderate political Islamism™ have released a joint solidarity statement. The statement has met with widespread acclaim among UK Trotskyites, as well as moderate political Islamists themselves,.. […]

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

Self-Driving Electric Cars will Soon Be Free, If You Can Afford One

Self-Driving Electric Cars will Soon Be Free, If You Can Afford One

15 October 2014 05:31 - by Brian K. White

When I add “self-driving” to “electric car”, you may envision a double-unicorn, but these beasts of legend are right around the corner, and they will be damn near free, assuming you can afford one. Elon Musk has announced that “The Tesla car next year will probably be 90 percent capable of autopilot.” Cadillac will have […]

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Posted in Technology0 Comments

“Patronising Liberal Pastor” Calls Jesus “Inspiring”

“Patronising Liberal Pastor” Calls Jesus “Inspiring”

15 October 2014 02:45 - by Mr TM

Last time, I reminded you how much a certain kind of patronising crap about “inspirational” underdogs and under-non-dogs is now big business. Well, now it’s even infected kinda-normal-and-sensible-within-reason religious circles™. That’s right; worshipers at a somewhat moderate/mainline Church™ in Colorado Springs (no, not Brother Ted’s church, we’re talking one with an monthly income that is […]

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

Ruse of Young Border Crossers Successful for Drug Cartels

Ruse of Young Border Crossers Successful for Drug Cartels

14 October 2014 02:45 - by rfreed

Suspicions have arisen lately that the recent spate of Latin children coming across the southern U.S. border were no spontaneous occurrence. Darker implications have revealed themselves. “The operation was a total success!” states Juan Cokefetcher, middle manager for the Headchoppers Cartel of Chihuahua. “Those stupid gringos never did figure out what it was all about; […]

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Posted in Crime, Human Interest0 Comments

ISIS: The Autistic Brother of Al-Qaeda

ISIS: The Autistic Brother of Al-Qaeda

13 October 2014 02:20 - by JihadTimes

ISIS: The world’s number one autistic brainchild, the same one which refused to continue living with his older brother, Al-Qaeda, is now in some deep trouble with the United States and Russia. After beheading a journalist in the lands of SandVillage, their only option for attention was death. Geez, talk about needy. To make things […]

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

“Autistic Savants Inspiring,” Says Cable TV Diversity Pimp

“Autistic Savants Inspiring,” Says Cable TV Diversity Pimp

12 October 2014 02:42 - by Mr TM

Surprisingly, it just so happens that crappy low-budget cable shows have given in to the perpetual “progressive pressure” that is self-indulgently and self-promotingly applied by a certain variety of limousine-liberal, ivory-tower benefactor known as a “diversity expert.” Yes: the PC cause du jour of Big Disability, to wit, giving autistic/Asperger’s people “more representation” in the […]

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Posted in Television0 Comments

Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World

Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World

11 October 2014 02:42 - by rfreed

There used to be a sanctuary to which you could retire for that most blessed and peaceful of soul satisfying balms- silence. This sanctuary was known as a ‘library’ and throughout the world they could be considered a trustworthy and guarded haven for this treasure of peace whether it be in Bangladesh or the heart […]

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Posted in Education, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Pittsburgh: 3 So. Oakland Buildings Improved In Atwood Street Fire

Pittsburgh: 3 So. Oakland Buildings Improved In Atwood Street Fire

10 October 2014 03:37 - by Reidicule

PITTSBURGH — The Pittsburgh Fire Department was called late last night to a three-alarm blaze on Atwood Street that, according to onlookers, “greatly improved at least three of the buildings.” While the South Oakland inferno itself enveloped a swath containing only those three buildings, reports indicate that several adjacent structures also received partial upgrades from […]

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Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

“Yucky World” w/ Dick and Janey: Pro-choice advocates changing tactics!

“Yucky World” w/ Dick and Janey: Pro-choice advocates changing tactics!

09 October 2014 02:37 - by Chuck Rivetto

Announcer: “National Review”, in its August 25th edition, noted that abortion rights supporters “are abandoning the label ‘pro-choice’.” However, NR goes on to note, a “sure substitute for ‘pro-choice’ has yet to emerge…” (p.10) Georgia Ohwell, a pro-abortion activist, has a strategy based on a terminology change to revolutionize the dynamics of the abortion debate. […]

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Redskins Rebranded

Redskins Rebranded

08 October 2014 10:53 - by crAsHdot

To settle the festering controversy over the name of the Washington, D. C. football team – the Redskins – the team announced today that they are changing their logo to a red skinned potato. This allows the team to continue calling itself the Redskins, while only needing to alter their branding. Team owner Dan Snyder, […]

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Posted in Sports, Sports Scandals19 Comments

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