Bad Keming: Than K Yo u Th Ank You

Bad Keming: Than K Yo u Th Ank You

30 April 2017 07:01 - by Brian K. White

Howdy Interweb folks! I’m Bobby Joe, and this here editorial makin’ kinda guy is know to our all ‘n’ sundries as the Brian K. White. K is also what you git in the kerning. Now how do kerning be defined? Glossy News Bossmaster Brian K. White just done gone tell us, on the Youtube: Kerning […]

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Society, Video News0 Comments

Glossy News Classics XI: NickFun’s “North Korean Crimes Against Humanity Almost as Bad as US”

Glossy News Classics XI: NickFun’s “North Korean Crimes Against Humanity Almost as Bad as US”

30 April 2017 07:00 - by Glossy News Classics

The United Nations declared today that atrocities committed by North Korea Security chiefs and possibly even president Kim Jong-un are so horrendous they could be compared to how the US treats prisoners at Guantanamo, Abu Graib and other ‘secret’ prisons around the world. “This kind of behavior does not belong in a civilized society!” declared […]

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Posted in Human Interest, World News0 Comments

Canadians Obsessed with American Politics, seek to Vote as Honourary Americans

Canadians Obsessed with American Politics, seek to Vote as Honourary Americans

29 April 2017 08:15 - by Benjamin Cain

Thousands of Canadians are lobbying the United States government to allow them to vote as honourary Americans in US elections, despite their lacking US citizenship, because they know more about the United States than Canada.

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Racist Critics of North Korea & Saudi Arabia Should Check their Privilege

Racist Critics of North Korea & Saudi Arabia Should Check their Privilege

29 April 2017 06:56 - by One Tongue Johnny

The Myanmar Buddho-Marxist Junta, Jabhat-al-Nusra, North Korean Gulags, Saudi Dictatorship… These are all kind of problematic, but shouldn’t we be focusing on REAL PROBLEMS, like campus cafeterias plundering Indian culinary traditions, or men having inappropriate postures on the Tube…. Before we sanctimoniously moralize about things in other countries that are none of my business? Who […]

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Posted in Top Stories0 Comments

Glossy News Classics X: Dexter Sinistri’s “Kim Jong Un Can Fix North Korea, And Here’s How”

Glossy News Classics X: Dexter Sinistri’s “Kim Jong Un Can Fix North Korea, And Here’s How”

29 April 2017 06:10 - by Glossy News Classics

Since the death of his father, Kim Jong Il, Kim the third has struggled to establish what kind of leader he is. If he’s smart, or even just sagely selfish, he’ll open the country and become the richest man on the planet. The black market is growing there and it threatens to overtake the legitimate, […]

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Posted in Serious Commentary, Top Stories0 Comments

Two More Glossy News Classics: North Korea Time!

Two More Glossy News Classics: North Korea Time!

29 April 2017 06:08 - by Glossy News Classics

Yesterday, you saw One Tongue Johnny’s sarcastic account of Saudi Arabia and North Korea. Today and tomorrow, two Glossy News Classics from our back catalogue continue this rather pertinent theme. UPDATE: Actually, the former story has yet to appear. Just to keep you on your toes! 😉 I blame Russia… First, a fairly serious article […]

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Posted in Top Stories0 Comments

Pollsters Predict Catastrophic UK General Election Defeat For Conservatives

Pollsters Predict Catastrophic UK General Election Defeat For Conservatives

28 April 2017 05:03 - by Swan Morrison

UK polling organisations have today published their predictions for the June 8th UK General Election. They forecast unanimously that the Conservatives will suffer a crushing defeat, losing their majority in parliament. The pollsters have further predicted that the UK will be governed by a coalition of the Labour Party, the Liberal Democrats, the Scottish National […]

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

Trial By Fire… I Survived 13 Bouts With Cancer

Trial By Fire… I Survived 13 Bouts With Cancer

28 April 2017 05:02 - by Andrew Kuzyk

So, I now reside in the small town of McDonough, just a few miles south of Atlanta in Georgia. I am a proud grandfather of four. I live with my grandchildren and five chihuahua rescues who have space to roam and frolic. All perfectly idyllic; well wait, not exactly. It was 1968, I had just […]

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Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

7 Ways to Make College Work Again

7 Ways to Make College Work Again

27 April 2017 05:02 - by Brian K. White

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Those with sharp eyes will notice Brian didn’t say ‘Make College Great Again,’ but ‘Make College Work Again.’ Just thought I’d point that out, because everyone is accused of being pro-Trump or pro-Hillary, or even a Bernie Bro, on the most utterly arbitrary of pretexts… *** BRIAN’S DESCRIPTION:

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Posted in Education, Internets Tubes0 Comments

United Airlines Brings Back Its Friendly Skies

United Airlines Brings Back Its Friendly Skies

26 April 2017 05:02 - by Tim Jones

Lately, United Airlines’ longstanding motto, Fly the Friendly Skies, has taken a serious tumble. On a recent flight four passengers were told they had to disembark to make room for airline personnel. One of the chosen was a doctor who refused to give up his seat, using a lame excuse that he had an ethical […]

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Posted in Human Interest, Making Headlines, Top Stories1 Comment

The Poetry Of Sarah Palin

The Poetry Of Sarah Palin

26 April 2017 05:01 - by rfreed

I SHOT AN ARROW I shot an arrow Into the air It came down And pegged a hare. My rifle I shot so straight and true And brought me down a caribou. Moose when they see my trail they quake Ptarmigan their feathers shake. Full grown bears will turn and run When they see my […]

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

SJWs Embrace Diversity with their Customary Consistency

SJWs Embrace Diversity with their Customary Consistency

25 April 2017 08:46 - by One Tongue Johnny

SJWs BE LIKE Diversity is not up for debate! ALL MEANS ALL! I’m 100% in favour of diversity, no exceptions! …

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Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

Poetry About, and Poetry By

Poetry About, and Poetry By

25 April 2017 05:01 - by Editorials and Announcements

Tomorrow, we’ve got a great treat for you! Stalwart Glossy News contributor rfreed has some Sarah Palin poems. Have you ever thought about writing in the persona of someone else? For satire, it’s one thing to write poems about someone. But you can also write humorously in someone else’s (entirely fictionalized voice). There are so […]

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

Exclusive Tour Inside a B-17 Bomber

Exclusive Tour Inside a B-17 Bomber

24 April 2017 06:06 - by Brian K. White

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Those interested in military history will find this fascinating. Not many people reading will have found themselves behind the controls of a B-17 bomber. Perhaps a few have. Do you have any memories? Was it a museum piece like this, or for real? Feel free to comment below!

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone0 Comments

Madonna & Lady Gaga’s New Cult is Too Much, Even for Progressives

Madonna & Lady Gaga’s New Cult is Too Much, Even for Progressives

23 April 2017 05:01 - by Wallace Runnymede

Madonna and Lady Gaga, frustrated at Pope Francis’ apparent failure to make headway against conservative cardinals, have decided to form their own Church, in order to restore the true authentic meaning of Catholicism. The One True Catholic Church of the All Holy Spirit of Our Universal Cosmic Mother, or OTCCOTAHSOOUCM for short, is not a […]

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music, Religionism, Top Stories0 Comments

From Blair Effect to Cameron? How Long Before Dave Starts Making Helpful Public ‘Interventions?’

From Blair Effect to Cameron? How Long Before Dave Starts Making Helpful Public ‘Interventions?’

22 April 2017 05:00 - by Wallace Runnymede

One of the most hilarious things on Twitter is the apparently non-satirical interventions Tony Blair makes in public life. But it turns out brave Dave hasn’t exactly retired to have a wank in his yacht either!

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Posted in Internets Tubes, World News0 Comments

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