Glossy News Satire

CHAPTER 1: LET FREEDOM BLAZE! Senator Willow twitched nervously as she faced the camera. ‘Where is Otis?’ she wondered. ‘Thank God that tricksy guy isn’t here tonight.’ Thunder flickered in the distance. The storm was over. Or so she hoped….

Writing and editing blogs may seem easy, but with the best will in the world, things can still go wrong. Here are a few things to remember, especially if you’re less skilled and experienced. If you found even one of…

I hope some of you enjoyed my bizarre and quirky compilation, Chinese Box: to appear on Amazon some time in 2020! For the next three days, we’re going to have a loooooong read: Volumes 1 to 3 of Honest Adolph,…

Technology is changing the way we live, learn and seek entertainment. With the advancement in technology, you can monitor your premises from anywhere with the help of Bristol CCTV installations. Technology has also changed the sports industry. Keep reading to…

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi may have achieved notoriety for his leadership of the Islamic State, however his friends and family knew him as a man of many hobbies and interests. Aside from enjoying a brief flirtation with campanology, the now-deceased chief…

A new, terrifying species of vampire has been discovered that has begun a feeding frenzy throughout the world. The horrifying part is that it haunts the least likely of places – your local bank! This vampire is a new one…

I have devised a psychoanalytical model than can link childhood experience, personality and political views together. Two axes: mother/father, kill/nurture. Read on to find out more! Which one are you, and how many people can you name who belong to…

Fiscally responsible coke-ridden cockwomble Boris Johnson has furiously denounced Jeremy Corbyn’s ‘grossly opportunistic and uncompassionate’ calls for a zero-tolerance approach to white supremacist terrorism. So much for the compassionate left! Everybody in society deserves a second chance. The stigma of…

ED: Welcome to Linda Boroff! She’s also written in McSweeney’s, Gawker, The Guardian and many other publications. The Annual Death of Frosty the Snowman Watching Frosty, that merry soul, waste away under the sun’s relentless onslaught was one of winter’s…

After decades of bad PR from a number of the most disreputable celebrities on Earth, America’s best-loved soft drinks company is finally getting rid of their universally beloved mascot. There is one drink, and one drink only, that offers a…

A bean bag is a cloth bag that is filled with polystyrene or thermocol beans or even air in which case it’s an inflatable bean bag and is used as a seat. They come in different sizes and the outside…

When it comes to online gaming, so namely casino bonuses are those temptations that keep players interested and bring them back to their favorite site again and again. So where you can find these exclusive casino bonus offers? How much…

President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump participated in the annual turkey pardon on Tuesday afternoon in the White House Rose Garden. Justice was served alongside stuffing and cranberry sauce, as Trump made his official decision. For the second…

Let’s say you are getting ready to graduate from business school and you are eager to bring your own contribution to the world of business. Or you are interested in changing your current job for a number of reasons. Whatever…

ISIS 2.0, better than you’ve ever tasted before, recently got a boost from some prominent pre-millennial evangelical apocalypse watchers. But despite these ringing endorsements from America’s top theological enterpreneurs, the self-proclaimed Union of Jihadist Soviet Republics has now faced its…

Yes, you got it! Several states now allow bus drivers to legally marry couples! Ideally, the couple are passengers on the bus. However, the laws do make exceptions. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts!3 Bangin’ New Videos:…

You can follow @NickVrchoticky here on Twitter. Incels, short for “involuntary celibates”, are a self-proclaimed minority, formerly known as ‘Nice Guys,’ and their species is having a crisis. No matter how hard they work, how hard they whine, or how…

Digital platforms and technologies are transforming almost every business. Innovative technologies now allow you to play casino games in online casinos, such as fortunejackpots.com. Designing a room has been in effect since the prehistoric cultural age. Since then, it has…

Over the past six months, Facebook has removed over 3.2 billion fake accounts, following the 3 billion it removed in the six months before that. Today, they’ll be closing their doors for good because, as Suckerburger or Zuchiniburg (or whatever)…

Finnegan Died (On the occasion of the closing of Thee Coffee House, San Angelo, Texas, and the assemblage of its nostalgic friends, many of whom hadn’t been around for months. November 28, 1970). Finnegan died, as people do every once…

ED: Guess who’s back… again! Did you enjoy the first instalment? Here’s Richard Selzer with some more! 51 Trump has single-handedly taken us from the Bronze Age to the Age of Irony. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related…

Kyrie Irving endeared himself to the Brooklyn Nets’ fans in his bow at the Barclays Center with an emotional speech. The point guard completed a move to the franchise in the off-season after two underwhelming years with the Boston Celtics….

The recent death of the ISIS caliph has shaken the world! Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is likely to remembered for a long time as a flamboyant and highly controversial figure who is widely known for his alternative music (grand) wizardry and…

When results came in from the polls this month, the United States had its first case of bipartisan joint custody for a political office, as a way of finally settling a domestic dispute between both of Kentucky’s state governors. And…

As Spaffer Johnson continue to reel and giddy-up in his inimitably flamboyant manner, I still wonder sometimes if May was set up. Hard to prove it either way. Still, it’s almost as if the boy’s club might have come to…

WELCOME TO OUR OCCASIONAL SERIES, DEVIL’S ADVOCATE! CONTROVERSIAL AND UNUSUAL PIECES TO BE FOUND HERE. IT’S AN OPEN TALKING SHOP, FEEL FREE TO CONTRIBUTE ANY OF YOUR OWN VIEWS TO THIS SERIES! Devil’s advocate time, for want of a better…

During his tenure as President of the United States, Donald Trump has repeatedly demonstrated a tendency toward outrageous and mercurial behavior. He took office vowing to build the now infamous Wall that Mexico would surely pay for. He expressed awe…

A SNARKY MESSAGE TO ALL YOU RACE-OBSESSED WHITE SUPREMACIST NUTBALLS AND SNOWFLAKES OUT THERE😉 All these utterly unhinged white supremacists are spreading hysteria about the supposed threat of a ‘great replacement’ aka ‘white genocide.’ Well, they are being very silly!…

DANGER! MONEY! SEX! US Government Agency Has Immediate Need For An ISIS INFORMANT! No Experience Necessary! Will Train! Qualifications: Rudimentary knowledge of Islam. Former prison snitches highly desirable. Must have survived numerous attempts on life. Can endure countless hours of…

THE ROOT OF OUR SELF-ESTEEM CRISIS TODAY ❤️🙂 Here’s one very valuable lesson I’ve had the privilege to learn and to work through: the reason people find it impossible to love themselves nowadays is because they are not taught to love…

“Money makes the world go around” is a very common saying. And to certain extent it is true. Just like how they say that money can’t buy you happiness. This is true, but we have to admit that most of…

Crazy cat bachelor and flamboyant Glastonbury fashionista Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has ended with a little spot of bother after splitting hell wide open in Episode II of ‘Quite Possibly Purely FAKE and Imaginary American Terrorist Assassinations.’ GUESS WHAT HAPPENED…

After Stormzy’s epic ‘fuck Boris’ musical chairs rant, and a rather ineffective response by the Great Man of History himself, the Master of the Universe is finally back on fine form! Over the course of his world propaganda tour of…

Washington, DC-  On Saturday, White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham announced that President Donald Trump has hired former Special Counsel Ken Starr to lead the administrations efforts against a Democrat led House Impeachment Inquiry. This news comes fresh off the…

MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell on a recent episode of his program the Last Word, dismissed the President’s veiled reiterated threat of the military, police and Bikers for Trump rising up in force to support him in the event of his removal…

Due to the success of our hugely popular ‘Gourmet Zombie Guide To Fine Dining In America’ we are coming out with our International Guide for those zombies with enough money or societal pull to be able to get through TSA…

These days, people spend a lot of time and money on video games, cinema, music concerts, social networks and amusement parks. With the advancement in technologies, the entertainment sector has seen an increase in Virtual Reality based entertainment. Incorporation of…

Feature image source: Pixabay It has been a dark time across the world in recent weeks, with some of our biggest global leaders facing a stormy, bleak and tumultuous period. However, that’s enough about the bad weather, as our ‘top…

I would like to thank Sad Press for letting me previously publish Moses À Outrance and Birl Forever or Burn Forever in ‘Centrifugue.’ Some of the other material here can be found in my Patreon or on Glossy News. However,…

Speak for Those Who Judge You Feel Presumption (The Mountain Clown) All this being said, we’ve had enough of these secondary sources, and second-hand opinions. Now we will let him speak for himself. Face value: Now I know what manner…