“Everyone should get back to work and stop thinking critically,” say Residents Fighting Against Town Name Change
The world is actively trying to purge systemic racism from every nook and cranny of our lives and institutions. Statues of racists are tumbling down across the world, and now, even racist town names are being changed in a move…
Make America Gag Again
Atlanta (AP) Just when the Trump Administration thought things could not get any worse, the Center for Disease Control released a report on the dramatic increase of Non-Covid19, related Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome (CVS20), that has ravaged sixty-five percent of the country…
A Majority of Americans Would Rather Repeatedly Shove Flaming Chopsticks in Their Ears than Hear the Words “President Howie”
HAMDEN, CT— Quinnipiac University released a poll early this morning showing that over 80% of Americans wouldn’t be comfortable with a President named Howie. The study, conducted in the wake of Howie Hawkins’ nomination as the Green Party’s candidate for…
Washington Redskins to be Renamed Rainbow-Farting-Unicorns
In a controversial move deisgned to appease the nation’s vegan transgender vaping atheists and left-handed male feminist pastafarian apache helicopters, the Washington Redskins have agreed to rename their team to the more politically correct Fedex-Farting-Unicorns. Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins,…
PASTORS ARE PEOPLE, TOO
NOTE TO READER: Recently, I had the following email exchange from a troubled minister of the Lord. He begged me not to reveal his identity. I solemnly vowed to honor his anonymity. His name is Reverend Jimmy Buttski from Swineberg,…
5 Tools Needed for Your Roof Repair Roofing Tool List:
5 Must-Have Roofing Tools for Your Roof Before beginning any type of project, you need to make sure you’re prepared. Roofing projects are no exception. If you’re planning to take on this endeavor yourself, you’ll have to gather the correct…
New NFL Rules Require All Players to Remain Two Meters Apart
With the football season set to make its long-awaited return, the NFL has announced a number of radical changes which will come into effect from early September. Protective measures have been put in place to ensure that players are unable to…
Prophetic Bible School Civics Test: A Civics Final Exam Response from the Year 2000
[Last Section – 20 points] Choose one essay prompt and respond to it thoroughly and correctly after you have turned in the multiple-choice part of the test: 1) Detail the impeachment process, important during this last Clinton term, and critique…
“Age of Nefarious” from the Boomer Musical “Hair”: New Lyrics for Covid-19’s Target Group:
Age of NefariousAs Boomers greet a seventh span,The notion strikes woman and man:With Covid-19 lurking to bury us,The wheel’s turned from Aquarius.This is the dawning of the Age of Nefarious,The Age of Nefarious.Nefarious!Nefarious! Harmony and understanding,Sympathy and trust disbanding,A world…
Essential Cruise Universe: Cruising Toward the Future”
ESSENTIAL CRUISE UNIVERSE* CRUISING TOWARD THE FUTURE: E.C.U. Will Take You to a Place You Can Only Imagine * New Name Dear Cruise Veteran: We at Essential Cruise Universe wanted to float our name change by loyal…
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