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20 January 2012 07:58
Volunteers for GOP candidate Rick Santorum say they are growing more tired by the day trying to come up with good things to say about Newt Gingrich in order to keep the Gingrich/Santorum tag team going against candidate Mitt Romney. “At first we thought, ok, Newt is a bright dude, he has a bit more [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
15 January 2012 11:08
PYONGYANG, North Korea —GlossyNews The government of North Korea announced on Thursday that it would place the embalmed body of recently passed Kim Jong-il on permanent display next to his father’s body at Kumsusan Palace in Pyongyang and install his statues, portraits and memorial Towers of Eternal Life across the country. Almost as an afterthought, [...]
Posted in World News1 Comment
12 January 2012 07:31
SCENARIO- A secret laboratory deep underground beneath the American Heritage Think Tank And Karaoke Lounge in Washington. It is a room filled with strange scientific paraphernalia- tubes transporting strangely colored liquids run here and there connecting into buzzing machines. Varied colored indicator lights flicker on and off. All of these things seem to center upon [...]
Posted in Politics, Technology1 Comment
08 January 2012 09:56
Apple Inc. announced today its founder did not ‘go gentle into that good night.’ Instead, Steve re-booted. Developer Etta Place told reporters, “We don’t hawk that ‘quantum leap forward’ jazz; we’re not Microsoft. Our work speaks for itself. What we’ve accomplished is Virtual Cloning.” Ms. Place went on to explain VC had been a 2019 [...]
Posted in Technology6 Comments
31 December 2011 10:45
Well, folks, you can stop wondering whether (1) Anderson Cooper is gay; (2) Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin are dating; (3) Kathy Griffin is really a guy; or (4) Kathy Griffin is really a guy, gay and dating Anderson Cooper who is also gay, because, evidently, after the ball drops in Times Square tonight, Cooper [...]
Posted in Celebrity Gossip21 Comments
28 December 2011 08:19
No, I am not going to write about kangaroos. I am not that cheap. Everybody who wants to write funny stories about Australia writes about kangaroos. I refuse to stoop that low. They are too easy a target, too cheap a shot. I will, however, write about koala bears. I may not be cheap, but [...]
Posted in Science8 Comments
26 December 2011 09:59
Denizens of the universe have apparently discovered a favorite new sport. Called “Random Pointlessness”, or RP for short, this sport involves a fair amount of hard work and sweat, but nothing remotely resembling intelligence. Random Pointlessness was invented in Pennsylvania where it quickly surpassed football as the most boring thing to watch on television. Inevitably, [...]
Posted in Sports5 Comments
24 December 2011 07:03
In yet another bad sign for President Obama, dictator unemployment numbers rose sharply again this month. Partisans at both ends of the political spectrum were quick to take expected stances, but all agree on one thing. Tyrants have been among the hardest hit in a global recession that shows little signs of abating. In a [...]
Posted in Top Stories0 Comments
20 December 2011 08:26
Lee Henry Morgan, Warden at California’s San Quentin Prison is breathing a sigh of relief these days as the number of shankings in this infamously dangerous prison have decreased greatly over the past several months. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,” said Morgan of the almost humane [...]
Posted in Crime0 Comments
18 December 2011 09:04
Residents of a community somewhere in southern California are coming forward with serious allegations of discrimination, forced behavior, and restrictions on personal freedom. Compared by its residents to ‘prison’ the community apparently forces them to wear white robes at all times and to sing hymns for the community’s dictatorial administrator. That’s not the worst of [...]
Posted in Religionism4 Comments
17 December 2011 08:39
The peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s the staple of grade school students. The standby for financially-strapped college students. The sign that a husband has done something wrong when he opens the brown-bagged lunch his wife made him that morning. It’s also the focus of David Valin’s research for the past 4 years, which he’ll [...]
Posted in Human Interest1 Comment
15 December 2011 08:11
DES MOINES, IA —GlossyNews GOPTea Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich proposes to mount a nationwide nomination strategy without the use of a strong professional campaign staff. He says all he has is Callista. Gingrich freely admits it is a dizzy idea. “It’s Callista and I against them all. We’re hauling in office furniture right now, and [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
14 December 2011 05:22
What do you get when you combine a female-favored programming style like “soap operas,” with manly subject matter like “gangsters?” You get HBO’s The Sopranos, which sent competitors to sleep with the fishes for the six seasons it ruled Sunday nights. Taking a page from HBO’s playbook, Starz has invested heavily in what they call [...]
Posted in Entertainment, Television1 Comment
13 October 2011 07:39
The following was found jammed in the Michigan State Capitol Building front door by a janitor arriving early for work on Monday: MANIFESTO FOR THE LIBERATION OF THE UPPER PENINSULA FROM THE TYRANNY OF THE STATE OF MICHIGAN AND RETURNING IT TO ITS PROPER PLACE AS AN APPENDAGE OF WISCONSIN. Let this document stand as [...]
Posted in Human Interest6 Comments
10 October 2011 09:21
WASHINGTON DC —GlossyNews The GOPTea has sent out an amazing alternate proposal to the 50 states, territories and District of Columbia to replace the various GOPTea presidential caucuses and primaries in 2012 with a complicated Rock/Paper/Scissors Contest, or GOPTea–RPS. And it’s winner take all.
Posted in Politics2 Comments
09 October 2011 05:56
“I’ve given it much consideration,” said New Jersey Governor Chris Christie at an impromptu news conference called late Monday afternoon at the New Jersey diner where Christie is a regular customer. “I know that this decision will have a major impact on my wife Mary Pat, as well as my children, and so what I [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
Native Americans in Arizona Vow to Deport All Non-Native Americans
Japan Quake Silver Lining: Whaling Fleet Decimated
FlashForward Cancelled, and Five Reasons Why That's Good
White House Celebrates as US Reaches 100% Unemployment Milestone
'The Dick' Cheney Gets Starring Role In 'Dr. Strangelove' Remake
rfreed: Well put, Karn. Be sure to see the movie 'Sicko'. ...
P. Beckert: Kam, you wield quite a bit of power with those wor...
kam: Either way, GOP or Dems, the US system is designed...
Kilroy: Thank goodness for Alzheimers. This is all new to ...
rfreed: Somehow we've gone full circle with this thing.......
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