Sarko in China: “Monsieur Jinping, Break Down This Wall!”

Sarko in China: “Monsieur Jinping, Break Down This Wall!”

28 April 2015 06:34 - by Mr TM

Nicolas Sarkozy is universally renowned and respected as the man who single-handedly brought down the Berlin Wall, restored the constitutional liberties and privileges of “La République,” and ended forever the reign of jihadist terror in the entire “monde non civilisée.” But his aura is slipping somewhat. France’s most genial, witty, charismatic, and talented “notable public […]

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

2015 Advice for Graduating Students

2015 Advice for Graduating Students

26 April 2015 07:11 - by Bobby D. Foster

I’d been working as an administrative assistant at an Ivy League university for about a year when my boss, the school’s marketing director, asked me to compile a list of inspirational quotes for the graduating class. I dutifully sent a mass email to the alumni, asking them to share the best advice they had for […]

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Posted in Education0 Comments

Our Crowdfunded North Korea Movie is Chugging Along, but it Needs Your Help

Our Crowdfunded North Korea Movie is Chugging Along, but it Needs Your Help

21 April 2015 04:12 - by Brian K. White

Kim Jong-Un is reportedly flipping his shit since the wide release of “The Interview”, which even his most dastardly designs did nothing to diminish. We’re about halfway done filming ours, and I must say, it… looks… amazing. “The Interview” was pure Hollywood, but ours aims to really take the piss out of him and his […]

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Video News6 Comments

The Convenience of Misogyny? Kerry, Clinton, the White-Knight-Industrial Complex (2/2)

The Convenience of Misogyny? Kerry, Clinton, the White-Knight-Industrial Complex (2/2)

21 April 2015 04:00 - by Mr TM

Continuing what I said yesterday about about John Kerry’s ethically problematic text on war rape and its pro-“Humanity” implications… Of course, there is fierce market competition among the The Party of Humanity, rather as there are among all religious cults, sects, and militant creeds in general. But of course, what unifies each of these Communities […]

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Posted in Politics, Serious Commentary0 Comments

The Convenience of Misogyny? Kerry, Clinton, the White-Knight-Industrial Complex (1/2)

The Convenience of Misogyny? Kerry, Clinton, the White-Knight-Industrial Complex (1/2)

20 April 2015 10:33 - by Mr TM

As Hillary Clinton has announced she is running for the US Presidency, it is probably a good time to take a broader look at the potential pitfalls of politicians being presented as “feminists,” however defined. I don’t dispute that feminism (however defined) is a good thing. But there is nothing “innocent” about prominent political figures […]

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Posted in Politics, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Decidophobic Man Unable to Dismiss Completed Calendar Task Involving Ex-Girlfriend

Decidophobic Man Unable to Dismiss Completed Calendar Task Involving Ex-Girlfriend

19 April 2015 03:54 - by It's A Cat

Wilbur, Kansas – 29-year-old Marketing Manager, Larry Rossgarden, has considered himself to be a procrastinator since his college days at the University of Kansas, where he would consistently delay writing papers and studying for exams until literally minutes before they were due or set to occur. Since then, his bad habit has gotten him kicked […]

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Posted in Human Interest, Society0 Comments

Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates.

Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates.

18 April 2015 03:37 - by rfreed

The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out into the community eye is that each and every one of them is a surgically […]

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Posted in Politics5 Comments

Better parenting through polling

Better parenting through polling

17 April 2015 09:30 - by Tim Jones

When it comes to parenting, I don’t always make the best decisions. I’m not always sure what the right thing to do is in a difficult situation. Like the time our elder daughter begged and pleaded with me to let her drive the car to the mall. It was a sunny day. Traffic was light. […]

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Opinon/Editorial, Top Stories0 Comments

Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (2/2) (NSFW)

Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (2/2) (NSFW)

17 April 2015 04:10 - by Mr TM

Unlike Khomeini-ite Fiqh, TULIP-flavor Calvinism, and other scientific and empirically rigorous political discourses, “nice guy” and “friendzoning” are ideological aberrations that are completely detached from reality. Still, that didn’t stop Khameini giving it to us one last time: I mean, there are so many jumpy, rowdy, jerk-off pricks who treat other guys really, really, REALLY […]

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (1/2) (NSFW)

Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (1/2) (NSFW)

16 April 2015 04:00 - by Mr TM

Some would say that The Enemies Of Our Glorious Nation™ are quarrelsome folk. (Or if not “enemies of America,” at least the enemies of the non-satire news media and of The International Beltway Community). Still, there is such a thing as honor among thieves; or if not honor among thieves, at least honor among “Recalcitrationists […]

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

15 April 2015 04:08 - by It's A Cat

St. Louis, Missouri – As the newest Ghostbusters film comes closer to fruition, more and more companies are releasing products that, in thought, will appeal to the everyday consumer who doubles as a Ghostbusterian. The latest household name to join in on the ghost hunt? The Nestlé Purina PetCare Company with an innovative treat, featuring […]

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Posted in Human Interest, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Lincoln Monuments Attacked When Americans Realize He Created Income Tax

Lincoln Monuments Attacked When Americans Realize He Created Income Tax

14 April 2015 04:03 - by rfreed

Upon reading an article in a national newspaper stating that Abraham Lincoln was the one responsible for starting federal income tax, angered Americans across the country began a hate campaign against all memorabilia of the formerly beloved President. Mobs in Washington D.C. went after the Lincoln Memorial with sledge hammers and axes this morning rendering […]

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Posted in Politics2 Comments

EXCLUSIVE – An Interview With Mrs. Tsarnaev- Mother Of The Boston Bombers

EXCLUSIVE – An Interview With Mrs. Tsarnaev- Mother Of The Boston Bombers

13 April 2015 04:03 - by rfreed

Glossy – Good day, Mrs. Tsarnaev! Thank you for agreeing to do this interview with us. Mrs. Tsarnaev – You should be thankful, you American sensationalist pig. Glossy – Um…. well, that gets things off to a rousing start! As long as we are on the subject, why did your family come to America? Mrs. […]

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Posted in Strange People0 Comments

LibDems Exclusive Leak: Who’s Next When Cleggy Leaves the Building? (2/2)

LibDems Exclusive Leak: Who’s Next When Cleggy Leaves the Building? (2/2)

12 April 2015 11:32 - by Mr TM

Nick Clegg might not have won the election yet, but he still has the chance to be the next Anthony Eden… Or at least David Cameron, at a push. William Hague: UK. Former Minister for War and Radical Humanitarian Performance Theatre Pros: Unbelievably charismatic/genial/witty. …Compared to Ed Miliband/ Gordon Brown/Enda Kenny. Pros: Still, somewhat more […]

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Welcome to CatMatch.com

Welcome to CatMatch.com

12 April 2015 08:37 - by Tim Jones

Exciting news from Match.com, the world’s largest online match-making service. Since our launch in 1995, our goal has been to help men and women find their perfect someone. To date we have found matches for several million people – and successful matches for over 50 of them. But why should humans be the only ones […]

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Posted in Entertainment, Human Interest, Top Stories1 Comment

LibDems Exclusive Leak: Who’s Next When Cleggy Leaves the Building? (1/2)

LibDems Exclusive Leak: Who’s Next When Cleggy Leaves the Building? (1/2)

11 April 2015 11:21 - by Mr TM

Almost forgot the name of that there oul’ party until the objective BBC™ reminded me. As them there boys on Radio Ulster say, “You boys get around, don’t ye?” Not normally a compliment.

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

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