Northern Bible II: The Wackiest Ancient Israel Headlines from the Pre-Zionist Media!


Judas Finally Sells out to Rupert Murdoch, Becomes Useful Idiot

Josiah Mulls Including Torah Trigger Warnings for Gory Content: Court Conservatives Plot to Overthrow Radical ‘Snowflake Princelings’

King Solomon Regresses to Radical Pomo Nihilism: Theological Diversity is Our Greatest Strength!

OMG! Irresponsible Jerusalem King/Twitter Troll has Trigger Finger on Middle East’s Largest Arrow Silo Read more Northern Bible II: The Wackiest Ancient Israel Headlines from the Pre-Zionist Media!

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Big Smoke Blow-Up! Randy Londoners Go Insane Over Harrod’s Shop Window Beauty!

London car mechanic Brian Love was so smitten over a lady he spotted standing in a Harrods shop window, he lost his mind.

The warm, chubby, hearty 53 year old greaser Love told Glossy News: Read more Big Smoke Blow-Up! Randy Londoners Go Insane Over Harrod’s Shop Window Beauty!

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No Sleaze Please, We’re British! Tortured Hollywood Supremo’s Wrongful Sex Arrest in Red Light London!


[Ed: If ever a Hollywood sleaze story deserved a share, it’s this one! Absolutely unbelievable! Hold on to yer… whatever].
In a move that will shock many fans and devotees of the IHIC (Inspirational Hollywood Intellectual Community), stellar film producer Rick Earle has been arrested in London’s red light area. Read more No Sleaze Please, We’re British! Tortured Hollywood Supremo’s Wrongful Sex Arrest in Red Light London!

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RSPCA Beg for Front-Line Assistance! Marxist ‘Pug-Puncher’ Craze Sweeps Thru Scotland

“They may take yer pugs, but they will never take yer freedom!” has long been a sacred staple of Scottish patriotism; alongside deep-fried pizza, Special Bru and losing every major sporting tournament going! Read more RSPCA Beg for Front-Line Assistance! Marxist ‘Pug-Puncher’ Craze Sweeps Thru Scotland

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“We All Must Suffer for Our Art!” Grandiose Scottish Poet Nails Ear to Tree, Wins Universal Acclaim


A Scottish poet (apparently not, however, a Dutch one!) had to be rescued by the renowned Edinburgh Fire Brigade after nailing his own ear to a tree. Stan ‘the word’ Smith 36, revealed the source of inspiration that had prompted him to do it. Read more “We All Must Suffer for Our Art!” Grandiose Scottish Poet Nails Ear to Tree, Wins Universal Acclaim

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UNBELIEVABLE! ICC Softies Won’t Prosecute ISIS Caliph Cos ‘It Would Make His Cat Sad!’ WTF!


After the recent much-heralded capture of the ISIS caliph, the International Criminal Court has made yet another inexpicably biased ruling.

The leader of the Islamic State is not eligible for prosecution in a war crimes tribunal, as this would inevitably constitute a serious breach of his human rights.
Read more UNBELIEVABLE! ICC Softies Won’t Prosecute ISIS Caliph Cos ‘It Would Make His Cat Sad!’ WTF!

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Unbelievable! New Fines Introduced For Silly “Cooking & Driving” Offence… What’s Going On!

Drivers caught cooking whilst driving are to face tough penalties, the government says. Under new rules expected to come in next year, drivers will receive six points on their license and a £120 fine. Read more Unbelievable! New Fines Introduced For Silly “Cooking & Driving” Offence… What’s Going On!

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Hundreds of Slaves Rescued from IKEA Mines in Svooolsbaaard Mountains

In a sunrise raid in Sweden, which in fairness is about 4 hours long this time of year, UNPOL officers (not to be confused with Unipol) rescued dozens of blonde teenagers from the IKEA mines (not to be confused with ISIS, ISIL or Iain Duncan Smith) several meters from the company headquarters.

Ingvar Namewithheld was among the rescued, telling her tales of times spent stuck in the furniture mines. Read more Hundreds of Slaves Rescued from IKEA Mines in Svooolsbaaard Mountains

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Entirely Fictional Jeremy Corbyn Apparently Less Extreme than the Real One

The new Facebook Page ‘Fuck Jeremy Corbyn’ doesn’t invite you to seduce the Labour leader; nor indeed to get seduced by him, and get some edgy Trot motorcycle rides.

Wow! What an amazing find! Read more Entirely Fictional Jeremy Corbyn Apparently Less Extreme than the Real One

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