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London Riots: Who are the REAL Orwellians?

London Riots: Who are the REAL Orwellians?

I offer my solidarity, support and comradeship to everyone who, like me, is pissed off at the Orwellian banner-waving moral crusaders who want to overturn a democratic vote.

(Disclaimer: I voted for the TUSC, so I hope a hundred and 68 radical trolls I’ve never had the good fortune of meeting don’t all pile on me at once).

To speak soberly (and with all due contempt for the Equivalence Police), looking at the public FB feed, some of it is like early 20th Century Russia or the Nuremberg rallies.

If they don’t like the result, fine; but no need to get all totalitarian and say a fair vote doesn’t count just because the (admittedly loathsome) Tories don’t fit their high moral standards…

So presumably the other parties are better, right? My arse. A corrupt gang of cynical warmongers versus a corrupt gang of cynical warmongers. Whatever.

In fairness, there are a lot of people of good character and integrity in Labour; but this is not reflected in the final fruits dished out by the Establishment “upper crust” within the party, as it were. No doubt, a lot of people still working for Labour or still voting for it feel betrayed that the party they have always loved has become (in terms of practical political results) a monstrosity, fully complicit with the status quo.

It would be very wrong to associate all Labour members and voters with the misdeeds of a proportion of the party. But sadly, the very fact that the people of good conscience are in such a terrible situation is itself a damning indictment of the status quo tendencies of the Labour Party.

Still, I’m not going to advocate making a counter-protest in favour of democracy and against people who want to overturn the vote…

It won’t be me because quite frankly, consorting with champagne anarchists is not my style. They are beneath my contempt. Unlike the self-righteous-war-memorial-defacing-anti-democratic-Blitzkriegers, I have a sense of priorities. The last thing people need is a counter-protest and the chaos that would inevitably cause.

Yes, the result was a disaster; so would any of the other possible alternatives.

So what’s so special about the Tories anyway? “Other than one particular corrupt and cynical party” doesn’t mean “better than one particular corrupt and cynical party.”

Actually, there’s something even more worrying than another Tory (or indeed Labour government).

It’s even more worrying that a mob of self-important, foxhunting-hating-but-McDonalds-munching, faux-proletarian-unreconstructed-Trotskyites/Bakuninites/Vulgar-Zinovievites/Acid-Buddha-Spiritual-Economists are descending like vultures upon the city when some of them probably didn’t even take the trouble to vote anyway.

Maybe guilt at not having voted is precisely what drives their rage?

I couldn’t possibly comment.

Oh, how fun it must be to have no responsibilities in life, no duties towards other people, only a nihilistic sense of one’s own grand importance in this cosmos.

Still, how many of them even support Labour anyway? I suspect close to zero. This is not being done in the name of Labour, but some vague, neo-con-worthy notion of Good versus Evil. I doubt many of these people support any mainstream party, although I’m certainly not going to go down and survey them about their enlightened opinions and allegiances, as I’ve got better things to do with my time.

So, it may be a bit rich of them to riot against an elected Tory government when they wouldn’t do so if Labour had been elected; but it’s also a bit rich of them to be rioting when many of them probably hate Labour anyway.

Yes: I am sure most Labour voters and members, like the vast majority of people in the UK, are sickened by this travesty of “social conscience.” I suspect hardly any Labour supporters or voters even support the riots; these “demonstrations” are not pro-Labour demonstrations, and are not even framed as such. They are not anti-Tory either, so much as anti-democracy, i.e. anti-voting.

Yes, the Tories are corrupt and cynical, it’s an old story. The vast majority in the UK have, if not accepted, at least acknowledged that the vote has been taken, and that we are lumbered with yet another corrupt and cynical government.

But the small gang of righteously enraged Twitterati who want to overturn the vote think they know better, right? Would they rather have the BNP/SWP or something like that in charge?

If any of you care about parliamentary democracy at all, i.e. about the importance of acknowledging a fair vote, just look at the comments trending on FB and Twitter. This is not merely a case of people saying they disagree with Tory policies, and it’s not even ad hominem accusations. Something very twisted and sinister is going on here.

Again: I offer my “solidarity,” (excuse the ironic use of a faux-radical rhetorical gesture) to everyone who supports democracy and will acknowledge (not like, not admire, not praise or glorify) the result of a democratic vote.

I’m not being too po-faced here. I am glad that, instead of ranting, I am able to take these events with a large dose of irony, humour and sneering Voltairean grace. ;) It must be a sign of the times. What a peculiar age we live in. Monty Python lives; you know you’ve got problems when people who explicitly and concretely advocate overturning a democratic vote are pretending they are the enemies of “the Orwellians.” But what is being perpetrated by the anti-voting internet mob is the very definition of “Orwellian.”

The enemy of my crap government is not my friend. The enemies of democracy who want to overturn a democratic vote are the enemies of ALL of us. If there’s anything worse than a Tory or Labour government, it’s a mob of self-righteous, conspicuously enlightened radicals who think they are better than everyone else.

So, to speak of “priorities” again. The number one priority is to show contempt and opposition towards radical thugs who are not acknowledging the result of the vote. The fact, corrupt governments of one sort or another will always be with us. But it is a very new and worrying development to see a revolt against democracy itself, on the part of some nihilistic charlatans and tricksters who don’t seem to have such a problem with SWP rape culture; Labour warmongering; economic terrorism conducted against Myanmar, North Korea and other sovereign nation-states via sanctions; or corrupt, unaccountable, racist, imperialistic and Westerncentric institutions like the “International” Criminal Court.

Everyone within the mainstream political spectrum should know who the biggest enemies of democracy are.

It may be that UK democracy faces the biggest threat it has seen in decades, when people are deliberately screaming for the overturning of a fair and democratic vote.

But they will not succeed. As always, when they realise they need some money to feed themselves, these folks will slink off back home their mansions, widescreen TVs and venison Sunday roasts, and that will be the end of their 15 minutes of fame… or should that be, the tedious eclipse of their day in the sun?

There should be zero tolerance for people who oppose the regular, standard voting process for electing governments. The real Orwellians are the Champagne-Anarchists and Classy-Cocaine-Peddling-Hippy-Dharma-Botherers.

There should be no place in the UK for people who oppose the normal, democratic electoral procedures. The citizens of the UK have already chosen the government at the polls. If people raised in a country with a right to vote or not to vote can’t swallow it then they should do the decent thing and go and set up a vulgar-Bakuninite Utopia on the moon or something.

The UK belongs to people who accept the normal, mainstream-political-spectrum, democratic procedures. It doesn’t belong to Orwellians who want to challenge the right to vote, and who are disputing the legitimacy of a poll that they lost fair and square. In the UK, we don’t ask God, Leo Trotsky, Adolf Hitler, Peter Kropotkin, or the latest X Factor winner who our leader should be.

No. We ask individual citizens, and if we don’t like the result, we should have the grace and humility to work within the system and try to hold the legitimately elected government to account as best we can.

And if a cynical, contrarian, universally contemptuous shit-stirrer like Mr TM (of all people) is appealing to the virtue of humility, you know you’ve got problems!

Whether Tories or Labour, the UK will not be the best of all possible worlds. But opposing secular liberal parliamentary democracy and due voting process is NOT the way to improve things here.

There is plenty of time to criticise the Tories. Hopefully Russell Brand will have some things to say, the news media will also point out errors and misdeeds, and everyday life will be a scene of passionate political debate, as it is for some of us.

But what about the people “protesting” and trying to overturn the election result?

It’s faux-radical masturbatory outrage. Nothing more.

Note: I originally posted a similar version of this a social media site to express my views. But I actually think I would like to make these views of mine more public, because something needs to be said about the very worrying developments in London.


Posted in Serious Commentary, World News0 Comments

“But Immigration is Complex…” Uh-uh! Not so Fast!

“But Immigration is Complex…” Uh-uh! Not so Fast!

Coming up to the 2015 General Election, the inflammatory rhetoric of UKIP is a worrying feature of the complex political scene in the UK.

It’s always been complex, of course…

Well, we have had politicians who have expanded the suffrage and decriminalised homosexuality. Continue Reading


Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics, World News0 Comments

Sarko in China: “Monsieur Jinping, Break Down This Wall!”

Sarko in China: “Monsieur Jinping, Break Down This Wall!”

Nicolas Sarkozy is universally renowned and respected as the man who single-handedly brought down the Berlin Wall, restored the constitutional liberties and privileges of “La République,” and ended forever the reign of jihadist terror in the entire “monde non civilisée.”

But his aura is slipping somewhat. France’s most genial, witty, charismatic, and talented “notable public figure” has upset the government of a leading nation.

Admittedly, as the Chinese Communist Party is not a straight-vanilla late-capitalist White Anglo Saxon corporatist legislative entity like France…

Well, Notre Sarko, like Our Harold (re: his wanton, inexcusable disobedience on Vietnam), thought he could just let it blow over.

But he has had to fesse up ‘fess up, and tell us what went wrong.

As a bit of entirely unnecessary and utterly unamusing backstory, Nicolas Sarkozy did indeed break down the Berlin Wall, as the original Reagan speech actually said.

But sadly, the speech was (as a certain notable public figure in France tells me):

Maliciously audioshopped by the Holy Alliance of Unaccountable Brussels-Caliphate-Black-Jewish-Hip-Hop-Pied-Noir-Egalitarian-Derridean-Unreconstructed-Cultural-Marxist-Ivory-Tower-68er-Pacifist-Le-MacDo-Postmodern-Supremacist-Illuminati.

(However, the flamboyantly carnivalesque celebrity father of my conspicuously moderate source disagrees; he says the name of the culprit was about five times as long as that).

Still, not everyone agrees that Sarko single-handedly saved Europe from the only thing worse than being dominated by an unaccountable neo-corporatist colonial project that is somewhat earlier than the more recent unaccountable neo-corporatist colonial project by which you are currently dominated.

Indeed: for some deeply un-European evidence in English Rosbif-ese of Sarko’s original “abattez ce mur” error:

And from an intimately subservient state media ally of Sarko himself,

Still, the homme with da bomb slipped up when his gazed extended far beyond the International Community, to all those other myriad, multiplicitous, achingly “autrui” and Other bits of the world. “Hell is other people,” right?

Eh bien, mesdames et messieurs. All I have intended to say is that the Great Wall of China, it is a great triumph of civilization of which the Chinese race… eh bien, I mean the Chinese nation, should be very proud. You know, ever since Napoleon brought the light of civilization and Enlightenment to the Mussulmans in the… eh bien, 17th century or something like that…

Well, we have always known that China is the closest thing you can find to an actual complete, authentic, and literate civilization outside Europe.

We never once dreamed of conquering China, not even in the height of our Imperial glory; because we knew that China was too mighty and well-armed… eh bien, too powerfully cultivated and well-endowed with literary culture.

It is difficult to compare China with les noirs and les Musulmanes and the other authentically barbarian peoples, who are even more thoroughly lacking in etiquette and cultivation… eh bien, petit con, why you are misquoting me? I must demand that you show me your transcript…

What this Saxon bullshit is, what you are writing? Why you do not write in the French, the refined and civilized langue de la culture? Racaille! J’te chie à la gueule! Canaille grossière!!!

But yes… China, we should follow the model of China, but not too closely. We must maintain our metaphysical purity and integrity, so that the error of cultural equivalence may not be tolerated.

And one way to accomplish this is to do what the Chinese did: they built a wall to keep out the savages and barbarians.

Well, perhaps we also can do this?

Perhaps we can out-Chinese the Chinese…

And even keep the Chinese themselves out? ;)

Ah yes…. It commences with rap music, masjids, and the poisonous Saxon culinary abominations; and it ends with Communist subversion and decadent 68er cultural materialist postmodern semiotical deconstructionist semantic terrorism.

However, I believe that China’s exclusionary policy towards non-Chinese is simply despicable.

We all live in a single, monolithic, non-Foucauldian, pre-Althusserian Global Village…

Hence, for China to stubbornly resist the just and righteous claims of Humanity, in the face of universal suffering and the plight of our shared Global Community of individuals...

Well, if China values liberty, equality and brotherhood, she must immediately introduce a more enlightened immigration policy…

And cease her backward, isolationist stance towards immigrants and asylum seekers from Japan, Korea, and other nations which, to speak the truth, are barely more civilized than China herself.

Any nation that arrogantly disdains to respect the rights of outsiders, while permitting capital to flow freely instead, should become a pariah among all decent people in our world.

And in order to assist you with this noble endeavour, one consummately worthy of any one of the most enlightened and tolerant nations in the world, I now gloriously wield my Magic Sarko Democratic Teaspoon and:

Tap, tap, tap.

Remember, miracles do not occur once only…

Apart from the the Enlightenment, the French Revolution, and especially, the supremely noble and principled reaction that delivered the universal interest from both of these atrocities…

All three, nevertheless, being glorious, inimitable marks of comprehensively civilized nations…

Rather than of ones which, like China, have admittedly done rather commendably, considering the circumstances.

So: once I have broken down the Berlin wall; and now I deliver you also. Never forget you have a true, sincere and heartfelt friend and ally in France; we need as much of your financial investment as we can steal…

Eh bien, MANAGE!!!

I did a quick straw poll. A small number of correspondents (say 1.6 billion people or so) said Sarko was talking out of his fesse. It seems that he still has some difficulty work to do to win people over.

Still, that pales in comparison to the gargantuan task he faces in La Belle République!

Disclaimer: It is arbitrarily alleged by the malicious and vindictive enemies of Mr TM in the famously non-satire news media, that the meme for this article is “grammatically incorrect.” Do not be fooled. Mr TM does not make mistakes. Like Sarko, he merely dynamically reconfigures his lexical strategies in light of the purely value-free and objective given constraints and opportunities. It’s all in Lévy/Glucksmann, you know.


Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Patronizing Miliband, Campbell Reach out to “Stamp-Collecting Community”

Patronizing Miliband, Campbell Reach out to “Stamp-Collecting Community”

Ed Miliband has finally found a way to nail the election in 2015…

Shortly after which, he will be himself will also be nailed up and flogged in the public square by the media every day of mourning and Twitternight of his life.

Still, every Great British PM must follow the Way of the Masters… Continue Reading


Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Sexual Identity Cr-ISIS

Sexual Identity Cr-ISIS

Mosul, Iraq—This week, rebel fighter under the banner of ISIS, began destroyed over 100,000 volumes of rare, historic books.

A month prior, ISIS fighters raided the University of Mosul’s library and burned hundreds of books of cultural significance.

Why the sudden turn from enforcing strict sharia law, to now, burning antique Arabic literature? University of Mosul historian Rahman Al Salami explains, “Butt stuff. Lots and lots of butt stuff.” Continue Reading


Posted in World News1 Comment

Finally! A New Protest on Red Square… Sort of…

Finally! A New Protest on Red Square… Sort of…

The news came across the wires of a huge protest in Moscow, right on Red Square.


Are the Russian masses finally rallying up against the ex-KGB man who has reinvented Czarism in a modern form?
Is the second great Russian revolution finally taking form?

No. False alarm. Go ahead and go back to whatever you were doing. Nothing to see here. No fire. No bodies to see. Just another Putin backed big show of force and false support for his international messing with every other country on earth. Continue Reading


Posted in World News0 Comments

Fappers Rejoice as Aussie Developer Shuts Down Proposed Data Retention Plan

Fappers Rejoice as Aussie Developer Shuts Down Proposed Data Retention Plan

Melbourne born software Developer Mike Pearce has thwarted government plans to impose mandatory data retention for all Australian citizens by fundamentally changing the way the internet works.

Australian PM, Tony Abbott is currently being accused of bullying the opposition and scaring the Australian people into submission with his new data retention plan.

The plan is being fiercely fought by Australia’s newest political superhero-to-the-people, Senator Scott Ludlam. Continue Reading


Posted in Technology, World News0 Comments

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (2/2)

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (2/2)

I’m going to list for you all the Tory politicians I admire and respect and who I think fully deserve to be UK PM…

Um… never mind. Here are a few more candidates anyway.

Benito Mussolini: Flamboyant Prima Donna, Invented Postmodernism. (Borders = Arbitrary Incommensurable Wittgensteinian Bourgeois-Social Constructs).

Continue Reading


Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (1/2)

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (1/2)

The objective media has been slandering Mr TM for his Miliband/Labour-Leak article “bias.”

What a dazzling array of Neo-New-Labour candidates… Continue Reading


Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Homo Sapien Pictographs Prove Homosexuality Is Natural

Homo Sapien Pictographs Prove Homosexuality Is Natural

Paleontologists working in Southern France have discovered pictographs they estimate were placed around 10,000 B.C. The primitive drawings depict what appears to be two Neanderthal males copulating.

Lead scientist Dr. Lance Hollingsworth said, “I usually don’t get involved in politics, but clearly these cave drawing prove that homosexual relationships predate the ten commandments.” Continue Reading


Posted in Religionism, World News0 Comments

Zombie Apocalypse lasts for 3 minutes

Zombie Apocalypse lasts for 3 minutes

Washington, D.C.- Following an alarming number of calls to the CDC, FBI, and NSA, security analyst have concluded that the zombie apocalypse came and went without any causalities and $0 in property damage.

Current Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel, spoke on the matter, “Around 5:03 a.m. eastern standard time, a zombie uprising started near Deer Lick, Kentucky. The uprising promptly ended 3 minutes later, apparently due to the fact that zombies lack muscle tissue.”
Continue Reading


Posted in Health, World News9 Comments

BUSTED! Faked Charlie Hebdo-Style Attack to Cash In on Expanded Readership

BUSTED! Faked Charlie Hebdo-Style Attack to Cash In on Expanded Readership

“Absolutely despicable!” stated loyal Glossy fan Jason Nimknuts when he found out about it. “I knew they could be low, but I would never have imagined them stooping to this! Dumb bastards!”

After seeing the famed French satire magazine Charlie Hebdo’s sales go into the stratosphere when their new issue came out only two weeks after their office personnel were gunned down by Islamic extremists, the publisher and crew of Glossy News Website, a Seattle based Ruppert Murdochesque media conglomerate, got the bright idea to make their own little tragedy. Continue Reading


Posted in World News3 Comments

Kimmy’s Hate Train Still Boarding Passengers

Kimmy’s Hate Train Still Boarding Passengers

North Korean dictator and renowned chunky monkey Kim Jong Un continues on his world famous crazy train picking up more passengers at every stop.

We’re making a North Korea satire film. Click here to help our fundraising!

Not content with detonating possibly real nuclear devices and bombing the hell out of random waters in the Sea of Japan, Kimmy has expanded his narrow horizons. Continue Reading


Posted in Video News, World News0 Comments

Nightmares Prompt Kim Jong-un to Take Up Zumba

Nightmares Prompt Kim Jong-un to Take Up Zumba

Apparently, fear of his dead father is resurfacing in a big way and has been keeping N. Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un up nights for well over a year now.

The leader is said to be suffering from an ongoing bout of the vapors, leaving him feeling puny and out of sorts.

A recurring nightmare finds the North Korean leader face-to-face with his not-so-dead father who is taking the pudgy little tyrant to task for not being such a tyrant after all. Continue Reading


Posted in World News1 Comment

Japanese Encouraged to Get Laid More

Japanese Encouraged to Get Laid More

Faced with a declining birth rate and an ever growing elderly population, Japanese citizens are being encouraged to have more sex.

“Japanese men and women seemed to have lost interest in sex!” said prominent Japanese legislative leader Seiko Noda. “We need to stimulate the people’s interest in sex before the whole country disappears!”

Noda proposes a government sponsored “get laid now” campaign to stimulate the libido of Japanese citizens. Under the proposal, citizens will be provided with erotic literature, sexy lingerie, lubricating lotions, edible panties, fishnet stocking and bondage equipment such as whips and chains.

“We will not provide condoms or French Ticklers because that would defeat the whole purpose!” Noda explained.

In a recent survey 38% of Japanese men and 39% of Japanese women between the ages of 18 and 34 admit they have never had sex at all.

“I’ve had a couple of blow jobs”, said 28 year old Shinjo Ichikawa. “But I have never put my dick in a vagina”.

Experts claim that Japanese women simply aren’t interested in the tiny penises Japanese men have in relation to white or black men.

“I just like to play with myself”, said 24 year old Akiko Shonokane. “I have a career. I don’t have time for little Japanese penises. And it’s so hard to find a gaijin (foreigner)”.

“We may have to open our doors to foreigners in order to interest more women in sex’, said Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.


Posted in World News0 Comments

Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea

Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea

Prominent, but still sub-viral site has launched a Go Fund Me campaign to create a free-to-dowload video criticizing the regime.

The goal is to create a wicked, biting satirical film criticizing the totalitarian dynastic regime in North Korea.

The film would feature paid actors, paid crew and a tight production schedule. Continue Reading


Posted in Talky Pictures, World News1 Comment

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