Archive | World News

Gingrich Clarifies/Muddies ‘ISIS Contract’ Situation (2/2)

Gingrich Clarifies/Muddies ‘ISIS Contract’ Situation (2/2)

Last time, I explained to you how a conciliatory Newt Gingrich™ attempted to liberate America from a very clear and present danger.

That’s right: the mortal peril of bigoted mudslingers holding firmly and dogmatically to merely one-sided and partisan views on the Islamic State.

I quoted Gingrich’s framing of one half of the dilemma: the pro-ISIS story. Because as we all know Newt Gingrich and John Kerry all know, there are always two sides to every story… Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Theresa May: ‘Win the Hearts of Moderate Homosexual Community’

Theresa May: ‘Win the Hearts of Moderate Homosexual Community’

Apparently, because Theresa May is from the Conservative Party, she has the dispiriting responsibility of reluctantly assimilating individuals in a rather more blunt and crude way than Labour or Lib Dems.

So she has sworn to “engage with the moderate homosexual community,” in order to ensure that gay people do not cause any more “chaos, subversion and aesthetic terrorism.”

As a Conservative, I have no problem acknowledging that the gay community is a very legitimate one, which actually does have a right to exist, to pay taxes, and not have an illegitimate suspension of habeas corpus inflicted on them. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

BNP Candidates Getting too Racially Tolerant as they Age

BNP Candidates Getting too Racially Tolerant as they Age

The BNP has been hit by its biggest crisis yet.

An even bigger crisis than the shortage of dead badger carrion in Wigton…

Or the malicious efforts of the fictive Andorran Gay Illuminati and Pan-Serbian Metrosexual Skull ‘n’ Bones Club to overthrow the sound, British, commonsensical way of life.

Yes. It turns out that as BNP candidates reach a certain point in their life, their values and attitudes towards others undergo radical changes, to the great distress of their relatives and fascist comrades.

One tinpot Tyndall wept: Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Pope Francis has recently denounced the efforts by notable megachurch entrepreneur Merle Swaggett to buy out the Vatican and run the Church on a more modern basis:

The Catholic Church has been around for a fairly long time, but there are some who envy our long track record of spiritual and material success. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Religionism, World News0 Comments

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn!  (3/3)

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (3/3)

Last time:

“You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.”

Yes, nothing like edgy German socialism to warm the cockles of one’s heart. I love a bit of Liebknecht ‘n’ Luxemburg, you know.

Jezza continues:

And needless to say (although the evil hardcore extreme-right-wing-capitalist-media, e.g. the Guardian and the Socialist Work-Wipe may indeed say it), it’s not that, TECHNICALLY, I condone inappropriate acts of what a proportion of individuals may call ‘terrorism’ really-very-much-at-all… Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (2/3)

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (2/3)

Last time:

Wallace: Just change the record, man! You’re boring the arse o’ me, even if you are only a radically tendentious creation of my highly speculative fictional imagination, and not a real person.

Jezza: Well, at least you still HAVE an arse, hm?

One day, if you don’t support us, the capitalists will come and cut off your sorry petty-bourgeois-revisionist arse…

And requisition it and flog it on Ebay or some other undemocratic, top-down, non-cyber-proletarian-controlled neoliberal corporation.

(Or worse still, CAPITALIST corporation!)

Oh and by the way, you know, I think Stalin would just have LOVED Ebay. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (1/3)

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (1/3)

Former Trotskyist, aspiring Social Democrat & edgy Westminster parliamentarian Jeremy Corbyn has agreed to have another objective, impartial interview…

This time, at notable satire outlet Glossy News.

Wallace: So, we’ll play to your strengths first.

Jezza: Do I have to?

Wallace: Yes. It’s all in your objective interest. The objective material tendency of this interview is heading in that direction. TINA.

Jezza: That’s very comforting. I know a fellow admirer of the dialectic when I see one. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Dissident “MRA” Terrorists Wreak Havoc in Northern Ireland

Dissident “MRA” Terrorists Wreak Havoc in Northern Ireland

The age-old conflict between men and women in Northern Ireland has been recently worsened by a scandalous schism in the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM).

The MRM, funnily enough, is made up entirely up of self-styled “Men’s Rights Activists” (MRAs).

And similarly hilariously, the “Men’s Rights Movement” contains no men, but is composed entirely of sexually-frustrated teenage web trolls… Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

London Riots: Who are the REAL Orwellians?

London Riots: Who are the REAL Orwellians?

I offer my solidarity, support and comradeship to everyone who, like me, is pissed off at the Orwellian banner-waving moral crusaders who want to overturn a democratic vote.

(Disclaimer: I voted for the TUSC, so I hope a hundred and 68 radical trolls I’ve never had the good fortune of meeting don’t all pile on me at once).

To speak soberly (and with all due contempt for the Equivalence Police), looking at the public FB feed, some of it is like early 20th Century Russia or the Nuremberg rallies. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Serious Commentary, World News0 Comments

“But Immigration is Complex…” Uh-uh! Not so Fast!

“But Immigration is Complex…” Uh-uh! Not so Fast!

Coming up to the 2015 General Election, the inflammatory rhetoric of UKIP is a worrying feature of the complex political scene in the UK.

It’s always been complex, of course…

Well, we have had politicians who have expanded the suffrage and decriminalised homosexuality. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics, World News1 Comment

Sarko in China: “Monsieur Jinping, Break Down This Wall!”

Sarko in China: “Monsieur Jinping, Break Down This Wall!”

Nicolas Sarkozy is universally renowned and respected as the man who single-handedly brought down the Berlin Wall, restored the constitutional liberties and privileges of “La République,” and ended forever the reign of jihadist terror in the entire “monde non civilisée.”

But his aura is slipping somewhat. France’s most genial, witty, charismatic, and talented “notable public figure” has upset the government of a leading nation.

Admittedly, as the Chinese Communist Party is not a straight-vanilla late-capitalist White Anglo Saxon corporatist legislative entity like France… Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Patronizing Miliband, Campbell Reach out to “Stamp-Collecting Community”

Patronizing Miliband, Campbell Reach out to “Stamp-Collecting Community”

Ed Miliband has finally found a way to nail the election in 2015…

Shortly after which, he will be himself will also be nailed up and flogged in the public square by the media every day of mourning and Twitternight of his life.

Still, every Great British PM must follow the Way of the Masters… Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Sexual Identity Cr-ISIS

Sexual Identity Cr-ISIS

Mosul, Iraq—This week, rebel fighter under the banner of ISIS, began destroyed over 100,000 volumes of rare, historic books.

A month prior, ISIS fighters raided the University of Mosul’s library and burned hundreds of books of cultural significance.

Why the sudden turn from enforcing strict sharia law, to now, burning antique Arabic literature? University of Mosul historian Rahman Al Salami explains, “Butt stuff. Lots and lots of butt stuff.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in World News1 Comment

Finally! A New Protest on Red Square… Sort of…

Finally! A New Protest on Red Square… Sort of…

The news came across the wires of a huge protest in Moscow, right on Red Square.

Really??!!!!

Are the Russian masses finally rallying up against the ex-KGB man who has reinvented Czarism in a modern form?
Is the second great Russian revolution finally taking form?

No. False alarm. Go ahead and go back to whatever you were doing. Nothing to see here. No fire. No bodies to see. Just another Putin backed big show of force and false support for his international messing with every other country on earth. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in World News0 Comments

Fappers Rejoice as Aussie Developer Shuts Down Proposed Data Retention Plan

Fappers Rejoice as Aussie Developer Shuts Down Proposed Data Retention Plan

Melbourne born software Developer Mike Pearce has thwarted government plans to impose mandatory data retention for all Australian citizens by fundamentally changing the way the internet works.

Australian PM, Tony Abbott is currently being accused of bullying the opposition and scaring the Australian people into submission with his new data retention plan.

The plan is being fiercely fought by Australia’s newest political superhero-to-the-people, Senator Scott Ludlam. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Technology, World News0 Comments

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (2/2)

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (2/2)

I’m going to list for you all the Tory politicians I admire and respect and who I think fully deserve to be UK PM…

Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Page 1 of 1812345...10...Last »
Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

7 posts
1 post
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial