This page is only for comedy writers. If you are an advertiser, please read the contact/advertise page for further advice!
SUBMIT YOUR BEST SATIRE & COMEDY HERE! HIT US
WITH ALL YOU GOT! OR JUST READ ON A BIT FIRST…
If you write satire, or you’ve just always wanted to, consider submitting your story to Glossy News. Our stories are regularly picked up on social media, so if you think you’ve got the chops and you’re ready for the ride, there’s no better time than now. No more must you limit yourself to enraged letters to editors or mere blog posts, now you can put your brain where your mouth is… and that really is every bit as sexy as it sounds!
Glossy News launched in June of 2002 when our editor, Brian K. White, realized that, even though he had a lengthy résumé writing humor, he couldn’t get any of the existing satire sites to even look at his submissions.
Brian launched his own site, and, aggressive right out of the gate, found a dozen writers in the same boat. They had skill, maybe some readers, but without the combined efforts and a skilled marketing hand, there was no way to get anybody to read the work.
Within a few months we were up to 1,000 readers a day, which is as unimpressive now as it was back then. Within a year we were up to 3,000 a day, which was at least respectable. Within a few years we were topping the charts.
We were among the first to buy a cutting edge content management system, similar to what anyone can now get for free, which served us well. At the time our update was the bee’s knees, but this newer system has since had to be updated every few years.
We got to the point where we were publishing 3 articles a day, and sometimes showing as many as a million pages a month to our readers. Articles were routinely picked up by the likes of CollegeHumor, Fark, Slashdot, Digg, the mainstream news media, and even the occasional piece by Snopes.
We resumed full-time operation in 2007 (after a failed sale of the site stole much of its thunder) and attracted a handful of new writers, and even more with the launch of the current system.
As of now, we’re still looking to add writers, editors and photoshoppers to the staff so we can reclaim our place as the 2nd or 3rd most popular satire sites in the world.
WHY YOU SHOULD PUBLISH ON GLOSSYNEWS.com
Respectably Published – This isn’t a blog, it’s a news site, though a satire-labeled one. We do welcome opinion and editorial pieces, but prefer humorous spoof news over blog-styled entries. You can always publish your material on your own site, such as a blog, but there’s no reason to stop there. If you submit to GlossyNews, you’ll be published on a well regarded, well read website with a significant readership and vast reach.
Well Read – In addition to our many’s of thousands of organic readers, you’ll also have access to readers from HumorFeed, Google News and all the other sites that frequently link Glossy News. Even if the readership to your blog is in the hundreds of thousands, you can still benefit from the additional readership we provide. You never know if it will be your site, or ours, that gives you that little nudge over the top you need to get the fame you’re due.
Creative Authority – Our writers have always had the opportunity to write what they want, but never as much as they do now. You can run the article as-is, or request editorial revision. We ALWAYS RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REWRITE HEADLINES, so please don’t be surprised to see that happen.
Personal/Professional Freedom – We never claim ownership over your material. If we want to share it with another site, even one we directly control, we won’t do so without your express permission. If you have a personal blog and you want to post the same article there, you are free to do so. If you submit to multiple satire sites, we allow that too (though we like to know about it, so we can avoid publishing on the same days.) If you want to put your story in a book or sell it outright, you’re always free to do that. All we require is that, once you submit an article to us, publication rights are irrevocable. Basically it means that we won’t be required to go back and delete your old articles after we’ve built a link-following pointing to it.
Comments, Ratings & Feeback – Unlike many similar publications, and even our own in the past, your article will be open for comments, ratings and an open discussion. Don’t feel like you have to respond to them, and don’t take them too personally. We’ve found that a wealth of angry replies from 5 people means that another 50,000 found it great, or at least neutral.
Link to Your Site – If you have a site of your own and want to post a link to it, you can do that. You only have to post an author bio on your profile, including your link, and it will appear on every article you post as well as in the forums.
Upside Opportunities – If you love writing and you’re happy doing so, there can be some further opportunities for you to participate in the project. You may be upgraded to “Author”, which would allow you to publish articles live yourself, or “Editor”, which would allow you to oversee other peoples’ articles prior to publication. You could use this as an opportunity to create Photoshop images, sharpen your editorial skills, or just review and approve other stories. If you’re looking to sharpen your chops in the publication world, this looks good on a résumé.
You can upload as many articles as you want, and you can even pick the day and hour they will run, so if you’ve got 50-stories to put in, we won’t just blast them out right away, we’ll run them when you say they should run, even if it means waiting months to do it.
Aid and Comfort – If you need help making your article work, or you want advice, our network of committed writers and editors are happy to provide it. Sometimes you have a piece that’s – like your wife – kind of sagging around the middle. Just post a note for the editors or writers to read and and we’ll do our best to help out. If you have ideas of how we should sharpen it up, questions about what it might be missing, or suggestions for what photographs would make it stand out from the crowd, let us know; we would love to help.
We’ll Handle the Painful Photoshopping – If you’ve our site, you know we love doing creative article photos. Those are often submitted by the authors, but when the story is saved to pending, we make them at the editorial level. If you have a picture in mind that will really sell the picture, just tell us what it is and we’ll try to make it happen. Not everything is possible, of course, and some articles are more deserving of the time it takes than others, but this is an easy way to step-up the repute of your piece without extra work on your part.
We’ll Help You Be More Successful – If you have a project that needs promotion, we may be able to help you out by offering surplus ad space with Sponsored Text Links or ad banners (on this site or another in our network), to advance your cause. At the very least, we can give you advice and suggestions based on our years of experience.
Drop it here! Same as above!
We aim to be as quick as we possibly can, but in the very unlikely event we are too slow for you, feel free to nudge our awesome (and awesomely nimble!) editor: wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (the # should be an @, of course!)
Add in your headline and story, and add a picture at the top if you have one. Please bear in mind that articles with pictures run quicker than ones without. Be sure to select the category for the story that is most appropriate, and put in 5-8 “tags” (keywords about your story), and then click to save it for review.
Please note that, once submitted, the publication rights are irrevocable, and that we retain unlimited rights for future use directly tied to the publication, such as archives, promotion, and perpetual publication. We don’t assume any rights to permit your story’s use off-site, but if such a request comes in, we’ll gladly connect you with the inquiring party. We also generally don’t remove stories, except perhaps in very extreme circumstances; as this can cause harm to our site in various ways, and is ultimately detrimental to user experiences.