How Much a Smartphone will Really Cost You

How Much a Smartphone will Really Cost You

Smartphones are all around us, and everybody wants them. They need this kind of technology in their lives, to read the news, to stalk their exes on social networks, and to make all the selfies they need. But, like all things in life, smartphones are costly – and their costs often go beyond what meets the eye. Let us calculate the real cost of you playing on your smartphone.

The tangible part

Smartphones are built using a series of materials, ranging from plastic recycled from LEGO blocks, Twinkies wrappers, and PET bottles regurgitated by endangered oceanic fish, to metals extracted by child miners in backwater countries of the Third World. Their screens are sanded to perfection using a fine, white powder made out of the milk teeth of 18 year old virgins – and we all know how hard these are to come by. Since all their components are extremely small, gremlin guest workers are hired to do this tenuous job. The resulting hardware is rendered extra frail to have as short a replacement cycle as possible.

The games you play

No smartphone would be complete without the reels of a slot machine running on its screen. Experts recommend the All Slots Casino, at, an international operator with a massive library of games, as the best destination to gamble online. Not for the users in the US, though – the All Slots Casino is, unfortunately, not accepting players from the land of the free, thanks to a law passed by a greedy government in 2006. But players in other countries, from Canada to Australia, are free to play one of the more than one hundred amazing slot machines and table games available at the All Slots Mobile Casino. And they don’t even have to pay for this privilege – the All Slots Casino offers them the chance to play their favorite game free of charge, as well.

The hidden costs

To play games on your smartphone, you’ll need something nobody tells you about from the start: an internet connection. Connecting to the global network secretly supervised by every three-letter agency in the US (and some others which don’t even have acronyms, if you can imagine something like this in the Land of the Free) will allow smartphone users not only to play their favorite games (carefully filtered by the authorities, of course), but to follow their preferred news sources online. Like ours, for example. But this will come at a cost.

Since you can’t always rely on your dumb neighbor’s unsecured WiFi, you’ll need to subscribe to your own data plan. And this will set you back an easy $20 each month – more, if the above mentioned agencies’ tracking code messes with your transfer speeds.

As you can see, the retail price of your smartphone is minuscule compared to what building it costs the environment, and human dignity. Be proud to own such a priceless piece of technology!

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

How Nude Betting Helped Make Asia a Billion Dollar Gambling Hub

How Nude Betting Helped Make Asia a Billion Dollar Gambling Hub

A 2015 report on suggested that the eyes of the gambling world have shifted over the last decade. While hungry eyes used to look towards Las Vegas and its smorgasbord of gambling delights, today it seems that Asia is where many high rollers get their fill.

Of course, Las Vegas is by no means a lame duck. Indeed, back in 2015, the gambling hub in the middle of the Nevada desert welcomed 42,312,216 tourists, and casinos on the strip alone generated $6.3 billion in revenue. However, when you compare those numbers to Macau’s spreadsheet they look extremely tame.
Despite a recent dip in gambling activity, Macau’s network of casinos generated $28.9 billion in 2015, as high rollers from around the world flocked to iconic venues such as The Venetian Macao to play everything from slots to roulette.

The Asian Persuasion

So what’s prompted this migration of gamblers to Asia? Naturally there are many reasons, but one of the most obvious is the growth of online gambling. Between operators and software developers, Asia has become a hub for online gambling and that, in turn, has increased the public’s interest in gambling as a whole.
Indeed, away from Macau you’ll find software development companies like Playtech and Novenix with bases in the Philippines. Beyond that, Japan is now home to industry operators such as 32Red. Despite Britain being the operator’s main base, a movement into Asia has resulted in the creation of the URL, which was specifically designed for Japanese players.
When you contrast 32Red’s Japanese platform with a European-facing site like Casino Euro, you’ll notice that the former not only has Japanese as its default language, but some of the games are different. Pai Gow Poker and baccarat, two hugely popular games in Asia, feature heavily on the site. In contrast, Casino Euro focuses much more on slots such as Rainbow Riches and Starburst.
Essentially, the growth of online gaming in Asia has prompted the rise in popularity of live gaming in Asia, but why are people now more inclined to gamble online? When it comes to reasons, everyone has their own, but we like to think out of the box which is why we’re convinced that underwear helped to build Asia’s billion dollar industry.

Why Online Betting is Best

So, before we leave you to ponder the gaming boom in Asia, here are some reasons why people now ante-up online:

You Can Play in Your Underwear


Walk into any casino in Macau wearing nothing but your underwear and you’ll be hauled out by a gang of burly security guards before you can say “I’m all-in”. While the act of betting in the buff won’t necessarily make you more attractive to lady luck (unless you’re some sort of swimwear model), you will feel more comfortable when you ante-up.
This, in a nutshell, is one of the main reasons people love to play casino games online. When you log into Mr. Smith Casino and click on Gonzo’s Quest slot, there isn’t a sign that tells you to put on some pants before you spin. Basically, gamble what you want, when you want and how you want: that’s the beauty of online gambling.

You Can Dare to Swear

Whether it’s a big win or an unexpected loss, emotions run high when you’re gambling but inside a brick and mortar venue you can’t express those emotions without getting into trouble. As social as casinos are, the act of bellowing like an opera singer won’t go down well with the management.
Fortunately, thanks to the power of online casinos, you can lay on your couch, bet as you wish and cry your heart out. Bet big, bet loud or go home, that’s the mantra every online gamer should live by.

You Can Gamble on the Loo


Where’s the most inappropriate place you can gamble? Well that all depends on how depraved you are. Online operators like 32Red, Casino Euro and Mr. Smith all have dedicated mobile platforms which means you can deposit and play whenever and wherever you like.
In our minds that means betting on the bog, but you could literally take this newfound mobility to any extreme you like and bet on the roof of your house, on the bus or even during a boring meeting at work.
Basically, when it comes to it, online gambling is a better way to bet and people know this. Regardless of why people ante-up in the virtual arena, the fact is that they do and this means a general increase in gambling as a whole across Asia and, moreover, the world.

Posted in Biz News, World News0 Comments

LeBron breaks the Cleveland curse

LeBron breaks the Cleveland curse

Being a sports fan in Cleveland does not make for an easy life, considering the the rollercoaster of emotions the teams from the region have put their supporters through.

The Cleveland Browns are renowned for their collapses in the 1980s in the two AFC Championship matches against the Denver Broncos, nicknamed ‘The Drive’ and ‘The Fumble’.

Broncos quarterback John Elway led a 99-yard drive to lead his side to the Super Bowl, breaking Browns’ hearts, while one year later running back Ernest Byner fumbled on the goalline against the same opponent, spurning the chance to tie the game.

Cleveland have endured similar horror shows in the world of basketball and baseball. A young man by the name of LeBron James aimed to break the ‘Cleveland Curse’ after being drafted first overall by his home state club in 2003. Continue Reading

Posted in Sports Events, Sportsfolk0 Comments

Joshua plans to unify heavyweight division ahead of Breazeale fight

Joshua plans to unify heavyweight division ahead of Breazeale fight

Ahead of his first title defence of his IBF heavyweight belt, Anthony Joshua has revealed plans to unify the heavyweight division, despite his relative inexperience in the sport. Never lacking in confidence, Joshua believes that he can reach far greater heights in the world of boxing, with the former Olympic gold medallist holding a perfect professional record from his sixteen fights to date. Joshua takes on American Dominic 88Breazeale at the end of the month, and has been training with the GB Olympic squad in preparation.

The Londoner is the overwhelming favourite with the bookmakers for the fight, with Betway offering odds of 1/33 for Joshua to come out victorious. With the fight scheduled to once again be held at the capital’s O2 Arena, the bright lights of Las Vegas will surely be waiting in the wings should Joshua impress against Breazeale. Joshua claimed the IBF title after a second round knockout of Charles Martin, and with 31 KO’s from 33 wins between himself and Breazeale, fans inside the area on June 25th could well be set for more fireworks. You can find his betting odds on Betway, as well as a full schedule of boxing match ups for the upcoming months.

Also on the card for the night of boxing is George Groves, as he returns to the ring against Martin Murray, in what is an eliminator for the WBA world super-middleweight title. Groves is the 2/5 favourite with Betway having defeated David Brophy by way of knock out last time around. Elsewhere, Chris Eubank Jr defends his British middleweight title against Welshman Tom Doran, with the son of the former great given favourable 1/25 on odds by Betway.

At the start of July, we see the much anticipated rematch between Tyson Fury and Wladimir Klitchsko, as the pair meet in Manchester. Despite Fury playing down his chances in the build up to the fight, having ridiculed his own weight and sparring performances, the WBA champion is 20/21 with Betway to claim victory on home soil. Joshua has long been linked with an all British heavyweight contest with Fury since his breakthrough in the division, and is 4/5 with Betway should a potential fight get the go ahead in the future.



Posted in Sports, Sports Events0 Comments

Referendum shock tactics

Referendum shock tactics

It started as a Conservative party election promise – if we voted them in, we could have our say on EU membership. Well, we did vote them in and now it’s finally going to happen. On Thursday 23rd May the UK will go to the polls for a monumental referendum on whether or not we should continue our membership of the EU. What the outcome of that vote will be is all but impossible to predict and punters are already placing their bets. However, one thing can be said for certain – in the run up to the referendum the shock tactics and a liberal idea of what constitutes the ‘truth’ have been rife on both sides. Let’s take a look at some of the words and actions both the leave and the remain camp have shocked us with over the course of their campaigning.

Tangled in red tape Continue Reading

Posted in Politics0 Comments

Surviving the storm: how to steer your business out of a crisis

Surviving the storm: how to steer your business out of a crisis

When running a small business, finances can often be tight, especially when you’re going through a crisis period. Getting into financial difficulties, for whatever reason, doesn’t have to mean the end of the road for a company.

There are many successful businesses that have managed to steer themselves out of a crisis and continue trading. When you’re facing tough times, here are some tips on how you can tackle different financial situations. Continue Reading

Posted in Biz News0 Comments

Beware the “Stranded Buddy” scammers

Beware the “Stranded Buddy” scammers

I got a call from a close friend last week. He was in Vegas and he was in trouble.

This wasn’t entirely out of character for him, but the way he contacted me certainly was. He had a legal rep call me and it kept getting weirder from there.

Look, gambling is fine. I’ve bought a dozen lottery tickets in my 23 years since I turned 18, and I’ve spent more hours at slot machines than I can recall. Continue Reading

Posted in Entertainment0 Comments

Winners can do the craziest things

Winners can do the craziest things

Did you know that lottery winners go broke at twice the rate of the rest of the population? It’s quite a statistic, don’t you think? You ask someone to scrimp and save all their lives and they dutifully squirrel away a few pennies for a rainy day. But give someone all the money they have ever dreamt of and the brakes come off in a way that you couldn’t imagine!

These stories of what some of the most notorious lottery and casino winners have done may not restore your faith in human kind, but they might make you feel better about not being stupid. Continue Reading

Posted in Entertainment0 Comments

South African Rugby Team To Play US At American Football

South African Rugby Team To Play US At American Football

After disappointment at the Rugby World Cup 2015, which included arguably the most shocking defeat in the tournament’s history, team coach Heyneke Meyer yesterday confirmed that the Springbok will take a yearlong hiatus to pursue ‘other opportunities’.

Team captain Flourie du Preez later confirmed the news, adding that the team with be facing a US ‘All Star’ team at American Football in July 2016. Responding to journalists at a fundraising event in Pretoria he said, “I’ve always fancied playing quarter back and I could use the additional income, so why not?” Continue Reading

Posted in Sports, Sports Events0 Comments

Van Gaal’s football by numbness misses United’s point

Van Gaal’s football by numbness misses United’s point

Manchester United boss Louis van Gaal is nothing if not a pragmatist. Bristling at criticism of his side’s lack of attacking flair of late, the Dutchman has insisted that his team is still a work in progress.

It is, as he has labelled it, at a moment in an ongoing process.

United’s fans, spoiled as they were during the unprecedented entertainment levels of the Sir Alex Ferguson era, are unimpressed. ‘Processes’ are not what they pay to see. Continue Reading

Posted in Sports, Sportsfolk0 Comments

Is there really a conspiracy against Mourinho’s Chelsea?

Is there really a conspiracy against Mourinho’s Chelsea?

Chelsea strode to the Premier League title last season after a dominant performance for the majority of the campaign. The Blues were streets ahead of their nearest rivals and Jose Mourinho’s men had high hopes prior to the start of the 2015-16 season.

However, they have failed to inspire confidence and Chelsea are looking more like relegation candidates than defending champions. Despite their poor form and performances, Mourinho has tried to put the blame on luck and refereeing decisions.

For the past few years, the Portuguese has claimed in the press that there is a conspiracy against his side. While he very rarely accepts that they were simply outplayed by the opposition, Mourinho tends to give credit to their conquerors. After the recent 3-1 home defeat by Southampton, the Chelsea boss was once again discussing a lack of refereeing decisions to his men and placed the blame on referee Robert Madley (see video below). The Portuguese believes that Madley is not the only official to have a campaign against his side and insists that the Premier League’s top referees all enjoy watching the Blues lose. Continue Reading

Posted in Sports2 Comments

The Best and Worst Celebrity Commercials

The Best and Worst Celebrity Commercials

Celebrity endorsements have the power to make or break a brand. Choose the right hunk in tight trousers and an inability to remember where he left his t-shirt and you’ll shift bottles of aftershave. Similarly, choose an international star like Sylvester Stallone, take him out of his Hollywood mansion, fly him to a small northern town in England and make him pretend to love bread and you can take your brand to new heights.

Of course, celebrity endorsements and commercials don’t always hit the mark. In fact, sometimes the use of a certain “star” can lead the online world’s trusty flock of easily offended Twitter lovers to crow about the injustice of celebrity X being used as a marketing tool. Continue Reading

Posted in Talky Pictures, Television0 Comments

British Politics Even More Boring than it Used to be Shock

British Politics Even More Boring than it Used to be Shock

British political life was never that interesting, but the election of lifetime dullard Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the opposition Labour Party has now sucked the life out of the business so spectacularly that the famous Houses of Parliament are in danger of being closed down and turned into a second hand carpet shop.

Newly-elected Labour leader Mr Corbyn is incontestably, irrefutably and without fear of contradiction the dullest man ever to appear in public. Anywhere. Ever.

If you thought debates about income tax thresholds and National Health Service waiting time statistics were boring, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Mr Corbyn, who has been in the job for only a matter of days (although it feels like years), has already endangered the careers of numerous sharp pencilled journalists with answers to provocative questions so staggeringly mundane that at least one senior news editor has had to be treated for a severe reactive catatonic shock.

Westminster medics have been overwhelmed by journalistic patients showing an array of reactive symptoms which are described as Catatonic Over-Reactive Brain Induced Necrosis (CORBIN). CORBIN produces much the same effects as being hit over the head with a heavy frying pan, but without the element of surprise or the useful ability to fry an egg afterwards.
Some of this is of course not true, but it is way more interesting than anything that has actually happened.

Delegates at the recent Labour Party conference reported that they were only able to survive the mind-numbing brainwipe that was Corbyn’s inaugural speech as leader by covertly playing free Pokies with no download on their phones and iPads whilst the Corbyn mumbled his way through the leftovers of previous leaders’ speeches that he’d found somewhere down the back of a sofa as this fictitious scenario continues.

The standing ovation at the end was nothing to do with the speech – it was an ironic celebration of former Prime Minister Gordon Brown managing to get four Lara Croft’s in a row. Poor old Gordon – he’s never been so popular – or so interesting.

“I don’t know” is one of Corbyn’s more spectacular public utterances, albeit one he saves up for those occasions when he really needs a headline grabber. “We’ll have to see,” is another.

This guy takes the whole idea of a sound bite and gently spoons mogadon into it until sounds and bites are something that might have happened once upon a time in a daydream, but it’s all a bit hazy…. Where was I… and what’s that frying pan doing here?

Posted in Politics, World News1 Comment

New York Promoters to Race Left-Handed 3-Year-Olds, Televise It

New York Promoters to Race Left-Handed 3-Year-Olds, Televise It

I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next guy, but a 1.5 mile race over dirt where the athlete’s cutoff age is three years old is probably not my cup of toffee.

Promoters are shameless, predicting no shortage of competitors for the top prize. As a parent, I’m disgusted, but for $800,000 I have to admit I’d consider it.

An email response from the mayor of Elmont, New York, where the race is being held, was as shameless as it was tone deaf. Continue Reading

Posted in Sports Events0 Comments

Steroids Rampant at the Kentucky Derby? The Answer May Not Surprise You

Steroids Rampant at the Kentucky Derby? The Answer May Not Surprise You

If there are two things Kentucky is famous for, and there is not, it’s Fried Chicken and the annual horse race watched, it is believed, by spectators.

But once again the specter of steroids in sports has reared it’s ugly head and stomped it’s hoof twice for “yes”.

Long shot filly Knobs At Hand is unlikely to win, but his trainer Big Dave Galaga is not about to leave anything to chance. Continue Reading

Posted in Sports Events, Sports Scandals0 Comments

Sports Reporter Reports Equal Number of Teams Winning, Losing

Sports Reporter Reports Equal Number of Teams Winning, Losing

According to latest sports reports, the number of teams winning this week was once again equal to the number of teams losing.

The odds of the same number of teams winning as losing over the entirety of history is impossible according to some, or based on the words of others, completely predictable.

In fact checking this story we looked at ESPN and the sports betting site,, and early numbers appear to pencil out. Continue Reading

Posted in SportsComments Off

Page 1 of 912345...Last »
Glossy News Podcast

(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial