New York Promoters to Race Left-Handed 3-Year-Olds, Televise It

New York Promoters to Race Left-Handed 3-Year-Olds, Televise It

I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next guy, but a 1.5 mile race over dirt where the athlete’s cutoff age is three years old is probably not my cup of toffee.

Promoters are shameless, predicting no shortage of competitors for the top prize. As a parent, I’m disgusted, but for $800,000 I have to admit I’d consider it.

An email response from the mayor of Elmont, New York, where the race is being held, was as shameless as it was tone deaf. Continue Reading

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Posted in Sports Events0 Comments

Steroids Rampant at the Kentucky Derby? The Answer May Not Surprise You

Steroids Rampant at the Kentucky Derby? The Answer May Not Surprise You

If there are two things Kentucky is famous for, and there is not, it’s Fried Chicken and the annual horse race watched, it is believed, by spectators.

But once again the specter of steroids in sports has reared it’s ugly head and stomped it’s hoof twice for “yes”.

Long shot filly Knobs At Hand is unlikely to win, but his trainer Big Dave Galaga is not about to leave anything to chance. Continue Reading

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Posted in Sports Events, Sports Scandals0 Comments

Sports Reporter Reports Equal Number of Teams Winning, Losing

Sports Reporter Reports Equal Number of Teams Winning, Losing

According to latest sports reports, the number of teams winning this week was once again equal to the number of teams losing.

The odds of the same number of teams winning as losing over the entirety of history is impossible according to some, or based on the words of others, completely predictable.

In fact checking this story we looked at ESPN and the sports betting site, SportsbookNavigator.com, and early numbers appear to pencil out. Continue Reading

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Posted in SportsComments Off

Statistics Show 85% of Men Would Rather Play Mobile Games than Go Out with In-laws

Statistics Show 85% of Men Would Rather Play Mobile Games than Go Out with In-laws

A recent study conducted by South Central Louisiana State University has found that the vast majority of men would rather play games on their mobile phone devices than spend quality time with their in-laws.

The shocking findings released this week challenge previously held beliefs about boyfriends’ and husbands’ intrinsic desire to spend most weekends and holidays in the company of their partners’ parents. Continue Reading

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Posted in Society0 Comments

2014’s Biggest Douchebag of the Year — Dan Bilzerian

2014’s Biggest Douchebag of the Year — Dan Bilzerian

Douchebags. Everyone gets their fair of share of douchebags in life, from the fleeting obnoxious ones that drive past you in their pimped out Ford Fiestas in a flurry of LEDs and screeching tyres, to the annoying ones who just have to tell everyone at the party about how they once played beer pong for 5 hours straight. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Internets Tubes2 Comments

Ichiro Suzuki Passes Drug Test, Fails Turing Test

Ichiro Suzuki Passes Drug Test, Fails Turing Test

When MLB teams acquire new players they expect their very best and this MLB offseason has featured an almost overwhelming amount of moves as teams try to upgrade their rosters and shift their focus in a new direction.

Since Ichiro entered the American major league with the Seattle Mariners in 2001, Ichiro has been a puzzle of great intrigue and interest. Continue Reading

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Posted in Sportsfolk, Technology1 Comment

Super Best Technological Advancement in Making of Online Website

Super Best Technological Advancement in Making of Online Website

It was only after the internet came into light as a big roar that online websites started to grow like mushrooms after rain.

Previously used by academia since the 1980s, it was only by the 1990s that the commercialization of the internet came as an international network resulting in its popularization and fusion into almost every aspect of modern human life.

It was in year 1991 that a whole new world online began whereby there existed only one website, and even that one didn’t have a cat. This has swiftly grown throughout the years where now it exist over a billion websites. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

How to pull the perfect Christmas Present Poker Face

How to pull the perfect Christmas Present Poker Face

It is Christmas morning and the anticipation is killing you, all you want to do it dive into your stack of presents and find out what your close friends and family have got you this year.

There is no finer sight than the face of a loved one opening a gift and being overcome with joy. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Society0 Comments

Smart Woman Proves Guessing the Beans in a Candy Bowl is a Skill Game

Smart Woman Proves Guessing the Beans in a Candy Bowl is a Skill Game

One woman was able to use her lucky number to make herself $1,000 richer in one of the most skillful gambling competitions around.

They say that there are two main ways to gamble. The first way is to play games that are completely of chance, and the second way is to play on games that are based on skill.

One woman was able to show that sometimes you don’t know which is which by winning a massive $1,000 jackpot in a bean-guessing contest. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment0 Comments

Top Online Slot Games from the Movies

Top Online Slot Games from the Movies

Let’s be honest, at one time or another, we’ve all had the odd fantasy about what it might be like to be a big Hollywood movie star.

The glitz, the glamour, the fame and fortune, it could be all ours for the taking. Ah, if only, right? Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment0 Comments

Julianna Rose Maurelio, Stephanie from LazyTown, Dead of Apparent Suicide Overdose

Julianna Rose Maurelio, Stephanie from LazyTown, Dead of Apparent Suicide Overdose

Beloved and coveted former child actress and sex icon Julianna Rose Maurilio was found dead in her Bangkok apartment where she was staying while filming an upcoming feature.

“Stephanie [from] LazyTown was on TV, I’m told,” said coroner Panupong Mantri. “[The toxicology screen] says she overdosed on sleeping pills and pain killers… Far too much to be accident of getting high [on the drugs for recreation.]” Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television13 Comments

Prepare the Anti-Matter Beam!

Prepare the Anti-Matter Beam!

Those words are not coming from a Star Trek script, or a Sci-Fi movie, they are actually being given by the scientists of ASACUSA , a multi-disciplinary collaboration between CERN and Japan’s RIKEN research center.

ASACUSA team leader, Yasunori Yamazaki is some kind of Captain Kirk for these guys, requesting things like:

-Check the superconducting anti-Helmholtz coil!
-Scan the multiple ring electrodes!
-Prepare the microwave cavity and a beam-focusing spin-selector ready for operation!
-Check all stats for Fantasy football!
(Ok, that one is mine! lol)
I can actually imagine the whole Star Trek crew, like in an episode of the famous TV show, and myself finding stats at sports websites like Sports Betting Dime.
But the future is now, and those are real engineering marvels that put us a little closer to the answers we´re looking for…

But, what´s the deal with anti-matter stuff?

Sci-Fi movies were able to educate us enough to know that matter and anti-matter annihilate each other in a flash of energy when they interact… Do you remember Angels & Demons by Dan Brown? Something like that.

In this case, scientists are trying to understand why matter prevails in this Universe of ours. If anti-matter and matter co-exist in balance (that’s what we think they do), why is anti-matter so difficult to perceive?

In order to find the answers, Europe’s CERN research center set a new number of particle-smashing experiments, including a special trap. The anti-matter, shows a particular problem–it’s hard to keep the atoms in existence long enough to make fine-scale measurements.

So, this special magnetic trap located at CERN’s Anti-proton Decelerator facility is making the difference for scientists, “bringing the possibility to guide the energetic anti-atoms to a region with a weak magnetic field. This is so we can have high-precision studies of anti-hydrogen atoms, particularly the hyper-fine structure, one of the two best known spectroscopic properties of hydrogen” Yasunori Yamazaki said.

These “mad” scientists won’t build an anti-matter cannon to destroy an asteroid (Why not?), but their discoveries will bring more possibilities to use anti-matter knowledge for medical purposes, like the PET scanners that actually are used by hospitals around the world to take snapshots of our bodies.

So, the next time you hear “Prepare the anti-matter beam!” turn your attention to the Swiss-French border… chances are Captain Kirk is there!

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Posted in Technology, Television7 Comments

Seeking Alternatives to Lethal Injection, States Consider Guillotine, Bear Mauling

Seeking Alternatives to Lethal Injection, States Consider Guillotine, Bear Mauling

Assville, Missouri — On the heels of an execution gone disturbingly wrong in Ohio, states are pondering more modern ways to execute death row inmates.

McGuire was convicted of brutally raping and murdering a pregnant newlywed. The Ohio execution of Dennis McGuire took nearly 25 minutes and was criticized by many for its apparent lack of efficacy, since the inmate gasped and gurgled for breath for what seemed an eternity. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Human Interest5 Comments

49ers PR Office Readies for Mass Suicide Sunday Night

49ers PR Office Readies for Mass Suicide Sunday Night

The San Francisco 49ers had a terrible 12-4 season, but this Sunday they face the Seattle Seahawks with a stunning 13-3 regular season record. Facing certain defeat, 49ers fans are widely expected to commit mass, ritual suicide.

The Seahawks have the best defense in the league, and have been favored over the 49ers by 3-9 points/game this regular and post-season, but even losing inside the spread is unlikely to sate the bloodlust for sacrifice to make for a better team next season. Continue Reading

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Posted in Sports Events, Sportsfolk11 Comments

Fourteen-Year-Old Florida Boy Expelled for being Named Joffrey

Fourteen-Year-Old Florida Boy Expelled for being Named Joffrey

Fourteen year old Joffrey Stevens of Astapor High School was instantly expelled today once it became clear that he shared his name with the infamous Game of Thrones king, and all round hated guy, Joffrey Baratheon.

Young Joffrey Stevens had no idea the drama that was in store for him when he awoke this morning. “I was beyond excited to be starting at a new school, a fresh start,” he told GOTnews earlier this afternoon. “I was always bullied at my previous school, almost as if the students blamed me for something. There was constant talk about how I was a monster brought into the world by incense, or insects, or some word similar to that.”

There was even reports of an older girl throwing her pomegranate juice all over Stevens, shouting hysterically about some wedding.

During the morning’s roll call, Jon Sun, Stevens’ teacher, immediately sent him to the headmaster’s office. Sun has since suffered from a panic attack. “I never wanted this teaching job at Astapor High,” says Sun, “although after gambling away all of my Christmas savings at http://jackgold.com this past December, I had no other choice. There are certain boundaries,” which Sun strongly believes Joffrey crossed. “I mean, Ned Stark did nothing wrong, he didn’t deserve that fate, the whole ordeal is utterly unforgivable.”

Joffrey’s mother, Lanni Stevens, is absolutely appalled about the entire situation, saying that Game of Thrones wasn’t even a big deal when her and her husband decided to name their son Joffrey. “We both just really liked the name,” she said, “how was I to know that the name would become associated with one of the most hated people of all time?”

“We have to take a zero tolerance approach to sensitive matters such as this,” Mrs. H. Odor, headmaster of Astapor High replied, when asked whether the expulsion would stick. “With the recent release of the new Game of Thrones trailer, it is evident that young King Joffrey has not changed his evil ways. Until he has come to his senses, we cannot risk having Joffrey Stevens wandering these corridors freely”.

GOTnews has so far been unsuccessful in their attempt to receive any form of statement from ‘A Game of Thrones’ author, George R. R. Martin, although insiders close to the author have allegedly told reporters that “they know nothing.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is actually a guest post from Jason, who I know through an internet colleague. If it wins the monthly contest, it will go to him, not Dexter.

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Television0 Comments

Come on, Google ChromeCast, You Know What We Want

Come on, Google ChromeCast, You Know What We Want

Google came out with an innovative product at an amazing price. For just $35 you can get a clever HDMI device to plug into your Hi-Def TV to receive broadcast video from nearly any wireless device in your home.

But as great as it is, it still sucks one approximate pail of floppy donkey dicks.

With this affordable device you can stream Hulu-Plus (not the real Hulu, but the one you have to pay for,) Pandora and YouTube. You can also stream anything that shows up on Google Chrome, which is nearly everything, save for a ton of the things you actually want.

If you have files saved locally to your hard drive, you might be disappointed when you try to play them. You can drag files and drop them in the address bar, and early tests said many files would work just fine.

There are literally zero files from the various cameras I’ve owned over the past few years that will play in Google Chrome. Many of the video files I get to review won’t play, which is a bummer.

I installed MyPlex to work around it, but it’s a weak workaround. It’s a tricky, mostly terrible interface. It tries to do too much without actually doing the one, basic thing you want it to. That’s no good, Google.

In a perfect world, Google would make a local player that allows for browsing by folder. Short of that, they could just support a wider variety of files in the damn Chrome browser.

Maybe Google knows better than I that I don’t really want to see my family videos again, or the home videos my friends share with me. I can admit, these are likely painfully awful videos, but seriously, if there was just even a half-assed attempt to accept a reasonable range of modern filetypes, I’d rate this a must-buy device… but it doesn’t, so I can’t.

I’ll still say it’s pretty good, and that it’s something you should think about, but the market for it as of now is pretty limited. You have to be tech savvy, you have to only desire a narrow range of filetypes to be supported, and you have to be patient as hell, since it’s still equally buggy. Equally buggy as hell.

Disclaimer: Google didn’t give me a Chromecast, I bought it myself. The only thing they ever gave me in the 8-years I’ve been working with them was a free lava lamp for participating in a marketing test, and it died within a month. I can’t say I’m not in anyone’s pocket, but I’m definitely not in theirs.

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Internets Tubes0 Comments

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