How to win on jackpot slot macines

How to win on jackpot slot macines

Slot machine games are one of the most colorful and loudest attractions to be found in a casino and online.

Their designs can range anywhere from plain numbers to creative themes. Slot machines have been a popular choice for many casinos to keep patrons entertained and for good reason.

Each year these machines bring in billions of dollars of revenue due to patrons seeking out the jackpot. Winning is not usually a huge part of the equation when it comes to myVegas slot machines since luck is the name of the game. Continue Reading

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Louis Armstrong & the What-About-Bop

Louis Armstrong & the What-About-Bop

My favorite Louis Armstrong song has to be ‘The What-About-Bop!’

What about, oh yeah, what about!
Everybody love dem what about!

The neocons love it, the Islamists love it!
Everyboy lovin’ dem what about!

Hey baby, hey baby what you whataboutin’ ’bout, girl?
Everybody lovin’ dem what about!

GOP God Squad love it,
Democrat Blame Squad love it,
Everybody lovin’ dem what about!

Got any more verses? Got friends and family who are not easily offended? Add them to the comments below, and the editorial staff will publish them!

Alternatively, send your funny stuff to Brian & Wallace @ Glossy News:

glossynews@gmail.com
wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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Posted in Music, Politics0 Comments

The Weather Moaning Tradition

The Weather Moaning Tradition

The new spate of chilly and foggy ongoing weather conditions has left the crossed-armed and annoyed Britons shaking their heads in disgust. No place has been spared, ranging from Cumbria through West Scotland, the South West, Wales, and even as far as other neighbouring locations. But at the same time, the prospect of getting the chance to moan once again about the dull weather that has been ongoing for a few weeks has equally filled all of them with a collective pleasure.

John Youknowho, an inhabitant of the rainy Peak District revealed to us: ‘Did you have the opportunity to look at the weather conditions where we are? We have never seen anything like this ever before. The authorities are not helping nor the council. It’s just great. I feel like a pig in a pigsty. The last few days, I really could not stop myself from complaining about the weather from the time that I stepped out of bed to find myself knee deep in water, not that you from the south actually care, to the time I ordered my last drink at the pub as we pumped the water out. I’ve spent my whole day in this dull and raining weather and I’m loving every bit of it.’

Mr John’s moaning was joined by another fellow moaner in Wales who revealed about their happiness of getting the opportunity to shout at the council officials who were in the incapacity of providing any help as it was the weekend. A group of pensioners were verbally wishing that one of their group would get lost in the fog and get hit by something. They could then freely blame someone and moan about not being able to attend the funeral.

Until you find another prospect of happily complaining about the weather or any other situation to keep the tradition going, you can try exciting weather themed online slots at Magical Vegas such as such as Cloud Quest, Natural Powers, Noah’s Ark, and Tornado Farm Escape. Here you won’t have the opportunity to complain with its large variety of games such as online slots, roulette, table and card games, and online casino games to keep you entertained through your mobile device in any weather conditions, anywhere and anytime.  What’s even better is that you get no deposit free spins!

Back in London, thousands of commuters got the opportunity to rejoice and moan about the derailment of a South-eastern freight train, even though it was not the fault of the weather. This led to the services being delayed and another ideal occasion for the Londoners to express their discontentment of commuting in such harsh weather conditions. They were getting squashed in the train stations and battling to get out of this chaos while hoping to get home safe, if ever they manage to go back home. While waiting to have some info about the next train that could get them to their destinations, many jumped on this situation to google how to claim their fares back or are happily taking a day off from work hoping that the weather gets worst.

 

 

 

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Glossy News Book Showcase 6: Tim Jones’s YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time

Glossy News Book Showcase 6: Tim Jones’s YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time

YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time is available for purchase as a paperback book or as an ebook at fine retailers everywhere, as well as a few shady outlets I would never set foot in. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest, Top Stories0 Comments

Glossy News Book Showcase 5: Benjamin Cain’s ‘God Decays’

Glossy News Book Showcase 5: Benjamin Cain’s ‘God Decays’

Howard Rhodes, an NSA cryptanalyst, engineered the zombie apocalypse. So said the President of the United States in his shocking final address to the nation, which served as the American epitaph.

Four years later, the old world is in ruins and is stalked by the living dead.

Many survivors keep journals to record their travails in the hope that their lives still matter. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

Glossy News Book Showcase 4: Laurie Calhoun’s We Kill Because We Can!

Glossy News Book Showcase 4: Laurie Calhoun’s We Kill Because We Can!

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

I am here reproducing some quotes relating to Laurie’s book. I have edited the following text from an existing promotional text.

What people are saying about We Kill Because We Can:

Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, War Zone0 Comments

Islam and the Mystery of the “True” Liberal

Islam and the Mystery of the “True” Liberal

Meet “Moderate” Muslim and “True” Liberal…

Or MM & TL, for short!

***

MM: Look, I don’t believe terrorists represent Islam, there are many things they do that contradict the Quran and Sunnah.

TL: No, you’re a “cherry picker”, accept that they’re following the “true” version of your religion. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Was 2016 Really as Bad as They Say?

Was 2016 Really as Bad as They Say?

NOTE: Matt Strange has allowed Glossy News to reprint his thought-provoking piece on how ‘2016 sucks!’ isn’t quite the whole story…
Thank you, Matt! Great work!

***

Right, fuck it, I’m done with ‘OMG 2016 was terrible’, here’s some fucking awesome things that happened….
You’re welcome! Merry fucking Christmas!
There’s an Ebola Vaccine now
Child Mortality down across the globe
+9% survival rate in pancreatic cancer sufferers Continue Reading

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Posted in Top Stories0 Comments

Lots to Learn About Video Poker Slot Machines

Lots to Learn About Video Poker Slot Machines

If уоu аrе playing video poker slot machines оr lооkіng tо play them, thеn соnѕіdеr Jokers Wild – іtѕ thе perfect introduction fоr novice players. Video poker slot machines, unlіkе standard slot machines аllоw уоu tо gеt аn edge оvеr thе casino bу playing correctly, уоu саn thеrеfоrе increase уоur chances оf winning іf уоu play correctly. If аll thе video poker slot machine games Jokers Wild іѕ arguably оnе оf thе mоѕt fun. Bеlоw wе wіll lооk аt thе rules аnd hоw уоu саn win.

An easy аnd fun introduction: Continue Reading

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Millennials and the Future of Canadian Casinos

Millennials and the Future of Canadian Casinos

Online casino is a growing industry in Canada but changes in how players like to consume their games (and the type of games they like to play) could dictate the overall direction brands like William Hill and Betway develop in over the next few decades. There’s already some evidence to suggest that slot machines, in particular, are dying out. Continue Reading

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10 things that will define video games in the future

10 things that will define video games in the future

Video games recently overtook music and movies as the world’s most popular pastime. So if you’re looking to avoid human contact, then prepare yourself for solitary gaming confinement with these thought-provoking gaming predictions.

 

Increased realism Continue Reading

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The Internet is Obsessing over the Trailer for Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke

The Internet is Obsessing over the Trailer for Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke

Madonna may be pushing 60 years old, but that hasn’t stopped her showing yet again that she really can make a splash in the headlines!

The American singer-songwriter is probably best known for the way she’s managed to reinvent herself over the past 30 years of her career and her latest publicity drive is definitely no exception.

Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke Trailer goes Viral

Madonna is appearing on Wednesday night TV’s The Late Late Show, presented by Gavin and Stacey star James Corden, doing a rather impressive Carpool Karaoke segment, and the teaser has sent tongues wagging for all the right (and wrong!) reasons. At the time of writing, it’s #16 on the list of Trending YouTube videos. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

Android versus iPhone: Let’s Agree to Disagree

Android versus iPhone: Let’s Agree to Disagree

The Android versus iPhone debate has been persistent ever since the top selling smartphones became contenders. As with many types of technology, there are hardcore brand supporters who will not and cannot be persuaded to try something different. So, while you may already have your mind set on whether or not you will be a lifelong Android or iPhone user, it’s diplomatic to say that we can all agree to disagree; both phones have a lot of great qualities. Continue Reading

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Is Craig Wright Really Satoshi Nakamoto?

Is Craig Wright Really Satoshi Nakamoto?

Earlier this year is seemed that a great mystery had been solved and we could finally put a name to the face of Satoshi Nakamoto. Satoshi Nakamoto is the name used by the unknown person or persons who designed and created bitcoin. Although Nakamoto has claimed to be a man living in Japan, supposition has fallen on a number of computer scientists from the U.S. and Europe as the real Nakamoto. When an Australian academic and entrepreneur named Craig Wright, announced himself as Nakamoto it seemed to be the end of the manhunt, but, over the following days, the proof he offered was torn apart and Wright has since retired from public view before his claims could be satisfactorily proved or disproved. Continue Reading

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Posted in Top Stories1 Comment

What’s Next for Wearables?

What’s Next for Wearables?

It’s probably fair to say that wearable technology hasn’t quite taken off in the way Samsung and Apple might have hoped. The Apple Watch, for example, was called “confusing” by The Guardian upon its initial release in 2015 while Samsung’s attempts at cracking the niche are approaching double figures. Continue Reading

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

The Socialist Shirkers Party

The Socialist Shirkers Party

NOTE FROM WALLACE: 

Thanks to M.C. Newberry for permitting republication of his poem as a guest post here at Glossy News!

***

You’ll find them among most types of mob

With shuttered mind and open gob.

You’d be forgiven for wondering what they do for a living

When they prefer to be taking rather than giving. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

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