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Batshit Woo Peddler John Kerry Declares War on Lord Xenu

Batshit Woo Peddler John Kerry Declares War on Lord Xenu

John Kerry is a man of the world, but now his flip-flopping has soared astronomically, to the point where it’s on a genuinely cosmic scale.

Yes: no longer content with threatening the leaders of weak, divided countries in the Middle East with abject destruction, Kerry is turning his achingly dynamic turrets on a higher target:

Lord Xenu!

So, let’s see where we go with this one.

I guess, from one perspective, it’s perfectly true to say that Lord Xenu is an absolutely batshit loony idea dreamed up by a freaking wackjob-catastrophe failed cosmic Popeye wannabe with a fucking idiotic sailor’s hat that belongs on a rejected video-only episode of Ron Jeremy and His Cosmic Ass-Riggers! So why should we give a rat’s ass about what these ridiculous kooky-cluster-fuckers even think about us, anyway?

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Posted in War Zone, World News1 Comment

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

Time to look back at an old piece of mine, and think about whether it’s just all about ‘way back then.’

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201505110348/london-riots-who-are-the-real-orwellians/

In scenes mirroring the previous general election, raving hordes of self-righteous middle-class career decents have taken to the streets to protest the “Orwellian” hung parliament. Apparently the number of people who were eligible to vote, and who didn’t, is in the ten percents, at least! Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

Empire Danger! High Bombers! (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six!)

Empire Danger! High Bombers! (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six!)

Firebombs in Baghdad!

Fire in the Middle East!

 

Firebombs in Damascus!

Fire rages from the horny beast!

 

Don’t you want to know how to set kids on fire?

It’s my desire, I’m a Tory liar! Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward famously sang ‘Don’t Let’s be Beastly to the Germans!’ As always, the dour and humorless were not impressed.

Yeah, Daily Mail link… I know! How things change in a few decades! Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Speaking Truth to Power: The Intercept is Defending Boehmermann’s Freedom with Full Consistency

Speaking Truth to Power: The Intercept is Defending Boehmermann’s Freedom with Full Consistency

In the past, I have been heavily critical of The Intercept, and of Glenn Greenwald’s stance on the Charlie Hebdo martyrs. However, I have noticed a pattern developing recently.

First of all, upon the renewal of the fatwa against Salman Rushdie (essentially a glorified hitman contract from God!), The Intercept did not blame Rushdie for ‘provoking’ his critics. I have searched and searched; and as far as I can tell, there is no victim-blaming towards Rushdie in that publication.

This doesn’t appear to be a one-off, either. More recently, The Intercept has not only taken the consistent anti-censorship stance which it, and certainly Glenn Greenwald in particular, are renowned for supporting.

No, indeed! Rather, The Intercept’ has gone further: in its recent reporting on the Boehmermann affair, the stance of The Intercept is discernibly pro-speech, and not merely anti-censorship. (When I say ‘pro-speech,’ I mean something over and above anti-censorship per se, something transcending a merely legalistic approach. For example, ‘I’m all for freedom of speech, but…’ would be a classic example of anti-censorship which is not consistently pro-speech).

Yes: consider these three excellent, pro-liberty articles from The Intercept:

https://theintercept.com/2016/04/01/german-television-pulls-satire-mocking-turkeys-erdogan/

https://theintercept.com/2016/04/15/germany-repeal-dumb-law-first-using-prosecute-comic-insulting-erdogan/

https://theintercept.com/2016/04/12/germany-charge-comic-insulting-turkeys-president/

I once assumed that The Intercept and its writers, would never manage to get much further than mere anti-censorship.

I was wrong. They are doing the right thing, and they deserve credit; including the editor, Glenn Greenwald.

There is nothing in this world that could bring me to change my own stance on Charlie Hebdo, and to be onesidedly critical of the magazine (short of a severe moral deterioration in the magazine itself!) But I am certainly warming to The Intercept right now, albeit to a very limited degree; I am not willing to be let down my guard, nor to lavish unqualified praise upon them (nor upon any media outlet). However that may be, isn’t it fairly clear to see that they are taking a strongly anti-censorship and pro-speech stance at this current time?

I will be interested to see whether, in future, The Intercept maintains this strongly pro-speech stance, or will slip back into mere anti-censorship. Let’s hope it all goes well!

 

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Youtube Gets Snarky with More Videos: ‘Sorry if You Were Offended!’ Plus Ebook Update… (2/2)

Youtube Gets Snarky with More Videos: ‘Sorry if You Were Offended!’ Plus Ebook Update… (2/2)

Finally, two more videos (unless you’ve already checked them out. If not, why not?!)

5. Newt Gingrich Makes Cute-Ass Comeback as Cuddly Economy-Saver ^______6

Wuh-HOOOOOOO! Nyyyyewt! Told ya so! Hee-heeeeeeeee!

6. The Spectator’s ‘Offensive’ Poetry Competition

***

Here is some news about my Amazon ebooks too!

Graveyard of the Pieties is now cheaper than before: it should be 99 cents, 99 pence, and the equivalent in the next 24/48 hours at the very latest!

http://www.amazon.com/Graveyard-Pieties-Snapshots-Patriarchal-Conceits-ebook/dp/B01DOQC9WS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1461443661&sr=8-1&keywords=graveyard+of+the+pieties

Oh, and one last reminder: my collection of anti-hard right, anti-UKIP stories is finally out! Hope it was worth the wait.  Poor Tarquin Binnett is always getting no-platformed, so why not show the lad some love! ^______________^#

http://www.amazon.com/Tarquin-Binnetts-Englishmans-Common-Jamboree-ebook/dp/B01E4KJA5M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1461443754&sr=8-1&keywords=tarquin+binnett

Foaming the Optics remains unchanged in price; and finally, my non-Amazon ebooks have picked up a little recently

Further Youtube & ebook reading:

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201604161205/ebook-update-12-wallace-runnymede-satire-catastrophes/

Amazon Ebooks

http://glossynews.com/entertainment/internet/201604210604/three-more-satire-audio-podcasts-dalai-lama-evil-vatican-regime-god-versus-sideboobniks/

 

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Podcasts, Top Stories0 Comments

Cruz & Khameini Gush: ‘End Big Privacy, Before You Get What’s Comin’ To Ya!’

Cruz & Khameini Gush: ‘End Big Privacy, Before You Get What’s Comin’ To Ya!’

Ted Cruz has recently given stuck it to the man over our trembling, weak-kneed bending over for the nefarious forces of Big Privacy.

His Most Exalted More True-Believe-ier Than Trumpness flashily remarks:

The war on surveillance is motivated purely by an ignoble politics of envy. The fact is, the guys we have monitoring your webcams have bigger dicks than you do; I think we can just take that one as given!

So if you want to squirm and slide around, or dick around (I hardly think it!), or even just go on a full-blown blazing rampage, and create some disreputable orgy of counter-conservative kiss-ass to your enemies, then be my guest! I can take it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Germany’s Humorless Strong Leader Hits the Bunker

Germany’s Humorless Strong Leader Hits the Bunker

Angela Merkel isn’t having such a good time right now; the not-so-Iron Chancellor’s craven capitulation to Erdogan looks like it may backfire.

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/angela-merkel-s-fawning-over-erdogan-will-put-the-turkish-president-not-jan-b-hmermann-in-the-dock-a6988076.html

The article above refers to a previous precedent by the European Court of Human Rights as follows: Continue Reading

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Posted in Top Stories, World News0 Comments

Ebook Update 1/2: Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes

Ebook Update 1/2: Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes

My revision of #1 and #2 of Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes (I Shouldn’t Do God & Football Frikkups) are now through on all outlets! In addition, volumes #3 and #4 (I Still Shouldn’t Do God & Differently Humored) are now available too!

All four ebooks are free, and #4 is fairly timely for Autism Month, April 2016. It is disability-themed. #1 & #3 are religious satire, and #2 is football/soccer themed.

These ebooks are all available on Barnes & Noble, Apple iBooks, Kobo, Scribd, Page Foundry, Tolino, & 24 Symbols. Sadly not Amazon; but visit this very same site, Glossy News, in an hour from now; and you will see information about my recent range of Amazon ebooks!

Synopses for Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes: Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Top Stories0 Comments

Devastating Campaign Trail Interview: Hillary ‘Misspeaks’ Over Links to Wall Street

Devastating Campaign Trail Interview: Hillary ‘Misspeaks’ Over Links to Wall Street

Hillary Clinton is renowned for her talents in the highly competitive artistic fields of evasive and equivocal rhetoricmongering. How did she react recently when I grilled her about her ties to Wall Street?

Wall Street? Uh, excuse me, but we’re going to have to define our terms here. [Aside]: And by ‘we,’ I mean ‘me…’ ohhh, shit! It’s not really working this time, is it??

You know, all these big banks you are receiving money from?

Well, first of all, how do you define ‘big?’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

Satirical Fiction & Poetry Updates: New Ebook Just Launched! (2/2)

Satirical Fiction & Poetry Updates: New Ebook Just Launched! (2/2)

Just an hour ago, I updated you on my new Youtube account, and the removal of the privacy settings that I carelessly didn’t know about!

I also discussed recent positive developments in my free ebooks series Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes, as serialized on one of my websites, Satire Catastrophes.

And, of course, my decision to start publishing ebooks on Amazon was big news!

On 25 April, the Gang of Sneers series of Amazon ebooks will begin. The first volume features loathsome red-top hack Jackie Smack, and the cuddly and genially rabid UKIP bigot, Tarquin Binnett!

But why wait until then? You can already begin pre-ordering Tarquin Binnett’s Sound Englishman’s Common Sense Jamboree from Amazon! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets Tubes, Top Stories0 Comments

US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else!”

US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else!”

WASHINGTON – U.S. State Department spokesman Milo Minderbinder announced today that ISIS must sign the TTIP [Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership] treaty by year’s end “or else we will retaliate with extreme prejudice. All options are on the table!”
“Terrorist organizations that control substantial assets, such as oil, should not be exempt from TTIP just because they are not recognized nation-states. TTIP is about promoting free trade, a goal that I’m sure that terrorists who specialize in decapitation videos can appreciate,” Minderbinder stated. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Unanticipated Leak from Westminster Porn Star Generating Machine (Messy!)

Unanticipated Leak from Westminster Porn Star Generating Machine (Messy!)

You ever wonder what your politicians get up to when your back is turned? Don’t be on edge any longer! These hard-working, rugged, men of the people always have their eye out for a new opportunity, and they never say no to an expedient and enticing opportunity for engaging more intimately with their beloved constituents and members.

***

The Wet-Dream Team: Having Great Britain’s Back and Making England Big Again!

Scameron Bliss

Foxy Liam

Major League Johnny

Gorgeous Gideon

Haguey-Bums 29 Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Dear American Refugees, Welcome to Canada

Dear American Refugees, Welcome to Canada

Greetings, American Refugees,

On behalf of the people of Canada, we would like to welcome you to our country. We hope you’ll enjoy your stay. We’re starting to worry about your nation’s apparent complete psychological breakdown. You were doing so well these past eight years with President Obama.

He seemed like an awfully nice fellow. We’re not really sure what has caused your country to go off the rails, but as we’ve watched your presidential election primary coverage, it appears millions of your fellow Americans have gone utterly bonkers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories2 Comments

The Vast ‘Neoliberal’ Conspiracy… Is the Current Debate Too Limited?

The Vast ‘Neoliberal’ Conspiracy… Is the Current Debate Too Limited?

Is it it possible to confirm or deny being a #neoliberal, if the term is infinitely elastic?

Was Stalin a #stateneoliberal, just like he was a #statecapitalist?

Will the end of #capitalism be the end of #neoliberalism, or is the end of #neoliberalism the end of #capitalism?

If Pol Pot was a #fakesocialist, and hence a #fakeanticapitalist, was he also a #fakeantineoliberal?

If #capitalism invented nationalism and militarism, did #neoliberalism also invent nationalism and militarism?

If so, how did the world manage to fall from its Edenic glory and pristine state into #thevastneoliberalconspiracy?

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Posted in Politics, Society0 Comments

‘Dr’ David Duke Crashes & Burns: Israeli Literature Conference!

‘Dr’ David Duke Crashes & Burns: Israeli Literature Conference!

Semantic grand wizard, uh sorry, semantic wizard and notorious antisemite David Duke is known primarily as a peddler of hate. Past comments on ‘Jew York City,’ ‘the unacceptably unaccountable Jew York Times Journalistic-Industrial-Complex,’ and ‘SSSSSSuspiciously-SSSSSScribed Jew Hampshire polling cards’ have made clear he is a hate preacher. But more recently, he has tried to shed this unfortunate stigma by presenting himself as an intellectual.

At the recent achingly fashionable and cutting-edge ‘Nobodaddy’s Nouveau Directions in William Blakery’ Conference in Jerusalem, Duke hyper-theoreticized as follows:

Hey everybody. You can see I’m not boycotting your university; so I am obviously totally NOT like all those other guys. Right?!

 Oo! ‘All those other guys!’ Sounded kinda creepy, huh? It’s sort of vague and equivocal and indeterminate isn’t it?

 In fact, not unlike William Blake himself. I kinda have a lot of common with this guy.

Amid a gathering storm of cagey-professorial heckling, Duke pronounced: Continue Reading

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