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CNN to Issue Trigger Warnings before Trump Appearances

CNN to Issue Trigger Warnings before Trump Appearances

NEW YORK – CNN today announced its new policy of issuing trigger warnings before showing the face of President Donald Trump to viewing audiences.

“We know the mere mention of President’s Trump name or the sight of his face is enough to trigger serious emotional distress or even seizures in a large part of our viewing audience,” said Wolf Blitzer of CNN. “So we believe that this is an appropriate policy for our time. Families with children will really appreciate this warning, as the mere sight of Trump reportedly makes many babies, small infants, and millennials cry uncontrollably.”

CNN has estimated that millions of viewers have turned off CNN because of their sheer terror that Trump may appear on their screens and further traumatize them with his blunt language, harsh policies, and brutish lack of diplomatic tact.

“Just as we issue warnings before showing bloody, mangled corpses after mass murders or terrorist attacks, so we will issue warnings before showing the face of Donald J. Trump or mentioning his name.”

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Trump blames Alt Left for Cross Dressed Statues

Trump blames Alt Left for Cross Dressed Statues

An angry and mentally battered President Trump condemned the Alt-Left for vandalizing Confederate Statues in several cities overnight; including dressing one up in a pink bra and layered skirt. Continue Reading

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Donald Trump Blames ‘Divisive Alt-Left Troublemakers’ for Nazi Atrocities

Donald Trump Blames ‘Divisive Alt-Left Troublemakers’ for Nazi Atrocities

Hot on the heels of his recent condemnation of the Alt-Left’s perceived role in Charlottesville, crossed-dressed statues and (via Comrade Saruman) the great Minas Tirith massacre in Tolkien’s equally imaginary fantasy fairyland of Gondor…

The Donald is now playing a time-traveling role.

This time, he has advocated a less divisive and partisan stance on the atrocities committed by Nazi soldiers in World War II, as well as the unspeakable horror of the gas chambers. Continue Reading

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Racism? Bourgeois, All Too Bourgeois

Racism? Bourgeois, All Too Bourgeois

Middle class racism is not one whit less prevalent or less pernicious than working class racism.
It is merely more subtle, more decent, more refined, more… respectable.
Working class racists will say ‘Bloody Pakis coming here, taking our jobs, raping our women.’
Middle class racists will say ‘International Community will not bow to an ungovernable horde of natives killing their own ppl!’
In nuce: racism isn’t just racism. Who gets to be a racist, & not be held accountable, is a VERY interesting question.
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Trudeau Announces Creepy Public Register of Campus Microaggression Perps

Trudeau Announces Creepy Public Register of Campus Microaggression Perps

Currently, an evil tide of hate is sweeping Canadian campuses.

Intrusive and abusive questions and comments like ‘Where do you come from,’ ‘What language do you speak,’ and ‘You have really beautiful hair, you know’ have made the lives of students in Canada a living hell. Continue Reading

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Is There a Historical Muhammad? Let’s Not Be Dismissive of Progressive Muslims!

Is There a Historical Muhammad? Let’s Not Be Dismissive of Progressive Muslims!

Regardless of my edgy satire on Islam and Islamism, and my love for Charlie Hebdo, I actually have no opinion on the historical Muhammad. Continue Reading

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Britain’s NHS Offers Free Racial Reassignment Surgery to Transracial Community

Britain’s NHS Offers Free Racial Reassignment Surgery to Transracial Community

Following the pioneering path charted by Rachel Dolezal, the UK’s Transracial Community are finally emerging from the shadows, into the full light of day.

The steadily-growing and increasingly vocal Transracial lobby in the UK are now making full-throated demands for their rights.

Transracialism is a popular term for what scientists call RAD, or ‘Racial Assignation Dysphoria.’ Continue Reading

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Spinetingling Quotes: Literal or Figurative?

Spinetingling Quotes: Literal or Figurative?

‘Spine-tingling’ is a great phrase, that can either be a metaphor, or a literal phrase.

But do any of you know of sayings that genuinely send a tingle down your spine? Continue Reading

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Liberals accused of Insensitivity for mocking Mentally-Disordered President Trump

Liberals accused of Insensitivity for mocking Mentally-Disordered President Trump

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Martha Mollycoddle, the mother of a man diagnosed as a psychopath and currently undergoing treatment in a hospital for the criminally insane, has begun a campaign to shame liberals and Democrats for mocking President Trump as a result of his similar mental disorder.

“For all his chaos and irrationality and amorality, the real shame isn’t Trump,” she said. “It’s the Democrats who pretend to be warriors for social justice, who rail against cyber bullies and cut a man’s testicles off if he brushes up against a woman in the workplace. But then as soon as they think they’re free and clear to attack a severely mentally ill individual, they burry him beneath a thousand avalanches of insults and put-downs, and bitter cartoons and parodies at his expense.
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Random Thoughts (I): Hitler and the Nazis

Random Thoughts (I): Hitler and the Nazis

The Chinese writer Lu Xun used to write essays called ‘Random Thoughts,’ although random is also translatable as ‘miscellaneous.’
This is quite a good thing to do. Here are a few thoughts which are only loosely bound together; they do, however, center around a few important themes. Continue Reading

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Whose Side Are You On, Boys? An Uncomfortable Challenge

Whose Side Are You On, Boys? An Uncomfortable Challenge

I once commented on the Liberal Democrats Facebook page: Continue Reading

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A Modest Proposal: On the Arbitrary Character of Speech Laws

A Modest Proposal: On the Arbitrary Character of Speech Laws

Offense is both subjective and objective.
Harassment is both subjective and objective. Continue Reading

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God praised for outfitting Donald Trump with Self-Destruct Button

God praised for outfitting Donald Trump with Self-Destruct Button

Dateline: LOS ANGELES—Thousands of Americans, who resist Donald Trump’s presidency on the grounds that he is literally a psychopath, have formed a religious group calling for praise of God for supplying the psychopath Donald Trump with a self-destruct button.

The group is called Small Mercies and was founded in Los Angeles, by Joey Garbanzo. Members of the group call themselves The Thankful, thus fulfilling the phrase, being “thankful for small mercies.”
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