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The News (Really) Bytes – June 2015

The News (Really) Bytes – June 2015

Jeb Bush announces candidacy for President – The head political office of the U.S. is now going back to the Bush Leagues.

Rachel Dolezal, a white person, pretended to be black and became head of the Spokane Washington NAACP and now has stepped down making true the statement “Once you go black you hate to go back”.

Hurricane Bill threatens the Texas coast. Hurricane Rick Perry threatens the entire country.

The Jurassic World movie reboot sets record for opening week for a movie – who ever knew dinosaurs could reincarnate? Continue Reading

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Fox News Forge Anti-Labour Party Screed (1/2)

Fox News Forge Anti-Labour Party Screed (1/2)

Fox News has recently directed an audacious and highly compassionate act of humanitarian interventionism towards the UK.

Yes; they have tried to (further?) discredit the Labour Party by concocting a document by Harold Wilson that appears to demonize his own party.

At first I thought they were attempting to deal the final coup-de-grace to an ailing social-democratic party that was not sufficiently politically correct for the Fox party line.

But then I realise that I had merely ended inadvertently concocting yet another far-left liberal media conspiracy theory. Actually, they were just being “fair and balanced.” Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unimaginable Happened – Part 7 – the Iraq Factor

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unimaginable Happened – Part 7 – the Iraq Factor

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unimaginable Happened – Part 7 – The Iraq Factor
(A serial book excerpt)
After President Bush is killed when Flight 93 strikes the White House on 9/11, Vice President Cheney ascends to the throne. Things begin to change quite radically:

READ THEM HERE: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6.
– – – – – – – – – – – – –

Part 7 – The Iraq Factor

McGurty was ushered into the office. Cheney stood up to meet him. Continue Reading

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Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (2/2)

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (2/2)

Last time, I acknowledged that all forms of prejudice are complex, and cannot be seen as corresponding one-to-one with each other.

However, while making these qualifications, I also took the risk of drawing an analogy between racism and sexism.

And as is well known, racism and sexism are two forms of prejudice and hatred that motivated Dylan Roof’s murder of nine innocent people in Charleston. Continue Reading

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Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (1/2)

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (1/2)

One look at the US media, including the comments sections, will show you that something disturbing is happening.

Something which has also been happening in many other countries for a long, long time.

I speak of an abstract “humanity-centred” moralism that only half-condemns racially-motivated crimes. Continue Reading

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Governor Haley Proposes Replacing Confederate Flag with Dukes of Hazzard Flag

Governor Haley Proposes Replacing Confederate Flag with Dukes of Hazzard Flag

Republican Governor Nikki Haley called for the removal of the Confederate flag in the capital of South Carolina Monday, after pressure from many who called the flag racist and divisive.

The pressure was mounting, after a white supremacist opened fire on an historic church in Charleston, killing nine black people.

Governor Haley earlier had defended the flag as a symbol of Southern pride and history, but as a compromise to remove it, she has proposed replacing it with another symbol of Southern pride, the flag from the 1970’s-80’s show, The Dukes of Hazzard. Continue Reading

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Alex Salmond: “PC Bigots Don’t Understand this here Culture of Mine.”

Alex Salmond: “PC Bigots Don’t Understand this here Culture of Mine.”

Widely respected political hipster and relentlessly-resentless SNP politician Alex Salmond has recently performed a valiant act of radical political performance theatre, with his “behave yourself, woman!”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-politics/11653578/Alex-Salmond-must-urgently-apologise-for-his-unacceptable-sexism.html Continue Reading

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U.S. Steps Up Iraq’s Military Training by Attaching American Heads to Iraqi Bodies

U.S. Steps Up Iraq’s Military Training by Attaching American Heads to Iraqi Bodies

Dateline: ARLINGTON COUNTY—American military officials order surgical attachment of American soldiers’ heads to the bodies of Iraqi soldiers to improve Iraq’s military training.

Prior efforts to train democratic Iraq’s military have been stymied. Instead of fighting Islamic State insurgents, Iraq’s soldiers became infamous for fleeing the battlefield, allowing waves of IS fighters to control key sectors of Iraq.

“The problem,” says U.S. General Buttercup, “was the training that had already been done not just in Iraq but throughout the Middle East. Those folks had trained for decades to be tribal theocrats, to be Sunni, Shia, and so on. Their traditions go back many centuries.

“For example, IS fighters are Sunni and most of Northern and Northwestern Iraq is also Sunni. Iraq’s government is dominated now by Shias, so the Sunni soldiers and tribesmen don’t want to fight fellow Sunnis. Nor do they want to fight for their Shia leaders.”

“It’s a case of a clash of indoctrinations,” says an American military psychologist. “Muslim sectarianism is deep-seated, because the Middle Eastern countries are tribal, meaning that from a very early age Muslims are taught to identify with only a subset of Muslims, not to mention other humans. That’s the start of their extensive training.

“Now Americans want to retrain Iraq’s soldiers’ to be liberal humanists, to see past their tribal and religious allegiances. Alas, each soldier has only one brain. American training techniques are unparalleled, but no matter how hard you train a brain that’s already been thoroughly trained to adhere to a vastly different mindset, you’ll run out of room in that brain to store your memes and mores.”

General Buttercup concurs with that analysis. “I told President Obama from the start,” says Buttercup. “We’ve got to give those already-trained Iraqis a second brain. Their brains were full of Muslim nonsense before Bush had invaded Iraq. We spent a decade and hundreds of millions of dollars training Iraq’s military to fight for Western values and interests. But how could even all of that overcome centuries of Middle Eastern history and tradition?

“It’s like flapping your arms to see if they’ll fly. No, it took millions of years of evolution to get them to work like arms rather than wings. You’re not going to overcome that anytime soon. But what if you could add wings to the human form? That’s what planes are for.”

For budgetary reasons, President Obama selected brains that have already been trained at world-renowned military bases in the United States. According to military sources, these soldiers’ sacrifice is part of the U.S. effort to win hearts and minds in the region.

“Their minds are opposed to ours,” says General Buttercup. “They’re Muslims and we’re Christians. They’re used to theocracies and dictatorships. We love our political and economic liberties. What we need is a meeting of minds, so we’re attaching hundreds of American military heads to Iraqi bodies.”

Instead of undoing Muslim and tribal indoctrinations, which would require beheading the Iraqis, the hope is that the new heads will compensate for the un-American worldview.

“We don’t do beheading. It’s just not in our playbook,” says Buttercup. “If we could train the Iraqis to be American by beheading them, believe me I’d be all for it. But I can’t go against my training.”

“No one trains harder than us,” says USMC Staff Sergeant Kyle Killsalot. “You just wouldn’t believe how hard I trained. If you asked my opinion of whether I approve of having my head surgically attached to an Iraqi soldier’s body, you wouldn’t get it. I have no independent opinions since I serve my military collective, my brothers in arms. Believe me, I’ll whip that Iraqi into shape and there will be no more running from insurgents. If he tries to run I’ll turn my head and spit in his eye.”

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Posted in Making Headlines, War Zone4 Comments

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened -Part 6

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened -Part 6

9/12/2001
THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED
Part 6
(A serial book excerpt)

In previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

READ THEM HERE: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Serious Commentary2 Comments

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (1/2)

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (1/2)

We are the dead.

But we still speak.

And condemn.

And we speak and condemn regarding the report on US government’s (or if you prefer, “International Community’s”) footshuffling regarding the torture of the enemies du jour (you know, brown, Muslim, Middle-Eastern, whatever)… Continue Reading

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Government Chemtrail Program Deemed a Success

Government Chemtrail Program Deemed a Success

US Government officials declared today that their government sponsored Chemtrail program, which is designed to make people more submissive to government authority, is a total success.

“People are more submissive now than at any time in history”, proudly declared US Defense Secretary Ashton Carter. “Voter turnout is down to 38%, fewer people are signing petitions or staging demonstrations and apathy reigns throughout the country! Our Chemtrail program has been a resounding success!”

Carter stated that the chemtrails contain aluminum nanoparticles and other chemicals that interact with the human brain causing people to be more submissive, more apathetic and generate an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. This will be helpful to military authorities when martial law is declared.

“On the downside we are seeing more people with Alzheimer’s, cognitive dysfunction, Parkinson’s, ALS and other diseases. But for the sake of a free and happy America it’s worth it!” Carter stated.

Carter stated that Operation Jade Helm 15 is being carried out in Texas and other states to little resistance. Jade Helm 15 is the largest domestic military training “exercise” in United States history.

Joint Chief of Staff Chairman General Martin Dempsey praised the program. “Back in the 60s we had people smoking dope, having sex and protesting the war in Vietnam. With the chemtrail program we see none of that. We can carry out our formerly covert activities in the open and nobody gives a shit!”

Most people interviewed seemed to care little about the chemtrail program. “Yeah, no big whoop”, said NYC stockbroker Josh Carbonetti.

“I got better things to worry about”, said Brooklyn physics professor Peter Gruber.

“Does my hair look okay?” asked LA consultant Sheila Weinberg.

There is much more to this story but I have lost interest in writing any more.

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 5

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 5

9/12/2001, THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED – Part 5 (A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is taken to a secured location for protection.

From there he oversees the demolition of what remains of the Twin Towers.

Part 5

The first estimates were 5,000 dead at the Twin Towers, 400 at the Pentagon and 34 at the White House. The Twin Towers they might never know the exact number given how many visitors and tourists were there at the fateful moments.

Head companies located therein were already sending the FBI their personnel files of who was working that day. Police phone lines were jammed with worried relatives asking about their kin who worked there.

It was already known that a number of emergency personnel, especially firemen, had been crushed when the towers collapsed. The intentional demolishing of the towers would be kept a top secret.

There would be too much misunderstanding of a necessary action. Large segments of the populace would definitely see it the wrong way.

It could probably not be hidden forever, but hopefully would hold for a while until some order was restored.

The combined effort of the CIA and the FBI were already coming up with a profile of suspects on the fated planes. A disturbingly high number of Saudi Arabian nationals were on all the flights.

That alone was enough of an answer for many. It was probably an Islamic terrorist attack. Suspicions were also thrown in the direction of Saddam Hussein’s corner, but it was doubted that he would do such a low budget form of revenge and with so many planes.

It was not his style. Already conspiracy theorists were having a field day with the aggressors being everything from Irish separatists to the Vatican.

More serious and studied minds put their feelers out towards domestic saboteur possibilities, Libya’s President Gaddafi, the Red Army and Palestinian vengeance. Of those four, only the Palestinian idea held any real likelihood.

But the real, the looming, the almost obvious suspicion was the heart of the Mideast discontentment- Al Queda or any one of the dozens of wanna-be terrorist groups who wished to be taken seriously and vented aggravations both real and imagined against the United States and Western society in general.

The entire scope of the U.S. Intelligence community was working on the solution.

The East wing was made the center of operations for the White House. Little could be salvaged from the Oval Office. What instruments were lost there had been quickly replaced.

The Lincoln Bedroom was now the substitute for the Oval Office. The great Emancipators bed had been pushed to a corner and a rather ordinary oak desk was the subsistence for Bush’s antique one.

Of course there had been a big to-do about this in the newspapers with numerous photos of Cheney taken while working. The photos were always accompanied by another photo of the wreckage of the West Wing for psychological impact.

A large conference table had also been maneuvered into the the room. Today it would be well used for this would be the first Cabinet meeting of President Cheney’s leadership.

Cheney kept the meeting of the first Cabinet meeting to the point. Everyone was on edge anyway because of the bombing and the unexpected changes it brought about. One thing he could count on was they were all instep with him.

They were Bush’s choices. A few of them would be slowly moved out. They had worked well with the hick from Texas, but Cheney was going to have to be Wyoming with them, and a couple would not make that cut.

He wanted a sleek machine. One that didn’t give him “No.” for an answer. One that did as he ordered. That was one thing he picked up from the military that he ruled but did not serve. Giving orders and expecting them obeyed.

“The first order of business will be to put a tab on every damn Muslim in this country. I don’t care if he is a babe just getting delivered, they need to be watched.

“We will keep most of it secret, but I am sure the liberals will come up with some lovey-dovey reason for being touchy feely with them. We cannot put up with that BS. We need to immediately round up anyone who is even a little suspicious. This goes for their teenagers too.

“We don’t want them passing through the sieve only to light a fire under our beds the next morning. We don’t want concentration camps like we did for the Japanese in WWII, but we want as close to that as we can come and get away with it.”

“The eggs who show any real suspicion we will hold in one maximum prison. I am thinking of ADX in Colorado. It will be easy to watch them there. If they escape they’ll stick out like sore thumbs.” He gave his own half-joke a half smile. The crowd laughed nervously at it.

“We will keep the whole affair as secret as we can, which of course is impossible. But right now we have the worlds’ sympathy. The only ones that will strongly object are the other Muslim countries and, of course Russia and maybe the Mainland Chinese just to be pain in the asses.

“Any European country with a sizable Muslim population- Germany, England, France, will be nervous too and back us up. And they are the ones who matter. But we will say we are doing it to protect them from retaliatory violence. We could probably even get away with saying we were doing it to shield them from the bad Muslims. “

“This is also a great chance to grab as much power as we can. Everybody is behind us either out of anger at what happened or fear of what could happen. We’ve got to act fast to line up things in our favor as much as possible before the feeling ebbs.

“Even the Democrats for God’s sake are stiff as boards. We yell boo and they’ll jump a foot. We’ve got the citizens by the balls if we grab them right.”

Cheney soaked in their enthusiastic applause when he finished. He was especially pleased that there was not an once of rebuttal against anything he had said.

“McGurty,” Cheney reached out and grabbed his arm before he got too far away, “I need to talk to you for a moment.”

He could see that the new head man was serious. He gave him his full attention.

“This is confidential. Only you and me are talking, OK?”

“Got it.” It made him nervous, but long political experience gave him a poker face to cover all his range of emotions, especially fear.

“I’m going to need to get rid of Hastert.” He stopped to let this sink in. It looked like it came to James as a surprise, but not as a shock. “He’s not going to work for me. I need someone with a little more spunk. I don’t want a VP who is just going to sit on his hands.”

‘Who do you want for this?” asked James.

“I want Tom DeLay. He has the sort of brashness that I will need. I need someone who can be a plow and not a picnicker.”

“That will take some doing. It would be easier if Hastert had done something we could throw mud at. Is there anything?”

“Nothing that would make it stick. I think the conservatives would go with us just to have a strong candidate.”

“We sill have to move quick before Hastert gets too cemented into his job.”

“Let’s get moving on it then. I want DeLay in the White House as quickly as we can.”

“Yes sir. I’ll get on it.”

Cheney went on his busy was, leaving McGurty standing there to figure out exactly how he was going to pull this one off.

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FIFA Joins Forces with ISIS: “It’s a Perfect Match”

FIFA Joins Forces with ISIS: “It’s a Perfect Match”

FIFA president Sepp Blatter insists that he’s not using a fake name, but he also swears his sworn alliance to ISIS is likewise legitimate.

FIFA and ISIS. One is a ruthless, soulless dictatorship that destroys everything in its path and the other is an Islamic terrorist organization. Continue Reading

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Posted in Sports Scandals, War Zone3 Comments

How Unemployment Really Works

How Unemployment Really Works

Derek in Accounts Payable was an excitable type, but only to a certain extent.

When he rounded the corner to speak to Jason, his boss, colleague and friend he was more excited than normal.

The fact that he kept his voice low to avoid others hearing was indicative that it was also something serious.

“I’ve got it Jason! It just came out of the blue and punched me in the eye!”

“What is it?” asked Jason noncommittally. He had been presented with many of Derek’s ‘ideas’ before and knew to take them with a grain of salt.

“It’s the answer to the unemployment crisis. It is so simple I can’t believe no one else thought of it before!”

Derek’s mouth corners dropped an imperceptive millimeter downward. “This is going to be a doozy.” he thought.

“Here it is in a nutshell,” Derek stated, “We have too many people on unemployment because of the recession. We don’t have enough funds to keep paying them off forever.

“And we have to make sure that the Unemployment Office itself doesn’t get downsized or closed so that we lose our higher than normal wages and good benefits that are paid for by the earnings of the normal workers.

“So what we do is make it so difficult to get on unemployment and so time consuming to deal with or so poorly paid out that the people applying for it either starve to death from low payments, go insane filling out forms and dealing with technicalities or give up in frustration and becomes homeless or kill themselves.

“It’s great! No matter what we come out on top and intact! What do you think?”

Jason was quiet for a moment, no emotion showing on his face. Suddenly he jumped up inspired.

“That’s a great idea Derek! Let’s put it into operation immediately! In fact, I’m going to email it to all the other State unemployment offices so they can do the same. Our jobs are saved! Hurray!” He then ran off down the hall to use the fax machine.

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part  4

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 4

9/12/2001 THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED (A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments –
After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned,
Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is taken to a secured location for protection.
From there he overseas the demolition of what remains of the Twin Towers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics2 Comments

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 3

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 3

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened

Prelude- On 9/11/2001 Flight 93 crashes into the White House as was originally planned. Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is taken to a secured location for protection.
– – – – – – – – – –

PART 3

The streets were quieting down. Traffic was a fraction of what it normally was. There was still the noise of everyday city life, but it was lessened, muted.

An apprehension lay in the air. The sky suddenly seemed much bigger now that one knew death could fly down from it. For the first time in two centuries a major attack had been launched on the bedrock of America and it had left major fractures in it. Continue Reading

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