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Confederates Mourn: State’s Rights, National Interest are COLLECTIVIST Notions!!!

Confederates Mourn: State’s Rights, National Interest are COLLECTIVIST Notions!!!

Groundbreaking research from Guru Angus Lenn(on/in)vedanta Smiggles from the Social Constructionist String Theory Department in Bushmills Metaphysical College has made an astonishing revelation.

Yes. In an article published in the Pan-Bushmills Journal of Transcendental Obviousnesses, Smiggles assumes the following astonishing revisionist philosophical stance:

Confederates are not rugged individualists after all!

Actually, they are every bit as collectivist as the bureaucratic ‘Big Government’ wonks they profess to despise!!! Continue Reading

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Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Pope Francis has recently denounced the efforts by notable megachurch entrepreneur Merle Swaggett to buy out the Vatican and run the Church on a more modern basis:

The Catholic Church has been around for a fairly long time, but there are some who envy our long track record of spiritual and material success. Continue Reading

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Confederate Flags Go On Crime Spree

Confederate Flags Go On Crime Spree

Confederate flags are wreaking havoc all over America. In Asheville, North Carolina, a Confederate flag walked into a school and impaled itself through three students.

An unidentified Confederate flag vandalized a reservoir in San Francisco, wasting millions of gallons of water in the drought-stricken area.

One Confederate flag was seen clinging to the roof of an out of control Dodge Charger speeding through a road construction site in Georgia. Continue Reading

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Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But NOT Transsexual! (2/2)

Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But NOT Transsexual! (2/2)

Time for a bit of

mutual mud-slinging, entrenched opinions and the politics of disagreement

as one notable satirical persona says.

Or again, as another such persona says:

Of course, it’s perfectly true, from one perspective, that…

But the other side of this dilemma, which is equally undeniable and obvious…

Let’s see how US politicians have responded to Santorum’s confession that he is trans-sexual, but definitely, definitely not transsexual. Continue Reading

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Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But NOT Transsexual! (1/2)

Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But NOT Transsexual! (1/2)

Rick Santorum has not given the warm and generous welcome to the Supreme Court decision that a number of Republicans had anticipated.

So he’s decided to avoid a false neutrality on this occasion and really speak from the heart.

This may come as a surprise to not a few of you, but I think the new rules are actually totally heterophobic.

I mean, why can’t I have a gay marriage if I want it? So seriously, in order to have a gay marriage, you actually have to be gay? Continue Reading

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Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (2/2)

Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (2/2)

Last time:

Q: Who gets to decide what is a ‘Genocide’ or a ‘Crime Against Humanity,’ and what is merely a series of purportedly less similar war crimes or atrocities?

A: Whoever has the power to do so.

It’s as simple as that. No need to overthink it.

Yes: the official narrative on the very complex Balkans conflict is no more morally reputable than the ravings of David Irving who (as is well enough known) tried to challenge the well-established facts on the vile mass atrocities committed by the Nazis. Continue Reading

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Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (1/2)

Who Committed Mass Atrocities in the Balkans? (1/2)

Quick question:

Who was it that committed mass atrocities in the Balkans? Continue Reading

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Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn!  (3/3)

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (3/3)

Last time:

“You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.”

Yes, nothing like edgy German socialism to warm the cockles of one’s heart. I love a bit of Liebknecht ‘n’ Luxemburg, you know.

Jezza continues:

And needless to say (although the evil hardcore extreme-right-wing-capitalist-media, e.g. the Guardian and the Socialist Work-Wipe may indeed say it), it’s not that, TECHNICALLY, I condone inappropriate acts of what a proportion of individuals may call ‘terrorism’ really-very-much-at-all… Continue Reading

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Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (2/3)

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (2/3)

Last time:

TM: Just change the record, man! You’re boring the arse o’ me, even if you are only a radically tendentious creation of my highly speculative fictional imagination, and not a real person.

Jezza: Well, at least you still HAVE an arse, hm?

One day, if you don’t support us, the capitalists will come and cut off your sorry petty-bourgeois-revisionist arse…

And requisition it and flog it on Ebay or some other undemocratic, top-down, non-cyber-proletarian-controlled neoliberal corporation.

(Or worse still, CAPITALIST corporation!)

Oh and by the way, you know, I think Stalin would just have LOVED Ebay. Continue Reading

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Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (1/3)

Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn! (1/3)

Former Trotskyist, aspiring Social Democrat & edgy Westminster parliamentarian Jeremy Corbyn has agreed to have another objective, impartial interview…

This time, at notable satire outlet Glossy News.

TM: So, we’ll play to your strengths first.

Jezza: Do I have to?

TM: Yes. It’s all in your objective interest. The objective material tendency of this interview is heading in that direction. TINA.

Jezza: That’s very comforting. I know a fellow admirer of the dialectic when I see one. Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 9

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 9

9/12/2001 – THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED – Part 9 (A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The door closed, the room hushed. General Tromsa had an innate feeling as he has had only a few times in his life at critical moments when he intuitively knew that something was about to happen that would leave his life channeled into another direction from what it had been previously.

Cheney walked a few paces ahead of him, then turned and gazed piercingly into his eyes. He knew he was to show this man respect, and he did, but he did not like him.

He recognized him as a powerful person, but also as one who never did anything that did not benefit himself or his own position in life. The General would need to be obliging, but also careful in dealing with the man who had too much power suddenly dropped into his hands.

“General Tromsa, would you be so kind as to sit next to me. This will concern you most of all.” asked Cheney covering up the microphone.

Cheney carefully weighed what he was about to say, choosing a specific tone of voice to carry it over- “Gentlemen, we need a new agency that goes a step beyond what the CIA, the FBI and the NSA does. We need an organization that can watch out for all terrorist threats to this country and specialize on that.“

“Sir, I’m sure the CIA, NSA and FBI can be counted on in those regards. They have many years of experience.” put in General Tromsa.

“The situation is, General, that these rag heads and any of a bunch of other such hoodlums have proven that even cavemen like them can get in and bomb US, (he tapped his chest for effect) that is you and me and that we were in no way ready for it.”

Tromsa could hear the subtle irritation in Cheney’s voice. He knew the man thought of himself as beyond all others in knowledge and regarded even he, a four star general, as a lesser-ling.

“US, General, the people who run this goddamn country! It not like they went after bumfuck Nebraska, they went after us- Washington, New York, the Pentagon; the real nerve centers of the country.

“The people who really run this show. And three weeks ago they got the President of the United States and turned him into sausage. They pulverized the CEO’s of eight corporations at the Twin Towers.

“We need something that will iron clad us, I don’t care how much of the Treasury we have to rob to get it going! Gentlemen, this job will be yours. Of course, I will oversee it and will be the ultimate approver of it.”

“This is a matter I want to make the greatest priority along with finding and eliminating the organization that was behind this attack. Our new agency will be the one to do it.”

Cheney’s eyes shot around the room for any sign of dissent. Not finding any he continued. “I will turn this over to my advisers for questions and answers. I shall return shortly as there are other matters pending that I must attend to.”

“We are going to need a new body to watch out for us. One that embodies and oversees all other intelligence agencies. That is my goal and quest to form that body of intelligence.”

The assembled politicians and military personnel all cast covert looks at each other. Tromsa knew it would be a huge job. He could also see that Cheney was already fully into his role of President. Perhaps he had been for a long time already.

The Senate subcommittee was the next day. It was not as easy going as General Tromsa had been about the previous gathering.

They called the President into a meeting of Senators and Legislators to get down to the meaning of this new organization. Officials from the FBI and CIA were also there.

“The matter is simple- there is no need for another intelligence agency Mr. President. We already have three competent, battle proved agencies whose track record everyone knows.

“We do our job, Mr. President, and frankly, I think we do it very well. There are no shirkers here at the FBI. And I am sure that my colleagues at the CIA can make a similar boast.”

Cheney spoke calmly, little belaying that he was upset by this insubordination.

“As the enemy progresses in sophistication, so must we. We are now dealing on too many fronts with people who would damage us and limit us if they can.

“The CIA and FBI are foremost organizations and, of course, exemplary of what America can produce. But for these new threats we need a new force, a new pair of eyes, different sets of muscle.

“We need an organization that can perceive a threat and take ready action against it. It also cannot be limited by the restraints that the other law agencies must endure. We need an organization that can work around limitations and step in where the other two cannot not.”

“What is the need Mr. President? It would be a huge waste of government funds. The taxpayers have been howling for so long that we are spending too much.”

“I believe the taxpayers are more concerned about what happened at 911 and that this what is crucial on their minds. The American people want to feel safe. The new agency I wish for would concentrate directly on keeping all within our borders safe.”

“At any price, Mr. President?”

“At any price. Safely and security are the top priorities.”

“What will this agency do that the FBI and The CIA cannot do?”

“The new agency, which will be code named ‘Homeland Security’ will be just that. They will exist for that sole purpose- protecting the homeland, America, against all aggressors and all invasions down to the individual.

“They will oversee all incidents relating to internal and national security and they will aggressively eliminate all threats to them. We will begin with installing agents of this organization at all ports of entry to this country to oversee that all persons, luggage and material entering this country will be subject to extreme surveillance so that no threat shall enter these borders be they human or material.

“When they grow more into their roles then they will also be injected into other lands.”

“Sir, I truly believe the two we have already can do that already.

“This new agency will also be overseeing the other two.’

There was a dead silence in the auditorium.

Disbelievingly, Director Micheals spoke. “This Homeland Security will be over seeing the CIA and the FBI?”

“That is correct, Director Micheals.”

His statement lit a spark that now engulfed the room. Angry talk and discussions rolled throughout the air. The Director rose out of his chair in anger. “This is an outrage!

“A fledgling organization, fresh born, will oversee two agencies that have proved themselves in battle over decades! That is an insult! What in the world are you thinking?”

“I have conferred with my aides and they see eye to eye on this. We need an oversight organization.”

“This is a form of treason, President Cheney! This is incredible! Who would this Homeland Security answer to?”

“To me personally.”

“Ahh, I see. To you personally! So that would give you de facto control over all three organizations. How smart! How dictatorial!”

Irritation grew in Cheney’s nerves, giving his eyes a wolf like glow. “It is something that needs to be done, Micheals. We can’t be fooling around with these terrorists. We need to have an iron protection around this country.”

“And that is what you will have Mr. Cheney, an iron control over this country. And I think that is what you want.”

Cheney’s blood pressure was spiking. ‘I am doing what I believe to be necessary for the country, Mr. Micheals. Nothing more.”

Micheals leaned forward in his chair and fastened a direct eye upon the new President. “Tell me something, Mr. Cheney- Were these new terrorists a threat only to our military personnel or to ordinary civilians, would you be going to this much trouble to make a new organization?”

Cheney felt a glowing anger sear through his brain. It was his time for bold faced lying. “I am only doing what I believe necessary to protect the people of this country. I do not see why I need to be condemned for that. I believe our conference has come to an end, gentlemen. Good day.”

A muted gasp went up from many of the reporters assembled followed by angry muttering. Many flashed dark glances at the President as they put together their papers for leaving.

“Good day indeed… “ Muttered Micheals under his breath as he collected his papers in his briefcase and stormed out. The tension in the room was unbearable.

To be continued…

– – – – – – – – – – – –
The entire book of 9/12/2001 is available on lulu.com.

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Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (2/2)

Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (2/2)

So, why was Jan Brewer displeased that Myanmar, Saudi Arabia and North Korea have recently banned ‘divisive and Eurocentric curricula?’

FFS! This is sheer anti-white hatred! Now, you may use whatever words you wish, young man!

… Oh wait, a girl? Is that the girl who is actually called Kim?

Oh, she’s a man? Did she get a…

Well, why doesn’t that surprise me! They’re not exactly a leading Christian nation, are they? Nothing would surprise me less! Continue Reading

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Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (1/2)

Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (1/2)

Myanmar, Saudi Arabia and North Korea have finally stated that ‘decadent Western capitalist/kafr/woman’ (sic) Jan Brewer of Arizona might be on to something.

Yes, they have recently passed draconian laws to prevent ‘divisive’ university studies.

Myanmar will not allow any university courses, individuals or families to exist that are Eurocentric in character.

So there will be no more even remotely nuanced accounts or critiques of Western historiography of Myanmar… Continue Reading

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The Great Flâneur Massacre: Novella Excerpt 2. Stomping on Stamp.

The Great Flâneur Massacre: Novella Excerpt 2. Stomping on Stamp.

STAMFORD

No I swear sis, I’m literally not looking down on you!

Well, not in that way.

Well, nor in the other sense.

I mean, never mind all those booky-kooky fine details, mate. What I’m trying to say is, you know, you’re surprisingly tall for one of your type.

But maybe need to dress a bit classier, yeah? You’re a bit of a mainstream girl in those bloody jeans. Get something a bit more local, less mainstream straight-vanilla-globalistic-ish-subservient, like.

Know what I mean, more ‘you.’ More authentically Tibetanist, right? Continue Reading

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Brown Irishmen Six: A Song of Fury

Brown Irishmen Six: A Song of Fury

Last night another innocent, peaceful person died in an “unknown” land.

When the body of this person was pulled from the rubble in an unknown city in a certain Middle Eastern country, this message, along with a photo, was found in his breast pocket. By some miracle, the text was still intact.

The woman in the picture looked like an Irish woman, and the humorous, teasing shamrocks on the underside of the photo would appear to confirm this. Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 8 – The Top Dog Meeting

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 8 – The Top Dog Meeting

9/12/2001 – THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED – Part 8 (A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – READ THEM HERE: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7.

The atmosphere in the meeting room was the tensest of any since 911. It was also the most secretive. Cheney had watched closely the actions of his secret service men and had made a special section within them who would answer directly to him and not to their chief.

They had autonomy from the rest of the secret Service. They now guarded, under a form of secrecy never seen before in the White House, a ‘Green Zone’ within the periphery of the meeting. What was unusual was that other politicians were excluded and to be kept in the dark about the assembly.

The other unusuality was that the majority of those in the group were from outside the political sphere, CEO’s, industry representatives and other non-coms were ushered into a meeting that would prove to be as historic as The Yalta Conference- were historians ever to learn of it.

Cheney came in late. All rose in proper respect. But he would not be the main one speaking. He was not the top dog here. The top dog was not even there.

The honor of being the prime speaker would be Marshall Koheso, representative for the Unalgo Petroleum Consortium. He would be speaking on behalf of the President of the Corporation, Johnathon Meyers.

Mr. Meyers had deemed it wise not to be there himself. Even with the tight security he feared that a leak of his presence there would be disastrous both to him and to the company.

So, thereby, Mr. Koheso being little more than an intelligent mouthpiece, got to be King For A Day at the conference.

Mr. Koheso walked up to the podium. He wasted no time in getting to the point. “So, gentlemen, welcome! We have a lot to go over and it would be wise to keep our time here to a minimum and to get as much said in done in as few words as possible.

I am hoping that everyone has their cell phones turned off and, I most sincerely hope that no one is wearing a bug because we are monitoring for such. I don’t need to mention the embarrassment that would occur if we were to interrupt this meeting because someone was wearing one.”

He stopped for a moment and gave a sharp eyed look around the room for anyone looking uncomfortable with that announcement.

“We might as well jump into it. World oil production had reached its peak. The chance of finding more large oil deposits is diminishing. China and India are moving up in their energy usage.

My friends, the world is only so big. There is only so much oil. We need to grab our share while we can. Now we have our chance”

”Ten years ago we engaged in a war to free Kuwait from Saddam Hussein’s domination. We succeeded. And by succeeding we gained the trust and a good percentage of the oil reserves of Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. But we made a bad mistake. We should have taken Iraq as well.

We had them by the tail and we intentionally let go. With oil supplies dwindling it would have been logical to keep Iraq with a quarter of the world’s oil supplies under our thumb.”

“Now the advent of the Afghanistan war has given us another opportunity. Iraq is right next door. This is a golden chance. Everyone thinks the worst of Saddam Hussein. It wouldn’t take much to make it look like he was involved in 911.

Not much at all. If we were to prove convincingly that he was, then we would have an excuse to march back to Baghdad. And it would be the same cake walk that it was the last time.”

“We have been conferring confidentially with military and financial experts about the possibility of launching a strike on Iraq. Most agree that it is a feasible undertaking.

If it were to be done Blitzkrieg style with little announcement, rapid deployment and little interference from outside powers, we could have command of the Iraqi oilfields in a week.”

A murmur of comment sounded throughout the room.

“What would seal the initiative would be if we were to say that Hussein had the ability to launch weapons against us or Europe and make it stick. That would be the clincher.” He waited to let this sink in.

“If we could convince Americans that Iraq could blow them out of their pajamas in the dead of night, Iraq would be ours for the taking. If we could convince at least a good portion of Europeans the same, so much the sweeter.”

He stopped and looked around the room, gauging how they were taking this. He saw reflective, pensive and thoughtful faces, all mulling over what he had just introduced.

He sensed a hesitancy, an unwillingness to go this far. He would have to hammer the last nail in the coffin.

“It is only a matter of time before the oil starts to run short. Do we want the Chinese to get the majority of it? Think of how much they would squander if their 2 billion all got autos. India has one billion people. Between the two of them that is 9 times as many people as are in the United States.“

He let this sink in. “I will put it bluntly gentlemen- if we are to survive we need Iraq! If we take Iraq now, we will thrive at least through our generation.”

He let the hammer fall. “And lets be honest folks, all we really care about it our generation. What happens after we are gone is someone elses problem.”

He went on at length to explain the inaccuracies of the situation to a rapt audience.

Spirited discussion broke out all around him. Some of it was fearful, some aggressive.

While the chatter was going on and the attention was scattered, Koheso carefully worked his way to the edge of the podium, then engaged in some fake dialogue with a colleague at the end of it.

A couple of secret service men in plainclothes surrounded him appearing to engage in conversation, then, when no one was looking, spirited him away through a false panel out of sight of the audience.

Two of the normally garbed secret service agents escorted him up the hidden walkway and out an unmarked exit, making sure he made it to his car unmolested and out the gate.

His disappearance was a major psychological factor of the presentation. His partner Lance Jainson would be left to give a set of predetermined answers to whoever asked. And the answers were all oriented towards war in Iraq.

NEWS FLASH! – “The Pentagon maintains that Iraq has weapons that could cause massive destruction against the United States, Europe and Israel. Officials say that satellite photos have given officials enough evidence to support the theory that the country has missiles with the capability of reaching the United States.

“It is also believed that Saddam Hussein has received the instructions needed to build an atomic warhead from Palestinian agents within his country. Top military Generals are saying that we might need a greater troop buildup in Afghanistan in case things start to get difficult in Iraq.”

— – – – – – – –
To Be Continued…
— – – – – – – –

The complete book of ‘9/12/2001’ is available from lulu.com.

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