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Loony Marxist Creep Jeremy Corbyn Warns: “Unregulated Media More Dangerous than ISIS!”

Loony Marxist Creep Jeremy Corbyn Warns: “Unregulated Media More Dangerous than ISIS!”

The UK media landscape will never be the same again, as a beloved figure threatens to treat global fake news MSM corporations very harshly…

As they pose a greater threat even than ISIS. Continue Reading

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Sarah Huckabee-Sanders Unveils New “Talk To the Hand” Rapid-Response System

Sarah Huckabee-Sanders Unveils New “Talk To the Hand” Rapid-Response System

Trump and White House apologist Sarah Huckabee-Sanders has gone from eager apologist to wholly soulless sack of human garbage in less time than a newfound junkie has, but today she’s taken it to a new level.

“Talk to the hand!” said the internally and extrenally ugly daughter of Arkansas governor Mike (anything for approval) Huckabee. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics1 Comment

Offering “Thoughts And Prayers” To Shooting Victims Just Don’t Fly No More. Here’s Why-

Offering “Thoughts And Prayers” To Shooting Victims Just Don’t Fly No More. Here’s Why-

The long overused but handy expression used by countless soulless politicians and supposed sympathizers, when trying to gloss over a tragedy so that they could get back to their money making and power grabbing duties, has finally run its course. The public at large now sees these expressions as statements without any real substance or meaning. Continue Reading

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Posted in Making Headlines, Top Stories6 Comments

New Incentives and Rewards Scheme Coming Soon!

New Incentives and Rewards Scheme Coming Soon!

Although I have been writing and otherwise helping out here for a while, I have held the formal position of sub-editor since January 2017; apart from a brief hiatus at the beginning of 2018, I’ve been here ever since! Continue Reading

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Posted in Top Stories0 Comments

Ashes to Diamonds: A Keepsake to Consider For your Departed Loved Ones

Ashes to Diamonds: A Keepsake to Consider For your Departed Loved Ones

A cremation diamond ring as an everlasting tribute Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News0 Comments

North Korea Linked To Upsurge In UK Cycling

North Korea Linked To Upsurge In UK Cycling

Alarming new intelligence has linked North Korea to the upsurge in UK cycling. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Health, Politics, Society, Top Stories2 Comments

North Koreans Score a Victory Before The Olympic Games Even Begin

North Koreans Score a Victory Before The Olympic Games Even Begin

Chances like this didn’t come very often. Especially in cash poor, politically isolated North Korea.

The plan to overlook political differences and cash in on the once in a millennium chance to be in the Olympics caused Kim Jong Un to forgo his nuclear rants with his Anglo doppelganger in the U.S. conquistador seat of power. Here was the chance to control events in America in a way the Russians could not even dream of.

His sister was to sit directly behind the Vice President of the United States at the Olympic Opening ceremony.

Directly behind…

This was an opportunity made in Heaven – or, in Jong Un’s case, a chance made in Hell. He now had the chance to bring down the US from within.

He himself would not go to the Olympics. There was too great a risk of assassination. The media attention would be too much as well. He could handle the overly staged photo shoots he managed from within his hermit kingdom; but in the South, there were those technologically advanced cameras that for all he knew might have the ability to photograph him naked through his clothes. The thought of nude photos of himself dropped as propaganda from enemy planes high over head made him shudder.

He would have his sister go. The bitch needed to start earning her keep and not be prancing around Paris spending more money in a day than the average peasant in North Korea could afford in their whole lives. She would do the dirty work.

From her position behind Pence she would firstly blow a micro-dart through a straw into his neck, that would render him unable to notice the violations of his space he would soon be experiencing. Then she would pour a biological dust down the collar of his jacket that over time would invade his body and shut down the creative and higher functions of his brain, leaving him with the mental abilities he had, basically; but unable to think creatively. She would then sneak microchips into the submarine sandwich that he brought with him because he was afraid of eating Korean food. These would eventually lodge in his brain. These chips would feed messages to him unconsciously via microphones, run by North Korean agents stationed in Washington D.C. These agents would broadcast information to his weakened brain, directing him to do their bidding.

Jong Un rubbed his hands in joy. He now had his own Manchurian Candidate in the White House itself, ready to execute his will. The first thing to do – have Pence suggest giving aid to them in money, food and military equipment. Second – sever US ties with South Korea. Third – have those two obnoxious actors who made fun of him in the movie The Interview publicly executed.

Unfortunately for them, the plot did not work. Pence’s higher mental facilities were already shut down from years of hyper-conservative upbringing and whatever little he had leftover were soon annihilated from serving on the Trump administration. Also, being used to putting up with annoying reporters and protesters, Pence had an inner instinctual mechanism for shutting out the messages from the Korean agents. The whole venture was a wasted effort.

Except for the drug in the micro-dart. It had a longer lasting effect that no one expected. For days thereafter Pence had a smile on his face, hugged gay athletes, was actually nice to people and lost the fossilized frozen look on his face. At least for a while….

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Kim Jong-Un Uses Passing Train to Face-Shave

Kim Jong-Un Uses Passing Train to Face-Shave

North Korea leader Kim Jong-Un has released a propaganda film of himself using a passing high speed train to shave his face. In a government campaign that hopes to encourage Korean citizens to reduce their razor purchases, Jong-Un has advised all his country’s face shavers to donate their razor expenditure to the nuclear programme instead Continue Reading

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Today’s Woke Nonsense Round-Up: Black Britain, Brexit & Bloody Human Rights Abusers!

Today’s Woke Nonsense Round-Up: Black Britain, Brexit & Bloody Human Rights Abusers!

White Nationalists Due to Be Triggered by Lack of White Britons in Ancient UK

Oh dear. It just so turns out the Ethnonationalists are basing their ideas on pseudo-science. Britons from 10 000 years ago weren’t ‘white.’  Continue Reading

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Web Design Tips for Your Restaurant Website

Web Design Tips for Your Restaurant Website

Creating a website doesn’t mean your business is going to be successful immediately, especially when you’re in public catering. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News0 Comments

Dems Offer Compromise on Weed Legalization: Let’s Agree to call it “Marihuana”

Dems Offer Compromise on Weed Legalization: Let’s Agree to call it “Marihuana”

With Vermont and Massachusetts added to the growing list of states with legal, recreational marijuana, congress has been scrambling to lower taxes on billionaires and name new post offices. But one congressman has a different plan. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Politics0 Comments

GOP Disapproval at Record High, Dems Frantic to Figure Out New Losing Strategy

GOP Disapproval at Record High, Dems Frantic to Figure Out New Losing Strategy

Congress holds record low approval ratings, but none more so than the Republicans, and none more among them than the Trump-aligned representatives. With an obvious distaste for these levels of corruption, Democrats are furiously scrambling to find new ways to lose the next election. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Society0 Comments

UK Government Fake News Unit Revises Strategy

UK Government Fake News Unit Revises Strategy

UK government plans to combat fake news have required re-evaluation in the face of challenges from all sectors of society. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

The Saturday Night Live Crew Have Pulled Off the Greatest Skit Of All Time

The Saturday Night Live Crew Have Pulled Off the Greatest Skit Of All Time

SNL has just topped anything they have ever done.

They have pulled off the greatest live action skits in the history of comedy. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Trump Unsure Why “Crime” is Actually a Crime

Trump Unsure Why “Crime” is Actually a Crime

President select Donald Trump has admitted to obstruction of justice and collusion, both of which are crimes, but asked Sean Hannity in a phone interview, “Why are those crimes? I mean, nothing else I do is a crime.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Politics0 Comments

Most Infuriating Headlines of January 2018 Comin’ Atcha!

Most Infuriating Headlines of January 2018 Comin’ Atcha!

If you’re tired of fake news and fake real news as well, get a load of this stuff!

Jeremy Corbyn: “Unregulated Corporations More Dangerous than ISIS”

Zac Goldsmith: “Jeremy Corbyn More Dangerous than ISIS!” Continue Reading

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