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College Student Sues Toyota For Tinnitus

College Student Sues Toyota For Tinnitus

Stevens Point, Wisconsin—Tinnitus is a condition that causes a ringing in the ears. Nearly 1 out of every 10 Americans suffer from tinnitus.

Though severity of the noise is on a case-by-case basis, tinnitus has been known to cause people to go insane. The internal ringing gets so bad, people have jumped to their deaths off bridges, drilled out their own ear drums with power tools, and punched their in-laws unprovoked—at least that’s what I told my wife after throat chopping her father. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Health3 Comments

How Coke’s New “FairLife” Super Milk is Made (VIDEO)

How Coke’s New “FairLife” Super Milk is Made (VIDEO)

Milk sales have fallen in recent years, so Coca-Cola has decided to get into the Moo Juice game. We go inside the factory to show you how they improved on perfection.

More calcium and protein with less sugar and lactose free sound too good to be true? At merely twice the price, it’s a reality.

We got to tour the Fair Oaks Farms in Fair Oaks, Indiana to meet the cows and cow-pokes (not as sexy as it sounds) to find out what really makes this premium priced beverage so unique. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Video News0 Comments

Zombie Apocalypse lasts for 3 minutes

Zombie Apocalypse lasts for 3 minutes

Washington, D.C.- Following an alarming number of calls to the CDC, FBI, and NSA, security analyst have concluded that the zombie apocalypse came and went without any causalities and $0 in property damage.

Current Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel, spoke on the matter, “Around 5:03 a.m. eastern standard time, a zombie uprising started near Deer Lick, Kentucky. The uprising promptly ended 3 minutes later, apparently due to the fact that zombies lack muscle tissue.”
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Posted in Health, World News9 Comments

The Latest Personality Type Indicator Will Shock You

The Latest Personality Type Indicator Will Shock You

As outlined in the Breyers-Griggs Universal Spectrum® (BoGUS®) Statement of Aims and Objectives, the purpose of the popular personality test is two-fold:

1. To assist people in better understanding themselves, including their personal preferences, strengths and weaknesses, and scope of interests; and
2. To provide employers with resources to inform key decisions in areas such as staffing and seat assignments. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Internets Tubes0 Comments

The Delicious Truth About How Chicken Nuggets Are REALLY Made [Video]

The Delicious Truth About How Chicken Nuggets Are REALLY Made [Video]

You’ve seen images of pink slime, but you have no idea what really goes on or goes in.

The truth with set you free, specifically free to save money while gobbling down amazing and delicious chicky nuggies. Read on.

More Videos in this Series
How Hot Dogs are REALLY Made (shocking!)
How Twinkies are REALLY Made (you won’t believe it!) Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Video News0 Comments

Ebola Nurses Going on Tour

Ebola Nurses Going on Tour

Dallas, TX-As part of an initiative to educate the public about the dangers of Ebola, 5 of the nurses who have been treating Ebola victims in Dallas are going to be embarking on a 45 day and 3 hour tour.

“This will not be just a tour, but really a great way to educate the public about this terrible disease and hopefully prevent it from spreading further,” said Juanita Rose Erikson, one of the nurses who has treated several of the Ebola patients in a Dallas hospital. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Society0 Comments

Widespread Ebola Pandemic Fears A “Huge Confidence Booster” For Previously Modest Ebolavirus

Widespread Ebola Pandemic Fears A “Huge Confidence Booster” For Previously Modest Ebolavirus

SENEGAL – Explaining that it was, “as surprised as the next viral particle,” about the panic surrounding a potential global Ebola outbreak, EBOV, the virus responsible for Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever, held a press conference this week detailing its seemingly pleasant surprise at the worldwide discussion regarding its supposed pandemic-worthy virulence factors.

“Don’t get me wrong, I have always known my mortality rate was above average,” explained the negative-sense, single-stranded RNA virion. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Science1 Comment

EXCLUSIVE: Hidden Cameras Capture Truth Inside Twinkies [VIDEO]

EXCLUSIVE: Hidden Cameras Capture Truth Inside Twinkies [VIDEO]

Sure, they may taste like banana rainbows and unicorn “stuff” when they’re finished, but what goes into a pastry as yellow and creamy as a Twinkie may make you yellow and squeamish.

We sent an undercover investigator in the depthy bowels of America’s agricultish nightmare for almost 18-months to uncover the truth.

To see what goes in to get what comes out, and discover why it tastes so disgustingly delicious. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Video News1 Comment

Breadfeeding: What You Need To Know

Breadfeeding: What You Need To Know

All across America, parents and their newborns have been latching onto the breadfeeding craze by using an excavated recipe from the ruins of the now extinct restaurant chain, the Olive Garden.

Many are being cautious with the new formula as they are supplementing their current nutritional plans with the fattening butter and garlic recipe made famous by Olive Garden’s once refillable breadstick baskets that came complimentary with the purchase of any entrée or as part of the soup, salad and breadstick option that was only available for lunchtime dining. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Society0 Comments

Busy Tech Execs Boost Productivity, Put Children On Ice

Busy Tech Execs Boost Productivity, Put Children On Ice

When LaShonda Martinez’s boss first offered to freeze her three-year-old son, the programmer was aghast. “I was all like, you want to do what? But then, once they explained themselves, I was all like, yeah, maybe.”

In light of recent benefits offered by tech giants Google and Facebook to freeze employees embryos, Washington-based Microsoft revealed that not only had they a similar policy in place, but that they would actually place already born babies and toddlers into suspended animation as to not interfere with their employee’s workloads. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Health0 Comments

Vatican Wafer Gate

Vatican Wafer Gate

Wikileaks has done it again. The release of 3.4 billion database searchable electronic records is reverberating around the Internet with many new stunning revelations.

The latest to be revealed is a series of directives between the US and the Vatican. In what appears to be a quid pro quo, it appears that a deal was struck whereby the Justice Department would “be soft” in prosecuting abusive priests and let the church deal with them in return for letting a GMO ingredient into their communion wafer.

This was only for North American Catholic churches and began during the millennium crisis. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Religionism3 Comments

Coloradoans Now Even Bigger A**holes Since Start Of Legalized Pot

Coloradoans Now Even Bigger A**holes Since Start Of Legalized Pot

The wonder mellower-outer cannabis, always said to have a positive, tranquilizing affect on its users, has unfortunately not had such an effect on the normally ego-centered Coloradoans who recently legalized use of it.

“Criminy,” said Jim Bames, over the road trucker who delivers freight from Kansas to Colorado regularly “I thought that stuff was supposed to mellow you out! Why them guys now are worse than ever. They was plain old jerks before. Now that they’s smoked up they’s is now super jerks!” Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

College Senior More Concerned With Zombie Apocalypse Than Future

College Senior More Concerned With Zombie Apocalypse Than Future

University if Missouri, Columbia — Despite his mounting college debt and lack of employment, college senior Brent Hamilton appears to be more troubled by the prospect of a zombie apocalypse than his imminent future.

“Brent’s always been a little eccentric, but lately all he talks about is a potential zombie outbreak,” revealed Devin Carter, Brent’s roommate for the past two years.

“He can’t even walk to class without pointing out which buildings are deathtraps and whether or not a facility is perfect for undead sniping. The guy didn’t even consider going to the job fair because it was being held in the Mizzou Rec Complex. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Strange People0 Comments

Sex Ed Declared Gross and Bad

Sex Ed Declared Gross and Bad

Oakland, Indiana — Sexual Education is a course dealing with human sexuality, including anatomy, reproduction, health, and reproductive rights and responsibilities.

The topic of whether or not sexual education should be instructed in public schools is still highly controversial and a common debate even in 2014.

Jefferson Middle School recently adapted a semester long Sex Ed course required for all seventh graders. This decision received a lot of backlash from angry parents who subsequently demanded a public forum with the Oakland City Schools board to explain their side of things. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Health1 Comment

Sex Crazed Teens “Syruping” Leads to Genital Ants

Sex Crazed Teens “Syruping” Leads to Genital Ants

One invariable about teens is that, whether raised in the abstinence-only belt of high teen birth rates, or normal states, kids be getting down and dirty.

This latest crazy craze involves young girls, often those from the flag team, dousing their young male counterparts, often from track or football teams, with various sugary syrups in advance of intimate encounters. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating Crap Out of Him

Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating Crap Out of Him

Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating the Crap Out of Him (Family-Friendly Censored Version)

Mr. Piggy Adam Richman, a titty overweight eater, who had his very own show on the Travel Channel mocked his “critics” by posting a comment, “Grab a razor blade and draw a bath.”

He later went on to apologize and calm the tits out of everyone before he went to panic mode. The stunt surprised everyone, given the fact that Adam only eats when he’s mad. Putting a comment such as may as well saved his life from another heart attack. Poor fatty. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Television0 Comments

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