REGIME CHANGE! African ‘Coalition of the Willing’ Swears to Save Oppressed French, Restore Human Rights

Don’t worry, Paris: help is at hand!
Your old friends, Africa, will not forget you!
Human rights are universal!
All oppressors who deny human rights must be crushed without mercy!


Given the widespread oppression and state terror the ruthlessly violent and unaccountable Macron regime is weaponizing against the valiant freedom fighters of the Yellow Jackets (Gilets Jaunes), a courageous and deeply altruistic alliance of humanitarian interventionists from former French colonies have formed a intrepid coalition of the willing…
In order to liberate the persecuted French people from the barbaric, ruthless, ignorant and violent First World dictators who are treating them like garbage! Read more REGIME CHANGE! African ‘Coalition of the Willing’ Swears to Save Oppressed French, Restore Human Rights

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Israel Ruins Protesters, Commits to Ruining Own Reputation

On May 5th, the United States officially moved the US embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, sparking praise from end-of-days zealots, protests from Palestinians, and a volley of bullets and tear gas from Israeli soldiers posted on the border. Read more Israel Ruins Protesters, Commits to Ruining Own Reputation

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Army Forgets Weapons, Loses War

The small European nation of Chevroni lost its war with the Middle Eastern nation Texico last Sunday after forgetting to bring the weapons.

“It happens,” said Chevroni General Stephen Stanford. “We had them all ready to go, but then things got crazy, we were running late, and the next thing you know, we forgot them.” Read more Army Forgets Weapons, Loses War

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CIA Hymnbook: Agnus Dei/Lamb of God.


So far, the CIA Hymnbook has covered many famous hymns; including Sanctus and Bendictus. And speaking of well-beloved Latin hymns, we now have the ‘Agnus Dei’ or ‘Lamb of God.’

If you’ve recently been reading The Satanic Bible or Necronomicon, this is just the Black Mass the darker side of you has been craving… Read more CIA Hymnbook: Agnus Dei/Lamb of God.

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Professor Smiggles Smugly Condemns Fallacious Conceits of Big Humanitarianism

Some recent comments about humanitarian heroism have failed to satisfy the ever-impossible-to-please satire news fixture, Pre-Senior-Professor-Guru-Emeritus Angus Lenn(on/in)vedanta Smiggles from the Social Constructionist String Theory Department in Bushmills Metaphysical College.

Notable public figure and moderate political Tory-ist William Hague moans: Read more Professor Smiggles Smugly Condemns Fallacious Conceits of Big Humanitarianism

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NRA Puts Flag At Half Mast For AR-15 Cut In Half By Gun Owner

In a sense of tragic loss and deep empathy, NRA Headquarters and local affiliate branches have lowered their flags to half mast in honor of an AR-15 assault rifle that was horrifyingly cut in half and destroyed by its owner. Read more NRA Puts Flag At Half Mast For AR-15 Cut In Half By Gun Owner

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Trump Should Attack Russia to Take Heat off RussiaGate Scandal, Experts Say

WASHINGTON – Politicians and media pundits from both political perspectives have called on President Trump to attack Russia as soon as possible to prove once and for all that he is not colluding with Russia.

“The only way for Trump to prove that he isn’t colluding with Russia – is to attack them,” said former National Security Advisor, Dulles Minderbinder on CNN.

Read more Trump Should Attack Russia to Take Heat off RussiaGate Scandal, Experts Say

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