Archive | War Zone

Radical Feminists Thwart Hillary’s ‘Fauxfem’ Campaign for Commander-in-Chief

Radical Feminists Thwart Hillary’s ‘Fauxfem’ Campaign for Commander-in-Chief

The Democratic Party have dismissed as ‘unjustifiably and unnecessarily contrarian’ a feminist blog which threatened to expose what the writers are calling the ‘faux-feminist’ prospects of a liberal Clinton Presidency.

The culprits have recently posted the following article:

 Clinton Dynasty or Limpet Dynasty? 

The only hope Hillary Clinton offers to women is the hope of ‘progressing’ to be a second-rate Bush or Obama or LBJ or Nixon.

If you’re saying all American women can hope and aspire to, is merely being the next Hillary, you’re trying to consign entire generations of women to an appalling fate. American women have too much intelligence, creativity and character to submit to endorsing the myth of Clinton Mobility. Continue Reading

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Neocon Surveillance & Neocon Surveillance Network are Now Online: Critique, Commentary & Satire!

Neocon Surveillance & Neocon Surveillance Network are Now Online: Critique, Commentary & Satire!

Wallace Runnymede and Appleseed Ike have recently launched Neocon Surveillance and Neocon Surveillance Network! These two anti-war and pro-peace sites provide both prose commentary and satire, in order severely and indeed mercilessly critique the current Neocon/Liberal Interventionist consensus.

A. Neocon Surveillance Network provides some basic factual data, e.g. free advertizing opportunities, news of protests, and information on anniversaries related to war and peace.

B. Neocon Surveillance, the key website of the two, is an uncompromisingly contrarian and dissident grassroots blogging outlet. As strong believers in self-criticism among pacifists and non-interventionists, a non-negotiable aspect of our critical responsibility is to explore faults in anti-war movements, organizations, texts, works of arts and individuals; rather than merely criticizing warmongers and their apologists alone. For this reason, we explicitly repudiate far-left and far-right ‘anti-war’ ideology alike.

In this spirit, we are looking for more centre-left and centre-right people (either pacifists or non-interventionists) to join our team: please email wallacerunnymede@gmail.com or appleseedike@gmail.com. If you are not sure if we are for you, or vice versa, please email us anyway, and we can discuss your possible contributions to our cause. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone0 Comments

Pre-launch of  ‘Neocon Surveillance’ Site Jan 21! Plus Another War & Peace Story on Glossy News…

Pre-launch of ‘Neocon Surveillance’ Site Jan 21! Plus Another War & Peace Story on Glossy News…

The pre-launch for Neocon Surveillance has just been accomplished! The site can be found here: http://neoconsurveillance.blogspot.co.uk/

This site is devoted to mainstream (centre left through centre right, or vice versa!) critique and satire of neoconservativism, liberal interventionism, responsibility to protect, and general self-serving warmongering and opportunism. If you wish to write for this site, please drop your co-irritants a line: wallacerunnymede@gmail.com, appleseedike@gmail.com

Better still, Jan 21 is just the preliminary pre-launch, to give a taster of the site. The full launch will be on 1 March 2016, with a wide array of articles! In terms of genres and styles, we will be very pluralistic: opinion pieces, fake news, poetry, cartoons, personal reflections, and more! We are open to a wide range of contributions. If you are not sure, just ask! We are very open-minded in general about genres and styles, as well as about opinions, although in order to maintain the quite specific character and integrity of the site, we do ask that contributors are committed to either pacifism or non-interventionism. (Both are equally suitable for our purposes here at Neocon Surveillance. Again, if you aren’t sure what this might entail, just ask!)

See also the companion site, http://neoconsurveillancenetwork.blogspot.co.uk/ Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Top Stories, War Zone0 Comments

Sole Survivor of a Flurry of Mass Shootings Opposes Firearms Regulation

Sole Survivor of a Flurry of Mass Shootings Opposes Firearms Regulation

Even as the rate of all other gun-related crimes had been decreasing in the United States for decades, the rate of mass shootings had steadily increased as gun show loopholes were found to circumvent bans on assault rifles, mental health centers were defunded by the government, and the NRA captured both political parties. Experts on television declared that the solution to massacres in movie theaters was to add more guns to theaters; to slaughters in malls, it was to add more guns to malls; and to school shootings, it was to add more guns to schools. Soon enough, the United States was overflowing with guns.

And Americans were angry, very angry, because their political system was corrupt and unresponsive to the plight of the middle class and the poor. Both parties had catered to the wealthy business elites in exchange for their campaign contributions and for cushy jobs in the private sector. The combination of mass resentment and rage together with millions upon millions of state-of-the-art firearms boded ill for the nation’s survival.

In 2017, Texas alone sustained 362 mass shootings. The survivors fled the state, leaving it barren, but there was no escape. New Mexico, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and all the other southern states erupted in gunfire as the mentally deranged, the marginalized, and the dispossessed as well as the jihadist terrorists vented their frustrations by spraying bullets in crowded places. Militarized police forces were deployed and demonized by fear-mongering right-wingers who awaited the prophesied End of Days. Militias went to war against the police, eventually leaving the southern states desolate and bereft of human inhabitants.

Liberal lawmakers took the loss of the southern half of their country as an opportunity to push for mild gun control laws, but they were ousted from office by NRA-backed candidates who merely had to call the liberals “communists” to win popular support even as the voters were cut down by hooligans’ gunfire soon after leaving the voting booth.

Again, the survivors fled to the north, but the northerners found they had to arm themselves or be shot to pieces by the traumatized southerners. Through 2019 the mass shootings continued and looked increasingly like a civil war.

In 2020, the U.S. population dropped to around 100,000 proud, patriotic Americans.

Before the government fell, Congress again debated whether to regulate the shrunken gun industry that was still pumping out firearms and selling them to the beleaguered remnants of American civilization. Congress decided against halting the nation’s impending collapse, insisting that the Founders had been rabid anarchists who intended for the country to resemble not fattened, spoiled Middle America but something like the Wild West which was truly the land of the free and the home of the brave.

As one Republican representative said, “The Founding Fathers upheld everyone’s right to bear arms for the purpose of stocking a militia. A militia has to be powerful enough to take down the government if the government should fail to uphold the law. Therefore, every American citizen has the right to carry even weapons of mass destruction to keep the government in check.”

Cosmopolitan Americans from abroad rushed home to attempt to salvage their nation, but were cut down by gunfire soon after stepping off the tarmac.

Canada and Mexico, too, moved into American territory and were promptly blasted en masse by Americans boasting the latest in military hardware. Thereafter, foreigners kept their distance.

When survivors in Montana realized that the government had neglected in their last firearms bill to allow for the sale of newly-designed magazines capable of carrying 400 rounds of ammunition, they nuked Washington D.C., rendering the country lawless.

In 2021, after a series of further mass shootings, there were only twelve Americans left alive. Six of the survivors engaged in a Mexican standoff over a dispute about who spilled beer on the shoe of whom. All six pulled their triggers and died in a hail of bullets.

The remaining five Americans deemed it wise to spread themselves out across the land to keep alive the American Dream. One, however, Howard Derringer, was mentally ill and hunted down the others, executing them with an assortment of submachine guns until only two Americans remained: Derringer and a former bus driver named Mark McEwan.

Before Derringer could locate and shoot McEwan, Derringer succumbed to an unknown ailment in 2023.

Mark McEwan was the sole survivor of American freedom. A peaceable man, McEwan allowed foreigners to observe his actions without launching a crazed assault on them.

He spent the bulk of his time agonizing over whether to impose restrictions on the use of firearms. One day, standing before a mirror, he gave a speech to himself.

“I speak to you today as president of this great nation,” he said, “having just voted for myself last week. I speak to you also as someone who is terribly thirsty. There’s no water for miles. Aside from that, I feel it’s incumbent on me to take up the issue of arms control. There’s no NRA anymore, so passing a ban on assault rifles would be feasible. I could throw all the long guns I see into a river.

“But as the last American, I also feel I have a duty to honour the American spirit. For that reason, I’ve decided not to control the use of firearms. Instead, I’ll shoot this sonuvabitch, blowing my brains out with a Colt M4 carbine. Let the blessed guns inherit the earth.”

With the loss of Mark McEwan and of the United States, China became the world’s largest gun manufacturer. In 2025, China annexed what had hitherto been the American heartland, honouring those previous generations of brave American souls who had eked out a living under the constant threat of being shot like a Third World dog in the streets, by turning that territory into a giant gun manufacturing facility.

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Posted in Crime, War Zone12 Comments

The NRA Changes Its Name To ‘Jihadist Rifle Association’ Because That is Where The Money Is Now.

The NRA Changes Its Name To ‘Jihadist Rifle Association’ Because That is Where The Money Is Now.

The National Rifle Association, smelling a chance to increase its profits and its membership, has decided to follow the money and change their name to ‘Jihadist Rifle Association’ instead.

The NRA, long a secret backer of any American tragedy that results in opulent amounts of carnage and bloodshed which stimulates greater gun sales, has finally realized that the real profits are in supplying guns to the Muslim extremists who seem to be gaining in popularity and influence not only in the Middle East but throughout the world.

Scores of U.S., European, African and Asiatic individuals are running to Syria to join ISIS which has become the Mecca for those seeking a little excitement and purpose in life and to piss off their parents. Now after the Paris and San Bernardino attacks the ISIS brand seems to be the biggest gun market in the world. Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 –  The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Iraq Part 18

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Iraq Part 18

9/12/2001
THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED
Iraq
Part 18

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – –

SECTION 3

It was a glorious morning to be out in the marshes. There was still a leftover crispness in the air that the mounting sun was slowly disintegrating. Canadian geese could be heard honking as they flapped overhead. The only sounds not of Nature itself were the muted sounds of autos making their way up the highway miles away. Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary, War Zone0 Comments

Cuddly Kitten It’sNoCan’t Invents Funny Tales to Amuse Children (Story 2)

Note: I think the following story from an anonymous source is really rather foolish, trite and lacking in serious artistic maturity.

It is excessively fantastical, it is whimsical to the point of nonsensical, and quite frankly, I am tempted to say that the author has all but wasted their time.

I do not see anything in this story other than nonsensical tomfoolery, and a pseudo-artistry which borders on the idiotic. Still, I have decided to print it anyway. See the following link:

http://glossynews.com/society/kids-zone/201511040300/funny-cat-story-explanation-more-sensible-than-the-story/

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/get-your-war-on/201511050200/cuddly-kitten-itsnocant-invents-funny-tales-to-amuse-children-story-1/

Continued from last time:

With a most congenial purr of satisfaction, It’sNoCan’t said: Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, War Zone0 Comments

Cuddly Kitten It’sNoCan’t Invents Funny Tales to Amuse Children (Story 1)

Note: I think the following story from an anonymous source is really rather foolish, trite and lacking in serious artistic maturity.

It is excessively fantastical, it is whimsical to the point of nonsensical, and quite frankly, I am tempted to say that the author has all but wasted their time.

I do not see anything in this story other than nonsensical tomfoolery, and a pseudo-artistry which borders on the idiotic. Still, I have decided to print it anyway. See the following link:

http://glossynews.com/society/kids-zone/201511040300/funny-cat-story-explanation-more-sensible-than-the-story/

Critic of feral kitty-kats, non amateur-naughty-story-theorist & professional (-ish!) moderate-political-storyteller Prim-Prim ‘Tall Story’ It’sNoCan’t…

Has recently joked that mutual enemies the Iguana Statists, the Cheeky Cuckoos and the Southpaw Cats Information Agency temporarily put aside their differences recently, and staged the Grand(-iloquently Silly) Funny Street Furfight Massacre. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, War Zone0 Comments

WikiLeaks Gets An Inside Look At Assad’s “Historic” Meeting With Putin

WikiLeaks Gets An Inside Look At Assad’s “Historic” Meeting With Putin

The famed web expose site WikiLeaks scored a mammoth coup this week with its hidden camera surveillance of the Assad/Putin meeting in Moscow.

The leader of Syria and the President of Russia were presumably meeting to discuss their mutual concerns about the rebellion in Syria. The hidden tapes revealed much more than that.

The following is a direct transcript of the meeting of the two dictators translated into English: Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People, War Zone0 Comments

Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege! (2/2)

Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege! (2/2)

The problem isn’t so much about not listening to voters.

No, the problem is when the views of mere fallible, imperfect, and often downright ignorant and uneducated voters of mere mortal flesh and blood are…

I mean, the problem is when the mundanely average common man’s prejudices are somehow, you know, treated as some kind of abstract, default, standard, disreputably vanillaesque norm…

Yes, the problem is the tyranny of all these merely opportunistic and ignorant assumptions which are, as it were, you see, for some mysteriously undisclosed reason or another, to be somehow considered as ‘common sense.’

Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege! (1/2)

Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege! (1/2)

Dynamic and charismatic political figure Tony Blair has recently made another helpful intervention, in order to clear up any confused ideas any mere ‘ordinary people’ may be stubbornly clinging to.

Yes, the former Middle East peace envoy and architect of innumerable sweepingly successful and highly lauded humanitarian interventions…

Has recently been so kind as to educate his foolish and benighted critics on where they are going wrong.

Assuming an uncustomarily longwinded and pedagogical stance, Blair twitched: Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Assad Needs To be Taken Out NOW!!!

Assad Needs To be Taken Out NOW!!!

There are Syrian refugees risking their lives fleeing to the shores of Greece and overrunning every country between their homeland and Germany.

Many of those staying behind are being brutally murdered and maimed in their own homes and streets.

The finances and resources of the countries taking in the refugees are being badly strained. Great unrest is being fomented in all the lands surrounding Syria.

This is basically all because of one man- Bashar al-Assad, the President of Syria. Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary, War Zone0 Comments

Doctors Without Borders Invests in Body Armor, Bunkers

Doctors Without Borders Invests in Body Armor, Bunkers

The medical charity Doctors Without Borders is stocking up on body armor, underground bunkers, and armored vehicles. It’s unusual for the group of volunteer doctors to take such measures, but recent attacks by the United States have made it necessary.

“No one wants people to survive in a war zone,” said the organization’s General Director, Christopher Stokes. “We have powerful enemies, enemies who are eager to murder us and anyone in our vicinity, civilians, doctors, anyone.”

A spokesman for the United States military confirmed this. “Our job is to kill people. These doctors are getting in the way when they save lives.” Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Putin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight

Putin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight

Obama and other world leaders were sitting around the UN private lounge contemplating what to do about the Syrian crisis that was disturbing all of the Mideast and Europe. Depression had set in due to the difficulties that had arisen over the situation that seemed to escalate no matter what their efforts were. And it all was basically because of one man- Bashar al-Assad, the dictator of Syria.

The X-Box like control mechanism that determined the bombings of the day lay on a table between them. No one had the enthusiasm to touch it.

Suddenly the door burst open and an energetic presence entered.

“Greetings Comrades. I am here to solve the Syrian problem!” The unusually smiley face of Vladimir Putin greeted all the seated dignitaries as he hurriedly went around the circle of sofas shaking hands. “I am the answer to all your difficulties!” Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

LBJ’s Human Rights Lecture to Glossy News Readers

LBJ’s Human Rights Lecture to Glossy News Readers

Hey, everybody! It’s yer best buddy Jumbo Johnson here! Everybody loves a bit of good old NON-GOVERNMENTAL Human Rights Organization shit, huh?

That’s right, bitches! Time for one damn fine bit of unpatriotic pinko analysis of the notable patriotic human rights NGO, Freedom House!

Ooo, SHIT! I LIIIIKE the sounda THAT!

Well hey, baby! Everybody loves freedom, right?! Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, War Zone0 Comments

President Assad Comes out as Secular, Hezbollah Furious

President Assad Comes out as Secular, Hezbollah Furious

Hezbollah has been assisting President Assad of Syria in fighting many of his enemies; not least the self-styled “Caliph” Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

However, Hezbollah have recently decided to pull their forces out of Syria, on account of a shameless revelation the Syrian leader made on a Qatarese television show.

In front of millions of viewers, Assad wept: Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

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