President Putin
Posted in Politics Top Stories War Zone

SPACE PIRATE PUTIN Dumps Nuclear Treaty with America… Trump Buzzing, Whole World Fuzzing!

Moscow, RU- On Wednesday, rugged Russian President and self-styled hyper-masculine space pirate Vladimir Putin signed a bill that officially withdrew Russia from the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty (IRNFoT); bringing to an end, the end of the Cold War. It…

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Posted in Top Stories War Zone

Iran to US: “Thanks for the New Drone Tech!”

Washington, DC- On Thursday evening, moments before he was to order an air strike against Iran, President Donald Trump received a letter of thanks from the President of Iran, Hassan Rouhani, for sharing the latest in American drone technology, after…

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Iran
Posted in War Zone World News

T-Rex & Me: & a Naughty Missile Conspiracy in Iran!

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Glossy News (pop us a like here!) has been buzzing over the whole controversial missile attack that widely loathed ‘old school conservatives’ (neocon warmongers) Mike “Manky Mike” Pompeo and John “Armchair Johnny” Bolton are conveniently attributing to…

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Posted in War Zone World News

Dark Nigel Rises: A One Act Play About the Bane of Brexit!

FARAGE: Behind you stands a symbol of oppression. The House of Commons, where millions of citizens have languished under the name of this woman: Theresa May: who has been held up to you as the shining example of patriotism! You…

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Posted in War Zone World News

John Bolton Infallibly PROVES Iranian Tanker Conspiracy Theory!

Foamy-mouthed neoconservative intellectual and MIC-beloved establishment conspiracy theory John Bolton has come out fighting against allegations that the Iran ‘smoking gun’ is just another Blair-stylee WMD fraud! Now, let’s remember the Maine thing we all have to remember… He begins….

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Posted in War Zone World News

With The New Iranian Snafu Now Would Be A Good Time To ‘Remember The Maine.’ And A Few Other Things!

Well, it looks like we are going to get ourselves into another Mid East snafu. Bolton wants to go manu-a-manu with Iran (as long as someone else does the actual fighting. He is in competition with Trump for the most…

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Posted in War Zone World News

“Moderate” Republicans & Democrats Already Missing Guys Who Genocided a Million Iraqi Civilians!

The unusual rhetorical flavor and idiosyncratic policy approach of Donald Trump has left self-styled GOP moderates and centrist Democrats to reminisce about the golden age when both parties were the greatest force for good (and humanitarian genocide) the world has…

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Bush Obama
Posted in Politics War Zone

Washington Limericks! (TRIGGER WARNING: NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!)

There once was a loser called Bush Who told old Saddam to vamoosh He tanked the economy And made y’all some enemies And the terror threat went through the roof! ___ There once was a showman called Barry Who was…

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Posted in Music War Zone

County Joe’s ‘Fixin’ To Die Rag’ From Woodstock Rebooted For Our Modern Iran Dilemma

Back in the height of the Vietnam era a little ditty made it onto the airwaves that protested the undeclared war in a darkly humorous way. It was called “I Feel Like I’m Fixin’ To Die Rag” by Country Joe…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories War Zone

BIG OIL OVERJOYED! 10 American Air Force Pilots Hanged for Collateral Damage

CNN, Fox News and MSNBC are currently rejoicing, as a steady torrent of excitable news broadcasts jubilantly proclaim to us all that the long-enduring myth of a ‘lack of accountability’ for American foreign policy is finally dead and buried. How…

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Posted in War Zone World News

REGIME CHANGE! African ‘Coalition of the Willing’ Swears to Save Oppressed French, Restore Human Rights

Given the widespread oppression and state terror the ruthlessly violent and unaccountable Macron regime is weaponizing against the valiant freedom fighters of the Yellow Jackets (Gilets Jaunes), a courageous and deeply altruistic alliance of humanitarian interventionists from former French colonies…

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Posted in War Zone

CIA Satanic Hymnbook Leak (XI): My Government, My Saviour

My Government, My Saviour, All I have belongs to you! All of your drones, soar o’er the bones, The children you have set on fire

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Posted in Politics War Zone

Trump Launches EXTRAORDINARY Expletive-Ridden John McCain Rant.

Universally admired (and hated) celebrity Twitter troll Donald J. Trump has just made an extraordinary online attack on known war hero and suspected warmonger John McCain (wait, did I get that one the right way round?!) Key Twitter highlights go…

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Posted in Biz News Politics War Zone

Israel Ruins Protesters, Commits to Ruining Own Reputation

On May 5th, the United States officially moved the US embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, sparking praise from end-of-days zealots, protests from Palestinians, and a volley of bullets and tear gas from Israeli soldiers posted on the border.

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Posted in War Zone

CIA Hymnbook (IX): How Do I Love Greed

Guest post by Lisa Way. How do I love greed? Let me count the ways. I love greed to the depth and breadth and height My drones can reach, when I’m safe and out of sight.

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Posted in War Zone

Army Forgets Weapons, Loses War

The small European nation of Chevroni lost its war with the Middle Eastern nation Texico last Sunday after forgetting to bring the weapons. “It happens,” said Chevroni General Stephen Stanford. “We had them all ready to go, but then things…

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Posted in Religionism War Zone

CIA Hymnbook: Agnus Dei/Lamb of God.

So far, the CIA Hymnbook has covered many famous hymns; including Sanctus and Bendictus. And speaking of well-beloved Latin hymns, we now have the ‘Agnus Dei’ or ‘Lamb of God.’ If you’ve recently been reading The Satanic Bible or Necronomicon,…

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Posted in Politics War Zone

Little-Known Democrat Cover-Up Finally Unearthed: John Kerry Nuked the Onion!

A little known scandal from the Obama administration has recently surfaced: And it’s not an imaginary wiretap! (Or even a non-imaginary one).

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc War Zone

Professor Smiggles Smugly Condemns Fallacious Conceits of Big Humanitarianism

Some recent comments about humanitarian heroism have failed to satisfy the ever-impossible-to-please satire news fixture, Pre-Senior-Professor-Guru-Emeritus Angus Lenn(on/in)vedanta Smiggles from the Social Constructionist String Theory Department in Bushmills Metaphysical College. Notable public figure and moderate political Tory-ist William Hague moans:

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Posted in Politics War Zone

NRA Puts Flag At Half Mast For AR-15 Cut In Half By Gun Owner

In a sense of tragic loss and deep empathy, NRA Headquarters and local affiliate branches have lowered their flags to half mast in honor of an AR-15 assault rifle that was horrifyingly cut in half and destroyed by its owner.

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