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Neocon Puts the Boot into Journalist: Foot Now Halfway Up His Own Arse!

Neocon Puts the Boot into Journalist: Foot Now Halfway Up His Own Arse!

In a recent article, Justin Raimondo of Antiwar wrote about notable neocon intellectual and prominent thought-leadership advocate Max Boot’s comments on Trump: apparently, he would prefer to vote for Stalin than Donald Trump.

(So, at least he doesn’t believe in so-called ‘moral equivalence.’ He’s being a good neocon, then!)

I have no idea what Boot would be inclined to write as a letter of response; and I am not aware of any such letter. So I’m going to have to use my imagination.

(After all, it’s not just neocons & liberal interventionists who have both the power and the right to unleash the dynamism of the creative imagination!) Continue Reading

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Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (3/3)

Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (3/3)

And the utter soul-destroying horseshit goes on.

So, what else do we know about Moderate Daesh? Well, the Moderate Daeshis, just like their fellow MPIs (Moderate Political Islamists) the Muslim Brotherhood, always wear a condom…

Even when they are plunging the fear of God into the besuffered little children who are coming unto them, rather than into full grown men and big boys and their upright plastic Johnsons like you and me!!!

Moderate Daeshis, just like their fellow MPI counterparts in Tunisia, do not believe in torturing alcohol sellers to death. Continue Reading

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Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (2/3)

Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (2/3)

The drip-drip-drip of resentful gushing (or at least, the salty current of ‘that’s a bit rich!’-nesses), crabbedly flowing forth from the highly creative and dynamic pen of Dick Cheney continues to swirl and course… Continue Reading

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Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (1/3)

Dick Cheney: We Have to Put Our Backs into Seducing Moderate Daesh (1/3)

A confidential document by former dickwaver-in-chief, uh, dick waver in chief, uh, vice leader, uh, Vice President (as if!) Cheney has recently been uncovered to the world.

Well, this one has pretty much rocked all of us here at Glossy News, going forward.

Rocked us to the very marrow… Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Charismatic Leader Quiz: Who Said It? Hitler or Tony Blair? (Part 2)

Charismatic Leader Quiz: Who Said It? Hitler or Tony Blair? (Part 2)

1 And just as [they] seek to divide humanity in hate, so we have to unify it around an idea.

2. When he decides, he divides.

3. In the life of nations, what in the last resort decides questions is a kind of Judgment Court of God.

4. If freedom is short of weapons, we must compensate with willpower.

5. That’s the art of leadership. To make sure that what shouldn’t happen, doesn’t happen.

6. I want war. To me all means will be right.

7. Nobody is oppressing you. Your sense of grievance isn’t justified.

8. Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.

9. In this day and age if you’ve got the technology then it’s vital to use that technology to track people down. The number on the database should be the maximum number you can get.

And finally…

10. Our people have never been more united than today.

Answers

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Charismatic Leader Quiz: Who Said It? Hitler or Tony Blair? (Part 1)

Charismatic Leader Quiz: Who Said It? Hitler or Tony Blair? (Part 1)

1 I feel the hand of history upon our shoulders.

2 I go the way that Providence dictates with the assurance of a sleepwalker.

3 This is a sort of free democratic spirit that operates outside the convention of democracy that elections decide the government.

4 Democracy will in practice lead to the destruction of a people’s true values.

5 Today’s media, more than ever before, hunts in a pack. In these modes it is like a feral beast, just tearing people and reputations to bits.

6 Let this great man search his own heart and conscience before he accuses anyone of being a warmonger.

7 But believe one thing, if nothing else. I did what I thought was right for our country.

8 Once the whole nation again pursued a great ideal, once it was prepared to stake everything for this ideal, the hour would come when the Lord would declare our trials at an end.

9 I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.

And finally…

10 [Our country]… are special. The world knows it. In our innermost thoughts we know it. This is the greatest nation on earth.

Answers

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MRA Becomes Militant Dawah Activist

MRA Becomes Militant Dawah Activist

This is a new, previously unseen story, which I am publishing here in order to celebrate the release of The Great Flâneur Massacre. The latter satirical novella is being re-released on Amazon as part of The Great  Flâneur Narrative on May 31!

***

Rob Schiller, the whingeing tenure-cadging graduate of Wallace Runnymede’s The Great Flaneur Narrative, has started to intellectualize in a rather disturbing manner.

Indeed. Disappointed at the fact that no-one has given him a post at a university, this achingly under-appreciated lad with a crushing sense of entitlement has combined his hipster ethos with a sprinkling of jihadist rhetoric.

Schiller was already hostile to feminism, which latter he has always regarded as a maliciously counterfeit social justice movement designed purely to rob hard-working young white straight males of their rightful vocational entitlements.

So, the step to becoming a misogynist jihadist wasn’t too difficult for him to make. Continue Reading

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Batshit Woo Peddler John Kerry Declares War on Lord Xenu

Batshit Woo Peddler John Kerry Declares War on Lord Xenu

John Kerry is a man of the world, but now his flip-flopping has soared astronomically, to the point where it’s on a genuinely cosmic scale.

Yes: no longer content with threatening the leaders of weak, divided countries in the Middle East with abject destruction, Kerry is turning his achingly dynamic turrets on a higher target:

Lord Xenu!

So, let’s see where we go with this one. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News1 Comment

Empire Danger! High Bombers! (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six!)

Empire Danger! High Bombers! (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six!)

Firebombs in Baghdad!

Fire in the Middle East!

 

Firebombs in Damascus!

Fire rages from the horny beast!

 

Don’t you want to know how to set kids on fire?

It’s my desire, I’m a Tory liar! Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward famously sang ‘Don’t Let’s be Beastly to the Germans!’ As always, the dour and humorless were not impressed.

Yeah, Daily Mail link… I know! How things change in a few decades! Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else!”

US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else!”

WASHINGTON – U.S. State Department spokesman Milo Minderbinder announced today that ISIS must sign the TTIP [Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership] treaty by year’s end “or else we will retaliate with extreme prejudice. All options are on the table!”
“Terrorist organizations that control substantial assets, such as oil, should not be exempt from TTIP just because they are not recognized nation-states. TTIP is about promoting free trade, a goal that I’m sure that terrorists who specialize in decapitation videos can appreciate,” Minderbinder stated. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Bono: ‘Concert in Syria? Over My Dead Body, Lad!’

Bono: ‘Concert in Syria? Over My Dead Body, Lad!’

For some time now, people have been wondering whether Bono will be jetting off to Syria and Iraq, in order to single-handedly deliver the beleaguered citizens of these countries from the perils of war.

But he’s not having it!

C’mon lad! Just give us some bloody innovation, would ya? Not going to perform nothing in Syria, so I’m not.

Sure who cares about all this here about embattled autocratic leaders and beleaguered states struggling to find a common life amid the turmoil of age-old religious conflict? Sure if I wanted any of that there, I could just take a quick hike up North! Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Welcome to Satirical-Industrial Complex (See also New Hub Site!)

Welcome to Satirical-Industrial Complex (See also New Hub Site!)

After Neocon Surveillance and Neocon Surveillance Network, meet Satirical-Industrial Complex!

These three sites make up the Peace Criminals website trilogy (or triptych!), for which there is now a new, fairly static ‘hub’ site, which acts as a signpost to the three sites.

NS is the general critique and commentary site; it also includes opportunities for art, e.g. painting, poetry, fake news satire, other short fiction. Critique and commentary can either be satirical or ‘prose’ (i.e. solemn) commentary.

NSN is the general ‘news data’ site. Rather than polemical commentary, it provides information on anti-war protests, anniversaries, obituaries, and other factual info.

Obviously, the distinction between ‘news data’ and ‘news commentary and art’ is not absolute, but I think it’s fairly intuitive nonetheless. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone0 Comments

Song Parody: Gimme Gimme Gimme Jihad After Midnight

Song Parody: Gimme Gimme Gimme Jihad After Midnight

Just past prayers
And I’m watching haram movies in my flat all alone
How I hate to make this Dua on my own
Howling winds
Blowing outside my bowels as I munch some shrooms
And it makes me really want to make a boom

My soul is nearly there
I grunt and offer up a prayer
I twitch my brow like Tony Blairrrrr!

Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
Won’t somebody help me blast the kafrs away
Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
End Satan’s reign of terror, begin the Caliphate’s day

Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
Won’t somebody help me blast the kafrs away
Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
I’m so sick of this oppression from the Jews and the gays Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Radical Feminists Thwart Hillary’s ‘Fauxfem’ Campaign for Commander-in-Chief

Radical Feminists Thwart Hillary’s ‘Fauxfem’ Campaign for Commander-in-Chief

The Democratic Party have dismissed as ‘unjustifiably and unnecessarily contrarian’ a feminist blog which threatened to expose what the writers are calling the ‘faux-feminist’ prospects of a liberal Clinton Presidency.

The culprits have recently posted the following article:

 Clinton Dynasty or Limpet Dynasty? 

The only hope Hillary Clinton offers to women is the hope of ‘progressing’ to be a second-rate Bush or Obama or LBJ or Nixon.

If you’re saying all American women can hope and aspire to, is merely being the next Hillary, you’re trying to consign entire generations of women to an appalling fate. American women have too much intelligence, creativity and character to submit to endorsing the myth of Clinton Mobility. Continue Reading

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Neocon Surveillance & Neocon Surveillance Network are Now Online: Critique, Commentary & Satire!

Neocon Surveillance & Neocon Surveillance Network are Now Online: Critique, Commentary & Satire!

Wallace Runnymede and Appleseed Ike have recently launched Neocon Surveillance and Neocon Surveillance Network! These two anti-war and pro-peace sites provide both prose commentary and satire, in order severely and indeed mercilessly critique the current Neocon/Liberal Interventionist consensus.

A. Neocon Surveillance Network provides some basic factual data, e.g. free advertizing opportunities, news of protests, and information on anniversaries related to war and peace.

B. Neocon Surveillance, the key website of the two, is an uncompromisingly contrarian and dissident grassroots blogging outlet. As strong believers in self-criticism among pacifists and non-interventionists, a non-negotiable aspect of our critical responsibility is to explore faults in anti-war movements, organizations, texts, works of arts and individuals; rather than merely criticizing warmongers and their apologists alone. For this reason, we explicitly repudiate far-left and far-right ‘anti-war’ ideology alike.

In this spirit, we are looking for more centre-left and centre-right people (either pacifists or non-interventionists) to join our team: please email wallacerunnymede@gmail.com or appleseedike@gmail.com. If you are not sure if we are for you, or vice versa, please email us anyway, and we can discuss your possible contributions to our cause. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone1 Comment

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