Archive | Kidz Zone

Bobby Joe’s Funny Christmas Song: “Christmas My Kiddos”

Bobby Joe’s Funny Christmas Song: “Christmas My Kiddos”

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

I’m posting this on behalf of Glossy News supremo Brian K. White! Fans of the Pogues will love this affectionate (not entirely so!) song from his satirical alter ego, Bobby Joe. Continue Reading

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Championship 4: Hey Kids, NASCAR has Playoffs Too!

Championship 4: Hey Kids, NASCAR has Playoffs Too!

Martin Truex, William Byron, and Christopher Bell are SBG Global.eu’s favorites to win the last three NASCAR events of the season, each of which is known as the Championship 4 of their respective series. Continue Reading

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El Gaucho Tacoma… don’t bother, they don’t want you

El Gaucho Tacoma… don’t bother, they don’t want you

If you want a steak for $75 there’s no shortage of places you can go. Pacific Grill is across the street and grills them up nicely, and Anthony’s is down a few blocks by the water. At least at those places you won’t be dick-accosted by the manager. Continue Reading

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Pirate’s Dinner Adventure (Reviewed)

Pirate’s Dinner Adventure (Reviewed)

Pretty awesome dinner theater in Buena Park, California, just down the street from Disneyland. It’s got acrobatics, lovely maidens in distress, and pirates too!

See more adventures at another site of Brian’s:  www.CaliforniaWithKids.com.

By the way, the latter site actually has interviews with the pirates too!

So as well as the video, here are a couple of posts from California with Kids.

Explore the site for more ideas for places to go with your kids.

And keep checking the Youtube channel for updates!

Interview with the pirates from Pirate Dinner Adventure (part 1)

Interview with the pirates from Pirate Dinner Adventure (part 2)

Royalty-free music “One-Eyed Maestro” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Video News0 Comments

Bad Keming: Than K Yo u Th Ank You

Bad Keming: Than K Yo u Th Ank You

Howdy Interweb folks! I’m Bobby Joe, and this here editorial makin’ kinda guy is known to our all ‘n’ sundries as the Brian K. White.
K is also what you git in the kerning.
Now how do kerning be defined?
Glossy News Bossmaster Brian K. White just done gone tell us, on the Youtube:

Kerning is the adjustment of spacing between printed letters. This, however, is just an abomination.

Abomination? How so, say Bobby Joe?
The only ‘kerning’ y’all need to doing in yer spare timesickles is for to be kerning for yer wife, yer dawg, yer kids, ‘n’ maybe yer favorite government official, pastor, all y’all religious folks o one kind or anuther, and when the goddarn taxman men be comin’ t’ git yer guns.
Other than that, kerning can be left all them stupid highfalutin city folks wi’ their quinoa coffee ‘n’ fancy pick-ups wi’ organic engines.
This here is Bobby Joe for now! See all this here fancy pants little videowebs and share it on the social medias! Or tell yer wife or yer vacation wife where these here video do be made!

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Society, Video News0 Comments

Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno

Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno

C is for cat and E is for elephant.

Every young child in the English-speaking world knows these two basic facts, thanks to the rhymes and illustrations of children’s alphabet books.

However, it turns out, according to author Alfred Labette, that these books have not been entirely forthcoming with the younger generations since their inception.

Labette shared a little-known secret that nearly every alphabet book published since the height of the Roman Empire has skipped past the under-appreciated Elemeno.

“People assume X is the letter that gives us all the trouble,” Labette explains. “But it’s really the elusive Elemeno that makes things difficult. And no wonder it’s forgotten with how quickly we rush through that part of the song.” Alfred, or Alf to his friends, says he has approached the problem from multiple angles, including using animal names from other languages and even mythical creatures. “I’ve got some ideas brewing that are lightyears beyond any other of those sophomoric authors,” Labette declares with pride in his eyes.

A tortured soul to say the least, Labette wakes up every morning, stares at a blank piece of paper for three hours, and then pours through line after line of text on the Internet, looking for inspiration until the caffeine and vitamin B finally wear off. His deadline is fast approaching with just under three weeks to find the answer.

Still, Labette is confident he will have the first true alphabet animal book assembled and published, complete from aardvark to zorgon.

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Pokemon-Go Craze Puts U.S. Elections in Doubt

Pokemon-Go Craze Puts U.S. Elections in Doubt

NEW YORK – The incredibly addictive Pokemon-Go app, which has sent countless millions of people out into the world to stare at their cell phones more than ever, has now put the U.S. Presidential elections in doubt.

Current CNN polls show that voter turnout will be at an all-time low (17%) as millions of registered voters see little point in voting for U.S. President while there are still so many fabulous Pokemon characters out there to catch.

“There’s an election like every four years, right? But Pokemon-Go is a once-in-a-lifetime event,” said Wayne Potman, 25, of Salt Lake City. “I’m not against voting, so if I’m out that day, and there happens to be a Poke-Stop or a really cool Gym right by the voting location, then I might go in to vote. Seriously. If the line is not too long.”

Pokemon-Go creator, Niantic, has promised to seed U.S. voting locations with PokeStops and rare Pokemons in a desperate effort to boost voter turnout. “We see this as a win-win and a no-brainer,” said Niantic spokesman Jesus Angleton Dulles. “We will do our part to try to resuscitate the dying American Republic through Pokemon and Pokemon-Go.”

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Kidz Zone, Politics0 Comments

Cuddly Kitten It’sNoCan’t Invents Funny Tales to Amuse Children (Story 2)

Note: I think the following story from an anonymous source is really rather foolish, trite and lacking in serious artistic maturity.

It is excessively fantastical, it is whimsical to the point of nonsensical, and quite frankly, I am tempted to say that the author has all but wasted their time.

I do not see anything in this story other than nonsensical tomfoolery, and a pseudo-artistry which borders on the idiotic. Still, I have decided to print it anyway. See the following link:

http://glossynews.com/society/kids-zone/201511040300/funny-cat-story-explanation-more-sensible-than-the-story/

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/get-your-war-on/201511050200/cuddly-kitten-itsnocant-invents-funny-tales-to-amuse-children-story-1/

Continued from last time:

With a most congenial purr of satisfaction, It’sNoCan’t said: Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, War Zone0 Comments

Cuddly Kitten It’sNoCan’t Invents Funny Tales to Amuse Children (Story 1)

Note: I think the following story from an anonymous source is really rather foolish, trite and lacking in serious artistic maturity.

It is excessively fantastical, it is whimsical to the point of nonsensical, and quite frankly, I am tempted to say that the author has all but wasted their time.

I do not see anything in this story other than nonsensical tomfoolery, and a pseudo-artistry which borders on the idiotic. Still, I have decided to print it anyway. See the following link:

http://glossynews.com/society/kids-zone/201511040300/funny-cat-story-explanation-more-sensible-than-the-story/

Critic of feral kitty-kats, non amateur-naughty-story-theorist & professional (-ish!) moderate-political-storyteller Prim-Prim ‘Tall Story’ It’sNoCan’t…

Has recently joked that mutual enemies the Iguana Statists, the Cheeky Cuckoos and the Southpaw Cats Information Agency temporarily put aside their differences recently, and staged the Grand(-iloquently Silly) Funny Street Furfight Massacre. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, War Zone0 Comments

Funny Cat Story: Explanation (More Sensible than the Story)

Funny Cat Story: Explanation (More Sensible than the Story)

An anonymous source from Romania emailed me the ‘It’sNoCan’t’ funny cat story as an example of a typical Eastern European fairy tale.

When they contacted me, they claimed they were following a tip from a former vegetable gardener I had met on Snapchat for an impromptu professional gymnastics investment.

However, my memory is hazy about all of this (partly from the passing of many long and happy years in the recent interim), and I can’t say for sure who the person was.

In any case, my source is some kind of an anonymous person of one sort or another, so I respect their (somewhat) sincerely held artistic convictions… Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Strange People0 Comments

“Will you take $750 for that 2013 BMW?” – Helping my teenager buy her first car

“Will you take $750 for that 2013 BMW?” – Helping my teenager buy her first car

Recently I helped our younger teenage daughter, Emmy, purchase her first car. She had no idea how much used cars cost. I think she was hoping to afford a slightly used Lexus.

What she got instead was a lesson in how much cars actually cost. Emmy hates it when I mention her by name in my blog, so I will just call her “Miss Enthusiasm” – “M. E.” for short. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Society0 Comments

How Condoms are Really Used (Home School Video)

How Condoms are Really Used (Home School Video)

Condoms are funny because they are balloons guys put on their wieners, but they’re also deadly serious.

They can be the thin blue shield between you and HIV, but they also come in purple as well as they purple-in the… well, you know.

The problem is that red states, specifically home schoolers, don’t get safe sex education. They have higher rates of sexually transmitted outbreaks, higher teen pregnancy, and it also feels better for teens who don’t deserve it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Video News0 Comments

Better parenting through polling

Better parenting through polling

When it comes to parenting, I don’t always make the best decisions. I’m not always sure what the right thing to do is in a difficult situation.

Like the time our elder daughter begged and pleaded with me to let her drive the car to the mall. It was a sunny day. Traffic was light. And she had behaved extremely well all week long. So against my better judgment, I said okay. Two minutes later, she smashed the car into a stop sign barely 100 yards from our driveway. A part of me can’t help but wonder whether in retrospect I made a mistake giving in to the incessant pleadings of an eight-year-old to drive my minivan. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Opinion/Editorial0 Comments

Philae Lander Voted “Bouncy House Of The Year”

Philae Lander Voted “Bouncy House Of The Year”

Physics Today, the flagship journal of the American Institute of Physics, has announced the ESA Philae lander is the first winner in a new category in their annual awards for breakthroughs in physics, “Bouncy House Of The Year”.

“This year saw many breakthroughs, but the one that stood out from all the rest was the ESA’s repeated and successful bouncing of their 2 billion dollar lander on the comet 67P, lodging it on it’s side under a cliff, and rendering the lander useless and impotent to science” said AIP President Justin Fundworthy.

“By bouncing the lander several times yet remaining on the surface, the Rosetta and Philae team have proven when future human comet colonist rent a bouncy house for their childrens birthday parties, the bouncy house will not fly off into space” said Harry Johnson, editor of PhysicsWorld.com.

“It’s been an exciting year for physics, we commend the work of the nine runners-up but it’s hard to beat a good bouncy house GIF” said Dr. Johnson.

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Science, Science & Technologizzy, Technology, Top Stories1 Comment

The Serious Semi-History of a Semi-Viral Video

The Serious Semi-History of a Semi-Viral Video

Last night I signed a contract for what may be considered a viral video. Might be the next big thing, who knows.

The road to get here was long and strange, though 99% of it happened in the last day, so I’ll detail it here. Try to keep up. God knows I haven’t been able to. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Video News1 Comment

Gambling Classes to be Added to School Curriculum in 5 Different States

Gambling Classes to be Added to School Curriculum in 5 Different States

Stop complaining that school doesn’t prepare you for real life.

“The Real World, Real Skills Bill” has finally passed through the senate — adding gambling classes to the core curriculum of five states. The teachers are abuzz, students are excited and parents are desperately trying to figure out how they, themselves, can enroll. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Kidz Zone0 Comments

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