No Sleaze Please, We’re British! Tortured Hollywood Supremo’s Wrongful Sex Arrest in Red Light London!


[Ed: If ever a Hollywood sleaze story deserved a share, it’s this one! Absolutely unbelievable! Hold on to yer… whatever].
In a move that will shock many fans and devotees of the IHIC (Inspirational Hollywood Intellectual Community), stellar film producer Rick Earle has been arrested in London’s red light area. Read more No Sleaze Please, We’re British! Tortured Hollywood Supremo’s Wrongful Sex Arrest in Red Light London!

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Ghost of PT Barnum Watches Screener of ‘The Greatest Showman,’ Commits to Haunting Hugh Jackman


Famed circus man and sensationalist P.T. Barnum was resurrected last week, coughing and spitting as he was reanimated from his sarcophagus, to watch a bootleg screener of “The Greatest Showman” starring Hugh Wolverine. To say he wasn’t impressed would be to undersell the greatest showman who ever lived, died, and lived again, however briefly. Read more Ghost of PT Barnum Watches Screener of ‘The Greatest Showman,’ Commits to Haunting Hugh Jackman

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A Star is Fallen? FBI Investigate Robert De Niro for Donald Trump Death Threats

Renowned actor Robert De Niro is known not only for his role in the Godfather movies, but also his vociferous criticism of Donald Trump.
However, things seem to have taken a sour turn, as the FBI investigate him for allegedly threatening to assassinate the President. Read more A Star is Fallen? FBI Investigate Robert De Niro for Donald Trump Death Threats

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Most Recent Updates for Bobby Joe Movie: And How Can You Help Our Satire Site and Future Projects?

Recently, there was a successful crowdfunding campaign for the Bobby Joe Movie.

This is the editor’s own project: thanks for your support everyone!

And here’s the most recent update, from earlier this month. Read more Most Recent Updates for Bobby Joe Movie: And How Can You Help Our Satire Site and Future Projects?

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Disney Studios Rooting for the Empire in Future Star Wars Films, says Hollywood insider

Dateline: BURBANK—Disney Studios is rooting for the Empire to defeat the rebels in its upcoming Star Wars films, according to Hollywood insider Wily Hangeron. (Be warned that spoilers for The Last Jedi follow.)
Read more Disney Studios Rooting for the Empire in Future Star Wars Films, says Hollywood insider

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Hollywood’s Schlocky Movies are Payback for China’s Shoddy Merchandise, says Industry Insider

Dateline: HOLLYWOOD—The American movie industry has been releasing the simplest, dumbest possible movies for overseas markets, especially in China, to pay back the Chinese for flooding the American market with shoddy merchandise, according to Hollywood insider, Wily Hangeron.
Read more Hollywood’s Schlocky Movies are Payback for China’s Shoddy Merchandise, says Industry Insider

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Hollywood Reboots itself, Giving Creative Class over Movie Executives and Producers

Dateline: HOLLYWOOD—After having rebooted all of its hit movies from past decades, Hollywood has finally gotten around to rebooting itself.

The schedule for the reboots consists of a long actual list for of movies to be remade for foreign and domestic audiences that have low standards. Somehow the movie industry found itself on that list.
Read more Hollywood Reboots itself, Giving Creative Class over Movie Executives and Producers

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Kickstarter for Funny Mockumentary Movie: Are You Gonna Help Sponsor Bobby Joe?

Bobby Joe is the lovable (and equally hateable?) well-meaning redneck from the ‘How It’s REALLY Made’ Documentaries!

Scroll through the playlist just linked to above, and find various funny mockumentaries, as well as two funny trailers for the movie.

That’s right!

He also has a movie coming out…! Read more Kickstarter for Funny Mockumentary Movie: Are You Gonna Help Sponsor Bobby Joe?

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GlossyNews movie is done, we need your help!

The GlossyNews exclusive “How Bobby Joe: the Movie” is in the final stages of post-production, but we need your help to get it distributed! Video below, but check us out on Kickstarter

Check it out, maybe consider throwing in a couple bucks, but if not, you know, at least thanks for watching! Read more GlossyNews movie is done, we need your help!

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Crazy Cannibal Hannibal Lecter Disgusted He Can’t ‘Take a Knee’ at NFL Matches

Notorious violent extremist and culinary-diverse social mayhem warrior Hannibal Lecter is “disgusted” and “repulsed” at being forbidden to take a knee from NFL players.

I’ve lived in this country so long, I’ve contributed all I have.

I’ve never just decided to take, take, take…

Well, apart from the odd spare rib.

Or ankle, or toe, or something.

But who cares?

This is the USA, and if I’m not allowed to take a knee, then I don’t recognise this country any more.

Surely it’s all about individual liberty?

What kind of ‘freedom’ is this, when I’m not even allowed to have a cheeky Nando’s, er, cheeky chomp on the ankle of my BNFLF?

It starts off with the cannibals, but it never ends with the cannibals.

Those who burn cannibals will soon burn terrorists and Nazis.

Culinary diversity truly is our greatest strength!

Justin Trudeau loving quacks:

It is a source of great grief and disappointment that Mr Lecter’s contributions to the rich culinary diversity of America have not met with full approval or even indiscriminate, hysterically flamboyant celebration from his peers.

Mr Lecter, you are always welcome in Canada.

Kraft Durch Diversität!

Some, however, argue that while pluralism is a good thing, you still have to draw the line somewhere.

Some might say that eating other human beings is as good a line as any!

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