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4K Glossy News PODCAST 053 (7-25-16)

4K Glossy News PODCAST 053 (7-25-16)

The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with guest hosting special thanks to Ty The Voice guy from www.tythevoiceguy.webs.com – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAD-bZYukrAef732gxP84NA

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are just some of the topics covered in the the July 25th, 2016 edition.

* Netflix would be WAY better if it had a preview channel. Not just offering a trailer here and there, but an unending stream of trailers based first on your suggested videos, then expanding to show all sorts of things. Allow us to give the thumbs up or down, or add it to our playlist. So much better than just trying to filter through everything.

* How high do professional fireworks shows go up in the air? The answer may surprise you, or more likely, just confuse you, since the numbers only sort of make sense anyhow and there’s math involved. Plus you’d have to know what fireworks they’re actually using.

* Exclusive telephone interview with Bill Clinton!!! He dishes about the upcoming election and shares his thoughts on the candidates and who you should vote for.

* Meet the man with a real life super power of finding and controlling the natural behavior of mosquitoes.

* Why in the heck does the History Channel insist on measuring everything in football fields and Olympic Swimming pools? It’s confusing at best, but more likely, just a bit dishonest. They SAY football fields, but they want us to THINK football stadiums. It makes it sound bigger than it is. Just give me the facts, man.

Listen to it



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Segment bumpers and background music by Greg the Hero Facebook.com/gregtheheromusic. Royalty Free Music “Your Call” and “Funkorama” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com.

Posted in Talky Pictures, Video News0 Comments

Freddy Mercury “Entirely Unsuitable” for Benjamin Disraeli Biopic

Freddy Mercury “Entirely Unsuitable” for Benjamin Disraeli Biopic

The new Freddie Mercury biopic proceeds apace. Various news reports reminded us of how Sacha Baron Cohen will not be playing the role of Freddie Mercury in this film after all. It seems that Cohen’s vision of the film was that of an anarchic Swiftian livewire, but not everyone agreed with his approach. Classic example of ‘artistic differences.’

http://europe.newsweek.com/sacha-baron-cohen-opens-about-leaving-freddie-mercury-movie-435420?rm=eu

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/leisure/showbiz/14335159.Sacha_Baron_Cohen_reveals_dispute_with_Queen_made_him_quit_playing_Freddie_Mercury_in_upcoming_biopic/ 

But Brian May has recently revealed that Freddie Mercury once found himself in a very similar situation for the previously little known Francis Ford Coppola biopic of Disraeli. The latter edgy arthouse flick, by now, is ignobly confined to late night History Channel re-runs and David Cameron’s ludicrously antiquated and irrelevant stash of Betamax Z-movies.

The director had high hopes for Freddie, but before long, tempers started fraying. Disraeli was known for his ‘top bants’ in Parliament, as is well enough known… Continue Reading

Posted in Music, Talky Pictures0 Comments

New Star Wars Film Spoilers! Yes, I Am Mean Enough To Ruin It For You!  Bwhaaa, haaa, haaa, haaa!

New Star Wars Film Spoilers! Yes, I Am Mean Enough To Ruin It For You! Bwhaaa, haaa, haaa, haaa!

Bwaaa Haaa Haaa Haaa!

The POWER that comes with being one of the first ones to see the new Star Wars movie!
It is like being showered with the Dark Side of the Force!!!!!!

Bwaaa Haaa Haaa Haaa!

Yes, Hans Solo does come back in this new film- using a walker to get around. He finds the two new characters in his precious Millennium Falcon and yells out to them “Hey you kids! Get off my ship!” Then his dentures fall out and you can only hear him yelling in a voice that sounds as unintelligible as Chewbacca’s. Continue Reading

Posted in Entertainment, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Hoo-Wee! You Should See The Conditions Disney Made For Making The New Star Wars Film!

Hoo-Wee! You Should See The Conditions Disney Made For Making The New Star Wars Film!

The independent expose website Wakileaks has gotten hold of the original contractual agreement the Disney Corporation demanded that Director Abrams agree to before filming the new, highly anticipated and already over hyped Star Wars movie. Wakileaks then leaked it out to us, the rabid Star Wars film fanatics who are waiting with baited breath and fanged teeth for its Dec. 18th release.

Highest on the list was there had to be a love story inherent in the plot; a device Disney has used ad nauseam since it began making feature length films in the forties (with the exception of Old Yeller, Tron, a couple of its cartoons and that Living Desert film from the ’60s.) Continue Reading

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Good God No! Disney Has Turned Star Wars Into A Musical!

Good God No! Disney Has Turned Star Wars Into A Musical!

Unbeknownst to the press and we Star Wars geeks, Disney has insisted that Director J.J. Abrams make the upcoming seventh installment of the Star Wars mega-franchise a musical, hoping to continue Disney’s legacy of hit making song and dance movies such as Mary Poppins and Frozen.

Abrams was fiercely opposed to this idea until made to think otherwise by an oversized Wookie henchman who threatened to rip his arms off.

Bringing in the musical team that put together the lyrics and sound to go with them for Disney’s big hit Frozen, the creators have come up with the following tunes that were covertly given to us by a disgruntled Jawa from the new film Wikileaks style. Continue Reading

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The Best and Worst Celebrity Commercials

The Best and Worst Celebrity Commercials

Celebrity endorsements have the power to make or break a brand. Choose the right hunk in tight trousers and an inability to remember where he left his t-shirt and you’ll shift bottles of aftershave. Similarly, choose an international star like Sylvester Stallone, take him out of his Hollywood mansion, fly him to a small northern town in England and make him pretend to love bread and you can take your brand to new heights.

Of course, celebrity endorsements and commercials don’t always hit the mark. In fact, sometimes the use of a certain “star” can lead the online world’s trusty flock of easily offended Twitter lovers to crow about the injustice of celebrity X being used as a marketing tool. Continue Reading

Posted in Talky Pictures, Television0 Comments

Mad Max Maxes Out His Street Cred In… WHERE DID YOU SAY???

Mad Max Maxes Out His Street Cred In… WHERE DID YOU SAY???

Just saw the latest Mad Max movie.

WOWZER!!!

SUPER GROOVY!!!

COWABUNGA!!!

Mad Max just made it back to the screen after a hiatus of only 30 YEARS!!!!!

Mel Gibson got the sack. Too old. Too racist. Can’t have no one who is out saving aborigine kids in the outback being a racist now. Especially with Tina Turner somewhere in the wings waiting to do a cameo. Continue Reading

Posted in Talky Pictures2 Comments

A Serial Ponytail Yanker’s Lasso of Truth Interview [Full Censored Transcript, 13 April 2015]

A Serial Ponytail Yanker’s Lasso of Truth Interview [Full Censored Transcript, 13 April 2015]

Caption Text Goes Here: Honest John: Under the influence of the Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

This shocking suppressed interview with the prime minister of the New Zealand realm, John Phillip Key (AKA ‘the Smiling Assassin’), delves deeper into the reasons underpinning the bullying of a waitress by the country’s leader. It was conducted by The New Zealand Herald’s editor, Shayne Currie, who had his ‘plumber mates’ break in to the world headquarters of Snoopman News Group to steal the most coveted treasure of the media world, Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

Snoopman News learned who was behind the break-in, because journalists can’t keep secrets. We confronted Currie, who disclosed that because his newspaper had the scoop on the story of New Zealand’s prime minister’s ponytail-pulling harassment, he said it was crucial to know the truth to better keep track of how it was going to be bent, since gossip columnist Rachel Glucina would create a warped narrative to protect the prime minister.

=====================

Shayne Currie:
I’ve read a draft of Amanda Bailey’s [the harassed waitress] account. She mentions the power disparity at play, wherein she is a waitress, and you’re the prime minister, with the protection of two body-guards and in the company of your wife on each of your visits to the Hip Group franchised café, Rosie. She asserts that after you’d pulled her ponytail on numerous occasions, and she’d made it clear by her body language that she didn’t like having her hair pulled, you continued to tug her ponytail. Why did you repeatedly pull waitress Amanda Bailey’s hair like a naughty three year-old?

steve2

Operation Ponytail: ‘The Ponytail Girl’ was used to to test a new political technique – Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC).

John Key: [Chuckles] One reason is we’re experimenting with a new touchy-feely public relations model called Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC), which takes the manipulation of politicians kissing babies to ‘next level’. As you know, National’s [Key’s political party] public relations firm is Crosby Textor. It’s a bit of an Anglo-Saxon political party favourite. Crosby Textor noticed I had a slight hair fetish, called Trichophilia, especially for young fillies, and they saw how we could exploit it by morphing it into the ‘Nice Guy Key’ Brand that we had manufactured for my political assent.

SC: So, Crosby Textor figured this new ‘stock in political-horse trade’ trick could make the Trichophilia appear like fatherly affection, care and attention?

steve3 JK: Exactly! It was genius.

A Fetish Outing: People thought it was wee bit weird

But didn’t realise this behaviour going ‘next level’.

But didn’t realise this behaviour going ‘next level’.

SC: But, how would the serial hair-pulling of a waitress help your political party’s re-election bid and beyond? I mean, the waitress claims that she became more direct with her brush-offs, and you then pretended it was your wife Bronagh doing the hair-pulling. Was that like a change of game plan to get ‘a rise’ [heighten the tension] out of her, so you could brag about it with your investment class supporters?

JK: Yep. The idea was that I’d push it into a public social setting, where I’d get more, more, more, you know, triple-more tipsy and brag about my antics-before and after-dark – for hours – because as Bill English has told journalists, I love to natter at length because I have a big ego.

SC: Let me get this straight. Brag to who exactly?

JK: Brag to National’s hardcore primary constituency, the big donors, who take ‘male entitlement’ as a given, since the term actually means boys and men expect women to serve and be submissive to jerks like us.

SC: But, why?

JK: My antics were signaling to male capitalists that I have the politics of the struggling working class firmly in hand.

This was especially important to do after getting the Employment Relations Amendment bill passed into law last year, which Bronagh and I needed to fire our house-cleaner because she did nothing around our thirteen million-dollar mansion, as I mentioned to the president of the New Zealand Council of Trade Unions Helen Kelly when she met me to express concerns over the employment bill.

So bragging about my ponytail pulling antics made my bad-ass reputation among the Male Entitlement Fraternity [or ‘the Old Boys Network’] shoot upward.

SC: So, the audience for the hair-tugging antics was like an inside track while the wider public crowd only saw the Nice Guy Key stuff.

JK: Yup. We dubbed it Split Enz. [Key guffawing and snorting]

SC: Mean. What about contingencies?

More Cat than Prime Minister: English comedian John Oliver mocks ‘no drama’ John Key for his creepy serial bullying.

More Cat than Prime Minister: English comedian John Oliver mocks ‘no drama’ John Key for his creepy serial bullying.

JK: If my hair-yanking antics went wrong, I’d have that triple-more tipsy cover-story and I could say ‘I was just horsing around’. [Extensive chuckling by both 11 year-old men]

IdealWorldKeyPonyTailHorse.png goes here

Caption Text Goes Here – Horsing Around: John Key’s public relations firm, Crosby Textor, likes cheesy puns.

SC: So, you’re saying National insiders and Crosby Textor conspired to target a waitress and harass her to the limit?

JK: Hell yes! We called it Operation Ponytail. We capitalists love to torment muggles and hobbits, because they actually have to work to survive, since over the last 10 centuries we’ve driven them off their native lands the world-over. [Currie sniggering and sounds of him scribbling notes]. That’s the story that J.K. Rowling and Peter Jackson have failed to tell in their epic sagas.

SC: Where was Bronagh [John Key’s wife] in all this?

JK: Bronagh would tell me to stop it and leave the poor girl alone. And then the waitress chick told my body-guards she’d ‘one day snap and punch me in the face.’ At a subsequent encounter, as I was settling the bill with an autographed cheque that I know they’ll never cash – like Dali used to do – and I approached ‘the ponytail girl’, making the Jaws theme tune, with my hands raised high like I was trying to ‘get a tug on’ [or yanking her hair]. She asked, “is it self defence, with your security here, if I have to physically stop you from touching me?” And I grinned my Smiling Assassin grin [Lengthy chuckling on BASF tape], and I countered, “defence against what?”, guffawed Key.

JK’s Apology Wine: Waitress says New Zealand’s PM gave her these bottles to feign sincerity.

JK’s Apology Wine: Waitress says New Zealand’s PM gave her these bottles to feign sincerity.

SC: That… sounds psychopathic. [Currie snickering, Key snorting]. So, you’re not concerned that this Ponytail scandal unravels Brand Key?

JK: Look, you know as well as I do that New Zealand’s mainstream media pull their punches when it comes to me and my pro-corporate party. The Parliamentary Press Corp are still under my spell since that time I charmed them with a cake I made on a flight aboard an Air Force Orion transporter to China in April 2013. The reef fish [parliament-beat reporters] contracted a variation of Stockholm Syndrome and behaved like five year-olds at a birthday party.They still feel weird about it when they brush their teeth.

SC: I mean, Nicky Hager’s book Dirty Politics exposed your political party’s two-track communications strategy, wherein your party machine manufactured your ‘Nice Guy’ persona, while the same machine outsourced dirty political attacks to right wing bloggers, with the complicity of the mainstream media.

JK: Yes. And your newspaper was complicit in that process Shayne, so stop trying to occupy the middle cross among ‘sinners’.

SC: And your political party pursued that two-track communications strategy knowing it would hurt left-wing political parties first because ‘lefty’ voters tend to have sissy feelings about everythi-

JK: Including the homo idea that politics ought to be fair, mature and above-board. Look, when we survived the Dirty Politics scandal through the last election campaign, our first thought was how do we capitalize on how zoned out the New Zealand population is and amplify it even more.

SC: Even for an ex-London and Wall Street banker, taking such risks seems out of proportion to the pay-off.

JK: Well, besides being an enormous amount of fun, you have to understand that New Zealand is treated like a lab by the rulers of the world, the Illuminati, who have an obsessive-compulsive disorder to embody the Cult of World Domination. The Illuminati have been variously identified over time as, the Fraternity, the Grid, and the Committee of 300 [They self-identify as the Olympiards, according to former MI6 agent, John Coleman].

steve8

Knowing his Place: Key didn’t dare tug on the royal ponytail of Princess Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (AKA Kate Middleton) during the landlord’s inspection of the New Zealand realm in 2014.

 

SC: So, muggles and hobbits are conditioned to think it’s just conspiracy theory that there’s a group behind the curtain, like in The Wizard of Oz, manipulating events and steering the world along toward colliding crises?

JK: Pretty much. The movie The Usual Suspects, starring Kevin Spacey, is a cult-classic in the National party. We’ve taken the line, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”, as a mantra.

SC: [Sniggering] How do you avoid getting confused between what is true and the lies you fabricate?

JK: Awww look, you need to use the truth as your reference point for ‘managing the optics’. There’s no doubt about it, lying gets complicated without such reference points first being surveyed to maintain the inherent logic of the copies of reality being manufactured. That holds true for any practitioners of ‘speed politics’ who possess a significant command of resources, as scholar in International Law Eric Wilson argues in Crimes Against Reality.

SC: So, what is it with the hair fetish?

JK: To be honest, since you have me tied up and I feel weirdly compelled to tell the truth for once, Amanda has a very tantalising ponytail. I like it when girls wear ponytails because of the way their neck looks, especially when they have that neck hair that won’t reach into the ponytail. [Pause] My party’s public relations firm Crosby Textor told me to add, ‘I’m wondering if I’m a bit gay or something? Go figure!’ Because they said that would rebuild sympathy with female voters. New Zealanders are such sucker-luckers for my manufactured down-to-earth persona.

Trick or Trichophilia: Convincing the world he is Nice Guy Key since 2006.

Trick or Trichophilia: Convincing the world he is Nice Guy Key since 2006.

SC: I’m going to loosen the rope so you can be ‘a-large’ again.

[As the interview ends, sounds of Key caressing and sniffing the rope can be heard]

JK: Is the rope made of hemp, or horse-hair?

SC: Ponytail hair.

JK: Filly girl’s hair? [Sounding excited]

SC: It may be make-believe girl’s hair or make-real girl’s hair. Whatever optical fantasy you want it to be John. We’re all in this together.

JK: Neigh! [Sounds of Key scuffing his shoe on the carpet

steve9

Posted in Talky Pictures, Top Stories0 Comments

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

St. Louis, Missouri – As the newest Ghostbusters film comes closer to fruition, more and more companies are releasing products that, in thought, will appeal to the everyday consumer who doubles as a Ghostbusterian.

The latest household name to join in on the ghost hunt? The Nestlé Purina PetCare Company with an innovative treat, featuring a new take on their original Beggin’ Strips that have gone unchanged since they debuted in 1993.

The new product, known as Bagans Strips, are still catered towards dogs and are named after the late TV star and former host of the Travel Channel series, Ghost Adventurers, Zak Bagans. Continue Reading

Posted in Human Interest, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Harper Lee to publish sci-fi inspired “To Kill a Mockingbird” sequel

Harper Lee to publish sci-fi inspired “To Kill a Mockingbird” sequel

Over 50 years after her last novel, it was announced today that reclusive author Harper Lee will have a new title gracing bookshelves later this year.

Mockingbird II: The Revenge is currently set for a blockbuster Summer 2015 release. Asked why the decision to release a sequel now after so many years, Lee responded simply with the word, “cash.”

A graphic companion novel entitled 2 Kill 2 Mockingbirdz is also rumored to be in the works, as well as a Mockingbird-themed mobile app for iOS and Android. Continue Reading

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Talky Pictures1 Comment

Glossy News In Deep Doo-Doo Over Disney- Star Wars Movie Hacking

Glossy News In Deep Doo-Doo Over Disney- Star Wars Movie Hacking

Glossy News, a top genetically altered news website on the Internet, has suddenly found itself in over its head in a lawsuit filed by the behemoth Disney Corporation.

It seems that Glossy last month published an article exposing the top secret plot outline for the new Star Wars movie, the first in an alleged trilogy of the famous Sci Fi series (see ‘SCOOP- Glossy News Gets The Script For The New Disney Star Wars Movie’ from Dec. 3, 2014). Continue Reading

Posted in Talky Pictures0 Comments

America Responds To Kim Jong Un; “Thank You For Saving Us From Watching This Stupid Stoner Movie”

America Responds To Kim Jong Un; “Thank You For Saving Us From Watching This Stupid Stoner Movie”

Americans were especially thankful to North Korea and Kim Jong Un this Holiday season for saving them from watching yet another stupid pot-head movie.

“It saved me ten bucks in ticket prices and another eight in popcorn and soda,” stated John Gawker from Greeley Colorado. “Watching movies like this is like riding a sled downhill and purposely plowing into trees! It gives you the same sort of headache.” Continue Reading

Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures3 Comments

Sony Counter-Hacks North Korea: All 23 Computers Go Dark

Sony Counter-Hacks North Korea: All 23 Computers Go Dark

On December 21st the entire Internet in North Korea was shut down by a major cyber attack. (Note- a major cyber attack in the Communist state would be the equivalent of accidentally pulling out your plug on an old Commodore computer in any other country, say Peru). Continue Reading

Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures3 Comments

Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea

Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea

Prominent, but still sub-viral site GlossyNews.com has launched a Go Fund Me campaign to create a free-to-dowload video criticizing the regime.

The goal is to create a wicked, biting satirical film criticizing the totalitarian dynastic regime in North Korea.

The film would feature paid actors, paid crew and a tight production schedule. Continue Reading

Posted in Talky Pictures, World News1 Comment

North Korea Bankrupt After Costs from Sony Hack

North Korea Bankrupt After Costs from Sony Hack

North Korea has gone bankrupt from its massive hacking assault on Sony Pictures.

The intrusion into the depths of Sony’s Corporation was ignited by their new film ‘The Interview’ which features two bumbling tabloid newsmen who are given the mission of assassinating North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un.

This indiscretion infuriated the real Jong Un who immediately funneled the entire countries anemic economy into the hacking barrage that exposed many of Sony’s secret files including high level employee wages (which shocked Jong Un in that one executive’s salary alone equals the entire gross national product of North Korea for a year), insulting emails about famous stars (which also encindered the Prez as some were about his secret fantasy love Jennifer Aniston), and photos of Seth Rogen in his underwear (which the Exalted One kept for his private collection). Continue Reading

Posted in Talky Pictures, War Zone0 Comments

SCOOP! Glossy News Gets Script from New Disney Star Wars Movie!

SCOOP! Glossy News Gets Script from New Disney Star Wars Movie!

Forget the stingy, 88-minute trailer just put out, we got the real scoop!

Our intrepid, rat-like reporters just got the biggest story of the whole millennium (and that includes the Millennium Falcon!)- we copped the script from the new Star Wars movie still in production!

Here is a summary of the plot: Continue Reading

Posted in Entertainment, Talky Pictures0 Comments

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