Famed Egyptian director, Khairy Beshara, has announced his plan to film a number of features about an undead Hosni Mubarak who wreaks havoc on his countrymen.  The first in the horror series will be Curse of Mubarak The Mummy: A New Arab Awakening.

“I got the idea while I was staring into Mubarak’s cage: What will happen if he dies during his trial? There will be no justice,” says Beshara, who promises justice will be served in full force in the movies. Continue Reading

Although the criminal case against accused gunman, Jared Lee Loughner, is just beginning, one thing is for certain, he’s going to prison. And if the administrators over at the infamous Supermax facility in Fremont County, Colorado have anything to say about it, he’ll be doing his time with them, where sources say he’s already being considered for a part in their prison production of The Addams Family musical. Continue Reading

The 2010 surprise Sundance hit was a film called Catfish, a tale of an internet relationship gone horrible sideways. Apparently the name “Sideways” was already taken, and since the producers didn’t want to just declare it an outright hoax, they named it after a bottom-feeder, since that ugly moniker was somehow also perfectly fitting.

So it’s a good film, and one worth watching… did I get that out of the way? Okay good. Now here’s the rest of the story… Continue Reading

Venice Beach, CA – GlossyNews.com: Lindsay Lohan may have kicked the drug habit, but it seems ex-girlfriend DJ Sam Ronson is too powerful to quit. It’s being reported that, fresh from rehab, she’s out jonesing for more of that mysterious Ronson love, as she’s moved right in to the Malibu house next door to hers.

Lindsay Lohan, famous for being infamous, is rumored to at one time have been a child actor, starring in films like “Herbie, Fully Loaded,” “Freaky Friday”, and that one about the jewel thief, I think. Continue Reading

This normally quiet Midwestern town has been shaken to its foundation in recent days, due to the shocking news of a traitor at work among its peaceful, tree lined streets.

At issue is Ms. Wanda Carlson’s latest writing in the Tri-City Dispatch. In her usually well received ‘Pass the Popcorn’ column Carlson began, “Me and Harv went to see that ‘True Grit’ thing and I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a competent remake of a formulaic Western.” Continue Reading

If you’ve ever seen a movie, then you’ve seen the late, great Pete Postlethwaite. It was announced today that curtains have finally been called on the greatest performance of his life – that of his life itself.

Postlethwaite had been battling cancer of an as yet undisclosed type when he quietly died in his bed. Continue Reading

Since it bought out the new, hot running Marvel Comic Movie Studio responsible for such blockbuster hits as Spider-Man, Iron Man and the X Men series, Disney Corporation has begun to institute major changes into the Marvel superheroes to bring them into the ‘Disneyesque’ way of doing things.

Too used to exaggerated violence, slinky sexy costumes and weird, non-earthly enemies, the superheroes were having a hard time conforming to the Disney way of doing things. Continue Reading

Dick Cheney returns to the worlds spotlight this week as he appears in his first movie part–reprising the unforgettable Peter Sellers role of Dr. Strangelove in the remake of the Stanley Kubrik movie of the same name.

Sellers made cinematic history as the wheelchair-bound, ex-Nazi atomic physicist who has a problem trying to keep his right hand from making the famous “Heil Hitler” salute. Cheney, considered a natural for the role, is reported to have needed few acting lessons to ‘become’ Strangelove. Continue Reading

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (Glossy News) — The rights for the 1954 movie Seven Brides for Seven Brothers , long ago lost, have fallen into Public Domain. As such, it can be remade or have its title used by anyone without having to pay any royalties to the original writer or production company. Seven different film producers are scrambling to see that their movie is the first to hit the big screen.

The original movie tells the story of the Pontipee brothers, who kidnap a group of girls to become their wives. As they live in backwoods Oregon in the 1850′s, and an avalanche traps them on their farm on the other side of a mountain range, the girls cannot be rescued and fall in love with their kidnappers before their fathers get to them. Continue Reading

Inspired by the success and the popularity of Marvel Comics ‘Iron Man’ movie series, Dick Cheney has decided to use the millions he gathered during his tenure as the head of Halliburton and as the shadow head of the United States of America to reinvent himself as a new superhero- Oil Man.

Tired of being seen as just another greedy bastard who could do whatever he wanted he now wanted to be another greedy bastard with super powers who could do whatever he wanted. Continue Reading

LOS ANGELES, California – After acheiving Blockbuster success with his film “Inception,” writer/director Christopher Nolan has done it again.  Critics and fans are already hailing his new film as the greatest ever made.  It has already made many critics favorites lists this year and is even ranked #1 on IMDB’s Top 250.

“It’s incredible that one filmmaker can have so much talent,” said online film reviewer Craig Mitchell. “Finally a reason to go to the movies.” Continue Reading

Witnesses claim a shadowy figure identified as Fox News agitator, professional racist, Tea Party provocateur and self-anointed Godsend, Glenn Beck, was seen moving in and out of the visitation chambers of Corcoran State Prison recently. The target of his attention? None other than 75 year old serial killer and 60’s counterculture hero Charles Manson, or “Ol’ Koo Koo” as he is affectionately known by other inmates. Tawdry Soup was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with the time-stopping psychedelic psycho to find out, “What’s Up?” It went like this: Continue Reading

The Learning Channel keeps coming up with bigger and better ideas to try and garner the lion’s share of ratings in the reality television business. With Bravo shows such as the wildly famous “Real Housewives” series and “Chef” series, it is getting increasingly difficult to keep up.

But TLC has come up with a plan to change all that. They’ve come up with a new concept that should have them back on top in no time. It’s called the “throw it all in the pot and see what comes out cookin” plan. Their idea is based on the theory that if one good idea will get a share of the ratings, teaming up two or three good ideas together will get a lot more ratings. Instead of shooting a series of shows all on one subject, TLC is going to combine several of their popular shows into super-specials to be aired around the holidays. Continue Reading

Faced with rising public clamor for more 3-D products, US researchers at federal facilities have pressed hard to deliver the world in full, three dimensional viewing. Invigorated by a recent grant of over $100 billion dollars, head scientists feel they can soon fulfill the Obama administration’s promise for “a change you can believe in.” Continue Reading

HOLLYWOOD (GlossyNews) — Citing a lack of sufficient funds for a proper burial, the ex-wife of actor Gary Coleman sold photos of the little guy’s casket to three tabloid magazines for about $500.00 in order to send him off right! Last week the checks finally arrived and little Gary was laid to rest. Continue Reading

Disney Corporation has made another great stride in its endeavor to control all possible realms of consumer fantasy. With a buyout of $4 billion in cash and stocks, the great Mickey has bought the upstart Marvel Comics franchise, the famous comic book non-conformists who created such legendary neo-mythical figures as the Hulk, Spiderman, Iron Man, the X-Men and other such spandex-clad heroes of our childhood. Continue Reading