Archive | Talky Pictures

Disney Tries Bold Corporate Takeover Of Entire Worlds Of Fantasy

Disney Tries Bold Corporate Takeover Of Entire Worlds Of Fantasy

Disney Corporation has made another great stride in its endeavor to control all possible realms of consumer fantasy. With a buyout of $4 billion in cash and stocks, the great Mickey has bought the upstart Marvel Comics franchise, the famous comic book non-conformists who created such legendary neo-mythical figures as the Hulk, Spiderman, Iron Man, the X-Men and other such spandex-clad heroes of our childhood. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Movie Review: ‘South of the Border’ is Dumb

Movie Review: ‘South of the Border’ is Dumb

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brasil (NovedadesGlossy) US opening weekend, the new Oliver Stone documentary grossed $21,545. Don’t let that low gross fool you; this film is highly gross. It’s grosser than naked pictures of Woody Allen.

The movie is Mr. Stone running around South America talking to politicians. Talk, talk, talk and it goes on for hours like that! Oh sure, there’s a little bit about some villages getting electricity, and that is a great thing. When I imagine those poor girls living in villages without blow driers, it about makes me cry. Don’t be thinking there’s much of that in ‘South of the Border’ though. It’s mostly ugly fat guys talking. Continue Reading

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Posted in Talky Pictures, Travel0 Comments

Kevin Smith Made to Purchase Two Seats at Sushi Bar

Kevin Smith Made to Purchase Two Seats at Sushi Bar

LOS ANGELES – The next time Kevin Smith visits If It Smells Like Fish, his favorite sushi bar in L.A., he will have to purchase two seats. According to a source close to Mr. Smith—or as close to him as one can get—Benny Hanna, manager of the popular eatery, informed the mountainous director of the decision by e-mail yesterday. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Birthers — Less Relevant than David Cassidy?

Birthers — Less Relevant than David Cassidy?

Mexicali, BC, Mex (Noticias Mexicanas) In these troubled economic times, some doubt the old paradigms of Democrat and Republican remain relevant, pointing to ever growing fragmentation on both ends of the political spectrum. Their thesis seemed to gain credence this week, in the splintering of yet another splinter group. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Liz Cheney Calls Rachel Maddow “Hot”

Liz Cheney Calls Rachel Maddow “Hot”

This past week the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) got underway in Washington, D.C., and there were no real surprises in front of the cameras, save for that magical moment when Dick Cheney appeared out of nowhere to chants of “Run, Dick, Run.” Continue Reading

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Rising Porn Star Admits to Using Performance-Enhancing Altoids

Rising Porn Star Admits to Using Performance-Enhancing Altoids

SAN FERNANDO, CA – Up-and-coming porn starlet Corrine Hard was rapidly becoming a household name until she received a summons to appear before a Congressional Grand Jury to testify about her alleged use of performance enhancing drugs. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Talky Pictures0 Comments

David Lynch Confirmed to Direct John Edwards Biopic

David Lynch Confirmed to Direct John Edwards Biopic

More trouble for John Edwards surfaced this week when a close family friend told various gossip publications that the disgraced former Democratic presidential candidate struck his cancer-stricken wife during a shocking marriage-ending brawl. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures1 Comment

Four Reasons You’d Be Crazy Not to Go See Avatar

Four Reasons You’d Be Crazy Not to Go See Avatar

I’m not on the take or anything, I’m just a big fan of this unique film, and one who loves it quite a lot.

1 – Because, Statistically, You Haven’t Seen It Yet
Even though it’s breaking records left and right, only 70 million tickets have been sold worldwide. That’s barely 1/10th of a percent of all people. I know most people in my group of friends and family (you know, my calling circle) haven’t taken the time. It’s going to be in theaters for a while, but’s already been almost five-weeks, so if not now, then when? Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Top Ten Random Thoughts by Dave on Recent Sex Scandal

Top Ten Random Thoughts by Dave on Recent Sex Scandal

10. Work with me, sleep with me – comedy rules.
9. Scandal schmandal, it’s fun to flirt.
8. Robert J. “Joe” Halderman, one more GOP Joe wanting my pants.
7. Thought I could show Obama how to handle his nemesii Beck’n'Baugh. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Talky Pictures1 Comment

Real ‘District 9’ Nigeria Laments Sucking So Much

Real ‘District 9’ Nigeria Laments Sucking So Much

Nigeria’s hapless basket case government went into total bonkers format this week by demanding cinemas across the African continent, Europe, Asia and the Americas stop showing the recently-released science fiction film ‘District Nine’. Continue Reading

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Roman Polanski Granted Amnesty for Genius, Survival

Roman Polanski Granted Amnesty for Genius, Survival

Roman Polanski, acclaimed film director, holocaust survivor, and unfortunate lover of an underage girl was granted international amnesty by the United Nations Friday morning. Decades of brilliant films once religated to languish the waste-lands of B-movie europe can once again be bastardized by the big budgets of the very big screen. Continue Reading

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UK Roller Coaster Apes Final Destination 3

UK Roller Coaster Apes Final Destination 3

In a real-life enactment of the horror movie Final Destination 3 two carriages on a giant roller coaster ride collided at the UK’s Slagpool Pleasure Beach yesterday when one of them became jammed on the rails through an accumulation of pigeon shit and a total lack of maintenance and axle grease. Continue Reading

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Anybody Realize How Much Keanu Made Off the Matrix?

Anybody Realize How Much Keanu Made Off the Matrix?

If you’re a big fan of The Matrix, or The Matrix Reloaded, you likely assume Keanu Reeves earned a hefty Hollywood sum, and you’d be partly right. He did earn a massive pile of money, but it was more like a Kingly sum. Of course, if you’re a big fan of The Matrix Revolutions, you’re either imaginary or someone who hasn’t actually seen the film. Continue Reading

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