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Obama/Bush’s 1000-fold Expansion of “International Community” Statelets (2/2)

Obama/Bush’s 1000-fold Expansion of “International Community” Statelets (2/2)

Earlier, President Obama introduced his plan to expand the International Community.

He briefly and compassionately considered Palestine, Vatican City, the future Greater Israel, China, Japan, Russia, EU, India…

But none of them meet the high standards of the Global Village Patriarchs. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Obama/Bush’s 1000-fold Expansion of “International Community” Statelets (1/2)

Obama/Bush’s 1000-fold Expansion of “International Community” Statelets (1/2)

Malicious and insidious recalcitrationalists from Glossynews and other disreputable non-Fox/-MSBC media outlets have been ignorantly and brutally ridiculing The Universal Interest.

And it’s purely on these grounds, and not on account of any cynical or disingenuous motivation whatsoever…

That President Obama has held a press conference in Arkansas, in order to prove the general greater-goody-goodiness of The Greater Good, and the hyper-monopolistic “Ourness” of “Our Common Humanity.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

David Cameron Apologises for “Humanitarian Caliphate” Smear

David Cameron Apologises for “Humanitarian Caliphate” Smear

David Cameron has been forced to make a humiliating climbdown, after incorrectly claiming that the Humanitarian Caliphate is an even better caliphate than the Daesh/IS/ISIS/ISIL/IKEA one.

Calm down dear; listen to what the Grand Physician says… sorry, I mean, “orders you to believe. ”

I only meant it in a flippant manner, not in a po-faced, dusty manner like the Kippers. My point was that we have a lot in common with ISIS, except we are even better. Continue Reading

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Patronizing Miliband, Campbell Reach out to “Stamp-Collecting Community”

Patronizing Miliband, Campbell Reach out to “Stamp-Collecting Community”

Ed Miliband has finally found a way to nail the election in 2015…

Shortly after which, he will be himself will also be nailed up and flogged in the public square by the media every day of mourning and Twitternight of his life.

Still, every Great British PM must follow the Way of the Masters… Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

UKIP’s Tarquin: Idle Woman Bishops, Naughty Un-British Weather

UKIP’s Tarquin: Idle Woman Bishops, Naughty Un-British Weather

Disclaimer: First of all, in the name of the scrupulous and unquestionable (or maybe just unquestionable) media integrity that has made Britain “Great…”

Sorry, erm, really crap, actually …

Well, I republish my original article (from dailybull.co.uk) WITHOUT ANY ORWELLIAN TAMPERING WHATSOEVER. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics1 Comment

Netan-YAHOO’s Speaks Before The American Congress

Netan-YAHOO’s Speaks Before The American Congress

The President of Israel, Netan-YAHOO, has given his talk today at the American Congress.

His coming to America has been a bone of contention between the Republicans and Democrats (what else is new?) as Netan-YAHOO was not invited by President Obama but rather by Speaker of the House John Boehner, a breach of normal U.S. international protocol unless of course you want to piss off the President and make him look bad. Continue Reading

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YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! Clinton Finally Admits Lying

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! Clinton Finally Admits Lying

In a gently-conducted interview (surprisingly gentle!) on his home turf of MSNBC, Bill Clinton has actually admitted telling a lie.

Huh? Ya what? Yes, this is pretty much unprecedented in American history. See the following astonishing words from Clinton:

I actually never knew how to play the saxophone. I was more a steel guitar or Indonesian gamelan man.

I am kind of sorry, in a way; just a little bit. I mean, I’m sorry to have to tell you, anyway… Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Obama: “ISIS Must Train Our Kids to Use Guns Responsibly”

Obama: “ISIS Must Train Our Kids to Use Guns Responsibly”

President Obama is concerned at the harsh stigma attached to militants of the Islamic State.

So he has some wise words for the more narrow-minded citizens, who take a merely partisan approach towards the Islamic State…

Now let me say this. The Islamic State, ISIS, ISIL, call it what you will (perhaps apart from the derogatory term “Daesh…”)

Yes, the Islamic State is a nation with whom we currently have some significant diplomatic obstacles, and breaks in the flow of communication. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

GlossyNews Scores Exclusive Interview w/ Vlad the Impaler Putin, Czar of Russia

GlossyNews Scores Exclusive Interview w/ Vlad the Impaler Putin, Czar of Russia

Glossy News has been fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Vladimir Putin, the leader of Russia, a man very much in the news these days.

It is not often that the Premier grants anyone from the West an exclusive interview, especially since he is not allowed to enter the U.S.

We had to do the Interview on his exclusive 300 foot yacht off the Crimea coast. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone26 Comments

GOP/Dems: Post-Orwellian Dictionary of Humanitarian Imperialism (2/2)

GOP/Dems: Post-Orwellian Dictionary of Humanitarian Imperialism (2/2)

Here we go again… and again… and AGAIN™…

NaHum-ism

National Humanitarianism, or NaHum-ism, is what happens when the petty, cruel, vicious, tearful, artificial boundaries that wantonly and cruelly constrain the human spirit are broken down and annihilated with an iron fist.

For, I have sworn an eternal and undying oath, (naturally, one purely context-dependent and pragmatic in character), that we are all just human beings, in the last instance… Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

GOP/Dems: Post-Orwellian Dictionary of Humanitarian Imperialism (1/2)

GOP/Dems: Post-Orwellian Dictionary of Humanitarian Imperialism (1/2)

Over here in Euroweenie land, they say about the Hitler-Stalin pact: “Les extrêmes se touchent.”

…Or in Universal Anglo-Esperanto, to wit, the King James of Jesus, Rush Limbaugh, John Kerry and other notable figures (-ish): “Opposites meet.”

So it’s only fair that I let Julian™ give me this sexy little number…

A leak of the new secret GOP/Dem handbook for capturing the narrative on their joint-venture humanitarian imperialist missions… Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (2/2)

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (2/2)

I’m going to list for you all the Tory politicians I admire and respect and who I think fully deserve to be UK PM…

Um… never mind. Here are a few more candidates anyway.

Benito Mussolini: Flamboyant Prima Donna, Invented Postmodernism. (Borders = Arbitrary Incommensurable Wittgensteinian Bourgeois-Social Constructs).

Continue Reading

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Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (1/2)

Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (1/2)

The objective media has been slandering Mr TM for his Miliband/Labour-Leak article “bias.”

What a dazzling array of Neo-New-Labour candidates… Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

John McCain Wants My Money, Assumes I’m (Fiscally?) Retarded

John McCain Wants My Money, Assumes I’m (Fiscally?) Retarded

Oh Johnny Mac, you were once a man of principle. Now you’re not even a man of interest.

With a subject line of “Get out of here, you low-life scum”. Oh this, promises to be great.

What follows from there is an avalan-tsunami-cane of red meat pandering lies. Not the usual half-truths, mind you, but outright lies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics0 Comments

Mitt Romney Admits He’s a ‘Douche-bag’

Mitt Romney Admits He’s a ‘Douche-bag’

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney dropped out of the Presidential race yesterday stating that he was not qualified for the job.

“I’m a douche-bag”, Romney. “I don’t know what’s going on with the American people. You don’t want a loser like me for president”.

Romney admitted that his comfortable, wealthy lifestyle and wanton disregard for the poor and underprivileged have made him a poor candidate for the nations highest post.

“I admit I would be a pretty good commander in chief though”, Romney continued. “I wouldn’t mind sending young men into war or wantonly killing scores of innocent people. That would actually give me a tickle”.

Many other Republicans expressed relief that Romney has dropped out of the race. Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee said in reference to Romney, “he’s not God fearing enough. He’d lead us into war but I doubt he would push the nuclear trigger! That’s what I’ll do when I’m president. In the name of God and country!”

New Jersey governor Chris Christie claims he just doesn’t like Romney. “He’s a f(ricking) loser! At least now he’s admitting he’s a douche bag! Not like me! I’m a fat, obnoxious regular American! Like all of you!”

Most people interviewed agreed that Romney would suck as president and they would not vote for him. But they expressed the same sentiments for all the republican candidates. And democrats.

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

Mitt Romney Cannot, Will Not Win (Yet Again) And Here’s Why

Mitt Romney Cannot, Will Not Win (Yet Again) And Here’s Why

Time Magazine has a great article about Mitt Romney, and how his third (and final?) attempt at running for office will be no better than before.

On the early morning of Election 2012 I ran an article entitled “Obama WILL Win Today, And Here’s Why” and I was blasted by conservative friends for it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics2 Comments

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