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2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

Time to look back at an old piece of mine, and think about whether it’s just all about ‘way back then.’

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201505110348/london-riots-who-are-the-real-orwellians/

In scenes mirroring the previous general election, raving hordes of self-righteous middle-class career decents have taken to the streets to protest the “Orwellian” hung parliament. Apparently the number of people who were eligible to vote, and who didn’t, is in the ten percents, at least! Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

Cruz & Khameini Gush: ‘End Big Privacy, Before You Get What’s Comin’ To Ya!’

Cruz & Khameini Gush: ‘End Big Privacy, Before You Get What’s Comin’ To Ya!’

Ted Cruz has recently given stuck it to the man over our trembling, weak-kneed bending over for the nefarious forces of Big Privacy.

His Most Exalted More True-Believe-ier Than Trumpness flashily remarks:

The war on surveillance is motivated purely by an ignoble politics of envy. The fact is, the guys we have monitoring your webcams have bigger dicks than you do; I think we can just take that one as given!

So if you want to squirm and slide around, or dick around (I hardly think it!), or even just go on a full-blown blazing rampage, and create some disreputable orgy of counter-conservative kiss-ass to your enemies, then be my guest! I can take it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Devastating Campaign Trail Interview: Hillary ‘Misspeaks’ Over Links to Wall Street

Devastating Campaign Trail Interview: Hillary ‘Misspeaks’ Over Links to Wall Street

Hillary Clinton is renowned for her talents in the highly competitive artistic fields of evasive and equivocal rhetoricmongering. How did she react recently when I grilled her about her ties to Wall Street?

Wall Street? Uh, excuse me, but we’re going to have to define our terms here. [Aside]: And by ‘we,’ I mean ‘me…’ ohhh, shit! It’s not really working this time, is it??

You know, all these big banks you are receiving money from?

Well, first of all, how do you define ‘big?’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else!”

US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else!”

WASHINGTON – U.S. State Department spokesman Milo Minderbinder announced today that ISIS must sign the TTIP [Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership] treaty by year’s end “or else we will retaliate with extreme prejudice. All options are on the table!”
“Terrorist organizations that control substantial assets, such as oil, should not be exempt from TTIP just because they are not recognized nation-states. TTIP is about promoting free trade, a goal that I’m sure that terrorists who specialize in decapitation videos can appreciate,” Minderbinder stated. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Unanticipated Leak from Westminster Porn Star Generating Machine (Messy!)

Unanticipated Leak from Westminster Porn Star Generating Machine (Messy!)

You ever wonder what your politicians get up to when your back is turned? Don’t be on edge any longer! These hard-working, rugged, men of the people always have their eye out for a new opportunity, and they never say no to an expedient and enticing opportunity for engaging more intimately with their beloved constituents and members.

***

The Wet-Dream Team: Having Great Britain’s Back and Making England Big Again!

Scameron Bliss

Foxy Liam

Major League Johnny

Gorgeous Gideon

Haguey-Bums 29 Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Dear American Refugees, Welcome to Canada

Dear American Refugees, Welcome to Canada

Greetings, American Refugees,

On behalf of the people of Canada, we would like to welcome you to our country. We hope you’ll enjoy your stay. We’re starting to worry about your nation’s apparent complete psychological breakdown. You were doing so well these past eight years with President Obama.

He seemed like an awfully nice fellow. We’re not really sure what has caused your country to go off the rails, but as we’ve watched your presidential election primary coverage, it appears millions of your fellow Americans have gone utterly bonkers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories2 Comments

The Vast ‘Neoliberal’ Conspiracy… Is the Current Debate Too Limited?

The Vast ‘Neoliberal’ Conspiracy… Is the Current Debate Too Limited?

Is it it possible to confirm or deny being a #neoliberal, if the term is infinitely elastic?

Was Stalin a #stateneoliberal, just like he was a #statecapitalist?

Will the end of #capitalism be the end of #neoliberalism, or is the end of #neoliberalism the end of #capitalism?

If Pol Pot was a #fakesocialist, and hence a #fakeanticapitalist, was he also a #fakeantineoliberal?

If #capitalism invented nationalism and militarism, did #neoliberalism also invent nationalism and militarism?

If so, how did the world manage to fall from its Edenic glory and pristine state into #thevastneoliberalconspiracy?

Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Society0 Comments

Israeli Nationalist/Hamas Mutual Divestment Plan Goes Surprisingly Harmoniously   

Israeli Nationalist/Hamas Mutual Divestment Plan Goes Surprisingly Harmoniously  

Various centre-right and far-right nationalist parties in Israel, including Eretz Yisrael Shelanu and Yisrael Beiteinu, have decided to respond to the controversial BDS movement by coming up with a divestment project of their own.

From now on, no member of any Israeli party with pronounced nationalistic leanings is permitted to give donations to Hamas, attend Hamas fundraising events, or send their children on educational exchanges to terrorist training camps. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Ode to the Wide Stance Republicans  (Your Love is Wide)

Ode to the Wide Stance Republicans  (Your Love is Wide)

My stance is wide

My love is deep

True Christian men

Don’t judge lost sheep!

I was only on my winding way

I pitched my tent in a valley gay

I didn’t mean to cause dismay

My enemies lied upon me, while I lay

They grasped my buckler Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

Republican Godwin’s Law Bingo

Republican Godwin’s Law Bingo

I: Hitler had a single-payer healthcare system.

II: Hitler persecuted innocent, well-meaning wealth creators, made them produce his bombs. Socialist welfare advocates want to do the same!

III: Hitler used the decadent liberal media to prop up and promote his evil agenda of Big Medicine and mass murder.

IV: Hitler was a ‘National Socialist.’ The enemies of Our Glorious Nation are ‘Isolationist Socialists.’

See the connection?

V. Just like every damn Democrat who has ever had the grave misfortune of tragically encumbering the earth, and entirely unlike every single Republican in history, Hitler was the sworn foe of all political transparency and accountability. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Better to be a Coppersmith in Purgatory than to Reign in Hell

Better to be a Coppersmith in Purgatory than to Reign in Hell

Liberal secular parliamentary democracy is an absolute necessity for the UK and USA.

And I wholeheartedly condemn, without qualification, the kind of arrogant and hubristic critique that strays from criticizing how the political systems of these countries operate in terms of their results, and ends up criticizing the legitimacy of liberal secular parliamentary democracy itself.

Hence my critique at the time of the London Riots: Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Clinton, Sanders Point Fingers Over Lousy Park Job

Clinton, Sanders Point Fingers Over Lousy Park Job

FLINT, MI – Following a heated debate Sunday evening in which Senator Bernie Sanders and former First Lady Hillary Clinton took opposite sides on a number of pressing issues, the pair got into another argument on Monday afternoon over a much less serious issue. While following the Democratic Code of Conduct in which the pair has agreed to carpool on the debate trail, both Presidential hopefuls were again at odds, this time over who was responsible for a terrible park job in a residential shopping mall.

“When you’re white, you don’t know what it’s like to be living in a ghetto,” Sanders responded when accused of parking the tiny, two-door black Acura in four spots at once by an enraged Clinton who pointed her finger upwards at the taller 5’8” Sanders. “Again, you have settled on a poor choice of words. I have never driven a car to the best of my knowledge,” an insistent Clinton fired back, while holding a set of car keys in her right hand.

The Flint debate was the first since the South Carolina primary, when Mrs. Clinton began to open up a commanding lead over Mr. Sanders in the race for the 2,383 delegates needed to clinch the Democratic nomination. On Sunday night, she sought to protect her edge with African-Americans, who have helped her more than any other constituency.

It is no secret that Sanders feels the nomination is slipping away and may have planned the bad park job in an effort to sabotage his competitor in the race to the White House. However, this could not be confirmed as shortly after the argument Clinton and Sanders joined forces for a haircut at the local Great Clips prior to their next stop in Detroit. Fortunately for the duo, Flint is currently experiencing a water pollution crisis and the only witness to the mispark was It’s A Cat, Just So You Know, Entertainment’s Reporter, Alfredo Loafcia, who was in town investigating an Oprah Winfrey sighting at the local Olive Garden.

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

2016 Presidential Bumper Stickers For The Rest Of Us.

2016 Presidential Bumper Stickers For The Rest Of Us.

PLEASE – JUST HOLD THE ELECTION NOW AND GET IT OVER WITH! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE!


Did anyone else notice that we ultimately are allowed only two choices?


I turned on the TV and thought it was a beauty pageant until I saw Bernie.


Do I really have to wait until after November before I get my regular TV programming back?


Personally, I want Angela Merkel to run. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Alastair Campbell’s Divorce Leads to Contentious Intervention from Blair

Alastair Campbell’s Divorce Leads to Contentious Intervention from Blair

Alastair Campbell’s divorce is hardly the highlight of his recent years. In the recent divorce proceedings, his wife said:

My Alastair used to be a lovely lad. So modest, so honest, and with a heart of gold.

But ever since he started hanging around with that nasty boy from elsewhere, he began to change. After he got into bad company, Alastair started sneering at me and making catty comments.

Over time, he became ever more abrasive and dismissive, like some tinpot Peter Capaldi, or someone of that ilk. And needless to say, he kept leaving his dinner plate and half-finished cups of Earl Grey at his arse and expecting me to clear up after him, like I was his bloody lowland skivvy!

He has just become impossible to live with.

Campbell responded: Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

The UK’s Green Party: They’re no BNP, Put it that Way! (2/2)

The UK’s Green Party: They’re no BNP, Put it that Way! (2/2)

STOP NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE FROM ARBITRARILY PRIVILEGING MODERN ‘SCIENCE!!!’

So-called ‘science’ doesn’t have all the answers. Anyone who tries to funnel off NHS funding from where it is need most, e.g. Solar Flamenco Chakra-Restoration Therapy, Neptunian Buzzwater Dietetics, or Lunar Oncology Meditation Surveillance and Edgy Auditing Techniques, should be held accountable to the Public, erm, the Ecological Interest.

Well, insofar as there’s a difference… which there clearly isn’t! (And most importantly of all, which there intuitively isn’t!)

After all, just like any other ecologically/cosmically inconsequential but fairly pragmatically expedient ‘right…’

Well, freedom of scientific communication does demand responsibility.

FUND ETHICALLY SERIOUS RESEARCH!!!

Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

UK’s Green Party: They’re no BNP, Put it that Way! (1/2)

UK’s Green Party: They’re no BNP, Put it that Way! (1/2)

In fairness, the Green Party have a lot going for them.

Well, for a start, technically, they’re not exactly the BNP/SWP, are they?

(Insofar as there’s a difference!)

And again, nor do they have any links to the National Front…

I mean, they’re just a whole different frickin’ brand of Young Earth Jehovahtology. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

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