Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Martha Mollycoddle, the mother of a man diagnosed as a psychopath and currently undergoing treatment in a hospital for the criminally insane, has begun a campaign to shame liberals and Democrats for mocking President Trump as a result of his similar mental disorder.

“For all his chaos and irrationality and amorality, the real shame isn’t Trump,” she said. “It’s the Democrats who pretend to be warriors for social justice, who rail against cyber bullies and cut a man’s testicles off if he brushes up against a woman in the workplace. But then as soon as they think they’re free and clear to attack a severely mentally ill individual, they burry him beneath a thousand avalanches of insults and put-downs, and bitter cartoons and parodies at his expense.
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An angry and mentally battered President Trump condemned the Alt-Left for vandalizing Confederate Statues in several cities overnight; including dressing one up in a pink bra and layered skirt. Continue Reading

Dateline: LOS ANGELES—Thousands of Americans, who resist Donald Trump’s presidency on the grounds that he is literally a psychopath, have formed a religious group calling for praise of God for supplying the psychopath Donald Trump with a self-destruct button.

The group is called Small Mercies and was founded in Los Angeles, by Joey Garbanzo. Members of the group call themselves The Thankful, thus fulfilling the phrase, being “thankful for small mercies.”
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A certain low-grade satirist is upset that no fewer than ten edgy satire outlets have stolen his Scaramucci joke.

Bigoted, disrespectful moron One Tongue Johnny wantonly abused his freedom of speech privileges by screaming: Continue Reading

Mensa, the international high intelligence group that only accepts people who pass a difficult IQ test, have in the age of Trump found a troubling enigma that has causes them to review their intelligence statuses.

The present President-select has provided them with an problem in categorizing him that they had to labor to overcome. What rating do you give a man with such astounding mental process as our current Commandant-In-Chief? Continue Reading

Dateline: TENNESSEE—American corporate news media baffle viewers by presupposing that all oligarchs are Russian citizens.

“You never hear CNN speak of American oligarchs,” said news media watcher Alonzo Plompus. “For some unknown reason, whenever you hear about oligarchs on cable news, they’re always Russian.”
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Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) is calling for using food stamp recipients and Planned Parenthood workers to help build President Trump’s southern border wall, the Washington Examiner reported Wednesday.

Food stamp recipients would become part of the foundation of the wall, while Planned Parenthood workers, including doctors who provide abortions, would be part of the labor force enslaved to build the wall. Continue Reading

We are a fly on the wall at the Republican formation of the new health plan. 

“What are we going to do?” whispered Mitch McConnell secretly to Mike Pence. “If we don’t get this new AbominableCare bill through our handlers will come down on us heavy!”

“First off, I think we should change the name. It sounds too much like ObamaCare. Secondly, what do you mean by handlers?” Continue Reading

Having met with top campaign contributor and social media guru Vladimir Putin, Trump came out glowing with the announcement that Alaska will be returned to Russia for “a full refund, cash!” Continue Reading

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Leaders in both the Democratic and Republican parties have been holding secret workshops with President Trump to teach him how to lie well.
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Dateline: MOSCOW—In an exclusive interview with Fancypants Magazine, Vladimir Putin took offense at the allegation that Donald Trump was competent enough to have colluded with the Russian government in the hacking of the American political system that helped win Trump the presidency.
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Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—After the 2018 U.S. congressional election, Democrats won back enough seats to bring impeachment proceedings, but they decided to simplify their case against Donald Trump, citing only the undeniable fact, as the reason for the urgent need for Trump’s immediate removal from office, that Trump is “an old man.”

There are hundreds of scandals, crimes, conflicts of interests, gaffes, inadequacies, or embarrassments that can be attributed to Trump’s presidency, but leading Democrats believe they can avoid getting into the details by reminding everyone that, after all, Trump is just an old man and thus is obviously unfit for high office.
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