My Private Workout with Obama

[The following is a 100% partially true story].

People routinely accuse me of telling over-the-top fabricated stories in Glossy News. They make these outrageously unfair accusations just because I may bend the truth a tiny bit occasionally – and by occasionally, I mean not more than 80% of the time. (The other 20% I’m telling the truth, although, admittedly, that’s usually by accident). Read more My Private Workout with Obama

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Israel Ruins Protesters, Commits to Ruining Own Reputation

On May 5th, the United States officially moved the US embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, sparking praise from end-of-days zealots, protests from Palestinians, and a volley of bullets and tear gas from Israeli soldiers posted on the border. Read more Israel Ruins Protesters, Commits to Ruining Own Reputation

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Trump Typos Due to Staff Killing Spell Check: “He Can’t Handle the Criticism!”

White House insiders have suggested that Trump’s many embarrassing typos are not the result of his stupidity or lack of access to technology, but because Maggie Jaakobson, an intern in her third week, was instructed to turn off the spell check feature on his phone because he couldn’t handle the criticsm.

“Miss Jaakobson is no longer working here,” explained world-renowned liar and future Mrs. Potatohead Sarah Huckabee-Sanders. “She’s been fired for her gross incompetence and reckless disregard for the American people.” Read more Trump Typos Due to Staff Killing Spell Check: “He Can’t Handle the Criticism!”

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CNN Replaces Serious Commentary on Trump’s Presidency, with Constant Laughter

Dateline: ATLANTA—CNN has dramatically altered its strategy in covering the Donald Trump White House, having first milked Mr. Trump’s scandals for ratings in the 2016 campaign and then attempted to provide serious, fact-based analysis of the first two years of his presidency. Read more CNN Replaces Serious Commentary on Trump’s Presidency, with Constant Laughter

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Classic Flashbacks: Some of Brian’s Best Videos!

Hi, it’s Wallace again! Have you liked Brian’s Youtube channel yet? Either way, we have a couple of classic videos here, to entice yer eyes and belly! Guffaw away!

Moral Equivalence emperor Ben Carson has hit the news again, after a controversial PR gaffe involving a $31 000 dining room set. Read more Classic Flashbacks: Some of Brian’s Best Videos!

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The NRA, Facing Increasing Hatred From U.S. Citizens, Reacts With More Intimidating Propaganda Tactics.

The National Rifle Association, under intense pressure to not lose the control they have over American politics, has embarked on a new propaganda relations campaign designed to keep naive Americans under their psychic spell and their intimidation thumb. Read more The NRA, Facing Increasing Hatred From U.S. Citizens, Reacts With More Intimidating Propaganda Tactics.

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President Trump’s Audacity Awarded Democrats Political Immunity for Two Centuries, said Political Pseudoscientist

Dateline: LICK SKILLET, TN—Democrats should be grateful for Donald Trump’s presidency, because his smorgasbord of scandals and villainies could theoretically enable them to get away with murder for centuries to come, according to Professor Marco Snodgrass, political pseudoscientist as the Machiavellian Institute, in Tennessee.
Read more President Trump’s Audacity Awarded Democrats Political Immunity for Two Centuries, said Political Pseudoscientist

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BREAKING NEWS! President Trump Says Something Shocking AND Offensive

Dateline: Washington, D.C., January 22, 2017 – The Present

BREAKING NEWS. President Trump stunned the nation this afternoon when he said something shocking and deeply disturbing. According to an anonymous insider, he did not tell anyone in advance that he was going to say it. Read more BREAKING NEWS! President Trump Says Something Shocking AND Offensive

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