Archive | Politics

Bezos Quells Presidential Rumors, “I’m running for Amazon Prime Minister”

Bezos Quells Presidential Rumors, “I’m running for Amazon Prime Minister”

Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos held a press conference in front of the 300-foot brass doors gaurding the entrance to his underground headquarters at the base of Mount Rainier. He wanted to make clear that he has “No illusion or aspiration for the office of president [of the United States.]” Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics0 Comments

Fire and Fury – Inside the Early Trump Years

Fire and Fury – Inside the Early Trump Years

Unless you’re in a coma – or your name is Baron Trump – you’ve no doubt heard about Michael Wolff’s bombshell tell-all book, FIRE AND FURY – INSIDE THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE. On its release day, F&F sold out in less time than it takes Donald to tweet “CNN is Fake News.” Continue Reading

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Confused Democrats Claim ‘Trump Boom’ is Actually Teddy Roosevelt’s Creation

Confused Democrats Claim ‘Trump Boom’ is Actually Teddy Roosevelt’s Creation

Is the Trump Boom actually a thing?

Or is it just fake news?

It turns out that the Trump boom is not all it seems. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Politics0 Comments

Trump Should Attack Russia to Take Heat off RussiaGate Scandal, Experts Say

Trump Should Attack Russia to Take Heat off RussiaGate Scandal, Experts Say

WASHINGTON – Politicians and media pundits from both political perspectives have called on President Trump to attack Russia as soon as possible to prove once and for all that he is not colluding with Russia.

“The only way for Trump to prove that he isn’t colluding with Russia – is to attack them,” said former National Security Advisor, Dulles Minderbinder on CNN.

“I hope Trump attacks Russia soon,” said Republican pundit Frank Hightower on FOX News. “That’s the best way for him to get past the recent unpleasantness of RussiaGate. Trump attacking Russia will also help distract the American public from the coming sexual harassment claims against Trump. It’s win/win. Trump should attack Russia soon in order to save his good name.”

“Attacking Russia is a great idea,” said CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “Russia’s economy is booming. They are a real economic juggernaut. Their economy has just overtaken the Netherlands!”

“We can take Iran next,” averred Wolf Blitzer. “And then it’s on to China!”

Calls for improved relations with Russia were rejected by other CNN commentators as “appeasing Putin” or “just proving for all time that Trump is Putin’s bitch.”

“The American people want Trump to show Putin who is really the Alpha Male in their relationship, their curious bromance,” concluded Blitzer. “Attacking Russia is probably the best way to do it.”

Image attribution:

By Kremlin.ru, CC BY 4.0, Link

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Wacky Friends Parodies IV: UKIP

Wacky Friends Parodies IV: UKIP

Some controversial UK right-wing populists have ended up being the subject of some Friends parodies on YouTube.

Intentionally or not, some of these videos seem to play into the whole ‘who would you actually have a beer with?’ persona of Nigel Farage. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Video News0 Comments

Nelly Parody (Only Just a Democrat Dream)

Nelly Parody (Only Just a Democrat Dream)

I was thinking ’bout Hill and the DNC
Thinking ’bout the POTUS, who it gonna be? Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Politics0 Comments

Turkey Pardons Donald Trump For Being A Turkey At Thanksgiving.

Turkey Pardons Donald Trump For Being A Turkey At Thanksgiving.

In an unusual turnaround at the annual Turkey Pardoning festivity at the White House, the turkey itself made a speech. The 48 pound white turkey Drumstick unexpectedly hopped up to the mike, cleared his throat and said: Continue Reading

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Mainstream News Anchor Proves he Understands Trump’s Presidency by Repeatedly Punching Himself in Face

Mainstream News Anchor Proves he Understands Trump’s Presidency by Repeatedly Punching Himself in Face

Dateline: ATLANTA—A newly hired news anchor at CNN, Guy Hoogetsit, has criticized his colleagues at the cable news station for failing to understand the point of Donald Trump’s election, and maintains that the only way for members of the corporate media to properly report on President Trump is to simultaneously hit themselves repeatedly in the face. Continue Reading

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Leftists Look Forward to “Constructive Dialogue with Idiotic Trump Supporters”

Leftists Look Forward to “Constructive Dialogue with Idiotic Trump Supporters”

WASHINGTON – “Trump is Putin’s bitch,” read several signs in the crowd. Continue Reading

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News Channel Treats Politics as Theater

News Channel Treats Politics as Theater

Dateline: NY CITY—Under the auspices of Europe’s Postmodern Media Group, American entrepreneur Roy Havalaff is launching a cable political news channel that will assume no politician is capable of honesty. Continue Reading

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Canada to Re-Introduce Death Penalty for ‘Serial Hate Speech Offenders’

Canada to Re-Introduce Death Penalty for ‘Serial Hate Speech Offenders’

Pale male metropolitan elitist Justin Trudeau of the Liberal Party is pushing the agenda of ‘Strength Through Diversity’ even further, by reclassifying hate speech as a form of domestic terrorism. Continue Reading

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Turning Their Guns Into Plowshares

Turning Their Guns Into Plowshares

In a surprising and eloquent speech before the media today President Select Trump offered new and unexpected opinions on the horrific mass shooting that shocked Texas and the world on Sunday. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

Klubber Bonez Songbook: Blue Cockroach Blues

Klubber Bonez Songbook: Blue Cockroach Blues

Now here’s a little legend about  a party of wankers

Of humanitarian bombers and their Cayman bankers Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Music, Politics0 Comments

Klubber Bonez Songbook: David Cameron Bellend Blues

Klubber Bonez Songbook: David Cameron Bellend Blues

NOTE: Dave is so greedy, he has insisted on appearing today, despite the fact that he was due tomorrow. But yes: you can expect to see another Klubber Bonez song tomorrow, as announced earlier today. Tomorrow’s song will also feature David Cameron… Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Music, Politics0 Comments

George Bush Senior Apologizes for Not Touching as Many Women as Bill Clinton

George Bush Senior Apologizes for Not Touching as Many Women as Bill Clinton

Shrivelled Wall Street Walnut and former Warmonger-in-Chief George Bush Senior has recently issued a third sexual harassment apology.

The first one was in relation to his alleged grope of Heather Lind. Continue Reading

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Blast from the Past: Clinton vs GOP (2/2)

Blast from the Past: Clinton vs GOP (2/2)

The Dynasty Wars are heating up. Never mind Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Clinton vs Bush is where it’s at!

Or at least, it’s where the money’s at, anyways! Continue Reading

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