Sleepy Joe Biden
Posted in Politics

TONE-DEAF BIDEN! New ‘Pro-Woman’ Talking Point Enrages Feminists & GOP Alike!

Serial groper/political failure and two-dime Bill Clinton wannabe Joe Biden, flailing to deal with allegations of sleazy sexual behavior and a past history of middle ground views on abortion, has now come up with a typically genius way of… Not…

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Posted in Politics

Democrat employs Strange Tactic in Defeating President Trump

Dateline: WASHINGTON, DC, year 2020—The Democratic nominee has won the presidency, beating Donald Trump in a landslide, and has also had bizarre good luck, by employing an unusual political tactic. “I decided to go against my handlers and pollsters,” said…

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Posted in Politics

Robert Mueller: The Knight-Errant who Tripped over his Lance

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Robert Mueller stunned the quarter of Americans who are intent on keeping their country from sliding down the tubes, by turning in a lackluster performance in his televised hearings before Congress. Knowing that most Americans prefer to watch…

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Posted in Politics

O’Rourke Discovers Racism Exists

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Welcome, Jenna! Please share her story about one of the current presidential candidates! ASHUA, NH – Per an anonymous source, Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke appeared “smug and contented” after the release of his op-ed revealing the…

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Posted in Politics

Are These Poems Strange? People Have Named Them ‘Haikus.’ What? Oh, Gesundheit!

Are these poems strange? People have named them Haiku’s. What? Oh, Gesundheit! Obama make peace, Progress with Cuba, Iran. Now will Hulk Trump smash. Immigrants sneak in, quickly come over border. Texas sink from weight. Heat wave hit cities, But…

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Posted in Opinion/Editorial Politics

Voters to Presidential Candidates: “Get Back to Work… You’re a Year Early!”

Everywhere, USA- Fresh of the heels of the first round of debates among Democratic Presidential hopefuls, and the “official” launch of President Donald Trumps re-election campaign, it appears the 2020 Presidential Campaign is in full swing. On the Democratic side,…

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GOP
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Senate Republicans Blame Dems for Failed Budget Negotiations with White House

Washington, DC- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) lashed out at Senate Democrats today, after his fellow Republicans failed to reach an agreement on a long term military funding bill with White House negotiators, resulting in a reported physical altercation…

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Posted in Politics

Hot Off The Press… Oops, Census Citizenship Question Remains!

Washington, DC- Fresh off a Supreme Court ruling which temporarily banned a citizenship question from appearing on the 2020 Census, U.S. Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross confirmed to members of the media on Tuesday that the government printing presses had…

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President Putin
Posted in Politics Top Stories War Zone

SPACE PIRATE PUTIN Dumps Nuclear Treaty with America… Trump Buzzing, Whole World Fuzzing!

Moscow, RU- On Wednesday, rugged Russian President and self-styled hyper-masculine space pirate Vladimir Putin signed a bill that officially withdrew Russia from the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty (IRNFoT); bringing to an end, the end of the Cold War. It…

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Busan Korea
Posted in Music Politics Top Stories

JEONGMAL! Stans Sigh, Bumbling “BTS Buttigieg” Sharpens His Korean

Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg revealed today that he had learned the Korean language to better enjoy the music of K-pop sensations BTS. The South Bend, Indiana, mayor attended a recent concert, part of the group’s “Love Yourself” world tour,…

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Toilet
Posted in Entertainment Politics

RUSH LIMBAUGH BLUNDER! “Drinking Toilet Water a Step Up For Migrants… & it Tastes Great!

Palm Beach, FL- Conservative firebrand and longtime hate addict, Rush Limbaugh, managed to get the attention of non-right wing extremists on Tuesday, when he made a series of potentially racist comments regarding a congress woman, and detainees housed at a…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

More Fucking LIES: President Denies His Re-Election Campaign Started in 2017!!!

Orlando, FL- The script read almost exactly the same… minus the “rapists.” The expired, irrelevant chants of “Lock her up,” rang out from the frenzied mob, blissfully unconcerned by the absolute silliness of the scene. They had waited for days…

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Harriet Tubman note
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Mnuchin Passes on Tubman, Offers Trump as Compromise for New $20

Washington, DC- On Thursday, Secretary of the Treasury, Steven Mnuchin, announced he had scrapped plans to release an updated $20 bill featuring the likeness of famed American abolitionist Harriet Tubman, sighting security issues with the design. The new bill had…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

WTF?! Trump Fox & “Fiends” Interview Goes Off the Rails on a Crazy Train!

Washington, DC- On Friday, during a wild interview with Fox and Fiends host Ainsley Earhardt, President Donald Trump openly challenged House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to begin Articles of Impeachment, repeatedly challenged the House Speaker’s “manhood,” discussed the Art of the…

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Posted in Politics

EXODUS! 100s Of U.S. Border Guards Desert Their Posts & Flee To Canada!

In response to overwhelming job stress, social oppression and poor working conditions, hundreds of ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement) officials and workers have streamed in hastily put together caravans to the Canadian border seeking asylum. The bedraggled lot, tired…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

Trump’s Childhood Friend Pens Biography on Trump’s Early Years

Ever wonder what Trump was like as a child? Much like Jesus, his early years are a mystery. In a new book penned by one of Trump’s close childhood friends, we now have a window into the mind of the…

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Posted in Politics Science

Scientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust

Doctors across the country are warning everyone close to the President to watch for signs of spontaneous combustion due to the heat he is receiving after Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report reveals there were crimes committed by Trump during the…

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Posted in Making Headlines Politics Top Stories World News

We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News

Wolf Blitzer: This is Wolf Blitzer. Welcome to The Situation Room. We have important breaking news. The Wall Street Journal reports that Democrats in Congress are pushing back against President Trump’s plans to go to war with Iran. They are…

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Bush Obama
Posted in Politics War Zone

Washington Limericks! (TRIGGER WARNING: NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!)

There once was a loser called Bush Who told old Saddam to vamoosh He tanked the economy And made y’all some enemies And the terror threat went through the roof! ___ There once was a showman called Barry Who was…

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Posted in Politics

More Amazingly Mesmerizing Memes!

Note from Wallace: more of rfreed’s memes! You can check his user profile to for some satire stories. Captions mine. Putin it away! “Orange and white” revolution? Mexican Dream Just like whack-a-mole Come Fly with Me Revenge Gate… Barr Brawl…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Alabama Proposed Reinstating Slavery

[Author’s Warning: This week’s post is in response to the Alabama State Legislature’s decision to pass the most draconian anti-abortion law in the country. So, if you’re from Alabama, or perhaps just a big Crimson Tide fan, you might want…

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Posted in Biz News Politics

World Bank POVERTY SHOCK! US CEOs Living on Less than $100 000… a Day?!

Pioneering poverty busters the World Bank have followed the lead of the US government, whose recent decision to ban hate speech against underprivileged and widely despised economic minorities, such as filthy rich social media gurus and omnipotent oil barons has…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Our All-Hearing Drone Succeeds Once Again! We Eavesdrop On The Latest Trump – Putin Phone Call!

Still undetected by the CIA or the KGB, our seemingly undetectable drone has this time crashed the phone call our feckless leader made to Uncle Putin the other day. We could analyze it and pre-masticate it before feeding it to…

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T-Rex Naughty Dinosaur
Posted in Politics World News

CARTOONS: T-Rex & Me! (Our Great New Graphic Artist, JF!)

A hearty welcome to our new writer and graphic artist, JF! Plenty more to come from him over the next few days. WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH THE BREXIT NEGOTIATIONS??? Rex has recently been assisting Theresa May with the Brexit negotiations.

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Posted in Politics Society

Feminists OUTRAGED! Biden’s Creepy Campaign Trail Song List Leaks… CREEPY!

BIDEN 2020: FIRST SEXUALLY QUESTIONABLE PRESIDENT? Serial groper and wildcat Juncker’s sciatica handyman Joe ‘Creepy Uncle Joe Biden’ has just recently announced a bid for the presidency, despite a history of sexual misdemeanours which leaves but little daylight between him…

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