Judge Judy’s Guide to Life

Hi. My name’s Judge Judy. Welcome to my courtroom. You obviously have seen me on TV telling stupid imbeciles wasting my time to go get a life!

I’m here today to teach you all the formula on how to become successful, powerful, and rich like I am, although I seriously doubt you’ll ever be as rich and successful as me.

It’s not too late to shed your overly self-conscious weakling self to take charge of any situation, where you never feel the need to explain, complain, or apologize when there’s nothing to apologize for as you drill into somebody’s thick head that you’re better than they are. The trick is to make that someone else believe you’re better, whether or not you actually are. In my case, I’ve known for a long time there’s nobody who could possibly be better than me.

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Can Fish & Man Live in Peace?! George Bush Caught Up in Appalling Swimming Costume Drama…


In a comical oversight, Ex-President of the United States George Bush forgot to take his swimming costume with him at Washington’s renowned Sports & Leisure Village. Read more Can Fish & Man Live in Peace?! George Bush Caught Up in Appalling Swimming Costume Drama…

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Trump Unsure Why “Crime” is Actually a Crime

President select Donald Trump has admitted to obstruction of justice and collusion, both of which are crimes, but asked Sean Hannity in a phone interview, “Why are those crimes? I mean, nothing else I do is a crime.” Read more Trump Unsure Why “Crime” is Actually a Crime

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Jimmy Fallon Slobbers on Guests while Serial Killer Stabs his Audience to Death

Dateline: NEW YORK CITY—Jimmy Fallon, host of The Tonight Show, played softball with his guests while a serial killer crept through the studio, killing the members of the live audience one by one as they applauded the antics of the family-friendly host and comedian. Read more Jimmy Fallon Slobbers on Guests while Serial Killer Stabs his Audience to Death

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Documentary examines Movie Star’s Reluctance to Play God

Dateline: CANNES—A behind-the-scenes documentary about the life of world-renowned actor Johnny Hazitall has perplexed viewers, as experts in the film scramble to explain how anyone worshipped by hundreds of millions of fans could be so ungrateful as to avoid the pitfalls of celebrity.

On the silver screen Mr. Hazitall has appeared in dramas as well as comedic and action roles, and is mobbed by adoring fans wherever he goes.
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