For Once I Agree With The Republicans- IMMIGRATION!

For Once I Agree With The Republicans- IMMIGRATION!

I am glad Obama is finally standing up to the Republicans who have been kneecapping him since day one of his Presidency. It is just too bad that it isn’t over a better subject- immigration.

The truth is- the boat is full. We have enough people in this country already. We have massive unemployment with the people we have already. We don’t need anymore. We need to take care of the people we have here already- OUR people. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, Serious Commentary0 Comments

SCOOP! Glossy News Is The First With A Photo Of The New Star Trek Series And Its Stars!

SCOOP! Glossy News Is The First With A Photo Of The New Star Trek Series And Its Stars!

A leak in the security of the new Star Trek series has provided Glossy with a peek at the highly anticipated show.

As you can see the players will be wearing an all new design of Star Fleet uniforms and, as usual, represent many different races and nationalities.

Again there will be a black Vulcan just like Tuvok in the Voyager series, only this time he will be in the Commander position. Unlike his predecessor this new Vulcan will occasionally exhibit moments of humor, a very un-Vulcan like quality.

His name is Barack Hussein Obama, an unlikely a name as any writer could ever conjure up, but we’ll go with it for the time being. There is a Chinese second in command, Xi Jinping (they must have been really imaginative to come up with this moniker), who will be a constant source of disagreement and contention in the series.

Unknown to the other crew members, a Romulan agent has infiltrated the group with the intent on sabotaging all relationships and vessel machinery that he can. Named Vladimir Putin (the writers got a little lax on this name. It is inappropriate as it sounds too much like the Romanian Prince Vlad who was the basis for Dracula….on second thought the name fits. Forget it.), he is the wild card in the deck of the ship’s crew.

Other nationalities and races will play key characters who will mostly get in the way of the other three stars or die horribly while wearing red uniforms (in the original Star Trek series any actor wearing a red shirt always got creamed half way through the episode).

Whereas most Star Trek episodes involved conflicts with aliens outside the ship, this series will have most of its battles waged inside the vessel between its own crew members. Mr. Putin and Jinping will prove to be behind most of the intrigue. Mr. Putin and Mr. Jinping, being from more backwards lands, are jealous of the Captain’s superior technology and feels that they must interrupt their progress in any way possible to overcome it.

On their first mission in an entirely new ship aptly called the “New World Order”. the crew encounters foreign aliens trying to escape their home planet to work on the earth. Captain Obama wants to welcome them in, not realizing that helmsman Putin has already sent out small fighters to buzz and harass them. Mr. Jinping just stands back and waits for both to make mistakes so he can take over.

Future episodes will be guaranteed to have lots of weird looking aliens and not-so-weird looking gorgeous shapely women wearing way-too-short mini-skirt uniforms.

Share

Posted in Entertainment, Politics2 Comments

How Is An American Treated When He Tries To Get a Job in Mexico?

How Is An American Treated When He Tries To Get a Job in Mexico?

Much ado is made of the treatment of Latin Americans coming across our borders looking for illegal work.

But what happens when an American goes to Mexico to get a job. Roses are not exactly strewn across his path either.

When I was much younger I had had a bad experience volunteering for the forest service (don’t ever do it!) in Wyoming and, angered and upset that I had wasted a whole summer of no pay for thankless U.S. Government Rangers, I headed down to Mexico to escape for a while from the so-called ‘American Dream’. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

Republicans Have Saul-like Epiphany Day After Winning Mid-term Elections

Republicans Have Saul-like Epiphany Day After Winning Mid-term Elections

The day after winning a vital mid-term election that would give them a much stronger control of the U.S. Government, the Republican Party has apparently experienced an epiphany on the majesty of that which affected Saul on his Biblical quest to persecute the Jews.

Only in the example of the Republicans it will prevent them from smiting the Democrats. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics5 Comments

SCANDAL!- Many Republicans Found To Be Hooked On Koch!

SCANDAL!- Many Republicans Found To Be Hooked On Koch!

A shocking report has reached news desks throughout the country that many Republicans, especially those in great positions of responsibility, are hooked on Koch.

Koch, which first made it appearance in the 40’s, has become more virulent in recent years. It is highly addictive and those who become hooked on it quickly develop selfish, anti-social behavior.

Unlike heroin, meth or crack the user does not develop the degenerative physical attributes that readily mark the abuser as a junkie. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Crime, Politics1 Comment

Obama No Longer First US Black President

Obama No Longer First US Black President

Obama is no longer the first black president as he turned albino white today during his latest CIA briefing.

Apparently the ‘men in black’ have been hiding some of the more disturbing secrets of the nation from the man who should really know them. Now he does and it ain’t apparently purty…

After discovering how things really are beneath the surface in Washington and on the world scene, President Obama turned white right down to his hair, much the same as did Senator McCain when he was held prisoner by the North Vietnamese. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics4 Comments

Poor Banned From Using Money

Poor Banned From Using Money

Today the upper classes of America succeeded in getting a bill passed banning poor people from using money. Having invested heavily in Senators and Legislators for decades they now saw it was time to remove the economy entirely from the lower masses and keep it firmly in their own clenching hands.

This essentially made everyone in the U.S. except the upper 2% a slave. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Society0 Comments

States Planning Secession. United States Finished?

States Planning Secession. United States Finished?

A new political entity was born today as all States west of the Mississippi seceded from the Union and created their own nation called The League of States That Remembers What Reality Is.

Fed up with decades of following a government that only recognized the needs and interests of those within a 200 mile radius of Washington, the League (hereafter referred to as the LSTRWRI to keep from using up all my printer ink) made Barrow, Alaska its capital, made Rand Paul its Emperor and named Sarah Palin its Queen just to keep her happy and quiet (not that she really knows anything about reality). Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

“A Drunkard’s Dream If I Ever Did See One!”

“A Drunkard’s Dream If I Ever Did See One!”

This phrase from ‘Up On Cripple Creek’ by The Band pretty well sums up the first and perhaps the last conscious impression that one would have of Hurley, Wisconsin.

I had heard a couple times from people in Ironwood, Michigan just across the Montreal River and the state line from Hurley that it was ‘where everyone goes to drink’.

Coming into town from Highway 2 and arriving at the main junction and the main stop signs for Hurley that defines the towns business district, if one were to swivel ones head in a complete arc from left to right one would be amazed at the plethora of bars this place has to offer the willing to be soused visitor. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Strange People0 Comments

An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates

An Annoying Update On Annoying Updates

Traveling on the road can be stressful. Sometimes too stressful. One doesn’t need non-road situations to make them more stressful. Someone should mention this to Bill Gates.

I am presently doing a road trip with limited amount of time to check out property. This is in a remote part of the country that consists of a lot of trees and hills and not much else.

The towns that are here are Boonievilles, this term not intended as a an insult; they are really cool towns in their unique ways, but ‘Boonievilles’ correctly gives the burgs the proper description as being considerably less sophisticated economically, materially and in terms of modernity. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

Recount On Already Controversial Presidential Election Because Of Illegal Zombie Votes

Recount On Already Controversial Presidential Election Because Of Illegal Zombie Votes

A recount has been demanded on the already scandalous Bush/Gore 2000 Presidential election by Democrats because it has been discovered that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote.

Apparently in their over-exuberance to get people out to vote Republican campaigners accidentally (or, perhaps intentionally as the Left insists) signed up the living dead.

Being dead, zombies, as with most dead, can not legally vote. Also it is difficult to distinguish many Republicans from the dead to begin with. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics2 Comments

Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree on Something… Unfortunately

Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree on Something… Unfortunately

The UN Council, sick of the never ending strife in Israel between the Jews and the Arabs, came up with a novel idea for mediating a lasting truce. They employed Buddhists to act as peacekeepers.

The Buddhist faith, probably among the most peaceful of any of the earthly religions, emphasizes tolerance, good will and understanding as its most important virtues.

The UN high council members thought that having Buddhist monks watching over the two Mid-east enemies might bring about the long sought after peace that the area had lacked for the last 70 years. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Ruse of Young Border Crossers Successful for Drug Cartels

Ruse of Young Border Crossers Successful for Drug Cartels

Suspicions have arisen lately that the recent spate of Latin children coming across the southern U.S. border were no spontaneous occurrence. Darker implications have revealed themselves.

“The operation was a total success!” states Juan Cokefetcher, middle manager for the Headchoppers Cartel of Chihuahua.

“Those stupid gringos never did figure out what it was all about; that those kids coming across seeking asylum were just a ruse to distract them.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Crime, Human Interest0 Comments

Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World

Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World

There used to be a sanctuary to which you could retire for that most blessed and peaceful of soul satisfying balms- silence.

This sanctuary was known as a ‘library’ and throughout the world they could be considered a trustworthy and guarded haven for this treasure of peace whether it be in Bangladesh or the heart of Manhattan.

There entities known as “librarians” would covet and protect this precious jewel of quietude against all assailants be they obnoxious brats, overheated fine payers or homeless wrecks. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Education, Kidz Zone0 Comments

GOP Has Perfected Bush/Cheney Clone to Take Over 2016 Election

GOP Has Perfected Bush/Cheney Clone to Take Over 2016 Election

Republican geneticists have succeeded in their long term project to clone George W. Bush and Dick Cheney into a composite entity to enter into the 2016 Presidential elections.

This modern Frankenstein, born in a petrie dish and reared in secret, has been specially educated and trained to be an unswerving right wing pundit.

It has been modified genetically so that it develops to physical maturity in just a few years. The creature will never reached mental maturity, but that is nothing that the Republicans are not used to. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science & Technologizzy2 Comments

Many Using iPhones to Surgically Replace Entire Brains

Many Using iPhones to Surgically Replace Entire Brains

In the latest cool trend to hit the streets masses of young people are getting their I-phones installed in their heads where their brains used to be.

The popularity and 24 hour a day usage of Apples extremely popular gadget has brought about this new fad that has taken the modern world by storm.

The surgical operation, which only takes a few hours but is costly, rewires a persons nerves to interact with the small machine instead of the much weightier brain which is removed. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology0 Comments

Page 1 of 2812345...1020...Last »
Glossy News Fake Commercials!


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

14 posts
11 posts
11 posts
4 posts
2 posts
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial