Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree on Something… Unfortunately

Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree on Something… Unfortunately

The UN Council, sick of the never ending strife in Israel between the Jews and the Arabs, came up with a novel idea for mediating a lasting truce. They employed Buddhists to act as peacekeepers.

The Buddhist faith, probably among the most peaceful of any of the earthly religions, emphasizes tolerance, good will and understanding as its most important virtues.

The UN high council members thought that having Buddhist monks watching over the two Mid-east enemies might bring about the long sought after peace that the area had lacked for the last 70 years. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Ruse of Young Border Crossers Successful for Drug Cartels

Ruse of Young Border Crossers Successful for Drug Cartels

Suspicions have arisen lately that the recent spate of Latin children coming across the southern U.S. border were no spontaneous occurrence. Darker implications have revealed themselves.

“The operation was a total success!” states Juan Cokefetcher, middle manager for the Headchoppers Cartel of Chihuahua.

“Those stupid gringos never did figure out what it was all about; that those kids coming across seeking asylum were just a ruse to distract them.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Crime, Human Interest0 Comments

Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World

Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World

There used to be a sanctuary to which you could retire for that most blessed and peaceful of soul satisfying balms- silence.

This sanctuary was known as a ‘library’ and throughout the world they could be considered a trustworthy and guarded haven for this treasure of peace whether it be in Bangladesh or the heart of Manhattan.

There entities known as “librarians” would covet and protect this precious jewel of quietude against all assailants be they obnoxious brats, overheated fine payers or homeless wrecks. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Education, Kidz Zone0 Comments

GOP Has Perfected Bush/Cheney Clone to Take Over 2016 Election

GOP Has Perfected Bush/Cheney Clone to Take Over 2016 Election

Republican geneticists have succeeded in their long term project to clone George W. Bush and Dick Cheney into a composite entity to enter into the 2016 Presidential elections.

This modern Frankenstein, born in a petrie dish and reared in secret, has been specially educated and trained to be an unswerving right wing pundit.

It has been modified genetically so that it develops to physical maturity in just a few years. The creature will never reached mental maturity, but that is nothing that the Republicans are not used to. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science & Technologizzy2 Comments

Many Using iPhones to Surgically Replace Entire Brains

Many Using iPhones to Surgically Replace Entire Brains

In the latest cool trend to hit the streets masses of young people are getting their I-phones installed in their heads where their brains used to be.

The popularity and 24 hour a day usage of Apples extremely popular gadget has brought about this new fad that has taken the modern world by storm.

The surgical operation, which only takes a few hours but is costly, rewires a persons nerves to interact with the small machine instead of the much weightier brain which is removed. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology0 Comments

Breaking News! Russia Plans Invasion of Scotland if They Secede!

Breaking News! Russia Plans Invasion of Scotland if They Secede!

The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest.

The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the ‘Yes’ vote on independence pass.

Here are some of the taped telephone conversations that they have intercepted from Russian higher-ups in their political system (translated): Continue Reading

Share

Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Richest 1% Buys U.S. Military to Protect them from Other 99% of Society

Richest 1% Buys U.S. Military to Protect them from Other 99% of Society

In a surprising development, the upper 1% of the richest Americans have purchased the entire U.S. military to protect them from the other 99% that they lord over.

All troops except those actively engaging an enemy somewhere in the world have been called back to bases in the U.S.

“This is a change of monumental proportions!” stated US Today.

“This could bring about an international catastrophe!” cried CNN. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Society0 Comments

Russian Takeover Strategies Of  Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow

Russian Takeover Strategies Of Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow

2008- Russia invades former ‘comrade’ nation Georgia because Putin ‘has Georgia on his mind….’.

March 2014- Russia takes over the Crimea because they want to protect their naval fleet, and their hidden stores of vodka.

June 2014- Russia begins infiltration and takeover of eastern Ukraine, wanting to ‘protect the Russians living there’ who invaded centuries ago. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in War Zone, World News2 Comments

Arms Manufacturers Hope for Another Massacre To Stimulate Lagging Gun Sales

Arms Manufacturers Hope for Another Massacre To Stimulate Lagging Gun Sales

According to a recent Bloomberg.com article, guns sales have fallen off sharply since the days of the Sandy Hook and Batman movie massacres which is worrying arms manufacturers and salesmen.

The fear of having guns banned or limited sent gun lovers, conspiracy theorists, survivalists and various assorted whackos scurrying for their local gun shops to buy up whatever thunder sticks and ammos they could get their hands on.

Those times are now referred to as ‘the good ole’ days” by shop owners. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Biz News0 Comments

A Checklist Of The ‘Humanitarian Aid’ The Russians Are Sending To Ukraine

A Checklist Of The ‘Humanitarian Aid’ The Russians Are Sending To Ukraine

At the Russian/Ukrainian border the so-called ‘humanitarian aid’ convoy sent by Putin stops to do a final check on what supplies they will be delivering to the Ukrainians on the other side. Two Russian majors exit the first two vehicles carrying clipboards and meet at the back of the first truck.

“OK Dimitri, let’s take a final check on everything.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Coloradoans Now Even Bigger A**holes Since Start Of Legalized Pot

Coloradoans Now Even Bigger A**holes Since Start Of Legalized Pot

The wonder mellower-outer cannabis, always said to have a positive, tranquilizing affect on its users, has unfortunately not had such an effect on the normally ego-centered Coloradoans who recently legalized use of it.

“Criminy,” said Jim Bames, over the road trucker who delivers freight from Kansas to Colorado regularly “I thought that stuff was supposed to mellow you out! Why them guys now are worse than ever. They was plain old jerks before. Now that they’s smoked up they’s is now super jerks!” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

‘What Dreams Shall Come’ – A Spoof Tribute To Robin Williams

‘What Dreams Shall Come’ – A Spoof Tribute To Robin Williams

Suicides where always a pain for Detective Malny. Always ugly. Always depressing, although he never let that show.

This one especially.

Robin Williams.
One of the most famous comics ever.
The guy who always made people laugh.
Found hanging by a belt. By his own hands.

He was met at the house by Detective Tromsa, one of the first ones on the scene, someone he had worked with often before.

“Hello. It looks like we got a big one today.”

“Yeah, we sure do. Robin Williams. It’s pretty obvious he killed himself.”

Malny backed up and looked over the house. “Of all people.”

“Yeah, said Tromsa. “You wouldn’t expect it from him.”

“You never know.” said Malny. ‘Sometimes these people have things going on that no one realizes. No evidence of foul play?”

“None. It is pretty obvious that it is simply a suicide.”

“Any note or anything?

‘No, just his cell phone.”

“Anything on it?”

“Haven’t looked yet.”

“Let’s check that out.” (They talk as Tromsa investigates the phone messages.) I was never a big fan of his, but he seemed like a decent guy.’

“Yeah. But he got into the typical Hollywood cocaine crap. That could have something to do with it. It looks like he went into rehab a month ago. His wife also said he has been diagnosed with Parkinsons.”

“Ooh. That will do it. That’s that same thing that Micheal J. Fox has, isn’t it?”

“I believe so.” said Tromsa. “That would be enough to send anyone over the edge.” He scans the telephone as he talks. “I’ve seen a couple films of his that were good. Good Will Hunting was great. Not his typical role. He had to play it pretty straight. La Cage Aux Folles was a hoot. He played this gay cabaret owner with Gene Hackman as his straight brother in law.”

“Ha! That must have made for some fireworks!”

“Yeah! And the weird part of it was Williams wasn’t his usual manic self. He was more subdued!”

“You are kidding? Playing a gay guy?”

“Yup, playing a gay guy. You would think he would go all out on that one.”

“I liked a couple of his too.” admitted Malny. “Good Morning Vietnam was good. Then he did a weird one called What Dreams May Come where he dies and goes to heaven…”

“Oh yeah! And he meets Cuba Gooding there who is his guide. That was a trippy one. Incredible scenery of heaven. He finds out his wife has gotten depressed and killed herself and he searches for her.”

‘Yeah, that was a wild movie. The special effects were unbelievable.”

“I really liked that one. It was beautifully made……..” Tromsa trails off, looking at the phone. “That is strange.”

“What is it?”

“There is a message here from Williams himself it looks like.’

“A phone message?”

“No, a text message.”

“What is so strange about that?”

“The time of his death was around midnight. This message is from 4 AM.”

“What? Are you sure it is from Williams himself?”

“That or from someone using his phone.”

“What does it say?”

Lines deepen on Tromsas face. “What Dreams May Come is true!’

“That;s bizarre! And it has Williams own number attached to it?”

It sure looks that way.” said Tromsa.

“Let me see.” he takes the phone. “Someone must be making a joke.”

“Who would have known about his death?”

“Wait a minute! There is a message coming through right now!”

“A text?”

“Yes.”

“What does it say”

Malny is silent as he reads the message. Finally, in a hushed voice he says “What Dreams May Come is real. I can see it now for myself. I apologize for leaving the mess.”

Tromsa gazes down at the phone in his hand. “What number is on display?”

“Williams own.” says Malny breathlessly.

The men both fall silent as they stare down at the phone. Finally Malny says something. “Unlisted number?”

‘Yes.”

“No one outside the family and his assistant know about his death?”

“Yes.”

Malny looks at Tromsa. ‘I don’t think I am going to report this.”

“Good idea.” replies Tromsa.

Both of the men, each of them well seasoned LA cops, turn to go about their work, both a bit paler than usual, both with unvoiceable questions coming to the forefront of their thoughts.

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Talky Pictures0 Comments

The Price That Makes A Joke Of All Life

The Price That Makes A Joke Of All Life

Just how much is to be expected out of a human in this so-called great United States of America of ours?

My mother worked hard all her life, either raising four children in a rat-assed Midwest dying industrial town or living her lonely life after the ugly divorce from a man who had been unfaithful once the kids were grown and gone.

At a certain time there should be a period of rest and retirement in ones life, or at least it was that way in the America she grew up in in the 30’s and 40’s. She ended up working until shortly before her death at the age of 82. And that is having to work HARD. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Glossy Gets First Hand Account Of Israeli Settlers Taking Over Palestinian Land

Glossy Gets First Hand Account Of Israeli Settlers Taking Over Palestinian Land

A side development of the current Israeli/Palestinian conflict is the Israeli annexing of further Palestinian land for their ever-swelling population of new comers.

According to U.N. accords the land once called Palestine was divided into specific and definite sections- determined parts for the Jews and determined parts for the Arabs.

Since that time Israel has often and often brutally confiscated Arab territory for the immigrants they lure to their land to ensure that they have a large enough population to stave off Arab attacks. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in War Zone0 Comments

NRA Demands US Government Outlaw Drones Despite 2nd Amendment

NRA Demands US Government Outlaw Drones Despite 2nd Amendment

In a strange reversal of policy the NRA has demanded that the U.S. make a ban on drones very much like the ban on guns that they have so heatedly fought against in the past.

Speaking at a press conference NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre has vehemently asserted that “Drones are dangerous! They are potential weapons of mass destruction! They should not be allowed in the wrong hands!” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Congress Gets Unusually Creative In Its Ways Of Kicking Down Obama

Congress Gets Unusually Creative In Its Ways Of Kicking Down Obama

Just when you would think that Congress (aka Republicans) could not get any more creative in their undermining of just about every move that Obama makes they come with something that leaves you aghast that they actually do possess some degree of creativity.

No longer stonewalling and counter measuring everything the non-white man President does the Congress passed a measure to sue Obama over the actions he is taking in using Presidential procedure to make decisions.

Funny, they never did this when George the Second Bush went way beyond his legislative abilities to pass laws and to gut simple human rights (aided by his caretaker Dick aka. Vader Cheney).

As I remember they who are now so indignant at Obama sat back in their high seats and snickered. In other words its OK when one of their own good old boys do it, but not when the black whippersnapper does. Am I wrong or isn’t that the basis for fascism?

In an effort to waste more time and taxpayer money the Repubs are starting a ridiculous lawsuit designed to make themselves look good and tough and Obama bad. It is all part of a continuous manipulative effort to make better their chances for election wins in the present mid-term and for the 2016 Presidential election.

It is also a ploy to further handicap a President who would have gotten a lot more good done for the country had the Right worked with him a little bit rather than working him over. What could have been a landmarking term of office with vast improvements for all sections of American society has instead sunk into a morass of hatred and back stabbing resulting in a stagnation of our whole way of life.

In a way whose only purpose is to make the big boys in the right look good to their buddies and cronies and serves no other purpose but to gum up the governmental machinery more and cost us more tax money, the suing will bring no good to anyone except for a few lawyers to get richer and for a few redneck bigots to gloat more.

As though Obama doesn’t have enough to deal with already.

Share

Posted in Politics0 Comments

Page 1 of 2712345...1020...Last »
Glossy News Fake Commercials!


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

9 posts
4 posts
2 posts
2 posts
2 posts
2 posts
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial