Trumpenstein Horror Monster Republicans Now Threatens to Destroy Them

Trumpenstein Horror Monster Republicans Now Threatens to Destroy Them

A Rathskeller deep in the forested woods. Night has drawn its blackest curtain across the outer world, blocking out even the niggardly light from the stars.

Rain hammers against the windows and lightning cackles in the air.

A troupe of men with faces that seek the shadows meet in a corner booth away from the gazes of the other inn patrons.

They speak in cautious whispers that they wish no other ears to intrude upon: Continue Reading

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Iowa State Fair Exhibits True Nature Of Politics by Having Presidential Candidates Penned up.

Iowa State Fair Exhibits True Nature Of Politics by Having Presidential Candidates Penned up.

This year’s crop of Presidential weeds….. er… candidates made their appearance this week at the traditional show case starting gate for the quad yearly election- the Iowa State Fair. This time in a stock pen.

All the hopefuls vying for the so-called honor of being chosen the Commander in Chief of the entire United States were herded into a fenced off pen in one of the livestock barns and put on display. Continue Reading

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9/12/2001- The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 11

9/12/2001- The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 11

9/12/2001
THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED
Part 11

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

McGurty announced himself to Cheney’s secretary through the intercom. He was immediately entered in, an entitlement usually reserved only for high ranking political and military officials and oilmen.

“So, what have you got for me? “ Cheney asked his slightly timid assistant.
“We can get Rumsfeld in, sir. Bolton would be a much tougher goal.”
“Good, good!’ said Cheney pleasedly. “Let’s get the ball rolling on that then.”
“Is Mr. Rumsfeld aware of the situation, sir?”
“No, but he will be very shortly, McGurty. I wanted to make sure it was feasible first. Thanks for working on that.”
“My pleasure, sir!”
He exited.

It was a meeting with the real big boys that ran things. The head honchos. The Man in plurality.

Still they all sat patiently in their lavishly comfortable chairs wearing suits just like so many other men across the world, only far better crafted. They are expectant, but unsure. Cheney was animated, excited. His eyes glowed with an intensity radiating from them.

“Gentlemen, as you can probably already imagine, we have made a decision for war. We are going after those who are responsible for the 911 tragedy.”
Bravos sounded around the table.

“This is grim news for us as a nation, but we should also rejoice for we at last are seeking blood from those who dealt us the deal.” Enthusiastic hand claps erupted.

“It is been a cloud hanging over us for a long time, now, but now we have the chance to experience its good potential. The promise of a silver lining holds especially true for we gentlemen in this room.” He unveils a map of the Mideast on the easel board set up before them. “We have already begun our buildup for a campaign against our hidden enemies. Our researchers in the CIA and FBI have led us to the lair of our cowardly foes. And that lair is in…” he points to the map with his pointer, “Iraq.” He points to the nation which is suddenly highlighted on the map and grows in proportion to be dominant. “This is our enemy. It is believed that Osama bin Laden is hiding out in its midst, probably in a remote desert area. In two days from now we will be hitting them with everything we got. They will experience a shock and awe that they will never forget.”

“Iraq? Aren’t they finding that the Arabs flying the planes into New York were Saudi’s?”

“Yes, indeed. But who was their motivator? Bin Laden. And where is he?’ He points to the map.

“We have to make sure we go after the cats and not the kittens. We will hit Iraq so hard they will be whirling like dervishes for weeks.”

Cheney paused a moment, then added with an expressible smirk upon his face, “And that is where the silver lining is. Gentlemen, the benefit of raining fire back upon our enemies is that once they are vanquished along with that despot who runs the place, we will have control over the world’s third largest oil producing country.”

A few oohs issued out. Others gloated upon an inner knowledge of it that they had already surmised.

The man from Shell Oil spoke up. “Who would be the beneficiaries of this situation?”

“Oh, we would! To the victors go the spoils. And those spoils would be around two million barrels of oil a day. And who is the ‘we’? Those of us who hold the reins!”

A couple wolf’s whistles sounded from around the room. “Are you sure these Iraqis ragheads aren’t going to hold on to them?”

Cheney’s expression got darker and more suggestive. “We will make sure they won’t!” the smirk appearing upon the corner of his mouth again. “We can’t have a bunch of Medieval beggars getting in the way of our profits!”

There was a pause at this, then a healthy round of ‘Bravos!’ and false ‘Hurrahs” resounded around the room accompanied by a tinny form of applause.

Pleased with the response to his speech, Cheney went into a back room and sat heavily down upon a chair. He covered his eyes with a towel and leaned back.

His aide McGurty entered the room, easing the door behind him.

“It sounds like you impressed them, sir.”

“Yes, that I believe I did.” stated Cheney from beneath the towel.
“It sounds like they are with you on it.”
“I certainly hope so.”
“So the next step is war?”
“Yes it is.”
“So we have any alternatives?”

Cheney whipped the towel off his face and sat bolt upright, pointing a finger at McGurty.

“No, Mr. McGurty, here is the way it is now. These religious nuts in the Mideast have proved that they can now get to us if they want to. And believe me, they want to. They have finally wised up to the fact that although we’ll let them have as much money as they need have to run their puppet kingdoms and get so much rich food and golden crap as they want, but we won’t let them have the reins to the whole deal. Even when they nationalized the oil companies, they were still dependent on our engineers to run the show. And on us to buy the stuff and to run the companies that pulled it out of the ground. Now they want the whole schmeil. They are not going to get it. We have the chance now to get a permanent slice of the oil pie. We get rid of this ape Hussein and Iraq will be ours. That will alone cover 60% of our energy needs. We will no longer have to go begging to every Mideastern despot who makes it to the top of the pile when we need our oil.”

“Once we have Iraq under our control, we can fortify it and make it our base in the Mideast. We will no longer have to rely on Israel being our eye over there. From a strong base in Iraq we can launch an offensive against any problem anywhere from Somalia to the Crimean to Kazakhstan to Bangladesh. We won’t have any more incidents like Iran taking over our embassy and holding hostages that happened under weak-kneed liberal leadership.”

“I don’t think the Iraqis will take lightly to us taking over their country. A poor and backwards as they may be, they are a proud and fierce people.”

Cheney, again sporting that evil smirk that come so much more frequently to his face now that he was President, leaned into the man and stared directly into his face. “Mr., if we can’t make this bunch of modern day nomads eat their own sand then we need to take our entire military and sell it to the Chinese. Were it not for all the UN bans on using nuclear weapons we could have them on their knees in two days.”

McGurty winced at this. “You mean you would seriously use a nuclear weapon?”

Cheney grimaced something that remotely resembled a smile. “Oh, you bet I would. If it would clean up this mess and get those Arabs back in line, then you bet I would.”

McGurty shivered at the man’s coldness. As he left he was relieved when the Presidents door fell shut behind him cutting him off from that other world that seemed embraced by darkness.

TO BE CONTINUED
– – – – – – – – – –

The complete book of 9/12/2001 is available from lulu.com under that exact title for $9.00 plus shipping.

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Hey Kids! Make Your Own ‘Trump for President ‘ Bumper Stickers!

Hey Kids! Make Your Own ‘Trump for President ‘ Bumper Stickers!

Hey Kids! Have Some Fun Cutting Out These ‘Trump For President’ Bumper Stickers!!!

Here is what you need for a little summer fun! Just print off these patriotic bumper stickers, snitch a pair of scissors and some glue from your mom when she isn’t looking and have a blast pasting them all over cars in your neighborhood!

What better way to spend a summer day!

What better way to experience juvenile detention at an early age!

Think of all the no-fun you’ll have!


CHUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!
(NO, IT IS SPELLED RIGHT)

PAID FOR BY DEMOCRATS MESSING WITH THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY.


MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR
THE 1%!
VOTE TRUMP!!!!!!!!!


BRING WORLD WAR III IN
WITH A BANG!!!!!!!
TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!


VOTE DONALD TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Keep the political satirists and cartoonists
employed for the next four years!


MAKE AMERICA SAFE FOR THE OLIGARCHY!
MAKE TRUMP THE MAN!!!!!!


PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT IN THE U.S.
ANYONE THROUGH SHEER ARROGANCE
AND AGGRESSIVENESS CAN BECOME PRESIDENT

VOTE TRUMP!!!

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 10

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 10

9/12/2001
THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED
Part 10

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The Secret Service men fell in behind Cheney as he left. They had their new instructions. No one was to approach him as he left unless they were already on a data bank of his allies. Anyone else might as well be considered an enemy.

The lavishness of the executive lounge was lost on Cheney at the moment. He was so deep in thought that the world outside himself did not exist. There are things one becomes aware of when one is President that cannot help but disturb. There is a reason that most Presidents age greatly during their term of office. Anyone would.

He knew he was going to be in a more difficult position when he made the transition from VP to the top job. But these things always manifest in ways that you cannot foresee. He knew he was a tough man, but there are things that could happen in anyone’s life, and especially that of the head officer of a country, that could break one no matter how strong he was. But he was locked into it now for better or for worse. He could abdicate, give it up. It hadn’t been done before in the U.S., but he was sure he could. But it wouldn’t look good. It would look like he was weak, like he was giving up. His ego couldn’t tolerate that. He would stick it out.

It was a foul thing Bush had done to him by dying. He had had himself set up so fine, in the back of the puppet theater pulling the strings. Now he was the man in front and people were trying to pull his strings. Constantly. He wouldn’t stand for it. He didn’t go through the years of being someone else’s toady to end up being a patsy for everyone else to get better off using him.

He would stick it out for the duration of the term of office. Maybe, if things changed radically for the better, if they could quickly get Iraq screwed down and under their thumb, he would go for a second term. He, with Rove’s help, might even be able to convince the people that he was the right man for the job. Who knows. He now was getting a first hand look at how easily manipulated they were. If nothing else, he would finish out Bush’s term wealthier than ever. By a long shot.

The intercom buzzed. “Yes, Gilda, what is it? …..OK, please send him in.”

The bulk of John Penegrin came through the frame of the door that Gilda opened. His main Halliburton associate, Penegrin had been his buddy since the days when Cheney was their CEO and Penegrin his aide. Now their roles had changed. There was still a camaraderie between them, but Penegrine would not let friendship come in the way of profits either for him or for Halliburton. He was glad to have Cheney in the powerful position that he had, but he would not let the man too far out on a a leash. Cheney was a self willed man, one who could turn against you if you crossed him in any way.

Penegrin could see that Cheney was sweating bullets. One of the marks of getting high up in the oil business is quickly recognizing other peoples weaknesses. And exploiting them. But in Cheney’s case it was a tool to get through to him.

“You don’t seem to be a happy camper, Dick.”

Cheney stopped his pacing and looked at Penegrin. Penegrin could see that he was looking through veils of pain and thought. “This whole 911 mess is wearing me down. I didn’t sign up for this.”

Penegrin put his palms out in a widespread manner. “But it is over, Dick. They hit us and we got the shit knocked out of us.”

Cheney whirled, a scared, viscous look seared his face. “It isn’t over! It is only just begun! Don’t think for a minute that 911 was the end of things!”

Tough as he was, he still inwardly cringed at the ferocity of the man’s fear. “What do you mean?” was the only thing he could think of to say.

Cheney inched closer, a rigid finger pointed at Penegrin’s face. “This is what we must never forget! These Muslim thugs are out to get US! You and me and all the rest of the big boys! They’re not just shooting up our Marines or some diplomatic secretary in Timbuktu. They are after us, the ones who really run the show. And they almost got us with airplanes! Our own airplanes! Who could have guarded against that? Who could have foreseen that? Now we’ve got to be on our toes. Our regular line of defenses won’t keep them out. They are like rats that can crawl in your heating system and bite your neck while you sleep. They can get in your clothes and infect you when you put them on. They hate our guts and would love to see them spilled.”

Penegrin had never seen the man so disturbed. Normally he was the model of iconic cool. The job must have cracked a fissure in him. He needed to do a quick patch job. Cheney wouldn’t fall apart on him, but he didn’t want to have him feel left alone.

He put on his best earnest face. “Don’t worry Dick. These Mullahs ain’t gonna get us. You underestimate our boys. They are all hyped up now from all the gung-ho attitudes that came racing out of the closet after 911. Everyone wants to be Captain America now. Everyone wants a piece of these rag-heads. Even the women.”

“No one knows how to deal with this. It is a whole new ball game. They managed to spike the ball into our court. Not one ball but four. And they hurt. Now everyone is scared. Everyone is wondering where the next one is coming from. How do you deal with that?”

Pelegrin smiled in spite of himself. He walked up and put a hand on Cheney’s shoulder. “How, you ask? By harnessing it!”.

Cheney was giving him one of his ‘what is this’ expressions.

Penegrine pulled his hands back in a wide expression. “If people are afraid, they become like sheep. Sheep want someone to control them, to make them feel safe. Be the shepherd. You will have them in your hands.” He smiled an oily smile. “We need to have people under our control. It is good for business. If they are willing to be pets to you, use that. We need all the power we can get.”

“Yeah, I’m having to learn a lot of new talents here. Its not like I can just yell and everyone will jump in line some times.” His mind wanders for a bit. “Sometimes I actually get zealous of these dictators like Putin or Saddam or these jerk asses in Myanmar. They just give an order and it gets obeyed. They make a law and it is done. No fussing about. No debates, no questions. Just action. It gets done. Beautiful. Too bad we can’t have more of that in this country. We’d get a lot more done.”

“Indeed. Democracies aren’t all they are cracked up to be. Look at Putin. A guy there builds a petroleum industry and becomes the richest man in Russia. He stands up to Putin, Putin gets pissed and has him thrown in prison. Putin makes the oil industry governmental and thereby becomes the one running it. Makes him an instant billionaire. Just think what you could do with that much power!”

The irony of the statement made Cheney laugh spontaneously, as hard and genuine as Perengin had ever heard him. “Yeah, just imagine!” He laughed more. “Maybe that is the way to do things. Nobody talks back to Putin, do they?”

They both laughed long and hard.

Penegrin sobered first, waiting for Cheney to do the same. He waited the few seconds necessary before he said what he wanted to since before he came in.

“Dick,” He spoke more softly and directly, “there is a way to remedy this for all of us.”

Cheney eyed him with the same directness, already knowing what he was going to say.

The one word Penegrin uttered said it all- “Iraq.”

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The News (Really) Bytes – July 2015

The News (Really) Bytes – July 2015

Buddhists show their deep belief in the teachings of their saint- Buddha- by murdering and repressing the ethnic Muslims in Myanmar.

Turkey, coming to the aid of the U.S. and other nations battling Isis in the Middle-east decide to drop a few bombs on the Kurds in their own country as well.

The Kurds have proven to be the best fighters against Isis, but the Turkish government is leery of their success. The Turkish explain “Ah, we just had a few bombs left over and didn’t want to waste them.” Continue Reading

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NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

Realizing statistically that whenever there is a gun related mass murder by a mentally ill individual or group that gun sales go up out of fear that they will be outlawed.

Because of this gun manufacturers have started pushing the NRA to get more guns into the hands of as many psychopaths as possible.

A secret email has been acquired by a hacker and turned over to Washington newspapers who in turn exposed it to the reading public. Continue Reading

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Berke Breathed Breathes Life Again Into Bloom County

Berke Breathed Breathes Life Again Into Bloom County

Berke Breathed, beloved cartoonist of the once greatly beloved cartoon Bloom County, has returned from the dead……

Oh…..

Wait a moment……he wasn’t actually dead……..

He only stopped making his cartoon for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!!

Bloom County, once one of the most syndicated cartoons in the US back in the 1980’s, will be soon be showing its multicolored face in the funny papers again.

Wildly amusing and wildly drawn the series followed the equally wild adventures of Milo Bloom, a lost penguin named Opus and his side kick Bill the Cat.

Bill the Cat……..

If there ever was a unique cartoon character to illuminate the Sunday paper it was Bill the Cat. Combine the worst elements of every American cartoon cat there has ever been going all the way back to Krazy Kat when newspapers were born and you would produce Bill the Cat. And, yes, that includes and surpasses Garfield.

Both Otis and Bill the Cat became icons of the 1980’s. Otis’s homely and lovelorn images graced many a number of plush and plastic toys, his protuberance jutting outward into prominence (I’M TALKING ABOUT HIS NOSE!!!!!!!!). Bill the Cat brought such manginess to the Sunday funnies that you were afraid to touch the paper for fear of getting ringworm.

One wonders why Breathed would return to his long forgotten cartoon after so many decades.

He says he was inspired by Donald Trump’s running for President.

????????????????????????????????(very pregnant pause)???????????????????????????????

OK………………………..

Well, it’s nice to know that something good came out of Trump’s announcement of his running, other than it messing up the Republican platform real good. Not that they don’t deserve him.

I can very much imagine the humorous potential the great orange haired one can inspire in an artist. Like Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead Breathed has risen Bloom County back from the deceased.

One has to wonder what Breathed has been up to the past 25 years.
Rumors abound:

One has it that he ran off with Brooke Shields to a desert island and had twenty five years of endless sex in paradise. Or that could have just been the plot of a movie I saw once.

Another said that he had joined a cult that lived underground in bunkers with elaborate tunnels going in all directions in preparation for any number of possible holocaustic disasters. He only quit when he found out the latest tunnel he was digging was to free Pablo Guzman.

Yet another said he joined the circus and performed as a lion taming clown trapeze artist, but gave it up because it never had the satisfying wildness that his cartoons had.

Then there is the rumor that he locked himself inside his one bedroom apartment watching endless reruns of Seinfeld, Bugs Bunny, the Twilight Zone and Ice Station Zebra while eating a steady diet of cheese puffs until he went quietly mad and realized that his only back to sanity was through his artistry.

Take your pick.

Either way, Trump barging full force upon the political scene threw some switches in his soul and brought him back to reality and to modern American civilization. Let’s just hope the 25 years of being lost will not be too much of a shock to him. We all use cell phones now Berke and Captain Kangaroo is no longer on TV.

So, welcome back Berke! Nice to see you again! Be sure to bring Bill the Cat and Opus along with you!

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Donald Trump’s War Record

Donald Trump’s War Record

After Donald Trump’s scathing attack on Senator John McCain’s war record the Investigation’s Department here at Glossy News did a little digging into Trump’s own military record.

It turns out that the great Donald also has a legacy of war experience.

Here is what we have uncovered:

As a young child Donald Trump on 10 separate occasions was involved in fierce snowball fights, one even causing injury to his right leg as he was hit by a devious ice-ball. Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 9

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 9

9/12/2001 – THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED – Part 9 (A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The door closed, the room hushed. General Tromsa had an innate feeling as he has had only a few times in his life at critical moments when he intuitively knew that something was about to happen that would leave his life channeled into another direction from what it had been previously.

Cheney walked a few paces ahead of him, then turned and gazed piercingly into his eyes. He knew he was to show this man respect, and he did, but he did not like him.

He recognized him as a powerful person, but also as one who never did anything that did not benefit himself or his own position in life. The General would need to be obliging, but also careful in dealing with the man who had too much power suddenly dropped into his hands.

“General Tromsa, would you be so kind as to sit next to me. This will concern you most of all.” asked Cheney covering up the microphone.

Cheney carefully weighed what he was about to say, choosing a specific tone of voice to carry it over- “Gentlemen, we need a new agency that goes a step beyond what the CIA, the FBI and the NSA does. We need an organization that can watch out for all terrorist threats to this country and specialize on that.“

“Sir, I’m sure the CIA, NSA and FBI can be counted on in those regards. They have many years of experience.” put in General Tromsa.

“The situation is, General, that these rag heads and any of a bunch of other such hoodlums have proven that even cavemen like them can get in and bomb US, (he tapped his chest for effect) that is you and me and that we were in no way ready for it.”

Tromsa could hear the subtle irritation in Cheney’s voice. He knew the man thought of himself as beyond all others in knowledge and regarded even he, a four star general, as a lesser-ling.

“US, General, the people who run this goddamn country! It not like they went after bumfuck Nebraska, they went after us- Washington, New York, the Pentagon; the real nerve centers of the country.

“The people who really run this show. And three weeks ago they got the President of the United States and turned him into sausage. They pulverized the CEO’s of eight corporations at the Twin Towers.

“We need something that will iron clad us, I don’t care how much of the Treasury we have to rob to get it going! Gentlemen, this job will be yours. Of course, I will oversee it and will be the ultimate approver of it.”

“This is a matter I want to make the greatest priority along with finding and eliminating the organization that was behind this attack. Our new agency will be the one to do it.”

Cheney’s eyes shot around the room for any sign of dissent. Not finding any he continued. “I will turn this over to my advisers for questions and answers. I shall return shortly as there are other matters pending that I must attend to.”

“We are going to need a new body to watch out for us. One that embodies and oversees all other intelligence agencies. That is my goal and quest to form that body of intelligence.”

The assembled politicians and military personnel all cast covert looks at each other. Tromsa knew it would be a huge job. He could also see that Cheney was already fully into his role of President. Perhaps he had been for a long time already.

The Senate subcommittee was the next day. It was not as easy going as General Tromsa had been about the previous gathering.

They called the President into a meeting of Senators and Legislators to get down to the meaning of this new organization. Officials from the FBI and CIA were also there.

“The matter is simple- there is no need for another intelligence agency Mr. President. We already have three competent, battle proved agencies whose track record everyone knows.

“We do our job, Mr. President, and frankly, I think we do it very well. There are no shirkers here at the FBI. And I am sure that my colleagues at the CIA can make a similar boast.”

Cheney spoke calmly, little belaying that he was upset by this insubordination.

“As the enemy progresses in sophistication, so must we. We are now dealing on too many fronts with people who would damage us and limit us if they can.

“The CIA and FBI are foremost organizations and, of course, exemplary of what America can produce. But for these new threats we need a new force, a new pair of eyes, different sets of muscle.

“We need an organization that can perceive a threat and take ready action against it. It also cannot be limited by the restraints that the other law agencies must endure. We need an organization that can work around limitations and step in where the other two cannot not.”

“What is the need Mr. President? It would be a huge waste of government funds. The taxpayers have been howling for so long that we are spending too much.”

“I believe the taxpayers are more concerned about what happened at 911 and that this what is crucial on their minds. The American people want to feel safe. The new agency I wish for would concentrate directly on keeping all within our borders safe.”

“At any price, Mr. President?”

“At any price. Safely and security are the top priorities.”

“What will this agency do that the FBI and The CIA cannot do?”

“The new agency, which will be code named ‘Homeland Security’ will be just that. They will exist for that sole purpose- protecting the homeland, America, against all aggressors and all invasions down to the individual.

“They will oversee all incidents relating to internal and national security and they will aggressively eliminate all threats to them. We will begin with installing agents of this organization at all ports of entry to this country to oversee that all persons, luggage and material entering this country will be subject to extreme surveillance so that no threat shall enter these borders be they human or material.

“When they grow more into their roles then they will also be injected into other lands.”

“Sir, I truly believe the two we have already can do that already.

“This new agency will also be overseeing the other two.’

There was a dead silence in the auditorium.

Disbelievingly, Director Micheals spoke. “This Homeland Security will be over seeing the CIA and the FBI?”

“That is correct, Director Micheals.”

His statement lit a spark that now engulfed the room. Angry talk and discussions rolled throughout the air. The Director rose out of his chair in anger. “This is an outrage!

“A fledgling organization, fresh born, will oversee two agencies that have proved themselves in battle over decades! That is an insult! What in the world are you thinking?”

“I have conferred with my aides and they see eye to eye on this. We need an oversight organization.”

“This is a form of treason, President Cheney! This is incredible! Who would this Homeland Security answer to?”

“To me personally.”

“Ahh, I see. To you personally! So that would give you de facto control over all three organizations. How smart! How dictatorial!”

Irritation grew in Cheney’s nerves, giving his eyes a wolf like glow. “It is something that needs to be done, Micheals. We can’t be fooling around with these terrorists. We need to have an iron protection around this country.”

“And that is what you will have Mr. Cheney, an iron control over this country. And I think that is what you want.”

Cheney’s blood pressure was spiking. ‘I am doing what I believe to be necessary for the country, Mr. Micheals. Nothing more.”

Micheals leaned forward in his chair and fastened a direct eye upon the new President. “Tell me something, Mr. Cheney- Were these new terrorists a threat only to our military personnel or to ordinary civilians, would you be going to this much trouble to make a new organization?”

Cheney felt a glowing anger sear through his brain. It was his time for bold faced lying. “I am only doing what I believe necessary to protect the people of this country. I do not see why I need to be condemned for that. I believe our conference has come to an end, gentlemen. Good day.”

A muted gasp went up from many of the reporters assembled followed by angry muttering. Many flashed dark glances at the President as they put together their papers for leaving.

“Good day indeed… “ Muttered Micheals under his breath as he collected his papers in his briefcase and stormed out. The tension in the room was unbearable.

To be continued…

– – – – – – – – – – – –
The entire book of 9/12/2001 is available on lulu.com.

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Chicago Finally Solves Its Deficit By Charging Tax On Corruption

Chicago Finally Solves Its Deficit By Charging Tax On Corruption

The recent tax Chicago levied on streaming online shows from organizations such as Netflix and Hulu has proved hugely unpopular and unprofitable even for the town famous for taxing everything possible and then having the money disappear into a great black hole in its labyrinthine governmental abyss. Continue Reading

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Hey! Grab Them Cuban Guys! I Need My Car Fixed!

Hey! Grab Them Cuban Guys! I Need My Car Fixed!

Now that Cuba and the United States are starting to talk to each other again, this could be the start of a beautiful relationship Humphrey Bogart- Claude Rains style. We got the money, they got the raw talent. I’m talking cars here.

Because of the 1960’s trade embargo Cuba has been cut off from the great world of American automobiles (that is- great to them, not to the rest of the world. Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 8 – The Top Dog Meeting

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 8 – The Top Dog Meeting

9/12/2001 – THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED – Part 8 (A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – READ THEM HERE: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7.

The atmosphere in the meeting room was the tensest of any since 911. It was also the most secretive. Cheney had watched closely the actions of his secret service men and had made a special section within them who would answer directly to him and not to their chief.

They had autonomy from the rest of the secret Service. They now guarded, under a form of secrecy never seen before in the White House, a ‘Green Zone’ within the periphery of the meeting. What was unusual was that other politicians were excluded and to be kept in the dark about the assembly.

The other unusuality was that the majority of those in the group were from outside the political sphere, CEO’s, industry representatives and other non-coms were ushered into a meeting that would prove to be as historic as The Yalta Conference- were historians ever to learn of it.

Cheney came in late. All rose in proper respect. But he would not be the main one speaking. He was not the top dog here. The top dog was not even there.

The honor of being the prime speaker would be Marshall Koheso, representative for the Unalgo Petroleum Consortium. He would be speaking on behalf of the President of the Corporation, Johnathon Meyers.

Mr. Meyers had deemed it wise not to be there himself. Even with the tight security he feared that a leak of his presence there would be disastrous both to him and to the company.

So, thereby, Mr. Koheso being little more than an intelligent mouthpiece, got to be King For A Day at the conference.

Mr. Koheso walked up to the podium. He wasted no time in getting to the point. “So, gentlemen, welcome! We have a lot to go over and it would be wise to keep our time here to a minimum and to get as much said in done in as few words as possible.

I am hoping that everyone has their cell phones turned off and, I most sincerely hope that no one is wearing a bug because we are monitoring for such. I don’t need to mention the embarrassment that would occur if we were to interrupt this meeting because someone was wearing one.”

He stopped for a moment and gave a sharp eyed look around the room for anyone looking uncomfortable with that announcement.

“We might as well jump into it. World oil production had reached its peak. The chance of finding more large oil deposits is diminishing. China and India are moving up in their energy usage.

My friends, the world is only so big. There is only so much oil. We need to grab our share while we can. Now we have our chance”

”Ten years ago we engaged in a war to free Kuwait from Saddam Hussein’s domination. We succeeded. And by succeeding we gained the trust and a good percentage of the oil reserves of Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. But we made a bad mistake. We should have taken Iraq as well.

We had them by the tail and we intentionally let go. With oil supplies dwindling it would have been logical to keep Iraq with a quarter of the world’s oil supplies under our thumb.”

“Now the advent of the Afghanistan war has given us another opportunity. Iraq is right next door. This is a golden chance. Everyone thinks the worst of Saddam Hussein. It wouldn’t take much to make it look like he was involved in 911.

Not much at all. If we were to prove convincingly that he was, then we would have an excuse to march back to Baghdad. And it would be the same cake walk that it was the last time.”

“We have been conferring confidentially with military and financial experts about the possibility of launching a strike on Iraq. Most agree that it is a feasible undertaking.

If it were to be done Blitzkrieg style with little announcement, rapid deployment and little interference from outside powers, we could have command of the Iraqi oilfields in a week.”

A murmur of comment sounded throughout the room.

“What would seal the initiative would be if we were to say that Hussein had the ability to launch weapons against us or Europe and make it stick. That would be the clincher.” He waited to let this sink in.

“If we could convince Americans that Iraq could blow them out of their pajamas in the dead of night, Iraq would be ours for the taking. If we could convince at least a good portion of Europeans the same, so much the sweeter.”

He stopped and looked around the room, gauging how they were taking this. He saw reflective, pensive and thoughtful faces, all mulling over what he had just introduced.

He sensed a hesitancy, an unwillingness to go this far. He would have to hammer the last nail in the coffin.

“It is only a matter of time before the oil starts to run short. Do we want the Chinese to get the majority of it? Think of how much they would squander if their 2 billion all got autos. India has one billion people. Between the two of them that is 9 times as many people as are in the United States.“

He let this sink in. “I will put it bluntly gentlemen- if we are to survive we need Iraq! If we take Iraq now, we will thrive at least through our generation.”

He let the hammer fall. “And lets be honest folks, all we really care about it our generation. What happens after we are gone is someone elses problem.”

He went on at length to explain the inaccuracies of the situation to a rapt audience.

Spirited discussion broke out all around him. Some of it was fearful, some aggressive.

While the chatter was going on and the attention was scattered, Koheso carefully worked his way to the edge of the podium, then engaged in some fake dialogue with a colleague at the end of it.

A couple of secret service men in plainclothes surrounded him appearing to engage in conversation, then, when no one was looking, spirited him away through a false panel out of sight of the audience.

Two of the normally garbed secret service agents escorted him up the hidden walkway and out an unmarked exit, making sure he made it to his car unmolested and out the gate.

His disappearance was a major psychological factor of the presentation. His partner Lance Jainson would be left to give a set of predetermined answers to whoever asked. And the answers were all oriented towards war in Iraq.

NEWS FLASH! – “The Pentagon maintains that Iraq has weapons that could cause massive destruction against the United States, Europe and Israel. Officials say that satellite photos have given officials enough evidence to support the theory that the country has missiles with the capability of reaching the United States.

“It is also believed that Saddam Hussein has received the instructions needed to build an atomic warhead from Palestinian agents within his country. Top military Generals are saying that we might need a greater troop buildup in Afghanistan in case things start to get difficult in Iraq.”

— – – – – – – –
To Be Continued…
— – – – – – – –

The complete book of ‘9/12/2001’ is available from lulu.com.

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Exclusive Interview w/ John Hance, Incredible Teller of Big Whoppers at The Grand Canyon

Exclusive Interview w/ John Hance, Incredible Teller of Big Whoppers at The Grand Canyon

You’ve heard the tales of Paul Bunyan.
You know the exploits of Pecos Bill.
Maybe you’ve heard of the German Baron Munchhausen.
But have you ever heard the legend of John Hance? You will now:

Glossy News has succeeded in gaining an interview with one of the greats of Grand Canyon history- the unforgettable John Hance, the first white man to live at the Grand Canyon and famous story teller from the late 1800’s. Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People, Travel0 Comments

The News (Really) Bytes – June 2015

The News (Really) Bytes – June 2015

Jeb Bush announces candidacy for President – The head political office of the U.S. is now going back to the Bush Leagues.

Rachel Dolezal, a white person, pretended to be black and became head of the Spokane Washington NAACP and now has stepped down making true the statement “Once you go black you hate to go back”.

Hurricane Bill threatens the Texas coast. Hurricane Rick Perry threatens the entire country.

The Jurassic World movie reboot sets record for opening week for a movie – who ever knew dinosaurs could reincarnate? Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unimaginable Happened – Part 7 – the Iraq Factor

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unimaginable Happened – Part 7 – the Iraq Factor

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unimaginable Happened – Part 7 – The Iraq Factor
(A serial book excerpt)
After President Bush is killed when Flight 93 strikes the White House on 9/11, Vice President Cheney ascends to the throne. Things begin to change quite radically:

READ THEM HERE: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6.
– – – – – – – – – – – – –

Part 7 – The Iraq Factor

McGurty was ushered into the office. Cheney stood up to meet him. Continue Reading

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