Lincoln Monuments Attacked When Americans Realize He Created Income Tax

Lincoln Monuments Attacked When Americans Realize He Created Income Tax

Upon reading an article in a national newspaper stating that Abraham Lincoln was the one responsible for starting federal income tax, angered Americans across the country began a hate campaign against all memorabilia of the formerly beloved President.

Mobs in Washington D.C. went after the Lincoln Memorial with sledge hammers and axes this morning rendering the huge statue legless after a couple hours. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics1 Comment

EXCLUSIVE – An Interview With Mrs. Tsarnaev- Mother Of The Boston Bombers

EXCLUSIVE – An Interview With Mrs. Tsarnaev- Mother Of The Boston Bombers

Glossy – Good day, Mrs. Tsarnaev! Thank you for agreeing to do this interview with us.

Mrs. Tsarnaev – You should be thankful, you American sensationalist pig.

Glossy – Um…. well, that gets things off to a rousing start! As long as we are on the subject, why did your family come to America?

Mrs. Tsarnaev – We came here to experience the American Dream.

Glossy – Oh, you mean experiencing freedom and the importunity to make your lives better? Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People0 Comments

What Would Allah Do?

What Would Allah Do?

If the Shi’ites were fighting the Sunni’s what would Allah want?

He say for them to lay down their arms and realize that they are brothers of the same faith.

If a Moslem country’s leaders were demonizing other countries to make them look bad, what would Allah do?

He would say ”My children, look to your own lives and the ways to improve it. Do not cast your sight abroad to look for the sins your own soul reflects.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them.

Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them.

When traveling, safety is of the utmost importance.

Each year over six million people are gored to death in the Grand Canyon by cactii alone.

Don’t be a statistic. Be smart… I mean, you’ll still be a statistic, technically, but the better kind.

What to do in the Grand Canyon if:

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Posted in Travel1 Comment

(The) News (Really) Bytes – March

(The) News (Really) Bytes – March

57 Republican Senators send a letter to the Iranian government stating that all of Obama’s efforts to create a truce between them and us is in vain because when they get back in power they will make them great, horrible enemies again so that their armaments keepers will still give them kickbacks- Way to go guys!

It wasn’t bad enough that you made Obama look bad by inviting that Yahoo named Netanyahu over to blather on about how this whole deal will endanger his own country that doesn’t give a whit about what is good for the U.S. or the rest of the world, only his land matters.

Just remember, Senators, that it is guys like you that started this whole mess with Iran. Do you recall back when we supported the Shah who was a ruthless dictator who slaughtered and tortured his own people? You don’t? I didn’t think so. The Iranians certainly haven’t forgotten.

The Republican memory doesn’t seem to roam much beyond the latest artificial crisis that they have themselves invented. And why is newly elected Senator Tom Cotton raising all this fuss in the first place? Aren’t they supposed to know their place according to right wing tradition?

Hillary’s emails – Speaking of artificial crises. Hillary kept her emails secret? So what! What are we, the National Enquirer? Rupert Murdoch nosing his way into everyone’s telephone conversations? With the NSA peeking at everything we do outside bedroom trysts maybe that is not a bad idea.

She even had her own server to help keep it private. Guess what? That makes her SMART! Isn’t that what you want in a Presidential candidate? Oh, I know- you Republican guys want another Bush. Forget I even mentioned it.

The Keystone Pipeline – It is the environmentalists against the right wing, or, another way of looking at it- the non-realistic idealists versus the ruthlessly greedy.

Question- they have refineries up in Canada don’t they?. They aren’t really a third world country that can’t turn black icky stuff into stinky clear stuff that will power your mobile up to the 7-11 for a late night booze run. Why can’t they just make the stuff up there?

Oh, I forgot, we have to control all the oil in the world. Sorry, I forgot. True, it will bring more employment. They already have so many people up there that it is throwing the original North Dakotans into turmoil. Plus there is all that work cleaning up the derailed crude oil trains. Also the streams they pollute.

Moscow finds ‘suspects’ in the killing of the dissident Boris Nemtsov – How convenient! The Moscow police find the ‘suspected’ killers of Boris Nemtsov, the opposition leader gunned down on his way home from a party.

And they just happen to be Chechen! How is that for odd! The Chechens are only Putin’s biggest pain in the butt in Russia, being Muslim and uppity and all.

Strange, though, that they would have a reason to shoot Boris Nemtsov. You would think that they would like anyone who rattles Putin’s cage. There is just no knowing on such things.

Except the KGB who just might know that this is a great way to kill (or imprison) two birds with one stone- Putin gets rid of two pains in the butt at one time, one being Nemtsov and the other being a number of Chechens who are probably nothing but trouble to him anyway.

India removes documentary on gang raping of young student on bus – Yeah, just pretend like it never happened. Maybe Indian girls should start wearing veils over their faces like the Muslims do.

Maybe the Indian government officials should too so that it harder to scrutinize them.

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Posted in Top Stories0 Comments

Justifiable Justice – Making the Punishment Ergonomic with the Crime

Justifiable Justice – Making the Punishment Ergonomic with the Crime

Punishments for crime have become rote in our modern society.

A person can murder any number of people and still be allowed to live his life out even though he is less that worthless to the society which allows him to survive.

Monsters on the international level can create atrocities for which they are not condemned.

Irresponsible pundits appear on the world stage who wreck havoc with in their own lands and yet are able to convince their fellow citizens that they are heroes. Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People5 Comments

A Message From The Upper 1% To You Remaining 99% Lesserlings

A Message From The Upper 1% To You Remaining 99% Lesserlings

Greetings,

We, the 1% of this nation and others in this world that truly control what goes on inside our societies have taken the time to write to you little people who make up the other 99% of the citizenry.

You should be thankful. We rarely take the time or the danger of sullying ourselves by dealing with you lesserlings.

In truth, we are making this condescension in order to let you people know your place. You might as well get used to the idea that we run things now and have for a long time. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Society2 Comments

Netan-YAHOO’s Speaks Before The American Congress

Netan-YAHOO’s Speaks Before The American Congress

The President of Israel, Netan-YAHOO, has given his talk today at the American Congress.

His coming to America has been a bone of contention between the Republicans and Democrats (what else is new?) as Netan-YAHOO was not invited by President Obama but rather by Speaker of the House John Boehner, a breach of normal U.S. international protocol unless of course you want to piss off the President and make him look bad. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Finally! A New Protest on Red Square… Sort of…

Finally! A New Protest on Red Square… Sort of…

The news came across the wires of a huge protest in Moscow, right on Red Square.

Really??!!!!

Are the Russian masses finally rallying up against the ex-KGB man who has reinvented Czarism in a modern form?
Is the second great Russian revolution finally taking form?

No. False alarm. Go ahead and go back to whatever you were doing. Nothing to see here. No fire. No bodies to see. Just another Putin backed big show of force and false support for his international messing with every other country on earth. Continue Reading

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Posted in World News0 Comments

GlossyNews Scores Exclusive Interview w/ Vlad the Impaler Putin, Czar of Russia

GlossyNews Scores Exclusive Interview w/ Vlad the Impaler Putin, Czar of Russia

Glossy News has been fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Vladimir Putin, the leader of Russia, a man very much in the news these days.

It is not often that the Premier grants anyone from the West an exclusive interview, especially since he is not allowed to enter the U.S.

We had to do the Interview on his exclusive 300 foot yacht off the Crimea coast. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone26 Comments

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

The Apocalypse is close at hand. The signs of the times are showing themselves. I am sure that there is a verse in Revelations that says “…and verily all the good comedians will leave the scene and only darkness shall thereafter be manifest…”.

Jon Stewart, primary televised purveyor of jokes and satirist extraordinaire for the entire western hemisphere has announced that he will be leaving his job at The Daily Show sometime this year. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Television0 Comments

Katy Perry Spent a Lot Of Time Contemplating Her Super Bowl Act

Katy Perry Spent a Lot Of Time Contemplating Her Super Bowl Act

“Maybe I should do a French Kiss with another superstar like Brittany Spears and Madonna did. I wonder if Taylor Swift would be available for that? Or should I do an underwear-less limo exit like Brittany did that one time? That got a lot of coverage.”

A lot of money and concern is spent by performers and by the NFL alike preparing for the biggest sporting event and one of the biggest entertainment shows of the year in the U.S. Almost anything goes for this colossal showcase which mixes the two key elements that made America great — show business and football. Almost anything… Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Sports Events4 Comments

Life…

Life…

Life- An annoying thing that happens when you wake up in the morning.

Life- The commitment you don’t remember having agreed to.

Life- 16 hours you have to live through before you can go back to bed again.

Life- A pain in the ass that doesn’t limit itself to just that area.

Life- A journey on a sea of unknown depths.

Life- Two third of a day that it takes one third of a night to recover from.

Life- A scream just waiting to happen.

Life- God’s way of getting even with us.

Life- The thing they don’t teach us about in school. Or warn us about.

Life- A bad dream that doesn’t stop when you wake up.

Life- That solid sock in the gut that lets you know you are alive.

Life- A swim in an ocean of limited visibility.

Life- A running race that apparently has no rules or borders but a very definite finish line.

Life- A screaming headache that begins when you wake up and doesn’t shut up until you finally fall asleep.

Life- A waking nightmare until sleep comes to claim you again.

Life- Like being born again every morning only messier.

Life- Like the movie Groundhog Day only you don’t need 3-D glasses to make it more realistic.

Life- Who says Hell comes AFTER you die?

Life- The one thing even the best drugs or booze can’t blot out.

Life- Like those dreams where you fall off a cliff and don’t hit bottom except you do.

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Posted in Society, The Rest0 Comments

Islamic Terrorists Shot In Paris Arrive In Jihadist Heaven

Islamic Terrorists Shot In Paris Arrive In Jihadist Heaven

The three Islamic assassins who killed French citizens at Charlie Hebdo and a Jewish delicatessen arrive at the destination they had given their lives for, the Jihadist heaven promised them.

An angel greets them as they arrive.

“Welcome gentlemen. I hope your journey was peaceful.”

“Hardly!” stated Said Kouachi sarcastically. “We got our shit shot to pieces.” Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone0 Comments

Je Suis Charlie – Where Murder And Humor Have Met

Je Suis Charlie – Where Murder And Humor Have Met

As you know, yesterday three gunmen entered the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French satirical magazine, and killed twelve people.

The magazine was known for its biting satire and has several times depicted Mohamed in a mocking fashion. It is considered a damnable sin in Islam to make any sort of picture of their Prophet.

The office of Charlie had been firebombed in 2011. The editor and staff had been often been sent death threats. On January 7th those threats were made real. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Religionism2 Comments

N.Y. Police Turning Backs On de Blasio Illustrate Exactly Where The City’s Problems Lie

N.Y. Police Turning Backs On de Blasio Illustrate Exactly Where The City’s Problems Lie

The New York Police twice turning their backs on Mayor de Blasio during his speeches at the funerals of two slain officers gives a strong indication of exactly where their whole racial problem started.

The police showing disrespect for the Mayor and a total lack of ability to see his point of view is the heart of the problem that has plagued the NYPD for decades. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crooked Cops, Serious Commentary4 Comments

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