Putin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight

Putin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight

Obama and other world leaders were sitting around the UN private lounge contemplating what to do about the Syrian crisis that was disturbing all of the Mideast and Europe. Depression had set in due to the difficulties that had arisen over the situation that seemed to escalate no matter what their efforts were. And it all was basically because of one man- Bashar al-Assad, the dictator of Syria.

The X-Box like control mechanism that determined the bombings of the day lay on a table between them. No one had the enthusiasm to touch it.

Suddenly the door burst open and an energetic presence entered.

“Greetings Comrades. I am here to solve the Syrian problem!” The unusually smiley face of Vladimir Putin greeted all the seated dignitaries as he hurriedly went around the circle of sofas shaking hands. “I am the answer to all your difficulties!”

The guests, at first stunned by his unexpected entrance, slowly woke up from their trance. German Chancellor Angela Merckel was at first upset by his appearance as it was well known he had been a KGB agent in her country of East Germany during the Cold War. Quickly, though, the present day situation came back to her and she applauded his being there. “Oh good! Now we have some real forces to help battle ISIS!” she stated.

President Obama wasn’t quite as enthusiastic, but he knew that Putin taking part in the action would relieve some of the pressure off of him. He put out his hand to shake and said as cheerful a “Welcome” as he could muster considering his past interactions with the Russian top dog.

The other Heads of State, mostly European Prime Ministers, nodded or bowed to Putin as they gripped his hand. The Saudi prince who was there continued to sleep soundly at his end of the sofa as he had done little to help the whole time he had been there already and the others, including Putin, just left him to his sleep.

Once he had made the rounds Putin clasped his hands together and asked “OK, where is that bombing control?”.

“Right there on the table.” John Kerry pointed out. With an afterthought he added “Remember, we are only bombing the ISIS areas!”

“Of course, of course!” said Putin softly, concentrating more on the control stick and not on what was being said.

“Right good of you to join us.” Stated British Prime Minister David Cameron commendingly.

“Are you getting the hang of it?” asked French President Francois Hollande of the Russian President.

“I have much experience…..” answered the Russian demi-god focused intently on the screen before him as he fervidly manipulated the control. “…much experience….”

Obama thought to turn on the large viewer screen on the wall so that they all could see what Putin was doing.

It wasn’t pretty.

“Hey!” said John Kerry “You are hitting all of our Syrian allies down there! What are you doing?”

Putin was totally absorbed by what he was doing and ignored him.

Obama rose from his couch. “You can’t do that! We agreed to only go after ISIS!”

“ISIS, terrorists- all the same. I take care of them once and for all now.”

“”But….but ….. that is not the proper way to do things internationally!” stuttered John Kerry,the Secretary of State, astounded at Putin’s gall. “That goes against all codes of social ethics! It goes against the Geneva Convention!”

“Russia does not need ethics or Geneva Convention. Russia big enough to do what it wants.” The Russian President said over his shoulder as he rained bombs down upon a anti-Assad village.

“What shall we do?” whispered all the participants to one another. No one had an answer. They did not want to anger the Russian bear.

Overhearing this Putin finally raised his head from his very special game. “I know what I do.” he said with a finality. “I take control myself!” and with that ripped the control out of the socket, grabbed the machine it was attached to and stormed out of the room.

The Heads of State all looked at each other quizzically not knowing what to do. Finally they all shrugged and said “Well, I guess it is all out of our hands now. Hey, what is the dessert today down at the restaurant?”


Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

9/12/2001  – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 14

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 14

Part 14

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The cleaners were already to tidy up after the meeting with the fat cats. Peterson was the only one left in the room. Cheney kept on talking; the vein of conversation had touched an important core in him and he would not stop it. He talked on, not realizing that Peterson was not in total agreement with what he said. Continue Reading


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A German Farmer Hears A Knock Upon His Door Early One Morning

A German Farmer Hears A Knock Upon His Door Early One Morning

A German farmer hears a knock upon his door early one morning. Upon opening it he is greeted by the sight of a bedraggled immigrant family outside with a number of children. They are wearing tattered and torn clothes native to their area of the globe.

“Good day!” says the lightly bearded, smiling man in heavily accented English who must be the father of the family.

“We have just snuck across your border and would like to get the generous asylum that you Germans offer. We escaped from our country where we have never learned to get along or assimilate with the minorities in our own land and have infighting within our own religious sects to the point where we are willing to brutally kill, maim and blow each other up. Due to the negativities in our religious and political beliefs we are unable to maintain a stable government and resort to killing and imprisoning each other over petty things.”

“We subjugate our women, our children and our minorities to the point where they cannot even maintain any sort of profitable or independent lifestyle. Our women are virtual slaves to every lust or drudgery we men inflict upon them by men from childhood to adulthood.”

“Our religion and our police state regimes keep us so backward socially that we are eternally in poverty and so crippled intellectually that we still exist at a medieval level and are unable to compete financially with the rest of the world around us.”

“That is why we are escaping our negative society and wandering to your land so that you can clothe and feed us and give us monetary handouts and jobs and welfare and all the other benefits that your people have worked for decades to develop.

We feel that because we are poor and unwilling to face the problems we have in our own lands we will invade your and share our problems with you. We watched closely for the last couple decades as you took in and sheltered immigrants from every other catastrophe in the European area and feel you are obligated to do the same with us.”

“To get here we paid what little money we had to criminals to illegally bring us to your western lands against the will of your leaders at great risk to ourselves, our wives and our children. We then showed disrespect for the borders and laws of every country we tramped through to get here and rejected offers of asylum at those places because we know Germany is the golden goose of Europe and we can get richer here.”

“Once established here we will refuse to fully adapt into your land, form our own enclaves and our young will eventually become angry with you and plot against you to your own disadvantage.”

“So, where are the apartments you must give us and the food and the clothing?”

While all this was being said, the German farmers very old mother doddered slowly up to the door and listened in to what was being said.

“Himmel willen!” she cried. “We rebuilt this land back up from the ashes after an Austrian, another Auslander, came in and dictated what we were to do and how. We had to clean up after his mess and I don’t see why we should have to clean up after yours too!” She then slammed the door in his face.

The Mideast father was stunned by this for a moment, then finally turned to his wife and said, “OK, let’s try the next farmhouse.”


Posted in World News0 Comments

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 13

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 13

Part 13
(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Rumsfeld entered the office, his hands tightly clenching a bunch of papers signaling that something was up.

“Dick, France is not going along with the idea of attacking Iraq. Chirac has already made a press conference stating so.” Continue Reading


Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Serious Commentary0 Comments

A Deeper Look Is Needed – The Immigrant Problem

A Deeper Look Is Needed – The Immigrant Problem

There is a failure in our modern media to take a deeper look at the roots of the problems that ours and other societies are facing in the world.

At present a huge wave of immigrants are racing across the Mediterranean to Europe to claim their stake in it. Most are fleeing the conflict in Syria; others are escaping the poverty in their third world countries like Afghanistan or Sudan. Continue Reading


Posted in Politics, Serious Commentary3 Comments

Google Googled Google Just To Ogle The Googles About Google.

Google Googled Google Just To Ogle The Googles About Google.

Barney Google googled Google just to ogle the googles about Gooble.
The googles that Google googled had oodles of googles about Google.
There is a gargantuan glossary of googles about Googles.
Gaggles of Google groupies google Google all the time. Continue Reading


Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 12 ‘The New Capitol’

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 12 ‘The New Capitol’

9/12/2001 – THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED – Part 12 – The New Capitol

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country.

He begins immediately to make changes. Continue Reading


Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans

Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans

A Rathskeller deep in the forested woods. Night has drawn its blackest curtain across the outer world, blocking out even the niggardly light from the stars.

Rain hammers against the windows and lightning cackles in the air.

A troupe of men with faces that seek the shadows meet in a corner booth away from the gazes of the other inn patrons.

They speak in cautious whispers that they wish no other ears to intrude upon: Continue Reading


Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Iowa State Fair Exhibits True Nature Of Politics by Having Presidential Candidates Penned up.

Iowa State Fair Exhibits True Nature Of Politics by Having Presidential Candidates Penned up.

This year’s crop of Presidential weeds….. er… candidates made their appearance this week at the traditional show case starting gate for the quad yearly election- the Iowa State Fair. This time in a stock pen.

All the hopefuls vying for the so-called honor of being chosen the Commander in Chief of the entire United States were herded into a fenced off pen in one of the livestock barns and put on display. Continue Reading


Posted in Politics0 Comments

9/12/2001- The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 11

9/12/2001- The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 11

Part 11

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

McGurty announced himself to Cheney’s secretary through the intercom. He was immediately entered in, an entitlement usually reserved only for high ranking political and military officials and oilmen.

“So, what have you got for me? “ Cheney asked his slightly timid assistant.
“We can get Rumsfeld in, sir. Bolton would be a much tougher goal.”
“Good, good!’ said Cheney pleasedly. “Let’s get the ball rolling on that then.”
“Is Mr. Rumsfeld aware of the situation, sir?”
“No, but he will be very shortly, McGurty. I wanted to make sure it was feasible first. Thanks for working on that.”
“My pleasure, sir!”
He exited.

It was a meeting with the real big boys that ran things. The head honchos. The Man in plurality.

Still they all sat patiently in their lavishly comfortable chairs wearing suits just like so many other men across the world, only far better crafted. They are expectant, but unsure. Cheney was animated, excited. His eyes glowed with an intensity radiating from them.

“Gentlemen, as you can probably already imagine, we have made a decision for war. We are going after those who are responsible for the 911 tragedy.”
Bravos sounded around the table.

“This is grim news for us as a nation, but we should also rejoice for we at last are seeking blood from those who dealt us the deal.” Enthusiastic hand claps erupted.

“It is been a cloud hanging over us for a long time, now, but now we have the chance to experience its good potential. The promise of a silver lining holds especially true for we gentlemen in this room.” He unveils a map of the Mideast on the easel board set up before them. “We have already begun our buildup for a campaign against our hidden enemies. Our researchers in the CIA and FBI have led us to the lair of our cowardly foes. And that lair is in…” he points to the map with his pointer, “Iraq.” He points to the nation which is suddenly highlighted on the map and grows in proportion to be dominant. “This is our enemy. It is believed that Osama bin Laden is hiding out in its midst, probably in a remote desert area. In two days from now we will be hitting them with everything we got. They will experience a shock and awe that they will never forget.”

“Iraq? Aren’t they finding that the Arabs flying the planes into New York were Saudi’s?”

“Yes, indeed. But who was their motivator? Bin Laden. And where is he?’ He points to the map.

“We have to make sure we go after the cats and not the kittens. We will hit Iraq so hard they will be whirling like dervishes for weeks.”

Cheney paused a moment, then added with an expressible smirk upon his face, “And that is where the silver lining is. Gentlemen, the benefit of raining fire back upon our enemies is that once they are vanquished along with that despot who runs the place, we will have control over the world’s third largest oil producing country.”

A few oohs issued out. Others gloated upon an inner knowledge of it that they had already surmised.

The man from Shell Oil spoke up. “Who would be the beneficiaries of this situation?”

“Oh, we would! To the victors go the spoils. And those spoils would be around two million barrels of oil a day. And who is the ‘we’? Those of us who hold the reins!”

A couple wolf’s whistles sounded from around the room. “Are you sure these Iraqis ragheads aren’t going to hold on to them?”

Cheney’s expression got darker and more suggestive. “We will make sure they won’t!” the smirk appearing upon the corner of his mouth again. “We can’t have a bunch of Medieval beggars getting in the way of our profits!”

There was a pause at this, then a healthy round of ‘Bravos!’ and false ‘Hurrahs” resounded around the room accompanied by a tinny form of applause.

Pleased with the response to his speech, Cheney went into a back room and sat heavily down upon a chair. He covered his eyes with a towel and leaned back.

His aide McGurty entered the room, easing the door behind him.

“It sounds like you impressed them, sir.”

“Yes, that I believe I did.” stated Cheney from beneath the towel.
“It sounds like they are with you on it.”
“I certainly hope so.”
“So the next step is war?”
“Yes it is.”
“So we have any alternatives?”

Cheney whipped the towel off his face and sat bolt upright, pointing a finger at McGurty.

“No, Mr. McGurty, here is the way it is now. These religious nuts in the Mideast have proved that they can now get to us if they want to. And believe me, they want to. They have finally wised up to the fact that although we’ll let them have as much money as they need have to run their puppet kingdoms and get so much rich food and golden crap as they want, but we won’t let them have the reins to the whole deal. Even when they nationalized the oil companies, they were still dependent on our engineers to run the show. And on us to buy the stuff and to run the companies that pulled it out of the ground. Now they want the whole schmeil. They are not going to get it. We have the chance now to get a permanent slice of the oil pie. We get rid of this ape Hussein and Iraq will be ours. That will alone cover 60% of our energy needs. We will no longer have to go begging to every Mideastern despot who makes it to the top of the pile when we need our oil.”

“Once we have Iraq under our control, we can fortify it and make it our base in the Mideast. We will no longer have to rely on Israel being our eye over there. From a strong base in Iraq we can launch an offensive against any problem anywhere from Somalia to the Crimean to Kazakhstan to Bangladesh. We won’t have any more incidents like Iran taking over our embassy and holding hostages that happened under weak-kneed liberal leadership.”

“I don’t think the Iraqis will take lightly to us taking over their country. A poor and backwards as they may be, they are a proud and fierce people.”

Cheney, again sporting that evil smirk that come so much more frequently to his face now that he was President, leaned into the man and stared directly into his face. “Mr., if we can’t make this bunch of modern day nomads eat their own sand then we need to take our entire military and sell it to the Chinese. Were it not for all the UN bans on using nuclear weapons we could have them on their knees in two days.”

McGurty winced at this. “You mean you would seriously use a nuclear weapon?”

Cheney grimaced something that remotely resembled a smile. “Oh, you bet I would. If it would clean up this mess and get those Arabs back in line, then you bet I would.”

McGurty shivered at the man’s coldness. As he left he was relieved when the Presidents door fell shut behind him cutting him off from that other world that seemed embraced by darkness.

– – – – – – – – – –

The complete book of 9/12/2001 is available from lulu.com under that exact title for $9.00 plus shipping.


Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics0 Comments

Hey Kids! Make Your Own ‘Trump for President ‘ Bumper Stickers!

Hey Kids! Make Your Own ‘Trump for President ‘ Bumper Stickers!

Hey Kids! Have Some Fun Cutting Out These ‘Trump For President’ Bumper Stickers!!!

Here is what you need for a little summer fun! Just print off these patriotic bumper stickers, snitch a pair of scissors and some glue from your mom when she isn’t looking and have a blast pasting them all over cars in your neighborhood!

What better way to spend a summer day!

What better way to experience juvenile detention at an early age!

Think of all the no-fun you’ll have!



THE 1%!
VOTE TRUMP!!!!!!!!!

WITH A BANG!!!!!!!


Keep the political satirists and cartoonists
employed for the next four years!





Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 10

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 10

Part 10

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The Secret Service men fell in behind Cheney as he left. They had their new instructions. No one was to approach him as he left unless they were already on a data bank of his allies. Anyone else might as well be considered an enemy.

The lavishness of the executive lounge was lost on Cheney at the moment. He was so deep in thought that the world outside himself did not exist. There are things one becomes aware of when one is President that cannot help but disturb. There is a reason that most Presidents age greatly during their term of office. Anyone would.

He knew he was going to be in a more difficult position when he made the transition from VP to the top job. But these things always manifest in ways that you cannot foresee. He knew he was a tough man, but there are things that could happen in anyone’s life, and especially that of the head officer of a country, that could break one no matter how strong he was. But he was locked into it now for better or for worse. He could abdicate, give it up. It hadn’t been done before in the U.S., but he was sure he could. But it wouldn’t look good. It would look like he was weak, like he was giving up. His ego couldn’t tolerate that. He would stick it out.

It was a foul thing Bush had done to him by dying. He had had himself set up so fine, in the back of the puppet theater pulling the strings. Now he was the man in front and people were trying to pull his strings. Constantly. He wouldn’t stand for it. He didn’t go through the years of being someone else’s toady to end up being a patsy for everyone else to get better off using him.

He would stick it out for the duration of the term of office. Maybe, if things changed radically for the better, if they could quickly get Iraq screwed down and under their thumb, he would go for a second term. He, with Rove’s help, might even be able to convince the people that he was the right man for the job. Who knows. He now was getting a first hand look at how easily manipulated they were. If nothing else, he would finish out Bush’s term wealthier than ever. By a long shot.

The intercom buzzed. “Yes, Gilda, what is it? …..OK, please send him in.”

The bulk of John Penegrin came through the frame of the door that Gilda opened. His main Halliburton associate, Penegrin had been his buddy since the days when Cheney was their CEO and Penegrin his aide. Now their roles had changed. There was still a camaraderie between them, but Penegrine would not let friendship come in the way of profits either for him or for Halliburton. He was glad to have Cheney in the powerful position that he had, but he would not let the man too far out on a a leash. Cheney was a self willed man, one who could turn against you if you crossed him in any way.

Penegrin could see that Cheney was sweating bullets. One of the marks of getting high up in the oil business is quickly recognizing other peoples weaknesses. And exploiting them. But in Cheney’s case it was a tool to get through to him.

“You don’t seem to be a happy camper, Dick.”

Cheney stopped his pacing and looked at Penegrin. Penegrin could see that he was looking through veils of pain and thought. “This whole 911 mess is wearing me down. I didn’t sign up for this.”

Penegrin put his palms out in a widespread manner. “But it is over, Dick. They hit us and we got the shit knocked out of us.”

Cheney whirled, a scared, viscous look seared his face. “It isn’t over! It is only just begun! Don’t think for a minute that 911 was the end of things!”

Tough as he was, he still inwardly cringed at the ferocity of the man’s fear. “What do you mean?” was the only thing he could think of to say.

Cheney inched closer, a rigid finger pointed at Penegrin’s face. “This is what we must never forget! These Muslim thugs are out to get US! You and me and all the rest of the big boys! They’re not just shooting up our Marines or some diplomatic secretary in Timbuktu. They are after us, the ones who really run the show. And they almost got us with airplanes! Our own airplanes! Who could have guarded against that? Who could have foreseen that? Now we’ve got to be on our toes. Our regular line of defenses won’t keep them out. They are like rats that can crawl in your heating system and bite your neck while you sleep. They can get in your clothes and infect you when you put them on. They hate our guts and would love to see them spilled.”

Penegrin had never seen the man so disturbed. Normally he was the model of iconic cool. The job must have cracked a fissure in him. He needed to do a quick patch job. Cheney wouldn’t fall apart on him, but he didn’t want to have him feel left alone.

He put on his best earnest face. “Don’t worry Dick. These Mullahs ain’t gonna get us. You underestimate our boys. They are all hyped up now from all the gung-ho attitudes that came racing out of the closet after 911. Everyone wants to be Captain America now. Everyone wants a piece of these rag-heads. Even the women.”

“No one knows how to deal with this. It is a whole new ball game. They managed to spike the ball into our court. Not one ball but four. And they hurt. Now everyone is scared. Everyone is wondering where the next one is coming from. How do you deal with that?”

Pelegrin smiled in spite of himself. He walked up and put a hand on Cheney’s shoulder. “How, you ask? By harnessing it!”.

Cheney was giving him one of his ‘what is this’ expressions.

Penegrine pulled his hands back in a wide expression. “If people are afraid, they become like sheep. Sheep want someone to control them, to make them feel safe. Be the shepherd. You will have them in your hands.” He smiled an oily smile. “We need to have people under our control. It is good for business. If they are willing to be pets to you, use that. We need all the power we can get.”

“Yeah, I’m having to learn a lot of new talents here. Its not like I can just yell and everyone will jump in line some times.” His mind wanders for a bit. “Sometimes I actually get zealous of these dictators like Putin or Saddam or these jerk asses in Myanmar. They just give an order and it gets obeyed. They make a law and it is done. No fussing about. No debates, no questions. Just action. It gets done. Beautiful. Too bad we can’t have more of that in this country. We’d get a lot more done.”

“Indeed. Democracies aren’t all they are cracked up to be. Look at Putin. A guy there builds a petroleum industry and becomes the richest man in Russia. He stands up to Putin, Putin gets pissed and has him thrown in prison. Putin makes the oil industry governmental and thereby becomes the one running it. Makes him an instant billionaire. Just think what you could do with that much power!”

The irony of the statement made Cheney laugh spontaneously, as hard and genuine as Perengin had ever heard him. “Yeah, just imagine!” He laughed more. “Maybe that is the way to do things. Nobody talks back to Putin, do they?”

They both laughed long and hard.

Penegrin sobered first, waiting for Cheney to do the same. He waited the few seconds necessary before he said what he wanted to since before he came in.

“Dick,” He spoke more softly and directly, “there is a way to remedy this for all of us.”

Cheney eyed him with the same directness, already knowing what he was going to say.

The one word Penegrin uttered said it all- “Iraq.”


Posted in Serious Commentary0 Comments

The News (Really) Bytes – July 2015

The News (Really) Bytes – July 2015

Buddhists show their deep belief in the teachings of their saint- Buddha- by murdering and repressing the ethnic Muslims in Myanmar.

Turkey, coming to the aid of the U.S. and other nations battling Isis in the Middle-east decide to drop a few bombs on the Kurds in their own country as well.

The Kurds have proven to be the best fighters against Isis, but the Turkish government is leery of their success. The Turkish explain “Ah, we just had a few bombs left over and didn’t want to waste them.” Continue Reading


Posted in Biz News, Politics0 Comments

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

Realizing statistically that whenever there is a gun related mass murder by a mentally ill individual or group that gun sales go up out of fear that they will be outlawed.

Because of this gun manufacturers have started pushing the NRA to get more guns into the hands of as many psychopaths as possible.

A secret email has been acquired by a hacker and turned over to Washington newspapers who in turn exposed it to the reading public. Continue Reading


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Berke Breathed Breathes Life Again Into Bloom County

Berke Breathed Breathes Life Again Into Bloom County

Berke Breathed, beloved cartoonist of the once greatly beloved cartoon Bloom County, has returned from the dead……


Wait a moment……he wasn’t actually dead……..

He only stopped making his cartoon for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!!

Bloom County, once one of the most syndicated cartoons in the US back in the 1980’s, will be soon be showing its multicolored face in the funny papers again.

Wildly amusing and wildly drawn the series followed the equally wild adventures of Milo Bloom, a lost penguin named Opus and his side kick Bill the Cat.

Bill the Cat……..

If there ever was a unique cartoon character to illuminate the Sunday paper it was Bill the Cat. Combine the worst elements of every American cartoon cat there has ever been going all the way back to Krazy Kat when newspapers were born and you would produce Bill the Cat. And, yes, that includes and surpasses Garfield.

Both Otis and Bill the Cat became icons of the 1980’s. Otis’s homely and lovelorn images graced many a number of plush and plastic toys, his protuberance jutting outward into prominence (I’M TALKING ABOUT HIS NOSE!!!!!!!!). Bill the Cat brought such manginess to the Sunday funnies that you were afraid to touch the paper for fear of getting ringworm.

One wonders why Breathed would return to his long forgotten cartoon after so many decades.

He says he was inspired by Donald Trump’s running for President.

????????????????????????????????(very pregnant pause)???????????????????????????????


Well, it’s nice to know that something good came out of Trump’s announcement of his running, other than it messing up the Republican platform real good. Not that they don’t deserve him.

I can very much imagine the humorous potential the great orange haired one can inspire in an artist. Like Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead Breathed has risen Bloom County back from the deceased.

One has to wonder what Breathed has been up to the past 25 years.
Rumors abound:

One has it that he ran off with Brooke Shields to a desert island and had twenty five years of endless sex in paradise. Or that could have just been the plot of a movie I saw once.

Another said that he had joined a cult that lived underground in bunkers with elaborate tunnels going in all directions in preparation for any number of possible holocaustic disasters. He only quit when he found out the latest tunnel he was digging was to free Pablo Guzman.

Yet another said he joined the circus and performed as a lion taming clown trapeze artist, but gave it up because it never had the satisfying wildness that his cartoons had.

Then there is the rumor that he locked himself inside his one bedroom apartment watching endless reruns of Seinfeld, Bugs Bunny, the Twilight Zone and Ice Station Zebra while eating a steady diet of cheese puffs until he went quietly mad and realized that his only back to sanity was through his artistry.

Take your pick.

Either way, Trump barging full force upon the political scene threw some switches in his soul and brought him back to reality and to modern American civilization. Let’s just hope the 25 years of being lost will not be too much of a shock to him. We all use cell phones now Berke and Captain Kangaroo is no longer on TV.

So, welcome back Berke! Nice to see you again! Be sure to bring Bill the Cat and Opus along with you!


Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Donald Trump’s War Record

Donald Trump’s War Record

After Donald Trump’s scathing attack on Senator John McCain’s war record the Investigation’s Department here at Glossy News did a little digging into Trump’s own military record.

It turns out that the great Donald also has a legacy of war experience.

Here is what we have uncovered:

As a young child Donald Trump on 10 separate occasions was involved in fierce snowball fights, one even causing injury to his right leg as he was hit by a devious ice-ball. Continue Reading


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