Are all Americans Guilty of Hate Crimes against President Trump?

Dateline: D.C.— Under federal hate crime laws, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has targeted both critics and supporters of President Trump, for “abusing a mentally incompetent old man,” according to a spokesperson for Mr. Mueller’s office.

“If you saw a physically disabled person and instead of helping her out, you berated her ruthlessly or else lured into making a fool of herself, you could easily foul afoul of hate speech laws,” said the spokesperson.

These laws are designed to prevent crimes committed on the basis of a person’s protected characteristics such as her race, religion or gender—but also her disability. Read more Are all Americans Guilty of Hate Crimes against President Trump?

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Fools’ God: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler

[The homeless old man, Rashad the Cackler is back with another rant. Enjoy as he spills his guts to passersby on a big city, American street corner.]

Laugh at the homeless wreck of a man who stands before you! Wrinkle your nose in disgust at the rags I wear, coated as they are in weeks-old urine, vomit and body odour. Mock me for my failure to lie for a living in your warped rat race. Here I am with no family to weigh me down or bind me to your monstrous society. Look at me and see the outsider, the scapegoat hurled into the wilderness who survives the void and returns to you with unpleasant news.
Read more Fools’ God: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler

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Power and the Abuse of Language: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler

[The homeless old man, Rashad the Cackler is back with another rant. Enjoy as he spills his guts to passersby on a big city street corner.]

***
We’ve got these democratic, capitalistic societies we’re so proud of. That’s how we “progress,” right? By voting and making money and buying stuff we don’t need.

I’ve been trying to figure out, though, why politicians and pundits make a fetish out of the word “appropriate.” I saw it once on CNN: it was a typical American political negotiation. President Trump had dragged a Democratic senator’s wife into the Oval Office and ordered his henchmen to gang rape her right in front of the senator and his children. They went to town on her, because it was televised so they had to make it a spectacle. I saw a Taser and a cat o’ nine tails and a flaming trident. A donkey got in on the action, and in the end they cut her up into ribbons and vacuumed her remains off the carpet.
Read more Power and the Abuse of Language: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler

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Trump Voters Smarter than Liberals, study shows

Dateline: D.C.—The Machiavelli Institute of Political Pseudoscience shocked the world when it revealed the results of its study that compared the intelligence level of President Trump’s diehard supporters to that of his critics on the left and the right, including “the Resistance” and “Never Trumpers.”
Read more Trump Voters Smarter than Liberals, study shows

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Coca-Cola: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler


[Rashad, also known as the Cackler, is an old homeless man who has wandered North America for decades and is notorious for his stream of diatribes on a wide range of subjects.]
*****
Where to begin when the folly and madness are everywhere?

The other day I saw this Coke commercial. Ever notice how on TV they’re always drinking Coke out of glass bottles, never out of cheap-looking plastic ones or tin cans—which are the only ones you can find in the real world? When was the last time you saw a glass Coca Cola bottle outside of a commercial? They get those glass bottles from the 1950s with a time machine, from when doctors told kids that smoking cigarettes makes you as healthy as Hercules. Back then the saintly medical doctor advised mothers, “When you pack your kid’s lunch, don’t forget to add the box of smokes right between the apple and the ham sandwich.”
Read more Coca-Cola: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler

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Researchers Discover why Republicans are Evil and Democrats are Cowards

Dateline: MIT—With the election of Donald Trump as president, Republicans have chosen to wear their evil on their sleeves, although the GOP’s social Darwinism, warmongering and shameless, hypocritical idolatry have been palpable since Ronald Reagan created his bizarre coalition of libertarians and evangelical Christians.
Read more Researchers Discover why Republicans are Evil and Democrats are Cowards

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G7 Leaders Remind President Trump How American Economic Imperialism Works

Dateline: CHARLEVOIX, QUEBEC—President Trump’s imposing of tariffs against America’s allies, Canada, Mexico, and the EU, has put these allies in the awkward position of having to remind Mr. Trump that the international system of economic regulations was put in place by America to establish that country as the global hegemon.
Read more G7 Leaders Remind President Trump How American Economic Imperialism Works

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CNN Replaces Serious Commentary on Trump’s Presidency, with Constant Laughter

Dateline: ATLANTA—CNN has dramatically altered its strategy in covering the Donald Trump White House, having first milked Mr. Trump’s scandals for ratings in the 2016 campaign and then attempted to provide serious, fact-based analysis of the first two years of his presidency. Read more CNN Replaces Serious Commentary on Trump’s Presidency, with Constant Laughter

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Computer Program Translates Ordinary English into Shakespearean Verse

Dateline: CAMBRIDGE, MA—A team of computer programmers at MIT, led by Wallace Thickglasses, has completed its Shakespearean Translator, which converts plain English into Shakespearean verse. The translator has received rave reviews from Shakespeare scholars.
Read more Computer Program Translates Ordinary English into Shakespearean Verse

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President Trump’s Audacity Awarded Democrats Political Immunity for Two Centuries, said Political Pseudoscientist

Dateline: LICK SKILLET, TN—Democrats should be grateful for Donald Trump’s presidency, because his smorgasbord of scandals and villainies could theoretically enable them to get away with murder for centuries to come, according to Professor Marco Snodgrass, political pseudoscientist as the Machiavellian Institute, in Tennessee.
Read more President Trump’s Audacity Awarded Democrats Political Immunity for Two Centuries, said Political Pseudoscientist

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American Parents Love Guns More than Their Children, Study Shows

Dateline: KALAMAZOO—In the wake of the school shooting in Florida, in which a young male killed 17 of his former fellow students, a team of researchers at the Technocracy Institute in Michigan explains the impossibility of sensible gun regulation in the United States… Read more American Parents Love Guns More than Their Children, Study Shows

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