Posted in Top Stories

Kleptocrat Playsets (Batteries not Included)

Dateline: NYC—Researchers have solved the mystery of how Donald Trump and Boris Johnson could have simultaneously come to exist. “The clownish incompetence, the superhuman feats of narcissism, the shameless, pathological lying—Mr. Trump and Mr. Johnson share these traits as populist…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Kleptocrat Playsets (Batteries not Included)
Posted in Politics

Democrat employs Strange Tactic in Defeating President Trump

Dateline: WASHINGTON, DC, year 2020—The Democratic nominee has won the presidency, beating Donald Trump in a landslide, and has also had bizarre good luck, by employing an unusual political tactic. “I decided to go against my handlers and pollsters,” said…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Democrat employs Strange Tactic in Defeating President Trump
Posted in Politics

Robert Mueller: The Knight-Errant who Tripped over his Lance

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Robert Mueller stunned the quarter of Americans who are intent on keeping their country from sliding down the tubes, by turning in a lackluster performance in his televised hearings before Congress. Knowing that most Americans prefer to watch…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Robert Mueller: The Knight-Errant who Tripped over his Lance
Posted in Politics

Mueller and Trump: Partners in Crime

CONGRESSMAN GIRLYMAN: Mr. Mueller, thank you for appearing before this congressional committee. We gather from William Barr’s summary of your report that you didn’t find sufficient evidence to prove at trial that President Trump had obstructed justice or that he…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mueller and Trump: Partners in Crime
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Are all Americans Guilty of Hate Crimes against President Trump?

Dateline: D.C.— Under federal hate crime laws, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has targeted both critics and supporters of President Trump, for “abusing a mentally incompetent old man,” according to a spokesperson for Mr. Mueller’s office. “If you saw a physically…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Are all Americans Guilty of Hate Crimes against President Trump?
Posted in Religionism

Fools’ God: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler

[The homeless old man, Rashad the Cackler is back with another rant. Enjoy as he spills his guts to passersby on a big city, American street corner.] Laugh at the homeless wreck of a man who stands before you! Wrinkle…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Fools’ God: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler
Posted in Politics Serious Commentary

Power and the Abuse of Language: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler

[The homeless old man, Rashad the Cackler is back with another rant. Enjoy as he spills his guts to passersby on a big city street corner.] *** We’ve got these democratic, capitalistic societies we’re so proud of. That’s how we…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Power and the Abuse of Language: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler
Posted in Politics

Trump Voters Smarter than Liberals, study shows

Dateline: D.C.—The Machiavelli Institute of Political Pseudoscience shocked the world when it revealed the results of its study that compared the intelligence level of President Trump’s diehard supporters to that of his critics on the left and the right, including…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump Voters Smarter than Liberals, study shows
Posted in Health

Coca-Cola: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler

[Rashad, also known as the Cackler, is an old homeless man who has wandered North America for decades and is notorious for his stream of diatribes on a wide range of subjects.] ***** Where to begin when the folly and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Coca-Cola: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler
Posted in Politics

Researchers Discover why Republicans are Evil and Democrats are Cowards

Dateline: MIT—With the election of Donald Trump as president, Republicans have chosen to wear their evil on their sleeves, although the GOP’s social Darwinism, warmongering and shameless, hypocritical idolatry have been palpable since Ronald Reagan created his bizarre coalition of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Researchers Discover why Republicans are Evil and Democrats are Cowards
Posted in Politics

G7 Leaders Remind President Trump How American Economic Imperialism Works

Dateline: CHARLEVOIX, QUEBEC—President Trump’s imposing of tariffs against America’s allies, Canada, Mexico, and the EU, has put these allies in the awkward position of having to remind Mr. Trump that the international system of economic regulations was put in place…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! G7 Leaders Remind President Trump How American Economic Imperialism Works
Posted in Making Headlines Television

God Condemns Conservative Bullies for Opining on Comedy

Dateline: D.C.—Conservatives condemned Michelle Wolf’s comedic speech at the 2018 White House Press correspondents’ dinner, until God reminded them they have no sense of humour because they’re bullies.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! God Condemns Conservative Bullies for Opining on Comedy
Posted in Politics

CNN Replaces Serious Commentary on Trump’s Presidency, with Constant Laughter

Dateline: ATLANTA—CNN has dramatically altered its strategy in covering the Donald Trump White House, having first milked Mr. Trump’s scandals for ratings in the 2016 campaign and then attempted to provide serious, fact-based analysis of the first two years of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CNN Replaces Serious Commentary on Trump’s Presidency, with Constant Laughter
Posted in Human Interest Technology

Last Remaining Author Paid by Parakeet

Dateline: Cubicle District 64, Year 2028—Mystifying tens of millions of authors, Horatio Masterson is the only remaining writer who is still somehow being paid for his work, and in this exclusive report, we reveal the secret of his success.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Last Remaining Author Paid by Parakeet
Posted in Entertainment Politics

Open Letter to President Trump, From the Entertainment Industry

With all due respect to the outcome of the 2016 presidential campaign, to those who voted for Donald Trump, and to the policies and performance of the Trump administration…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Open Letter to President Trump, From the Entertainment Industry
Posted in Human Interest

Computer Program Translates Ordinary English into Shakespearean Verse

Dateline: CAMBRIDGE, MA—A team of computer programmers at MIT, led by Wallace Thickglasses, has completed its Shakespearean Translator, which converts plain English into Shakespearean verse. The translator has received rave reviews from Shakespeare scholars.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Computer Program Translates Ordinary English into Shakespearean Verse
Posted in Politics

President Trump’s Audacity Awarded Democrats Political Immunity for Two Centuries, said Political Pseudoscientist

Dateline: LICK SKILLET, TN—Democrats should be grateful for Donald Trump’s presidency, because his smorgasbord of scandals and villainies could theoretically enable them to get away with murder for centuries to come, according to Professor Marco Snodgrass, political pseudoscientist as the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! President Trump’s Audacity Awarded Democrats Political Immunity for Two Centuries, said Political Pseudoscientist
Posted in Serious Commentary

Will Trump’s Presidency be Worse than 9/11?

This is a short movie I made about whether Trump’s presidency will end up being more traumatic for Americans than was 9/11. It’s meant as serious commentary, but the video includes what I hope are some amusing moments.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Will Trump’s Presidency be Worse than 9/11?
Posted in Crime Science

American Parents Love Guns More than Their Children, Study Shows

Dateline: KALAMAZOO—In the wake of the school shooting in Florida, in which a young male killed 17 of his former fellow students, a team of researchers at the Technocracy Institute in Michigan explains the impossibility of sensible gun regulation in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! American Parents Love Guns More than Their Children, Study Shows
Posted in Human Interest

Life Coach Recommends Obsessive, Idiosyncratic Behaviour to Earn Immortality by Word Coinage

Dateline: TORONTO—Melvin Meister’s Labour of Fame Organization, founded in 1973, has been vindicated over forty years later, as the Oxford English Dictionary added the word “smeelian” to its account of the English language, in recognition of the life’s work of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Life Coach Recommends Obsessive, Idiosyncratic Behaviour to Earn Immortality by Word Coinage
Posted in Religionism

Donald Trump, the Antichrist, is “Close Enough to Christ,” said Evangelical Leader

Dateline: LICKSKILLET, KY—Evangelical Christians are supporting President Donald Trump, because “he’s probably the Antichrist and that’s close enough,” according to evangelical leader Leon Birdbrain.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Donald Trump, the Antichrist, is “Close Enough to Christ,” said Evangelical Leader
Posted in Talky Pictures

Disney Studios Rooting for the Empire in Future Star Wars Films, says Hollywood insider

Dateline: BURBANK—Disney Studios is rooting for the Empire to defeat the rebels in its upcoming Star Wars films, according to Hollywood insider Wily Hangeron. (Be warned that spoilers for The Last Jedi follow.)

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Disney Studios Rooting for the Empire in Future Star Wars Films, says Hollywood insider
Posted in Health

Doctors are Heroic for facing Blood and Guts without Puking, says Surgeon

Dateline: WHYNOT, NC—Surgeons are responding to the criticism that they’re vain and overpaid, by asking the critics to imagine what it’s like being elbow-deep in blood and guts.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Doctors are Heroic for facing Blood and Guts without Puking, says Surgeon
Posted in Making Headlines Society

Woman sues Women Studies Feminists for preventing her from Sleeping her way to the Top

Dateline: NY CITY—Miss Marylou Ditsy is suing Women Studies departments in colleges across the United States, for creating an atmosphere of political correctness that she alleges has prevented her from sleeping her way to the top.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Woman sues Women Studies Feminists for preventing her from Sleeping her way to the Top
Posted in Talky Pictures

Hollywood’s Schlocky Movies are Payback for China’s Shoddy Merchandise, says Industry Insider

Dateline: HOLLYWOOD—The American movie industry has been releasing the simplest, dumbest possible movies for overseas markets, especially in China, to pay back the Chinese for flooding the American market with shoddy merchandise, according to Hollywood insider, Wily Hangeron.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hollywood’s Schlocky Movies are Payback for China’s Shoddy Merchandise, says Industry Insider
Posted in Talky Pictures

Hollywood Reboots itself, Giving Creative Class over Movie Executives and Producers

Dateline: HOLLYWOOD—After having rebooted all of its hit movies from past decades, Hollywood has finally gotten around to rebooting itself. The schedule for the reboots consists of a long actual list for of movies to be remade for foreign and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hollywood Reboots itself, Giving Creative Class over Movie Executives and Producers
Posted in Society

Sexual Battle Lines drawn between Toxically Masculine Trolls & Devious Lesbian Feminists, Argues Social Scientist

Dateline: WHYNOT, NC—Hermann Gunzenhauser, a social scientist at True Dat University, has published a paper extrapolating the long-term effects of the proliferating allegations of sexual harassment and molestation in the entertainment industry and in government, business, and all other social…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sexual Battle Lines drawn between Toxically Masculine Trolls & Devious Lesbian Feminists, Argues Social Scientist
Posted in Politics

Mainstream News Anchor Proves he Understands Trump’s Presidency by Repeatedly Punching Himself in Face

Dateline: ATLANTA—A newly hired news anchor at CNN, Guy Hoogetsit, has criticized his colleagues at the cable news station for failing to understand the point of Donald Trump’s election, and maintains that the only way for members of the corporate…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mainstream News Anchor Proves he Understands Trump’s Presidency by Repeatedly Punching Himself in Face
Posted in Technology

Deaf Inventor of Leaf Blower Unveils new Noisy Devices

Dateline: PITTSBURGH—Manny Hornblower, the deaf inventor of the leaf blower, has unveiled a series of new inventions, including the gas-powered page-turner, the motorized tea bag dipper, and the jet-fuelled food-chewing aid. The gas-powered leaf blower is popular with landscaping companies…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Deaf Inventor of Leaf Blower Unveils new Noisy Devices
Posted in Politics

News Channel Treats Politics as Theater

Dateline: NY CITY—Under the auspices of Europe’s Postmodern Media Group, American entrepreneur Roy Havalaff is launching a cable political news channel that will assume no politician is capable of honesty.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! News Channel Treats Politics as Theater