Terms of Use

Satire Disclaimer

Glossy News is a satirical news publication. All articles contained within, however near to actual stories appearing in the news, should be assumed to be of a fictitious and satirical nature. Except in the case of public figures, any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

Terms of Service

Use of this website is subject to the following terms and conditions. By using the services on this website you agree that you have read, understood and agreed to these terms and conditions.

This site is for entertainment purposes only. All characters and events reported on this site are fictitious, other than the names of public figures being satirized.

In no event will we be liable for any loss or damage including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss or damage, or any loss or damage whatsoever arising from loss of data or profits arising out of or in connection with the use of this website.

These terms of service are a binding legal agreement between you and Glossy News regarding the use of this site, and any products or services available from the website. Please read these Terms of Service carefully, as they are binding. By viewing our website, you aknowledge your agreement to (1) these Terms of Service, and (2) the the Community Guidelines incorporated below. If you do not agree to any of these terms or the Community Guidelines, you may not use Glossy News.

Glossy News, in its sole discretion, may modify or revise these Terms of Service and policies at any time, and you agree to be bound by such modifications or revisions. Nothing in this Agreement shall be deemed to confer any third-party rights or benefits.

These Terms of Service apply to all users of the Website, including users who are also contributors of articles, photographs, headlines, information, and other materials or services on the Website.

The Website may contain links to third party websites that are not owned or controlled by Glossy News. We have no control over, and assume no responsibility for their content, privacy policies, or practices. Glossy News will not and cannot censor or edit the content of any third-party site. By using the Website, you expressly relieve Glossy News from any and all liability arising from your use of any third-party website.

Glossy News grants you revocable, non-transferable, and non-exclusive permission to access and use the Websites as set forth in these Terms of Service under the following conditions:
A. You agree not to distribute in any medium any part of the Website, including but not limited to Content and User Submissions (each as defined below), without prior written consent.

– You agree not to access User Submissions (defined below) or Content through any technology or means other than any explicitly authorized means designated by Glossy News.

– You agree not to use the Websites for any commercial purpose without written authorization.

– You agree not to impersonate any person or organization.

Glossy News reserves the right to discontinue any aspect of the Website at any time without notice.

User Submitted

Since the overwhelming majority of our content is user-submitted, in photo, article, and other forms, we do not have the capacity to audit submissions prior to publication. If submitted content is found to be copyright infringing, we will promptly address complaints pursuant to the copyright terms above. We strongly advise our contributors to take their writing seriously by reading up on copyright, so they can be aware of their legal and moral responsibilities.

Privacy Policy

The following privacy notice applies to Glossy News (www.glossynews.com).

We may ask for personal information to establish a user account, including your e-mail address and limited contact information, for site participation.

We may record usage information about your browsing habits, such as when you use the Websites, the pages, departments, groups, or favorites you subscribe to, the contacts you communicate with, and the frequency and size of data transfers, as well as information you display or click on in the Websites (including UI elements, settings, and other information). We may use tracking mechanisms to track which email and forwarding stats as well.

When you choose to submit personally identifiable information, we may use your personal information to operate, maintain, and provide to you the features and functionality of the Website, as well as provide special personalized features to you.

Certain information may be displayed to other Users when you upload stories, comments, pictures, send messages, or other content through the site and other Users can contact you through messages and comments. Any pictures that you submit to the Websites may be redistributed through the Internet and other media channels, and may be viewed by the general public without limitation.

We will never use your email address or other personally identifiable information to send commercial or marketing messages without your consent or except as part of a specific program or feature for which you will have the ability to opt-in or opt-out. We may, however, use your email address without further consent for non-marketing or administrative purposes (such as for customer service purposes).

We use both your personally identifiable information and certain non-personally-identifiable information (such as anonymous User usage data, cookies, IP addresses, browser type, clickstream data, etc.) to improve the quality and design of the Websites and to create new features, promotions, functionality, and services by storing, tracking, and analyzing User preferences and trends.

We employ the use of cookies, clear gifs, and log file information to store information so that you will not have to re-enter it during your visit or the next time you visit the Websites, provide custom, personalized content and information, monitor the effectiveness of our marketing campaigns, monitor aggregate metrics such as total number of visitors, pages viewed, etc., and track your entries, submissions, and status in promotions and contests.


If you are a copyright holder or registered assignee thereof and believe that a User Submission or other content on Glossy News infringes upon your copyrights, you may submit a notification pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (“DMCA”)“DMCA” by providing our Copyright Agent with the following information in writing (see 17 U.S.C 512(c)(3) for further detail):

1. A physical or electronic signature of a person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed;
2. Identification of the copyrighted work claimed to have been infringed, or, if multiple copyrighted works at a single online site are covered by a single notification, a representative list of such works at that site;
3. Identification of the material that is claimed to be infringing or to be the subject of infringing activity and that is to be removed or access to which is to be disabled and information reasonably sufficient to permit the service provider to locate the material;
4. Information reasonably sufficient to permit the service provider to contact you, such as an address, telephone number, and, if available, an electronic mail;
5. A statement that you have a good faith belief that use of the material in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; and
6. A statement that the information in the notification is accurate, and under penalty of perjury, that you are authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.

You may send infringement notices to:
Attention: Brian White
c/o Glossy Colossal Marketing
4233 S. 182nd St
Seatac, WA 98188

You acknowledge that if you fail to comply with all of the requirements of this Section 8(A) your DMCA notice may not be valid. Compliance with ALL of the above requirements will expedite your complaint and the path towards resolution.

Counter-Notice. If you feel that your User Submission that was censored or removed due to copyright complaint (in whole or in part), but that it is not infringing, or that you have the authorization from the copyright owner, the copyright owner’s agent, or pursuant to fair use or other laws, to post and use the content in your User Submission, you may send a counter-notice containing the following information to the Copyright Agent:

1. Your physical or electronic signature;
2. Identification of the content that has been removed or to which access has been disabled and the location at which the content appeared before it was removed or disabled;
3. A statement that you have a good faith belief that the content was removed or disabled as a result of mistake or a misidentification of the content; and
4. Your name, address, telephone number, and e-mail address, a statement that you consent to the jurisdiction of the federal court in Seattle, Washington and a statement that you will accept service of process from the person who provided notification of the alleged infringement.

If a notice is received by the Glossy News, you may send a copy of your counter-notice to the original complaining party informing that the person represented who has removed content unduly. We will allow 10 business days to reconcile the matter. Unless the copyright owner files an action seeking a court order against the content provider, member or user, the removed content may be replaced, or access to it restored, in 10 to 14 business days or more after receipt of the counter-notice, at Glossy News’ sole discretion.

About Copyright

Posting copyright-infringing content can lead to the termination of your use of the website, and possibly monetary damages if a copyright owner takes you to court. Here are some GENERAL guidelines to help you determine whether your text and/or content is eligible or whether it infringes someone else’s copyright.

Provided you create something entirely original, you should have no problems. If someone else’s trademark appears in your photo, you need to obtain permission from the trademark holder in order to post your photo to the Website. If you use more than 1-paragraph from an article published elsewhere, you need permission. If you re-write the story, there should be no problem. If you cite the original article, there should likewise be no problem.

Direct copies of content owned by another is almost always protected. If photos are substantially altered, or fall under the umbrella of fair use, you shold be fine with using it. When in doubt, provide a “appears courtesy of” credit.

General Guidelines (PHOTOS):
– If you substantially alter the photo, it works.
– If you Photoshop photos together, it works.
– If the photo is allowed for public use, it works.
– If you have permission to use the photo, it works.
– If the picture is a permitted stock photo, it works.
– If you took the picture yourself, it works.
– If you have reason to believe the photo is not copyright protected, it works.

General Guidelines (ARTICLES):
– If you wrote it entirely yourself, it works.
– If you substantially altered and/or rewrote the article, it works.
– If you take large segments from another article and note it accordingly, it works.

General Guidelines (PERSONS):
– If the person is a public figure (celebrity, politician, etc.), they are fair game.
– If the person is NOT a public figure, change the name and identifying information, and they are fair game.

Anytime we become aware that an article, picture or any part of an article infringes the copyrights of a another party, we will take it down as soon as feasible. We are required to do so by law, and we will always comply. If you believe that any content on the site infringes your copyright, send us a copyright notice and we will take it down. If you believe that we have removed content you uploaded in error and that you are the copyright owner or have permission, you can file a counter notice and let us know. If you repeatedly post infringing content, your use of the Website will be terminated, as this is also a requirement of the law.

Fair Use

It is often common that our use of images, texts, videos or other media may be permitted, even without the original copyright holder’s permission, under the provisions of “Fair Use”. Your decision about whether and how to exercise your fair use rights is solely yours, and we at Glossy News, while we whole-heartedly support our writers, is ultimately your decision to make, and the responsibilities remain yours accordingly.

Read more about Fair Use online:

Images from Pixabay.