Author: P. Beckert
Trump’s Childhood Friend Pens Biography on Trump’s Early Years
Ever wonder what Trump was like as a child? Much like Jesus, his early years are a mystery. In a new book penned by one of Trump’s close childhood friends, we now have a window into the mind of the…
Scientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust
Doctors across the country are warning everyone close to the President to watch for signs of spontaneous combustion due to the heat he is receiving after Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report reveals there were crimes committed by Trump during the…
Bored Donald Trump Plans Orgy for West Wing
The White House announced yesterday, that the “you’re fired” bo$$, Donald J. Trump, was ranting about how bored he is with all the talk about people’s lives in the balance, do gooders, strikes, furloughs, whiny workers, and the general lack…
Pelosi Agrees to Trump’s Wall… On One Condition!
The Lego Solution By Saturday, the day the U.S. government came to a grinding halt, Washington, D.C. long-timer and incoming Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi had “had enough of the wall already.” We all know how Pelosi feels about…
Nightmares Prompt Kim Jong-un to Take Up Zumba
Apparently, fear of his dead father is resurfacing in a big way and has been keeping N. Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un up nights for well over a year now. The leader is said to be suffering from an ongoing…
Miley Cyrus Quotes ‘Then’ and ‘Now’
My, oh my, have times changed. Just a scant three years ago, Miley Cyrus quit the Disney Channel, and her role as Hannah Montana, to become America’s most-watched sex kitten. Talk about your quick-change artists. We thought it would be…
Woman Sells Set of Dinosaur Cheese Puffs for $495 on eBay
Helen Crumples is almost $500 richer today after accepting the highest bid on eBay for her “dinosaur” cheese puff collection. The set of five Chester’s Puffcorn snacks, which look amazingly like miniature brontosauruses, were discovered by Helen while tidying up…
Idaho State Senator Furious Over Virtual Lap Dance Ban
BOISE, Idaho – Sen. Sam Getzless of Pocatello, Idaho is fuming mad about the recent bill passed in his state banning virtual lap dances, otherwise known as “laptop dances.” Getzless claims the ban will affect roughly half the population as…
Avid Golfer Furious Over Woman Buying 9 Iron as Weapon
SUN CITY, Florida – George ‘Mac’ McGruder, 69, has been golfing ever since he was old enough to hold a golf club. Wednesdays have always been his golf days, even when he was a physician and ran his own practice….
Giant Sinkhole Draining Gulf of Mexico
NAPLES, FL – Despite warnings of rising coastal waters around the globe, scientists, in late 2012, found that the coastal waters abutting the Gulf of Mexico were actually declining at a rate of .001 (1/1000) inches per month. While in…