Archive | Strange People

Author of “How to Be A Success” Guides Dies a Dismal Failure

Author of “How to Be A Success” Guides Dies a Dismal Failure

And I’m here to help!

Kilroy Kovacs, prolific publisher of the popular “How to Be a Success” guides, has been found dead in his car outside of Peculiar, Missouri. Cause of death has not been determined.

Kovacs was the author of two dozen “How to Be a Success” books and published in thirteen countries. Sales are estimated at between 5000 and 6000 volumes worldwide, including complimentary and bootleg copies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Strange People0 Comments

Trump Taps Kanye West as Next Press Secretary

Trump Taps Kanye West as Next Press Secretary

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment, Music, Politics, Strange People6 Comments

Breaking News: Woman Claims Trump Didn’t Grope Her

Breaking News: Woman Claims Trump Didn’t Grope Her

A woman from Broken Springs, Michigan has come forward to insist that Donald Trump has not groped her, despite many opportunities to do so. Allison McGregor, a 47-year-old housekeeper who used to work at Trump’s Mar-o Lago hotel/resort in Florida, told Fox News today that the real estate broker used to visit the hotel at least once a week and on exactly zero occasions did he sexually assault her. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Politics, Strange People, Top Stories0 Comments

The Problem Began With Cows- The Oregon Wildlife Refuge Standoff

The Problem Began With Cows- The Oregon Wildlife Refuge Standoff

The problem begins with the cows.

They don’t belong here in the first place. Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People, Top Stories0 Comments

Tapped Phone Conversation Between Putin and Assad Proves Revealing

Tapped Phone Conversation Between Putin and Assad Proves Revealing

The famous expose website Wakileaks (yes, that is spelled correctly) has successfully tapped into a most intriguing phone call between those two most beloved of dictators in the world- Bashar al-Assad and his Grace Vladimir Putin of Russia. We have the transcript here just as it was translated from the phone tap:

RINGGGGGGG!!!!!

Putin: Hello my old buddy Bashar! How are you doing?

Assad: Ah, Putin! My best friend, my ally, my colleague, the guy who saves my butt! How are you yourself?

Putin: Oh, quite good, old chum. A few miscreant Chechens here and there, but nothing like what you are having to put up with. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

The Great Trump’s First Day As President.

The Great Trump’s First Day As President.

Dolly Darling, the President’s Secretary, excitedly and fearfully puts the finishing touches to the Oval Office, the new lair of her boss Donald Trump. He would be here shortly and she knows all too well how critical he is that everything should be perfect., or at least perfect as Donald Trump sees it. She knocks some lint off the large velvet rendition of Elvis in day glow colors in full rocker mode when he was still young and svelte. It hangs where the portrait of Thomas Jefferson used to. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Trump Riled He’s Not on Anon’s KKK List

Trump Riled He’s Not on Anon’s KKK List

Presidential hopeful and media prostitute Donald Trump took to Twitter Thursday evening, erupting at not being included in the Hacktivist organization Anonymous’ KKK list.

The billionaire Trump, whose campaign has revolved around deporting over 11 million illegal aliens if he’s elected President, insisted that he was deliberately omitted from the list in an attempt by Anonymous to attack his character. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Funny Cat Story: Explanation (More Sensible than the Story)

Funny Cat Story: Explanation (More Sensible than the Story)

An anonymous source from Romania emailed me the ‘It’sNoCan’t’ funny cat story as an example of a typical Eastern European fairy tale.

When they contacted me, they claimed they were following a tip from a former vegetable gardener I had met on Snapchat for an impromptu professional gymnastics investment.

However, my memory is hazy about all of this (partly from the passing of many long and happy years in the recent interim), and I can’t say for sure who the person was.

In any case, my source is some kind of an anonymous person of one sort or another, so I respect their (somewhat) sincerely held artistic convictions… Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Strange People0 Comments

WikiLeaks Gets An Inside Look At Assad’s “Historic” Meeting With Putin

WikiLeaks Gets An Inside Look At Assad’s “Historic” Meeting With Putin

The famed web expose site WikiLeaks scored a mammoth coup this week with its hidden camera surveillance of the Assad/Putin meeting in Moscow.

The leader of Syria and the President of Russia were presumably meeting to discuss their mutual concerns about the rebellion in Syria. The hidden tapes revealed much more than that.

The following is a direct transcript of the meeting of the two dictators translated into English: Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People, War Zone0 Comments

Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans

Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans

A Rathskeller deep in the forested woods. Night has drawn its blackest curtain across the outer world, blocking out even the niggardly light from the stars.

Rain hammers against the windows and lightning cackles in the air.

A troupe of men with faces that seek the shadows meet in a corner booth away from the gazes of the other inn patrons.

They speak in cautious whispers that they wish no other ears to intrude upon: Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Hey Kids: Make Your Own ‘Trump for President’ Bumper Stickers

Hey Kids: Make Your Own ‘Trump for President’ Bumper Stickers

Hey Kids! Have Some Fun Cutting Out These ‘Trump For President’ Bumper Stickers!!!

Here is what you need for a little summer fun! Just print off these patriotic bumper stickers, snitch a pair of scissors and some glue from your mom when she isn’t looking and have a blast pasting them all over cars in your neighborhood!

What better way to spend a summer day!

What better way to experience juvenile detention at an early age!

Think of all the no-fun you’ll have!

CHUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!
(NO, IT IS SPELLED RIGHT)

PAID FOR BY DEMOCRATS MESSING WITH THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY.

MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR
THE 1%!
VOTE TRUMP!!!!!!!!!

BRING WORLD WAR III IN
WITH A BANG!!!!!!!
TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!

VOTE DONALD TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Keep the political satirists and cartoonists
employed for the next four years!

MAKE AMERICA SAFE FOR THE OLIGARCHY!
MAKE TRUMP THE MAN!!!!!!

PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT IN THE U.S.
ANYONE THROUGH SHEER ARROGANCE
AND AGGRESSIVENESS CAN BECOME PRESIDENT

VOTE TRUMP!!!

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Donald Trump’s War Record

Donald Trump’s War Record

After Donald Trump’s scathing attack on Senator John McCain’s war record the Investigation’s Department here at Glossy News did a little digging into Trump’s own military record.

It turns out that the great Donald also has a legacy of war experience.

Here is what we have uncovered:

As a young child Donald Trump on 10 separate occasions was involved in fierce snowball fights, one even causing injury to his right leg as he was hit by a devious ice-ball. Continue Reading

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