“I Mean, Who WOULDN’T Like to Punch a Nazi?” Asks Fellow Nazi

Ari Anacion, self-proclaimed white nationalist, neo-nazi, and part-time full-time child slapper, knows that people like him are likely enough to get punched, when you think about. Nonetheless, he asks, “I mean, why wouldn’t the J… [ED: somebody, anybody, who cares what!] wanna to punch a Nazi?Read more “I Mean, Who WOULDN’T Like to Punch a Nazi?” Asks Fellow Nazi

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Advertizement: Join Gay Tankie Liberation 2018! (When You Have a Hammer, Everything Looks Like a Sickle)

Are you sick and tired of being accused of being a mainstream, heterobourgeois square?

Do your most authentic Komrads laugh at you? Read more Advertizement: Join Gay Tankie Liberation 2018! (When You Have a Hammer, Everything Looks Like a Sickle)

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The NRA, Facing Increasing Hatred From U.S. Citizens, Reacts With More Intimidating Propaganda Tactics.


The National Rifle Association, under intense pressure to not lose the control they have over American politics, has embarked on a new propaganda relations campaign designed to keep naive Americans under their psychic spell and their intimidation thumb. Read more The NRA, Facing Increasing Hatred From U.S. Citizens, Reacts With More Intimidating Propaganda Tactics.

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GlossyNews movie is done, we need your help!

The GlossyNews exclusive “How Bobby Joe: the Movie” is in the final stages of post-production, but we need your help to get it distributed! Video below, but check us out on Kickstarter

Check it out, maybe consider throwing in a couple bucks, but if not, you know, at least thanks for watching! Read more GlossyNews movie is done, we need your help!

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‘Fearless Romantic Charmer’ (Creep?) Marries Bradford Lass After 100 Unexpected Cafe Visits (2/2)

Last time:

The best thing of all is when I suddenly had a knock on the upstairs window at 4 am; the poor bugger had followed me home around 6 pm, and had finally plucked up the courage to speak to us! Read more ‘Fearless Romantic Charmer’ (Creep?) Marries Bradford Lass After 100 Unexpected Cafe Visits (2/2)

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‘Fearless Romantic Charmer’ (Creep?) Marries Bradford Lass After 100 Unexpected Cafe Visits (1/2)

A hearty Yorkshire lass from Bradford has finally married the lad of her dreams, after the dogged persistence of her beau-to-be finally won her round.

Lucy Scappaticci, who works at the Baker’s End Cafe, first noticed Wee Davie Singh when he staggered in one morning after a heavy work session of World of Warcraft. Read more ‘Fearless Romantic Charmer’ (Creep?) Marries Bradford Lass After 100 Unexpected Cafe Visits (1/2)

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Club Punishes Talk Show Audiences for Drowning out Guests with Lingering Applause

Dateline: LOS ANGELES—Investigators have uncovered a club devoted to shaming audience members of American talk shows whose clapping and other loud reactions to the guests’ remarks often drown out what the guests are saying, wasting the time of the viewers at home.

Based in LA, the club is called Citizens for Silencing Audience Noise. Ray Akaji, CSAN’s spokesperson, expressed befuddlement at the audacity and self-centeredness of the studio audiences.
Read more Club Punishes Talk Show Audiences for Drowning out Guests with Lingering Applause

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Author of “How to Be A Success” Guides Dies a Dismal Failure

And I’m here to help!

Kilroy Kovacs, prolific publisher of the popular “How to Be a Success” guides, has been found dead in his car outside of Peculiar, Missouri. Cause of death has not been determined.

Kovacs was the author of two dozen “How to Be a Success” books and published in thirteen countries. Sales are estimated at between 5000 and 6000 volumes worldwide, including complimentary and bootleg copies. Read more Author of “How to Be A Success” Guides Dies a Dismal Failure

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Breaking News: Woman Claims Trump Didn’t Grope Her

A woman from Broken Springs, Michigan has come forward to insist that Donald Trump has not groped her, despite many opportunities to do so. Allison McGregor, a 47-year-old housekeeper who used to work at Trump’s Mar-o Lago hotel/resort in Florida, told Fox News today that the real estate broker used to visit the hotel at least once a week and on exactly zero occasions did he sexually assault her. Read more Breaking News: Woman Claims Trump Didn’t Grope Her

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Tapped Phone Conversation Between Putin and Assad Proves Revealing

The famous expose website Wakileaks (yes, that is spelled correctly) has successfully tapped into a most intriguing phone call between those two most beloved of dictators in the world- Bashar al-Assad and his Grace Vladimir Putin of Russia. We have the transcript here just as it was translated from the phone tap:

RINGGGGGGG!!!!!

Putin: Hello my old buddy Bashar! How are you doing?

Assad: Ah, Putin! My best friend, my ally, my colleague, the guy who saves my butt! How are you yourself?

Putin: Oh, quite good, old chum. A few miscreant Chechens here and there, but nothing like what you are having to put up with. Read more Tapped Phone Conversation Between Putin and Assad Proves Revealing

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The Great Trump’s First Day As President.

Dolly Darling, the President’s Secretary, excitedly and fearfully puts the finishing touches to the Oval Office, the new lair of her boss Donald Trump. He would be here shortly and she knows all too well how critical he is that everything should be perfect., or at least perfect as Donald Trump sees it. She knocks some lint off the large velvet rendition of Elvis in day glow colors in full rocker mode when he was still young and svelte. It hangs where the portrait of Thomas Jefferson used to. Read more The Great Trump’s First Day As President.

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Trump Riled He’s Not on Anon’s KKK List

Presidential hopeful and media prostitute Donald Trump took to Twitter Thursday evening, erupting at not being included in the Hacktivist organization Anonymous’ KKK list.

The billionaire Trump, whose campaign has revolved around deporting over 11 million illegal aliens if he’s elected President, insisted that he was deliberately omitted from the list in an attempt by Anonymous to attack his character. Read more Trump Riled He’s Not on Anon’s KKK List

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Funny Cat Story: Explanation (More Sensible than the Story)

An anonymous source from Romania emailed me the ‘It’sNoCan’t’ funny cat story as an example of a typical Eastern European fairy tale.

When they contacted me, they claimed they were following a tip from a former vegetable gardener I had met on Snapchat for an impromptu professional gymnastics investment.

However, my memory is hazy about all of this (partly from the passing of many long and happy years in the recent interim), and I can’t say for sure who the person was.

In any case, my source is some kind of an anonymous person of one sort or another, so I respect their (somewhat) sincerely held artistic convictions… Read more Funny Cat Story: Explanation (More Sensible than the Story)

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