Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

Lady Gaga now regrets the song she did together with the popular pervert, proliferator of pubescent pornography and deflowerer of underage girls and perhaps small furry animals R. Kelly. The Ga now says of her 2013 conjugal ditty that ‘Do What You Want With My Body’ now disturbs her terribly. “Not only did we sing it, we did it.” confessed the singer fresh from her Golden Globe victory with the song “Shallow.” Read more Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

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Trump Visited By Ghosts Of Anti-Communists Past

He was about to slumber, alone in the White House on this winter’s Christmas Eve. Melania and the boys were in Mar-A-Lago. Congress and a quarter of the Federal workforce was shut down. The few advisers that he still listened to had suggested he not to go to Florida with the rest of the family. With so many Fed employees not working and not having extra money for the holidays, they felt that it would look bad for him to take a vacation at this time. Better to go later after the whole shut-down thing had blown over and no one would be paying attention. He had to stay in D.C. and stew in the juices of the soup he himself had made.

Wearily he prepared himself for bed. As usual, comments from the press criticizing him ran unchecked through his head. He was unable to control or stop them. He lay down in bed and, knowing sleep would not be soon in coming, began his nightly barrage of tweets, mostly focusing on the very disturbances going through his mind.

Thirty minutes later the tweets did their magic and together with the sleeping pill he took he meandered into that realm between waking thoughts and the peace of slumber.

It was this in this dark purgatory of repose that the first apparition appeared. It came first as a disembodied voice- “Ebeneezer……ooops!…….I mean ‘Donald’!……Donald!……..why do you not understand?” Read more Trump Visited By Ghosts Of Anti-Communists Past

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Flu Spray Replacement Found Among City Dwelling Homeless population

For many years, the flu vaccine was administered primarily in two ways—via an injection or through a nasal spray. However, many pharmacies and doctors have steered away from the use of the flu spray, and settled almost exclusively on the use of the injection. This shift was due, in large part, to alarmed parents who voiced concerns that the act of ingesting something through the nose could lead to a higher inclination to indulge in nasally administered narcotics later in life

Ironically, these parents failed to recognize that narcotics can also be administered through injections… usually to consume drugs that are both more addicting and harmful. The concerns somehow were limited to the action of ingestion via the nasal cavity and its development into drug usage down the line. Despite there being absolutely no evidence to support these claims, officials in the medical field have still fielded their questions and concerns, and responded amicably.

Lisa Martin, a mother of two elementary students, asserted that, “There was just a small period where we were running out of stuff to complain about. If I’m not constantly questioning the status quo disguised as concern for my child’s well-being, how are people going to know that I actually care about my kids?”

Read more Flu Spray Replacement Found Among City Dwelling Homeless population

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The Unofficial & Definitely Un-Presidential Meanings of ‘POTUS’

Our national beloved-love of acronyms has brought us a new term for our fearless Fuhrers. The term, which took me a while to understand (as everyone tells you acronyms but doesn’t bother to translate them for you!) is ‘POTUS’ – the initials standing for ‘President Of The United States.’ Read more The Unofficial & Definitely Un-Presidential Meanings of ‘POTUS’

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Have A Trump-Free Day!

It is time to institute a new holiday into our already heavily laden days-off agenda. (Our brethren government employees always want more excuses for days off!)

With the sudden stress that has seized the nerves of our entire nation due to the radical changes in politics these last two years ,we need a cooling off period; much like what is going on with the Fukishima nuclear reactor that was totaled by a tidal wave on the Japanese coast a while back. We need a time out, a recess, a nappy time…

Just like Miss Julie used to give us in kindergarten, when she herself needed a break from us kids; rather than having a breakdown herself!

Much of the cause of this stress for many U.S. citizens (and a lot of people in the rest of the world as well!) is our Commandant in Chief… Read more Have A Trump-Free Day!

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“I Mean, Who WOULDN’T Like to Punch a Nazi?” Asks Fellow Nazi

Ari Anacion, self-proclaimed white nationalist, neo-nazi, and part-time full-time child slapper, knows that people like him are likely enough to get punched, when you think about. Nonetheless, he asks, “I mean, why wouldn’t the J… [ED: somebody, anybody, who cares what!] wanna to punch a Nazi?Read more “I Mean, Who WOULDN’T Like to Punch a Nazi?” Asks Fellow Nazi

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