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Update on The Great Flâneur Massacre: Plus Two Free Books!

Update on The Great Flâneur Massacre: Plus Two Free Books!

To celebrate my self-publishing of my first extended work of fiction, The Great Flâneur Massacre, I am providing two free gifts to past, present and future readers.

One free text is a non-fiction ebook related to The Great Flâneur Massacre itself. It is a partly autobiographical piece, where I discuss my novella, the context of this novella in my life, and my views on some key themes in the novella itself.

This ebook is called: Wallace Runnymede and The Great Flâneur Massacre: Reflections in and out of Season.

The other free text is the first volume of an ongoing series of anthologies of my ‘fake news’ satire pieces from various online satire outlets, including Glossy News.

The title of my anthology series is: Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes.

And more precisely, volume 1 of my fake news satire anthology is called: I Shouldn’t do God.

I Shouldn’t do God contains revised versions of some of my fake news stories; many of them, I trust, are even funnier than the originals.

There are also two new stories included in I Shouldn’t do God. I promise not to publish the two new stories until at least January 2016. 

And in this same satire anthology, there is a new, previously unpublished essay, serving as the introduction to the volume. The essay, Why Shouldn’t I do God?, ponders on what it means to write religious satire when such writings are often deemed to be blasphemous towards God, gods or religion, instead of being (in a funny kind of way) a very high and generous tribute towards the high values that these are supposed to represent.

While making these two ebooks available for free may of course be of some benefit in making my work more widely known, I believe it will also be helpful for many individuals who might not otherwise have come to know my work.

The free books will also be of assistance to people who are unsure about paying money for the work of an author they may not have read before, or who they may have only read my work on the online outlets where I have been publishing my work up to now.

In the future, I do intend to keep up a ‘dual model’ of free and charged works. If you have any suggestions about this or any other topic, or any feedback or opinions on my writings, please feel free to email me on: wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

The two free texts (Wallace Runnymede and The Great Flâneur Massacre: Reflections in and out of Season and I Shouldn’t do God) are scheduled for 31 July 2015.

And, better still, my ebook novella The Great Flâneur Massacre, along with two relevant bonus stories from Glossy News, will also be released on this date, for the princely and extravagant sum of just about $3!

Oof! I just don’t know how the hell I get away with such ruthless marketing tactics.

I mean, 3 whole dollars for a mere novella that might just be the greatest thing since Swifted Jonathans!

Or not.

Well, there’s only one way to find out, right?..

:P

Join me again tomorrow (July 28), for some more information, before all three books are finally released together on July 31!

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

NASA Pluto Probe Discovers Oddly Familiar Tabloid

NASA Pluto Probe Discovers Oddly Familiar Tabloid

Andromeda President: I don’t mind a few Milky Way types coming here the odd time, within reason, but they should bloody well accept the way we do things here!!!

Tearful Plutonian claims: My grandchildren are afraid of Neptunians who speak in senses they can’t understand!!! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

The Great Flâneur Massacre: Novella Excerpt 2. Stomping on Stamp.

The Great Flâneur Massacre: Novella Excerpt 2. Stomping on Stamp.

STAMFORD

No I swear sis, I’m literally not looking down on you!

Well, not in that way.

Well, nor in the other sense.

I mean, never mind all those booky-kooky fine details, mate. What I’m trying to say is, you know, you’re surprisingly tall for one of your type.

But maybe need to dress a bit classier, yeah? You’re a bit of a mainstream girl in those bloody jeans. Get something a bit more local, less mainstream straight-vanilla-globalistic-ish-subservient, like.

Know what I mean, more ‘you.’ More authentically Tibetanist, right? Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Top Stories0 Comments

The Great Flâneur Massacre: Novella Excerpt 1. Such a Song and Dance!

The Great Flâneur Massacre: Novella Excerpt 1. Such a Song and Dance!

This is the first of two samples from my novella ‘The Great Flâneur Massacre.’

At the rather pompous academic conference which is the centrepiece of this novella in dramatic format, Stamford Rhodes (Stamp) has just presented a patronizing paper…

Where he makes clear his achingly noble desire to save Tibetans from themselves.

The very idea that not all Tibetans may agree with his criticisms of China just blows his mind! Continue Reading

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Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (3/3)

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (3/3)

Here are the rest of the commandments the Watchtower is graciously bestowing on the followers of Jehovah…

In order to facilitate any relatively ethical, accountable and non-abusive uses of the generally satanic and perniciously demonic spiritual technology known as “blood transfusions.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Hey! Grab Them Cuban Guys! I Need My Car Fixed!

Hey! Grab Them Cuban Guys! I Need My Car Fixed!

Now that Cuba and the United States are starting to talk to each other again, this could be the start of a beautiful relationship Humphrey Bogart- Claude Rains style. We got the money, they got the raw talent. I’m talking cars here.

Because of the 1960’s trade embargo Cuba has been cut off from the great world of American automobiles (that is- great to them, not to the rest of the world. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Society0 Comments

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (2/3)

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (2/3)

Last time:

OOF! Well, that was a nice Godly-Gish-sermon to tire you out. Now that you’re on the ropes, I’ll rush through the more embarrassing bit.

But what could it possibly be?

(Psst! Cryptic and mysteriously recondite hint… READ THE DAMN TITLE!).

Ha! Nope! You didn’t just hear me say I was playing mind games. It was just the Devil whispering in your ear. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (1/3)

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (1/3)

Well, it only took me a day to beat The Respect Police! :P

And to publish my astonishing revelation of the boundless grace, mercy and abhorrently irrational bullshit…

That Lord Jehovah (of Watchtower celebrity fame and stardom) dispenses to his most achingly subservient and submissive followers.

So, this is the latest (not-so-)private revelation from the Lord that Jehovah has granted unto his best buddies (abject servants) among the Witnesses. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Sinister Spooks Threaten Mr TM re: Forthcoming Jehovah Smackdown

Sinister Spooks Threaten Mr TM re: Forthcoming Jehovah Smackdown

Mr TM has been threatened with legal action by malign and powerful West Coast bureaucratic forces that he is strictly forbidden to name…

On account of his anticipated smackdown on the Jehovah’s Witnesses sect.

GlossyNews? Well, that as well.

Still, as Mr TM delights in pissing all over third rails, this is not such a problem for him.

More importantly, notable krap-aid-cult and edgy fringe spiritual-dogmatising-club, Jehovah’s Witnesses, has finally given permission for children to get blood transfusions. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (2/2)

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (2/2)

Last time, I acknowledged that all forms of prejudice are complex, and cannot be seen as corresponding one-to-one with each other.

However, while making these qualifications, I also took the risk of drawing an analogy between racism and sexism.

And as is well known, racism and sexism are two forms of prejudice and hatred that motivated Dylan Roof’s murder of nine innocent people in Charleston. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (1/2)

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (1/2)

One look at the US media, including the comments sections, will show you that something disturbing is happening.

Something which has also been happening in many other countries for a long, long time.

I speak of an abstract “humanity-centred” moralism that only half-condemns racially-motivated crimes. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Alex Salmond: “PC Bigots Don’t Understand this here Culture of Mine.”

Alex Salmond: “PC Bigots Don’t Understand this here Culture of Mine.”

Widely respected political hipster and relentlessly-resentless SNP politician Alex Salmond has recently performed a valiant act of radical political performance theatre, with his “behave yourself, woman!”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-politics/11653578/Alex-Salmond-must-urgently-apologise-for-his-unacceptable-sexism.html Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (2/2)

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (2/2)

Last time:

“A neocon is a Trotskyite who has been mugged by the prospect of a huge state salary.”

To proceed further:

The same is true of liberal interventionists, of course.

I mean, the only real difference between neocons and liberal interventionists is that a necon wants to stone gay people, while a liberal interventionist wants to bomb people who stone gay people. Continue Reading

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The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (1/2)

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (1/2)

We are the dead.

But we still speak.

And condemn.

And we speak and condemn regarding the report on US government’s (or if you prefer, “International Community’s”) footshuffling regarding the torture of the enemies du jour (you know, brown, Muslim, Middle-Eastern, whatever)… Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Top Stories0 Comments

Preview for Self-Published Play: “The Great Flâneur Massacre.”

Preview for Self-Published Play: “The Great Flâneur Massacre.”

The TM-sphere has been abuzz with speculation on the novella in quasi-dramatic form that Mr TM is due to self-publish in the near future.

(Well, June, actually. But then, why should Mr TM tell you the exact date at this stage? That would spoil all the fun; or Mr TM’s fun, in any case; which is not an entirely inconsequential consideration, after all).

However, the Malign-Forces-of-International-Creative-Transparency-Fundamentalism may be somewhat disappointed, that Mr TM’s first fairly lengthy work will be released under a pseudonym, and not under his real name. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest1 Comment

The News (Really) Bytes – May 2015

The News (Really) Bytes – May 2015

Cleveland, Ohio Police Chief says that 71 people arrested while protesting the acquittal of a police officer who shot to death two unarmed black drivers was because “a few of them went over the line.”

Of course, shooting two people 137 times is not considered “over the line” by Cleveland authorities.

That is seven bullets more than the Texas law officials used to kill Bonnie and Clyde who WERE armed, had killed 9 law enforcement agents and had twelve guns on them when they were ambushed. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Human Interest0 Comments

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