Archive | Human Interest

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (2/2)

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (2/2)

Last time, I acknowledged that all forms of prejudice are complex, and cannot be seen as corresponding one-to-one with each other.

However, while making these qualifications, I also took the risk of drawing an analogy between racism and sexism.

And as is well known, racism and sexism are two forms of prejudice and hatred that motivated Dylan Roof’s murder of nine innocent people in Charleston. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (1/2)

Racist Murders at Charleston: All in This Together? (1/2)

One look at the US media, including the comments sections, will show you that something disturbing is happening.

Something which has also been happening in many other countries for a long, long time.

I speak of an abstract “humanity-centred” moralism that only half-condemns racially-motivated crimes. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Alex Salmond: “PC Bigots Don’t Understand this here Culture of Mine.”

Alex Salmond: “PC Bigots Don’t Understand this here Culture of Mine.”

Widely respected political hipster and relentlessly-resentless SNP politician Alex Salmond has recently performed a valiant act of radical political performance theatre, with his “behave yourself, woman!”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-politics/11653578/Alex-Salmond-must-urgently-apologise-for-his-unacceptable-sexism.html Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (2/2)

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (2/2)

Last time:

“A neocon is a Trotskyite who has been mugged by the prospect of a huge state salary.”

To proceed further:

The same is true of liberal interventionists, of course.

I mean, the only real difference between neocons and liberal interventionists is that a necon wants to stone gay people, while a liberal interventionist wants to bomb people who stone gay people. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (1/2)

The Fastidious Liberators: Open Letter From the Dead (1/2)

We are the dead.

But we still speak.

And condemn.

And we speak and condemn regarding the report on US government’s (or if you prefer, “International Community’s”) footshuffling regarding the torture of the enemies du jour (you know, brown, Muslim, Middle-Eastern, whatever)… Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Top Stories0 Comments

Preview for Self-Published Play: “The Great Flâneur Massacre.”

Preview for Self-Published Play: “The Great Flâneur Massacre.”

The TM-sphere has been abuzz with speculation on the novella in quasi-dramatic form that Mr TM is due to self-publish in the near future.

(Well, June, actually. But then, why should Mr TM tell you the exact date at this stage? That would spoil all the fun; or Mr TM’s fun, in any case; which is not an entirely inconsequential consideration, after all).

However, the Malign-Forces-of-International-Creative-Transparency-Fundamentalism may be somewhat disappointed, that Mr TM’s first fairly lengthy work will be released under a pseudonym, and not under his real name. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest1 Comment

The News (Really) Bytes – May 2015

The News (Really) Bytes – May 2015

Cleveland, Ohio Police Chief says that 71 people arrested while protesting the acquittal of a police officer who shot to death two unarmed black drivers was because “a few of them went over the line.”

Of course, shooting two people 137 times is not considered “over the line” by Cleveland authorities.

That is seven bullets more than the Texas law officials used to kill Bonnie and Clyde who WERE armed, had killed 9 law enforcement agents and had twelve guns on them when they were ambushed. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Crime, Human Interest0 Comments

Long Lost Photo Reveals Titanic Hit a Wahlberg

Long Lost Photo Reveals Titanic Hit a Wahlberg

NEW YORK CITY – A shocking revelation was made this week when a photograph uncovered in the corner of a dusty attic changed the history behind a catastrophic event that took place on the night of April 14th into the morning of April 15th in 1912.

For more than 103 years, it was common knowledge that the large vessel carrying 2,224 passengers and crew had collided with a large iceberg approximately 375 miles (600 km) south of Newfoundland, causing the ship’s hull plates to buckle inwards along the starboard side and allowing water to flow in gradually from the Atlantic Ocean. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Science1 Comment

Fifty Shades of White

Fifty Shades of White

When I was first learning how to color in 1st grade, my art teacher taught us about red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black and white. Pretty much all the colors I’ve needed ever since.

Then I got my first box of 64 Crayola crayons. It blew my mind. So many colors I had never imagined. One called Reddish Orange. Another one called Orangish Red.

And Indian Red, which I could not in clear conscience draw with until they renamed it Native American Red. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Education, Human Interest1 Comment

Decidophobic Man Unable to Dismiss Completed Calendar Task Involving Ex-Girlfriend

Decidophobic Man Unable to Dismiss Completed Calendar Task Involving Ex-Girlfriend

Wilbur, Kansas – 29-year-old Marketing Manager, Larry Rossgarden, has considered himself to be a procrastinator since his college days at the University of Kansas, where he would consistently delay writing papers and studying for exams until literally minutes before they were due or set to occur.

Since then, his bad habit has gotten him kicked out of school, fired from 23 different jobs and resulted in the termination of a longstanding relationship with his college sweetheart, Lisa Janks. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Society0 Comments

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

St. Louis, Missouri – As the newest Ghostbusters film comes closer to fruition, more and more companies are releasing products that, in thought, will appeal to the everyday consumer who doubles as a Ghostbusterian.

The latest household name to join in on the ghost hunt? The Nestlé Purina PetCare Company with an innovative treat, featuring a new take on their original Beggin’ Strips that have gone unchanged since they debuted in 1993.

The new product, known as Bagans Strips, are still catered towards dogs and are named after the late TV star and former host of the Travel Channel series, Ghost Adventurers, Zak Bagans. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Welcome to CatMatch.com

Welcome to CatMatch.com

Exciting news from Match.com, the world’s largest online match-making service. Since our launch in 1995, our goal has been to help men and women find their perfect someone. To date we have found matches for several million people – and successful matches for over 50 of them.

But why should humans be the only ones supported in finding their soulmates? That’s why we are proud to announce our newest service: CatMatch.com, the first online matchmaking service for cats. No longer will your favorite feline need to prowl the alley for a suitable mate. Check out some of our hottest kitties and subscribe your cat today. Who knows? Perhaps the kitten she’ll be smitten by is just a mouse click away.

Catmatch - DustyDusty7045 – 11-year old female, Portland, OR
Seeking male kitty for spooning on couch and cleaning fur

ABOUT ME

Relationship: Single – one owner.
Body type: Furry, light shedder – mostly on my master’s pillow.
Have kids? Yes, four, but they all disappeared at 8 weeks and I have no idea where they went.
Litter box trained? Absolutely! (But sometimes I forget when I’m tired.)
Favorite hobbies: Chasing red laser pointers, licking myself in my privates.
Favorite food: Ants, dust, rubber bands – pretty much anything I find on the kitchen floor. Oh, and my own vomit. But no one else’s – that would be gross!

More about me: If you like curling up on the bed for 18 – 20 hours a day, I may be just your girl. But don’t ask me to go outside. It looks terrifying out there.

Catmatch - GizmoGizmo2996 – 8-year old male, El Paso, TX
Seeking submissive female who won’t bug me

ABOUT ME

Relationship: Single – one owner but I just ignore him.
Body type: Rock hard abs. If you don’t believe me, just test me.
Have kids? Probably. Who knows? Who cares? Once the dirty deed is done, it’s not my problem, you know what I’m sayin’?
Litter box trained? Nope. Nobody tells me where I can and can’t take a piss. I make my own rules, honey.
Favorite hobbies: Beating the crap out of any neighborhood cat that dares to step foot on my yard.
Favorite food: Steak, pizza, pretty much anything I find on my owner’s dinner plate after he passes out in a drunken stupor. And the occasional mouse head.

More about me: Neutered? Do I look like I’m neutered? If you’re looking for a kitty to curl up next to you, I suggest you hit on Dusty up above. But if you’re willing to leave me alone and bring me a dead mouse now and then, I might let you hang out.

Catmatch - PrincessPrincessFuzzyFace984 – 6-year old female, Cherry Hill, NJ
Seeking male kitty willing to pamper me

ABOUT ME

Relationship: It’s complicated. Nobody dares call themselves my “owner”.
Body type: Just look at my fur coat. If you guessed Armani, you’re right.
Have kids? Are you kidding? With a body like mine, who has time for kids?
Litter box trained? I am shocked you even ask. Where are your manners?
Favorite hobbies: Being patted on my tummy, my chin, and behind my ears. Oh, and coughing up furballs after I preen.
Favorite food: Anything from the gourmet food aisle. Only fresh tuna or steak tartare pour moi.

More about me: I am used to the finer things in life. My own bed, my own chaise lounge for sunning on the deck. I wear a bejeweled collar. But I refuse to let anyone dress me up in a ladybug costume.

Catmatch - ZeusZeus6798 – 16-year old male, Sioux Falls, SD
Seeking a remote control and a beer

ABOUT ME

Relationship: Single – one owner but we have an agreement – you don’t bother me; I won’t bother you.
Body type: Not really sure since I can’t see past my belly. Does that make me fat? Yeah, I’m guessin’ I’m fat. Big deal.
Have kids? Probably somewhere. But that was a long time ago. And I don’t have opposable thumbs so it’s not like I can write them to ask how they’re doing.
Litter box trained? If it’s placed within a foot of wherever I’m resting, then I’ll give it a shot. Otherwise, nah, not really.
Favorite hobbies: See the picture? I’m doing it. Pretty much a one-trick pony, I’m afraid.
Favorite food: Not really too picky, just so long as I don’t have to hunt for my meal. Look at this body – it hasn’t hunted since Friends was on the tube.

More about me: I’m not what you would call the adventurous type. Just put me in front of a large screen, turn on any channel, and I’m good. I really like that Fish Tank channel. Could watch that for days.

Catmatch - CupcakeCupcake1573 – 12-week old old female, Akron, OH
Seeking kitty in the mirror to be my playmate. He’s so funny.

ABOUT ME

Relationship: That’s a big, fancy word. What does it mean?
Body type: Adorable. At least that’s what my master tells me.
Have kids? Aren’t I too little to have kittens of my own?
Litter box trained? Not yet, but I’m working on it. My owner keeps spraying me in the face whenever I make a poopy in the living room.
Favorite hobbies: Chasing my tail, getting stuck in funny places like the bathroom sink, and falling asleep in adorably cute positions.
Favorite food: Buttons, gum, tape, shoelaces, dirt, or anything shiny.

More about me: I like to play and play all day long. I wonder what happens if I tip over that vase? Um, a little help please outta this waste basket. I think I’m stuck. Oops. I just spit up a plant. I wonder if I can get inside this shoe. Where did that kitty in the mirror go? zzzzzzzzzz

Some pretty exciting kitties looking for a special someone to nuzzle up next to. So what are you waiting for? Subscribe to CatMatch.com today and find your PURR-fect match.

Coming in summer 2015: Match.com – Bovine Edition.

Share

Posted in Entertainment, Human Interest, Top Stories1 Comment

Oregon Man Successfully Hides Chin from Wife

Oregon Man Successfully Hides Chin from Wife

Portland, OR—The vanity of the world is reaching new heights, or should I say lows.

Recently in the news, a Korean husband divorced his wife when she birthed an ugly child, an Indian woman left her husband when she discovered he couldn’t spell, and a Mexican man, hell-bent on singlehandedly populating the world, abandoned his wife when he learned she was secretly using birth control. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Strange People0 Comments

What Happens When a Satirist Feels Uncomfortable at the Satire of Others?

What Happens When a Satirist Feels Uncomfortable at the Satire of Others?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I can’t seem do the links correctly for these (in bold) Tried using wordpress function, but trial run was unsatisfactory. Please do them for me?

EDITOR’S NOTE: No problem. Now I just have to figure out how to delete these damn notes to each other here up top.

At the risk of egregious flattery to my colleagues, my favorite satire outlet I write for is Glossynews. And I once wrote the following piece, which actually means a lot to me. [a href=”http://glossynews.com/entertainment/television/201410120242/autistic-savants-inspiring-says-cable-tv-diversity-pimp/”>It is THIS one. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

Conspiracy Theorist Denies Olive Oil is Extra Virgin

Conspiracy Theorist Denies Olive Oil is Extra Virgin

NEW YORK – Guido da Vinci had always wondered how there could so much extra virgin olive oil in supermarkets across the world.

“I mean wherever I went in the world, I could find extra virgin olive oil. A lot of it. Finally, I thought: how could this be?”

“So I did some research on the internet. And I found that more than two-thirds of olive oil that is labeled as extra virgin isn’t really extra virgin. Some of it may be virgin, but lots of it isn’t virgin at all!” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Science0 Comments

Guy Who Screams “IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW THEY FEEL!” Actually Doesn’t.

Guy Who Screams “IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW THEY FEEL!” Actually Doesn’t.

Sexually frustrated loudmouth, Humbert Hegel, is a very vocal coffee-break-emancipator at a certain academic institution.

But what’s the one thing everyone loves about Humbert?

…Apart from his being so damn interdisciplinary that there’s NOTHING IN THIS WORLD about which he’s not an unquestionable and unqualified unqualifiedly infallible expert? Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Strange People0 Comments

Page 1 of 2412345...1020...Last »
Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

21 posts
8 posts
1 post
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial