Cardiology surgery
Posted in Human Interest

EMERGENCY ROOM! HELP ME! I’M DYING!

God cursed me with a heart condition. I have a good idea why, but if I tell you, I’ll have to kill myself. One dreadful symptom is shortness of breath (SOB). That and an adverse echocardiogram led my cardiologist to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! EMERGENCY ROOM! HELP ME! I’M DYING!
Breasts story
Posted in Human Interest Society

Size Matters! (By Richard Seltzer)

Bob was an advertising executive who had a bright future ahead of him in the sales of women’s undergarments, especially brassieres. Starting in the art department, he had won praise and promotion for the beauty of the female forms he…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Size Matters! (By Richard Seltzer)
Waiter disaster
Posted in Human Interest

Lordy, Lordy, Was I a Terrible Waiter! (But My CUSTOMERS Were WORSE!!!!!!)

Why did you choose the restaurant where I worked at that particular time? A few seconds earlier or later, you would have been safe. But Fate dropped the piano on your head, and you drew me as your waiter. You…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Lordy, Lordy, Was I a Terrible Waiter! (But My CUSTOMERS Were WORSE!!!!!!)
Posted in Human Interest Society Top Stories

Millennial Children Demand Parents Pay for Relocation As Tensions In the Gulf Grow

Salem, OR- As tensions between the United States and Iran continue to flare after the latest attack on an American drone, more and more millennial children are demanding that Mom and Dad pay to send them away before war is…

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Posted in Human Interest Society

The Knives of Athenry: A Far from Humorous Satire on ‘The Fields of Athenry’ (NSFW)

By a lonely Irish ward, I heard an infant wailing “Mammy, they said they’re taking me away, For the people repealed the 8th To be cut in pieces is my fate Mammy, save me, or I’ll never see the light…

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Posted in Human Interest Music

EDGY POEM! Spacking Out (Autism v Artistry, The Light Side of a Dark Affliction!)

My jeans are on backwards and tattered legs Not quite a six-pack, more of a party keg Don’t need a wingman, don’t need no aid Think I’ll just sit at home and write dystopia instead If you think my eyes…

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Posted in Human Interest Society

One Family’s Intolerance Toward Intolerance

Orange County, CA- “My grandfather was bald, so was his Da… so is mine,” Jake Collins tells me as he runs a tattooed hand across his shiny pink scalp. “It’s kinda a family trait, like diabetes, quick tempers, and tattoos,”…

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Posted in Human Interest Society

Revenge Of The Seth

Pre-Summer Bummer Clear, FL- “Authorities have no leads at this time, and the student body is obviously very disappointed,” Clear County Superintendent of Schools, Denise Tasker told reporters from the steps of James Marsden High School on Monday morning. “I…

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Posted in Entertainment Environment Human Interest

My Short-Lived Career As A BINGO Announcer

Throughout my life, I’ve held a variety of jobs – from Sales Director to Director of Sales and everything in between. Given the chance, I could have been a superstar selling advertising, life insurance or legal research to anyone from…

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Posted in Human Interest Opinion/Editorial Society Travel

Welcome to Portland

[The following is a message from the Portland, Oregon Visitors’ Bureau.] Welcome to Portland, Oregon, America’s Most Liberal City. If you’re planning to spend a few days in the Rose City, we at the Portland Visitor’s Bureau would like to…

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Posted in Human Interest Technology

Last Remaining Author Paid by Parakeet

Dateline: Cubicle District 64, Year 2028—Mystifying tens of millions of authors, Horatio Masterson is the only remaining writer who is still somehow being paid for his work, and in this exclusive report, we reveal the secret of his success. FIGHT…

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Posted in Human Interest

Shiver at the Sight of You

The song ‘Pure’ by the Lightning Seeds helped inspire my best ever poem; currently unpublished. (Some sagely person recently managed to work out the premise of the novel, or come very close, from the title alone; spooky!) FIGHT THE FAKE…

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Posted in Human Interest

Ave Libertas! A Poem to Inner Freedom

All I need is a foothold I can’t describe it, see it, hear it; and yet, I know it is there. That foothold is there. O, foothold without a name! Great is thy power; for thou art the axis of…

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Posted in Human Interest

Computer Program Translates Ordinary English into Shakespearean Verse

Dateline: CAMBRIDGE, MA—A team of computer programmers at MIT, led by Wallace Thickglasses, has completed its Shakespearean Translator, which converts plain English into Shakespearean verse. The translator has received rave reviews from Shakespeare scholars. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these…

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Posted in Human Interest

Life Coach Recommends Obsessive, Idiosyncratic Behaviour to Earn Immortality by Word Coinage

Dateline: TORONTO—Melvin Meister’s Labour of Fame Organization, founded in 1973, has been vindicated over forty years later, as the Oxford English Dictionary added the word “smeelian” to its account of the English language, in recognition of the life’s work of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Life Coach Recommends Obsessive, Idiosyncratic Behaviour to Earn Immortality by Word Coinage
Posted in Human Interest Religionism

The Foolish Hound of Hellfire and the Weeping Cat

The Hound of hell arose to lick his sores. “It was not so… it was not once like this,” he panted, fears of hellfire stabbing him like molten crosses. He crawled a pace or two, and panted. A licking on…

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Posted in Human Interest

Your Greatest Weakness May be Your Greatest Strength

CATCH THE JOY MACHINE PROJECT IN 2018! FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Indie Poem Special! Best of Wallace’s Poetry on Patreon… REVOLUTION! (By Richard Seltzer) Rap The Swamp (I): Four Edgy Odes to the Media &……

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Your Greatest Weakness May be Your Greatest Strength
Posted in Human Interest

It’s Not Just Theists Who Help the Homeless

I met a guy called Chris about a decade ago, at university; and he was very interested in some new projects of his. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Chapter 25: Just-So Stories (Honest Adolph, Volume III)…

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Posted in Human Interest Society

Is There a Hard-Headed Economic Case for Abandoning LGBTphobia?

Curious: have any governments or NGOs made the hard-headed economic case to other countries about not persecuting sexual minorities? I would imagine that certain prejudices, because they drive people into the underworld, have a detrimental economic effect. FIGHT THE FAKE…

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Posted in Human Interest

Empty Heart, Imperishably Creative Spirit (Joy Machine: Poetry & Meditations)

The gaping chasm in my heart is an endless, swirling void of creativity. And my destiny is also yours. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Forget the Man in the High Castle, there’s Only One… NEW BOOK!…

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Posted in Human Interest

Despair is the Only Fault that Cannot be Mended (Joy Machine: Poetry & Meditations)

More insights for my forthcoming 2018 Joy Machine project! There is forgiveness, and self-forgiveness For almost every human error and fault FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! The Superpower that Disempowers: Is it Time for a… Chapter…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Despair is the Only Fault that Cannot be Mended (Joy Machine: Poetry & Meditations)
Posted in Human Interest

Will Things Get Better Anytime Soon? (Joy Machine: Poetry & Meditations)

More insights for my forthcoming 2018 Joy Machine project! Don’t believe things will be better Don’t want to believe things will be better FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Rap The Swamp (I): Four Edgy Odes to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Will Things Get Better Anytime Soon? (Joy Machine: Poetry & Meditations)
Posted in Human Interest

Chesterton’s Frenzy (A Poem for the Joy Machine Project)

The hour has struck… FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! In Syria Did Cameron: An Ode to a Dynamic… Forget the Man in the High Castle, there’s Only One… Rap The Swamp (I): Four Edgy Odes to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Chesterton’s Frenzy (A Poem for the Joy Machine Project)
Posted in Human Interest

An Age of Cynicism? Or is this Every Age?

Sometimes, in a cynical and jaded age (so what else is new?) we turn away in disgust at simplicity, vulnerability, gentleness, sweetness, innocence. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Forget the Man in the High Castle, there’s…

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Posted in Human Interest

The Brotherhood of Evildoers (An Ode to the Empire of Misplaced Righteousness)

Cain is great O Cain is good! Join our ancient Brotherhood FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Several More IT Articles Tomorrow: Plus a Very… Chapter 1: See-Saw, Pan-On-The-Jaw (Honest Adolph… Forget the Man in the High…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Brotherhood of Evildoers (An Ode to the Empire of Misplaced Righteousness)
Posted in Human Interest

Exciting Interview Series Coming Soon! Lot of Thoughtful Satirists…

Just a quick heads-up here! A while back, I did some interviews with some satirists on the hot topics of satire, offence, and freedom of speech. We have: FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Freedom of Speech,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Exciting Interview Series Coming Soon! Lot of Thoughtful Satirists…
Posted in Human Interest

Don Augusto and the Milky Way

Don Augusto will visit you in your dreams, if you are not careful! FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Don Augusto Rejoins the Heterosexual Community Cognac in Southwark (Don Augusto’s Limits to Progress) Chapter 6: I Can…

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Posted in Education Human Interest

The ‘That’s What You Heard!’ Fallacy: How Postmodernists & SJWs Try to Run Rings Around Rational People

It’s very important not to waste time debating postmodernists; because, like other morally corrupt and nihilistic ideological extremists, they don’t believe in rational argumentation; only rhetoric. Some of them even say so! FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The ‘That’s What You Heard!’ Fallacy: How Postmodernists & SJWs Try to Run Rings Around Rational People
Posted in Human Interest

Don Augusto Rejoins the Heterosexual Community

Soho is a nice place to relax and let it all hang out. My heart was almost (but not quite) in my mouth, when I carelessly bumped bums with Don Augusto, outside an august leisure establishment, somewhere near-ish o’ Oxford…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Don Augusto Rejoins the Heterosexual Community
Whisky alcohol
Posted in Human Interest

Start the Day with Whiskey! (A Witty Ode to Man’s Best & Only Friend)

Like not a few men, I have a faithful love that I have never once betrayed; and I know that, for her part, she shall never leave my side. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Forget the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Start the Day with Whiskey! (A Witty Ode to Man’s Best & Only Friend)