Forbes new power list of top college majors for 2013 features a new, though unsurprising, field of study: Taking videos and pictures of the cutest cats you can find and then posting them online in excess.

This new category of videos and pictures, referred to as the Feline Arts in professional circles, took the web by storm in the late nineties and currently rates as the number one viewed/liked/hashtagged/forwarded genre online.

We had the opportunity to speak to John Havafurmouth, a student at St. Catherine’s University in Minnesota, just to get his insight and perspective in this growing field. Continue Reading

1. Set goals. This is probably the most important part in achieving them.

2. If you suck at something, give up. I know people say, “If at first you don’t succeed…” yada yada, but come on, do you want to be known as the guy or girl that succeeded at sucking? Just because you keep trying, doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to suck less. Continue Reading

I am writing this out of concern for the quality of hippies we have here in America at the moment.

The other day I overheard a small group of alternative types in a natural food store discussing how they were going to fly around the U.S. this summer.

Since when, I do ask, do hippies FLY other than when they have scored some particularly good dope? REAL hippies hitchhike or ride bikes or drive around in old VW vans that have seen more engine changes than Joan Collins has seen face lifts. Continue Reading

In one of the first truly bipartisan initiatives in recent memory, the 113th US Congress voted overwhelmingly this morning to award the innovator of the “yoga pants in public” women’s fashion trend with the nation’s highest civilian honor, the Congressional Medal of Freedom.

Yoga pants left the gym in early 2012 and emerged as an everyday fashion item. The skin-tight garments can be seen from the supermarket to the runway and are especially popular on college campuses. Continue Reading

From my daily observations I’ve notice that when young women have recently picked up new boyfriends, and they go to house parties, where there are other young women, they always hold on tightly to their boyfriends as if they are clutching on to a Coach bag, trembling from anxiety around other young women who look to them like stick up kids carrying automatic rifles with silencers on their barrels.

These young women who have young boyfriends will die before they give up their newly found purchases. It doesn’t matter if they discovered their boyfriends on the street corner laying on a raggedy blanket or if they ordered their men from Amazon with overnight shipping on a discount or if they met these guys at a coffee shop on a rainy afternoon. Continue Reading

VATICAN CITY- Allegations arose today as some parents of affected children have come out and told reporters about the lack of abuse shown to their children, directly correlated to Pope Francis.

“When he kisses them, it’s on their forehead, and always followed by a blessing or a prayer,” says one Catholic watchdog reporter. “It’s unlike anything we have ever seen before. Benedict at least had that Nazi youth look in his eye when he was around children, with this guy, there’s nothing.” Continue Reading

Hey all you manly men out there, if you want to avoid landing yourself in the dog house listen up. Over the years, I have said and done some pretty stupid things to earn some couch time.

Since I dole out great advice I figured I would share some tips to ensure you will stay out of the dog house and still get some action, if you catch my drift. The following is 10 ten things you should never ever say or do to your blushing bride. Continue Reading

If you’ve ever been in a relationship that was good, but not great, you surely know the feeling… why not just end it?

Turns out there’s an easy way to do it. Just insult the unholy b’jeebers out of your partner, share one final night of hateful, ugly, regret sex, and call it good enough.

This comic illustrates one way to do exactly that, though prices and participation may vary. Continue Reading

INDIANAPOLIS – Attempting to pay a past due balance on his cell phone bill Monday, Indianapolis resident Patrick Overton spent the better part of this afternoon, which could otherwise have been devoted to finally getting around to fixing that shed door or chilling with his best friend Michael, pressing 9 for more options.

In what he imagined would be nothing more than a two-minute phone conversation, the 36-year-old, who ordinarily makes his payments online, found himself making multiple calls to his phone provider WirelessPlus before he even advanced to the secondary menu options. Continue Reading

GOSHEN – Celebrating her 107th birthday recently, centenarian Gladys Cadwell admitted Friday that, by golly, she is not that same, zesty 89-year-old she once was.

Waxing philosophical about those grand old times of 18 years ago, Cadwell conceded that she truly misses some of those wild days down at the bingo hall with Willa Morgan and Spike Jeffries, God rest their crazy souls. Continue Reading

Don’t worry everybody–world-wide* acclaimed blogger and self-published publisher/self-editor/self-writer/self-artist, Mark Krotzchety (pronounced “Krotzchety”), wants you to know that he’s finally got his nagging compulsions under control.

Apparently, he’s organized everything into a master calendar. Continue Reading

Dear Dink,

I am a Baptist. My in-laws and my husband are Methodists. My husband and I attend a Baptist church. Under most circumstances, I don’t pay attention to denominational differences, because I think we’re all going to the same place anyway.

The problem is that my in laws, especially my mother-in-law, have made it clear that they don’t like the fact that we’re going to the “wrong” church. Earlier we even suggested that they could come to church on Christmas Eve with us, and my mother-in-law burst into tears and ran out of the room. Continue Reading

My boys had their first Pinewood Derby. As I sat there it dawned on me what’s really being taught; all the ugliness of life in one 7-ounces block of resentment.

My older son had what I can charitably describe as a cross between a rocket and a racecar in the form of one slightly rounded block. It’s not his fault, he’s worse at woodworking than his old man, and we really don’t own any appropriate tools. Continue Reading

Terror in Italy this morning as hundreds of Catholic priests descend upon the Vatican. Italian Mister of Defense Giampaolo di Paola has imposed a strict curfew and parents are being encouraged to keep their children indoors until the threat has passed.

Authorities are uncertain of the cause of the sudden swarm of holy men but it appears to have something to do with replacing their recently deposed leader. Continue Reading

A new study released by Barvard University shows a startling shift in the demographics of the United States from predominantly white to now overwhelmingly Filipina.

The report reveals that Filipina women now comprise 59 percent of the population, dwarfing the totals of all countries, including the Philippines itself. Continue Reading

Florida native and longtime saltwater angler, Clayton Moore, announced to friends this afternoon that, due to his recent purchase of a fly rod, he is now a better fisherman than they are.

“I’ve suspected it for a while but when I bought that fly rod it just hit me. I am without a doubt a superior angler to anyone that uses conventional tackle.” Continue Reading