Postmen’s Union Decry Canine Attacks

Postmen’s Union Decry Canine Attacks

16 October 2009 01:04 - by Rusty

Police do not take pet animal attacks on postal delivery workers seriously enough, irate union leaders told press hacks during their annual Christmas piss-up at Smegmadale’s Fighting Dog and Pikey pub. The claim comes after postman Sheldon Scrunt suffered severe injuries when he was savaged by two supposedly-tame man-eating Komodo dragons while delivering a batch […]

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Posted in Human Interest2 Comments

Disturbing Sexual Trend Gives Kids New Place To Stick It

Disturbing Sexual Trend Gives Kids New Place To Stick It

15 October 2009 01:16 - by Septimus03

Columbus, OH – A mother and daughter wait in a sterile examining room. The daughter shifts uncomfortably on the crinkly paper sheet atop the standard issue table bed. The news from the doctor is grim: the girl may never hear again. “What?” the girl replies. It’s like the punch line to a cruel joke, but […]

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Posted in Health2 Comments

Personalised Plates Hit for Homophobia

Personalised Plates Hit for Homophobia

15 October 2009 01:18 - by Rusty

A score of “offensive” vehicle registration plates have been withdrawn from a Smegmashire DVLA auction as they might well fall under the politically-incorrect categories of ‘homophobic’, ‘sexist’, racist’ or ‘anarchist’ and breach one or another of the new European Fascist Federation’s legion of Prohibited 666 Offences Act 2009 laws.

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Posted in Society, Strange People1 Comment

Daffy Political Correctness Bans Children’s Stories

Daffy Political Correctness Bans Children’s Stories

15 October 2009 01:06 - by Rusty

The opening words of the age-old children’s nursery rhyme ”What shall we do with the drunken sailor?” have been removed from the lyrics in yet another of the Labour government’s stupid EU-compliance nanny state “Let’s re-write history” projects. The Bonkers Publishing charity says the re-wording of the rhyme from “drunken sailor” to “depressed pirate” simply […]

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment1 Comment

Air India Title Fight – Pilots vs Cabin Crew

Air India Title Fight – Pilots vs Cabin Crew

14 October 2009 06:52 - by Rusty

Further scandal hits basket case Air India with news that pilots and cabin crew manning an international flight bound for Dehli got into an argument then deserted the cockpit and engaged in a fist-flinging free-for-all punch up in front of terrified passengers as the aircraft flew on – in a generalised Easterly direction – into […]

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Posted in Society, Travel2 Comments

America’s Health Insurers Blow Millions on High Priced Hook

America’s Health Insurers Blow Millions on High Priced Hook

14 October 2009 04:25 - by P. Beckert

Just when you thought America’s health insurance companies couldn’t kick us any harder in the collective ass, comes the news that the insurance industry has paid coo-coo bucks for a study which says that if the present proposed health care bill is passed through legislation, it will be the cause for existing insurance premiums to […]

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Posted in Health, Politics2 Comments

UK Stimulus Requires Peasants to Get Booze Licences

UK Stimulus Requires Peasants to Get Booze Licences

14 October 2009 01:24 - by Rusty

In what may well prove to be the most stupid law to be introduced since their last stupid law caused a public outcry and political brouhaha the EU’s fascist ‘Triple Six’ Department for Total Control has decided – in their infinite wisdom – that in a time wasting bid to curb binge drinking, all boozers […]

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Posted in Biz News, Human Interest0 Comments

Egyptian Student Skips Homework, Beaten on the Knuckles, Chest, Skull

Egyptian Student Skips Homework, Beaten on the Knuckles, Chest, Skull

13 October 2009 07:49 - by Rusty

An Egyptian court has sentenced a schoolteacher to 300 hours of community service work for beating a pupil to death because he had not done his homework. Maths teacher Atilla bin Atwatt threw the 15 year-old schoolboy out of the third floor classroom window as an example, to impress on other pupils their responsibility to […]

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Society2 Comments

Stocks Soar on Good News: Foreclosure-Related Suicide Hits All Time High

Stocks Soar on Good News: Foreclosure-Related Suicide Hits All Time High

13 October 2009 06:13 - by Fuzzy Duffy

New York, NY – Stocks surged in early trading today on news from the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta that the rate of suicide in the United States directly attributable to the foreclosure on victims homes reached an all time high in the first half of 2009. “This is an encouraging sign for the […]

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Posted in Biz News3 Comments

Bliar Gets Pariah Treatment from Grieving (Germaphobic?) Father

Bliar Gets Pariah Treatment from Grieving (Germaphobic?) Father

13 October 2009 05:45 - by Rusty

A father’s grief boiled over yesterday into a furious rage when he came face to face with the man blamed for his son’s death. Ex-UK Slime Minister Tony Bliar offered the handshake of condolence during a reception at a London Chew and Spew fast food outlet following a memorial service at St Sappho’s Cathedral to […]

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Posted in War Zone3 Comments

Bigwigs Hit by Wickedpedia Attacks

Bigwigs Hit by Wickedpedia Attacks

12 October 2009 05:17 - by Rusty

Did David Cameron’s father buy him the Conservative Party? No, he only bought him a 51% majority share. Has Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg slept with 3,000 women? Absolutely not – it’s more like 2,350 women, 522 men, and a mix of 180 transvestites and she-males, usually for a three at a time all-night cluster-fuck […]

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment, Technology3 Comments

MySpace Facebook Merger? Like. MyFace. Dude.

MySpace Facebook Merger? Like. MyFace. Dude.

12 October 2009 04:22 - by BobZaguy

DownUnder, Australia —This just-leaked domain name logo is the result of a recent unannounced, very, very secret almost-for-sure merger between FaceBook and MySpace and it’s going to be called Like.MyFace. The use of the word ‘like’ in the domain name is to call special attention to their ownership of the most used word in the […]

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Posted in Internets Tubes1 Comment

Dodgy Deviant Gets Ceo Position, As Expected

Dodgy Deviant Gets Ceo Position, As Expected

12 October 2009 01:17 - by Rusty

The New Labour government’s childcare watchdog Ofsted has been heavily criticised by every bugger and their dog after appointing a dodgy deviant official – once embroiled in a notorious paedophile scandal – to a senior post in the organisation. The Office for Standards in Education, Children’s Services and Skills has named Willie McScum as its […]

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Posted in Crime2 Comments

Israeli War Criminals – the New Nazis?

Israeli War Criminals – the New Nazis?

11 October 2009 01:52 - by Rusty

Israel’s Chief Minister for Genocidal Activities and former head honcho of the IDF’s ‘Brutal Thug’ Brigade – General Moshe ‘Boogie’ Slimeberg – canceled a recent visit to the UK due fears he would be summarily arrested on war crimes charges, according to the Knesset’s Office for Black Propaganda & Anti-Semitic Whingeing.

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Posted in Top Stories, War Zone0 Comments

Ask Hank: My Lousy Husband

Ask Hank: My Lousy Husband

11 October 2009 08:49 - by

Dear Hank, I’m a happily married 48 year old woman with a wonderful husband and five great kids. But something’s bothering me. For the last six months my husband has been coming home late several nights a week with liquor on his breath, his suit disheveled, lipstick stains on his shirt, and nasty looking welts […]

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Posted in Society2 Comments

UN Official Fired – For Telling Truth

UN Official Fired – For Telling Truth

11 October 2009 04:17 - by Rusty

The top UN official recently fired from his post for the unforgivable crime of telling the truth and criticising Afghanistan’s presidential election has publicly castigated the entire UN mission in the country. Peter Galbraith informed the Neo-Colonial Gazette the $300 zillion per annum mission – employing several thousand personnel – is now “leaderless” and summed […]

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories2 Comments



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