What do you get when you combine a female-favored programming style like “soap operas,” with manly subject matter like “gangsters?” You get HBO’s The Sopranos, which sent competitors to sleep with the fishes for the six seasons it ruled Sunday nights. Taking a page from HBO’s playbook, Starz has invested heavily in what they call “original transgendered programming” (and then quickly retitled “Ladies and Mens Entertainment” (L.A.M.E.) after “transgendered” caused some confusion). Continue Reading

MediaWatch has concluded a study asking cable news media hosts to rate their performance in reporting on the debt ceiling talks in Washington.

A whopping 67% of MSNBC hosts believe they have pushed the envelope too far and are fearful that once the debt ceiling crisis has fully wound down, without having inflicted the kind of pain predicted, they will all be seen as Chicken Littles.

In fact, Rachel Maddow is so mad at herself, she’s not been able to step in front of the camera this week at all except to make more dam commercials for MSNBC. Continue Reading

Los Angeles – GlossyNews.com – Oceanic Airlines has announced plans to institute a surcharge ranging from $5.00 to $57.50 for passengers transporting books which exhibit existential angst, says company spokesperson Macine Galvertson.

“In the future a hefty surcharge will be levied upon those passengers transporting heavy works of philosophy on board our airplanes,” she says. “In particular, passengers bringing onboard works of extreme existential angst will be subject to surcharges, the exact amount depending upon the particular philosophical work in question.” Continue Reading

Akron, Ohio – GlossyNews.com – Ralph McFarden spent thirty years in the Sacramento sewer system. The waste engineer reportedly had a long and satisfying career with the Akron Waste Management Department before finally retiring to his modest home overlooking the North Akron Shopping Plaza last Monday. But fate had a nasty trick up its sleeve for this quiet pensioner. Continue Reading

NEW YORK, NY —Glossy News Dumpster diving in New York City the other day brought up this quite wrinkled but interesting tidbit – a résumé cover letter to:
Top Mama Grizzly A. Huffington; cc: T. Armstrong — AOL
From: First Mama Grizzly S. Palin®
Re: Senior Executive Vice President position for AOL Mama Grizzlies Continue Reading

LOS ANGELES, CALIF – Charlie Sheen paraphernalia has exploded onto the American public since the actor’s Two and a Half Men firing and interview antics, featuring such memorable quotes as “I have tiger’s blood,” and “I’m an F-18, bro!”

Now online merchandisers are offering Charlie Sheen bumper stickers, t-shirts, book bags, and keychains. Reportedly, an artificial insemination service now features “Adonis semen,” while a Russion wife-finding service has started offering “goddess pairs” at a 10% discount. Continue Reading

Piers Morgan recently took over the top spot on CNN when he replaced Larry King and the Larry King Live show with his own Piers Morgan Tonight. Following the entertainment route of Ryan Seacrest, he’s now setting his sites on each and every opening in the entire industry, coast to coast. Continue Reading

What would have happened if Simon Cowell, the inspiration and chief executioner for the wildly popular American Idol show had been around to judge the big stars of American music before they became legends.

Just how many of them would have survived the gauntlet of his withering criticism? I think many would have curled up under his sarcasm like slugs deluged by salt and withered away. Continue Reading

Isaac Newton once observed, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” The truth of that is seldom seen more clearly than in the rough and tumble of American politics. And so it was this week as Tea Party activists launched candlelight vigils to return Keith Olbermann to the airwaves.

MSNBC’s unexpected removal of Olbermann from its prime time lineup is seen by many as a direct attack on Conservatives, and in the words of one Atlanta, GA protester “a damned dirty trick.” Continue Reading

Nashville, TN-After spending years exercising her First Amendment rights to encourage the murder of someone who wasn’t a “real American,” Sarah Palin’s media career has taken a turn for the worse after several real Americans were murdered by an anti-government kook.

The unflappable Palin, feverishly working on her big comeback, is working in a Nashville booby bar, the next stop after her recent spread in Hustler magazine, for which she was reportedly paid a whopping $127.50, which was about what Larry Flynt thought she was worth. Continue Reading

A New Jersey mother, who previously dressed her 2-year old daughter in Wonder Woman and Madonna outfits complete with pointy cones, is taking more heat for the latest costume her now 3-year old daughter will be wearing in next season’s Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC.

When asked how she could possibly top dressing her daughter as a sexy super hero or over-the-top pop performer who made wearing lingerie on stage an everyday thing, Lorraine “Lala” Loopier (pronounced Loo-pee-ay) said that when you have a gorgeous little blonde daughter with “the look,” the sky is the limit. Continue Reading

So here’s something fun and weird. Montel Williams was cited by the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office for possession of a marijuana pipe at the airport in Milwaukee. But is it strange that he had the pipe, that he was flying, or that he was in Milwaukee?

The ever-helpful TSA allegedly nabbed the erstwhile talk show host as he went through security with what they described as a metal pipe commonly used to smoke marijuana. And if anyone should know, it would be them, being total delinquents themselves.

If it was me, I’d have thought it was a bike pump or a medical device, as Montel described it. Well, he called it a joint replacement, so take that however you like.

Montel apparently tried to bring the micro-bong in his carry on luggage, but it was caught by the ever-diligent pretards at security screening.

Cops admit there was no detectible residue on the pipe, but sources close to Mr. Williams insist that it’s only because he uses his slim, lizard tongue, to lick out every last microgram of THC.

Police were indifferent to the fact that Mr. Williams uses medical marijuana to treat his Multiple Sclerosis (MS), and stated that, “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck; the black guy is a criminal.”

Despite repeatedly being noticed as black, the police showed remarkable restraint in their decision not to taze him, hold him on the ground and kick him viciously in the head, despite promising to do so if he failed to stop being black.

It’s been reported that Williams was released after paying a $484 citation (in cash or paternity testing vouchers) for possession of drug paraphernalia, even though the drug in question was most likely prescribed to him legally by his doctor.

After dispatching Conan O’Brien from the helm of “The Tonight Show”, Jay Leno returned triumphant months ago, only to be confronted by the heckling ghost of Johnny Carson, apparently still haunting the late-night set. Appearing nightly for months during Leno’s monologue, the apparition is obviously taking a toll on Leno’s timing…not that Leno’s timing was that tight to begin with. Continue Reading

The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences Committee has nominated the Republican Party for a special judges Oscar this year, ‘Best Act Put On By A Political Organization.’

Mrs. Tallulah Bankaccount, head of the board overseeing nominations, stated “The Republican Party has for decades put on a show of pretending to be in harmony with the interests of democracy while actually gutting all rules of checks and balances and concentrating power towards their interests. They have also taken upon themselves an incredible aura of religiosity while actually harboring some of the worst conniving hypocrites around. Continue Reading

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. We heard somebody named Juan Williams got fired from NPR and wanted to get the real story. Because the excuse that was given, well? Gringos are a little off in the cabeza, but that just didn’t make sense. He said that seeing a bunch of Muslims in traditional outfits on a plane makes him nervous, and he gets fired? Continue Reading

A bizarre plot has been uncovered that is sending chills down the spines of many liberals, free thinkers and political independents. A leaked memo from the highest levels of FOX News to leaders of the top ultra conservative movements reveals that a plot is underfoot to unleash millions of mentally altered FOX ‘Frankenfans’ upon all Americans who are at all left of center in the political realm. Continue Reading