Archive | Television

End of the Gay Dinosaurs: Fox News Steals the March on Glossy News!

End of the Gay Dinosaurs: Fox News Steals the March on Glossy News!

What do Fox News folks think about homosexuality and the end of the dinosaurs? Will male-on-male love bring about the end of the human species, just as it ended the reign of the dinosaurs?

Bill O’Reilly

Well, who’s to say? I don’t know. Maybe they just got gay-feminist-transdarwinist-cultural-marxist-crony-socialist-union-thug-gun-hating-dino-flu.

I mean, hell, I’m just throwing that one out there! I never said I had all the answers.

Glenn Beck

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Posted in Science, Television0 Comments

BBC Try to Stop Offending Islamic State… & All the Other Ones Too! (2/2)

BBC Try to Stop Offending Islamic State… & All the Other Ones Too! (2/2)

Here is more pitiful bien-pensant claptrap from the BBC, following their recent flamboyantly privileged nitpicking over the term ‘Islamic State.’

The ‘Republicains’ of Sarkozy are now the ‘soi-disant Republicans,’ because some members of other parties believe that they are the true inheritors of ‘la Republique.’

BBC journalists must never speak of the Lega Nord, because the Lega Nord cannot speak for all northern Italians. Anyway, where does the North end and the South begin?

The Republican party cannot be called the GOP, because the Democrats are also fairly ‘Great’ and ‘Old.’ And you can also probably guess why some Republicans have convinced the BBC to speak of the ‘so-called Democrats.’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Television0 Comments

BBC Try to Stop Offending Islamic State… & All the Other Ones Too! (1/2)

BBC Try to Stop Offending Islamic State… & All the Other Ones Too! (1/2)

The BBC, inspired and encouraged by their recent decision to rename Daesh ‘The So-called Islamic State’ (Sinister-Teutonic-Capitals ahoy!) have invented some new equally patronizing euphemisms in order to talk down to non-Muslims too.

For a start, they are referring to the ‘So-Called Worker’s Party of North Korea,’ in order to prove they have nothing against actual workers in North Korea who don’t like the Pyongyang dictatorship.

And their preconceptions regarding Taiwanese nationalists have also driven them to speak of the ‘So-called Chinese Communist Party.’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Television, World News0 Comments

The Best and Worst Celebrity Commercials

The Best and Worst Celebrity Commercials

Celebrity endorsements have the power to make or break a brand. Choose the right hunk in tight trousers and an inability to remember where he left his t-shirt and you’ll shift bottles of aftershave. Similarly, choose an international star like Sylvester Stallone, take him out of his Hollywood mansion, fly him to a small northern town in England and make him pretend to love bread and you can take your brand to new heights.

Of course, celebrity endorsements and commercials don’t always hit the mark. In fact, sometimes the use of a certain “star” can lead the online world’s trusty flock of easily offended Twitter lovers to crow about the injustice of celebrity X being used as a marketing tool. Continue Reading

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Posted in Talky Pictures, Television0 Comments

UKIP’S Tarquin Gloriously Vindicated on Dumbing-Up of TV

UKIP’S Tarquin Gloriously Vindicated on Dumbing-Up of TV

Not long ago, we brought you the uncommonsensically-sound-British views of UKIP’s Tarquin Binnett, in relation to Channel 5’s recent scandalous decision to maliciously disdain to plumb ever-new-and-greasier depths.

Our Tarkie, for once in his life, was deeply bilious, in relation to a radical and utterly unprecedented civilizational decline.

Yes, that’s right. Channel 5 had the flaming cheek to stop churning out meaningless, trivial bollocks…

For a whole uncharacteristically tedious and monotone 24 hours! Continue Reading

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Posted in Television, World News0 Comments

Outrageous UK Scandal: Channel 5 Doesn’t Plumb New Depths

Outrageous UK Scandal: Channel 5 Doesn’t Plumb New Depths

Not long ago, Channel 5 pulled its most outrageous publicity stunt yet.

For a single 24-hour period, the Channel refused to show any horrendous reality TV shows…

Nor any freaky scare stories on pig liposuction/experimental bollock transplants/bowel surgeons with overactive fingers/amateur self-castration gone wrong…

Nor indeed any more (purportedly) amusing anecdotes about vicious Albanian axe-murderers, sneaky Hungarian cider thieves and dastardly Romanian street-Ponzi warriors. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Television0 Comments

Jerry Seinfeld Injured Filming ‘Comedians In Cars’

Jerry Seinfeld Injured Filming ‘Comedians In Cars’

Branson, MO. – Jerry Seinfeld, former network star, was involved in an auto accident while filming an episode of “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee” in Branson, Missouri. According to the Branson Police Department five people, including Mr. Seinfeld and guest comedian Yakov Smirnoff, suffered minor injuries.

Now entering its’ fifth season the up and coming cable show has nearly exhausted A, B, and C talent to interview.
Mr. Seinfeld had flown into Branson on short notice when Kathy Griffin bowed out of the show at the last minute to appear at a store opening in Bakersfield, California.

According to his publicist, Mr. Seinfeld, 61, enlisted Mr. Smirnoff, known for his cold war ‘What a Country’ ramblings, and was forced to go to Branson where Mr. Smirnoff was scheduled to perform. Following a long and turbulent flight Mr. Seinfeld’s choices of vintage cars, often used in his opening, were limited and he ended up driving a 1987 Ford Aerostar mini van.

After six cups of ‘nearly toxic coffee’ at a local bait shop, Mr. Seinfeld and Mr. Smirnoff drove around Branson for almost three hours looking for an Acura automobile, the shows sponsor that is displayed in every episode. Not finding any Acura, let alone a late model version, Mr. Seinfeld become disoriented and drove up the sidewalk at a local Piggly Wiggly store striking three shoppers before crashing into an outdoor display of pork rinds.

Mr. Seinfeld was overheard complaining that the combination of jet lag, an inability to understand a word the heavily accented Mr. Smirnoff had said the entire day and the lack of a delicatessen in town all contributed to his misfortune.

According to someone at the scene as Mr. Seinfeld walked off he was calling in a high pitch voice for ‘George, Kramer and someone named Elaine’, although no one had any idea who they may be.
Another witness also mentioned that after looking at Mr. Seinfeld’s license, a local state trooper was heard to say that ‘Oh, this is what a New York Jew looks like’.

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Posted in Entertainment, Television, Top Stories0 Comments

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain “bad folks” pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he’s not been shy to get to the root of the problem.

Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If we are going to let all these, you know, these hooomoseeexual atheiiists, you know, if we tolerate them, let them work in our public facilities and business corporations….

Well, you’ve probably heard it before, but I’m gonna tell you, because it’s the truth, and it bears repeating. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Television0 Comments

Pregnant Bristol Palin to Replace Wheel of Fortune’s Vanna White

Pregnant Bristol Palin to Replace Wheel of Fortune’s Vanna White

In an unprecedented move that’s shocked the television world, Wheel of Fortune has replaced its long standing hostess Vanna White and named Bristol Palin her temporary replacement.

The move comes after a series of contract disagreements between White and ABC over salary issues and bonuses.

Vanna White has been Wheel of Fortune’s official letter turner since 1982 but recent negotiations between White’s agent and ABC collapsed late Friday, leaving the popular game show suddenly without anyone to reveal the letters to their puzzles. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television2 Comments

Australia’s Latest Doggygate Scandal: A Land Without Biebers (2/2)

Australia’s Latest Doggygate Scandal: A Land Without Biebers (2/2)

The moment Fatima and Bieber landed in Alessi Exile Airport in Bishop’s Kennedy, Queensland…

A lawless horde of vicious, beer-swilling, assless-police-uniforms-and-cowboy-hats-porting, official-public-order-batons-wielding bogans descended upon Fatima and Bieber! Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Television0 Comments

Australia’s Latest Doggygate Scandal: A Land Without Biebers (1/2)

Australia’s Latest Doggygate Scandal: A Land Without Biebers (1/2)

A few days ago, Johnny Depp finally threw his cutlass out of the pram about being threatened last month by the unaccountable Canberra/E-Street/Ramsay Street/Ramsbottom Street/Summer Bay/Richmond Hill regime:

http://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/celebrity/johnny-depp-amber-heard-avoid-australia-after-dog-threat-n379546 Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Television0 Comments

Bill Maher Banned (Again)… But Why?

Bill Maher Banned (Again)… But Why?

Notable public figure Bill Maher has been banned from several notable clothes retail chains in the entire slick, coastal, metro part of the USA…

For making some provocative and inflammatory comments about a moderate political Islamist™ in Pakistan who says women resemble sacks of flour.

Yup! His Most Exalted Even-More-Moderate-Than-Moderate-Taliban-ness says that every one of the integral synthetic components of the female community should be treated in keeping with the most noble and exalted station he himself envisages for them…

When he is high on crystal meth funded from the proceeds of his illegal kindergarten-bombing Ponzi scheme. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Television0 Comments

Un-aired Original Series Star Trek Discovered! True Origin of Actual Series Revealed!

Un-aired Original Series Star Trek Discovered! True Origin of Actual Series Revealed!

A long lost Kirk/Spock vintage Star Trek episode that never aired has turned up in a forgotten vault at Paramount Studios.

“The Deflowering” was a 1967 show featuring all the beloved and famous characters who made the show such an unforgettable sci-fi icon. Unfortunately its subject matter made it a no-show on that eras airwaves.

It was about sex. Too much sex. Continue Reading

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Posted in Television0 Comments

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

The Apocalypse is close at hand. The signs of the times are showing themselves. I am sure that there is a verse in Revelations that says “…and verily all the good comedians will leave the scene and only darkness shall thereafter be manifest…”.

Jon Stewart, primary televised purveyor of jokes and satirist extraordinaire for the entire western hemisphere has announced that he will be leaving his job at The Daily Show sometime this year. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Television0 Comments

Publication of “The Brian Williams Story” Nixed

Publication of “The Brian Williams Story” Nixed

Excerpts from “The Brian Williams Story”, a rumored biography that will now apparently never see print:

November 9, 1989
“All I can say is that it was an honor and a thrill to be the only major American news anchor on site when the Berlin Wall fell. It was a combination of good luck and astute planning that put me there that night so that I could report this major event back home to our NBC viewing audience. Or maybe it was Tom Brokaw. The important thing is that we were there.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Television0 Comments

Banned Fiat Super Bowl Commercial Raised Eyebrows, Hackles

Banned Fiat Super Bowl Commercial Raised Eyebrows, Hackles

‘Tis the season when marketers go the extra mile and even passive fans stick to their TVs, even if just to watch the commercials.

Fiat ran a clever commercial this year, but it was nothing close to the one they originally wanted to show.

Italians, man. I can’t speak directly to their cars, marketing or choice in leading ladies, but I can say this was a pretty clever ad in its original form. Continue Reading

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Posted in Television, Video News0 Comments

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