Archive | Entertainment

Millions Worldwide Mourn The End Of The Golden Age Of The Internet

Millions Worldwide Mourn The End Of The Golden Age Of The Internet

It was a demise that many have seen coming for a long time.

It is a tragedy whose full impact will not be noticed for a while to come.

All things of great worth that are brought into this world go through a cycle- a difficult and long birth, a formative period where it is ignored, misunderstood and its virtues recognized by few, then an ascendance and acceptance by the more intelligent and fore-sighted in society, then an adaption to the masses that makes it widely accepted; hesitantly at first, becoming more so as it becomes less of a mystery, then wildly enthusiastically with throngs raving of its wonders and putting down hard cash and imbuing long hours in use of it. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Internets Tubes1 Comment

Yeezus Punishes Kanye West for Taking His Own Name in Vain

Yeezus Punishes Kanye West for Taking His Own Name in Vain

Yeezus, master of all universes, creator of light and darkness which thrives upon us has blamed and punished the innocent Kanye West for criticizing him in a public ceremony after calling him a “no good, dirty piece of shit” and “a disgrace to hip-hop music, if hip-hop was considered music.”

Yeezuits attending the ceremony had to escort Kanye out of the church building and into his vehicle, a 2014 Kim Sluté. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment0 Comments

Cantankerous Collaborator Steven Colbert to Take Over for Lame Liberal Lefty Letterman

Cantankerous Collaborator Steven Colbert to Take Over for Lame Liberal Lefty Letterman

The ultimate traitor, Steven Colbert, has sold his soul and gone over to the dark side of the Force.
In signing a deal with CBS, probably with a pinprick and a signature in blood, he has given up his proud conservative legacy for filthy lucre.

Once a true leader and outspoken critic on all things evil and liberal in our pure Aryan society (evil and liberal being the same thing), he has now turned into a horse of another color when offered a shot at fame and fortune. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television0 Comments

Who Leaked Jennette McCurdy Nude Selfies? The Answer May Surprise You

Who Leaked Jennette McCurdy Nude Selfies? The Answer May Surprise You

Jennette McCurdy, the 21-year-old star of Nickelodeon’s Sam and Cat and iCarly is making headlines not fit for her Nickelodeon audience. Nudey headlines.

Several more semi-nude selfies have been leaked to the media, and we do mean leaked. The glossy 8×10′s were literally dripping with salaciousness when they arrived in our P.O. Box.

In them, the waifish blonde poses seductively on her bed dressed only in what appears to be whipped cream, sweat, and an unknown substance that may or may not be Nickelodeon’s famous green slime, but in a cloudy, whitish color. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip4 Comments

Millionaire tricks CNN into stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane

Millionaire tricks CNN into stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane

Dateline: ATLANTA—Elderly oddball millionaire, Huey Longbottom, shuns the internet and receives all of his news from CNN, but taking no interest in the missing Malaysian plane, which CNN has covered exhaustively for several weeks, Longbottom orchestrated several bizarre spectacles to garner CNN’s attention and entice the news channel to exchange its lead story.
Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Making Headlines, Television0 Comments

Glossy News March Winners Announced

Glossy News March Winners Announced

For reasons unknown, we’re still running the $250 satire contest for our writers. Here are your March winners.

The Top Ten

#10 – Facing Extinction, Olive Garden Traces Dinosaur’s Demise For Answers by FreeMann. Just goes to show that sometimes breadsticks can indeed be funny. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Internets Tubes7 Comments

Original Cast of Jaws Reunites for Breadsterastyx, Adds Eddie Murphy

Original Cast of Jaws Reunites for Breadsterastyx, Adds Eddie Murphy

Hollywood, California – In an exciting turn of events on Thursday, DreamWorks Studios announced that it has finished filming a new movie in honor of the fallen Olive Garden restaurant chain and the prehistoric dinosaur that started it all, Breadsterastyx.

“It’s a great opportunity for us to be able to finally portray this delicious animal on the big screen,” said Director Steven Spielberg, who loved working alongside Actor Richard Dreyfuss nearly 40 years after filming the thriller, Jaws. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment, Talky Pictures5 Comments

Lady Gaga Responds To Criticism Over Head Defecation Stunt

Lady Gaga Responds To Criticism Over Head Defecation Stunt

The Internet exploded with criticism Friday after a performance by Lady Gaga at the NSFW Music Festival in Winslow, Arizona, in which a homeless man wet defecated on her head.

Gaga was premiering the title track to her new album “Derelique” when halfway through the song Gaga sat on the stage and a pantless, dirty man in tattered clothing pulling a shopping cart straddled her head and oozed what appeared to be several gallons of a brown, chunky liquid over her head, face and body. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment, Music12 Comments

Satirists To Decide Comedic Value of Breadsticks

Satirists To Decide Comedic Value of Breadsticks

WILLOW GROVE, PENN. Satirists are gathering at a conference titled “This Article Is An Inside Joke” in Willow Grove this weekend to decide if breadsticks are inherently funny or only so when mentioned in the same sentence as “Olive Garden”.

“Breadsticks by their nature are humorous, just mention the word breadsticks and people laugh,” said Conference Chairperson Freeman Bradley Stix. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Internets Tubes16 Comments

Physicist Detects Origin of CBS Hit “The Big Bang Theory”

Physicist Detects Origin of CBS Hit “The Big Bang Theory”

CAMBRIDGE, MA – This week physicist Dr. George H. Gebbins finally pinpointed the very beginning of what has been called The Big Bang Theory, thanks to the detection of essentially a beam of light that has been traveling the universe for years.

“I’ve been following The Big Bang Theory for some time now, since I first heard it discussed around the dinner table at Thanksgiving. However, it felt like no one had ever been able to pinpoint the origin, leaving its entire nature a mystery,” said Gebbins. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science & Technologizzy, Television13 Comments

Cosmos Show embroiled in Legal Controversy with Churches

Cosmos Show embroiled in Legal Controversy with Churches

Dateline: LOS ANGELES—Dozens of churches in the United States are collectively suing the producers of Cosmos, the reboot of the television show previously hosted by Carl Sagan, for “stealing the Christian shtick.”

The filed complaint was obtained by the press and it alleges that the first episode of the show portrays Giordano Bruno as a Christ-like figure, while the second episode sanctifies the DNA molecule.
Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Religionism, Science, Television5 Comments

Mitch McConnell Ad Begs Mockery, Gets it in Spades #mcconnelling

Mitch McConnell Ad Begs Mockery, Gets it in Spades #mcconnelling

The internet fad of the week is #mcconnelling, a little game contrived on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. McConnell released a blank stock video of himself so his SuperPAC could later pretend they didn’t ask for it, but now it’s a thing of legend.

The original ad, featured in The Daily Show clip below, gives all the background you need. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Internets Tubes, Video News2 Comments

Oklahoma TV Station “Accidentally” Cuts 38-Minutes from Cosmos Evolution Episode

Oklahoma TV Station “Accidentally” Cuts 38-Minutes from Cosmos Evolution Episode

Last week, controversy erupted when the local FOX affiliate in Oklahoma City allegedly suffered technical difficulties during the only 14-seconds dealing with evolution. Perhaps the Lord moves in ways more mysterious than we’d imagined.

Host Neil DeGrasse Tyson explained that he believed it was a mistake, and that this week’s episode, which dealt almost exclusively with the issue of evolution, would put doubts aside for good, and he was right. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science & Technologizzy, Television10 Comments

Comedians debate the Nature of Satire

Comedians debate the Nature of Satire

Dateline: MONTREAL—Comedians gathered around an enormous round table at the World Comedy Festival to try to answer once and for all the perennial question of whether satire is supposed to be serious or funny.

According to the comedian Lawrence Flappapuss, satire is mainly about making people laugh. “Satirists make fun of things, so satire’s got to be funny,” he said. “Satire should be as funny as physical comedy. That’s why I combine the two in my act.”
Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Comics5 Comments

Weakest Lincoln: Thinkin’ or Not, Napolitano Craps Out

Weakest Lincoln: Thinkin’ or Not, Napolitano Craps Out

Fox News contributor Judge Andrew Napolitano appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart this week to strut his contrarian cred and ruffle some feathers. Problem is, he was just… plain… wrong.

It was great of him to appear on The Daily Show. It really humanized him in ways painfully few of the one-dimensional Fox News caricatures ever bother to. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics2 Comments

Miley Cyrus Quotes ‘Then’ and ‘Now’

Miley Cyrus Quotes ‘Then’ and ‘Now’

My, oh my, have times changed. Just a scant three years ago, Miley Cyrus quit the Disney Channel, and her role as Hannah Montana, to become America’s most-watched sex kitten. Talk about your quick-change artists.

We thought it would be fun to look back at some of Miley’s quotes, many made during her Hannah Montana years, and update them to give you a peep show of what the all-grown-up child star is up to these days.

MC Then: My mom is always telling me it takes a long time to get to the top, but a short time to get to the bottom. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip4 Comments

Page 1 of 5612345...102030...Last »
Check out our friends:
Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Glossy Exclusive Video: How Hot Dogs are REALLY Made
(Comment on this video here)
-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

15 posts
6 posts
3 posts
3 posts
2 posts
2 posts


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial