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Psst! By the Way, the Flâneurs are Coming… ;)

Psst! By the Way, the Flâneurs are Coming… ;)

Hm… I should probably be just that little bit sneaky and conveniently forget that I’ve already told you this, but:

I am setting the price of The Great Flâneur Massacre at $2.99. Hm…

Originally said ‘intended to set,’ but I’m trying to keep on your toes, like all good flâneur-professors say when their words are challenged ;)

I believe this is a fair price to pay for a first novella; particularly one which my esteemed colleagues at Glossy News weren’t prepared to turn their noses up at, when I published two samples!

I mean, these guys sure know their David Mitchell from their David Hassellhoff, or their Noel Gallagher from their… um, Gallagher. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Education0 Comments

My Novella. The Glorious Day of Epic Flâneurie Draws Ever Closer

My Novella. The Glorious Day of Epic Flâneurie Draws Ever Closer

Just yesterday I said:

My ebook novella The Great Flâneur Massacre will also be released on this date, for the princely and extravagant sum of just about $3!

Oof! I just don’t know how the hell I get away with such ruthless marketing tactics. 3 whole dollars for a mere novella that might just be the greatest thing since Swifted Jonathans! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

Update on The Great Flâneur Massacre: Plus Two Free Books!

Update on The Great Flâneur Massacre: Plus Two Free Books!

To celebrate my self-publishing of my first extended work of fiction, The Great Flâneur Massacre, I am providing two free gifts to past, present and future readers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

4K Glossy News Review – One Hour Weekly Podcast is LIVE!

4K Glossy News Review – One Hour Weekly Podcast is LIVE!

Today GlossyNews launches the official podcast.

Technology, jokes, religion, Double-D list celebrities and more all feature prominently, so for the love of web, give it at least a solid five minutes of attention.

Celebrity guests will only get bigger by the show, and the quality is climbing by the podisode, so check it out and subscribe! Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

The Jreat Gif Pronunciation Debate

The Jreat Gif Pronunciation Debate

There controversy over the pronunciation of the file type “.gif” is hotly contested, but there can only be one right answer.

Don’t ask Jeff, Geoff, Gary, Gerald, Jason, George or Jorge, but their anecdotal life experience means nothing to this debate.

There are no giraffes in Jurassic park, but you can buy a toy gun in the gift shop.

When Compuserve engineers invented the .gif file type, a small, animated image file, they made it clear exactly how it is meant to be pronounced. Well, not right away, but within a mere generation and a half. Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

Summer Worker Meets Famous Golfers, They’re Dicks

Summer Worker Meets Famous Golfers, They’re Dicks

College summer jobs in the service industry can haphazardly introduce the young to celebrities big and small.

Some celebrity jerk stories are obvious and believable, but others involve caricatures of characters who/which are down right unbelievable.

Hard to swallow, if you will.

This is a true story of one summer worker’s chance encounter with two of the biggest has-been celebrities in modern culture, and how they just didn’t live up to their reputations. Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Video News0 Comments

Berke Breathed Breathes Life Again Into Bloom County

Berke Breathed Breathes Life Again Into Bloom County

Berke Breathed, beloved cartoonist of the once greatly beloved cartoon Bloom County, has returned from the dead……

Oh…..

Wait a moment……he wasn’t actually dead……..

He only stopped making his cartoon for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!!

Bloom County, once one of the most syndicated cartoons in the US back in the 1980’s, will be soon be showing its multicolored face in the funny papers again.

Wildly amusing and wildly drawn the series followed the equally wild adventures of Milo Bloom, a lost penguin named Opus and his side kick Bill the Cat.

Bill the Cat……..

If there ever was a unique cartoon character to illuminate the Sunday paper it was Bill the Cat. Combine the worst elements of every American cartoon cat there has ever been going all the way back to Krazy Kat when newspapers were born and you would produce Bill the Cat. And, yes, that includes and surpasses Garfield.

Both Otis and Bill the Cat became icons of the 1980’s. Otis’s homely and lovelorn images graced many a number of plush and plastic toys, his protuberance jutting outward into prominence (I’M TALKING ABOUT HIS NOSE!!!!!!!!). Bill the Cat brought such manginess to the Sunday funnies that you were afraid to touch the paper for fear of getting ringworm.

One wonders why Breathed would return to his long forgotten cartoon after so many decades.

He says he was inspired by Donald Trump’s running for President.

????????????????????????????????(very pregnant pause)???????????????????????????????

OK………………………..

Well, it’s nice to know that something good came out of Trump’s announcement of his running, other than it messing up the Republican platform real good. Not that they don’t deserve him.

I can very much imagine the humorous potential the great orange haired one can inspire in an artist. Like Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead Breathed has risen Bloom County back from the deceased.

One has to wonder what Breathed has been up to the past 25 years.
Rumors abound:

One has it that he ran off with Brooke Shields to a desert island and had twenty five years of endless sex in paradise. Or that could have just been the plot of a movie I saw once.

Another said that he had joined a cult that lived underground in bunkers with elaborate tunnels going in all directions in preparation for any number of possible holocaustic disasters. He only quit when he found out the latest tunnel he was digging was to free Pablo Guzman.

Yet another said he joined the circus and performed as a lion taming clown trapeze artist, but gave it up because it never had the satisfying wildness that his cartoons had.

Then there is the rumor that he locked himself inside his one bedroom apartment watching endless reruns of Seinfeld, Bugs Bunny, the Twilight Zone and Ice Station Zebra while eating a steady diet of cheese puffs until he went quietly mad and realized that his only back to sanity was through his artistry.

Take your pick.

Either way, Trump barging full force upon the political scene threw some switches in his soul and brought him back to reality and to modern American civilization. Let’s just hope the 25 years of being lost will not be too much of a shock to him. We all use cell phones now Berke and Captain Kangaroo is no longer on TV.

So, welcome back Berke! Nice to see you again! Be sure to bring Bill the Cat and Opus along with you!

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New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet

New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet

Separation of Church & State means a prison can’t tell you what to eat. They can’t force you to eat pork and, this church hopes, they cannot deny you lobster.

Jails are terrible [citation needed] and inmates often do anything they can just to feel like they have an ounce of control in their lives.

Dietary hassles are not just the beginning, they’re also usually the end. Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Religionism0 Comments

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain “bad folks” pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he’s not been shy to get to the root of the problem.

Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If we are going to let all these, you know, these hooomoseeexual atheiiists, you know, if we tolerate them, let them work in our public facilities and business corporations….

Well, you’ve probably heard it before, but I’m gonna tell you, because it’s the truth, and it bears repeating. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Television0 Comments

NASA Pluto Probe Discovers Oddly Familiar Tabloid

NASA Pluto Probe Discovers Oddly Familiar Tabloid

Andromeda President: I don’t mind a few Milky Way types coming here the odd time, within reason, but they should bloody well accept the way we do things here!!!

Tearful Plutonian claims: My grandchildren are afraid of Neptunians who speak in senses they can’t understand!!! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

The Great Flâneur Massacre: Novella Excerpt 1. Such a Song and Dance!

The Great Flâneur Massacre: Novella Excerpt 1. Such a Song and Dance!

This is the first of two samples from my novella ‘The Great Flâneur Massacre.’

At the rather pompous academic conference which is the centrepiece of this novella in dramatic format, Stamford Rhodes (Stamp) has just presented a patronizing paper…

Where he makes clear his achingly noble desire to save Tibetans from themselves.

The very idea that not all Tibetans may agree with his criticisms of China just blows his mind! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

Brown Irishmen Six: A Song of Fury

Brown Irishmen Six: A Song of Fury

Last night another innocent, peaceful person died in an “unknown” land.

When the body of this person was pulled from the rubble in an unknown city in a certain Middle Eastern country, this message, along with a photo, was found in his breast pocket. By some miracle, the text was still intact.

The woman in the picture looked like an Irish woman, and the humorous, teasing shamrocks on the underside of the photo would appear to confirm this. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

God Issues Defamation & Copyright Cease and Desist

God Issues Defamation & Copyright Cease and Desist

One tragic “unintended consequence” of the DMCA is that it has resulted in a currently unverified premature leak of a document God was planning to reveal to the world.

Or at least to those who had ears to hear.

I can’t say for sure if the following transcript is for real.

Still, I guess this is one of those things. You either believe it or you don’t.

Listen, everybody. Now, I’m a pretty nice person. I mean, there’s no one in this world who is more loving and generous than me! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Religionism0 Comments

Stop Press! The REAL Reason Tom Cruise is Leaving Scientology

Stop Press! The REAL Reason Tom Cruise is Leaving Scientology

There’s a lot of talk about Tom Cruise leaving Scientology.

http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/07/01/tom-cruise-leaving-scientology-church-suri-cruise

But the media coverage thus far has been very selective.

So just this once, I’m going to have to use my imagination to plug the gap. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Top Stories0 Comments

Great Flâneur Massacre: Fictional Endorsements, Endorsements of Fiction (2/2)

Great Flâneur Massacre: Fictional Endorsements, Endorsements of Fiction (2/2)

Shhh. Don’t laugh. This is pretty damn serious stuff.

1.

Rob, Surname-Lacking and Achingly Committed Painfully Irritating Tenure-Cadger

“Relevant?” That’s a word people in power always use to dismiss me.

Endorsement from “Dr” Kent Hovind

Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Education0 Comments

Great Flâneur Massacre: Fictional Endorsements, Endorsements of Fiction (1/2)

Great Flâneur Massacre: Fictional Endorsements, Endorsements of Fiction (1/2)

I’ve already posted once on GlossyNews about The Great Flâneur Massacre.

And also on my satire blog: here and here. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Top Stories0 Comments

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