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Podcast 006 – 8/31/2015

Podcast 006 – 8/31/2015

In the first of my 2nd round of five 4K/UHD podcasts, I cover a lot of ground, some of it even interesting. Here are just a few of the topics:

A reminder this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”. Continue Reading

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Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash! (2/2)

Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash! (2/2)

Last time:

Ok, so we’ve had the first Black President and the final Democratic President in one go. But our nation has never really had a final Republican President, maybe that’s what we’re missing?

IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS BOBBY!

How long do people have to wait? I’m not ashamed to say this is my idea…

IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS BOBBY!

Still, you don’t have to have an electric deckchair in your back garden, a taste for shooting innovative cinematic productions, or indeed a love of gunning the hell out of noisy ducks and whiny foxes and…

(No, wait, that’s my buddy Ted)…

IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS BOBBY!

No, I mean you don’t need a pretty damn robust Heath Ledger jacket, to know there’s something wrong in this country…

IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS BOBBY!

Something wrong in my country, when Obama is supposed to be the last ever electable Democrat, but our GOP candidates are not even allowed to celebrate our final ever Republican Presidency!

IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS BOBBY!

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Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash! (1/2)

Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash! (1/2)

Although Rick Perry is not currently in power, some maliciously devious Vast Left-Wing Conspirators™ have unearthed a scandalous document which (they claim) could put paid to Rick Perry’s hopes of running for President.

The text in question threatens to derail not only Perry’s political career, but in addition, promises to ruin any hope of a legendary US President being elected in 2016…

Insofar as these two are possibilities are actually mutually distinguishable, of course.

It looks like the other main GOP candidates are turning on Rick Perry, and attempting to smear and discredit him. Talk about about a Vast Beltway-Mainstream Conspiracy™, huh?! Continue Reading

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9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 12 ‘The New Capitol’

9/12/2001 – The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 12 ‘The New Capitol’

9/12/2001 – THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED – Part 12 – The New Capitol

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country.

He begins immediately to make changes. Continue Reading

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GlossyNews Podcast 8/24/2015

GlossyNews Podcast 8/24/2015

In my fifth inexplicably 4K/UHD podcast, I cover a lot of ground, some of it even interesting. Find it on YouTube by searching “4K Podcast”.

Here are just a few of the topics:

* An odd banned commercial from what must surely be the worst petting zoo ever.

* My unique super power of being able to travel through time.

* The future of video games over the next 300 years, and it’s exciting. More for the robots than humanity, but still.

* How 3D Printing and cloning will make organ transplants a thing of the past, and how they already have.

* A review of the brilliant British comedy “A Touch of Cloth”.

* A true story about how to make a new marriage successful, happy and lasting.

* An interview with Tacoma artist Killiam Lord.

* Church of Brian sermon discusses the heirachy of wants vs. needs, and how to balance them for lasting prosperity.

* And I tell a story about milk popsicles and peanut butter, mayo and everything else sandwhiches, including pepper, to round off the week.

* And if you’ve never stayed to the end, which my stats show virtually no one has, there’s always a closing piece of wisdom… except this week. Can’t be expected to announce it and do it, that’s for the real fans, of which you’ll become.

Listen to it



Or you can download it by right-clicking and selecting “save as” right here. It’s also available on iTunes.

Watch it on YouTube



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Segment bumpers by Greg the Hero. Royalty Free Music “Your Call,” “Cool Intro,” “Fig Leaf Times Two”, “Funky Chunk”, “Odyssey”, “Funkorama” and “Music for a Funeral – 11″ by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com.

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Glossy News Podcast 8/17/2015

Glossy News Podcast 8/17/2015

In my fourth inexplicably 4K/UHD podcast, I cover a lot of ground, some of it even interesting. Here are just a few of the topics:

An in depth look at how things actually used to be more expensive than they are today.

A true story of a man who dies and returns to life with an experience at heaven’s gate. Continue Reading

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9/12/2001- The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 11

9/12/2001- The Days After The Unthinkable Happened – Part 11

9/12/2001
THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED
Part 11

(A serial book excerpt)

Previous installments – After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

McGurty announced himself to Cheney’s secretary through the intercom. He was immediately entered in, an entitlement usually reserved only for high ranking political and military officials and oilmen.

“So, what have you got for me? “ Cheney asked his slightly timid assistant.
“We can get Rumsfeld in, sir. Bolton would be a much tougher goal.”
“Good, good!’ said Cheney pleasedly. “Let’s get the ball rolling on that then.”
“Is Mr. Rumsfeld aware of the situation, sir?”
“No, but he will be very shortly, McGurty. I wanted to make sure it was feasible first. Thanks for working on that.”
“My pleasure, sir!”
He exited.

It was a meeting with the real big boys that ran things. The head honchos. The Man in plurality.

Still they all sat patiently in their lavishly comfortable chairs wearing suits just like so many other men across the world, only far better crafted. They are expectant, but unsure. Cheney was animated, excited. His eyes glowed with an intensity radiating from them.

“Gentlemen, as you can probably already imagine, we have made a decision for war. We are going after those who are responsible for the 911 tragedy.”
Bravos sounded around the table.

“This is grim news for us as a nation, but we should also rejoice for we at last are seeking blood from those who dealt us the deal.” Enthusiastic hand claps erupted.

“It is been a cloud hanging over us for a long time, now, but now we have the chance to experience its good potential. The promise of a silver lining holds especially true for we gentlemen in this room.” He unveils a map of the Mideast on the easel board set up before them. “We have already begun our buildup for a campaign against our hidden enemies. Our researchers in the CIA and FBI have led us to the lair of our cowardly foes. And that lair is in…” he points to the map with his pointer, “Iraq.” He points to the nation which is suddenly highlighted on the map and grows in proportion to be dominant. “This is our enemy. It is believed that Osama bin Laden is hiding out in its midst, probably in a remote desert area. In two days from now we will be hitting them with everything we got. They will experience a shock and awe that they will never forget.”

“Iraq? Aren’t they finding that the Arabs flying the planes into New York were Saudi’s?”

“Yes, indeed. But who was their motivator? Bin Laden. And where is he?’ He points to the map.

“We have to make sure we go after the cats and not the kittens. We will hit Iraq so hard they will be whirling like dervishes for weeks.”

Cheney paused a moment, then added with an expressible smirk upon his face, “And that is where the silver lining is. Gentlemen, the benefit of raining fire back upon our enemies is that once they are vanquished along with that despot who runs the place, we will have control over the world’s third largest oil producing country.”

A few oohs issued out. Others gloated upon an inner knowledge of it that they had already surmised.

The man from Shell Oil spoke up. “Who would be the beneficiaries of this situation?”

“Oh, we would! To the victors go the spoils. And those spoils would be around two million barrels of oil a day. And who is the ‘we’? Those of us who hold the reins!”

A couple wolf’s whistles sounded from around the room. “Are you sure these Iraqis ragheads aren’t going to hold on to them?”

Cheney’s expression got darker and more suggestive. “We will make sure they won’t!” the smirk appearing upon the corner of his mouth again. “We can’t have a bunch of Medieval beggars getting in the way of our profits!”

There was a pause at this, then a healthy round of ‘Bravos!’ and false ‘Hurrahs” resounded around the room accompanied by a tinny form of applause.

Pleased with the response to his speech, Cheney went into a back room and sat heavily down upon a chair. He covered his eyes with a towel and leaned back.

His aide McGurty entered the room, easing the door behind him.

“It sounds like you impressed them, sir.”

“Yes, that I believe I did.” stated Cheney from beneath the towel.
“It sounds like they are with you on it.”
“I certainly hope so.”
“So the next step is war?”
“Yes it is.”
“So we have any alternatives?”

Cheney whipped the towel off his face and sat bolt upright, pointing a finger at McGurty.

“No, Mr. McGurty, here is the way it is now. These religious nuts in the Mideast have proved that they can now get to us if they want to. And believe me, they want to. They have finally wised up to the fact that although we’ll let them have as much money as they need have to run their puppet kingdoms and get so much rich food and golden crap as they want, but we won’t let them have the reins to the whole deal. Even when they nationalized the oil companies, they were still dependent on our engineers to run the show. And on us to buy the stuff and to run the companies that pulled it out of the ground. Now they want the whole schmeil. They are not going to get it. We have the chance now to get a permanent slice of the oil pie. We get rid of this ape Hussein and Iraq will be ours. That will alone cover 60% of our energy needs. We will no longer have to go begging to every Mideastern despot who makes it to the top of the pile when we need our oil.”

“Once we have Iraq under our control, we can fortify it and make it our base in the Mideast. We will no longer have to rely on Israel being our eye over there. From a strong base in Iraq we can launch an offensive against any problem anywhere from Somalia to the Crimean to Kazakhstan to Bangladesh. We won’t have any more incidents like Iran taking over our embassy and holding hostages that happened under weak-kneed liberal leadership.”

“I don’t think the Iraqis will take lightly to us taking over their country. A poor and backwards as they may be, they are a proud and fierce people.”

Cheney, again sporting that evil smirk that come so much more frequently to his face now that he was President, leaned into the man and stared directly into his face. “Mr., if we can’t make this bunch of modern day nomads eat their own sand then we need to take our entire military and sell it to the Chinese. Were it not for all the UN bans on using nuclear weapons we could have them on their knees in two days.”

McGurty winced at this. “You mean you would seriously use a nuclear weapon?”

Cheney grimaced something that remotely resembled a smile. “Oh, you bet I would. If it would clean up this mess and get those Arabs back in line, then you bet I would.”

McGurty shivered at the man’s coldness. As he left he was relieved when the Presidents door fell shut behind him cutting him off from that other world that seemed embraced by darkness.

TO BE CONTINUED
– – – – – – – – – –

The complete book of 9/12/2001 is available from lulu.com under that exact title for $9.00 plus shipping.

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Outrageous UK Scandal: Channel 5 Doesn’t Plumb New Depths

Outrageous UK Scandal: Channel 5 Doesn’t Plumb New Depths

Not long ago, Channel 5 pulled its most outrageous publicity stunt yet.

For a single 24-hour period, the Channel refused to show any horrendous reality TV shows…

Nor any freaky scare stories on pig liposuction/experimental bollock transplants/bowel surgeons with overactive fingers/amateur self-castration gone wrong…

Nor indeed any more (purportedly) amusing anecdotes about vicious Albanian axe-murderers, sneaky Hungarian cider thieves and dastardly Romanian street-Ponzi warriors. Continue Reading

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Simon Cowell Finally on Song for UKIP

Simon Cowell Finally on Song for UKIP

Simon Cowell used to be unjustly accused of being the UK’s nastiest and most longwinded self-styled culture expert.

So, in order to avoid the unpleasant stigma of being the nastiest man in Britain, he has finally decided to join UKIP.

Hmm… maybe he was inspired by the Fasc’ Factor event he judged not long ago? Continue Reading

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Third Glossy News Podcast for your listen/viewing Pleasure

Third Glossy News Podcast for your listen/viewing Pleasure

In my third inexplicably 4K/UHD podcast, I cover a lot of ground, some of it even interesting. Here are just a few of the topics.

I invite you to celebrate S’mores Day and offer some wild and tasty recipes for what can do to get the most out of it.

A quick film recommendation for Tucker & Dale vs. Evil with Alan Tudyk and the ever lovely Katrina Bowden. Continue Reading

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Presidential Hopeful Rand Paul Says Terrorists Have Better Music

Presidential Hopeful Rand Paul Says Terrorists Have Better Music

Cleveland Ohio – On August 6th the presidential hopefuls for the Republican party gathered in attempts to remind people that Donald Trump is not a real candidate.

Among the cocks in the cluster fuck were Governor Chris “Bridge-y McHugs” Christie and Rand Paul, a poodle fur ‘merkin enthusiast. Continue Reading

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Dalai Lama Sues the Ass off Archbishop of Canterbury

Dalai Lama Sues the Ass off Archbishop of Canterbury

The Dalai Lama may be a man of few possessions, but he’s hoping to get the better of Anglican Archbishop Justin Welby in a very material manner…

While also sticking up for the faithful.

At least, the right kind of faithful, anyway. Continue Reading

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Vatican Ruthlessly Canonizes Ungrateful Dead Infidel

Vatican Ruthlessly Canonizes Ungrateful Dead Infidel

A scandalous leaked document from the Vatican highlights an utterly disgraceful and absolutely unbelievable lapse of judgment on the part of top Church authorities…

One which will almost certainly make the Church’s reputation plummet to unprecedented depths.

But what is it? Continue Reading

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Jerry Seinfeld Injured Filming ‘Comedians In Cars’

Jerry Seinfeld Injured Filming ‘Comedians In Cars’

Branson, MO. – Jerry Seinfeld, former network star, was involved in an auto accident while filming an episode of “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee” in Branson, Missouri. According to the Branson Police Department five people, including Mr. Seinfeld and guest comedian Yakov Smirnoff, suffered minor injuries.

Now entering its’ fifth season the up and coming cable show has nearly exhausted A, B, and C talent to interview.
Mr. Seinfeld had flown into Branson on short notice when Kathy Griffin bowed out of the show at the last minute to appear at a store opening in Bakersfield, California.

According to his publicist, Mr. Seinfeld, 61, enlisted Mr. Smirnoff, known for his cold war ‘What a Country’ ramblings, and was forced to go to Branson where Mr. Smirnoff was scheduled to perform. Following a long and turbulent flight Mr. Seinfeld’s choices of vintage cars, often used in his opening, were limited and he ended up driving a 1987 Ford Aerostar mini van.

After six cups of ‘nearly toxic coffee’ at a local bait shop, Mr. Seinfeld and Mr. Smirnoff drove around Branson for almost three hours looking for an Acura automobile, the shows sponsor that is displayed in every episode. Not finding any Acura, let alone a late model version, Mr. Seinfeld become disoriented and drove up the sidewalk at a local Piggly Wiggly store striking three shoppers before crashing into an outdoor display of pork rinds.

Mr. Seinfeld was overheard complaining that the combination of jet lag, an inability to understand a word the heavily accented Mr. Smirnoff had said the entire day and the lack of a delicatessen in town all contributed to his misfortune.

According to someone at the scene as Mr. Seinfeld walked off he was calling in a high pitch voice for ‘George, Kramer and someone named Elaine’, although no one had any idea who they may be.
Another witness also mentioned that after looking at Mr. Seinfeld’s license, a local state trooper was heard to say that ‘Oh, this is what a New York Jew looks like’.

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GOP/Dems War Duet: You Gotta Save Somebody 

GOP/Dems War Duet: You Gotta Save Somebody 

Someone has decided to rewrite Bob Dylan’s Gotta Serve Somebody, to fit the current climate in 2015.

The song has not been well received in Washington. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

4K Glossy News Review Weekly Podcast Celebrates 1-week Anniversary

4K Glossy News Review Weekly Podcast Celebrates 1-week Anniversary

Last week the Glossy News podcast launched and the results have been whelming.

Not exactly overwhelming, but whelming nonetheless. Under, I think is the prefix I’m looking for.

If you’re looking for heaven on earth, this thing is hell on wheels, except that it has no wheels, as it’s a podcast, though one offered in stunning 4K resolution. Continue Reading

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