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Preview for Self-Published Play: “The Great Flâneur Massacre.”

Preview for Self-Published Play: “The Great Flâneur Massacre.”

The TM-sphere has been abuzz with speculation on the novella in quasi-dramatic form that Mr TM is due to self-publish in the near future.

(Well, June, actually. But then, why should Mr TM tell you the exact date at this stage? That would spoil all the fun; or Mr TM’s fun, in any case; which is not an entirely inconsequential consideration, after all).

However, the Malign-Forces-of-International-Creative-Transparency-Fundamentalism may be somewhat disappointed, that Mr TM’s first fairly lengthy work will be released under a pseudonym, and not under his real name. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

A Serial Ponytail Yanker’s Lasso of Truth Interview [Full Censored Transcript, 13 April 2015]

A Serial Ponytail Yanker’s Lasso of Truth Interview [Full Censored Transcript, 13 April 2015]

Caption Text Goes Here: Honest John: Under the influence of the Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

This shocking suppressed interview with the prime minister of the New Zealand realm, John Phillip Key (AKA ‘the Smiling Assassin’), delves deeper into the reasons underpinning the bullying of a waitress by the country’s leader. It was conducted by The New Zealand Herald’s editor, Shayne Currie, who had his ‘plumber mates’ break in to the world headquarters of Snoopman News Group to steal the most coveted treasure of the media world, Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

Snoopman News learned who was behind the break-in, because journalists can’t keep secrets. We confronted Currie, who disclosed that because his newspaper had the scoop on the story of New Zealand’s prime minister’s ponytail-pulling harassment, he said it was crucial to know the truth to better keep track of how it was going to be bent, since gossip columnist Rachel Glucina would create a warped narrative to protect the prime minister.

=====================

Shayne Currie:
I’ve read a draft of Amanda Bailey’s [the harassed waitress] account. She mentions the power disparity at play, wherein she is a waitress, and you’re the prime minister, with the protection of two body-guards and in the company of your wife on each of your visits to the Hip Group franchised café, Rosie. She asserts that after you’d pulled her ponytail on numerous occasions, and she’d made it clear by her body language that she didn’t like having her hair pulled, you continued to tug her ponytail. Why did you repeatedly pull waitress Amanda Bailey’s hair like a naughty three year-old?

steve2

Operation Ponytail: ‘The Ponytail Girl’ was used to to test a new political technique – Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC).

John Key: [Chuckles] One reason is we’re experimenting with a new touchy-feely public relations model called Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC), which takes the manipulation of politicians kissing babies to ‘next level’. As you know, National’s [Key’s political party] public relations firm is Crosby Textor. It’s a bit of an Anglo-Saxon political party favourite. Crosby Textor noticed I had a slight hair fetish, called Trichophilia, especially for young fillies, and they saw how we could exploit it by morphing it into the ‘Nice Guy Key’ Brand that we had manufactured for my political assent.

SC: So, Crosby Textor figured this new ‘stock in political-horse trade’ trick could make the Trichophilia appear like fatherly affection, care and attention?

steve3 JK: Exactly! It was genius.

A Fetish Outing: People thought it was wee bit weird

But didn’t realise this behaviour going ‘next level’.

But didn’t realise this behaviour going ‘next level’.

SC: But, how would the serial hair-pulling of a waitress help your political party’s re-election bid and beyond? I mean, the waitress claims that she became more direct with her brush-offs, and you then pretended it was your wife Bronagh doing the hair-pulling. Was that like a change of game plan to get ‘a rise’ [heighten the tension] out of her, so you could brag about it with your investment class supporters?

JK: Yep. The idea was that I’d push it into a public social setting, where I’d get more, more, more, you know, triple-more tipsy and brag about my antics-before and after-dark – for hours – because as Bill English has told journalists, I love to natter at length because I have a big ego.

SC: Let me get this straight. Brag to who exactly?

JK: Brag to National’s hardcore primary constituency, the big donors, who take ‘male entitlement’ as a given, since the term actually means boys and men expect women to serve and be submissive to jerks like us.

SC: But, why?

JK: My antics were signaling to male capitalists that I have the politics of the struggling working class firmly in hand.

This was especially important to do after getting the Employment Relations Amendment bill passed into law last year, which Bronagh and I needed to fire our house-cleaner because she did nothing around our thirteen million-dollar mansion, as I mentioned to the president of the New Zealand Council of Trade Unions Helen Kelly when she met me to express concerns over the employment bill.

So bragging about my ponytail pulling antics made my bad-ass reputation among the Male Entitlement Fraternity [or ‘the Old Boys Network’] shoot upward.

SC: So, the audience for the hair-tugging antics was like an inside track while the wider public crowd only saw the Nice Guy Key stuff.

JK: Yup. We dubbed it Split Enz. [Key guffawing and snorting]

SC: Mean. What about contingencies?

More Cat than Prime Minister: English comedian John Oliver mocks ‘no drama’ John Key for his creepy serial bullying.

More Cat than Prime Minister: English comedian John Oliver mocks ‘no drama’ John Key for his creepy serial bullying.

JK: If my hair-yanking antics went wrong, I’d have that triple-more tipsy cover-story and I could say ‘I was just horsing around’. [Extensive chuckling by both 11 year-old men]

IdealWorldKeyPonyTailHorse.png goes here

Caption Text Goes Here – Horsing Around: John Key’s public relations firm, Crosby Textor, likes cheesy puns.

SC: So, you’re saying National insiders and Crosby Textor conspired to target a waitress and harass her to the limit?

JK: Hell yes! We called it Operation Ponytail. We capitalists love to torment muggles and hobbits, because they actually have to work to survive, since over the last 10 centuries we’ve driven them off their native lands the world-over. [Currie sniggering and sounds of him scribbling notes]. That’s the story that J.K. Rowling and Peter Jackson have failed to tell in their epic sagas.

SC: Where was Bronagh [John Key’s wife] in all this?

JK: Bronagh would tell me to stop it and leave the poor girl alone. And then the waitress chick told my body-guards she’d ‘one day snap and punch me in the face.’ At a subsequent encounter, as I was settling the bill with an autographed cheque that I know they’ll never cash – like Dali used to do – and I approached ‘the ponytail girl’, making the Jaws theme tune, with my hands raised high like I was trying to ‘get a tug on’ [or yanking her hair]. She asked, “is it self defence, with your security here, if I have to physically stop you from touching me?” And I grinned my Smiling Assassin grin [Lengthy chuckling on BASF tape], and I countered, “defence against what?”, guffawed Key.

JK’s Apology Wine: Waitress says New Zealand’s PM gave her these bottles to feign sincerity.

JK’s Apology Wine: Waitress says New Zealand’s PM gave her these bottles to feign sincerity.

SC: That… sounds psychopathic. [Currie snickering, Key snorting]. So, you’re not concerned that this Ponytail scandal unravels Brand Key?

JK: Look, you know as well as I do that New Zealand’s mainstream media pull their punches when it comes to me and my pro-corporate party. The Parliamentary Press Corp are still under my spell since that time I charmed them with a cake I made on a flight aboard an Air Force Orion transporter to China in April 2013. The reef fish [parliament-beat reporters] contracted a variation of Stockholm Syndrome and behaved like five year-olds at a birthday party.They still feel weird about it when they brush their teeth.

SC: I mean, Nicky Hager’s book Dirty Politics exposed your political party’s two-track communications strategy, wherein your party machine manufactured your ‘Nice Guy’ persona, while the same machine outsourced dirty political attacks to right wing bloggers, with the complicity of the mainstream media.

JK: Yes. And your newspaper was complicit in that process Shayne, so stop trying to occupy the middle cross among ‘sinners’.

SC: And your political party pursued that two-track communications strategy knowing it would hurt left-wing political parties first because ‘lefty’ voters tend to have sissy feelings about everythi-

JK: Including the homo idea that politics ought to be fair, mature and above-board. Look, when we survived the Dirty Politics scandal through the last election campaign, our first thought was how do we capitalize on how zoned out the New Zealand population is and amplify it even more.

SC: Even for an ex-London and Wall Street banker, taking such risks seems out of proportion to the pay-off.

JK: Well, besides being an enormous amount of fun, you have to understand that New Zealand is treated like a lab by the rulers of the world, the Illuminati, who have an obsessive-compulsive disorder to embody the Cult of World Domination. The Illuminati have been variously identified over time as, the Fraternity, the Grid, and the Committee of 300 [They self-identify as the Olympiards, according to former MI6 agent, John Coleman].

steve8

Knowing his Place: Key didn’t dare tug on the royal ponytail of Princess Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (AKA Kate Middleton) during the landlord’s inspection of the New Zealand realm in 2014.

 

SC: So, muggles and hobbits are conditioned to think it’s just conspiracy theory that there’s a group behind the curtain, like in The Wizard of Oz, manipulating events and steering the world along toward colliding crises?

JK: Pretty much. The movie The Usual Suspects, starring Kevin Spacey, is a cult-classic in the National party. We’ve taken the line, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”, as a mantra.

SC: [Sniggering] How do you avoid getting confused between what is true and the lies you fabricate?

JK: Awww look, you need to use the truth as your reference point for ‘managing the optics’. There’s no doubt about it, lying gets complicated without such reference points first being surveyed to maintain the inherent logic of the copies of reality being manufactured. That holds true for any practitioners of ‘speed politics’ who possess a significant command of resources, as scholar in International Law Eric Wilson argues in Crimes Against Reality.

SC: So, what is it with the hair fetish?

JK: To be honest, since you have me tied up and I feel weirdly compelled to tell the truth for once, Amanda has a very tantalising ponytail. I like it when girls wear ponytails because of the way their neck looks, especially when they have that neck hair that won’t reach into the ponytail. [Pause] My party’s public relations firm Crosby Textor told me to add, ‘I’m wondering if I’m a bit gay or something? Go figure!’ Because they said that would rebuild sympathy with female voters. New Zealanders are such sucker-luckers for my manufactured down-to-earth persona.

Trick or Trichophilia: Convincing the world he is Nice Guy Key since 2006.

Trick or Trichophilia: Convincing the world he is Nice Guy Key since 2006.

SC: I’m going to loosen the rope so you can be ‘a-large’ again.

[As the interview ends, sounds of Key caressing and sniffing the rope can be heard]

JK: Is the rope made of hemp, or horse-hair?

SC: Ponytail hair.

JK: Filly girl’s hair? [Sounding excited]

SC: It may be make-believe girl’s hair or make-real girl’s hair. Whatever optical fantasy you want it to be John. We’re all in this together.

JK: Neigh! [Sounds of Key scuffing his shoe on the carpet

steve9

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Posted in Talky Pictures, Top Stories0 Comments

Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down

Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down

Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the Internet giant Google has officially made itself the greatest source of knowledge in the entire universe, surpassing even that of Douglas Adam’s giant planet computer in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

In a surprising move as a result of this development, God has stepped down as the Supreme Force of the Universe. Asked to make a public statement about this unexpected change, God refused at first to answer reporters’ questions. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Religionism7 Comments

Prime Minister Disraeli: 7 Hilariously Cutting Putdowns

Prime Minister Disraeli: 7 Hilariously Cutting Putdowns

1. Civilization and Savage Witticisms

Benjamin Disraeli, the English Frankie Boyle, is quite possibly the most aristocratically flamboyant and cutting Prime Minister in UK history. With perfect comic timing, he sliced through the pompous pretensions of his opponents, like a knife through last month’s beef haslet.

He once parried the insult of the Irish Nationalist Daniel O’Connell by saying: Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Politics1 Comment

Our Crowdfunded North Korea Movie is Chugging Along, but it Needs Your Help

Our Crowdfunded North Korea Movie is Chugging Along, but it Needs Your Help

Kim Jong-Un is reportedly flipping his shit since the wide release of “The Interview”, which even his most dastardly designs did nothing to diminish.

We’re about halfway done filming ours, and I must say, it… looks… amazing. “The Interview” was pure Hollywood, but ours aims to really take the piss out of him and his absurd hermit kingdom.

Here is a pre-pre-trailer to show you what we’ve got so far, but if you scroll down far enough and read things close enough, you’ll get to see an actual clip from the movie to show you what we’re doing. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Video News6 Comments

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

St. Louis, Missouri – As the newest Ghostbusters film comes closer to fruition, more and more companies are releasing products that, in thought, will appeal to the everyday consumer who doubles as a Ghostbusterian.

The latest household name to join in on the ghost hunt? The Nestlé Purina PetCare Company with an innovative treat, featuring a new take on their original Beggin’ Strips that have gone unchanged since they debuted in 1993.

The new product, known as Bagans Strips, are still catered towards dogs and are named after the late TV star and former host of the Travel Channel series, Ghost Adventurers, Zak Bagans. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Talky Pictures0 Comments

Welcome to CatMatch.com

Welcome to CatMatch.com

Exciting news from Match.com, the world’s largest online match-making service. Since our launch in 1995, our goal has been to help men and women find their perfect someone. To date we have found matches for several million people – and successful matches for over 50 of them.

But why should humans be the only ones supported in finding their soulmates? That’s why we are proud to announce our newest service: CatMatch.com, the first online matchmaking service for cats. No longer will your favorite feline need to prowl the alley for a suitable mate. Check out some of our hottest kitties and subscribe your cat today. Who knows? Perhaps the kitten she’ll be smitten by is just a mouse click away.

Catmatch - DustyDusty7045 – 11-year old female, Portland, OR
Seeking male kitty for spooning on couch and cleaning fur

ABOUT ME

Relationship: Single – one owner.
Body type: Furry, light shedder – mostly on my master’s pillow.
Have kids? Yes, four, but they all disappeared at 8 weeks and I have no idea where they went.
Litter box trained? Absolutely! (But sometimes I forget when I’m tired.)
Favorite hobbies: Chasing red laser pointers, licking myself in my privates.
Favorite food: Ants, dust, rubber bands – pretty much anything I find on the kitchen floor. Oh, and my own vomit. But no one else’s – that would be gross!

More about me: If you like curling up on the bed for 18 – 20 hours a day, I may be just your girl. But don’t ask me to go outside. It looks terrifying out there.

Catmatch - GizmoGizmo2996 – 8-year old male, El Paso, TX
Seeking submissive female who won’t bug me

ABOUT ME

Relationship: Single – one owner but I just ignore him.
Body type: Rock hard abs. If you don’t believe me, just test me.
Have kids? Probably. Who knows? Who cares? Once the dirty deed is done, it’s not my problem, you know what I’m sayin’?
Litter box trained? Nope. Nobody tells me where I can and can’t take a piss. I make my own rules, honey.
Favorite hobbies: Beating the crap out of any neighborhood cat that dares to step foot on my yard.
Favorite food: Steak, pizza, pretty much anything I find on my owner’s dinner plate after he passes out in a drunken stupor. And the occasional mouse head.

More about me: Neutered? Do I look like I’m neutered? If you’re looking for a kitty to curl up next to you, I suggest you hit on Dusty up above. But if you’re willing to leave me alone and bring me a dead mouse now and then, I might let you hang out.

Catmatch - PrincessPrincessFuzzyFace984 – 6-year old female, Cherry Hill, NJ
Seeking male kitty willing to pamper me

ABOUT ME

Relationship: It’s complicated. Nobody dares call themselves my “owner”.
Body type: Just look at my fur coat. If you guessed Armani, you’re right.
Have kids? Are you kidding? With a body like mine, who has time for kids?
Litter box trained? I am shocked you even ask. Where are your manners?
Favorite hobbies: Being patted on my tummy, my chin, and behind my ears. Oh, and coughing up furballs after I preen.
Favorite food: Anything from the gourmet food aisle. Only fresh tuna or steak tartare pour moi.

More about me: I am used to the finer things in life. My own bed, my own chaise lounge for sunning on the deck. I wear a bejeweled collar. But I refuse to let anyone dress me up in a ladybug costume.

Catmatch - ZeusZeus6798 – 16-year old male, Sioux Falls, SD
Seeking a remote control and a beer

ABOUT ME

Relationship: Single – one owner but we have an agreement – you don’t bother me; I won’t bother you.
Body type: Not really sure since I can’t see past my belly. Does that make me fat? Yeah, I’m guessin’ I’m fat. Big deal.
Have kids? Probably somewhere. But that was a long time ago. And I don’t have opposable thumbs so it’s not like I can write them to ask how they’re doing.
Litter box trained? If it’s placed within a foot of wherever I’m resting, then I’ll give it a shot. Otherwise, nah, not really.
Favorite hobbies: See the picture? I’m doing it. Pretty much a one-trick pony, I’m afraid.
Favorite food: Not really too picky, just so long as I don’t have to hunt for my meal. Look at this body – it hasn’t hunted since Friends was on the tube.

More about me: I’m not what you would call the adventurous type. Just put me in front of a large screen, turn on any channel, and I’m good. I really like that Fish Tank channel. Could watch that for days.

Catmatch - CupcakeCupcake1573 – 12-week old old female, Akron, OH
Seeking kitty in the mirror to be my playmate. He’s so funny.

ABOUT ME

Relationship: That’s a big, fancy word. What does it mean?
Body type: Adorable. At least that’s what my master tells me.
Have kids? Aren’t I too little to have kittens of my own?
Litter box trained? Not yet, but I’m working on it. My owner keeps spraying me in the face whenever I make a poopy in the living room.
Favorite hobbies: Chasing my tail, getting stuck in funny places like the bathroom sink, and falling asleep in adorably cute positions.
Favorite food: Buttons, gum, tape, shoelaces, dirt, or anything shiny.

More about me: I like to play and play all day long. I wonder what happens if I tip over that vase? Um, a little help please outta this waste basket. I think I’m stuck. Oops. I just spit up a plant. I wonder if I can get inside this shoe. Where did that kitty in the mirror go? zzzzzzzzzz

Some pretty exciting kitties looking for a special someone to nuzzle up next to. So what are you waiting for? Subscribe to CatMatch.com today and find your PURR-fect match.

Coming in summer 2015: Match.com – Bovine Edition.

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Posted in Entertainment, Human Interest, Top Stories1 Comment

John Kerry Finally Gets Around to Threatening Glossynews (Syrian Cooking Pots!)

John Kerry Finally Gets Around to Threatening Glossynews (Syrian Cooking Pots!)

John Kerry has threatened the pitiful Unamerican/Uncosmopolitan “satire” outlet “Glossynews” with humanitarian annihilation, if we do not shape up.

Read the transcript, and promise me not to laugh. This shit is serious.

The illegitimate Glossynews editorial regime and its vicious hack collaborators, for too long, have defied the wrath of the International Community.

These despicable hooligans truly are “Sinners in the Hand of an Angry Military-Industrial Complex,” and it’s about time they started acting accountably. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone0 Comments

Discovery Channel Commits DMCA Fraud (seriously)

Discovery Channel Commits DMCA Fraud (seriously)

Discovery Channel is at it again. This time they’ve targeted two of our videos and taken them down.

This is the fourth time they or one of their affiliates have targeted our video “How Hot Dogs are REALLY Made” and the first time they’ve targeted “How Chicken Nuggets are REALLY Made“.

They are committing fraud, plain and simple.

When the hot dog video first went online, they filed a claim to assume all ad revenue. At first, I let it slide because I didn’t know better. For the vast majority of the life of this video, Discovery Channel kept every penny of revenue.

Months later came a very nasty take down notice from their partners in Canada. They didn’t just want the money, they wanted it gone, going as far as to write a custom (non-form) letter describing it as “disgusting”. I’d had enough so I did my research and fought them.

The law firm in Quebec immediately backed down knowing they had no standing. I also contested the “Matched 3rd Party Content” claim from Discovery and had that reversed as well.

Last month, without any notice, Discovery filed another claim instantly taking all my ad revenue without so much as a notice. It wasn’t until I looked into my stats that I even saw it. I immediately contested it and a few days later, it was reversed. The money was still gone from that time, of course, but that’s just how YouTube protects its dying-media partners.

On this one, it wasn’t so much as a new claim, but the exact same claim one second later in the video.

Yesterday I went to look at my stats and found that Discovery had filed two new claims against my videos. Not content with taking all the money (since I’d stopped them twice before) they simply had the videos removed.

These are two of my biggest videos we’re talking about. About 150 people see them every day, but not now. Not until YouTube or Discovery Network admit, once again, that these fall under the Fair Use doctrine.

Fair Use Doctrine Explained

According to this document from Stanford, “Most fair use analysis falls into two categories: (1) commentary and criticism, or (2) parody.”

A parody is a work that ridicules another, usually well-known work, by imitating it in a comic way. Judges understand that, by its nature, parody demands some taking from the original work being parodied. Unlike other forms of fair use, a fairly extensive use of the original work is permitted in a parody in order to “conjure up” the original.

In the case of both videos, they were not simply taken as a whole and republished. They substantially borrowed from, but substantially provided commentary on both processes outlined.

The Transformative Factor: The Purpose and Character of Your Use

In a 1994 case, the Supreme Court emphasized this first factor as being a primary indicator of fair use. At issue is whether the material has been used to help create something new or merely copied verbatim into another work. When taking portions of copyrighted work, ask yourself the following questions:

– Has the material you have taken from the original work been transformed by adding new expression or meaning?
– Was value added to the original by creating new information, new aesthetics, new insights, and understandings?

In a parody, for example, the parodist transforms the original by holding it up to ridicule.

Are the works transformative? You bet your ass. New expression and meaning is the entire point my videos. New information is literally what’s created.

The Effect of the Use Upon the Potential Market

Another important fair use factor is whether your use deprives the copyright owner of income or undermines a new or potential market for the copyrighted work… Again, parody is given a slightly different fair use analysis with regard to the impact on the market. It’s possible that a parody may diminish or even destroy the market value of the original work. That is, the parody may be so good that the public can never take the original work seriously again. Although this may cause a loss of income, it’s not the same type of loss as when an infringer merely appropriates the work. As one judge explained, “The economic effect of a parody with which we are concerned is not its potential to destroy or diminish the market for the original—any bad review can have that effect—but whether it fulfills the demand for the original.” (Fisher v. Dees, 794 F.2d 432 (9th Cir. 1986).)

There are two important things here. First of all, the actual “How It’s Made: Hot Dogs” videos have over 60 million views. Mind has under 70,000. To argue it’s diminishing their income is laughable, but the second point is more compelling.

It doesn’t matter if I actual could diminish their work because mine is very abundantly clearly a parody. There are a few scattered comments who don’t get it, but every one of those are what judges could call a moron in a hurry.

(Example of) Fair Use. A pro-life video organization created two anti-abortion videos by borrowing video clips from a pro-choice video and juxtaposing them with actual abortion footage.

That means that even if they don’t find it funny, being transformative in parody is sufficient grounds.

What’s next with this?

I’m fighting this to the death. If they want to suggest short-of-court arrangements I’m happy to listen, but they’ve been nothing but a monumental pain in my ass and I have zero doubt I will prevail.

I haven’t used any of their footage in my newer videos about hot things are REALLY made because even though I have the right to, I have no desire to bring further attention and profit to their programming. But these two videos? Sorry guys, they’re not going anywhere.

If they want to sue me, I’ll appear and fight to the bitter end… and win… with a judgment for my costs. If they back down but continue to harass me I will file suit against them. Once or twice I can understand, but this is my fourth and fifth time dealing with them.

This isn’t a mistake, it’s standard operating procedure. It’s millionaires and billionaires fighting me for my nickel. As a matter of principal I just can’t let it go.

Bruce Campbell (no relation to the cool one, I believe,) is Discovery Network’s Chief Development & Digital Media Officer and General Counsel, which includes “all legal affairs”.

I highly doubt he knows what’s being done in his name, but I’ll leave it to you readers to decide if that’s me being serious or satirical. If he doesn’t, he needs to fix this. If he does, he needs to explain it.

Harassing, needling and nickel and diming a two-bit media guy like me isn’t just a waste of resource, it’s a lot like shaking a beehive. Well, it would be if beehives had time on their hands and a passion for righting wrongs against them and the ability to do something about it. So I guess I’m more like, well, an actual beehive.

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Posted in Internets Tubes4 Comments

KKK Tell us What Real Rap is All About

KKK Tell us What Real Rap is All About

Previous version published on thespoof.co.uk, entitled: “KKK: Underground Rap A-OK, but ONLY Underground Rap.”

Well hey, some classics just bear repeating. You can’t seriously tell me my remixes are inferior to those of, say, Axwell and all those dudes.

The Ku Klux Klan has made a somewhat peculiar (and not necessarily entirely sincere?) attempt to find black supporters and allies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Strange People, Top Stories1 Comment

Skier Gets Tongue Stuck on Ice Cube!

Skier Gets Tongue Stuck on Ice Cube!

Los Angeles, California – Hundreds of skiers, snowboarders and snow tubers celebrated the grand opening of Mount Thang, located in the eastern side of the city this past weekend.

In addition to celebrating Los Angeles’ first snow sighting since a light dusting fell in Malibu back in 2007, all attending guests had the opportunity to chat with celebrities, including the mountain’s popular owner, O’Shea Jackson, Sr., better known by his stage name, Ice Cube. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Sports1 Comment

Chamberlain’s Army (Parody of “Oliver’s Army”)

Chamberlain’s Army (Parody of “Oliver’s Army”)

Disclaimer:

I have tried to write an alternative to Elvis Costello’s “Oliver’s Army,” under parody and fair use, as a tribute to Costello’s song.

As someone from Northern Ireland, my reading of the original song is that in in times of armed conflict, practically no-one gains anything.

No disrespect to Elvis Costello and the Attractions, or any other form of presumption, is intended. I also do not anticipate or imply any endorsement, criticism, or other value judgment on the part of the original song writers and performers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Music0 Comments

Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (VIDEOs)

Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (VIDEOs)

There are those who quake in their boots at the thought of upsetting sweaty North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. We are not among them.

Thumbing our noses is the least of what we’re doing. Unlike “The Interview” ours will be a non-stop biting satire. We’re not focused primarily on the American’s involvement, but almost exclusively on those within North Korea.

It’s a hermit Kingdom and it’s a fascinating place. Very little news gets out but our team of writers has been hammering on this to craft a clever script. We’ve amassed a hell of a crew and we’re planning to start shooting actual screen footage in the next ten days. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Video News5 Comments

Donald Trump’s Diary Released

Donald Trump’s Diary Released

“Trump filed the suit against Palm Beach County last week, claiming his history of conflict with Palm Beach International Airport has led officials to spitefully redirect air traffic over his historic Mar-a-Lago estate in south Florida.”
– USA Today – January 13, 2015

“Once again, Donald Trump claims he’s flirting with a run for the White House.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Celebrity Gossip0 Comments

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

The Apocalypse is close at hand. The signs of the times are showing themselves. I am sure that there is a verse in Revelations that says “…and verily all the good comedians will leave the scene and only darkness shall thereafter be manifest…”.

Jon Stewart, primary televised purveyor of jokes and satirist extraordinaire for the entire western hemisphere has announced that he will be leaving his job at The Daily Show sometime this year. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Television0 Comments

Publication of “The Brian Williams Story” Nixed

Publication of “The Brian Williams Story” Nixed

Excerpts from “The Brian Williams Story”, a rumored biography that will now apparently never see print:

November 9, 1989
“All I can say is that it was an honor and a thrill to be the only major American news anchor on site when the Berlin Wall fell. It was a combination of good luck and astute planning that put me there that night so that I could report this major event back home to our NBC viewing audience. Or maybe it was Tom Brokaw. The important thing is that we were there.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Television0 Comments

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