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John Kerry Finally Gets Around to Threatening Glossynews (Syrian Cooking Pots!)

John Kerry Finally Gets Around to Threatening Glossynews (Syrian Cooking Pots!)

John Kerry has threatened the pitiful Unamerican/Uncosmopolitan “satire” outlet “Glossynews” with humanitarian annihilation, if we do not shape up.

Read the transcript, and promise me not to laugh. This shit is serious.

The illegitimate Glossynews editorial regime and its vicious hack collaborators, for too long, have defied the wrath of the International Community.

These despicable hooligans truly are “Sinners in the Hand of an Angry Military-Industrial Complex,” and it’s about time they started acting accountably. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone0 Comments

Discovery Channel Commits DMCA Fraud (seriously)

Discovery Channel Commits DMCA Fraud (seriously)

Discovery Channel is at it again. This time they’ve targeted two of our videos and taken them down.

This is the fourth time they or one of their affiliates have targeted our video “How Hot Dogs are REALLY Made” and the first time they’ve targeted “How Chicken Nuggets are REALLY Made“.

They are committing fraud, plain and simple.

When the hot dog video first went online, they filed a claim to assume all ad revenue. At first, I let it slide because I didn’t know better. For the vast majority of the life of this video, Discovery Channel kept every penny of revenue.

Months later came a very nasty take down notice from their partners in Canada. They didn’t just want the money, they wanted it gone, going as far as to write a custom (non-form) letter describing it as “disgusting”. I’d had enough so I did my research and fought them.

The law firm in Quebec immediately backed down knowing they had no standing. I also contested the “Matched 3rd Party Content” claim from Discovery and had that reversed as well.

Last month, without any notice, Discovery filed another claim instantly taking all my ad revenue without so much as a notice. It wasn’t until I looked into my stats that I even saw it. I immediately contested it and a few days later, it was reversed. The money was still gone from that time, of course, but that’s just how YouTube protects its dying-media partners.

On this one, it wasn’t so much as a new claim, but the exact same claim one second later in the video.

Yesterday I went to look at my stats and found that Discovery had filed two new claims against my videos. Not content with taking all the money (since I’d stopped them twice before) they simply had the videos removed.

These are two of my biggest videos we’re talking about. About 150 people see them every day, but not now. Not until YouTube or Discovery Network admit, once again, that these fall under the Fair Use doctrine.

Fair Use Doctrine Explained

According to this document from Stanford, “Most fair use analysis falls into two categories: (1) commentary and criticism, or (2) parody.”

A parody is a work that ridicules another, usually well-known work, by imitating it in a comic way. Judges understand that, by its nature, parody demands some taking from the original work being parodied. Unlike other forms of fair use, a fairly extensive use of the original work is permitted in a parody in order to “conjure up” the original.

In the case of both videos, they were not simply taken as a whole and republished. They substantially borrowed from, but substantially provided commentary on both processes outlined.

The Transformative Factor: The Purpose and Character of Your Use

In a 1994 case, the Supreme Court emphasized this first factor as being a primary indicator of fair use. At issue is whether the material has been used to help create something new or merely copied verbatim into another work. When taking portions of copyrighted work, ask yourself the following questions:

– Has the material you have taken from the original work been transformed by adding new expression or meaning?
– Was value added to the original by creating new information, new aesthetics, new insights, and understandings?

In a parody, for example, the parodist transforms the original by holding it up to ridicule.

Are the works transformative? You bet your ass. New expression and meaning is the entire point my videos. New information is literally what’s created.

The Effect of the Use Upon the Potential Market

Another important fair use factor is whether your use deprives the copyright owner of income or undermines a new or potential market for the copyrighted work… Again, parody is given a slightly different fair use analysis with regard to the impact on the market. It’s possible that a parody may diminish or even destroy the market value of the original work. That is, the parody may be so good that the public can never take the original work seriously again. Although this may cause a loss of income, it’s not the same type of loss as when an infringer merely appropriates the work. As one judge explained, “The economic effect of a parody with which we are concerned is not its potential to destroy or diminish the market for the original—any bad review can have that effect—but whether it fulfills the demand for the original.” (Fisher v. Dees, 794 F.2d 432 (9th Cir. 1986).)

There are two important things here. First of all, the actual “How It’s Made: Hot Dogs” videos have over 60 million views. Mind has under 70,000. To argue it’s diminishing their income is laughable, but the second point is more compelling.

It doesn’t matter if I actual could diminish their work because mine is very abundantly clearly a parody. There are a few scattered comments who don’t get it, but every one of those are what judges could call a moron in a hurry.

(Example of) Fair Use. A pro-life video organization created two anti-abortion videos by borrowing video clips from a pro-choice video and juxtaposing them with actual abortion footage.

That means that even if they don’t find it funny, being transformative in parody is sufficient grounds.

What’s next with this?

I’m fighting this to the death. If they want to suggest short-of-court arrangements I’m happy to listen, but they’ve been nothing but a monumental pain in my ass and I have zero doubt I will prevail.

I haven’t used any of their footage in my newer videos about hot things are REALLY made because even though I have the right to, I have no desire to bring further attention and profit to their programming. But these two videos? Sorry guys, they’re not going anywhere.

If they want to sue me, I’ll appear and fight to the bitter end… and win… with a judgment for my costs. If they back down but continue to harass me I will file suit against them. Once or twice I can understand, but this is my fourth and fifth time dealing with them.

This isn’t a mistake, it’s standard operating procedure. It’s millionaires and billionaires fighting me for my nickel. As a matter of principal I just can’t let it go.

Bruce Campbell (no relation to the cool one, I believe,) is Discovery Network’s Chief Development & Digital Media Officer and General Counsel, which includes “all legal affairs”.

I highly doubt he knows what’s being done in his name, but I’ll leave it to you readers to decide if that’s me being serious or satirical. If he doesn’t, he needs to fix this. If he does, he needs to explain it.

Harassing, needling and nickel and diming a two-bit media guy like me isn’t just a waste of resource, it’s a lot like shaking a beehive. Well, it would be if beehives had time on their hands and a passion for righting wrongs against them and the ability to do something about it. So I guess I’m more like, well, an actual beehive.

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Posted in Internets Tubes4 Comments

KKK Tell us What Real Rap is All About

KKK Tell us What Real Rap is All About

Previous version published on thespoof.co.uk, entitled: “KKK: Underground Rap A-OK, but ONLY Underground Rap.”

Well hey, some classics just bear repeating. You can’t seriously tell me my remixes are inferior to those of, say, Axwell and all those dudes.

The Ku Klux Klan has made a somewhat peculiar (and not necessarily entirely sincere?) attempt to find black supporters and allies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Strange People, Top Stories1 Comment

Skier Gets Tongue Stuck on Ice Cube!

Skier Gets Tongue Stuck on Ice Cube!

Los Angeles, California – Hundreds of skiers, snowboarders and snow tubers celebrated the grand opening of Mount Thang, located in the eastern side of the city this past weekend.

In addition to celebrating Los Angeles’ first snow sighting since a light dusting fell in Malibu back in 2007, all attending guests had the opportunity to chat with celebrities, including the mountain’s popular owner, O’Shea Jackson, Sr., better known by his stage name, Ice Cube. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Sports1 Comment

Chamberlain’s Army (Parody of “Oliver’s Army”)

Chamberlain’s Army (Parody of “Oliver’s Army”)

Disclaimer:

I have tried to write an alternative to Elvis Costello’s “Oliver’s Army,” under parody and fair use, as a tribute to Costello’s song.

As someone from Northern Ireland, my reading of the original song is that in in times of armed conflict, practically no-one gains anything.

No disrespect to Elvis Costello and the Attractions, or any other form of presumption, is intended. I also do not anticipate or imply any endorsement, criticism, or other value judgment on the part of the original song writers and performers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Music0 Comments

Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (VIDEOs)

Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (VIDEOs)

There are those who quake in their boots at the thought of upsetting sweaty North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. We are not among them.

Thumbing our noses is the least of what we’re doing. Unlike “The Interview” ours will be a non-stop biting satire. We’re not focused primarily on the American’s involvement, but almost exclusively on those within North Korea.

It’s a hermit Kingdom and it’s a fascinating place. Very little news gets out but our team of writers has been hammering on this to craft a clever script. We’ve amassed a hell of a crew and we’re planning to start shooting actual screen footage in the next ten days.

If you like the project, consider kicking in even a few bucks on GoFundMe and help us get this thing off the ground.

Watch our GoFundMe.com Promo Video



Then Watch Our Screen Test Which Shows We Can Make a Huge Explosion



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Posted in Internets Tubes, Video News5 Comments

Donald Trump’s Diary Released

Donald Trump’s Diary Released

“Trump filed the suit against Palm Beach County last week, claiming his history of conflict with Palm Beach International Airport has led officials to spitefully redirect air traffic over his historic Mar-a-Lago estate in south Florida.”
– USA Today – January 13, 2015

“Once again, Donald Trump claims he’s flirting with a run for the White House.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Celebrity Gossip0 Comments

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

The Apocalypse is close at hand. The signs of the times are showing themselves. I am sure that there is a verse in Revelations that says “…and verily all the good comedians will leave the scene and only darkness shall thereafter be manifest…”.

Jon Stewart, primary televised purveyor of jokes and satirist extraordinaire for the entire western hemisphere has announced that he will be leaving his job at The Daily Show sometime this year. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Television0 Comments

Publication of “The Brian Williams Story” Nixed

Publication of “The Brian Williams Story” Nixed

Excerpts from “The Brian Williams Story”, a rumored biography that will now apparently never see print:

November 9, 1989
“All I can say is that it was an honor and a thrill to be the only major American news anchor on site when the Berlin Wall fell. It was a combination of good luck and astute planning that put me there that night so that I could report this major event back home to our NBC viewing audience. Or maybe it was Tom Brokaw. The important thing is that we were there.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Television0 Comments

Kanye West is a Breadophile! Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys!

Kanye West is a Breadophile! Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys!

Los Angeles, California – Underfilled baskets, uncooked breadsticks and inappropriate butterings. These were the truths revealed by rapper, Kanye West, this past Sunday at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards in the Staples Center.

The man who crashed Taylor Swift’s award reception at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards arrived in a stretch limo and entered the building with a guest he introduced as Kim Karbatchian. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Music0 Comments

Katy Perry Spent a Lot Of Time Contemplating Her Super Bowl Act

Katy Perry Spent a Lot Of Time Contemplating Her Super Bowl Act

“Maybe I should do a French Kiss with another superstar like Brittany Spears and Madonna did. I wonder if Taylor Swift would be available for that? Or should I do an underwear-less limo exit like Brittany did that one time? That got a lot of coverage.”

A lot of money and concern is spent by performers and by the NFL alike preparing for the biggest sporting event and one of the biggest entertainment shows of the year in the U.S. Almost anything goes for this colossal showcase which mixes the two key elements that made America great — show business and football. Almost anything… Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Sports Events4 Comments

Harper Lee to publish sci-fi inspired “To Kill a Mockingbird” sequel

Harper Lee to publish sci-fi inspired “To Kill a Mockingbird” sequel

Over 50 years after her last novel, it was announced today that reclusive author Harper Lee will have a new title gracing bookshelves later this year.

Mockingbird II: The Revenge is currently set for a blockbuster Summer 2015 release. Asked why the decision to release a sequel now after so many years, Lee responded simply with the word, “cash.”

A graphic companion novel entitled 2 Kill 2 Mockingbirdz is also rumored to be in the works, as well as a Mockingbird-themed mobile app for iOS and Android. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Talky Pictures1 Comment

John McCain Wants My Money, Assumes I’m (Fiscally?) Retarded

John McCain Wants My Money, Assumes I’m (Fiscally?) Retarded

Oh Johnny Mac, you were once a man of principle. Now you’re not even a man of interest.

With a subject line of “Get out of here, you low-life scum”. Oh this, promises to be great.

What follows from there is an avalan-tsunami-cane of red meat pandering lies. Not the usual half-truths, mind you, but outright lies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics0 Comments

Banned Fiat Super Bowl Commercial Raised Eyebrows, Hackles

Banned Fiat Super Bowl Commercial Raised Eyebrows, Hackles

‘Tis the season when marketers go the extra mile and even passive fans stick to their TVs, even if just to watch the commercials.

Fiat ran a clever commercial this year, but it was nothing close to the one they originally wanted to show.

Italians, man. I can’t speak directly to their cars, marketing or choice in leading ladies, but I can say this was a pretty clever ad in its original form. Continue Reading

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Posted in Television, Video News0 Comments

Did I Bake That? Jaleel White Reprises Role in Upcoming Sequel

Did I Bake That? Jaleel White Reprises Role in Upcoming Sequel

Burbank, California – The Olive Garden is rising from the grave in the newest sitcom premiering in March on Fox from Executive Producer, Tyler Perry.

The new show, Family Platters, is a sequel to the 90s hit, Family Matters, that ran for 9 seasons and 215 episodes between 1989 and 1998.

“It’s exciting!” Said Reginald VelJohnson, who is ecstatic to reprise his role as Carl Winslow.

“The whole cast really became close on the set of the original show and after getting the call from Tyler Perry that we were going to be filming a Tyler Perry reproduction of a Tyler Perry production, we all had smiles on our faces,” VelJohnson added. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Television0 Comments

2014’s Biggest Douchebag of the Year — Dan Bilzerian

2014’s Biggest Douchebag of the Year — Dan Bilzerian

Douchebags. Everyone gets their fair of share of douchebags in life, from the fleeting obnoxious ones that drive past you in their pimped out Ford Fiestas in a flurry of LEDs and screeching tyres, to the annoying ones who just have to tell everyone at the party about how they once played beer pong for 5 hours straight. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Internets Tubes2 Comments

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