Obama Pardons Black Turkey: Bojangles will live to loot another day
Obama’s first Post Ferguson pardon occurred Thursday, and just like everything else the President does, the act has got him up to his neck in controversy. As is tradition at the White House since 1947, the President pardoned a turkey,…
Poll: Over 50% of US Women Have Been Drugged, Improperly Touched by Cosby
Bill Cosby’s PR nightmare has gotten worse. In addition to the original seven to fourteen women who accused the formerly beloved comedian of sexual assault, more and more women have spoken up in a show of solidarity with their abused…
Enda Kenny Voted World’s Most Charismatic Current Fine Gael Taoiseach
A recent RTE poll, unsurprisingly, has determined that Enda Kenny, despite malicious rumors from irrational and extremist Fianna Fail hooligans™, really is (as none of us really doubted), the World’s Most Charismatic Current Fine Gael Taoiseach. Admittedly, it was a…
ISIS Blows Up U.S. Battleships Maine and Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin
WASHINGTON – The Pentagon announced today that the Islamic State (ISIS) has blown up two American battleships, the Maine and the Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin. Brigadier General Lance Boyle stated: “ISIS was very foolhardy in using weapons of…
Kanye/Cool J: Most Passive-Aggressive Rap Grudge in History
Disclaimer: An earlier version of this was previously published on TheSpoof.com. Still, the warning below about the 21st century’s deadliest rap grudge still bears repeating. Don’t say I never warned you. OK, so right, there’s a lot of jive goin’…
For Once I Agree With The Republicans – Immigration
I am glad Obama is finally standing up to the Republicans who have been kneecapping him since day one of his Presidency. It is just too bad that it isn’t over a better subject- immigration. The truth is- the boat…
Entire Glossy News Team Arrested On False Prostitution Charges (2)
-Peter, great loyalty demands great sacrifice As you found out last time, the entire Glossy News team has been arrested on fake charges for prostitution… Although a certain informer called Wallace Runnymede (who shall remain anonymous, in order to have…
Bread Bath & Beyond Unearths Ancient Toy in Corporate Warehouse
Success in cold storage warehouse construction Cоld ѕtоrаgе wаrеhоuѕеѕ are kеу wауроіntѕ in оur nation’s fооd ѕuррlу аnd dіѕtrіbutіоn nеtwоrk. Due to changes іn thе wау food іѕ processed, mоvеd, bоught аnd consumed, соld storage wаrеhоuѕе соnѕtruсtіоn is top-of-mind…
Widespread Ebola Pandemic Fears A “Huge Confidence Booster” For Previously Modest Ebolavirus
SENEGAL – Explaining that it was, “as surprised as the next viral particle,” about the panic surrounding a potential global Ebola outbreak, EBOV, the virus responsible for Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever, held a press conference this week detailing its seemingly pleasant…
LGBTQQ Community Finally Exhausts Alphabet
It’s finally happened. The non-traditional sexuality and gender communities have exhausted the alphabet in their attempts to include everyone under one umbrella acronym. Starting in the 1990s, those of different sexual persuasions started describing themselves as part of the LGBT…