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Edgy Memes! Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump!

Edgy Memes! Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump!

Mainstream hipster-baiting dad rock legend Peter Gabriel has recently let his resentment, bitterness, and sense of working class hero white disenfranchisement get the better of him. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

Hair, the Rock Musical That Shook The World.

Hair, the Rock Musical That Shook The World.

It was almost 50 years ago that the rock opera ‘Hair’ first appeared on the scene in New York, just preceding the famous ‘Summer of Love’ of 1968.

Having humble beginnings, it played first in a disco way off Broadway, the actors greeting and ushering people in before performing. Continue Reading

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Louis Armstrong & the What-About-Bop

Louis Armstrong & the What-About-Bop

My favorite Louis Armstrong song has to be ‘The What-About-Bop!’

What about, oh yeah, what about!
Everybody love dem what about!

The neocons love it, the Islamists love it!
Everyboy lovin’ dem what about!

Hey baby, hey baby what you whataboutin’ ’bout, girl?
Everybody lovin’ dem what about!

GOP God Squad love it,
Democrat Blame Squad love it,
Everybody lovin’ dem what about!

Got any more verses? Got friends and family who are not easily offended? Add them to the comments below, and the editorial staff will publish them!

Alternatively, send your funny stuff to Brian & Wallace @ Glossy News:

glossynews@gmail.com
wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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Posted in Music, Politics0 Comments

EPIC Album Dream Team: Charles Manson Joins Kanye Turbo Grafx 16 Family!

EPIC Album Dream Team: Charles Manson Joins Kanye Turbo Grafx 16 Family!

Kanye West has once again surprised his fans and critics alike by announcing plans to collaborate with the infamous serial killer Charles Manson on an upcoming album.

Turbo Grafx 16 promises to be the most edgy and non-conformist albums yet from one of the most creative and innovative stars of rap.

Yet sadly, contrary to persistent rumours in recent times, Kanye West is not collaborating with fellow artistic geniuses Vanilla Ice and Justin Bieber.

So, it really is just Kanye ‘n’ Charles this time! Or as Kanye himself calls him: Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Music4 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (3/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (3/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715963479623147520 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (2/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (2/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715960731255091201 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (1/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (1/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715959324208676864 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Christmas Carol Parody (Once in Royal David’s Tavern)

Christmas Carol Parody (Once in Royal David’s Tavern)

Once in Royal David’s Tavern

Sat a lonely family

Mary, Joseph, and her baby

All alone, on Christmas Day!

 

Joseph sighed and said to Mary

It’s so dull, why don’t we have a beer?

Mary scowled and wagged her finger

There will be no drunkards here! Continue Reading

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Posted in Music0 Comments

Bernie Sanders Forms Anti-Establishment Punk Band

Bernie Sanders Forms Anti-Establishment Punk Band

After being betrayed by the ‘faux progressive’ DNC establishment, Bernie Sanders is trying to console himself by making a radical career change.

He is now fronting a new Patti Smith Tribute Band.

Here’s Bernie now, with his:

Rock ‘n’ Roll Riggers!

***

Bernie was a maverick,
Bernie was a bro!
Bernie got votes and then Bernie got bigger…
Bernie got something, Hillary got more!
Bernie was betrayed by the DNC riggers Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Politics0 Comments

Jay Z Drops “The Bananas Gloat Song.” Goes Viral

Jay Z Drops “The Bananas Gloat Song.” Goes Viral

“Kanye! Kaaaaaanye! Daylight come and you won’t go home….” Continue Reading

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Posted in Music2 Comments

Trump Taps Kanye West as Next Press Secretary

Trump Taps Kanye West as Next Press Secretary

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment, Music, Politics, Strange People7 Comments

Morsi’s Democracy (Song Parody, NSFW)

Morsi’s Democracy (Song Parody, NSFW)

This parody of ‘Chinese Democracy’ by Guns ‘n’ Roses is dedicated to everyone who has ever stood up to political Islamists. 

If the theocrats really do believe hellfire exists, then every moment of their life should be one of the utmost terror and foreboding.

Hellfire awaits the Jihadi

Gonna find out for yourself

Endless torment, Jihadi

You’re gonna leave this world,

Cast down forever below the earth

 

Rotten pigfucking missionary

Crack-smoking Dawahmongering visionary

Hatin’ on them pesky gays ‘n’ Jews

Hellfire is for those who lose

I know that you’re a worthless prick

An enchanting story-peddling dick

Blame it on the Coptic guys

You will meet your end and greet the flames of hell now

 

Yeah subhuman vermin shit like you

Gonna win your virgins by raping?

But even with a little dried-up dick

All you got left is masturbation

I’m gonna gas the rats, is it really really such a crime?

 

Your bullshit don’t really matter

You’ll discover hellfire for yourself

No you don’t really matter

So you can hear your judgment from

Somebody else

 

Cause it would take longer than eternity

To consummate your vile damnation

Even with your tearful eyes

Satan smirks at your masturbation but all you got is

Damnation for all time

 

Your bullshit don’t really matter

You’ll discover hellfire for yourself

No you don’t really matter

So you can hear your judgment from

Somebody else

 

Keep your broke-ass lil fuck puppet locked up inside

Beat her, choke her, rape her, hear your children cry

She’ll come and haunt you in your prison cell

And she’ll choke you! Blazing barbed wire in hell

Nothing can ever make you stop

Hell’s torments, he screams, your eyes will pop

No more hypocrite’s repentance

Cos you’re forever out of time!

 

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Posted in Music, World News0 Comments

What the Presidential Candidates Are Doing—Right This Moment

What the Presidential Candidates Are Doing—Right This Moment

With the Election mercifully only hours away, the three major candidates (and one cameo candidate) are done putting the final touches on their respective Frankenstein campaigns. Using an unholy combination of satanic ritual coupled with classified NSA technology that hasn’t been leaked just yet, GlossyNews is pleased to reveal what each candidate is doing right this moment.

Gary Johnson–Libertarian:

1) Imagining there is a zero behind his poll numbers.

2) Revisiting his debate points and pretending he actually rated debating.

3) Regretting deleting all his porn.

4) Listening to Kaleo–“Way Down We Go” while he slowly rocks back and forth.

5) Applying for Canadian citizenship.

Hillary Clinton–Democrat:

1) Pondering how to gracefully never invite Beyonce and Jay Z to the White House. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Politics, Top Stories2 Comments

Hey Hey Donald Hey! (With Apologies to Bill Frederick’s: Hey Hey LBJ!)

Hey Hey Donald Hey! (With Apologies to Bill Frederick’s: Hey Hey LBJ!)

Hey Hey Donald Hey,
How many casinos did you lose today?
Gonna file for bankruptcy and lose your dollars now, oh, boy!
Donald Trump has eager hands to grab another bargain,
She runs off and tells the mob that Donald Trump is lying!
Hey Hey Donald Hey,
How many women did you lose today?
Gonna be a felon now and go to prison now, oh, boy!

Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music, Top Stories0 Comments

“To be Finished Would be a Relief”: Solving the Mystery of Cameron’s Resignation Song

“To be Finished Would be a Relief”: Solving the Mystery of Cameron’s Resignation Song

The end of David Cameron’s tenure as Prime Minister was a hectic one to say the least. With the country practically imploding after Brexit, Cameron had to take the blame for the emerging crisis. But when Cameron started humming a tune after his resignation speech (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gz6mZYxS0A) it made matters more amusing, but also sent the internet and media into a craze of wild guesses: what was Cameron humming?

Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Politics0 Comments

9/11 Problems (Video & Lyrics Together!)

9/11 Problems (Video & Lyrics Together!)

If you’re having Bush problems I feel bad for you son

I got 9/11 problems but a Clinton ain’t one!

Bush dirty rat drop bombs on Iraqi foes

Kill a million US soldiers cause he’s the boss ya know Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

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