Archive | Music

Man Buys First CD in 12-Years; It’s Macklemore

Man Buys First CD in 12-Years; It’s Macklemore

Mock as you will, but first consider that the man in question is me, and I literally haven’t bought a CD in 12 years. Why the hell would I?

I’m not saying I’m a pirate, because I’m not. Perhaps I’ve had some pirate-adjacent tendencies since the advent of every program that emerged in the wake of Napster’s shutdown. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music2 Comments

Tech N9ne gets Shady, Leaves Strange

Tech N9ne gets Shady, Leaves Strange

After 16 years of being strange to the hip hop scene Kansas City, MO rapper Tech N9ne leaves the label he created.

Tech, whose real name is Aaron Yates has sold over two million albums and has had his music featured in film, television, and video games. Now after all hes built he’s ready to move on with another label.

“You know that there are billions of stars in the universe. But the star had quite a difficult time shining amongst all the other stars.” Says Yates.

After signing an undisclosed deal with Eminem’s Shady Empire. “Eminem is a complete emcee to me,” Tech N9ne says in an interview XXL.

“He’s a complete emcee, man. Not everybody lets you in. I’m one of the ones that lets you in. Personal life and everything. There’s no personal stuff about him because he’s the most lyric flipping motherf***er in the world like he is. But he has substance, as well. I really like that. I really like people that can let people in.”

Let in is just what Marshall Mathers has now done with Yates. Signing the undisclosed deal will finally take him out of the rap underground and propel him into the mainstream. Fellow label mates of Strange have been taking away from the aging rappers spotlight and he feels this is his way to take the crown.

N9ne said, “Just me and him on a song, ’cause I think he’s one of the dopest rappers out there, and I wanna hear how I sound next to one of the dopest motherfookahs I’ve heard. I’ve worked with some of his homies, Proof, Slaughterhouse, D12, all of ‘em. He’s the only one left. Even Yelawolf. I worked with all them mothrafrackers. He’s the only one left.” until now.

Sources say the deal is for a collaboration album with the Detroit king of rap. Meaning the king of the underground and the king of mainstream will be taking over. Expect to see a press release from the rappers Strange imprint by Monday. Yates wont be stepping down as CEO of strange just adding himself a little Shady.

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music5 Comments

Nintendo 1 ups Rapper

Nintendo 1 ups Rapper

Michigan rapper gets no option to continue with “Super Mario World” themed clothing idea. “Its down the tubes like Mario i guess” says $Paid (Pronounced Spade) unsigned recording artist and part owner of Street Made Entertainment.

The Facebook rhymer got a cease and desist order served to him over a litigation from a possible t shirt idea featuring what looks like the Super Mario World theme. Continue Reading

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Styx Suing Radio Stations

Styx Suing Radio Stations

Los Angeles, CA—Frustrated with their current lot in life, 1970’s arena rock stars Styx are suing over 420 classic rock radio stations.

A lawsuit was filed in federal court in Los Angeles on Monday alleging financial fraud. We caught up with the band’s lead singer Tommy Shaw who was in rehearsal at the WinnaVegas Casino in Sloan, Iowa. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Music41 Comments

Former MTV Host Arrested For Breaking Into Sirius/XM Headquarters

Former MTV Host Arrested For Breaking Into Sirius/XM Headquarters

New York City – Mark Goodman, a former VJ from the 1980’s heyday of MTV, was hauled away in handcuffs last week after being caught hitting the button that turns all Sirius/XM radios on, regardless of whether the customer has paid for a subscription to the satellite service or not.

The break-in occurred in Manhattan at the company’s headquarters and when police arrived, Goodman was hitting on a hot, blonde chick in one of the hallways. Continue Reading

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Miley Cyrus Complains About Dwindling Number of Ways to Shock Audiences

Miley Cyrus Complains About Dwindling Number of Ways to Shock Audiences

San Francisco – At a recent concert stop at the “City by the Bay”, pop nuisance Miley Cyrus whined that it’s getting too hard to shock audiences at her shows these days and that Madonna and Lady Gaga have racked up most of the good shock value over the years. Miley feels cheated.

“It’s so hard y’all! I mean, yeah, I’m a freak and all, but I’m running out of ideas that will leave my fans shaking their heads in disgust when they leave my concerts!”

The former Disney airhead went on to say she couldn’t outdo Gaga on outfits so she’s headed the other direction, thinking the less she wears, the better. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music1 Comment

‘American Idol’ Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run

‘American Idol’ Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run

Los Angeles – Ryan Seacrest announced this morning that, due to former American Idol finalist Clay Aiken’s close results in his bid to win a congressional seat in North Carolina, the show would transition to a clearinghouse for all future politicians.

“These kids can sing so why shouldn’t they lead our country too?”

RIGHT: January 20, 2021, President Aiken and his Cabinet. (CLICK TO ENLARGE.) Image appears courtesy of Steve Ryan at ElectricUnderpants.com.

Seacrest grinned while thinking of the possibilities, “I can envision a country where Carrie Underwood would be the hottest Secretary of State we’ve ever had. Are you telling me all world leaders wouldn’t shut up and listen when she walked into a room? Come on!” Continue Reading

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New Study: Fat Bottomed Girls May Not ‘Make the Rockin’ World Go Round’ After All

New Study: Fat Bottomed Girls May Not ‘Make the Rockin’ World Go Round’ After All

Ithaca, NY – After years of tireless research at Cornell University, professors have released a study that brings into question the long-accepted fact the late great Freddie Mercury, from the rock band Queen, proclaimed to the world – Fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round.

For decades, scientists went along with the wisdom that Mr. Mercury espoused in his song of the same name. But recently, many in the field of physics and astronomy have begun quietly questioning whether the lyrics are actually true in the real world or not. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music6 Comments

Alanis Morissette, Sarah Jessic Paker in Horse Alliance Leaked

Alanis Morissette, Sarah Jessic Paker in Horse Alliance Leaked

The biggest name in 90s femimusic has been linked with the biggest name in subsription-only television faux drama. Akabus Morissette and Sarah Jessica Parker have not only come out as lebians, but as equine-Canadiamericans at that.

In an announcement that shocked literally twos of soulless Hollywood star chasers, multi-platinum recording artst Alanis Morrissette has come out as a lesbian, a self-proclaimed “Canadian” and a conveneint lesbian. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

Aretha Franklin Chills Satireverse

Aretha Franklin Chills Satireverse

Damn. Those are some big mammies. We’re talking motor yacht and a snorkel.

[SOURCE 1] and [SOURCE 2].

Some people just can’t take a joke…

I don’t get this one. If anyone should feel slighted it’s LaBelle, who the article states was arrested. Franklin is going to have a tough time proving damages. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Music, Top Stories1 Comment

Lady Gaga Responds To Criticism Over Head Defecation Stunt

Lady Gaga Responds To Criticism Over Head Defecation Stunt

The Internet exploded with criticism Friday after a performance by Lady Gaga at the NSFW Music Festival in Winslow, Arizona, in which a homeless man wet defecated on her head.

Gaga was premiering the title track to her new album “Derelique” when halfway through the song Gaga sat on the stage and a pantless, dirty man in tattered clothing pulling a shopping cart straddled her head and oozed what appeared to be several gallons of a brown, chunky liquid over her head, face and body. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Music12 Comments

Jack and Diane Embroiled in Bitter Divorce

Jack and Diane Embroiled in Bitter Divorce

Back in 1982 a little ditty about Jack and Diane went viral making them household names and catapulting them into music immortality. Symbolizing small town kids living the American Dream of the late 20th century, the years have not been kind to the couple, who recently announced their plans to divorce.

Growing up in the Bible Belt and lacking even the most basic of sex education, the couple confessed to believing the rhythm method involved “just doing it real slow.”

Now 10 children, 14 grandchildren and one great grandchild later, they have decided to call it quits and separately do as they please. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music4 Comments

Bieber Fans Rejoice After Pizza Grease Reveals Deceased Singer’s Image

Bieber Fans Rejoice After Pizza Grease Reveals Deceased Singer’s Image

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Justin Bieber fans everywhere celebrated the passing of arguably the greatest performer in American history this weekend when pizza grease on a napkin at BoBo’s Pizza Kitchen in South Philadelphia revealed a clear image of the late star.

“I actually had a heart attack when I looked down and saw the image in front of me,” said longtime pizza lover and Bieber fan, Martin Slomvieskewicz, as he was being released from the hospital after a two day stay on Monday.

“It was like he was speaking to me from beyond the grave and it was the best and worst moment of my life. Ouch!” Added Slomvieskewicz. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music2 Comments

Denver’s Offensive Playbook Found!

Denver’s Offensive Playbook Found!

Rutherford, New Jersey – Following the Denver Broncos horrific 43-8 loss in Super Bowl XLVIII to the Seattle Seahawks at MetLife Stadium, fans were left scratching their heads trying to determine what happened to the NFL’s top ranked offense that averaged 37.9 points-per-game in the regular season.

“I think everyone watching knew something was wrong from Denver’s opening play when Manning flubbed the snap,” said Referee James Chicanski after the game. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Sports Events1 Comment

Michael Jackson, Whitney Housten, Reportedly Still Dead

Michael Jackson, Whitney Housten, Reportedly Still Dead

THOUSANDS of social media users were shocked to learn that ‘music legends’ such as Michael Jackson and Whitney Huston are still dead.

The distressing news came throughout the months following the announcement of the pop idols’ deaths.

Mourners took to Twitter and Facebook to share their utter disbelief and heartache over deceased celebrities that they had never met.

One tweet from @lucy_carr5 said: “Literally crying my eyes out listening to ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’. RIP Whitney, heaven has gained another star.” Continue Reading

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Grammy Committee To Require Black Face

Grammy Committee To Require Black Face

Los Angeles, CA – In response to criticism over white artists Macklemore and Lewis winning several rap categories at this weeks Grammy Awards, the Grammy Committee has voted to require white artists winning in traditional black categories such as Rap, R&B and Reggae to wear black face and use the word “mammy” at least 3 times during their acceptance speech.

“The Grammys are sensitive to charges of white privilege in our selection process and believe these changes will go a long way to addressing those issues” said Grammy spokesperson Don White.

RIGHT: Julianna Hough, seen here at her CD Release party, is hoping to get in on the new trend. (CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE)

In addition, the Grammys will require non white winners in Country Music categories to wear overalls and black out half their visible teeth and non Hispanic winners in Latin categories to wear a sombrero and serve tacos at after parties.

(photo note…Al Jolson?)

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