Archive | Music

Empire Danger! High Bombers! (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six!)

Empire Danger! High Bombers! (Song Parody: With Apologies to Electric Six!)

Firebombs in Baghdad!

Fire in the Middle East!

 

Firebombs in Damascus!

Fire rages from the horny beast!

 

Don’t you want to know how to set kids on fire?

It’s my desire, I’m a Tory liar! Continue Reading

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Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward famously sang ‘Don’t Let’s be Beastly to the Germans!’ As always, the dour and humorless were not impressed.

Yeah, Daily Mail link… I know! How things change in a few decades! Continue Reading

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Bono: ‘Concert in Syria? Over My Dead Body, Lad!’

Bono: ‘Concert in Syria? Over My Dead Body, Lad!’

For some time now, people have been wondering whether Bono will be jetting off to Syria and Iraq, in order to single-handedly deliver the beleaguered citizens of these countries from the perils of war.

But he’s not having it!

C’mon lad! Just give us some bloody innovation, would ya? Not going to perform nothing in Syria, so I’m not.

Sure who cares about all this here about embattled autocratic leaders and beleaguered states struggling to find a common life amid the turmoil of age-old religious conflict? Sure if I wanted any of that there, I could just take a quick hike up North! Continue Reading

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Sunstormtroopin’ With Our Leader Captain Murdoch (To the Tune of “Starship Trooping”)

Sunstormtroopin’ With Our Leader Captain Murdoch (To the Tune of “Starship Trooping”)

Sunstormtroopin’ across the Shillaverse

Our dodgy media enterprise and glorious leader Captain Murdoch

Shitstormtroopin’ across the universe

At least we’re not the BBC, gotta helluh private purse!

 

Another immigrant report… Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Music0 Comments

Freddy Mercury “Entirely Unsuitable” for Benjamin Disraeli Biopic

Freddy Mercury “Entirely Unsuitable” for Benjamin Disraeli Biopic

The new Freddie Mercury biopic proceeds apace. Various news reports reminded us of how Sacha Baron Cohen will not be playing the role of Freddie Mercury in this film after all. It seems that Cohen’s vision of the film was that of an anarchic Swiftian livewire, but not everyone agreed with his approach. Classic example of ‘artistic differences.’

http://europe.newsweek.com/sacha-baron-cohen-opens-about-leaving-freddie-mercury-movie-435420?rm=eu

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/leisure/showbiz/14335159.Sacha_Baron_Cohen_reveals_dispute_with_Queen_made_him_quit_playing_Freddie_Mercury_in_upcoming_biopic/ 

But Brian May has recently revealed that Freddie Mercury once found himself in a very similar situation for the previously little known Francis Ford Coppola biopic of Disraeli. The latter edgy arthouse flick, by now, is ignobly confined to late night History Channel re-runs and David Cameron’s ludicrously antiquated and irrelevant stash of Betamax Z-movies.

The director had high hopes for Freddie, but before long, tempers started fraying. Disraeli was known for his ‘top bants’ in Parliament, as is well enough known… Continue Reading

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Song Parody: Gimme Gimme Gimme Jihad After Midnight

Song Parody: Gimme Gimme Gimme Jihad After Midnight

Just past prayers
And I’m watching haram movies in my flat all alone
How I hate to make this Dua on my own
Howling winds
Blowing outside my bowels as I munch some shrooms
And it makes me really want to make a boom

My soul is nearly there
I grunt and offer up a prayer
I twitch my brow like Tony Blairrrrr!

Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
Won’t somebody help me blast the kafrs away
Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
End Satan’s reign of terror, begin the Caliphate’s day

Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
Won’t somebody help me blast the kafrs away
Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
I’m so sick of this oppression from the Jews and the gays Continue Reading

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Strange Things Happen When You Have a Rock Band With Dave Barry And Stephen King In It. Maybe A Little Too Strange……

Strange Things Happen When You Have a Rock Band With Dave Barry And Stephen King In It. Maybe A Little Too Strange……

It all started very normally. It was a usual, quiet evening with the Rock Bottom Remainders setting up their equipment for another gig.

OK, actually, the Rock Bottom Remainders are not really so very normal. Their roster is made up of all famous literary and artistic people like Dave Barry the humor writer, Stephen King the horror novelist, Amy Tan the fictionalist, Mitch Albom an author, Matt Groening the creator of the Simpsons and Ray Blount Jr. another humor writer. Together they equal fully half of the literary output of the entire United States with King supplying the entire creative output of the state of Maine. And, yes, this is a real group. And they really do go around and perform together. Honest!!! Continue Reading

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Bono & Peter Gabriel Slam Wagner: ‘Don’t Separate the Man from the Music!’ (2/2)

Bono & Peter Gabriel Slam Wagner: ‘Don’t Separate the Man from the Music!’ (2/2)

Bono continues:

No. If someone is an artist, it has to come as a whole package. Please, please, please, I beg and implore on the utmost bended knees of my soul and the deepest quivering palms of my heart:

Don’t misguidedly and ignorantly logic-chop and be selective, and say ‘I like this bit but not that bit.’

Yes, how about we just all recognise in our minds and more crucially still, in our hearts and innermost tender marrow of our souls, the essential spiritual unity and cosmic oneness of creation and of every creative person?

I can say to you now and forever: Continue Reading

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Bono & Peter Gabriel Slam Wagner: ‘Don’t Separate the Man from the Music!’ (1/2)

Bono & Peter Gabriel Slam Wagner: ‘Don’t Separate the Man from the Music!’ (1/2)

Many music critics view Wagner’s music as problematic because of the composers’ anti-Semitic views. And yet, some argue that his classic works of opera are somehow separable from his hatred of Jewish people.

However, not everyone agrees that this is a reasonable view; or in some cases, even a reasonable question to ask!

So, we’ve asked a couple of real music experts (not some pathetic, pedantic, mainstream, dusty old music critics), to give their two (million) cents worth on this one.

Peter Gabriel

Anyone who says you have to “separate the man from the music” is a very, very dangerous person, to my mind.

I mean, don’t listen to these pedantic, upper-crust artistic celebrities and flamboyant, prima donna play-actors who are merely collaborating with the rich and powerful of this world, while pretending to speak up for the marginalised.

Well, guess what? They’re only in it for themselves. And deep down, they know it!

Continue Reading

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Surveillance Race! Surveillance Race! Parody Tribute to Motorhead’s Lemmy

Surveillance Race! Surveillance Race! Parody Tribute to Motorhead’s Lemmy

Lemmy is already giving ‘em hell down there! A true legend, and I really hope he would have liked this one.

Meme above sourced from: http://www.quickmeme.com/lemmy-1

If you are a hacker, and a freedom-loving man
Woman, child, poor, rich, all the same to me
The pleasure is to play, and punk the NSA
Surveillance Race! Surveillance Race!

Surfed another data flow, reached another level
Mainframe walls are gonna blow, it’s all a game to me,
Storm the gates of Heaven, Big Data is Watching You
I ain’t gonna quit, NSA ain’t got shit!
Surveillance Race! Surveillance Race! Continue Reading

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Frank Turner Song Parody: Tony F***ed the Country!

Frank Turner Song Parody: Tony F***ed the Country!

Whatever happened to Britain?
It’s like we’re scared of phantom enemies to the point of bedpissin’
Even if the danger is minor
The press and gov scaremonger
With their endless agitprop bullshit!

Yo, bigot! Anyone who looks less white than you
Makes you wonder if they’re immigrants or Muslims or Jews
But I’m tired of the endless hatred
And yet the media hacks are always stirring shit! Continue Reading

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Weirder Than A Stephen King Novel – A Rock Band With King and Dave Barry In It. Let Me Introduce You To The Rock Bottom Remainders!!!

Weirder Than A Stephen King Novel – A Rock Band With King and Dave Barry In It. Let Me Introduce You To The Rock Bottom Remainders!!!

Unannounced to most of us, one of the most incredible rock and roll groups has passed before us and we didn’t even notice it. Maybe most of us were too stoned to catch it.

This group was named The Rock Bottom Remainders and should have made the cover of the Rolling Stone except for one problem- it was made up of mostly literary figures. The thought of listening to people involved heavily with books and articles is enough to send most hard core rockers into a catatonic state. Stephen King, of course, is famous for his many best selling horror stories such as Carrie, The Dead Zone, Cujo and so many others that he himself cannot remember all of them. Dave Barry is the famed humor writer who won the Pulitzer Prize for his hilarious newspaper columns and has written several best selling books himself. (One wonders what the Pulitzer Prize statuette for humor looks like- clowns jumping out of a golden Volkwagen Beetle?) Continue Reading

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A3 Song Parody: Torybums Said

A3 Song Parody: Torybums Said

The original song by A3 quotes texts which have made available by the Jonestown Foundation. Jim Jones was a fanatic. It’s also fanatical to gut welfare when so much money is wasted on pointless vanity projects. Next time UK elects a Prime Minister, hopefully it will be a government with more character.
***

Pray don’t ever say we are your enemies. My noble benevolence has practically caused me to just get you destroyed. If I had squeezed you a little more, just a little bit more, we would have had a little less trouble.

Yes, you have a social conscience. Idealism! But don’t say ‘Dearest Tory-bums is my enemy!’ Eh? What’s that, oh do calm down, darling. Hearken unto me, chicken: ‘Greed is my enemy and I’ve got to fight for liberty day and night!’ And, ‘what else is death, other than liberty’ is the line. Liberty is the only way?

UTTER PIGGY-POO! FIDDLESTICKS, OLD BEAN! William Tyndale died for his liberty! Emmeline Pankhurst died for her liberty! The pleb scum of Wat Tyler died roaring about balderdash the rustic filth just couldn’t understand, and they never even stood their ground! Hacked down by the sword! Continue Reading

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Putin & ISIS: Tyranny’s Latest Flamboyant Supergroup

Putin & ISIS: Tyranny’s Latest Flamboyant Supergroup

Universally beloved plastic pop enterprise X Factor has finally lost its shine.

Yup! No-one ever believed this classic of early 21st century manufactured inanity would ever end up being discredited by a flamboyant and sexually doubting, um, sexually dubious former KGB Lenin lookalike…

But such is life!

Or as Louis Walsh would no doubt belt out in his cups:

‘C’est la Vie!’

Still, the hidden hand of the music industry has guided the nation of Russia to unanticipated progress; all by means of mere individual self-interest!

Yes, just see this storming (not to say stormtrooping!) video of Russia’s most swishiest Elton John admirer for proof: Continue Reading

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GOP God Caucus ‘Patti Smith Cover’ Proves Riot Grrrl Credentials

GOP God Caucus ‘Patti Smith Cover’ Proves Riot Grrrl Credentials

The GOP’s God Caucus, not to be confused with the voluminous and highly visible, achingly secular GOP majority (about 99% or so!), are keen to prove their feminist credentials once more.

Still, up to now, all their other highly conspicuous social reachouts (let alone their highly non-conspicuous socialist reacharounds!) have been abject failures, so hey…

What’s the worst that can happen?

But unfortunately, Mike Huckabee isn’t participating in the GOP cover version of Patti Smith’s Gloria.

Still, to give all due credit (such as such credit may be), he does think the lyrics are a little provocative and inflammatory, and he doesn’t believe in unnecessarily stirring the s*** in order to cause needless offense.

… As (not-so-non!-)recent events have undoubtedly proven once more!

 G-O-P-I-A: JESUS JUDGES ALL YOUR SINS BUT NOT MINE      

Jesus judges all your sins but not mine

Socialists are all thieves

Shameless widow tuggin’ at our godly ol’ sleeves

Rebuking with a face like stone

Your selves are my own

You belong to me…

ME!

Continue Reading

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Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash! (2/2)

Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash! (2/2)

Last time:

Ok, so we’ve had the first Black President and the final Democratic President in one go. But our nation has never really had a final Republican President, maybe that’s what we’re missing?

IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS BOBBY!

How long do people have to wait? I’m not ashamed to say this is my idea…

IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS BOBBY!

Still, you don’t have to have an electric deckchair in your back garden, a taste for shooting innovative cinematic productions, or indeed a love of gunning the hell out of noisy ducks and whiny foxes and… Continue Reading

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