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Weird Al Sings Love-Lorne Rhapsody

Weird Al Sings Love-Lorne Rhapsody

NEW YORK CITY – Weird Al Yankovic is respected worldwide for his funny and sometimes daring song parodies.

The singer has been going strong for over 35 years, but it appears as if he ran into a bit of trouble earlier this month as he tried to talk his way into performing on Saturday Night Live.

In what some people may believe is an absolute travesty, Weird Al has never once been invited to be on SNL.

Considering he has been around nearly as long as the show has been airing, many fans began rallying for the show’s producer, Lorne Michaels, to invite Weird Al to the set for a performance.

The rallies began early last year as a single handwritten petition was passed from fan to fan, beginning in Weird Al’s hometown of Los Angeles, and working its way to the East Coast since January.

Once the smudged, crumpled and vomit-stained single piece of paper made its way to the Big Apple earlier this month, it contained nearly 50,000 signatures – nearly 30% of which had to be written in invisible ink due to lack of space. It was dropped on Lorne Michaels’ desk in the first week of June, but neither Weird Al nor his agent have been contacted by SNL.

“We just can’t believe that, despite the support we’ve received, we still haven’t received an invitation,” remarked Yankovic’s agent, Frye Basquette. “Weird Al has contributed enough to American culture to the point where he should at least be considered for a musical appearance on the show.”

If Weird Al were to be invited, it would be his first appearance. In 2012, Yankovic was impersonated by ultra-hack Andy Samberg, who generated exactly three laughs during his entire eight-season tenure on the show. The parody of the parody-man was generally well-received by Weird Al, but he believed it was time for a well-deserved invite.

“Al stayed up all night and wrote a song that he thought would sway Lorne in our direction,” added Basquette. “He centered the song around two of the most well-respected and talented cast members of the past 25 years. “

The song, entitled “(Sittin’ On) The Rock of the Fey,” which directly parodied soul machine Otis Redding’s 1968 orgasmatronic smash hit “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay,” was written to try and raise his appeal to Michaels, who was looking desperately for talent to save his tanking maelstrom of a show. But apparently, Michaels has so far completely ignored Weird Al’s clever creation, which contains lyrics such as:

“Sittin’ on the Rock of the Fey,

Wishin’ that I was on Saturday,

Sittin’ on the Rock of the Fey,

Wastin’ this career of mine”

It has yet to be determined whether or not Yankovic will be noticed by Michaels, but so far it does not look good. Michaels has a reputation for either exclusively inviting guests or accepting guest proposals within three-tenths of a second.

Weird Al’s petition and proposal have been in the hands (or trash cans) of SNL executives for weeks now, so the rally and single-sheet petition may have been a total waste. Record executives and fans have both shared their disdain in recent weeks.

“I’m really disappointed,” said Weird Al super-fan Donna Battaccia. “I’ve been listening to Weird Al for most of my life and I think he deserves at least a three minute set on such an influential yet recently-crappy television program.”

The song parody has drawn direct attention from Chris Rock and Tina Fey, the two former cast members who Weird Al pays homage to in the song. A cover was even designed for the single, which includes a clever depiction of Fey and Rock as natural features, with Weird Al sitting on and adjacent to the two SNL stalwarts, Rock and Fey, respectively.

There’s no clear answer as to why Weird Al has not been invited after 35 years in the business. Perhaps SNL executives have something against bringing a competing comedian and parody-man into their world for a night or perhaps the vomit-stained petition grossed out Michaels and his cronies.

No matter the case, the world continues to wonder why the artist of classics such as “It’s All About the Pentiums,” “Eat It” and “Amish Paradise” has not made an appearance on one of the world’s biggest comedy stages.

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Posted in Entertainment, Music2 Comments

KKK Tell us What Real Rap is All About

KKK Tell us What Real Rap is All About

Previous version published on thespoof.co.uk, entitled: “KKK: Underground Rap A-OK, but ONLY Underground Rap.”

Well hey, some classics just bear repeating. You can’t seriously tell me my remixes are inferior to those of, say, Axwell and all those dudes.

The Ku Klux Klan has made a somewhat peculiar (and not necessarily entirely sincere?) attempt to find black supporters and allies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Strange People, Top Stories1 Comment

Chamberlain’s Army (Parody of “Oliver’s Army”)

Chamberlain’s Army (Parody of “Oliver’s Army”)

Disclaimer:

I have tried to write an alternative to Elvis Costello’s “Oliver’s Army,” under parody and fair use, as a tribute to Costello’s song.

As someone from Northern Ireland, my reading of the original song is that in in times of armed conflict, practically no-one gains anything.

No disrespect to Elvis Costello and the Attractions, or any other form of presumption, is intended. I also do not anticipate or imply any endorsement, criticism, or other value judgment on the part of the original song writers and performers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Music0 Comments

Kanye West is a Breadophile! Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys!

Kanye West is a Breadophile! Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys!

Los Angeles, California – Underfilled baskets, uncooked breadsticks and inappropriate butterings. These were the truths revealed by rapper, Kanye West, this past Sunday at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards in the Staples Center.

The man who crashed Taylor Swift’s award reception at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards arrived in a stretch limo and entered the building with a guest he introduced as Kim Karbatchian. Continue Reading

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One Direction Alters Name in Honor of Extinct Restaurant Chain

One Direction Alters Name in Honor of Extinct Restaurant Chain

New York City –

“Olive Garden you light up my tummy like nobody else,
The way your breadsticks are buttered gets me overwhelmed,
When I’m docile and out of pounds it ain’t hard to tell,
You don’t go,
Oh, oh,
You always know your baskets full”

These are lyrics from the band’s newest song “What Makes Your Baskets Full” as performed for the first time on Saturday Night Live this past weekend, honoring the beloved restaurant chain that featured never-ending breadstick baskets that once came complimentary with the purchase of any entree or as part of the soup and salad lunch option.

Following the appetizingly delicious performance, the band announced they will now be known as Bun Direction or BD for short, in honor of the creature that roamed the earth for more than 32 years before succumbing to extinction early last year.

“It’s been a long time coming,” said Saturday Night Live’s creator, Lorne Michaels, from his New York City office he had customized to resemble an authentic Olive Garden restaurant. “I had been in touch with the band’s managers last year when the Olive Garden left our world and it was just a matter of timing as the band’s members loved putting the long and narrow items in their mouths more than anyone else,” Michaels added.

In addition to the updated number they plan on adding to their next album, Bake Me Home, expected to be released in March, Bun Direction has already been asked to perform at the Brit Awards on February 25th in their hometown of London (backyard for Niall James Horan who is from Ireland).

“Every time we sing this song, we can taste the smooth, buttery flavor on our lips,” the band said collectively in a recent interview with Alton Brown, creator and host of the Food Network show, Good Eats. “We hope this song, along with our new name, will ensure that the world will never forget,” the band added.

To download merchandise with the new logo and to download complete lyrics for “What Makes Your Baskets Full” please visit www.onedirectioninabun.com

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Ozzy Osbourne to Host Grammys?

Ozzy Osbourne to Host Grammys?

Los Angeles-The 2014 Grammys featured the smooth talking LL Cool J as host along with his suave NCIS Los Angeles co-star Chris O’Donnell.

Tell grandpa to turn up his hearing aid for the 2015 Grammys, cause we all gonna need some extra volume for this one. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music3 Comments

Kanye/Cool J: Most Passive-Aggressive Rap Grudge in History

Kanye/Cool J: Most Passive-Aggressive Rap Grudge in History

Disclaimer: An earlier version of this was previously published on TheSpoof.com. Still, the warning below about the 21st century’s deadliest rap grudge still bears repeating. Don’t say I never warned you.

OK, so right, there’s a lot of jive goin’ down about the so-called grudge between Tupac and Biggie; however, this mainstream, far-from-edgy storm in a teacup pales in comparison to the biggest, baddest rap grudge in history. Check it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

Tailor Swift Not Bothered By Singer With Similar Name

Tailor Swift Not Bothered By Singer With Similar Name

Wyomissing, Pennsylvania – Professional Tailor, Bill Swift, Owner and Operator of Tailor Swift’s House of Threds, has been an expert at altering clothing since his shop first opened in June of 1979 on the corner of Reading Boulevard and Clayton Avenue in downtown Wyomissing.

Known to the locals as Tailor Swift, he has pleased thousands of customers with his precise and cost efficient tailoring, relying only on word-of-mouth advertising to increase his customer base. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music2 Comments

GlossyNews Exclusive! Meghan Trainor Announces Remix! All About Lance Bass

GlossyNews Exclusive! Meghan Trainor Announces Remix! All About Lance Bass

Nantucket, Massachusetts – Just as she has done since age 11, Meghan Trainor has written and recorded a remix from her personal computer focusing on a new subject that she claims “will make boys and girls melt like warm garlic butter.”

The song utilizes the same rhythm and beat as her most popular song, All About That Bass, except that the new version features her favorite boy-band singer, NSYNC’S Lance Bass.

“We are excited that Meghan has decided to release this remix and we look forward to the song increasing her fan base as well as her downloads,” said Trainor’s Agent, Deb Mosell of the Creative Artists Agency in Los Angeles, California. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Music10 Comments

Belfast Residents Finally Break Silence on 12th of July Nick Minaj Insult

Belfast Residents Finally Break Silence on 12th of July Nick Minaj Insult

Belfast residents have finally made their feelings known (as people up North undoubtedly do best) regarding a little-known sectarian atrocity from the most recent 12th of July…

When a loyalist flute band surrounded a Catholic youth club and started playing Nicki Minaj (!)

An official apology stated:

It was not actually our intention™ to play that there song, but us can appreciate that the young people might’ee thought we did. Our original intention was to play Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love,” because we wanted to make a good cross-community gesture™; I mean, everybody loves Beyoncé; that’s not a Prod or a Catholic thing, aye? Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Music, Religionism0 Comments

Taylor Swift’s “Sh*t List”  Keeps Growing

Taylor Swift’s “Sh*t List” Keeps Growing

The ongoing feud between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry has reached a boiling point that even puts recent ISIS headlines to shame.

This bloody battle, comparable to the likes of Gettysburg, allegedly began over self-proclaimed asshole, John Mayor.

The most recent blow was struck by Swift. Known as America’s sweet tart, she recently accused “someone” of trying to steal several of her back up dancers mid-tour. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music2 Comments

Kelly Clarkson Wants to be First Annoying US President

Kelly Clarkson Wants to be First Annoying US President

It had to happen one day…

We’ve already had the “First Black President™” (a white saxophone player from Arkansas), we’ve had an ACTUAL First Black President™, and there’s been talk of Hillary Clinton being the First Female President™.

I mean, you might have wondered when Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson and Marilyn Manson are casting their hats into the ring… Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

Pat Robertson “Blames” Justin Bieber for Freak Weather Conditions

Pat Robertson “Blames” Justin Bieber for Freak Weather Conditions

After a lull of a few years, Pat Robertson has put his theometerology hat back on again.

Yes… Pastor Pat has yet another new theory to contribute for why the USA has experienced extreme weather conditions in recent years.

How so? Well, it turns out that God is just not a Belieber.

“Well… I don’t want to say for sure whether the Lord is punishing the USA because of this fine young man’s singing.

“I mean, I’m not gonna tell you to whom you shall listen and to whom you shall not. That is your choice, but I will just say this… Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Religionism0 Comments

Man Buys First CD in 12-Years; It’s Macklemore

Man Buys First CD in 12-Years; It’s Macklemore

Mock as you will, but first consider that the man in question is me, and I literally haven’t bought a CD in 12 years. Why the hell would I?

I’m not saying I’m a pirate, because I’m not. Perhaps I’ve had some pirate-adjacent tendencies since the advent of every program that emerged in the wake of Napster’s shutdown. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music2 Comments

Tech N9ne gets Shady, Leaves Strange

Tech N9ne gets Shady, Leaves Strange

After 16 years of being strange to the hip hop scene Kansas City, MO rapper Tech N9ne leaves the label he created.

Tech, whose real name is Aaron Yates has sold over two million albums and has had his music featured in film, television, and video games. Now after all hes built he’s ready to move on with another label.

“You know that there are billions of stars in the universe. But the star had quite a difficult time shining amongst all the other stars.” Says Yates.

After signing an undisclosed deal with Eminem’s Shady Empire. “Eminem is a complete emcee to me,” Tech N9ne says in an interview XXL.

“He’s a complete emcee, man. Not everybody lets you in. I’m one of the ones that lets you in. Personal life and everything. There’s no personal stuff about him because he’s the most lyric flipping motherf***er in the world like he is. But he has substance, as well. I really like that. I really like people that can let people in.”

Let in is just what Marshall Mathers has now done with Yates. Signing the undisclosed deal will finally take him out of the rap underground and propel him into the mainstream. Fellow label mates of Strange have been taking away from the aging rappers spotlight and he feels this is his way to take the crown.

N9ne said, “Just me and him on a song, ’cause I think he’s one of the dopest rappers out there, and I wanna hear how I sound next to one of the dopest motherfookahs I’ve heard. I’ve worked with some of his homies, Proof, Slaughterhouse, D12, all of ‘em. He’s the only one left. Even Yelawolf. I worked with all them mothrafrackers. He’s the only one left.” until now.

Sources say the deal is for a collaboration album with the Detroit king of rap. Meaning the king of the underground and the king of mainstream will be taking over. Expect to see a press release from the rappers Strange imprint by Monday. Yates wont be stepping down as CEO of strange just adding himself a little Shady.

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music5 Comments

Nintendo 1 ups Rapper

Nintendo 1 ups Rapper

Michigan rapper gets no option to continue with “Super Mario World” themed clothing idea. “Its down the tubes like Mario i guess” says $Paid (Pronounced Spade) unsigned recording artist and part owner of Street Made Entertainment.

The Facebook rhymer got a cease and desist order served to him over a litigation from a possible t shirt idea featuring what looks like the Super Mario World theme. Continue Reading

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