EDGY POEM! Spacking Out (Autism v Artistry, The Light Side of a Dark Affliction!)

My jeans are on backwards and tattered legs
Not quite a six-pack, more of a party keg
Don’t need a wingman, don’t need no aid
Think I’ll just sit at home and write dystopia instead

If you think my eyes are brilliant, my rhetoric dazzling
Don’t get too excited love, cos I’m already spazzing
Haven’t even got as far as asking your name
All these scary randos look the fuckin same

Nice shoes, bro! Another lass she flirts
She sees them furrows frown as my gangsta powers revert
Boys don’t take compliments no more! In disgust she moans
She’s getting better action with that chuffin’ feather duster way back ‘ome! Read more EDGY POEM! Spacking Out (Autism v Artistry, The Light Side of a Dark Affliction!)

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WTF?! Clumsy Corbyn Compares “Labour Against Antisemitism” Speech to “Million Hour Long Wagner Opera!” FFS!

Flamboyantly PC bitter 60s throwback Jeremy ‘Jihadi Jez’ Corbyn (not to be confused with bitter 30s throwback Nick Griffin of a rival radical socialist party) has made a surprisingly uncharacteristic gaffe to complement his ‘Zionist Media Conspiracy,‘Jewish Privilege’ and ‘Interalised Goyphobia’ gaffes…

After virtue-attending a Labour Against Antisemitism speech, the well meaning rich white male Islington socialist attempted to find the cosy Blairite middle ground between antisemitism and anti-antisemitism by smugly noting (or at least, more as less as smugly as you can be when you always look half like a cornered feral ferret and half like like a scared rabbit caught in the headlights!):

Well if you’ll forgive me for saying so, this rather reminded me of some million hour long Wagner opera. A few snatches of brilliance, irretrievably buried beneath tons of impenetrable, turgid rambling. Still, I guess the opera ain’t over till the fat Jewish lesbian sings!

As the crowd descended in uproar at the clueless, tone-deaf race-baiting of Clumsy Corbyn, the confused Trot snorted:

Oh, well, do excuse me. Now I did assume that was the most intersectional way I could possibly have put it!

As the symphonic crescendo roared and surged against Labour’s usual antisemitic leitmotifs, Emily Thornberry shrilly shrieked like a wounded swan: Read more WTF?! Clumsy Corbyn Compares “Labour Against Antisemitism” Speech to “Million Hour Long Wagner Opera!” FFS!

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American Cow Pie

Authors Note:

This is a Parody of Don Mclean’s Classic American Pie. I wrote this during the financial crisis at the beginning of the Obama Administration. It’s interesting to look back at how much has changed, and yet, how little has changed. Same old divisive America. I will soon follow up with an updated version of this parody if you’d like.  Let me know in the coments below.

Note from Wallace (editor):

I couldn’t find a non-pirated version of the original, so here is the best I could get. Hope some of you will still enjoy it!

 

Long, long time ago. I can still remember

The Revolution used to make me smile.

I knew that if we had our chance

That we could take this nation back

And maybe we could limp on for a while.

The PATRIOT act made me shiver

Our nation’s fate signed sealed delivered

Bad news on the doorstep

I wouldn’t take one more step.

 

I had the urge to run and hide

When they crumbled up our bill of rights

They’ll come and take you in the night

You’re jailed without a trial

Read more American Cow Pie

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Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

Lady Gaga now regrets the song she did together with the popular pervert, proliferator of pubescent pornography and deflowerer of underage girls and perhaps small furry animals R. Kelly. The Ga now says of her 2013 conjugal ditty that ‘Do What You Want With My Body’ now disturbs her terribly. “Not only did we sing it, we did it.” confessed the singer fresh from her Golden Globe victory with the song “Shallow.” Read more Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

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Tupac Parody! California Liberal (An Ode to White Liberal Guilt)

The White Liberal Community have now released a rap in order to try and justify their ridiculous ideology and attitude.

Interestingly enough, most POC in the United States of America and worldwide have rejected the hypocritical, sactimonious virtue-signalling of this song…

Wonder why!

California know to virtue
California know how to signal
In the city the city of PC
In the city the city of sleazy

Now let me welcome everybody to the White Liberal West
We got white liberal guilt and we got sins to confess
America was never great, and never the best
We oppress everyone cos of their race and their sex
We hate the NRA extremists cos they ain’t PC
Y’all never find a military-grade rifle on me
We’re tolerant, inclusive and we eat organic greens
We readin’ Guardian, Salon, MSNB to the C!
We don’t like intolerance, as you already knew
Don’t lock up ISIS terrorists except maybe a few Read more Tupac Parody! California Liberal (An Ode to White Liberal Guilt)

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Frank Turner Parody: Cameron Fucked The Pigs!

DEDICATED TO ALL OPPONENTS OF BOURGEOIS CENTRISM.

YES, THAT’S RIGHT! I’M BEING NICE THIS TIME…

Whatever happened to dogging?
The pigs are scared now David Cameron’s in the neighbourhood;
His truncheon’s small, deadly and harmful
He’s a nasty sexual deviant Tory shit!
And any little piggy on the farm he sees
Has to run to the farmer with a terrified squeal
They’re all tired of being tired out
Always being molested by Davie’s dangly bits! Read more Frank Turner Parody: Cameron Fucked The Pigs!
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Brexit Disco Classic! Theresa May Little Mix Parody: S/O 2 Mein Ex!

After Ann Widdecomber’s notorious Strictly Come Dancing disaster, centrist Tory Theresa May pulled a Trudeau with some epic Dad dancing in South Africa.

But the UK’s dancing queen has now gone further, and covered universally respected mainstream girlpop collective Little Mix. Let’s give it all up (and how!) for ‘S/O 2 Mein Ex!’

Make sure you click on for more! I promise you are not going to regret it…

Much.
Read more Brexit Disco Classic! Theresa May Little Mix Parody: S/O 2 Mein Ex!

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