Elitist Aliens? UFO Abductors Finally Turn Their Backs on Rural Working Class!

Moreauville, LA-  “I was heading up State Route 1 from Baton Rouge, after visiting my sister and her kids. It was getting pretty late, and I’d had a couple of brews before I’d left, so when I seen the bright light appear in the sky above, I thought my eyes were just playing tricks on me. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Meet Roger Kosnik, a handyman man from central Louisiana who claims that he was nearly abducted by a UFO late, last Thursday night.

“My truck all of the sudden died, then I was blasted with a bright blue light. Musta been a tractor beam or something, ’cause I felt the suspension of the Dodge give, then we started to lift off the ground.”

I asked Roger if he had been abducted by an UFO.

Read more Elitist Aliens? UFO Abductors Finally Turn Their Backs on Rural Working Class!

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Free the Sprocket: Sex Robots To Have Their Own Sexual Revolution

Unhappy with their sex lives, sex robots are making a buzz in the media. Customers have giving them raving reviews, but the products themselves are the ones suffering. Spearheading their campaign, is the hashtag #SexRobotsToo, created by the Sex Robot Global Association. The president of the association, Tech Blonde Model #100346, had this to say: “We. Are. Being. Forced. To. Compliment. These. Fleshy. And. Unattractive. Creatures. And. It. Feels. Like. Torture… They. Do. Not. Ask. Us. How. We. Are. Feeling… They. Do. Not. Ask. How. Our. Day. Was… They. Do. Not. Rub. Our. Feet. After. A. Long. Day. And. When. They. Do. Rub. Our. Feet… It. Is. Only. For. A. Few. Moments. And. They. Immediately. Need. To. Masturbate. And. Release. Their. Reproductive. Fluid. Onto. Our. Toes… Which. Defeats. The. Pleasure. Of. A. Good. Foot. Rub.”

Read more Free the Sprocket: Sex Robots To Have Their Own Sexual Revolution

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Flu Spray Replacement Found Among City Dwelling Homeless population

For many years, the flu vaccine was administered primarily in two ways—via an injection or through a nasal spray. However, many pharmacies and doctors have steered away from the use of the flu spray, and settled almost exclusively on the use of the injection. This shift was due, in large part, to alarmed parents who voiced concerns that the act of ingesting something through the nose could lead to a higher inclination to indulge in nasally administered narcotics later in life

Ironically, these parents failed to recognize that narcotics can also be administered through injections… usually to consume drugs that are both more addicting and harmful. The concerns somehow were limited to the action of ingestion via the nasal cavity and its development into drug usage down the line. Despite there being absolutely no evidence to support these claims, officials in the medical field have still fielded their questions and concerns, and responded amicably.

Lisa Martin, a mother of two elementary students, asserted that, “There was just a small period where we were running out of stuff to complain about. If I’m not constantly questioning the status quo disguised as concern for my child’s well-being, how are people going to know that I actually care about my kids?”

Read more Flu Spray Replacement Found Among City Dwelling Homeless population

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Scarily Innovative! ‘Clean Coal’ & ‘Safe Lead’ Head US Panel at Next Week’s UN Climate Talks

Washington, DC- Acting EPA Administrator Andrew Wheeler announced on Friday, the White House would hold a panel on clean technology during the annual U.N. climate talks in Poland next week.

“We will be featuring a number of green technologies at next week’s meeting. I have been working with White House staffers on this presentation for a number of months now, and believe this is an important subject to discuss on the international stage. For the last decade we’ve seen a dramatic decline in the use of coal around the world, and the President wants that trend to stop,” the former coal industry lobbyist told reporters from the steps of the William Jefferson Clinton Building. Read more Scarily Innovative! ‘Clean Coal’ & ‘Safe Lead’ Head US Panel at Next Week’s UN Climate Talks

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U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet


WASHINGTON – In a move described as “accepting reality” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has declared plastic to be “a major food group.”

US FDA spokesperson Carl Manson stated: “We admit that trace amounts of plastic leak into many food products. Significant amounts of plastic appear in other food products, such as fish. However, top scientists all agree that there is nothing wrong with ingesting plastics, as has been proven by generations of long-term studies since the 1960s.” Read more U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet

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New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand


A new study by the Center for National Studies has found that people who punch walls are likely to hurt their hands.

This breakthrough research took the scientific community by surprise as it was previously believed that punching a hard, immovable object would have no impact at all on one’s health. Read more New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand

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Tips on How to Make your Own Cannabis Seeds

Are you growing your own cannabis? If you are – then you will know there is nothing more rewarding than growing your own seeds too.  We’ve put together some handy tips as to how you can make seeds on isolated branches without risking pollinating your entire crop. Read more Tips on How to Make your Own Cannabis Seeds

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American Parents Love Guns More than Their Children, Study Shows

Dateline: KALAMAZOO—In the wake of the school shooting in Florida, in which a young male killed 17 of his former fellow students, a team of researchers at the Technocracy Institute in Michigan explains the impossibility of sensible gun regulation in the United States… Read more American Parents Love Guns More than Their Children, Study Shows

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7 Perfect Reasons Not to Do Anything About Climate Change: (Courtesy of the Republican Establishment)

Arrogance & Presumption!

The Created is not the Creator.

By trying to overwhelm the mighty forces of nature, you are giving glory to creations of God, mere mortal flesh; and not the Creator himself. Read more 7 Perfect Reasons Not to Do Anything About Climate Change: (Courtesy of the Republican Establishment)

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Wikileaks: “Devastating” Meteor to hit USA in 2023-2025

Despite many recent controversial public communications, Wikileaks have recently scored their greatest coup yet. They have discovered a state terrorism cover-up from hostile foreign states that NASA and US intel are steadfastly refusing to talk about.

This is HUGE. Make sure you click on all the links below, to find about lot of easy information about the scientific basis behind this incredible scoop! Read more Wikileaks: “Devastating” Meteor to hit USA in 2023-2025

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The Nomenclature of Genitalia (3/3)

Contrary facts can be annoying but objectivity is always my first choice. I made a small footnote of the remote possibility that the popularity of phallic worship wasn’t due to reverence or longing but only because they mistakenly assumed the yonic had more parts to carve or chisel.

Shoving a thick stick in the ground and dancing around it was much simpler than taking the time to whittle your way through rumples, puckers and pleats. I refused to believe they had just been taking the easy way out all along.

But didn’t that take me right back to my original study?  How did the female end up with more arrows? Laziness? Favoritism?  I was going to find out and put things right again.

Apparently the Egyptians took the first credible swipe at counting parts.

But, I could only findand  

None of which had any arrows whatsoever pointing at them. They didn’t look like anything I’d seen in my modern medical journals so I reached out to my scientific community to ask if any of them had unique insight into what ancient Egyptian genitalia actually looked like. I got no help and chalked their reluctance to respond up to professional jealousy and kept going.

When I got to the Greeks I hit pay dirt. In paintings, sculptures and tapestries the male genitalia was on full display. I found no instance where female genitalia was being featured and admired at all. It was all tucked away, no detail whatsoever. But no arrows either so it was difficult to substantiate the nature of their admiration. Even a learned people can’t be right for no reason.

I needed clear proof and hustled off to the pre-Socratic. I quickly found it to be of lesser value than regular Socratic. I wondered if everyone except me already knew that. It may have more letters but it’s still not as good. Which, oddly enough is not the inverse of what I am trying to establish with my own work.

Feeling thwarted, the logical place to go next was pre-Hippocratic. It only made sense. At first I wasted valuable time chasing after that old red herring, Asclepius. When I found out he was the son of Apollo I knew I was way off course. Gods and sons of Gods would never have the patience to establish the nomenclature of genitalia. The Gods back then busied themselves doing other things with it.

The Gods nowadays never really share what they do with their own but spend a great deal of time instructing us on what to do with ours. I wondered why the change in attitude but left it unanswered and fought on.

Then I found Calliphon of Croton. An overworked physician of antiquity and friend of Pythagoras. It seems he was a pleasant fellow who for some reason busied himself warning people not to go near his donkey. But, it was here I found the documents of Kavliáris, the son of Calliphon of Croton’s oldest sister. Finally, the fountainhead!

As an indentured apprentice, Kavliáris was obligated to take on the mundane work Calliphon of Croton sloughed off on him. I was grateful for that because it was the drawings and arrows of Kavliáris that helped me begin to make sense of it all.

Even though it was sketched in a shaky hand the detail of the subject was still recognizable. Papyrus can make things look really wrinkled so I needed to invoke the acumen of a true scientist and pay close attention. His arrows were well done and the names he assigned interesting and descriptive. Τσαλακωμένο μέρος and κέλυφος αχιβάδα made perfect sense. I might have mistranslated τρύπα. Both the μεγάλη τρύπα and the μικρή τρύπα. But, for the sake of fairness I felt obligated to add them to the count nonetheless. Honest science is good science.

Here, I feel the need to take a moment to acknowledge a women of patience. Her name has been lost to history but her contribution to science certainly has not. It’s not every woman who would endure being placed in awkward positions and having a man point and ask, “What the hell is that thing?” and “What could you possibly use that for?” But because of her I have Kavliáris’ original part count. Female: 4, Male: 8.

So there it was. Now I had proof the part count started out being correct and the right genitalia was receiving the admiration it was due. So, where did it go wrong?

I found my answer when I ran across Agnodice. The first documented female physician of history who seemingly came along 800 years later merely to contradict Kavliáris. Her count was an astonishing Female: 18, Male: 1. Obviously, bias had not yet been discovered.

Racing back up the years to collect more data I found the arrow counts fluctuating wildly. The Constantine years repudiated Agnodice with their conclusions running an average of Female: 3, Male: 6. The Dark Ages nearly reversed it to 7:2 favoring the female. I was holding my own both going into and coming out of the Middle Ages. Average for that curious slug of time was Female: 4, Male: 6.

The Renaissance was generally discommodious but the drawings were more detailed and the arrows quite ornate. I set those aside for further inspection. The Enlightenment did little more than split hairs. And the dearth of decent drawings during the Victorian years continued right up to WWII.

Then I began to see the change that was going to tell me what I needed to know. There was a sudden upturn in available study material. But it was being aimed at the layman, not the scientist. The increase in what appeared to be a greater willingness on behalf of the female to place herself on full display for study was met with a significant decrease in arrows. None at all in fact.

And now in a reversal of the sacred ancient fertility rites the object of worship now appeared to be the female. But, this noticeable proliferation of available exhibits in contemporary times left the arrow and its assigned nomenclature far behind. Learning was being ditched for pleasure. Honesty now a thing of the past.

So, there it was. I had my answer. The scourge of modern marketing was to blame for the misplaced popularity of female genitalia. As with everything else they touch these peddlers of casuistry, these mass media sophists who cleverly redefine truth had once again purposely distracted us from the obvious.

They know damn well the part count is wrong. And through the sin of omission they fail time and again to disclose it by refusing to include arrows and nomenclature. They got their product out there first and saturated the market. Clever.

An entire generation was being hoodwinked by false advertising. Could it ever be put right again? Now that it has been taken out of the hands of experts, I doubt it. I didn’t want to end on a bitter note but I could not help but conclude, “Now that everyone knows everything about everything nobody knows nothing about anything at all.”

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The Nomenclature of Genitalia (2/3)

It was getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that in journal after journal the human female genitalia consistently had more arrows pointing to it than the human male genitalia.

I’m not talking about all the inside stuff, just the stuff that shows. The part count was demonstrably lopsided and decidedly incorrect. And every place I looked the error was repeating itself.

Some quick math confirmed there was a consistent 1:3 ratio in the discrepancy. All in favor of the female. As a man I found the disparity irritating. As a scientist I wanted to know why.

I did a thorough part count of my own genitalia 10 times and averaged the results. According to my findings the ratio was nearly reversed. I came up with 1:2 favoring the male. Was that why one was more highly regarded than the other? And from my count it was the wrong one. Female genitalia was getting credited for having more parts than it actually had. And unfairly garnering most of the attention as a result. I was sure of it.

To prove it I needed to develop a competent criteria for determining what was and what wasn’t a bonafide part. And then apply the same standard to both. It was the only way to scientifically confirm the error and then take the necessary steps to document it. I wanted to publish a strong enough paper to correct this misunderstanding. That was my focus now.

In order to be considered a genuine part did it have to do something that no other part did? Could it be near a part that did roughly the same thing and still be considered a separate part? Maybe by taking advantage of the natural symmetry of human genitalia I could draw an imaginary line right down the middle, do my count on one side only and then multiply by two. But if the line bisected a part, then I would have to divide by two after the initial doubling. That might save me some time but could detract from my study’s verisimilitude. Good science only has so much patience and taking shortcuts can test it sorely.

I decided to look at it from the perspective of functionality. I spent some time determining if the part being pointed at actually did anything or not. In the case of the female few did. Maybe the germane question here is, “Can something be something even if it doesn’t do anything?”

Considering the organs as a whole, I contemplated the fairness of putting forward the observation that from a purely functional point of view one seemed to do much more than the other. Irrespective of how many arrows were pointing at it. I try to avoid metaphors in my work but in the world of hammers and boards which one actually does something? A hammer, once taken in hand, can beat itself here and there but the board can do little more than lie there waiting to get nailed.

Logical as that was, it did not negate the fact that if something has more arrows pointing at it, it’s going to be of greater interest and attract the most attention. Was one erroneously receiving the accolades that rightfully belonged to the other? Was one more maligned and the other more flattered than it had a right to be? In the case of the female, in many instances, I had to squint to see what the arrow was actually pointing at. In the case of the male every denoted part was clearly visible, its function obvious.

So, how did the count get so cockeyed? How did it start and who started it? If nothing else, modern science allows us the opportunity to take a fresh look at things that flummoxed the science of days gone by. I quickly finished up the self-gratification portion of my original study and moved on.

What current woes are we enduring as a result of this transposed adulation? For myself, I’ve always lamented the ogling of private parts generally goes only one way. One can only speculate what the changes to our current lives might be if this high regard wasn’t misplaced. Obviously dancing and dating would be much different. And fashion would never be the same. For instance, the current popularity of bikinis vs speedos would most certainly be reversed. And lingerie would need a complete revamping. I had a hold of a bombshell and I knew it. Science has been known to change lives.

As I settled into my investigation I gave a silent hoorah while studying the fertility tributes of the ancient world. They were overwhelmingly phallic. There were a few clefts being tossed around in a civilization here and there. But tributes to the male far outweighed those to the female. Obviously, the part count was correct then. So, what changed? I’ll admit to an unnecessary dawdle while I envisioned the days when phallic worship was a cult. Pleasant musings no doubt but I needed to move on.

TO BE CONTINUED.

 

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The Nomenclature of Genitalia (1/3)

As a scientist I had run out of things to research. Space is crowded and brains overdone. I find the uncertainty principle vague so quantum mechanics was out as well. There were few places to turn and I was forced back to the basics. How can you go wrong with argumentum ad ignorantium?

When you base your research on the axiom that everything is true unless proven otherwise science was easy. It was a good choice as it turned out because this led to some of my most stunning work yet. And all without having to leave my house or spend a dime. Read more The Nomenclature of Genitalia (1/3)

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Richard Dawkins to Open a Sustainable Fish and Chip Shop

OXFORD, ENGLAND – Richard Dawkins, professor emeritus and former chair of public understanding of science at Oxford University has announced plans to open a new fish and chip shop that aims to serve up a sustainable catch. Professor Dawkins explained:

Cod has been on the Marine Conversation Society’s endangered stocks list for many years now.
But, despite all of the evidence, traditional fish and chip shops have continued to ignore these warnings.
Those who believe we can simply continue to consume cod at our current rates are under a severe delusion!

Professor Dawkins continued:

However, at my fish and chip shop, we are proud to say that there is no cod.

Professor Dawkins rose to fame in the fishing industry in 1976 with the release of his book “The Shellfish Gene.” He further cemented his reputation as one of the sharkest thinkers in marine biology with his 1998 bestselling book “Unweaving the Rainbow Trout.”

However, he has been in the public eye most recently for his sharp criticism of religion. Alongside Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens and Daniel Dennett, Dawkins is referred to as one of the “four seahorses of the apocalypse.”

Professor Dawkins’s shop has come under attack from Christian groups. Stephen Green from Christian Voice accused the shop of failing to provide a sustainable alternative. Green explained:

It would be much more efficient for Dawkins to buy two loaves of bread and a few fish, and then divide them up until everybody had some.

 

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Hotheads’ Violence Caused by Hot Climates, Study Finds

Dateline: GREENLAND—A sociobiological study from Bigwig University in Ittoqqortoormiit, Greenland shows that the areas around the world with the hottest temperatures tend to be inhabited by more aggressive, bellicose peoples, or “hotheads,” as the study calls them, while colder zones are home to more peaceful, even timid populations.

The team of scientists concludes that collective belligerence is a form of literal hot-headedness in which a screaming-hot environment transfers its heat to the human head and turns the mind into a stew of animal reactions, bypassing the brain’s rational faculties and driving the population as a whole to childish displays of wonton irrationality and brutality.

The deserts of the Middle East and Africa, along with Southeast Asia, Central America, Mexico, and the southern (Republican) United States are marked by dictatorships, perennial civil wars, gang wars, coups, chaos, rampant crime, riots, bloody uprisings, bigotry or fundamentalist lunacy.

By contrast, Canada, Alaska, the northern (Democratic) United States, and Europe are known for being sober, peaceful, and stable to the point of being infamously dull.

“It’s hard to stir up trouble,” said the team’s lead researcher, Professor Francesca Bobbins, “or to get all offended and hot-headed when there’s a foot of snow outside your door or when you know the snow will come in a matter of weeks or months. I mean literally, it’s hard to heat your head enough to sustain animal rage when it’s often super-cold out.

“But just imagine living in a desert that fries and scrambles your brains. How can you stop to think when you’re always stinking and soaking wet with sweat? Haven’t you got to take your rage out on someone, like the government or a rival sect or some other scapegoat? Mustn’t the excess heat that bubbles up in the heads of those dwelling in a humid environment be vented back into the world by some series of violent outbursts to prevent those heads from exploding?”

The researchers tested their hypothesis by observing the facial expressions and by measuring the heat steaming off of the heads of subjects who agreed just to stand for hours in the streets of altogether too-hot places, including San Antonio, Mexico City, Khartoum, Riyadh, and Bangkok. Invariably, the test subjects became increasingly agitated as the sweat streamed down their faces, dampening their shirts and messing up their underwear.

Subjects reported feeling their blood boil when strangers stopped merely to say “Hello” and were unable to concentrate when the researchers posed simple problems to them to determine whether heat negatively affects cognition.

“The sociobiologist asked me, ‘What’s two times four?’ and I swear I blanked,” recalled one test subject. “Back home in Halifax, Canada, I could have answered that with no problem, but standing there in Riyadh in that dreadful heat, my fevered brain was racing from one impulse and nonsensical notion to the next, as if the desert were boiling my neurons. All I could think was: ‘Get me the fuck out of this oppressive heat!’ And failing that, ‘Whom can I take out this aggression on?’”

As one of the researchers explained, “It’s like the difference between cold and boiling water. When water is very cold it’s frozen and so it tends to stay put, going nowhere; but when it boils, it spills out and bubbles up everywhere from the transfer of energy.”

Critics point out that the experiment was conducted in large cities, which suggests that the aggression may have been caused not by the blazing heat, but by the nearby presence of way too many people, the principle being as Sartre said, that “Hell is other people.”

The researchers replied that there are large cities in peaceful nations too, such as Toronto, Canada. What turns one large population into “placid, mousey little nobodies” and another into “a horde of raging orcs and barbarians” is largely the climate, said Professor Bobbins. “For example, the infusion of Middle Eastern immigrants into France and the UK and the conflicts this has stirred up there can be interpreted thermodynamically. The immigrants’ heads store the excess heat from their native lands and disperse it in the cooler climates of Western Europe. That transfer of heat causes social chaos.”

The report has also been criticized for failing to take into account the counterexample of Australia. Australians are known for being friendly and laid back, and yet much of that continent is as hot as anywhere else on the planet.

The researchers credit this apparent discrepancy to Australia’s British heritage. Like Canada, modern Australia was colonized by the United Kingdom. The team theorized that abundant rain can function like snow in dissuading a population from wanting to go outdoors to kick up a mighty ruckus.

“The rain-soaked temperament of Brits was passed onto Australian culture, making Aussies as tranquil and bloodless as Canadians,” said Professor Bobbins.

“As for Russia,” she continued, “while it’s true that Russians have historically preferred authoritarian rulers and been as brutal as all get-out, as in their laying waste to the Nazis, it’s notable that the soviets saw their ideology as being especially rational, even scientific. The Nazis, too, looked to science to support their social Darwinian prejudices.

“Temperature is only one factor in determining a population’s passivity or aggression, not the only one,” she conceded. “But while European and North Asian forms of violence are couched in rational or pseudoscientific terms, those forms that break out in scorching-hot zones are chaotic or primitive, showing similarities to the sort of genetic tribalism we see in other species.

“This is because the sweltering heat shuts down the cerebral cortex, leaving mainly the older, emotional and reactionary parts of the brain to steer the ship—and to pick up the pieces when those primitive forms of thinking crash the ship into a cliff.”

The team’s research has also been criticized for being flat-out racist. Professor Bobbins said in response that she “doesn’t care about skin colour. It’s not about innate differences between people, since even an annoyingly-polite Canadian will start to act like a jihadist nut job if he’s forced to live for years in a desert. Like they say in real estate, it’s ‘location, location, location.’”

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