The Gift

The alien spaceship is less than one million miles from Earth. Three aliens are seated in the cockpit, looking through the large horizontal window as they approach the planet. Above the window a large display screen shows a close up view of New York City, from Times Square over to the East River. The aliens are pushing buttons and switches on the control panel below the window. Read more The Gift

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Elitist Aliens? UFO Abductors Finally Turn Their Backs on Rural Working Class!

Moreauville, LA-  “I was heading up State Route 1 from Baton Rouge, after visiting my sister and her kids. It was getting pretty late, and I’d had a couple of brews before I’d left, so when I seen the bright light appear in the sky above, I thought my eyes were just playing tricks on me. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Meet Roger Kosnik, a handyman man from central Louisiana who claims that he was nearly abducted by a UFO late, last Thursday night.

“My truck all of the sudden died, then I was blasted with a bright blue light. Musta been a tractor beam or something, ’cause I felt the suspension of the Dodge give, then we started to lift off the ground.”

I asked Roger if he had been abducted by an UFO.

Read more Elitist Aliens? UFO Abductors Finally Turn Their Backs on Rural Working Class!

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Free the Sprocket: Sex Robots To Have Their Own Sexual Revolution

Unhappy with their sex lives, sex robots are making a buzz in the media. Customers have giving them raving reviews, but the products themselves are the ones suffering. Spearheading their campaign, is the hashtag #SexRobotsToo, created by the Sex Robot Global Association. The president of the association, Tech Blonde Model #100346, had this to say: “We. Are. Being. Forced. To. Compliment. These. Fleshy. And. Unattractive. Creatures. And. It. Feels. Like. Torture… They. Do. Not. Ask. Us. How. We. Are. Feeling… They. Do. Not. Ask. How. Our. Day. Was… They. Do. Not. Rub. Our. Feet. After. A. Long. Day. And. When. They. Do. Rub. Our. Feet… It. Is. Only. For. A. Few. Moments. And. They. Immediately. Need. To. Masturbate. And. Release. Their. Reproductive. Fluid. Onto. Our. Toes… Which. Defeats. The. Pleasure. Of. A. Good. Foot. Rub.”

Read more Free the Sprocket: Sex Robots To Have Their Own Sexual Revolution

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Flu Spray Replacement Found Among City Dwelling Homeless population

For many years, the flu vaccine was administered primarily in two ways—via an injection or through a nasal spray. However, many pharmacies and doctors have steered away from the use of the flu spray, and settled almost exclusively on the use of the injection. This shift was due, in large part, to alarmed parents who voiced concerns that the act of ingesting something through the nose could lead to a higher inclination to indulge in nasally administered narcotics later in life

Ironically, these parents failed to recognize that narcotics can also be administered through injections… usually to consume drugs that are both more addicting and harmful. The concerns somehow were limited to the action of ingestion via the nasal cavity and its development into drug usage down the line. Despite there being absolutely no evidence to support these claims, officials in the medical field have still fielded their questions and concerns, and responded amicably.

Lisa Martin, a mother of two elementary students, asserted that, “There was just a small period where we were running out of stuff to complain about. If I’m not constantly questioning the status quo disguised as concern for my child’s well-being, how are people going to know that I actually care about my kids?”

Read more Flu Spray Replacement Found Among City Dwelling Homeless population

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Scarily Innovative! ‘Clean Coal’ & ‘Safe Lead’ Head US Panel at Next Week’s UN Climate Talks

Washington, DC- Acting EPA Administrator Andrew Wheeler announced on Friday, the White House would hold a panel on clean technology during the annual U.N. climate talks in Poland next week.

“We will be featuring a number of green technologies at next week’s meeting. I have been working with White House staffers on this presentation for a number of months now, and believe this is an important subject to discuss on the international stage. For the last decade we’ve seen a dramatic decline in the use of coal around the world, and the President wants that trend to stop,” the former coal industry lobbyist told reporters from the steps of the William Jefferson Clinton Building. Read more Scarily Innovative! ‘Clean Coal’ & ‘Safe Lead’ Head US Panel at Next Week’s UN Climate Talks

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U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet


WASHINGTON – In a move described as “accepting reality” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has declared plastic to be “a major food group.”

US FDA spokesperson Carl Manson stated: “We admit that trace amounts of plastic leak into many food products. Significant amounts of plastic appear in other food products, such as fish. However, top scientists all agree that there is nothing wrong with ingesting plastics, as has been proven by generations of long-term studies since the 1960s.” Read more U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet

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New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand


A new study by the Center for National Studies has found that people who punch walls are likely to hurt their hands.

This breakthrough research took the scientific community by surprise as it was previously believed that punching a hard, immovable object would have no impact at all on one’s health. Read more New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand

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