Jack Black Shows Off New Investment at Furry Convention

SANTA MONICA, CA – Although it’s been quite some time since we last saw Jack Black in a memorable Hollywood role, it doesn’t mean the popular actor, comedian, cat lover, producer and singer hasn’t kept busy.

Indeed, just this past weekend, Black was in the public eye attending the Furry Convention on the world-famous Santa Monica Pier, overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

Crazed maniacs dressed in animal-like costumes from all over the world attended the fuzzy-themed show that has been held annually since 1992, but Black had a special reason for being there, to announce his recent investment in the popular entertainment website – It’s A Cat, Just So You Know, Entertainment (www.itsacatentertainment.com). Read more Jack Black Shows Off New Investment at Furry Convention

Jack Black Shows Off New Investment at Furry Convention

Crack Bagans? Ghost Stalker Pushes Beloved Mask, Ford Ranger Off Cliff

MOUNT CHARLESTON, NV – Only hours before the series finale of his newest show Deadly Possessions was set to air, ghost hunting guru Zak Bagans could be found about 50 miles northwest of his Las Vegas museum; committing an act so unbaganslike that officials assume he was either under the influence of a mind altering substance or possessed by one of the spirits he has been molesting for so long.

Standing on the edge of a peak known as Masking Heights, elevated 9,281 feet above a rocky gorge, Bagans first tossed his beloved air mask over the edge before pushing his iconic, red 2012 Ford Ranger over and watching them both fall to their certain deaths.

In addition to the drug and possession theories, many have speculated that Bagans may be under an enormous amount of stress after a dismal first season in which he fulfilled his lifelong dream of opening a museum in downtown Las Vegas, filled with haunted and cursed objects he has collected through the years. The sixth episode in the first season is set to air on the Travel Channel tonight at 9:00pm est featuring objects that belonged to the deadly Dr. Jack Kevorkian and the late actress, Natalie Wood.

“The sheer hatred he showed towards that mask when throwing and then watching it fall to a horrible death… I’ve never seen that kind of sheer hatred before,” said park ranger, Jared Bulgovich, the sole witness of the ghastly act that has the ghost community shaken. “Everyone round these parts knows Mr. Bagans loves his air mask and is as shocked as I am!” Bulgovich added.

The co-host of the popular paranormal show Ghost Adventures, which has been on the air for 12 seasons, frequently gets criticized by viewers for over-wearing a protective mask with the intention of cleansing the air he breathes. Certain situations, such as cave and old basement investigations, require the use of such a device; but when Bagans began wearing his mask all the time, questions immediately arose. Since then, he has interrupted a wedding to proclaim love to his mask and even a performance of the musical Cats, further progressing his maskness.

While the previous events seemed to be a mere infatuation of a man in love with a poly bi-carbonate plastic mold, the most recent event tells a tale of a man in need of some serious help.

No charges have been filed yet as Bagans has received comfort from close friends, relatives and the many spirits he has connected with over the years.

Crack Bagans? Ghost Stalker Pushes Beloved Mask, Ford Ranger Off Cliff

Clinton, Sanders Point Fingers Over Lousy Park Job

FLINT, MI – Following a heated debate Sunday evening in which Senator Bernie Sanders and former First Lady Hillary Clinton took opposite sides on a number of pressing issues, the pair got into another argument on Monday afternoon over a much less serious issue. While following the Democratic Code of Conduct in which the pair has agreed to carpool on the debate trail, both Presidential hopefuls were again at odds, this time over who was responsible for a terrible park job in a residential shopping mall.

“When you’re white, you don’t know what it’s like to be living in a ghetto,” Sanders responded when accused of parking the tiny, two-door black Acura in four spots at once by an enraged Clinton who pointed her finger upwards at the taller 5’8” Sanders. “Again, you have settled on a poor choice of words. I have never driven a car to the best of my knowledge,” an insistent Clinton fired back, while holding a set of car keys in her right hand.

The Flint debate was the first since the South Carolina primary, when Mrs. Clinton began to open up a commanding lead over Mr. Sanders in the race for the 2,383 delegates needed to clinch the Democratic nomination. On Sunday night, she sought to protect her edge with African-Americans, who have helped her more than any other constituency.

It is no secret that Sanders feels the nomination is slipping away and may have planned the bad park job in an effort to sabotage his competitor in the race to the White House. However, this could not be confirmed as shortly after the argument Clinton and Sanders joined forces for a haircut at the local Great Clips prior to their next stop in Detroit. Fortunately for the duo, Flint is currently experiencing a water pollution crisis and the only witness to the mispark was It’s A Cat, Just So You Know, Entertainment’s Reporter, Alfredo Loafcia, who was in town investigating an Oprah Winfrey sighting at the local Olive Garden.

Clinton, Sanders Point Fingers Over Lousy Park Job

Zak Bagans Interrupts Wedding to Proclaim Love to Air Mask

Zak Bagans Interrupts Wedding to Proclaim Love to Air Mask

Las Vegas, Nevada – Only hours before the newest episode of the long-running spook catching show, Ghost Adventures, was set to air on Saturday, the leading paranormal expert, Zak Bagans, made an announcement that he described afterwards as a “ghost he needed to get out of his closet.” The message that Bagans conveyed, his love for an air mask that was given to him as a child, came at the worst possible time for Dave Cornbeif and Natalie Muphin, who were only minutes away from being legally married at the time. Read more Zak Bagans Interrupts Wedding to Proclaim Love to Air Mask

Zak Bagans Interrupts Wedding to Proclaim Love to Air Mask

Til Death Hairdo Us Part: Trump’s Hair Speaks at Condom Conference

Warren, Michigan – Donald Trump’s body may no longer be a living entity, but his hair, a combination of locks, tresses and curls, continues to carry on the great legacy of the man who will forever be known as the front-runner of the 2016 presidential election until he succumbed to death in a game of Battleship against Nancy Pelosi last week. Trump’s hair most recently spoke at the Chris Christie Condom Conference held on Friday afternoon that was sponsored by Republican Chris Christie’s presidential campaign. Trump and Christie, competitors in the upcoming election, remained close friends and were together at the time of his passing.

“Donald was always a fan of safe sex,” Trump’s hair stated as it magically floated like a butterfly on the stage at the popular Riverside Theater on Elm Street. Regarded as “Mr. Trump,” the hair has continued to run business as usual, following in the footsteps of its longtime host and owner. “He had the same answer for ISIS as he did for keeping sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) at bay. Put a highly durable latex coating over it,” Mr. Trump added, while pointing to a poster on the wall behind him containing the fifty shades of great condoms. Read more Til Death Hairdo Us Part: Trump’s Hair Speaks at Condom Conference

Til Death Hairdo Us Part: Trump’s Hair Speaks at Condom Conference

Donald Trump Dead

WASHINGTON, DC – Nancy Pelosi delivered a devastating blow to the Republican Party Monday afternoon by defeating leading Presidential candidate, Donald Trump, in a fierce game of Battleship that ended with Pelosi sinking Trump’s aircraft carrier. With a call of C-8, an overshadowing Pelosi gazed directly into the eyes of the man who has disrupted the lives of all other politicians since his campaign was officially launched on June 16, 2015.

“Back off Warchild, seriously.” Pelosi quoted Bodhi from her favorite movie Point Break that was recently remade and released on Christmas Day. However, Pelosi favors the original film that was released in 1991 and stars Hollywood hot-shot, Keanu Reeves and the late Patrick Swayze.

“Oh, that Patrick,” Pelosi gently murmured to reporters from the chair in which she killed the American business magnate whose hair was styled in the shape of a rabid cat to scare his opponent. “This was a battle won at the hands of Milton Bradley for the American People. We have rid the Presidential pool of Donald Trump!” Pelosi violently shouted with a continuous surge in energy, finishing her short speech standing up in her chair. Read more Donald Trump Dead

Donald Trump Dead