Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Jack Black Shows Off New Investment at Furry Convention

SANTA MONICA, CA – Although it’s been quite some time since we last saw Jack Black in a memorable Hollywood role, it doesn’t mean the popular actor, comedian, cat lover, producer and singer hasn’t kept busy. Indeed, just this past…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment Television

Crack Bagans? Ghost Stalker Pushes Beloved Mask, Ford Ranger Off Cliff

MOUNT CHARLESTON, NV – Only hours before the series finale of his newest show Deadly Possessions was set to air, ghost hunting guru Zak Bagans could be found about 50 miles northwest of his Las Vegas museum; committing an act…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Clinton, Sanders Point Fingers Over Lousy Park Job

FLINT, MI – Following a heated debate Sunday evening in which Senator Bernie Sanders and former First Lady Hillary Clinton took opposite sides on a number of pressing issues, the pair got into another argument on Monday afternoon over a…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Zak Bagans Interrupts Wedding to Proclaim Love to Air Mask

Las Vegas, Nevada – Only hours before the newest episode of the long-running spook catching show, Ghost Adventures, was set to air on Saturday, the leading paranormal expert, Zak Bagans, made an announcement that he described afterwards as a “ghost…

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Posted in Politics

Til Death Hairdo Us Part: Trump’s Hair Speaks at Condom Conference

Warren, Michigan – Donald Trump’s body may no longer be a living entity, but his hair, a combination of locks, tresses and curls, continues to carry on the great legacy of the man who will forever be known as the…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Donald Trump Dead

WASHINGTON, DC – Nancy Pelosi delivered a devastating blow to the Republican Party Monday afternoon by defeating leading Presidential candidate, Donald Trump, in a fierce game of Battleship that ended with Pelosi sinking Trump’s aircraft carrier. With a call of…

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Posted in Making Headlines The Rest

Coca-Cola Resurrects 1889 Advertising Campaign by Adding Coke

ATLANTA, GA – Every fan of Coca-Cola was jumping with joy on Friday morning as the beverage behemoth’s first round of new TV ads hit the airwaves featuring a new message intended to boost sales of its beverages, which have…

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Posted in Entertainment Music

Weird Al Sings Love-Lorne Rhapsody

NEW YORK CITY – Weird Al Yankovic is respected worldwide for his funny and sometimes daring song parodies. The singer has been going strong for over 35 years, but it appears as if he ran into a bit of trouble…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Strange People

Bruce Jenner Debuts New Film Along with Name

NEW YORK CITY – The world received a double dose of Caitlyn Jenner on Monday as the American culture, fashion and politics magazine, Vanity Fair, released their upcoming cover with Caitlyn sitting on a stool and the man-turned-woman also announced…

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Posted in Human Interest Science

Long Lost Photo Reveals Titanic Hit a Wahlberg

NEW YORK CITY – A shocking revelation was made this week when a photograph uncovered in the corner of a dusty attic changed the history behind a catastrophic event that took place on the night of April 14th into the…

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Posted in Sports Sports Scandals

With Tom Brady Suspension Looming, Patriots Introduce New QB

Foxborough, Massachusetts – Only hours after the NFL suspended two-time MVP quarterback, Tom Brady, for the first four games of the 2015 season, New England Patriots owner, Robert Kraft and head coach, Bill Belichick, announced the signing of the player…

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Posted in Sports Sports Events

Brains Donate NFL Players to Science

Chicago, Illinois – As the 2015 NFL draft is set to begin tonight at 8pm (est), the scientific community added to the excitement with a groundbreaking announcement last night that the brains of current and former NFL players, Michael Vick…

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Posted in Human Interest Society

Decidophobic Man Unable to Dismiss Completed Calendar Task Involving Ex-Girlfriend

Wilbur, Kansas – 29-year-old Marketing Manager, Larry Rossgarden, has considered himself to be a procrastinator since his college days at the University of Kansas, where he would consistently delay writing papers and studying for exams until literally minutes before they…

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Posted in Human Interest Talky Pictures

New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot

St. Louis, Missouri – As the newest Ghostbusters film comes closer to fruition, more and more companies are releasing products that, in thought, will appeal to the everyday consumer who doubles as a Ghostbusterian. The latest household name to join…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Sports

Skier Gets Tongue Stuck on Ice Cube

Los Angeles, California – Hundreds of skiers, snowboarders and snow tubers celebrated the grand opening of Mount Thang, located in the eastern side of the city this past weekend. In addition to celebrating Los Angeles’ first snow sighting since a…

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Posted in Entertainment Music

Kanye West is a Breadophile: Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys

Los Angeles, California – Underfilled baskets, uncooked breadsticks and inappropriate butterings. These were the truths revealed by rapper, Kanye West, this past Sunday at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards in the Staples Center. The man who crashed Taylor Swift’s award…

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Posted in Sports Sports Scandals

Tom Brady: “My Balls Were Deflated”

Milford, Connecticut – After weeks of controversy against Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots for whether they intentionally let air out of game balls, Tom Brady finally stepped forward in an interview on the Dan Patrick Show…

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Posted in Entertainment Television

Did I Bake That? Jaleel White Reprises Role in Upcoming Sequel

Burbank, California – The Olive Garden is rising from the grave in the newest sitcom premiering in March on Fox from Executive Producer, Tyler Perry. The new show, Family Platters, is a sequel to the 90s hit, Family Matters, that…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Scott Stapp Forced to Sell Beloved Olive Garden Memorabilia

Orlando, Florida – Following a costly divorce, ongoing drug addiction and malicious hacker attacks to his bank accounts, Creed’s lead singer, Scott Stapp, who was once worth as much as 30 million dollars, is now flat broke and homeless. Stapp’s…

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Posted in Entertainment Music

One Direction Alters Name in Honor of Extinct Restaurant Chain

New York City – “Olive Garden you light up my tummy like nobody else, The way your breadsticks are buttered gets me overwhelmed, When I’m docile and out of pounds it ain’t hard to tell, You don’t go, Oh, oh,…

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