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Buddhism May be the Religion of Peace… But Hitch Was Having None of it!

Buddhism May be the Religion of Peace… But Hitch Was Having None of it!

http://www.salon.com/1998/07/13/news_79/

Far from his holier-than-all image, the Dalai Lama supports such questionable causes as India’s nuclear testing, sex with prostitutes and accepting donations from a Japanese terrorist cult.

SALON.COM

***

Oh dear. Somebody tell Hollywood. What a horrific hate crime.

Old Chris is insulting the religion of peace. Next thing people will be calling the 5th Dalai Lama a ‘bigot’ for commanding the skulls of his enemies to become ‘like eggs smashing against a rock.’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

Who is More Callous? A Neocon Extremist or an Islamist Extremist?

Who is More Callous? A Neocon Extremist or an Islamist Extremist?

Christopher Hitchens & Ayatollah Khomeini.

One is a violent extremist and vicious radical ideologue who held the lives of innocent human beings in exceedingly low esteem.

The other one… Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

(Trigger Warning) OMG! EVIL ISLAMOPHOBIC BIGOTS BURNING THE BURQA!

(Trigger Warning) OMG! EVIL ISLAMOPHOBIC BIGOTS BURNING THE BURQA!

Hate speech is not freedom of speech! How dare these privileged hegemonic Islamophobic bigots impose a single, monolithic interpretation upon the Burqa?! Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Politicians, Pundits and Pursuers of Poontang

Politicians, Pundits and Pursuers of Poontang

I wanted to learn a second language. There are approximately 6,900 of them out there to choose from and I couldn’t decide which one to spend my time on.

I ruled out Chamicuro right away because only 8 people in the world spoke that language. I saw a picture of them, all toothless and horribly wrinkled, gathered together in the center of their village in Peru. I figured by the time I learned to speak Chamicuro they would all be dead.

I also drew a line through Dumi Bo’o, Liki, Njerep and Kaixana for pretty much the same reason. I talk to myself enough as it is.

It only made sense to choose a language spoken by the most people. French, German and Mandarin seem to be the big hitters. With Russian, Spanish and Japanese close behind.

Esperanto is supposed to be an international language, the one spoken by the most people around the globe. I don’t know anyone who speaks Esperanto so I didn’t bother with that one either.

It soon occurred to me there was another international language. One that everyone spoke but few understood. As odd as that sounds, it was true. People were always hearing it spoken but not really understanding it. And when they spoke it to someone else their real meaning was lost to the listener.

I wasn’t sure how something could be so prevalent and yet so completely misunderstood. It was here I found my language of choice and set out determined to become fluent in Bullshit.

It was the obvious choice because Bullshit is the preferred language of politicians, pundits and pursuers of poontang. I happily include myself in the latter category but my sense of honor prohibits me from taking undue advantage of anyone. So, I vowed to use my new found literacy in Bullshit for intellectual pursuits only and not try to talk some unsuspecting young woman into doing things she never knew she wanted to do.

It became evident at once that Bullshit was the sole form of communication used by the news media. That would be my focus of study. I worked hard at it and once I gained proficiency in this mother tongue I was astounded at what I was finally able to understand. It was very disheartening.

I will share some of what I learned but I feel you need to learn for yourself. As I did, start with the news media and after a bit I’m sure you will begin to recognize all the different dialects of Bullshit. I have listed a few of them below to help get you started.

Mostly Bullshit

This one was difficult to pick up at first because there are specks of truth here and there. But it is only used to camouflage the real Bullshit.

Mostly Bullshit is both misleading and convincing at the same time. It assumes if they feed one slice of the pie you’ll happily pounce on what’s left. Be careful here. It takes a practiced eye to spot and understand it.

Biased Bullshit

This one will acknowledge no other point of view. It takes shameful advantage by telling you what you want to hear. It is utterly devoid of any perspective. It convinces you that what they tell you is good and anything anyone else tells you is bad.

You need to take great care with this one because it can overwhelm your sensibility and leave you believing what you are being told is the absolute truth.

Straight Faced Bullshit

This is a much used dialect and can be seen either in a panel format or a single individual staring you right in the eye. In the panel format a group of people will speak Straight Faced Bullshit between themselves while you watch and listen. They sometimes become quite animated while insisting what they are saying has any basis in reality whatsoever.

You are outnumbered here so be careful.

When Straight Faced Bullshit is used by a single person they may sometimes employ tools to try and convince you what they are saying is not Bullshit. One of these tools is statistics. At times revealed in charts and graphs held up for your inspection. It can be quite convincing but is actually of no value whatsoever.

The best defense is to dismiss it altogether because there is no way to confirm its accuracy. Which is exactly why they use them. You always need to keep in mind that all users of Straight Faced Bullshit are very well paid. And the more people they can get to listen to them the more money they make. That should always be a red flag.

Total Bullshit

Believe it or not, Total Bullshit can be harder to identify. I have heard it referred to as Blatant Bullshit or Complete Bullshit. They are all pretty much the same thing. There are three ways that I found to detect Total Bullshit. Once you become fluent in Bullshit I am sure you will find many of your own.

The first is when something is attributed to an undisclosed source or a high ranking government official who wishes to remain anonymous. What follows after that is highly likely to be Total Bullshit.

The second is the use of “experts.” Their function is to interpret someone else’s Total Bullshit then add a heap of their own and blend them together in an indistinguishable mess. You have to pay particular attention to this one because somehow they make it all appear plausible. When you become fluent in bullshit you will readily see it makes no sense at all.

The third is closely related to the second one mentioned above. This is of the educated, erudite and urbane variety. These presenters of Total Bullshit try to make you feel as they presume themselves to be. Smart. They rely on convincing you that if you don’t understand what they’re saying it has to be true. Think of them as nothing more than self-important, perfumed dandies.

With Bullshit now under my belt I was able to gain a true perspective on what was really going on. If you are tired of getting suckered then I encourage you to learn how to speak and understand Bullshit as soon as possible.

***

(Contributor’s note: I first heard the expression, “fluent in bullshit”, from Gary Shandling. He may or may not have originated the term; but either way, it’s poor manners to use someone else’s work without proper acknowledgement. Rest In Peace, Gary).

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Posted in Education0 Comments

The United States Successfully Imprisons All of its Citizens

The United States Successfully Imprisons All of its Citizens

In the year 2024, the United States perfected its prison industry by imprisoning all of its citizens, including the judges, lawyers, and police.

Trials thereafter occurred within prison cells, as did all other business and family matters.
Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime4 Comments

Sneak Peek at our “How it’s REALLY Made” feature film!

Sneak Peek at our “How it’s REALLY Made” feature film!

First look at our mockumentary featurette about Bobby Joe H. Jr. Jr., the narrator of all our “How It’s REALLY Made” edutainment videos. The full playlist is available on YouTube.

4K/UHD Principle photography is already finished, and we’re now editing and looking for distribution options.

Made with massive help from Ben Slavens, Jason Daniel, Tracy Lundell, Greg the Hero and a bunch more.

Follow us

At www.facebook.com/bobbyjoethemovie to get all the updates, and subscribe here to see some of the videos as they are released… but the Facebook page will have WAY more updates.

Full Video Here!

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Posted in Education, Video News0 Comments

My open letter to the guy crossing the street against traffic without looking up

My open letter to the guy crossing the street against traffic without looking up

Dear person who never looks up while crossing the street, no matter how much traffic there is,

Hey, how’s it going? I hope I didn’t interrupt you from anything important. Please, by all means, go ahead and finish texting LOL to your friend Brad. Don’t forget the smiley face emoticon. Your text is far more important than anything I have to discuss with you. I’ll wait……… Done yet? Super.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. You see, I’m the guy whose car almost creamed you earlier today when you walked into traffic against the light and never once looked up. I doubt you remember me.

I can imagine it must have been hard to hear my horn blaring or my brakes screeching to avoid hitting you, what with that AC / DC song playing on your iPod at 175 decibels. I could hear them rocking away from inside my car with my windows up. I have to say, excellent choice in music, dude. Can’t go wrong with Highway to Hell – a classic.

You know, when I was young, I was taught that the center of the solar system was the sun. I now realize that my teacher lied to me – because clearly the solar system revolves around an eight-inch space between those earbuds of yours.

Okay, so technically I may have had the “legal” right of way over you, seeing as the light was green for me, and you had that annoying, flashing DON’T WALK sign that you probably missed since it didn’t flash on your cell phone. But hey, who has time to read street signs when they’re busy checking out their Facebook page, am I right?

Anyhoo, what I was trying to say is I apologize. I’m deeply sorry if my car’s front bumper photobombed the Selfie you were taking. Given that my windshield was merely four feet away from your rib cage when our paths crossed, I fear I may have ruined your Snapchat moment.

I must confess, I envy you just a little. You looked so at peace – so completely unbothered by the gridlock you created for all those cars behind me trying in vain to make it through the intersection. I am in awe of your composure in the face of a long line of irate drivers who would have happily made you into a hood ornament.

A lesser person would have been intimidated at the thought of 4,000 pounds of steel bearing down on them at the speed of a hungry cheetah. But not you. You were so courageous, completely undaunted. Even the screams of the maddening crowd didn’t shake your certitude that the urban seas would part to make way for your triumphant, regal crossing. Way to make an entrance, King Cell Phone Dude.

And I simply must applaud your amazing ability to keep your eyes focused downward during your entire crossing. As I was trying in vain to get your attention, your eyes never once wandered from your cell phone screen during your entire 36-foot journey from curb to curb. I doubt a nuclear explosion could have diverted your concentration away from whatever YouTube roomba cat video you were locked in on.

Ya’ know, sometimes I find myself having to stop what I’m doing and pay attention to other people around me who insist that I observe basic courtesies of a modern society. You don’t suffer from that affliction. Not one bit. It must be nice not to have to worry about anything outside of a two-foot radius of your thumbs. What’s important to me is that you were able to saunter across the street at your own leisurely pace, without having to worry about anyone else on this planet. I am in awe of you.

I hope our paths cross again sometime. Perhaps we’ll meet on an airplane. I’ll be the guy right behind you in line waiting for fifteen minutes while you attempt to squeeze a suitcase the size of a refrigerator into the overhead compartment.

But if I know you – and I’m pretty sure I do – you won’t notice me then either. And that’s okay. Because no matter how long you make me wait for you to place your special order at the drive thru or ask the bank teller to convert your collection of 2,578 pennies into dollar bills, it’s okay. Take your time. Please don’t hurry on my account. All that matters to me – and the other 25 people in line behind you – is that you focus on the needs of Numero Uno, buddy. Act like we’re not even here. That should be easy for you to do.

On behalf of all the people in this world who are forced to wait on the outside of whatever impenetrable magic bubble you live in, I just want to say, thank you for reminding all of us that your time is more valuable than ours.

Warmest regards,

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Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial, Top Stories0 Comments

Who are the Real Individualists in UK Politics?

Who are the Real Individualists in UK Politics?

The ‘economic individualism/economic collectivism’ dichotomy is so idiotic, I wish it could be binned, preferably along with those who propagate it.

Welfare and the NHS, designed to relieve and alleviate the suffering of real people, rather than of meaningless abstractions, are much less ‘collectivist’ concerns than the Tory veneration of ‘the economy’ and ‘the national interest.’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary, Society0 Comments

STOP THE TYRANNY OF FACTS! Check Your Privilege, and STOP VIOLATING MY INTUITIONS

STOP THE TYRANNY OF FACTS! Check Your Privilege, and STOP VIOLATING MY INTUITIONS

As I just commented to some friends on Facebook about this HORRIBLE article…

We have to do something about the plague of #altliterarycritique!

We truly are in a post-Derridean age, where arbitrary social constructs just don’t matter any more, and anyone can just push their so-called FACTS on us without expecting some sort of radical deconstructive pushback. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Human Interest0 Comments

Stop Darwinophobia Now! Dawkinsism is the Science of Peace

Stop Darwinophobia Now! Dawkinsism is the Science of Peace

I’m sick of all these privileged bigots claiming that New Atheists are somehow ‘superior’ to the Moderate Political Islamist Community.

I mean, remember when A C Grayling was advocating beheading everyone who insulted his wife, or when Richard Dawkins wanted to stone people who denied the literal inspired word of Darwin?

This stuff is happening all the time! Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Mosquitoes- The Mini-Mes Of Vampires

Mosquitoes- The Mini-Mes Of Vampires

Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses.

They are adept enough to fly up, whine in your ear, then take off laughing as you whip yourself in the head trying to swat them.

They know how to hold a victim in suspense as they flit about having the wiles to dodge the hand raised in self defense. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Science0 Comments

POMO Priorities (The Ballad of How Occidental Civilization Was Won & Lost)

POMO Priorities (The Ballad of How Occidental Civilization Was Won & Lost)

1. Don’t say REAL MEN DON’T RAPE! That’s essentialist!

 

But men shouldn’t rape…?

STFU! Essentialist!!!!!

***

2. OMG! Stop comparing the Brotherhood to ISIS!

 

But they’re theocrats…

OMG! #Hashtag, not all moderate political Islamists! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Human Interest0 Comments

Psychiatrists reach Opposite Conclusions about President Trump’s Mental Health

Psychiatrists reach Opposite Conclusions about President Trump’s Mental Health

Dateline: NEW YORK CITY—On Monday, Feb 15, the New York Times published a letter signed by 37 psychiatrists who expressed severe doubts about President Trump’s mental health.

Trump “appears to have had the fragile mind of a two-year old implanted into his 70 year-old brain,” said the psychiatrists. “Our expert medical opinion is that President Trump is off his rocker. More specifically, he’s fallen off his rocker, landed on the floor, rolled off the floor and out the front door, down the steps and down the mountain side, splashed into the ocean and sank into a volcano at the bottom of the sea.”

Thanks to the technological services of an anonymous group of hackers, 200 million Americans were able to simultaneously pipe their response to the letter directly into the bedrooms of all 37 psychiatrists. Transmitted at a deafening decibel, the response was, “No shit, Captain Obvious!”

Two days later, the NY Times published a letter signed by 37 different psychiatrists who reached the opposite conclusion, that Trump’s mental state is as healthy as anyone’s can be.

Curiously, both letters were signed by 20 men and 17 women. One of the male psychiatrists who signed the first letter is a little person, and one who signed the second is also a little person.

Three of the men who signed the first letter, and three of the different men who signed the second all have 9 inch-long scraggly beards that have the same mixed shades of brown and grey.

Two of the women who signed the first letter, and two of the different women who signed the second have had mastectomies.

This has led one physicist to blame the mirroring effect on spillover from other universes in the multiverse.

Another physicist, Eugene Nerdopolous, has posited what he calls the “Of Course Principle” to explain the puzzling phenomenon of professionals who cancel each other out in psychiatry and in several other sciences.

“To paraphrase Isaac Newton,” he says, “for every psychiatrist there’s an equal and opposite psychiatrist.

“And the same holds in any scientific field in which a lot of money is at stake for the scientist. If one blood spatter expert is willing to testify that the blood left at the crime scene was caused by a gruesome act of murder, of course another will testify that the red fluid isn’t blood at all, but raspberry filling from a squashed donut.”

The differences aren’t due merely to the ambiguity of the subject matter, which could allow for different rational interpretations. “It’s more a question of the world mocking our vain attempts to understand and control it. When 37 psychiatrists think anyone needs them to state the obvious about Trump, and then the universe throws up 37 equal and opposite psychiatrists, something’s having a laugh at our expense.”

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Posted in Health, Politics, Science0 Comments

Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno

Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno

C is for cat and E is for elephant.

Every young child in the English-speaking world knows these two basic facts, thanks to the rhymes and illustrations of children’s alphabet books.

However, it turns out, according to author Alfred Labette, that these books have not been entirely forthcoming with the younger generations since their inception.

Labette shared a little-known secret that nearly every alphabet book published since the height of the Roman Empire has skipped past the under-appreciated Elemeno.

“People assume X is the letter that gives us all the trouble,” Labette explains. “But it’s really the elusive Elemeno that makes things difficult. And no wonder it’s forgotten with how quickly we rush through that part of the song.” Alfred, or Alf to his friends, says he has approached the problem from multiple angles, including using animal names from other languages and even mythical creatures. “I’ve got some ideas brewing that are lightyears beyond any other of those sophomoric authors,” Labette declares with pride in his eyes.

A tortured soul to say the least, Labette wakes up every morning, stares at a blank piece of paper for three hours, and then pours through line after line of text on the Internet, looking for inspiration until the caffeine and vitamin B finally wear off. His deadline is fast approaching with just under three weeks to find the answer.

Still, Labette is confident he will have the first true alphabet animal book assembled and published, complete from aardvark to zorgon.

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (2/2)

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (2/2)

Last time, I brought you a disturbing tale of a pompous campus intellectual who did more harm than good when presuming to speak for asylum seekers.

Unfortunately, I have even more evidence to show that not only does he not avoid misogyny when talking about the Cologne rapes…

He doesn’t even avoid racism, cultural stereotyping or smearing and sweepingly dehumanizing ALL asylum seekers either, by disingenuously characterizing them as ‘culturally diverse’ rapists..

Instead of as individuals who all have different characters, personalities, and points of view.

Like, OMG! Surely not! Can you but IMAGINE…!!!!!!!!!!!! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Strange People0 Comments

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (1/2)

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (1/2)

The thing about the postmodernist social justice left is that they often harm the very people they claim to be helping.

The following story is about a (not so?) well meaning middle class latte liberal who wants to stand up for asylum seekers, and ends up smearing them, patronizing them, and making them all guilty with association with the bad guys.

Talk about…

Acceptable Orientalism?! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Strange People0 Comments

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