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The “joy” of buying a new computer

The “joy” of buying a new computer

I recently bought a new laptop because my old one was having problems. From my purchase experience, I want to pass along the following helpful piece of advice: NEVER EVER BUY A NEW COMPUTER.

Limp along with your Apple Lisa for as long as you possibly can – because once you buy a new computer, your nightmares have just begun. The following is a 100% true retelling of my experience. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Society0 Comments

Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans

Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans

A Rathskeller deep in the forested woods. Night has drawn its blackest curtain across the outer world, blocking out even the niggardly light from the stars.

Rain hammers against the windows and lightning cackles in the air.

A troupe of men with faces that seek the shadows meet in a corner booth away from the gazes of the other inn patrons.

They speak in cautious whispers that they wish no other ears to intrude upon: Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Fundamentalist Anti-Welfare: the “True Individualist” Position?! (2/2)

Fundamentalist Anti-Welfare: the “True Individualist” Position?! (2/2)

Just to forestall any snap objections, I am not suggesting that “the government” or “the state” is the automatic go-to for all conflicts of interest. Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary, Society0 Comments

Fundamentalist Anti-Welfare: the “True Individualist” Position?! (1/2)

Fundamentalist Anti-Welfare: the “True Individualist” Position?! (1/2)

Maybe it’s time the individuals saved ourselves from the individualists.

Or more precisely, from those who speak in the name of all individualists; as though there could only be one model of individualism; a vulgar-Randian one. Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary, Society0 Comments

Druggies Open Petting Zoo, Bites Quickly Follow (VIDEO)

Druggies Open Petting Zoo, Bites Quickly Follow (VIDEO)

Argleton — Rocky & Spyder Krakauer were indicted last year for selling stolen cars, but they’re back with what can only be called the world’s worst petting zoo.

Featuring such pet-able critters as raccoons, rats, alley cats, and even jelly fish. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Video News0 Comments

Jeb Bush Blunder on Immigration and Reconciliation

Jeb Bush Blunder on Immigration and Reconciliation

Jeb Bush’s attempts to speak up louder than those who to some limited extent do have a voice (regarding immigration) have suffered a serious blow.

At a recent dialogue conference about how to make the GOP more inclusive, an immigration activist, Penelope D Solanas, told Bush and other figures in attendance the story of her life as an irregular migrant.

After recounting some of her difficulties over the course of some years and decades, Penelope concluded:

So, this is my life. And many have similar stories. This is how we live!

A reporter then asked Bush how he felt about Penelope’s story. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

Hey Kids! Make Your Own ‘Trump for President ‘ Bumper Stickers!

Hey Kids! Make Your Own ‘Trump for President ‘ Bumper Stickers!

Hey Kids! Have Some Fun Cutting Out These ‘Trump For President’ Bumper Stickers!!!

Here is what you need for a little summer fun! Just print off these patriotic bumper stickers, snitch a pair of scissors and some glue from your mom when she isn’t looking and have a blast pasting them all over cars in your neighborhood!

What better way to spend a summer day!

What better way to experience juvenile detention at an early age!

Think of all the no-fun you’ll have!


CHUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!
(NO, IT IS SPELLED RIGHT)

PAID FOR BY DEMOCRATS MESSING WITH THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY.


MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR
THE 1%!
VOTE TRUMP!!!!!!!!!


BRING WORLD WAR III IN
WITH A BANG!!!!!!!
TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!


VOTE DONALD TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Keep the political satirists and cartoonists
employed for the next four years!


MAKE AMERICA SAFE FOR THE OLIGARCHY!
MAKE TRUMP THE MAN!!!!!!


PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT IN THE U.S.
ANYONE THROUGH SHEER ARROGANCE
AND AGGRESSIVENESS CAN BECOME PRESIDENT

VOTE TRUMP!!!

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Vatican Ruthlessly Canonizes Ungrateful Dead Infidel

Vatican Ruthlessly Canonizes Ungrateful Dead Infidel

A scandalous leaked document from the Vatican highlights an utterly disgraceful and absolutely unbelievable lapse of judgment on the part of top Church authorities…

One which will almost certainly make the Church’s reputation plummet to unprecedented depths.

But what is it? Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Religionism0 Comments

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

Realizing statistically that whenever there is a gun related mass murder by a mentally ill individual or group that gun sales go up out of fear that they will be outlawed.

Because of this gun manufacturers have started pushing the NRA to get more guns into the hands of as many psychopaths as possible.

A secret email has been acquired by a hacker and turned over to Washington newspapers who in turn exposed it to the reading public. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime0 Comments

Psst! By the Way, the Flâneurs are Coming… ;)

Psst! By the Way, the Flâneurs are Coming… ;)

Hm… I should probably be just that little bit sneaky and conveniently forget that I’ve already told you this, but:

I am setting the price of The Great Flâneur Massacre at $2.99. Hm…

Originally said ‘intended to set,’ but I’m trying to keep on your toes, like all good flâneur-professors say when their words are challenged ;)

I believe this is a fair price to pay for a first novella; particularly one which my esteemed colleagues at Glossy News weren’t prepared to turn their noses up at, when I published two samples!

I mean, these guys sure know their David Mitchell from their David Hassellhoff, or their Noel Gallagher from their… um, Gallagher. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Education0 Comments

Update on The Great Flâneur Massacre: Plus Two Free Books!

Update on The Great Flâneur Massacre: Plus Two Free Books!

To celebrate my self-publishing of my first extended work of fiction, The Great Flâneur Massacre, I am providing two free gifts to past, present and future readers. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

Confederates Mourn: State’s Rights, National Interest are COLLECTIVIST Notions!!!

Confederates Mourn: State’s Rights, National Interest are COLLECTIVIST Notions!!!

Groundbreaking research from Guru Angus Lenn(on/in)vedanta Smiggles from the Social Constructionist String Theory Department in Bushmills Metaphysical College has made an astonishing revelation.

Yes. In an article published in the Pan-Bushmills Journal of Transcendental Obviousnesses, Smiggles assumes the following astonishing revisionist philosophical stance:

Confederates are not rugged individualists after all!

Actually, they are every bit as collectivist as the bureaucratic ‘Big Government’ wonks they profess to despise!!! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Politics0 Comments

Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Pope Francis has recently denounced the efforts by notable megachurch entrepreneur Merle Swaggett to buy out the Vatican and run the Church on a more modern basis:

The Catholic Church has been around for a fairly long time, but there are some who envy our long track record of spiritual and material success. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, World News0 Comments

Confederate Flags Go On Crime Spree

Confederate Flags Go On Crime Spree

Confederate flags are wreaking havoc all over America. In Asheville, North Carolina, a Confederate flag walked into a school and impaled itself through three students.

An unidentified Confederate flag vandalized a reservoir in San Francisco, wasting millions of gallons of water in the drought-stricken area.

One Confederate flag was seen clinging to the roof of an out of control Dodge Charger speeding through a road construction site in Georgia. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Politics0 Comments

Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But NOT Transsexual! (2/2)

Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But NOT Transsexual! (2/2)

Time for a bit of

mutual mud-slinging, entrenched opinions and the politics of disagreement

as one notable satirical persona says.

Or again, as another such persona says:

Of course, it’s perfectly true, from one perspective, that…

But the other side of this dilemma, which is equally undeniable and obvious…

Let’s see how US politicians have responded to Santorum’s confession that he is trans-sexual, but definitely, definitely not transsexual. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Society3 Comments

New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet

New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet

Separation of Church & State means a prison can’t tell you what to eat. They can’t force you to eat pork and, this church hopes, they cannot deny you lobster.

Jails are terrible [citation needed] and inmates often do anything they can just to feel like they have an ounce of control in their lives.

Dietary hassles are not just the beginning, they’re also usually the end. Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Religionism0 Comments

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