My Short-Lived Career As A BINGO Announcer

My Short-Lived Career as a BINGO AnnouncerThroughout my life, I’ve held a variety of jobs – from Sales Director to Director of Sales and everything in between. Given the chance, I could have been a superstar selling advertising, life insurance or legal research to anyone from astronauts to Aborigines, had my employers not fired me for poor performance and incompetence. So, you can imagine my excitement when I recently heard about an opening that sounded right up my alley: Working the BINGO booth at our local county fair. Read more My Short-Lived Career As A BINGO Announcer

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College Life: What to Expect

Unlike high school, a typical college day is a lot less scheduled depending on how well you plan and manage your day. In addition, you have more freedom and opportunities to explore your interests and passions. While at it, you can join online educational forums such as Rincon del Vago. There you can interact with peers from different colleges while at the same time learning from educational material that is present. Read more College Life: What to Expect

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U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet


WASHINGTON – In a move described as “accepting reality” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has declared plastic to be “a major food group.”

US FDA spokesperson Carl Manson stated: “We admit that trace amounts of plastic leak into many food products. Significant amounts of plastic appear in other food products, such as fish. However, top scientists all agree that there is nothing wrong with ingesting plastics, as has been proven by generations of long-term studies since the 1960s.” Read more U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet

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The Unofficial & Definitely Un-Presidential Meanings of ‘POTUS’

Our national beloved-love of acronyms has brought us a new term for our fearless Fuhrers. The term, which took me a while to understand (as everyone tells you acronyms but doesn’t bother to translate them for you!) is ‘POTUS’ – the initials standing for ‘President Of The United States.’ Read more The Unofficial & Definitely Un-Presidential Meanings of ‘POTUS’

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You Can Take a Hike

You Can Take a HikeLately, whenever someone invites me to go hiking, my response is usually: “You can take a hike.” That’s because, I really don’t care for hiking.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not lazy. Okay, maybe that’s a lie. But I used to take long walking excursions all the time. It’s one of my wife’s favorite leisure activities – so much so that she snuck it into our wedding vows: “I promise to love, honor and cherish you – and take annoyingly long, arduous hikes into mosquito-infested woods in the middle of nowhere – so long as we both shall live” I probably should have read over our vows a bit more carefully, but young love makes you say yes to the craziest things. Read more You Can Take a Hike

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Top Ten Completely Wacko Mental Health Myths (If You Believe this Shit, You Must Be Crazy!) #2

How was yesterday’s piece?
Here are some more absolutely batshit crazy things I’ve noticed.

There is an ‘Autistic Community’ Who All Think the Same things.


WRONG!
There are autistic individuals, and some support mainstream SJW ideology; others don’t. The Autistic Dark Web is an emerging movement that questions politically correct orthodoxies like neurodiversity, or the social model of disability.

People with Asperger’s Like Being Called ‘Aspies.’

Read more Top Ten Completely Wacko Mental Health Myths (If You Believe this Shit, You Must Be Crazy!) #2

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Top Ten Completely Wacko Mental Health Myths (If You Believe This Shit, You Must Be Crazy!) #1

Psychotics are Dangerous and Evil.


WRONG!
People often seem to confuse psychosis with psychopathy.
“Most people with psychosis are more likely to harm themselves than others.”
Source: NHS

Autistic People Lack Empathy.

Read more Top Ten Completely Wacko Mental Health Myths (If You Believe This Shit, You Must Be Crazy!) #1

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Have A Trump-Free Day!

It is time to institute a new holiday into our already heavily laden days-off agenda. (Our brethren government employees always want more excuses for days off!)

With the sudden stress that has seized the nerves of our entire nation due to the radical changes in politics these last two years ,we need a cooling off period; much like what is going on with the Fukishima nuclear reactor that was totaled by a tidal wave on the Japanese coast a while back. We need a time out, a recess, a nappy time…

Just like Miss Julie used to give us in kindergarten, when she herself needed a break from us kids; rather than having a breakdown herself!

Much of the cause of this stress for many U.S. citizens (and a lot of people in the rest of the world as well!) is our Commandant in Chief… Read more Have A Trump-Free Day!

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Welcome to Portland

[The following is a message from the Portland, Oregon Visitors’ Bureau.]

Welcome to Portland, Oregon, America’s Most Liberal City.

If you’re planning to spend a few days in the Rose City, we at the Portland Visitor’s Bureau would like to offer a few friendly suggestions to help make your stay as pleasant as possible.

First, we might as well get this one right out of the way. In Portland, we’re slightly left of center in our politics. If you’re a lifelong Republican or you accidentally voted for Donald Trump, no need to apologize. But, you might want to rethink your travel plans. We hear Tulsa is a place you might enjoy, with its expansive plains and oil rig fields.

But if you’re someone who thinks Hillary should have been our 45th president, or better still, Bernie, or even better yet, Spider-Man, then you’ll feel right at home here. Our city’s motto is KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD. In case you thought that was Austin, Texas’ motto, you’re right. We don’t mind sharing. Read more Welcome to Portland

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Uncouth Act at Remembrance Day Inspires Award-Winning Poem


London Poet Alan Wright has won ‘Poem of the year 2018’ – an impromptu poem recital, inspired by the actions of an uncouth man in the crowd at London’s Remembrance Day.

Wright 52, told Glossy News:

“I was asked to recite a poem at Remembrance Day in London, to honour the sacrifices British soldiers have made in past wars. Her Majesty the Queen and leaders of the main political parties laid down wreaths at the base of the cenotaph, and a two minute’s silence was impeccably observed. Read more Uncouth Act at Remembrance Day Inspires Award-Winning Poem

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Glossy News Has Published Our First Book! Never Have I Ever: the Game in Book Form

You know those $30 board games you play that are really wicked and really fun? Yeah, we made our own version, and it’s in book form; and it’s available for $5.99 on the first edition. The second edition promises to cost more; but this one is really fun, superbly clever, and wicked as all-get-out.

It’s the culmination of over a year’s work and we’re really proud of it.

The book is available here on Amazon.

There are rules of course, and play pieces you can cut out from the back page. But all that’s purely secondary to the replayability of it all.

With an average of 30-questions to finish the game, and over 800 questions in the book, the replay value promises to be around 28-plays.

Compare that with Cards Against Humanity which costs $26, and has a replay value of about two times. This game is around 21-cents a play, versus $13. I mean, you’re coming out ahead right out of the gate, but don’t take it from me! Read more Glossy News Has Published Our First Book! Never Have I Ever: the Game in Book Form

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OMG! World’s Logic Scholars Left Reeling in Mass Suicide: Donald Trump Makes ‘Impossible Discovery!’

Since the days of Aristotle, logic has been considered a cornerstone of civilisation.

Logicians have been highly respected (and despised) scholars, and while nobody particularly likes them, their intellectual credentials have generally been considered second to none. Despite the cavils of Tertullian, Martin Luther, Al-Ghazali and many others, critical thinking and philosophy has remained an important staple of the academic world.

Read more OMG! World’s Logic Scholars Left Reeling in Mass Suicide: Donald Trump Makes ‘Impossible Discovery!’

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Incel Culture & Neurodiversity: Two Sides of the Same Coin?


I recently moved towards a dialogue on Twitter; and while I knew debates over Neurodiversity were pretty ugly things, even I was shocked at the bizarre distortions of my calls for autistic males to reject victimhood; whether out of malice, ignorance or carelessness, these were changed (by the bizarre postmodernist sleight of hand of my opponents) into calls for victimhood.
Of course, I’m not going to become a victim in turn; those familiar with my writing know I have been consistently opposing autistic victimhood and entitlement for some time. That’s one reason why I reject Neurodiversity. However, I do want to discuss a selection of today’s commentary from myself and others, in order to show why incel culture and Neurodiversity are both deeply, deeply toxic ideological phenomena.
Just to shake things up a bit, let’s start with something that was from a little later on in the evening: Read more Incel Culture & Neurodiversity: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

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My Private Workout with Obama

[The following is a 100% partially true story].

People routinely accuse me of telling over-the-top fabricated stories in Glossy News. They make these outrageously unfair accusations just because I may bend the truth a tiny bit occasionally – and by occasionally, I mean not more than 80% of the time. (The other 20% I’m telling the truth, although, admittedly, that’s usually by accident). Read more My Private Workout with Obama

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Brainy Sacramento Solve Police Brutality Problem: African Americans Banned from Carrying Cell Phones!


Most of you will have seen the recent scandal where the police shot an unarmed black man multiple times in the back while he was standing in his own grandmother’s back yard, holding a cell phone that officers mistook for a gun. Read more Brainy Sacramento Solve Police Brutality Problem: African Americans Banned from Carrying Cell Phones!

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Alleged Faked Photographs Challenge Credibility Of Wildlife Photographer Of The Year Awards


London’s Natural History Museum has been forced to rethink the entry requirements for its Wildlife Photographer of the Year awards.

Once again, a prizewinning entry has been subsequently disqualified. That image, entered in the 2017 competition and called The Night Raider, depicts an anteater near a termite mound in Brazil. Read more Alleged Faked Photographs Challenge Credibility Of Wildlife Photographer Of The Year Awards

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