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Stop Darwinophobia Now! Dawkinsism is the Science of Peace

Stop Darwinophobia Now! Dawkinsism is the Science of Peace

I’m sick of all these privileged bigots claiming that New Atheists are somehow ‘superior’ to the Moderate Political Islamist Community.

I mean, remember when A C Grayling was advocating beheading everyone who insulted his wife, or when Richard Dawkins wanted to stone people who denied the literal inspired word of Darwin?

This stuff is happening all the time! Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Mosquitoes- The Mini-Mes Of Vampires

Mosquitoes- The Mini-Mes Of Vampires

Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses.

They are adept enough to fly up, whine in your ear, then take off laughing as you whip yourself in the head trying to swat them.

They know how to hold a victim in suspense as they flit about having the wiles to dodge the hand raised in self defense. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Science0 Comments

POMO Priorities (The Ballad of How Occidental Civilization Was Won & Lost)

POMO Priorities (The Ballad of How Occidental Civilization Was Won & Lost)

1. Don’t say REAL MEN DON’T RAPE! That’s essentialist!

 

But men shouldn’t rape…?

STFU! Essentialist!!!!!

***

2. OMG! Stop comparing the Brotherhood to ISIS!

 

But they’re theocrats…

OMG! #Hashtag, not all moderate political Islamists! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Human Interest0 Comments

Psychiatrists reach Opposite Conclusions about President Trump’s Mental Health

Psychiatrists reach Opposite Conclusions about President Trump’s Mental Health

Dateline: NEW YORK CITY—On Monday, Feb 15, the New York Times published a letter signed by 37 psychiatrists who expressed severe doubts about President Trump’s mental health.

Trump “appears to have had the fragile mind of a two-year old implanted into his 70 year-old brain,” said the psychiatrists. “Our expert medical opinion is that President Trump is off his rocker. More specifically, he’s fallen off his rocker, landed on the floor, rolled off the floor and out the front door, down the steps and down the mountain side, splashed into the ocean and sank into a volcano at the bottom of the sea.”

Thanks to the technological services of an anonymous group of hackers, 200 million Americans were able to simultaneously pipe their response to the letter directly into the bedrooms of all 37 psychiatrists. Transmitted at a deafening decibel, the response was, “No shit, Captain Obvious!”

Two days later, the NY Times published a letter signed by 37 different psychiatrists who reached the opposite conclusion, that Trump’s mental state is as healthy as anyone’s can be.

Curiously, both letters were signed by 20 men and 17 women. One of the male psychiatrists who signed the first letter is a little person, and one who signed the second is also a little person.

Three of the men who signed the first letter, and three of the different men who signed the second all have 9 inch-long scraggly beards that have the same mixed shades of brown and grey.

Two of the women who signed the first letter, and two of the different women who signed the second have had mastectomies.

This has led one physicist to blame the mirroring effect on spillover from other universes in the multiverse.

Another physicist, Eugene Nerdopolous, has posited what he calls the “Of Course Principle” to explain the puzzling phenomenon of professionals who cancel each other out in psychiatry and in several other sciences.

“To paraphrase Isaac Newton,” he says, “for every psychiatrist there’s an equal and opposite psychiatrist.

“And the same holds in any scientific field in which a lot of money is at stake for the scientist. If one blood spatter expert is willing to testify that the blood left at the crime scene was caused by a gruesome act of murder, of course another will testify that the red fluid isn’t blood at all, but raspberry filling from a squashed donut.”

The differences aren’t due merely to the ambiguity of the subject matter, which could allow for different rational interpretations. “It’s more a question of the world mocking our vain attempts to understand and control it. When 37 psychiatrists think anyone needs them to state the obvious about Trump, and then the universe throws up 37 equal and opposite psychiatrists, something’s having a laugh at our expense.”

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Posted in Health, Politics, Science0 Comments

Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno

Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno

C is for cat and E is for elephant.

Every young child in the English-speaking world knows these two basic facts, thanks to the rhymes and illustrations of children’s alphabet books.

However, it turns out, according to author Alfred Labette, that these books have not been entirely forthcoming with the younger generations since their inception.

Labette shared a little-known secret that nearly every alphabet book published since the height of the Roman Empire has skipped past the under-appreciated Elemeno.

“People assume X is the letter that gives us all the trouble,” Labette explains. “But it’s really the elusive Elemeno that makes things difficult. And no wonder it’s forgotten with how quickly we rush through that part of the song.” Alfred, or Alf to his friends, says he has approached the problem from multiple angles, including using animal names from other languages and even mythical creatures. “I’ve got some ideas brewing that are lightyears beyond any other of those sophomoric authors,” Labette declares with pride in his eyes.

A tortured soul to say the least, Labette wakes up every morning, stares at a blank piece of paper for three hours, and then pours through line after line of text on the Internet, looking for inspiration until the caffeine and vitamin B finally wear off. His deadline is fast approaching with just under three weeks to find the answer.

Still, Labette is confident he will have the first true alphabet animal book assembled and published, complete from aardvark to zorgon.

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (2/2)

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (2/2)

Last time, I brought you a disturbing tale of a pompous campus intellectual who did more harm than good when presuming to speak for asylum seekers.

Unfortunately, I have even more evidence to show that not only does he not avoid misogyny when talking about the Cologne rapes…

He doesn’t even avoid racism, cultural stereotyping or smearing and sweepingly dehumanizing ALL asylum seekers either, by disingenuously characterizing them as ‘culturally diverse’ rapists..

Instead of as individuals who all have different characters, personalities, and points of view.

Like, OMG! Surely not! Can you but IMAGINE…!!!!!!!!!!!! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Strange People0 Comments

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (1/2)

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (1/2)

The thing about the postmodernist social justice left is that they often harm the very people they claim to be helping.

The following story is about a (not so?) well meaning middle class latte liberal who wants to stand up for asylum seekers, and ends up smearing them, patronizing them, and making them all guilty with association with the bad guys.

Talk about…

Acceptable Orientalism?! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Strange People0 Comments

Banned “Male Health” Documentary from 1952 (Part 2)

Banned “Male Health” Documentary from 1952 (Part 2)

We tracked down a banned 1950s virility documentary film, and we present it to you essentially un-edited. Sure, we cleaned it up a bit, made it look nicer, but it’s essentially as it was meant to be.

 

Watch it here!

Watch it here!

Watch it here!

Watch it here!

Watch it here!

Watch it here!

Owch…

I think you just snapped something.

And also check out part one for added context and fun.

Royalty-free music “Last Kiss Goodnight” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com.

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Posted in Health, Human Interest, Video News0 Comments

Mass Atrocities? It’s Really Not About the Numbers

Mass Atrocities? It’s Really Not About the Numbers

Some recent Tweets of mine, lightly edited.
Recently someone said to me the Holocaust would have been ‘less bad’ if 9 thousand were murdered instead of 9 million.
The Holocaust ain’t about the numbers, you fucking morons. Mass atrocities are about individual human suffering. Kill 1 life = murder the world!
The moral significance of mass atrocities is entirely & exclusively QUALITATIVE in character, not QUANTITATIVE. Numbers are utterly irrelevant.
Those who idly debate whether the Holocaust/Gulags/War on Terror are better, worse or the same use a similar logic to the perpetrators!
***
To this I can only add:
Get a grip!
P.S. For those interested in this topic, check out the notion of ‘incommensurability’ as discussed (for example) by the liberal scholars Isaiah Berlin and John Gray.
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Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary0 Comments

I am Not Unity, and I am Not Division

I am Not Unity, and I am Not Division

The only thing to be afraid of is fear itself.

Be good to the one person who needs your respect and gentleness more than any other person.

A million friends and family cannot carry the burden that your one caressing hand can bring you.

Many loves begin and end, but by cultivating your own narrow little garden, forests unseen shall bloom, carried forth in splendor by the wings of the wind.

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Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary0 Comments

NEWSFLASH: Republican Party Flip-Flop, Embrace ‘Sodomy’

NEWSFLASH: Republican Party Flip-Flop, Embrace ‘Sodomy’

download (69)

Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.

Ezekiel 16: 49

It’s just horrifying to hear the Republican Party have finally backslidden, and embraced the evil sin of Sodom!

May this needy God of theirs have mercy on their souls.

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Religionism0 Comments

The Weather Moaning Tradition

The Weather Moaning Tradition

The new spate of chilly and foggy ongoing weather conditions has left the crossed-armed and annoyed Britons shaking their heads in disgust. No place has been spared, ranging from Cumbria through West Scotland, the South West, Wales, and even as far as other neighbouring locations. But at the same time, the prospect of getting the chance to moan once again about the dull weather that has been ongoing for a few weeks has equally filled all of them with a collective pleasure.

John Youknowho, an inhabitant of the rainy Peak District revealed to us: ‘Did you have the opportunity to look at the weather conditions where we are? We have never seen anything like this ever before. The authorities are not helping nor the council. It’s just great. I feel like a pig in a pigsty. The last few days, I really could not stop myself from complaining about the weather from the time that I stepped out of bed to find myself knee deep in water, not that you from the south actually care, to the time I ordered my last drink at the pub as we pumped the water out. I’ve spent my whole day in this dull and raining weather and I’m loving every bit of it.’

Mr John’s moaning was joined by another fellow moaner in Wales who revealed about their happiness of getting the opportunity to shout at the council officials who were in the incapacity of providing any help as it was the weekend. A group of pensioners were verbally wishing that one of their group would get lost in the fog and get hit by something. They could then freely blame someone and moan about not being able to attend the funeral.

Until you find another prospect of happily complaining about the weather or any other situation to keep the tradition going, you can try exciting weather themed online slots at Magical Vegas such as such as Cloud Quest, Natural Powers, Noah’s Ark, and Tornado Farm Escape. Here you won’t have the opportunity to complain with its large variety of games such as online slots, roulette, table and card games, and online casino games to keep you entertained through your mobile device in any weather conditions, anywhere and anytime.  What’s even better is that you get no deposit free spins!

Back in London, thousands of commuters got the opportunity to rejoice and moan about the derailment of a South-eastern freight train, even though it was not the fault of the weather. This led to the services being delayed and another ideal occasion for the Londoners to express their discontentment of commuting in such harsh weather conditions. They were getting squashed in the train stations and battling to get out of this chaos while hoping to get home safe, if ever they manage to go back home. While waiting to have some info about the next train that could get them to their destinations, many jumped on this situation to google how to claim their fares back or are happily taking a day off from work hoping that the weather gets worst.

 

 

 

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EPIC Album Dream Team: Charles Manson Joins Kanye Turbo Grafx 16 Family!

EPIC Album Dream Team: Charles Manson Joins Kanye Turbo Grafx 16 Family!

Kanye West has once again surprised his fans and critics alike by announcing plans to collaborate with the infamous serial killer Charles Manson on an upcoming album.

Turbo Grafx 16 promises to be the most edgy and non-conformist albums yet from one of the most creative and innovative stars of rap.

Yet sadly, contrary to persistent rumours in recent times, Kanye West is not collaborating with fellow artistic geniuses Vanilla Ice and Justin Bieber.

So, it really is just Kanye ‘n’ Charles this time! Or as Kanye himself calls him: Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Music4 Comments

Glossy News Classics VII. P. Beckert’s ‘GOP Blames Rise in Lesbianism on Obama Adminstration.’

Glossy News Classics VII. P. Beckert’s ‘GOP Blames Rise in Lesbianism on Obama Adminstration.’

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Patti’s corpus is vast and well worth reading. Explore it!

***

On Tuesday night, President Barack Obama gave his 5th State of the Union address. It was a mixed bag, if you ask anyone who was listening. As usual, Obama failed in his attempt to bring the country to a closer understanding of each other. The GOP response to the SOTU address proved that point. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Society0 Comments

The secret to maintaining your New Year’s Resolutions…

The secret to maintaining your New Year’s Resolutions…

New Years Resolutions - the list 2017… is never to make any, of course. I mean, seriously. Just look at my track record over the past twenty years. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

What’s Under a Pony’s Tail?

What’s Under a Pony’s Tail?

© 2017 Tom Skulldaney

I write regulations for the government’s Farm Improvement and Protection Bureau. I know nothing about farms. But I do know you can’t get ahead in a bureaucracy if you know too much about what you’re doing. It grates on your fellow bureaucrats and gets on the boss’s nerves. The rule I go by is: If your regulations do not create at least four more jobs in the department, stop and rewrite them.

On the wall of my office is an inspirational farm themed poster. Every office is required to have one. Mine is a man in a suit and sunglasses holding up a horse’s tail and pointing underneath it. The caption at the top asks, “What’s Under a Pony’s Tail?” The answer at the bottom is, “The Public”. That is so true.

As regulations proliferate, life gets better. How could it not? I never realized how little attention people paid to the things they do. Now as a regulation writer I notice these things and put them right. When asked how I come up with all my regulations, I tell them it’s because I care enough to keep my eyes open.

For instance, this past weekend I was watching an old black and white movie called Ma and Pa Kettle Back on the Farm. In one scene, Ma Kettle walks into the chicken pen and just starts tossing grain around willy nilly. It annoyed me how little thought she put into it. Very haphazard. Her indifference caused some of the grist to go completely through the wire mesh and drop useless on the ground outside. Some was ruined when it landed in the little water troughs ringing the coop. And not a small portion ended up on the backs of the chickens sending them running off in all directions pecking at each other. Her laughter at their antics grated on me. I felt this to be a carelessness that was begging to be addressed.

That led to me to create the regulations for Fowl Nourishment Distribution. I drew detailed illustrations of the correct right-handed and left-handed distribution methods. And explicitly outlawed the downward toss and the semi swirl method. The one Ma Kettle used. Equipment requirements included an irrometer for current soil conditions (both moisture and content), an anemometer for wind speed and direction, and a balloon borne Rawinsonde (to an altitude of not less than 1,500 feet). This was for monitoring real time meteorological data in case conditions changed during the feeding.

The final regulation required a Certificate of Competency along with a completed Current Feeding Conditions form. Both had to be in the feeder’s possession at all times. It also prohibited the feeding of fowl by anyone under the age of 18. Because of my boss’s belief in employee empowerment I was also able to assess the amount of the fine. I decided on $1,000 for the first infraction, $3,000 for the second and the third would mandate the confiscation of all farm animals including pets, livestock and minors under the age of 14.

I impressed my boss when I included details for property seizure and subsequent liquidations via public auctions. As my reward for such thoroughness I was sent to a rural area of the country to gain an expertise in regulation enforcement. I was accompanied by four armed agents and required to carry my “On the spot pad.”

When the public complains about government waste they should be shown this pad. It allows any properly deputized individual to write extemporaneous regulations. If you see something amiss when you are in the market or on a date you can take your pad out and instantly create a binding regulation. The perforated line ¾ the way down the form allows you to add your own fine amount, tear it off and hand it to the offender. Impressive efficiency.

It didn’t take long to spot an infraction. A woman, younger than Ma Kettle but just as reckless, was in the act of thoughtless grain distribution. The five of us approached and I explained to her how she had run afoul of government regulations regarding the feeding of chickens. She was both uncooperative and ungrateful. As I discussed the acceptable forms of payment, no personal checks but we were prepared to accept a credit card, a man hurried out of the farmhouse. When I informed him of our business here he angrily began explaining how a farm really works.

Frightened, one of the enforcement people put his hand on his sidearm and yelled, “Don’t listen!” But, it was too late. I had heard what he said and my job at the Farm Improvement and Protection Bureau was now ruined. Upon our return to the office I confessed to my boss what had happened. He put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Too much knowledge leads to a loss of objectivity. You should know that.” He asked me what I knew about medical procedures. When I told him nothing at all, he brightened and reassigned me to the department that oversees and regulates neurological surgery.

 

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