Tony Blair Orders French Citizens not to Vote for Marine Le Pen

Tony Blair Orders French Citizens not to Vote for Marine Le Pen

Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair is appalled at the recent EU referendum decision in the UK; as well as his failed attempts to prevent Corbyn becoming, and indeed remaining, as Labour leader.
A rather flustered press conference has given him an opportunity to say where people in the UK are going wrong:

Now listen. Some there be who’d say our track record on successful interventions is rather far from shoddy by any means!
I mean, let’s look at it like this, there isn’t any real need for me to talk in detail about how we peacefully liberated the whole of Iraq, assisted with David Cameron’s dethroning of Gaddafi, and held the self-styled Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi’s feet to the fire by calling for ground troops against Daesh.
But our intervention in the EU referendum seems to have taken a peculiar turn. Not one person can ever say with a clear conscience that our intervention in Iraq, under our premiership, did half as much harm as reactionary pacifists are claiming about us.
And we simply have no conception of why our instructions to vote against Jeremy Corbyn were so poorly received. What could possibly account for this? If you don’t want to listen to us now, you ought not to have voted for us in the first place. Look at all we have done for you. We personally have liberated the Middle East, stopped the Serbians from committing genocide, oh and don’t forget Sierra Leone.
Well? What more could a socially conscious British citizen POSSIBLY want from us, in terms of public policy?! Oh and there were a few little things like the minimum wage and social housing too; they may not be of quite such critical and earthshattering importance, but we suppose they have their place.
There is simply no accounting for it at all. Nothing could be more unexpected and shocking that we, I mean we personally, y’know, could instruct the British people on where they were going wrong, and they should just plough on ahead and defy our will!
We mean, such unprecedented and inexplicable arrogance, spite and hubris is simply beyond all comprehension!
Still, never mind, eh? We am, er, we are, going to instruct the French not to vote for Marine Le Pen.
Now, we am quite sure that will just work a treat!

http://satiricalindustrialcomplex.blogspot.com/2017/02/blair-appalled-his-recent.html

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Posted in Top Stories, World News0 Comments

One Day Without Us: Letting Migrants Stay is NOT ‘Idealistic’ or ‘Sentimental’

One Day Without Us: Letting Migrants Stay is NOT ‘Idealistic’ or ‘Sentimental’

Glossy News is a non-partisan satire site.
But even a co-editor is entitled to express one’s view on divisive issues, once in a while.
I’m going down soon to the ‘One Day Without Us’ event in Leeds.
Make sure you go too, if you are interested in this issue.
Here are some tweets to get your brain juices a-movin’!
If you’re unsure and undecided, please remember that the truly hard headed and pragmatic thing to do is to not split up families, unless there is an overwhelming reason to do so.
I don’t believe there is, on this occasion. Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary0 Comments

POMO Priorities (The Ballad of How Occidental Civilization Was Won & Lost)

POMO Priorities (The Ballad of How Occidental Civilization Was Won & Lost)

1. Don’t say REAL MEN DON’T RAPE! That’s essentialist!

 

But men shouldn’t rape…?

STFU! Essentialist!!!!!

***

2. OMG! Stop comparing the Brotherhood to ISIS!

 

But they’re theocrats…

OMG! #Hashtag, not all moderate political Islamists! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Human Interest0 Comments

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (2/2)

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (2/2)

Last time, I brought you a disturbing tale of a pompous campus intellectual who did more harm than good when presuming to speak for asylum seekers.

Unfortunately, I have even more evidence to show that not only does he not avoid misogyny when talking about the Cologne rapes…

He doesn’t even avoid racism, cultural stereotyping or smearing and sweepingly dehumanizing ALL asylum seekers either, by disingenuously characterizing them as ‘culturally diverse’ rapists..

Instead of as individuals who all have different characters, personalities, and points of view.

Like, OMG! Surely not! Can you but IMAGINE…!!!!!!!!!!!! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Strange People0 Comments

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (1/2)

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (1/2)

The thing about the postmodernist social justice left is that they often harm the very people they claim to be helping.

The following story is about a (not so?) well meaning middle class latte liberal who wants to stand up for asylum seekers, and ends up smearing them, patronizing them, and making them all guilty with association with the bad guys.

Talk about…

Acceptable Orientalism?! Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Strange People0 Comments

Fake News for Fake People! (3/3)

This is KIND OF fake news, insofar as it hasn’t actually happened yet.

Loudmouthed Boston characters to replace the previously shy & retiring NYC ones?

C’mon, people!

MAKE IT HAPPEN

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Here’s a salutary lesson for INTELLIGENT Twitter users…

Or not so much, as the case may be.

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Death of a beautiful career?

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Not a fake quote, but easily misunderstood until you probe a little deeper.

Cartman gets an anal probe?

Nah! Ike gets a deeply fastidious one!

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Sorry about the small writing. I guess that’s the least of our worries. What IS IT with this pretentious idiot?

(Sorry, did I mean Ted Haggard or Richard Dawkins?)

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PSSSST!
Don’t worry if the print on that last one was too small to read.
You’re REALLY, REALLY not missing too much.

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Fake Memes for Fake People! (2/3)

WTF? Did Orwell actually say this?

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Citrus surprise looking a little bitter

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Fake tan, fake opinions, fake Trump card

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Fake-o liberals and conservatives in Germany think book burning is more effective than winning the argument against fascism

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Fake Memes for Fake People! (1/3)

Whatever happens, Ensuite Johnny gonna Ensuite! Lookin’ pretty chill there, bro!

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Dave on his best behaviour for the New Year? Pigs will fly! 😉

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There are those who demonize and stereotype autistic folks. But then, there are also those self-diagnosed autistic justice warriors who try to gild us.

Hardly much of an improvement, is it?

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STOP HATE SPEECH AGAINST CORPORATIONS

THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO, AND THEY HAVE FEELINGS!

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***

Psst! Two more instalments coming up tomorrow!
If you have some memes you made and want to share with us, email wallacerunnymede@gmail.com.
We’ll make sure to put ’em up there!
Wallace

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

NEWSFLASH: Republican Party Flip-Flop, Embrace ‘Sodomy’

NEWSFLASH: Republican Party Flip-Flop, Embrace ‘Sodomy’

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Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.

Ezekiel 16: 49

It’s just horrifying to hear the Republican Party have finally backslidden, and embraced the evil sin of Sodom!

May this needy God of theirs have mercy on their souls.

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Religionism0 Comments

Exhausted SLAPP States BEG Litigants: Stop Frivolous Anti-2016 Lawsuits FLOOD!

Exhausted SLAPP States BEG Litigants: Stop Frivolous Anti-2016 Lawsuits FLOOD!

Yesterday, we found out the butthurt DNC wanted to sue 2016 (!)

As with other recent dodgy dealings with the Democratic and Republican establishments, this astonishing act of presumption has set an alarming precedent.

And now, it seems everyone else wants to get in on the game.

A whole TWENTY-EIGHT beleaguered State legislatures are PLEADING with disgruntled anti-2016 hatemongers and bigots to delay any lawsuits they are filing… Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics0 Comments

Butthurt DNC Idiots Decide to SUE 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Butthurt DNC Idiots Decide to SUE 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After watching John Oliver’s ‘Fuck you 2016’ Skit, DNC ‘Ideas Man’ John Podesta decided it wasn’t good enough to just sit and unconstructively rant about 2016. Politics is not about mere sentiment, but about practical reality. Why don’t we sue 2016? Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories0 Comments

EPIC Album Dream Team: Charles Manson Joins Kanye Turbo Grafx 16 Family!

EPIC Album Dream Team: Charles Manson Joins Kanye Turbo Grafx 16 Family!

Kanye West has once again surprised his fans and critics alike by announcing plans to collaborate with the infamous serial killer Charles Manson on an upcoming album.

Turbo Grafx 16 promises to be the most edgy and non-conformist albums yet from one of the most creative and innovative stars of rap.

Yet sadly, contrary to persistent rumours in recent times, Kanye West is not collaborating with fellow artistic geniuses Vanilla Ice and Justin Bieber.

So, it really is just Kanye ‘n’ Charles this time! Or as Kanye himself calls him: Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Music4 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (3/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (3/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715963479623147520 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (2/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (2/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715960731255091201 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (1/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (1/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715959324208676864 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Edgy Memes! Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump!

Edgy Memes! Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump!

Mainstream hipster-baiting dad rock legend Peter Gabriel has recently let his resentment, bitterness, and sense of working class hero white disenfranchisement get the better of him. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

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