U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet


WASHINGTON – In a move described as “accepting reality” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has declared plastic to be “a major food group.”

US FDA spokesperson Carl Manson stated: “We admit that trace amounts of plastic leak into many food products. Significant amounts of plastic appear in other food products, such as fish. However, top scientists all agree that there is nothing wrong with ingesting plastics, as has been proven by generations of long-term studies since the 1960s.” Read more U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet

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Trump Should Attack Russia to Take Heat off RussiaGate Scandal, Experts Say

WASHINGTON – Politicians and media pundits from both political perspectives have called on President Trump to attack Russia as soon as possible to prove once and for all that he is not colluding with Russia.

“The only way for Trump to prove that he isn’t colluding with Russia – is to attack them,” said former National Security Advisor, Dulles Minderbinder on CNN.

Read more Trump Should Attack Russia to Take Heat off RussiaGate Scandal, Experts Say

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Leftists Look Forward to “Constructive Dialogue with Idiotic Trump Supporters”

WASHINGTON – “Trump is Putin’s bitch,” read several signs in the crowd.
A liberal umbrella group called the Coalition for an Integrated America (CIA) held a rally yesterday in Lafayette Square near the White House, protesting Donald Trump’s existence, and calling for his resignation.
Read more Leftists Look Forward to “Constructive Dialogue with Idiotic Trump Supporters”

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Trump Shocker: “Won’t Sign on for Second Season Playing the President”


President Donald Trump announced today that he would not “sign on for a second season playing the President.” Trump admitted that the role of U.S. President was more challenging than he had ever imagined, and his previous acting experience had not fully prepared him for the part. Read more Trump Shocker: “Won’t Sign on for Second Season Playing the President”

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Germany Prepares to Prosecute Millions for Insulting Donald Trump in 2017

BERLIN – Germany’s law against insulting the leaders of foreign governments will be put to the ultimate test when billionaire Twitter personality Donald Trump is sworn in as President of the United States in January 2017.

Insulting President-Elect Donald Trump has become a favorite pastime and even personal crusade for millions of disillusioned people across the world. Many Germans view Trump’s crass expression of his troglodytic weltanschauung as a new all-time low in the history of Western political discourse. Read more Germany Prepares to Prosecute Millions for Insulting Donald Trump in 2017

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