Oscar Snubs Silents This Year
Hollywood’s top silent film producers were shocked to learn that this year’s list of nominees for best picture Oscar included not a single silent picture. “After last year’s win by The Artist,” said producer Milton Oak. “We figured that those…
Future Predictions: What Will 2023 Bring? (Part 1)
Today we start the Predictions of the Future series, in which we ask a number of experts what they see for the year 2023, just ten years out. Predicting the future isn’t simply difficult, it’s damn-near impossible. There’s always a…
Biting Hand That Bailed It, AIG Forced To Drop “American” From Name
Due to the corporation American International Group even THINKING about suing the U.S. Government after getting bailed out by every taxpayer in the country the government has responded by demanding that the company drop the “American” part of their name….
Answer to Gun Control Problem; Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns
Out of the most unseemly of circumstances a solution has come to solve the problems of American gun control, the overbearing political adventures of the NRA and the high cost of ammunition and firearms in America. Red China has introduced…
Raise Your Hands For Gun Control Then… Drop Your Pants
SatireWorld.com – Sure, lets enact a true “Law on Firearms and Ammunition.” This law will require anyone who owns a firearm, or who wants to own a firearm in the future, to register their intentions with our Federal authorities and…
In Response to Obamacare, Medical Schools to Lower Their Standards
In order to address a growing shortage of doctors predicted under the Obamacare program, medical schools across the country have announced that they will be lowering their standards for incoming med students. “We used to accept only the best and…
Weight-Loss Program Guarantees You’ll Lose Interest in Under 2 Weeks
INDIANAPOLIS – As millions of Americans continue to return to post-holiday life, a controversial new weight-loss program – pioneered by a self-help guru in California – guarantees that dieters will lose interest in the program in just 2 weeks. Launching…
China Becomes Puppet State of Malta
News sources from the Far East are reporting that a successful coup has brought the People’s Republic of China under Maltese control as a puppet state. Sleeper agents from the island nation are believed to have been activated last evening…
Obama, You Sold Me (and All Lefties) Out
Hey Barry, hi, how are you? Good, good, glad to hear it. Hey listen, that whole debate you did last week with those dastardly Republicans? Yeah, you totally sold us out. Just had to say it. Us progressives have been…
Glossy News 2013 Predictions: It’s going to snow a lot… somewhere… eventually
Every year since Glossy News first started publishing during the Truman Administration, we have made bold predictions about the year ahead – in politics, world affairs, pop culture and advances in cutlery. Our staff possesses an uncanny ability to peer…