Posted in Health Top Stories

Male Sperm Counts Lower; Women Blamed

Researchers from Israel, The US, Denmark and Australia have reported that male sperm counts have declined 60% in the past 40 years and claim that women simply aren’t doing enough to give their man a good, hard stiffie.

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Posted in Politics

Government Chemtrail Program Deemed a Success

US Government officials declared today that their government sponsored Chemtrail program, which is designed to make people more submissive to government authority, is a total success. “People are more submissive now than at any time in history”, proudly declared US…

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Posted in Human Interest

Driverless Car Impounded for DUI

One of the Google driverless cars has been pulled over and impounded for driving under the influence of ethanol, according to California Highway Patrol officers, he is going to trial with the Best Los Angeles DUI Defense Lawyer. “The car…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Mitt Romney Admits He’s a ‘Douche-bag’

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney dropped out of the Presidential race yesterday stating that he was not qualified for the job. “I’m a douche-bag”, Romney. “I don’t know what’s going on with the American people. You don’t want a loser…

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Posted in World News

Japanese Encouraged to Get Laid More

Faced with a declining birth rate and an ever growing elderly population, Japanese citizens are being encouraged to have more sex. “Japanese men and women seemed to have lost interest in sex!” said prominent Japanese legislative leader Seiko Noda. “We…

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Posted in Politics

Hillary Clinton Latest in Nude Celebrity Photo Scandal

Aspiring Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appears to be the latest notable figure involved in the nude celebrity photo leak scandal, according to traumatized sources who have seen the photos. “I can’t believe I saw those pictures!” said TMZ spokesperson Alicia…

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