Posted in Health Top Stories

Male Sperm Counts Lower; Women Blamed

Researchers from Israel, The US, Denmark and Australia have reported that male sperm counts have declined 60% in the past 40 years and claim that women simply aren’t doing enough to give their man a good, hard stiffie. FIGHT THE…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Male Sperm Counts Lower; Women Blamed
Posted in Politics

Government Chemtrail Program Deemed a Success

US Government officials declared today that their government sponsored Chemtrail program, which is designed to make people more submissive to government authority, is a total success. “People are more submissive now than at any time in history”, proudly declared US…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Government Chemtrail Program Deemed a Success
Posted in Human Interest

Driverless Car Impounded for DUI

One of the Google driverless cars has been pulled over and impounded for driving under the influence of ethanol, according to California Highway Patrol officers, he is going to trial with the Best Los Angeles DUI Defense Lawyer. “The car…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Driverless Car Impounded for DUI
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Mitt Romney Admits He’s a ‘Douche-bag’

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney dropped out of the Presidential race yesterday stating that he was not qualified for the job. “I’m a douche-bag”, Romney. “I don’t know what’s going on with the American people. You don’t want a loser…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mitt Romney Admits He’s a ‘Douche-bag’
Posted in World News

Japanese Encouraged to Get Laid More

Faced with a declining birth rate and an ever growing elderly population, Japanese citizens are being encouraged to have more sex. “Japanese men and women seemed to have lost interest in sex!” said prominent Japanese legislative leader Seiko Noda. “We…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Japanese Encouraged to Get Laid More
Posted in Politics

Hillary Clinton Latest in Nude Celebrity Photo Scandal

Aspiring Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appears to be the latest notable figure involved in the nude celebrity photo leak scandal, according to traumatized sources who have seen the photos. “I can’t believe I saw those pictures!” said TMZ spokesperson Alicia…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hillary Clinton Latest in Nude Celebrity Photo Scandal
Posted in Biz News

Satire Writer Reveals How to Get the Most From Your $100 Hotel Stay

With hotel prices rising and personal income dropping, satire writer NickFun has revealed some clever ways to get the most ‘bang for your buck’ from your hotel stay. “It’s actually pretty easy to get back or even make money from…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Satire Writer Reveals How to Get the Most From Your $100 Hotel Stay
Posted in Human Interest

This Old Man Arrested On Ten Counts of Child Molestation

72 year old Gunther Schnell was arrested this afternoon for 10 counts of child sexual molestation after it was revealed he was performing “knick knack” on various parts of children’s bodies. “Currently we have ten victims”, said arresting officer John…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! This Old Man Arrested On Ten Counts of Child Molestation
Posted in Politics

New California Law Requires College Student to Have Written Consent Before Sex

A new California law requires that before engaging in any type of sexual encounter, college students must first sign a legal document to authorize the act or acts to take place and must be witnessed by at least one uninvolved…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New California Law Requires College Student to Have Written Consent Before Sex
Posted in Politics

Former First Lady Hilary Clinton Admits She and Bill Were Homeless After the White House

In a shocking revelation, former First Ladt Hilary Clinton admits she and her husband were ‘homeless’ after leaving the White House. “We were trying to squeak by on Bill’s pension while trying to pay for Chelsea’s education and we just…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Former First Lady Hilary Clinton Admits She and Bill Were Homeless After the White House
Posted in Politics

John Kerry Threatens to Beat the Shit Out Of Edward Snowden

US Secretary of State John Kerry asked government whistleblower Edward Snowden to return to the US so he can “personally beat the shit out of him.” FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Little-Known Democrat Cover-Up Finally Unearthed:……

WTF?! Click now to find out more! John Kerry Threatens to Beat the Shit Out Of Edward Snowden
Posted in World News

Search for Missing Malaysian Jetliner Extends to Blue Ball, PA

Searchers from 26 countries have now focused their attention on the search for missing Malaysian Airlines flight 370 on the tiny, unincorporated town of Blue Ball, PA. “We had a mysterious radar blip over Blue Ball”, said US Secretary of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Search for Missing Malaysian Jetliner Extends to Blue Ball, PA
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Racing Legend Speed Racer Dead at 63

Former racing legend Speed Racer was found dead in his rented mobile home this afternoon by his ex-wife Trixie Racer. It would appear Speed had been dead at least a month. No cause of death was given until an autopsy…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Racing Legend Speed Racer Dead at 63
Posted in Top Stories

Big Pharma Creates New Polio-Like Virus

Representatives of Big Pharma revealed today that they have created a new polio-like virus and are testing it on California schoolchildren. “We have infected about 30 California schoolchildren far”, said Big Pharma spokesperson Greg Skrewm. “We hope to have reached…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Big Pharma Creates New Polio-Like Virus
Posted in Crime

Judge Rejects 17-Year-Old Drunk Driver Affluenza Defense

A Texas judge threw out the Affluenza defense of a 16-year-old drunk driver today claiming the boy’s family did not make enough money to qualify for that defense. “I am sentencing this boy to three years in prison,” said Texas…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Judge Rejects 17-Year-Old Drunk Driver Affluenza Defense
Posted in Top Stories

North Korean Crimes Against Humanity Almost as Bad as US

The United Nations declared today that atrocities committed by North Korea Security chiefs and possibly even president Kim Jong-un are so horrendous they could be compared to how the US treats prisoners at Guantanamo, Abu Graib and other ‘secret’ prisons…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! North Korean Crimes Against Humanity Almost as Bad as US
Posted in Politics Society

To Avoid Drought Disaster, California Governor Asks Residents to Pee Outside

In a desperate attempt to avoid a statewide water shortage, California governor Jerry Brown has requested that all men and women in the state pee outside in the woods, on the lawn or in a garden area. “These are desperate…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! To Avoid Drought Disaster, California Governor Asks Residents to Pee Outside
Posted in Top Stories

NASA: Aliens Dropped ‘Jelly Donut” Rock In Front of Mars Rover

NASA scientists have discarded all previous theories as to how a mysterious ‘jelly donut’ rock appeared beside the Mars Rover Opportunity and now say it must have been dropped there by aliens. “We have ruled out every other explanation”, said…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! NASA: Aliens Dropped ‘Jelly Donut” Rock In Front of Mars Rover
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Miley Cyrus to Undergo Sex Change Operation

Twerking, gyrating, Wrecking Ball queen Mile Cyrus announced today that she is secretly a man and will be undergoing a sex-change operation at the end of July. “I have never felt comfortable as a woman”, Cyrus told reporters. “Guys just…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Miley Cyrus to Undergo Sex Change Operation
Posted in Human Interest Society

Mega Millions to Exceed $200 Billion

After many months of no winner, the Mega Millions jackpot has now soared to over $200 billion, according to Mega Millions lead director Paula Otto. “Whoever wins this jackpot will be the richest person on Earth”, Otto stated. “they will…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mega Millions to Exceed $200 Billion
Posted in Crime Science & Technologizzy

Time Traveler Arrested for Killing His Grandfather

Josh Holbecker, a 25 year old time traveler from the year 2072, was arrested this morning after traveling back in time and killing his grandfather, 22-year-old Harvard graduate student Ernest Holbecker. Josh claims that his father, who has not yet…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Time Traveler Arrested for Killing His Grandfather
Posted in Biz News Top Stories

Drug Makers Reintroduce Measles to America

Spokespersons for GlaxoSmithKline, Merk, Pfizer and other makers of immunization therapies stated today that the pharmaceutical industry is reintroducing the measles virus to America. “The measles virus was eradicated throughout most of the world”, said Pfizer spokesperson Juliette Riposs. “Fewer…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Drug Makers Reintroduce Measles to America
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Since Breakup From Orlando Bloom, Many Men Now Fantasizing About Miranda Kerr

After reports surfaced that former Victoria’s Secrets model Miranda Kerr has split from her husband Orlando Bloom, millions of men admit to having fantasies about dating or having sex with her. “Goddamn she’s single now!” exclaimed Nebraska construction worker Gerald…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Since Breakup From Orlando Bloom, Many Men Now Fantasizing About Miranda Kerr
Posted in Top Stories

Bradley Manning To Be Transferred to All-Female Prison

Convicted military whistle-blower Bradley Manning, now known as Chelsea E. Manning, will be reprimanded to the all-female Federal Prison Camp in Alderson, WV to serve out his 35 year prison sentence, according to sentencing officials. “Now that Manning claims he’s…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bradley Manning To Be Transferred to All-Female Prison
Posted in Opinion/Editorial Society

Dear Nick: The Practical Advice Column

I’ve grown disheartened with standard advice columns such as “Dear Abby” and “Ask Amy”. We are all long overdue for a practical advice column with some real-life answers. Here are a few questions and home-spun practical advice from the advice-master…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dear Nick: The Practical Advice Column
Posted in Biz News

Hasbro Introduces PTSD GI Joe

In an effort to introduce children to the realities of war, Hasbro Inc. announced today that it will begin marketing the new PTSD GI Joe. “Up until now we have always presented GI Joe as being fearless, ready to kill…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hasbro Introduces PTSD GI Joe
Posted in Politics Top Stories

To Avoid Political Scandal, Devoted Wife Teresa Heinz Kerry Becomes Ill

Just as the media started to descend on Secretary of State John Kerry for vacationing aboard his yacht while Egypt crumbled, his wife had some sort of mysterious seizure taking the spotlight off him. “My wife is so wonderful she…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! To Avoid Political Scandal, Devoted Wife Teresa Heinz Kerry Becomes Ill
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Edward Snowden Warns: National Security Agency (NSA) Is Watching You Masturbate

Government whistleblower Edward Snowden warned US citizens today that the NSA has confiscated the cameras of all computers and they are surreptitiously watching all Americans masturbate. “Even when you don’t think you’re online or even when your computer is turned…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Edward Snowden Warns: National Security Agency (NSA) Is Watching You Masturbate
Posted in Crime Society

Feds to Renew Hunt For Jimmy Hoffa

After failing to find his body in a field in Oakland Township, MI, federal authorities announced today that they have found several other locations throughout the United States that may be hiding the body of former Teamsters Boss Jimmy Hoffa….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Feds to Renew Hunt For Jimmy Hoffa
Posted in Top Stories

Student Not Traumatized After Sex With Teacher

15-year-old Josh Hanby claims he was not at all traumatized after having sex with his 27-year-old French Teacher Ms. Elaine Francois and actually seemed to enjoy the experience. “Man, it was fricking great!” Hanby stated. “She’s smokin hot! I’d do…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Student Not Traumatized After Sex With Teacher