Justin Bieber May Soon Start Using Heroin, Meth According to Experts
Experts examining a recent photo of Justin Bieber smoking marijuana fear that the youthful pop star may soon graduate to harder drugs such as heroin and methamphetamines. “Pot is a gateway drug to harder substances”, said Los Angeles youth counselor…
Florida Woman Makes Son Turn Down TV to “Conserve Sound”
A Jacksonville, Florida native has drawn widespread attention after asking her son to turn down his television in order to save sound. Gladys Welsh, age 83, was heard yelling to her son Timmy, age 45, to lower the volume on…
Non-Booby Barbie Attracting Attention
A while back Mattel Inc. announced that it would be ‘downsizing’ their trademark, their symbol, their meal ticket, the Barbie doll. Barbie, that picture perfect plastic woman doll who represented many a young girl’s dreams of femininity. “Downsizing’ in this…
Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) Takes Broom Ride During Congressional Photo-Op
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) – Rep. Rosa DeLauro(D-CT), wore her ‘Black Sabbath Best’ to the Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi sponsored photo opportunity with the Democratic women of the House to highlight the historic diversity of the House Democratic Caucus in…
Sensible Gun-Control Proposals Obvious, Impossible
In the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre the question of gun control has come up once again. Sure, we can’t blame people, or guns, or bullets, so I guess the onus falls on firing pins, and they’re the real…
Egyptian President Says He is “Too Cool for School”
Egypt’s young people are outraged following President Mohammed Morsi’s announcement that he is “Too cool for school.” Morsi reportedly made the declaration before a crowd of fifth graders during a school visit in the Cairo suburbs meant to promote Egypt’s…
Jesus Cancels 2nd Coming Because People Have Screwed Up His Birthday
The long awaited Second Coming of Jesus Christ has been canceled. Jesus Himself has ordered this. Coming down incognito to plan for his much anticipated descension to the same world that had rejected him so many millenia ago, He scoped…
Hillary Clinton Poisoned By Palestinian Terrorists
Contrary to published reports, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton did not suffer digestive difficulties followed by a fainting spell followed by a blood clot but was actually poisoned by unnamed Palestinian militant terrorists. “We knew most people weren’t falling for…
Americans, Driven Mad By Politics, Jump Like Lemmings Over the Fiscal Cliff
Driven to the brink of their sanity by the constant warnings from politicians over what would happen if we went over the fiscal cliff thousands of Americans have gone ahead and jumped over the brink of the fiscal cliff on…
Fat People Live Longer, Healthier Lives, According to New Research
It’s finally time to get off the treadmill and stuff down some pork sausage as researchers have determined that people who have at least 30% body fat live longer, healthier lives than their active, slim counterparts.