WTF?! Top 5 Brexit Conspiracy Theories: Which One Did YOU Fall For?! Click & Share!

What Brexit is, and What it Isn’t!

Don’t be fooled by Project Fear.

They are all pillars of the mainstream CENTRIST establishment. Brexit, or if you will, REAL Brexit, the one so many, many, untold millions have had in mind for really quite a very long time indeed, is NOT:

1. A Right-Wing Plot.

There are plenty of counter-examples to conspiracy theory #1. You may like Jeremy Corbyn, George Galloway, Neil Clark and so many, many others; you may not. Either way, the evidence is clear: Brexit is only sectarian if you want to MAKE it sectarian.

Read more WTF?! Top 5 Brexit Conspiracy Theories: Which One Did YOU Fall For?! Click & Share!

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Happy Belated Birthday Greetings to Our Sikh Friends!

I don’t know how many Sikh readers we have, but I would hope we have quite a few! Recently, it was the birthday of Guru Nanak, the first of the ten Sikh gurus; also the first of the nine human gurus (this is interesting; if you are not a Sikh, you can research this!)

We at Glossy News wish our Sikh friends well, and we hope your humane and noble faith will continue to shine a little light on our darkened world!

Burn worldly love,
Rub the ashes and make ink of it,
Make the heart the pen,
The intellect the writer,
Write that which has no end or limit

Guru Nanak

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Welcome to Portland

[The following is a message from the Portland, Oregon Visitors’ Bureau.]

Welcome to Portland, Oregon, America’s Most Liberal City.

If you’re planning to spend a few days in the Rose City, we at the Portland Visitor’s Bureau would like to offer a few friendly suggestions to help make your stay as pleasant as possible.

First, we might as well get this one right out of the way. In Portland, we’re slightly left of center in our politics. If you’re a lifelong Republican or you accidentally voted for Donald Trump, no need to apologize. But, you might want to rethink your travel plans. We hear Tulsa is a place you might enjoy, with its expansive plains and oil rig fields.

But if you’re someone who thinks Hillary should have been our 45th president, or better still, Bernie, or even better yet, Spider-Man, then you’ll feel right at home here. Our city’s motto is KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD. In case you thought that was Austin, Texas’ motto, you’re right. We don’t mind sharing. Read more Welcome to Portland

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Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 2)

History

History? Y’all are so busy trying to work out the ‘facts,’ that you got no time to work out the truth. Priorities, white people! Funny how, when people search for facts, you always end up getting partisan bullshit; while when I search for the truth, I always get the truth? Ever wonder why? Well, ain’t postmodernism just awesome! Read more Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 2)

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Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 1)

Well hi there, people of white extraction! Have you had a good condescending, uninformed ‘splain to some poor schmuck on Medium right now?

Well, it’s about time y’all shut up, and started listening to me instead. Now, I know you have whitewashed our language here in Amuuuuuhrika, and you keep saying that we somehow ‘owe you’ these white discursive norms and white epistemological constructs like as objectivity, dispassion, evidence, logical rigor. Read more Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 1)

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Centrist ‘Tolerance’ Has its Limitations… ?! Surely Not!

The first time a sentry sees a barbarian marauding towards him with fangs bared, he shoots him dead on sight.

At your first glance of a bad faith interlocutor, you should act likewise; but with the arms of the spirit, and not the flesh.

So here’s a good example: Read more Centrist ‘Tolerance’ Has its Limitations… ?! Surely Not!

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But I’m Oppressed! (SPOILER: No You’re Not!) (4/4)

Kult-App

Cultural appropriation is when a dominant and imperialistic culture steals the culture of another culture or sub-culture, without acknowledging it.

Y’know, like the Quran ‘helpfully borrowing’ stories from Jews and Christians. Read more But I’m Oppressed! (SPOILER: No You’re Not!) (4/4)

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My Open Letter to the Guy Crossing the Street Against Traffic Without Looking up

Dear person who never looks up while crossing the street, no matter how much traffic there is,

Hey, how’s it going? I hope I didn’t interrupt you from anything important. Please, by all means, go ahead and finish texting LOL to your friend Brad. Don’t forget the smiley face emoticon. Your text is far more important than anything I have to discuss with you. I’ll wait……… Done yet? Super.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. You see, I’m the guy whose car almost creamed you earlier today when you walked into traffic against the light and never once looked up. I doubt you remember me.

I can imagine it must have been hard to hear my horn blaring or my brakes screeching to avoid hitting you, what with that AC / DC song playing on your iPod at 175 decibels. I could hear them rocking away from inside my car with my windows up. I have to say, excellent choice in music, dude. Can’t go wrong with Highway to Hell – a classic.

You know, when I was young, I was taught that the center of the solar system was the sun. I now realize that my teacher lied to me – because clearly the solar system revolves around an eight-inch space between those earbuds of yours.

Okay, so technically I may have had the “legal” right of way over you, seeing as the light was green for me, and you had that annoying, flashing DON’T WALK sign that you probably missed since it didn’t flash on your cell phone. But hey, who has time to read street signs when they’re busy checking out their Facebook page, am I right?

Anyhoo, what I was trying to say is I apologize. I’m deeply sorry if my car’s front bumper photobombed the Selfie you were taking. Given that my windshield was merely four feet away from your rib cage when our paths crossed, I fear I may have ruined your Snapchat moment.

I must confess, I envy you just a little. You looked so at peace – so completely unbothered by the gridlock you created for all those cars behind me trying in vain to make it through the intersection. I am in awe of your composure in the face of a long line of irate drivers who would have happily made you into a hood ornament.

A lesser person would have been intimidated at the thought of 4,000 pounds of steel bearing down on them at the speed of a hungry cheetah. But not you. You were so courageous, completely undaunted. Even the screams of the maddening crowd didn’t shake your certitude that the urban seas would part to make way for your triumphant, regal crossing. Way to make an entrance, King Cell Phone Dude.

And I simply must applaud your amazing ability to keep your eyes focused downward during your entire crossing. As I was trying in vain to get your attention, your eyes never once wandered from your cell phone screen during your entire 36-foot journey from curb to curb. I doubt a nuclear explosion could have diverted your concentration away from whatever YouTube roomba cat video you were locked in on.

Ya’ know, sometimes I find myself having to stop what I’m doing and pay attention to other people around me who insist that I observe basic courtesies of a modern society. You don’t suffer from that affliction. Not one bit. It must be nice not to have to worry about anything outside of a two-foot radius of your thumbs. What’s important to me is that you were able to saunter across the street at your own leisurely pace, without having to worry about anyone else on this planet. I am in awe of you.

I hope our paths cross again sometime. Perhaps we’ll meet on an airplane. I’ll be the guy right behind you in line waiting for fifteen minutes while you attempt to squeeze a suitcase the size of a refrigerator into the overhead compartment.

But if I know you – and I’m pretty sure I do – you won’t notice me then either. And that’s okay. Because no matter how long you make me wait for you to place your special order at the drive thru or ask the bank teller to convert your collection of 2,578 pennies into dollar bills, it’s okay. Take your time. Please don’t hurry on my account. All that matters to me – and the other 25 people in line behind you – is that you focus on the needs of Numero Uno, buddy. Act like we’re not even here. That should be easy for you to do.

On behalf of all the people in this world who are forced to wait on the outside of whatever impenetrable magic bubble you live in, I just want to say, thank you for reminding all of us that your time is more valuable than ours.

Warmest regards,

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