Archive | Books, Newspapers & Misc

U.S. Establishes Ministry of Truth to Combat Fake News

U.S. Establishes Ministry of Truth to Combat Fake News

WASHINGTON – In response to the growing epidemic of “fake news,” President Obama today announced the creation of a new department of the federal government, the Ministry of Truth.

“As a Constitutional scholar, I can assure you that the Founding Fathers of our nation never intended the sacred First Amendment rights of freedom of speech and freedom of the press to apply to websites peddling ‘fake news’. The Founding Fathers well understood the importance of controlling the political narrative,” stated Obama.

“Let me be clear: ‘fake news’ is an enormous problem. So we need a war on fake news like never before. We will work closely with the more established and reliable media companies, including social media, to stamp out the threat that so many independent voices poses to our democracy.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics, World News0 Comments

What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (2/2)

What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (2/2)

TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES

 

Contestants will don the uniform of their countries secret police to torment detainees, both legitimate and innocent, for information.

The players will be judged on both the quality of the information acquired and the inventiveness of the techniques used to get that information. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Top Stories0 Comments

What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (1/2)

What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (1/2)

In many countries of the world the government is the sole producer of all television broadcasting.

They decide what will be aired, what will be written, who will star in what and who will be shot for making the wrong joke.

What if they just went a step further and ran the governments just like they were game shows (aren’t they anyway?)
Maybe the results would be something like this: Continue Reading

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Do It Yourself Future News Headlines

Do It Yourself Future News Headlines

If you look at enough different newspapers enough different times you find things can be quite similar.

The rags always seem to be re-circulating the same type of newsworthy cadavers again and again.

The names and the places change, but the content is cloned.

It gets to the point where you can pretty much predict what the ‘new’ news will be about before it even becomes happens.

In fact, one might as well make up his own news- it won’t be that different from the real event! It never stopped our new Glorious Leader! Continue Reading

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How FAKE NEWS is made (plus who, why and how)

How FAKE NEWS is made (plus who, why and how)

In the 2016 election season, Fake News websites sprung up quickly and in shocking numbers. Many believed their lies and voted based on them, but what IS fake news and how does it work?

How propagan-do???

Making headlines is hard, but making fake news is as easy as ABC (but in Russian). Fake news comes from Macedonia, Russia, these United States, and really everywhere. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets Tubes, Video News0 Comments

Scientific Advertising

Scientific Advertising

Scientific Advertising is an incredible book. Why? Because it is the online marketing bible. Everyone in online marketing is talking about it. This in itself would be a pretty impressive feat for a book. But it gets even more incredible: it was written in 1923.

How is this possible? How does the entire global e-commerce industry run on a book written before computers even existed? Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno

Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno

C is for cat and E is for elephant.

Every young child in the English-speaking world knows these two basic facts, thanks to the rhymes and illustrations of children’s alphabet books.

However, it turns out, according to author Alfred Labette, that these books have not been entirely forthcoming with the younger generations since their inception.

Labette shared a little-known secret that nearly every alphabet book published since the height of the Roman Empire has skipped past the under-appreciated Elemeno.

“People assume X is the letter that gives us all the trouble,” Labette explains. “But it’s really the elusive Elemeno that makes things difficult. And no wonder it’s forgotten with how quickly we rush through that part of the song.” Alfred, or Alf to his friends, says he has approached the problem from multiple angles, including using animal names from other languages and even mythical creatures. “I’ve got some ideas brewing that are lightyears beyond any other of those sophomoric authors,” Labette declares with pride in his eyes.

A tortured soul to say the least, Labette wakes up every morning, stares at a blank piece of paper for three hours, and then pours through line after line of text on the Internet, looking for inspiration until the caffeine and vitamin B finally wear off. His deadline is fast approaching with just under three weeks to find the answer.

Still, Labette is confident he will have the first true alphabet animal book assembled and published, complete from aardvark to zorgon.

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Social Media Icons!

Social Media Icons!

I mentioned a while back that this was going to be a BIG YEAR.

Well, we now have an unbelievable panoply social media sharing icons at the bottom of every article!

Make sure you avail of them.

We’re always looking to make things bigger and better, here at Glossy News.

For any new pitches, submissions or feedback, please email Brian glossynews@gmail.com or Wallace wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets Tubes, Top Stories0 Comments

Real Fake News is Losing Credibility

Real Fake News is Losing Credibility

Real Fake News (RFN) is the only non-partisan news source left. And its integrity is under sustained attack by the peddlers of illegitimate fake news. It’s being stomped on by those charlatans who declare themselves honest, rational and accurate.

Abdul O’Shaunessy, one of the best known Real Fake News writers working today, emphasized this point by adding, “Those partisan pricks are taking over.”

Abdul is right. The purveyors of illegitimate fake news have cleanly divided into two partisan camps. And each of those camps declare themselves to be the paragon of honesty.

We writers of the RFN say right up front we’re gonna lie like hell and then present our lies honestly in a straightforward manner.

So, who are you going to trust? Those people who tell you what you are about to read is total bullshit or those who swear what they are telling you is the absolute truth?

It’s getting tougher and tougher to compete when we are all telling the same lies about the same people. Those partisan pricks are encroaching into our territory without shame and without mercy.

Let’s take a recent example of an incident that occurred during the presidential inauguration. Specifically, the moment when Mrs. Trump gave Mrs. Obama the traditional gift marking the transition of administrations.

Anti-Trumpers called Melania “A haughty Empress who considers the Obamas lowbrow and quite bourgeois. She showed her disdain by off-handedly tossing her box on the table and moving away from the rabble as fast as she could.”

The Pro-Trumpers referred to the event as “A gracious gesture on the part of Mrs. Trump to show her appreciation of how Mrs. Obama has conducted herself as the FLOTUS.” They called it “typical” when Mrs. Obama showed no appreciation whatsoever.

Mr. O’Shaunessy said the look on Michele’s face betrayed her aching desire to get her hands on Melania’s box. And ever since seeing Melania’s girl on girl spread in the fashion magazine article, she could think of little else.

Now all three are bullshit but the readers of the illegitimate fake news swallowed their preferred versions whole and are happy to repeat it to anyone who thinks just like they do.

But us RFN readers are much more sophisticated.

We understand how things really work.

We are perceptive, sharp and quite clever. We are truly the only intelligent consumers of information left.

Abdul O’Shaunessy had some chilling remarks about the future of Real Fake News.

“They’re filching our stuff. And some brilliant RFN writers, good friends of mine, have been coaxed over to their side. We are starting to lose our best and brightest.”

Please, don’t let our lies continue to lose their credibility.

Get up and call hooey on all of it.

Standup tall for sincere and heartfelt bullshit.

At this critical point, I can do little more than salute your dedication to honesty.

I’m sure Adbul will agree with me when I say that Real Fake News certainly attracts a better class of people.

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Television3 Comments

LAST DAY OF MY JANUARY BOOK SALE!

LAST DAY OF MY JANUARY BOOK SALE!

Today is your last chance to get the 1st eds of my CreateSpace print books, available both at the CreateSpace store and at all Amazon stores globally.

These 1st editions are being phased out after today; in favor of 2nd editions, which will be available in February. So, they are at the lowest price I was permitted to sell them at!

The CreateSpace store gives the best royalties; but Amazon more convenient for many buyers, who don’t have an Amazon account.

My two poetry volumes, Alpine Chanter I The Braying Angel)

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=the+braying+angel+createspace&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Athe+braying+angel+createspace

https://www.createspace.com/pub/simplesitesearch.search.do?sitesearch_query=the+braying+angel+wallace&sitesearch_type=STORE

& II (Foaming the Optics)

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=foaming+the+optics&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afoaming+the+optics

https://www.createspace.com/pub/simplesitesearch.search.do?sitesearch_query=foaming+the+optics&sitesearch_type=STORE

have regular print, large print, and giant print.

The other two books are regular print only: Graveyard of the Pieties & The Great Flâneur Narrative.

Happy reading! More news soon on the 2nd editions.

 

 

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Free Book Deal, 1 to 5 Feb! Anti UKIP Satire.

Free Book Deal, 1 to 5 Feb! Anti UKIP Satire.

My collection of satire stories on UKIP (some of them previously published on various online humor outlets, including Glossy News), is undergoing its periodic free book giveaway!

From 1 to 5 Feb 2017, you can catch up with Tarquin absolutely FREE…

With a zero-cost download from Amazon!

This short story collection brings together some heartwarming and disrespectfully pointed satire stories about Baron Tarquin Binnett De Albion, Esquire. Continue Reading

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Glossy News Accused of Balanced, Factually Accurate Reporting

Glossy News Accused of Balanced, Factually Accurate Reporting

The government and media have angrily accused Glossy News of publishing well researched, balanced and factually accurate articles.

‘This is a total disgrace,’ passionately screamed a representative of the National Union of Journalists. ‘Glossy News is respected for its spoof news stories. We expect fake news from its writers. Some of what it’s publishing now is, well, just plain wrong.’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Top Stories0 Comments

Glossy News Book Showcase 6: Tim Jones’s YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time

Glossy News Book Showcase 6: Tim Jones’s YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time

YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time is available for purchase as a paperback book or as an ebook at fine retailers everywhere, as well as a few shady outlets I would never set foot in. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest, Top Stories0 Comments

Glossy News Book Showcase 5: Benjamin Cain’s ‘God Decays’

Glossy News Book Showcase 5: Benjamin Cain’s ‘God Decays’

Howard Rhodes, an NSA cryptanalyst, engineered the zombie apocalypse. So said the President of the United States in his shocking final address to the nation, which served as the American epitaph.

Four years later, the old world is in ruins and is stalked by the living dead.

Many survivors keep journals to record their travails in the hope that their lives still matter. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

Glossy News Book Showcase 4: Laurie Calhoun’s We Kill Because We Can!

Glossy News Book Showcase 4: Laurie Calhoun’s We Kill Because We Can!

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

I am here reproducing some quotes relating to Laurie’s book. I have edited the following text from an existing promotional text.

What people are saying about We Kill Because We Can:

Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, War Zone0 Comments

Glossy News Book Showcase Returns Tomorrow!

Glossy News Book Showcase Returns Tomorrow!

Not long ago, we had our first Glossy News ebook showcase (although strictly speaking, printed books are OK too!)

Swan Morrison’s Judgment Day

Rfreed’s 9/12/01 (also serialized at Glossy News) Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment, Top Stories0 Comments

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