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Answer to Gun Control Problem; Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns

Answer to Gun Control Problem; Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns

Out of the most unseemly of circumstances a solution has come to solve the problems of American gun control, the overbearing political adventures of the NRA and the high cost of ammunition and firearms in America.

Red China has introduced a whole line of guns aimed (in the non-shooting sense of the word) at the American gun consumer. The arms available, all pretty much cheap copies of already existing models, range from Derringer replicates to the ever beloved assault rifles and machine guns.

They are, not surprisingly, very much cheaper than their original counterparts.

The gun manufacturers, quickly realizing the blow this would make to their profits when hunters, home defenders and mass murders started buying the oriental knock-offs (in both senses of the word), quickly got their lackey, the National Rifle Association, to try to pressure the US government to ban them.

Read the rest of our gun debate series here:
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Answer to Gun Control Problem; Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns
Raise Your Hands For Gun Control! Then..Drop Your Pants!
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The Proposed 2013 Great Gun Grab…Why Sen. Dianne Feinstein is Full of It
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The government, realizing how much they owed to the Chinese government and remembering the NRA President’s quote about them being “jack-booted government thugs”, refused to go with it.

The NRA, backed into a corner by this, quickly put together an ad assault stating how “true Patriots would only buy American guns” and displayed them on every television channel, high gloss magazine and every strategically placed bill board in the country. The majority of gun buying Americans showed their true patriotism by continuing to buy the Chinese makes.

Walmart, the supposedly most American of stores, promptly began stocking strictly Chinese makes of guns and had a record quarter year profit thereby (Walmart then declared they were still American patriots because making a profit is considered to be an All American virtue).

Unfortunately for the consumers, the guns were not exact copies of the originals in terms of their performance. Hunters had them backfire, knocking them backwards and scaring off every deer for five miles around. Snipers had them flare upon firing, blinding them and causing them have to seek another profession.

Miscalibrated barrels caused target shooters to hit the next guys target and sometimes the next guy himself. Mass murders had their gun explode, killing themselves thus short circuiting their plans to kill as many people as possible before offing themselves.

The NRA was forced to disband after the gun companies dropped them and funded a new group called Patriots For the Buying Of Only American Guns to better represent them. Many in the upper echelon in the NRA could not handle this and tried to take their own lives, but, some having also bought the cheap guns, killed those around themselves as well when the gun accidentally pumped out more than one bullet when the trigger was pulled. Others have had to take jobs at Walmart where they humiliatingly have to sell the very guns that put them out of a job.

Gun control advocates, seeing the mayhem that was ensuing, decided to keep quiet and let the drama unfurl of its own accord.

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In a side note:
Unbeknownst to the American gun buying public, the Chinese have outfitted all guns sold to America with a chip that will make the gun stop functioning on April 1st, 2015 at 1:36 AM. The Chinese invasion will begin at 6:47 AM. An April Fool indeed!

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- who has written 552 posts on GlossyNews.com.

I was born and I died.
Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles.

See more almost funny stuff at http://inyear252509.wordpress.com/


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2 Responses to “Answer to Gun Control Problem; Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns”

  1. Brian White says:

    Well China is taking over everything else, so why not?

  2. Good story Freed! But reality mirrors fiction sometimes.
    Back in the 80’s China was producing massive amounts of cheap ammo. It was good stuff and they exported tons of it to the US under the name of Norinco. It was made by China Armaments, which is part of the Chinese Army.
    China also produced well-made clones of many nation’s military weapons including the famous AK-47 and the Chinese version of the SKS which were imported here up until about 1989.
    Well, don’t know if it was a mistake, or intentional, but ICE got wind of an odd shipment heading via container ship to the US….They seized the ship and contents and found inside some containers thousands of fully-automatic machines guns with the Norinco stamp on the receiver.
    Today, China is forbidden to export any arms or ammunition to the US.

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