Categorized | Entertainment, Talky Pictures

Oscar Snubs Silents This Year

Oscar Snubs Silents This Year

Hollywood’s top silent film producers were shocked to learn that this year’s list of nominees for best picture Oscar included not a single silent picture.

“After last year’s win by The Artist,” said producer Milton Oak. “We figured that those of us making great silent films were once again back on top.”

However, it looks as if Mr. Oak’s hope was misplaced as each of the nine nominees for best picture this year is a “talkie.”

“Well, not every one of the nine is a talkie,” said Mr. Oak. “Since all the actors in Les Miserables do nothing but sing but there still isn’t a single silent picture on the entire list.”

The 2012 awards appeared to give a much-needed boost to the long-ailing silent film industry but it now looks as if last year’s Oscar sweep by The Artist was either a one-off or an elaborate practical joke.

“It’s hard to imagine that our colleagues in the talkie biz were just having some fun at our expense,” said Oak. “But it looks like we’ve been had.”

Given the unexpected turn of events, several silent movie lots have halted production in anticipation of less-than-boffo box office for their upcoming soundless features.

“I was hoping to score big with my silent remake of West Side Story,” said Oak. “But if it’s talkies Hollywood wants, then I guess it’s talkies Hollywood gets.”

Entertainment industry insiders also predict a less-than-successful year for black and white films, LP records and 8-track tapes.


This post was written by

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Dave Martin's humor and political satire have appeared in many major North American newspapers including The N. Y. Times, The Washington Post and The Chicago Tribune. His latest humor collection is entitled "Screams & Whispers" available on and he blogs at


5 Responses to “Oscar Snubs Silents This Year”

  1. Brian White says:

    I haven't seen a good silent film since that one Mel Brooks made. That was truly a thing of beauty.

  2. Melmac says:

    Mel Brooks silent film wasn’t exactly silent, was it?

  3. Dave Martin says:

    Actually, “Silent Movie” was a silent and also quite funny.

  4. Brian K. White says:

    Actually Dave, sorry, but it wasn’t a silent movie. Remember when they called Marcel Marceau and asked the silent film legend if he’d like to be in the film? He audibly said “non!” Sure, it’s the only line in the movie, but it kind of disqualifies it as a silent film. Kinda raucous, really.

  5. Dave Martin says:

    Yeah but the only word spoken was in French so it doesn’t really count, n’est-ce pas?


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