Categorized | War Zone, World News

China Becomes Puppet State of Malta

China Becomes Puppet State of Malta

News sources from the Far East are reporting that a successful coup has brought the People’s Republic of China under Maltese control as a puppet state.

Sleeper agents from the island nation are believed to have been activated last evening in Beijing and proceeded to capture major instruments of government, including the Communist Party Central Committee and Central Military Commission.

After it became obvious that the Maltese tide was insurmountable, Chinese officials surrendered control of the country’s government early Saturday, granting full military access and political authority to Valletta. General Secretary of the CCP Xi Jinping himself sent a personal letter of capitulation to President of Malta George Abela which was intercepted by the press. The text reads:

Dear Mr. President, you won and thus I hate you.

At a press conference outside Girgenti Palace, Prime Minister Lawrence Gonzi discussed a broad collection of aspects to China’s new role in the Maltese sphere of influence. The first of these is a different name to reflect the shift of political leanings. Under Gonzi’s plan, China will be known as the “Catholic Liberal Republic” and led in the interim by former Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania.

Details from a White House insider suggest President Obama has spent the last twenty-four hours dialing Abela incessantly to plead that he not call in all the U.S. debt presently held by China.

Malta’s boldness on the world stages comes on the heels of Luxembourg’s aggressive campaign to invade and annex Germany, which was completed last week with Maltese blessing.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 57 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Washington, D.C. native stuck in the Alps. I use a typewriter and then copy and paste to my computer screen..it doesn't work so well.

.

One Response to “China Becomes Puppet State of Malta”

  1. Brian White says:

    Don't underestimate Malta. You never know what they have up their (insert racist thing about Malta here) sleeves!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Check out our friends:
Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Glossy Exclusive Video: How Hot Dogs are REALLY Made
(Comment on this video here)
-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

12 posts
6 posts
4 posts
3 posts
2 posts
2 posts


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial