Popular Orca Handling Preacher Dies From Whale Bite
Cult orca handler and rider Pastor Jamie Coots died early Friday morning after being bitten in half by a killer whale during a non sanctioned religious service at Sea World. The ardent Pentecostal minister preached whales will not harm true believers…
Writer Fired for Printing Mangelina Jolie Hung by Brad Pitt’s Hair
Los Angeles, California – Former feature writer, Larry McSwag, of the newspaper known as the Los Mangeles Times was fired Monday for writing then printing an article that misspelled the name of celebrated actress, Angelina Jolie, referring to her as…
Slamming of ConDems ‘Highly Accurate’
Ministers last night applauded Britain’s leading Roman Catholic for being well-informed and on point. They praised Archbishop of Westminster Vincent Nichols after he denounced government poverty creation schemes. Downing Street said David Cameron believes there is a moral case only…
Whipping Set to Replace Screeching in Olympic Curling
Dateline: Lausanne, Switzerland—After an Olympic curler died of a heart attack from haranguing her teammates as they swept the ice, the International Olympic Committee has ruled that instead of yelling so much for no good reason, curlers in the next…
Strange Hieroglyphics Found on Russian Meteorite
Chelyabinsk, Russia – Scientists have located a large chunk of the Chelyabinsk meteorite that came crashing down in Siberia on February 15, causing injuries in this small village in the Ural region of Russia. The fragment was recovered from Lake…
Comatose Broncos Fan Awakens to Horrible Reality
A Denver Broncos fan who has been in a coma since 5 minutes into the Superbowl has finally awakened and close friends are unsure how to tell him what happened. According to witnesses, Tindell Higby III, a University of Colorado…
North/South Korea Talks Falter, Cancel Family Reunion
High level negotiations establishing a reunion for separated families in North and South Korea broke down Wednesday over a miscommunication on venue. After several weeks it was believed representatives had agreed to hold the event at Disney World this August…
Glossy News Authors: Are You Unable to Login?
I was emailed by three authors having trouble logging in due to our overly aggressive Spam filter. Are you able to login? Shoot me an email either way, if you have a minute. I’ve tweaked the settings to hopefully resolve…
North Korean Crimes Against Humanity Almost as Bad as US
The United Nations declared today that atrocities committed by North Korea Security chiefs and possibly even president Kim Jong-un are so horrendous they could be compared to how the US treats prisoners at Guantanamo, Abu Graib and other ‘secret’ prisons…
Used Car Dealer Scores 342% Below Scale [Video]
For the first time in history, a used car dealership has earned a score below zero on the Acham-Norbert Dealer Index, and they didn’t just make history, they set a bar too low to ever beat. Spyder and Rocky Krakauer’s…