Categorized | Biz News, Video News

Used Car Dealer Scores 342% Below Scale [VIDEO]

Used Car Dealer Scores 342% Below Scale [VIDEO]

For the first time in history, a used car dealership has earned a score below zero on the Acham-Norbert Dealer Index, and they didn’t just make history, they set a bar too low to ever beat.

Spyder and Rocky Krakauer’s dealership is unique in that they don’t want to tell you, or better yet, don’t want you to know their physical address.

They’re also unique in that they don’t sell cars for cash, but trade them for illicit drugs.

Spyder is seen in the commercial offering used cars for as low as a single crack rock, and his brother Rocky is offering them as well for prices that range up to a mere 10 crack rocks, or a street value of about $50.

Purchasing a car for $5 to $50 when crushing weight alone says they’re worth $300 is suspicious enough, but the brothers are clearly in various states of being high and/or in withdrawal throughout the commercial.

Even the fine print has a disclaimer from the producer of the video admitting that he was paid in illegal drugs.

While Glossy News will never endorse business practices such as these, we can say that we got a 2004 Mercedes E320 for $96 and a 2009 cement mixer for $14.

Watch the commercial here:

And then go ‘behind the scenes’ here, with this unique look at the inner workings of criminal masterbates such as these.

But we should warn you, these behind the scenes clips may very well make your blood boil with rage and commit to never buying a new or used car ever again.

Or not, kind of your call.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Despite being less than half the length of previous videos, this one still took well over 30 hours to make. There were tons of graphics to make and put in place, plus the live filming aspect (which was delayed due to snow.)

This is my first time using my own sound system. Andy does a great job at MapleShade Studios, but what I really need is unlimited access to go back and make revisions, so I’ve reluctantly set up my own little studio of sorts. It’s tiny and anemic, but it works for voice over stuff.

Co-star Jason V. Jones is an ally in video from 1993 when he and I created “King Me”, a 13 episode public access TV show. That’s back when editing was a chore rather than a treat. It was begrudgingly shot by J-Dawg Scruples, another partner in crime from those days, but he did more in terms of writing and acting than editing and producing.

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This post was written by

- who has written 389 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.

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7 Responses to “Used Car Dealer Scores 342% Below Scale [VIDEO]”

  1. Reidicule says:

    This is awesome! I especially liked the list of features. Good work.

  2. Rusty Shackleford says:

    Well done!

  3. kilroy says:

    That actually made me laugh out loud.
    I hate laughing out loud so stop it.

  4. Mad Max says:

    “Volume volume volume!” Never look at used car ads the same.

  5. P. Beckert says:

    Can haz more pleeze? Best yet, and as usual, the outtakes, especially the “knock knock” joke ‘cracked’ me up. Keep up the good work.

  6. deeptrout says:

    Hilarious!

  7. rfreed says:

    Hilarious! (Redundant, I know….)

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