Tea Party Calls for Deportation Of Illegal South African Minors
In a rare show of solidarity, three major Tea Party groups have come together and issued a joint statement calling for the arrest and deportation of illegal minors in South Africa. “Illegals are law breaking free loaders who steal jobs…
Mysterious Oracle Appears in Sedona; Predicts Ugly Future for Wealthiest
Now may not be the best time to win the Mega Lottery or come into an inheritance from your wealthy relatives, according to a new young Oracle who has mysteriously appeared in Sedona, Arizona, and has begun predicting the future….
Billionaire Tom Perkins says “Poor Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Vote”
In a stunning turnaround, billionaire and silicon valley legend Tom Perkins who earlier this month compared the plight of the rich to nazi holocaust victims, stated that the poor should not be allowed to vote at all. “They’re dirty, they’re…
Syrian Chemical Weapons Problem Solved Using Assad’s Own Methods
A vast problem has developed with the disposal of the chemical weapons possessed by Bashir Assad’s military in Syria. Used to cripple and decimate his own people, Assad escaped a bombing by U.S. Forces in retaliation by promising to turn…
Kardashians Slam Kendall Jenner’s “Boob Walk”
The Internet is all a twitter over Kendall Jenner’s romp down the catwalk at Thurdays New York Fashion Week dressed in a shear, boob flaunting Marc Jacobs original. It didn’t take long for the fur to fly. In a tweet…
To Avoid Drought Disaster, California Governor Asks Residents to Pee Outside
In a desperate attempt to avoid a statewide water shortage, California governor Jerry Brown has requested that all men and women in the state pee outside in the woods, on the lawn or in a garden area. “These are desperate…
Duck Dynasty’s Uncle Si Fires Assistant Over Clean Tea Cup
Anyone who watches the A & E reality hit show Duck Dynasty, is familiar with not only Uncle Si, but his perpetual sidekick, a vintage Tupperware tumbler he carries everywhere he goes. Si is never without a container of sweet…
“The Night They Raided Minskys” Reviewed by a Guy Who Even Saw the Flick
Released in 1968 this flick could have been made today as a relevant retrospective to burlesque. The naughty nature of burlesque versus the rude routines that pass as suggestive stage entertainment today are in stark contrast when you compare today’s…
China Lays Blame for Lunar Disaster On Female Driver
At a press conference Saturday China announced its lunar mission was in danger and appeared to lay blame on it’s female rover. The rover, named Yutu and translated as “Rickshaw Woman”, got off to a rocky start when it overshot…
Bieber Fans Rejoice After Pizza Grease Reveals Deceased Singer’s Image
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Justin Bieber fans everywhere celebrated the passing of arguably the greatest performer in American history this weekend when pizza grease on a napkin at BoBo’s Pizza Kitchen in South Philadelphia revealed a clear image of the late…