Archive | Religionism

Governor Haley Proposes Replacing Confederate Flag with Dukes of Hazzard Flag

Governor Haley Proposes Replacing Confederate Flag with Dukes of Hazzard Flag

Republican Governor Nikki Haley called for the removal of the Confederate flag in the capital of South Carolina Monday, after pressure from many who called the flag racist and divisive.

The pressure was mounting, after a white supremacist opened fire on an historic church in Charleston, killing nine black people.

Governor Haley earlier had defended the flag as a symbol of Southern pride and history, but as a compromise to remove it, she has proposed replacing it with another symbol of Southern pride, the flag from the 1970’s-80’s show, The Dukes of Hazzard. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy!!! (3/3)

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy!!! (3/3)

Phew! I’m worn out.

Or maybe just in a vaguely soporific state.

It was all fun and amusing to start with, but I think the novelty’s worn off.

Gets a bit samey after a while.

Still, I always like to honor my purely fleeting, voluntary and radically contingent contractual commitments to the international-satire-misreading-and-red-herring-web-comment-community. Continue Reading

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Posted in Making Headlines, Religionism0 Comments

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy!!! (2/3)

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy!!! (2/3)

OK, the sky hasn’t fallen in….

Yet.

Just gotta keep going, I suppose.

Cosmic E-Cheek Ass Slicer

OK, this one is a little bit nastier, if also somewhat more fun…

And it’s only for the more experienced, intrepidly kinky fetish types. Continue Reading

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Posted in Making Headlines, Religionism0 Comments

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy!!! (1/3)

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy!!! (1/3)

Oof! Sorry for the mildly sensationalist headline. I never quite got over not getting to be a top reporter for the Galactical Enquirer.

Still, somewhat more crucially, I must inform you of the existential spiritual peril facing you and your family. Continue Reading

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Posted in Making Headlines, Religionism0 Comments

Sam Harris Drives Dinosaurs out of the Schools

Sam Harris Drives Dinosaurs out of the Schools

Prominent atheist and achingly non-woolly intellectual figure Sam Harris has persuaded some Democratic Senators to try to stop The Flintstones from being shown in science classes.

Not only that. Teachers used to allocate some general class time just before vacation to watch such cartoons, to help the kids wind down. But they can’t even do that now. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Science0 Comments

Bill Maher Banned (Again)… But Why?

Bill Maher Banned (Again)… But Why?

Notable public figure Bill Maher has been banned from several notable clothes retail chains in the entire slick, coastal, metro part of the USA…

For making some provocative and inflammatory comments about a moderate political Islamist™ in Pakistan who says women resemble sacks of flour.

Yup! His Most Exalted Even-More-Moderate-Than-Moderate-Taliban-ness says that every one of the integral synthetic components of the female community should be treated in keeping with the most noble and exalted station he himself envisages for them…

When he is high on crystal meth funded from the proceeds of his illegal kindergarten-bombing Ponzi scheme. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Television0 Comments

Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down

Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down

Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the Internet giant Google has officially made itself the greatest source of knowledge in the entire universe, surpassing even that of Douglas Adam’s giant planet computer in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

In a surprising move as a result of this development, God has stepped down as the Supreme Force of the Universe. Asked to make a public statement about this unexpected change, God refused at first to answer reporters’ questions. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Religionism7 Comments

Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (2/2) (NSFW)

Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (2/2) (NSFW)

Unlike Khomeini-ite Fiqh, TULIP-flavor Calvinism, and other scientific and empirically rigorous political discourses, “nice guy” and “friendzoning” are ideological aberrations that are completely detached from reality.

Still, that didn’t stop Khameini giving it to us one last time:

I mean, there are so many jumpy, rowdy, jerk-off pricks who treat other guys really, really, REALLY badly! And Putin doesn’t mind THEM!

Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (1/2) (NSFW)

Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (1/2) (NSFW)

Some would say that The Enemies Of Our Glorious Nation™ are quarrelsome folk.

(Or if not “enemies of America,” at least the enemies of the non-satire news media and of The International Beltway Community).

Still, there is such a thing as honor among thieves; or if not honor among thieves, at least honor among “Recalcitrationists Of The Universal Interest.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

What Would Allah Do?

What Would Allah Do?

If the Shi’ites were fighting the Sunni’s what would Allah want?

He say for them to lay down their arms and realize that they are brothers of the same faith.

If a Moslem country’s leaders were demonizing other countries to make them look bad, what would Allah do?

He would say ”My children, look to your own lives and the ways to improve it. Do not cast your sight abroad to look for the sins your own soul reflects.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Homo Sapien Pictographs Prove Homosexuality Is Natural

Homo Sapien Pictographs Prove Homosexuality Is Natural

Paleontologists working in Southern France have discovered pictographs they estimate were placed around 10,000 B.C. The primitive drawings depict what appears to be two Neanderthal males copulating.

Lead scientist Dr. Lance Hollingsworth said, “I usually don’t get involved in politics, but clearly these cave drawing prove that homosexual relationships predate the ten commandments.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, World News0 Comments

Repentant Paisley’s Heterophobic Hate Campaign

Repentant Paisley’s Heterophobic Hate Campaign

Disclaimer: Earlier version published on TheSpoof.com. I’ve now come round to a more enlightened view of the sensitive matters in question ;)

Given the passing some months ago of Lord Bannside, it’s only fair that I inform you about one of the last interviews conducted with him…

In order to straighten me out set the record straight. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Khomeinisexuality: Meet Iran’s Radical Love-Cleric (Part 2/69: Jizz be Upon Me)

Khomeinisexuality: Meet Iran’s Radical Love-Cleric (Part 2/69: Jizz be Upon Me)

Tribute

Encore une fois: this one’s for Charlie Hebdo. Nous sommes tous Charlie.

Ok, you’ve heard from the people men of wisdom; to wit, the only people who really understand enlightened fucking erudite fiqh rulings from the inside (pretty damn deep inside… and not just fiqh rulings!).

Yes: clearly, Ayatollah Khomeini either is more sexually enlightened than his depraved and despicable hell-bound haters previously thought… Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Khomeinisexuality: Meet Iran’s Radical Love-Cleric (Part 1/69: Jizz Be Upon Him)

Khomeinisexuality: Meet Iran’s Radical Love-Cleric (Part 1/69: Jizz Be Upon Him)

Tribute

This one’s for Charlie Hebdo. Nous sommes tous Charlie.

OK, we all know about the obviously malicious and unproven allegations of gratuitously gratifyingly enlightened fatwas on “I’m-a-sexin’ that damn fine chicken” that have been directed at Imam Love Doctor Friday Night Wonder AYATOLLAH Khomeini. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building

Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building

A Montana neo-Nazi extremist organization, The Color White, Inc., claimed responsibility earlier today for the recent bombing of a building in Colorado Springs, owned by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

The building, including the part rented to the popular barbershop Mr. G’s Hair Design Studios, suffered minor damage when a grenade detonated next to a portable kerosene tank, which did not explode during the attack. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Religionism1 Comment

Je Suis Charlie – Where Murder And Humor Have Met

Je Suis Charlie – Where Murder And Humor Have Met

As you know, yesterday three gunmen entered the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French satirical magazine, and killed twelve people.

The magazine was known for its biting satire and has several times depicted Mohamed in a mocking fashion. It is considered a damnable sin in Islam to make any sort of picture of their Prophet.

The office of Charlie had been firebombed in 2011. The editor and staff had been often been sent death threats. On January 7th those threats were made real. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Religionism2 Comments

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