Northern Bible II: The Wackiest Ancient Israel Headlines from the Pre-Zionist Media!


Judas Finally Sells out to Rupert Murdoch, Becomes Useful Idiot

Josiah Mulls Including Torah Trigger Warnings for Gory Content: Court Conservatives Plot to Overthrow Radical ‘Snowflake Princelings’

King Solomon Regresses to Radical Pomo Nihilism: Theological Diversity is Our Greatest Strength!

OMG! Irresponsible Jerusalem King/Twitter Troll has Trigger Finger on Middle East’s Largest Arrow Silo Read more Northern Bible II: The Wackiest Ancient Israel Headlines from the Pre-Zionist Media!

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Another Confidential Leak from the CIA Hymnbook (X): “And Can it Be?”

The renowned hymn writer Charles Wesley was the brother of the famous evangelist John Wesley. However, the mighty values and spirit that drove these men is not to be found among today’s establishment. Here is another confidential leak from the Satanic Hymnbook of the CIA.
(Psst… Nothing to do with Wikileaks!) Read more Another Confidential Leak from the CIA Hymnbook (X): “And Can it Be?”

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1st Amendment Dead? Sam Harris Arrested in California for Blasphemous Hate Speech Fuelled Tirade

Renowned neuroscientist and well-meaning internet celebrity Sam Harris has been arrested for a mildly intemperate hate rant at the University of California, Berkeley.

Belligerently roaring over a mob of blue-haired bulimic pride intersexuals, iron-clad antifa anarcho-anal retentivists and jihadi jew-baiters, Harris shrieked: Read more 1st Amendment Dead? Sam Harris Arrested in California for Blasphemous Hate Speech Fuelled Tirade

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Jesus Condemns Republicans For Not Messing the World up Enough (YET!), Swears off on ‘Third Coming.’

Jesus always said he was coming back one day.

And he promised that this time around, there would be no more Mr Nice Guy!

Hence Apocalypse, or Apocalypse of St John, or Revelation, or Book of Revelation, or even the Artist Formerly known as…

Well, anyhoo! Read more Jesus Condemns Republicans For Not Messing the World up Enough (YET!), Swears off on ‘Third Coming.’

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CIA Hymnbook: Agnus Dei/Lamb of God.


So far, the CIA Hymnbook has covered many famous hymns; including Sanctus and Bendictus. And speaking of well-beloved Latin hymns, we now have the ‘Agnus Dei’ or ‘Lamb of God.’

If you’ve recently been reading The Satanic Bible or Necronomicon, this is just the Black Mass the darker side of you has been craving… Read more CIA Hymnbook: Agnus Dei/Lamb of God.

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Trump Announces New “Drain the Swamp Strategy,” Swears to Cram Administration with Fundies

Trump’s ‘Drain the Swamp’ strategy recently sounds more like a ‘Fill the Swamp’ strategy.

Mildly perturbed (as always!) by lingering accusations of bad faith, dishonesty and cynicism, Trump is now shaking up his cabinet, in order to get rid of all the corrupt moneygrubbers, as well as any remaining Beltway establishment career politicos. Read more Trump Announces New “Drain the Swamp Strategy,” Swears to Cram Administration with Fundies

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Donald Trump, the Antichrist, is “Close Enough to Christ,” said Evangelical Leader

Dateline: LICKSKILLET, KY—Evangelical Christians are supporting President Donald Trump, because “he’s probably the Antichrist and that’s close enough,” according to evangelical leader Leon Birdbrain. Read more Donald Trump, the Antichrist, is “Close Enough to Christ,” said Evangelical Leader

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Smug Corbyn Interview: Liberal Lesbian Muslim Arrested for ‘Islamophobic’ Facebook Post

A lesbian Muslim from Bradford has just been arrested by the Hate Police for not being a “real Muslim.”

Champagne socialists all over the country threw up their hands in horror to see the following hideous rant: Read more Smug Corbyn Interview: Liberal Lesbian Muslim Arrested for ‘Islamophobic’ Facebook Post

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Southern Poverty Law Center Say the Catholic Church is a ‘Hate Group’

The Southern Poverty Law Center has been at the forefront of many important agendas of American civic life, for quite some time. The poor, the Southern and most of all, the legalistic, have all sought shelter under the wings of the holy dove of mercy. Read more Southern Poverty Law Center Say the Catholic Church is a ‘Hate Group’

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Pretentious Scientists Deny Existence of Tangle Fairy: Roadies Outraged, Archbishop Conciliatory

Distraught and tear-stricken roadies have never doubted the existence of the wicked imp that tangles perfectly-laid guitar and sound cables when rock bands are touring. It’s always a disappointment to find your immaculately-placed equipment all messed-up and untidy. Read more Pretentious Scientists Deny Existence of Tangle Fairy: Roadies Outraged, Archbishop Conciliatory

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