Posted in Kidz Zone Science Science & Technologizzy Technology Top Stories

Philae Lander Voted “Bouncy House Of The Year”

Physics Today, the flagship journal of the American Institute of Physics, has announced the ESA Philae lander is the first winner in a new category in their annual awards for breakthroughs in physics, “Bouncy House Of The Year”. “This year…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Philae Lander Voted “Bouncy House Of The Year”
Posted in Sports Sports Scandals

CNN’s Anderson Cooper Interviews Donald Sterling

In his first public statements and media interview, Anderson Cooper sits down with LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling. Cooper – So Mr. Sterling, what do you think happened to Flight 370? Sterling – When I listen to that tape, I…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CNN’s Anderson Cooper Interviews Donald Sterling
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Top Stories

Lorde Accuses Papparazzo Of Taking Pictures Of Her In Public

Age ambiguous, teen pop music sensation Lorde, took to twitter this weekend to accuse a paparazzi photographer of maliciously taking photographs of her in public. “This man has been stalking me, photographing me in public and refusing me my God…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Lorde Accuses Papparazzo Of Taking Pictures Of Her In Public
Posted in Entertainment Talky Pictures Top Stories

Japanese Accused of “Fat-Shaming” Godzilla, Warner Brothers of “Cultural Appropriation”

As the film Godzilla approaches it’s US May 16th debut, the grievance industry got started early when the internetz and blogosphere exploded late Friday after a new trailer of the movie was released by Warner Brothers. Japanese fan groups accused…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Japanese Accused of “Fat-Shaming” Godzilla, Warner Brothers of “Cultural Appropriation”
Posted in Sports Sports Scandals Top Stories

Clippers Owner Donald Sterling To Sell Team

At a press conference in Los Angeles this morning, Donald Sterling’s wife Roachelle claimed the NBA team would be sold in a matter of days. Sterling, 67, who changed his name from Tokowitz so his unique brand of bigotry and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Clippers Owner Donald Sterling To Sell Team
Posted in Society Top Stories Travel

Privileged Teenager Survives Harrowing Plane Trip in Coach

A 16-year-old trust fund brat survived a frightening journey halfway across the Pacific Ocean on Sunday after climbing into the coach section of a Hawaiian Airlines jet flying from San Jose to Maui. The boy emerged unharmed despite uncomfortable temperatures,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Privileged Teenager Survives Harrowing Plane Trip in Coach
Posted in Entertainment Music Top Stories

Aretha Franklin Chills Satireverse

Damn. Those are some big mammies. We’re talking motor yacht and a snorkel. [SOURCE 1] and [SOURCE 2]. Some people just can’t take a joke… I don’t get this one. If anyone should feel slighted it’s LaBelle, who the article…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Aretha Franklin Chills Satireverse
Posted in Sports Sportsfolk

Tiger Woods Unable To Play In Masters After Successful Penisectomy

Tiger Woods announced Tuesday that he has undergone a successful penisectomy for a vestigial weiner that has been haunting him for several years. The surgery was performed Monday in Park City, Utah, by neurosurgeon Dr. Charles Ima Richer. The procedure…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tiger Woods Unable To Play In Masters After Successful Penisectomy
Posted in World News

International MH370 Search Efforts To Be Unified Under “Operation Wild Goose”

Responding to criticism that search efforts for the ill fated Flight 370 have been unfocused, haphazard and confusing, United Nations Secretary-General Ban-ki-moon announced today that all future efforts will be directed by one authority under the title “Operation Wild Goose”.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! International MH370 Search Efforts To Be Unified Under “Operation Wild Goose”
Posted in Top Stories World News

US To Send Bullshit Detector To Malaysia

In the latest effort to uncover the fate of MH370, the United States has announced it will send a state of the art Bullshit Detector to Malaysia. “The BSD will be located adjacent to the Perdana Putra building, which houses…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! US To Send Bullshit Detector To Malaysia
Posted in World News

Danish Zoo Defends Killing Of Employees

A Danish zoo on Wednesday defended its decision to kill four employees citing age factors, the risk of inbreeding and the arrival of a new, younger male hire. This week’s executions have put the Copenhagen Zoo on the defensive again,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Danish Zoo Defends Killing Of Employees
Posted in Crime Travel

Carnival Corporation Posts Onboard Cruise Crime Data

In a voluntary effort to be more accountable to the public, Carnival Cruise Lines has released data about 576,727 alleged crimes reported on board their ships during the previous year. Included in the release were 18967 incidents of public drunkenness,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Carnival Corporation Posts Onboard Cruise Crime Data
Posted in Travel World News

France Finds Missing Flight 370

After waiting more than ten days to jump into the search for Flight 370, France declared it has found the ill fated airliner off the coast of Italy. “We were delayed due to union repairs on our sole high imaging…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! France Finds Missing Flight 370
Posted in Biz News Sports

Redskins Owner Dan Snyder To Open Chain of Reservation Liquor Stores

Responding to claims of racial insensitivity over the team name, NFL Redskins owner Dan Snyder embarked on a month long voyage of discovery to dozens of Native American Reservations. In a widely distributed press release issued on Monday, Snyder said…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Redskins Owner Dan Snyder To Open Chain of Reservation Liquor Stores
Posted in Entertainment Music

Lady Gaga Responds To Criticism Over Head Defecation Stunt

The Internet exploded with criticism Friday after a performance by Lady Gaga at the NSFW Music Festival in Winslow, Arizona, in which a homeless man wet defecated on her head. Gaga was premiering the title track to her new album…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Lady Gaga Responds To Criticism Over Head Defecation Stunt
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Internets Tubes

Satirists To Decide Comedic Value of Breadsticks

WILLOW GROVE, PENN. Satirists are gathering at a conference titled “This Article Is An Inside Joke” in Willow Grove this weekend to decide if breadsticks are inherently funny or only so when mentioned in the same sentence as “Olive Garden”….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Satirists To Decide Comedic Value of Breadsticks
Posted in World News

Flight 370 – Submitted, For Your Approval

You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Flight 370 – Submitted, For Your Approval
Posted in World News

US Defense Department Claims MH370 Attacked By Cylons

In a strange press release distributed by the US Department of Defense on Wednesday, US Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel says Malaysia Flight 370 was attacked by time traveling Cylons and was forced to jump to hyperspace. “The Boeing 777 has…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! US Defense Department Claims MH370 Attacked By Cylons
Posted in War Zone World News

Obama Announces Sanctions on Lyudmila Putin

During a White House Rose Garden press conference Thursday, President Barack Obama, in an effort to drive Russian forces from the Crimean Peninsula, announced far reaching sanctions against Vladimar Putin’s wife, Lyudmila. “We have frozen funds in her Citicorp and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Announces Sanctions on Lyudmila Putin
Posted in World News

FBI Fringe Division MH370 Test Successful, Parallel Universe Travel Safe

At a press conference Tuesday held at FBI Headquarters in Quantico, Virginia, lead blonde FBI investigator Agent Olivia Dunham, flanked by Mad Scientist Walternate Bishop and his intelligent and attractive yet curiously unaccomplished son Peter, revealed Malaysia Flight 370 was…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! FBI Fringe Division MH370 Test Successful, Parallel Universe Travel Safe
Posted in Top Stories World News

Malaysia Flight 370 At Hogwarts

In a Tweet sent early Monday morning to the 740 million followers of @harrypotter, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of the private prep school Hogwarts, assured relatives of passengers and flight crew of Malaysia Flight 370 they were safely housed at his…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Malaysia Flight 370 At Hogwarts
Posted in World News

CEO Ben Linus Says Malaysia Flight 370 Swallowed Up By Smoke Monster

On Monday in Tunis, Tunisia, Ben Linus, CEO of The Dharma Initiative International, issued the following press release claiming the ill fated flight was accidentally swallowed up by an intergalactic black hole. “Fifty thousand years ago a consortium of advanced…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CEO Ben Linus Says Malaysia Flight 370 Swallowed Up By Smoke Monster
Posted in World News

Doctor Who Claims Responsibility For Malaysia Flight 370

At a press conference Sunday at BBC headquarters in London,  Gallifreyan Time Lord Doctor Who claimed missing Malaysia Flight 370 is with him. “I landed the TARDIS in flight and asked the passengers and flight crew if they would like to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Doctor Who Claims Responsibility For Malaysia Flight 370
Posted in War Zone World News

White House Claims WMDs Found In Crimea

In a stunning announcement at Wednesday mornings press briefing, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced WMDs have been discovered in the Crimean peninsula. “The CIA has determined and it has been confirmed through British Intelligence that convoys of Russian…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! White House Claims WMDs Found In Crimea
Posted in Health Internets Tubes

CNN Caught Scanning Glossynews.com For Story Ideas

Once again, the mainstream media has swooped in to steal our precious exclusive. We reported it first, but CNN & reality had a different idea when they took the story from the realm of satire into public consciousness. These stories…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CNN Caught Scanning Glossynews.com For Story Ideas
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

2014 “Oscar Oscars” Awarded to Oscar Oscars

The Academy of Motion Picture Tarts and Minuses has announced it’s post Oscar Oscars for 2014. And the Oscar Oscars go to… Best Female Performance In A Reprise Role – Jennifer Lawrence for strategically tripping in front of hundreds of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! 2014 “Oscar Oscars” Awarded to Oscar Oscars
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Politics

Seth Rogan Testifies Before Congress About Seth Rogan

In a six minute address before a Senate Hearing on Alzheimer’s research funding that has gone viral on the Internet, comedian and actor Seth Rogan was successful at focusing discussion on the lack of knowledge and attention paid to Seth…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Seth Rogan Testifies Before Congress About Seth Rogan
Posted in Sports Events Sports Scandals

Danica Patrick Accuses NASCAR Drivers of Misogyny

NASCAR driver Danica Patrick charged other drivers with sexism and misogyny after being bumped in Sundays Daytona 500 causing her to crash into the outer wall and ending her race. “There’s only one woman at Daytona today and who gets…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Danica Patrick Accuses NASCAR Drivers of Misogyny
Posted in Politics Religionism

Arizona State Legisislature Votes To Change State Motto, Slogan

Giddy with the joy of Christ at successfully legalizing state sponsored endorsement of dark age phobias and insanities the Arizona State Legislature voted to to change the State slogan and motto along with other state designations and affiliations.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Arizona State Legisislature Votes To Change State Motto, Slogan
Posted in Crime Talky Pictures

Pirates Found With Dead Navy Seals on Maersk Alabama

Seychelles police have confirmed three deceased Ethiopian pirates were found along with two retired Navy Seal security personnel discovered dead on the Maersk Alabama this last weekend. The three pirates carried Ethiopian passports and appeared to be dressed as Captian…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pirates Found With Dead Navy Seals on Maersk Alabama