Today, surprising information came to light which reveals that Taylor Swift was recently treated for gonorrhea and chlamydia of her genitalia and throat.

Further details show that the chart-topping songstress has also received treatment for herpes, syphilis, human papilloma virus (HPV), trichomoniasis, scabies, and pubic lice (crabs). Continue reading

When the Australian High Court forced tobacco manufacturers to sell cigarettes in packaging without their distinctive colours and logos from December last year, the World Health Organisation (WHO) applauded this decision, saying that it was the right thing to do to protect the health of Australia’s youth. Continue reading

In an announcement which may not come as a shock to readers from the United States, Barack Obama has declared that there will be no such year as 2013, which will now instead be referred to as 2014a.

“The issue at hand is our national triskaidekaphobia,” the President explained at an earlier press conference. “Many of our citizens are so scared of the number thirteen that there is no Room Thirteen in the majority of hotels, and buildings of sufficient height very often skip straight from the twelfth floor to the fourteenth. Continue Reading

In a surprise verdict in Stoughton District Court yesterday, Alessa Maslansky, 47, of Canton, Massachusetts, was found not guilty of charges relating to fitting her neighbour’s dog with a shock collar in an effort to prevent what she called ‘its incessant barking’. Continue reading

In a twist that will come as a shock to everyday users of the Internet, the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) could permanently close down the websites of newspapers across the World Wide Web.

“The problem is the very broad language of the intellectual property chapter,” explained Senator Ron Wyden, who finally received a transcript of each round of negotiations thus far last week. “It doesn’t talk about ‘copyright infringement’, but instead speaks of ‘copyright theft’. Continue Reading

Last month, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) and the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), collectively known as the Music And Film Industry Association of America (MAFIAA), filed suit against Stephen Krueger, 22 years old, for wilful infringement of over fifty titles, yet were resoundingly defeated in a unanimous decision yesterday. Continue Reading

After learning just a day ago about a lawsuit filed against Justin Bieber by Moshe Benabou, a former bodyguard of the teen singer, this reporter felt there had to be more to the story than met the eye, and boy, was I right!

After doing some judicious investigating, I discovered that some time last October, Jeremy Bieber, who does not live with his son or the boy’s mother, had gone to the teen sensation’s dressing room in order to congratulate him after yet another successful concert, but after opening the door, found him ‘relaxing’ with the aforementioned Benabou. Continue Reading

Many may not realize this fact, but because Frank Churchill died in 1942, the music of ‘Never Smile at a Crocodile’ from the feature length animated version of ‘Peter Pan’ is set to enter the Public Domain across the EEA on 01/01/2013.

As such, I fully expect the Walt Disney Company to start bribing lobbying the European Parliament as hard as it can to create an EU version of the MMPA Sonny Bono CTEA. Continue Reading

A few days ago, for some reason, I was thinking on how to get my revenge on an Autism researcher who knows nothing about his subject and completely eclipses a woman who does, when a really wicked thought came to me. Email!

Now, unless someone is a confirmed Luddite like Richard O’Brien, for example, the likelihood is that they will have an email address, and this becomes a cerainty if they work at a university as my target does. Continue Reading

Two days ago, local celebrities of Rockville, Maryland, Vicky and Lisa Hancock, both fourteen years old, were taken into police custody on charges of statutory rape and incest.

The girls, whose conjoining makes them look like one person with two heads, said that they were not ashamed of what they had done and would happily do it again when I had the opportunity of interviewing them. Continue Reading

In an official statement released only to the Daily Mail and the Daily Express, the Coalition government, made up of the Conservative and the Liberal Democrat parties, announced that they would be using the Work Capability Assessment (WCA) on another group that they believe are idle.

“We know these people are fully capable of paid, tax-generating work as they already do unpaid work,” Iain Duncan Smith, the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions said. Continue Reading

In a shocking lapse of judgement last week, an assessor from ATOS Origin placed James Wright, 62, in the ‘fit for work’ group mere moments after he had suffered a fatal stroke.

“It was a nightmare,” Rosemary, Mr. Wright’s widow, stated. “The doctor assessing James asked him to stand up, so he did before slumping into a squatting position. The doctor took one look at him and said, ‘I’m placing you in the Work Program.’ Continue Reading

In its latest controversial move, the Walt Disney Company has recently acquired wordmarks on the names of several fairytale characters for literary and text based works, in addition to its wordmarks on the same names for all other purposes.

A spokesperson from Disney explained, “We felt it necessary to obtain these trademarks because while we thought the others would be sufficient to protect our characters from abuse, it turns out that people have been abusing them nonetheless. Continue Reading

From today, nobody will ever again suffer from the annoying and temporary condition known as the hiccups, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO).

That is because they have suddenly decided to name them after their cause rather than the symptom, in line with current medical naming conventions.

“Our lead researchers all agree that it makes more sense to call this condition Temporary Spastic Diaphragm, or TSD for short,” a WHO spokesperson explained. “After all, we don’t call measles ‘red, spotty rash,’ and we don’t call dyslexia ‘letter confusion’ either.” Continue Reading

Twitter, the site where people chat to each other in 140 characters or less, and which encourages following, has posted a guide on the correct usage of its trademarks.

The issue? Most of us can wipe our behinds with it if we want to waste the paper and ink to print it out first.

This is because, according to the trademarks laws of the U.S. and Europe, the only way you can be found guilty of trademark infringement is while you are using it in the course of trade. Continue Reading

In a shock announcement yesterday, Autism Speaks, based in Long Island, New York, stated that after years of struggle, they had finally discovered a way to cure a condition that has baffled parents and scientists alike since it was first named in the 1940s by Leo Kanner (pronounced “Conner”).

“We had been struggling with the problem of childhood autism for decades,” Dr. Walter Ransome, Autism Speaks’ chief scientist said. Continue Reading