Category: The Rest
Washington Redskins to be Renamed Rainbow-Farting-Unicorns
In a controversial move deisgned to appease the nation’s vegan transgender vaping atheists and left-handed male feminist pastafarian apache helicopters, the Washington Redskins have agreed to rename their team to the more politically correct Fedex-Farting-Unicorns. Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins,…
Barr’s Secret Police Identified as Unemployed Walmart Security Guards
Washington DC (WAPO) Dismayed by the May jobs report and the unabated protests outside the White House, Administration Spokesperson, Kay (I need to get…) leighed MagaNinny announced yesterday that Attorney Generalissimo William Barf, Economic Guru Supremo Kevin Hassbeen and Walmart…
Nation of Self-Obsessed Attention Hogs Whine About Sea Levels Rising Due to Climate Change
FUNAFUTI, TUVALU– After years of whining and moaning about possible ecological devastation and flooding which would render their entire country uninhabitable, little Tuvalu finally got its moment in the sun when the international press threw the petulant brats a handful…
New York Hospital to Begin Clinical Trial for ‘Impossible Whopper’ Prescriptions to Combat COVID-19
NEW YORK, NY – Scientists and medical professionals have found something very interesting in the rates of survivability between men and women in regard to the COVID-19 pandemic. On average, more women are recovering from the virus than men. Scientists…
Trump Claims NYT Op-Eds Unfair
Washington, DC (NYT) A frustrated President Trump apparently unloaded on his advisors that the “Failing” New York Times recent publication of quite erudite Op-Eds by Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders is not fair. He was heard to lament, “my speciality…
Stalker turns a woman’s hair into a diamond engagement ring
A woman meets her stalker face to face for the first time and he proposes with a diamond made from her hair. Shockingly, she said “Yes!” Two years later, they are still together with a baby on the way. Melvin…
Trump Names Jared and Ivanka Ventilator Co-Czars
Washington, DC (AP) At yesterday’s White House press briefing President Trump made the stunning announcement that his daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner, by Executive Order # 1001, will assume the newly created positions of Ventilator co-Czars. The action…
Social Distancing? Hey, No Problem For We Misanthropes!
Stay six feet away? I do that anyway! Stay home and don’t have guests? Ditto! Don’t touch anyone? Bingo! Avoid people? You got it! I got this whole quarantine thing down and I don’t even have to change any of…
The Time Hollywood Was AFRAID of Black People!
Believe it or not, there was a time in Hollywood comedies where the greatest fear of white people was to run into a group of black people. Because in Hollywood’s eyes, the only thing a group of black people hanging…
The Mad Mad Monkey Men Challenge: How Many Can You Comment on in a Day?!
NOTE FROM WALLACE: Brian’s kids are doing really well with these videos! And there are going to be a few more video articles over time; you can encourage them by commenting and sharing, both on Glossy News and in particular,…