Why Do People Keep Breaking the Internet, and How Can We Get Them to Stop?


You would think that something could be broken only so many times, but apparently when it comes to the Internet, the laws of (meta)physics make an exception. Every few days. Read more Why Do People Keep Breaking the Internet, and How Can We Get Them to Stop?

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Young Walmart Folk Discouraged About Making Ends-Meat (!), Learn New Recipe


Having worked at a dime over minimum wage, Maria Jones appreciates the part-time wages from Walmart. She’s struggled, but a new, FREE recipe handed down from the notoriously progressive management has solved almost all her problems. Read more Young Walmart Folk Discouraged About Making Ends-Meat (!), Learn New Recipe

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Militant Gamers Denounce X-Box Censors as ‘Sad, Pathetic Losers with a Lot of Time on Their Hands’


The recent decision to remove X Box users for cursing while Microsoft merrily trawl their data has resulted in a serious backlash. X-Box gamers are now accusing Micosoft of being idle, unfocused losers who have nothing better to do than mess around on hi-tech gadgets and piss their life away.  Read more Militant Gamers Denounce X-Box Censors as ‘Sad, Pathetic Losers with a Lot of Time on Their Hands’

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Mark Zuckerberg Removed from World’s Richest Humans List on a Technicality


Cunning Valley resident and sneaky human analog Mark Zuckerberg has been removed from the Forbes Richest list on the technicality that he has failed to provide proof of his humanity. Read more Mark Zuckerberg Removed from World’s Richest Humans List on a Technicality

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Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm Agent Materializes Enroute to Mars

State Farm is an American Insurance company which prides themselves on terrible ads, as well as impossibly lofty promises; so it’s no wonder Elon Musk chose them to insure his Midnight Red Tesla Roadster. But when he called in his loss, his agent got a bit of a surprise. Read more Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm Agent Materializes Enroute to Mars

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Dear Adobe: Paying Customers Shouldn’t be 2nd Class to Pirates… Sort it Out

As a paying customer, there’s a certain level of quality, service, and support I expect when using your products. If I’m paying hundreds of dollars a year, I shouldn’t get a worse experience than pirates enjoy… I mean, why wouldn’t I just pirate? Read more Dear Adobe: Paying Customers Shouldn’t be 2nd Class to Pirates… Sort it Out

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Max Polyakov’s Association Noosphere to Suspend Vernadsky Challenge 2018

Michael Ryabokon, one of the co-founders of Association Noosphere, has recently written in his blog that the Vernadsky Challenge contest will not be held in the following year. The same announcement was also made on his Facebook page. Earlier, Max Polyakov’s Noosphere organized the event on an annual basis. Read more Max Polyakov’s Association Noosphere to Suspend Vernadsky Challenge 2018

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How Did I Get our Facebook Page to Take Off? Advice for Bloggers…

It’s very important for satire sites to get a page on Facebook.

So it’s not surprising that Glossy News has our own Facebook page. (Don’t forget to like it, after you’ve shared this article!)

But for quite a while, our stats were poor. Read more How Did I Get our Facebook Page to Take Off? Advice for Bloggers…

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Deaf Inventor of Leaf Blower Unveils new Noisy Devices

Dateline: PITTSBURGH—Manny Hornblower, the deaf inventor of the leaf blower, has unveiled a series of new inventions, including the gas-powered page-turner, the motorized tea bag dipper, and the jet-fuelled food-chewing aid.

The gas-powered leaf blower is popular with landscaping companies and when in operation can be heard miles away even when indoors.
Read more Deaf Inventor of Leaf Blower Unveils new Noisy Devices

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