Posted in Science & Technologizzy Technology

Ford Unveils Tesla Killer: Better by Every (Meaningless) Metric

Tesla likes to call themselves the leader in Electric Cars just because they have sold more than any other brand by unit as well as total sales dollars. Well Ford just made things interesting with their latest Tesla-Killer, and it…

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Posted in Technology

Trying to Go Offline

Life is short – especially for my wife, who’s barely five feet tall. The years race by, we waste time, and before you know it, we discover we’ve missed out on what’s important in life: pizza. Add to this reality…

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Posted in Science Technology

Elitist Aliens? UFO Abductors Finally Turn Their Backs on Rural Working Class!

Moreauville, LA-  “I was heading up State Route 1 from Baton Rouge, after visiting my sister and her kids. It was getting pretty late, and I’d had a couple of brews before I’d left, so when I seen the bright…

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Posted in Politics Technology

Republicans Outperform in Midterms, Russian Hackers Escape Blame

Kiev, Ukraine – Comparing the results to what pollsters had predicted in the lead up to Election Day, politicans and journalists have generally concluded that, with few exceptions, Republicans outperformed expectations by several percentage points.

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Posted in Biz News Technology

Ten Thousand Emails In – I Think GDPR Might Be Important

If you’re anything like me, then you tend to stay the course for the sake of simplicity above all else. If you’re anything like me, you also have a couple of different websites set up as a side project for…

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Posted in Biz News Technology

Top 3 Essential Steps for Outstanding Sanding (From James Draper!)

Sanding is hard. That’s the general reaction people give me whenever I talk to them about it. Sanding has really gotten an infamous reputation over the years due to inexperienced people diving into a complex piece (like an intricately detailed…

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Posted in Biz News Technology

Compulsory Super-Fast Broadband is set to Make New Builds Even More Desirable

Government officials have released a new national strategy for telecoms, putting forward the proposal to ensure it is compulsory for all new builds to be fitted with superfast broadband connections throughout the UK. A complete overhaul from the current copper-based…

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Posted in Biz News Technology

How to Record Better Quality Gameplay Videos

Are you struggling with the quality of the gameplay videoss that you record, and find that most of them leave a lot to be desired? Without experience it can be difficult to record better quality gameplay videos, mostly because you…

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Posted in Biz News Internets Tubes Technology

Why Do People Keep Breaking the Internet, and How Can We Get Them to Stop?

You would think that something could be broken only so many times, but apparently when it comes to the Internet, the laws of (meta)physics make an exception. Every few days.

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Posted in Biz News Health Technology

Young Walmart Folk Discouraged About Making Ends-Meat (!), Learn New Recipe

Having worked at a dime over minimum wage, Maria Jones appreciates the part-time wages from Walmart. She’s struggled, but a new, FREE recipe handed down from the notoriously progressive management has solved almost all her problems.

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Posted in Human Interest Technology

Last Remaining Author Paid by Parakeet

Dateline: Cubicle District 64, Year 2028—Mystifying tens of millions of authors, Horatio Masterson is the only remaining writer who is still somehow being paid for his work, and in this exclusive report, we reveal the secret of his success.

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Technology

Militant Gamers Denounce X-Box Censors as ‘Sad, Pathetic Losers with a Lot of Time on Their Hands’

The recent decision to remove X Box users for cursing while Microsoft merrily trawl their data has resulted in a serious backlash. X-Box gamers are now accusing Micosoft of being idle, unfocused losers who have nothing better to do than…

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Posted in Biz News Internets Tubes Technology

Mark Zuckerberg Removed from World’s Richest Humans List on a Technicality

Cunning Valley resident and sneaky human analog Mark Zuckerberg has been removed from the Forbes Richest list on the technicality that he has failed to provide proof of his humanity.

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Posted in Biz News Internets Tubes Technology

What Steps To Follow To Open Torrent Files

Torrent files are often used to gain access to multiple internet resources. These are file types that do not look like any other kind of file. They do not bear content. On the contrary, they contain information about the titles…

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Posted in Biz News Society Technology

Dating on Chat Roulette: For Happy & Optimistic People!

Meeting the right person to marry and to create a family with is a big challenge, which will determine the rest of your life and your level of overall happiness. But where to find the one who is your absolute…

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Posted in Biz News Entertainment Gadgets & Gizmos Technology

Favourite NES Games on Your Modern Device

Playing all those old Nintendo games we know and love is now possible without buying outdated consoles.

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Posted in Biz News Science & Technologizzy Technology

Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm Agent Materializes Enroute to Mars

State Farm is an American Insurance company which prides themselves on terrible ads, as well as impossibly lofty promises; so it’s no wonder Elon Musk chose them to insure his Midnight Red Tesla Roadster. But when he called in his…

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Posted in Biz News Internets Tubes Technology

Dear Adobe: Paying Customers Shouldn’t be 2nd Class to Pirates… Sort it Out

As a paying customer, there’s a certain level of quality, service, and support I expect when using your products. If I’m paying hundreds of dollars a year, I shouldn’t get a worse experience than pirates enjoy… I mean, why wouldn’t…

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Posted in Biz News Technology

News from the Future: Strangely Realistic News Headlines of 2018

In the last couple of years, the world has become a place stranger than anyone would’ve expected.

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Posted in Biz News Science & Technologizzy Technology

Max Polyakov’s Association Noosphere to Suspend Vernadsky Challenge 2018

Michael Ryabokon, one of the co-founders of Association Noosphere, has recently written in his blog that the Vernadsky Challenge contest will not be held in the following year. The same announcement was also made on his Facebook page. Earlier, Max…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Technology

How Did I Get our Facebook Page to Take Off? Advice for Bloggers…

It’s very important for satire sites to get a page on Facebook. So it’s not surprising that Glossy News has our own Facebook page. (Don’t forget to like it, after you’ve shared this article!) But for quite a while, our…

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Posted in Technology

Deaf Inventor of Leaf Blower Unveils new Noisy Devices

Dateline: PITTSBURGH—Manny Hornblower, the deaf inventor of the leaf blower, has unveiled a series of new inventions, including the gas-powered page-turner, the motorized tea bag dipper, and the jet-fuelled food-chewing aid. The gas-powered leaf blower is popular with landscaping companies…

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Posted in Technology

A Quick Guide to the Gmail Security Check-Up

If you’ve just updated your recovery details, e.g. phone number or alternative email address, you will see the Security Check-Up window.

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Posted in Biz News Gadgets & Gizmos Technology

Why Should You Consider SMS as a Good Marketing Tool

API is a programming code that is used by some developers to communicate with a particular application. All applications have a unique API code. Now, you might be wondering what API has to do with sms marketing.

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Posted in Biz News Technology

How to Optimize Video Formats for Social Media

Almost every popular social media platform nowadays is dominated by videos, and it has quickly overtaken other forms of content due to how engaging and effective it is.

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