New York Hospital to Begin Clinical Trial for ‘Impossible Whopper’ Prescriptions to Combat COVID-19

NEW YORK, NY – Scientists and medical professionals have found something very interesting in the rates of survivability between men and women in regard to the COVID-19 pandemic. On average, more women are recovering from the virus than men. Scientists haven’t yet figured out why that is, but this new coronavirus is challenging everything we thought about viruses and illnesses.

Yesterday, the World Health Organization announced that they’ve found no evidence that recovery from COVID-19 provides an immunity from getting it again, even in the short-term period. People are mysteriously testing positive for it again, weeks after what they thought was their recovery and some are even getting sick again.

Desperate for anything that could possibly help people get better, they’re looking at the recovery statistics. Why are women recovering more quickly and more reliably than men, and how can we improve those odds for men?

The female sex hormone, estrogen, is now being looked at as a possible clue or answer to that question. I reached out to Dr. Nigel C. Mentys, a leading doctor in the city of New York for over 25 years for his thoughts on the pandemic and this seemingly crazy new idea.

“Honestly, it’s crazy. I genuinely don’t know how to explain it, but this virus and reality itself is really starting to challenge what we understood and believed to be possible.”

He continued, “But I had this idea. Last year, it was revealed that Burger King’s Impossible Whopper had phytoestrogen in its chemical make-up. For all intents and purposes, that’s basically estrogen. Now men are extremely mentally and emotionally fragile. I can’t just sell them an estrogen patch that they wear on their arm like they’re recovering tobacco addicts. So I thought, what if I prescribed them burgers? It’s vegan, but you can barely tell the difference. It’s such a stupid and crazy idea, I think it could genuinely work. I’ve already reached out to the board here and the FDA, and they’re completely on board”.

Author: Benjamin Brown

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