Washington Redskins to be Renamed Rainbow-Farting-Unicorns

In a controversial move deisgned to appease the nation’s vegan transgender vaping atheists and left-handed male feminist pastafarian apache helicopters, the Washington Redskins have agreed to rename their team to the more politically correct Fedex-Farting-Unicorns. 
Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, said: “This process allows the team to take into account the proud tradition and history of the franchise and fit in with the fact that the National Football League (NFL) and our sponsors are wetting their politically correct beds right about now. Quite frankly, in these difficult times, we don’t want our office burned down.”

The new logo (pictured) has been designed approved and the change is effective immediately. There are also rumors that the NFL will issue commentators and journalists with a directive to refer to Offensive teams as “passive aggressives” in time for the upcoming season.
More to follow.

Author: S.G. McCormick

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