Author: A.M. Reyes
A Majority of Americans Would Rather Repeatedly Shove Flaming Chopsticks in Their Ears than Hear the Words “President Howie”
HAMDEN, CT— Quinnipiac University released a poll early this morning showing that over 80% of Americans wouldn’t be comfortable with a President named Howie. The study, conducted in the wake of Howie Hawkins’ nomination as the Green Party’s candidate for…
Heartwarming: Devoted Amazon Customer Starts GoFundMe to Raise Money for Billionaire Adulterer After Market Crash
SEATTLE, WA— With tears welling up in his eyes, Seattle good Samaritan Jay Thompson poured out his heart, detailing his desire to help assist the world’s richest man after he lost a fraction of his immense wealth during the 2020…
Nation of Self-Obsessed Attention Hogs Whine About Sea Levels Rising Due to Climate Change
FUNAFUTI, TUVALU– After years of whining and moaning about possible ecological devastation and flooding which would render their entire country uninhabitable, little Tuvalu finally got its moment in the sun when the international press threw the petulant brats a handful…