Posted in Top Stories

Saudi Woman Causes Nation’s First Ever Pile-Up

A Saudi Arabian woman has created history in Riyadh today by causing her kingdom’s first ever peak-hour multi-vehicle accident. Mother of 3 Hamida Ghabbour blamed the accident on 1400 years without practice, and said she can’t wait until alcohol restrictions…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Saudi Woman Causes Nation’s First Ever Pile-Up
Posted in Health Science

FDA Adds “Homicidal Rampage” Warning to Otherwise Perfectly Safe Drug

Washington DC: The Food and Drug Administration has announced an immediate black box warning will be placed on it’s controversial anti-malarial drug, Lariam, also known as Mefloquine, due to its tendency to make patients attempt murder, suicide, genocide and partake…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! FDA Adds “Homicidal Rampage” Warning to Otherwise Perfectly Safe Drug
Posted in Sports Events Sports Scandals

IOC Announces Compulsory Drug Use for London Olympics

After decades of what could only be described as a tail-chasing nightmare of anabolic proportions, International Olympic Committee president Jaques Rogge has announced that this years London Olympics will involve compulsory performance enhancing drug use for all competitors.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! IOC Announces Compulsory Drug Use for London Olympics
Posted in News In Your Briefs

Bernanke Claims Quantity Not Quality Goal of New Stimulus Plan

In a shocking move this morning, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke announced yet another new plan to stimulate the US economy with what has been labelled ‘Quantative Easing Number Six Thousand Eight Hundred and Forty Seven.’ “Clearly the other six…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bernanke Claims Quantity Not Quality Goal of New Stimulus Plan
Posted in World News

Osama Bin Laden Slips In Shower, Dies

Islamabad, I think it was last week – GlossyNews.com – After two decades of military operations spanning four continents, at a cost billions of dollars and thousands of U.S. and coalition lives, Al Qaeda mastermind Osama Bin Laden died suddenly…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Osama Bin Laden Slips In Shower, Dies
Posted in War Zone World News

Gaddafi Ceasefire Gesture: “My Guerillas Have Put Down Their Arms”

Tripoli Zoo, Tuesday: In a secret satellite conference last Tuesday, Libyan dictator Muhammar Gaddafi reportedly told NATO he had disarmed all of his Guerrillas and he “no longer wanted bloodlessness.” “No word of a lie. What I say is true….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gaddafi Ceasefire Gesture: “My Guerillas Have Put Down Their Arms”
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Strange People

Mayans, Nostradamus Agree on Donald Trump Armageddon Scenario

Machu Picchu, dusk – GlossyNews.com: After ten seconds of reciprocal nodding over candlelight, Nostradamus and Mayan elders have announced they are in complete agreement with their Donald Trump apocalyptic destruction prophecies. “I clearly mentioned that guy in the 3rd verse…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mayans, Nostradamus Agree on Donald Trump Armageddon Scenario
Posted in World News

Bono and Geldof ask Africa to save Ireland

Soweto: Irish pop stars Bob Geldof and U2’s Bono have announced their latest African tour for October of this year. The tour, aptly named “DebtAid” is set to raise funds and prevent famine in the recession-stricken Irish Republic. “This time we’ve…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bono and Geldof ask Africa to save Ireland
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Elizabeth Taylor: “Heaven Too Awkward”, After Running Into 5 Ex-Husbands

Modern day journalistic prophets have announced Elizabeth Taylor was in heaven for no more than five minutes before the first complaints rolled in this morning. Taylor, famous for her feisty temper, charitable nature and a career spanning five decades with…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Elizabeth Taylor: “Heaven Too Awkward”, After Running Into 5 Ex-Husbands
Posted in Crime Internets Tubes

Wikileaks Founder Charged w/ Molesting Dozens of Political Careers

Washington 0500hrs: Creepy-looking founder of Wikileaks and alleged evil genius, Julian Assange, has officially been charged by prosecutors in Florida with molesting at least 26 political careers over the course of a single week last year. The controversial figurehead and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Wikileaks Founder Charged w/ Molesting Dozens of Political Careers
Posted in Environment World News

BP Offers Disaster Response Expertise to Failing Nuke Reactor

Media release: Monaco, 0800hrs, Energy giant BP, (formerly British Petroleum) has announced an offer of support to the Japanese government overnight, pledging to fully rebuild the nation’s damaged nuclear reactors on undisclosed but “very favorable” terms.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! BP Offers Disaster Response Expertise to Failing Nuke Reactor
Posted in World News

“Unstoppable-Radioactive-Tsunami-Earthquake” Reports Initially Dismissed as Bizarre Charlie Sheen Quote

“A Bank of Tokyo official was upbeat, suggesting insurance losses to the disaster would be offset by a reduced amount of traffic accidents in subsequent years”

WTF?! Click now to find out more! “Unstoppable-Radioactive-Tsunami-Earthquake” Reports Initially Dismissed as Bizarre Charlie Sheen Quote