Posted in Making Headlines Politics Top Stories World News

We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News

Wolf Blitzer: This is Wolf Blitzer. Welcome to The Situation Room. We have important breaking news. The Wall Street Journal reports that Democrats in Congress are pushing back against President Trump’s plans to go to war with Iran. They are…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines

Thousands of Middle Class Americans Storm Mexican Border Seeking Better Life.

A major melee occurred today on the American/Mexican border as thousands of middle class Americans stormed the fences and barricades separating them from Central American soil. Overwhelmed and surprised Mexican border guards at first tried to halt the massive human…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines

Just In Time For Halloween! – A Tour Of The Saudi Consulate In Istanbul (aka ‘Middle-Eastern Torture Chamber’)

Here we go boys and girls! A fun and horror filled tour awaits at the notorious Saudi Arabian Consulate in Istanbul, now infamous for the mysterious disappearance of Saudi dissident journalist Jamal Khashoggi last week. Mr. Khashoggi entered there to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Television

God Condemns Conservative Bullies for Opining on Comedy

Dateline: D.C.—Conservatives condemned Michelle Wolf’s comedic speech at the 2018 White House Press correspondents’ dinner, until God reminded them they have no sense of humour because they’re bullies.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Politics

The Drone Report – We Listen In On The NRA Making Their Most Recent Battle Plans.

Prelude- Freed Industrial, a sub-section of the vast Rfreed communications network, has just developed a special ‘spy drone’ capable of infiltrating anywhere and everywhere and recording visual and audio data for our columns.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Top Stories

Offering “Thoughts And Prayers” To Shooting Victims Just Don’t Fly No More. Here’s Why-

The long overused but handy expression used by countless soulless politicians and supposed sympathizers, when trying to gloss over a tragedy so that they could get back to their money making and power grabbing duties, has finally run its course.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Society

Woman sues Women Studies Feminists for preventing her from Sleeping her way to the Top

Dateline: NY CITY—Miss Marylou Ditsy is suing Women Studies departments in colleges across the United States, for creating an atmosphere of political correctness that she alleges has prevented her from sleeping her way to the top.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest Making Headlines Top Stories

United Airlines Brings Back Its Friendly Skies

Lately, United Airlines’ longstanding motto, Fly the Friendly Skies, has taken a serious tumble. On a recent flight four passengers were told they had to disembark to make room for airline personnel.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Politics

Russian Intelligence Operative Reveals why Putin Helped Elect Donald Trump

Dateline: MOSCOW—Russian intelligence operative admits to meeting with Donald Trump and with members of his inner circle during the 2016 presidential campaign, to explain to the Americans that Putin wanted Trump to beat Hillary Clinton because Trump is a colossal…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Politics

Handicapping the Frontrunners for 2020

In the off chance you’ve been in a coma the past few weeks, I have some unsettling news. You might want to sit down. Donald Trump is our new President-Elect. Please, put down that sharp object. As denial about this…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest Making Headlines Top Stories

History – As Told by Forgotten Newspaper Headlines

The recent presidential election has resulted in some pretty shocking newspaper headlines – like when Scotland’s The Daily Record ran a cover story showing a photo of Donald Trump at his swank new Scottish golf course on a windy day,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Politics Top Stories

Breaking News: USA Votes to Leave North America

(Washington, D.C.) In the wake of Great Britain’s recent populist-led decision to leave the European Union, momentum gathered quickly for the United States to follow suit. In a flurry of referendum-lobbying activity, spurred on primarily by Donald Trump and his…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines The Rest

Coca-Cola Resurrects 1889 Advertising Campaign by Adding Coke

ATLANTA, GA – Every fan of Coca-Cola was jumping with joy on Friday morning as the beverage behemoth’s first round of new TV ads hit the airwaves featuring a new message intended to boost sales of its beverages, which have…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest Making Headlines Politics Religionism Society Top Stories

Same Sex Jail Romance Leads to Kentucky Clerk’s Change of Heart

Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis, who refused to issue gay marriage licenses and was taken into federal custody for contempt of court, has posted bond and been released after having a change of heart in jail. After experiencing what she called…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines War Zone

U.S. Steps Up Iraq’s Military Training by Attaching American Heads to Iraqi Bodies

Dateline: ARLINGTON COUNTY—American military officials order surgical attachment of American soldiers’ heads to the bodies of Iraqi soldiers to improve Iraq’s military training. Prior efforts to train democratic Iraq’s military have been stymied. Instead of fighting Islamic State insurgents, Iraq’s…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Religionism

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy

Phew! I’m worn out. Or maybe just in a vaguely soporific state. It was all fun and amusing to start with, but I think the novelty’s worn off. Gets a bit samey after a while. Still, I always like to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Religionism

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy

OK, the sky hasn’t fallen in…. Yet. Just gotta keep going, I suppose. Cosmic E-Cheek Ass Slicer OK, this one is a little bit nastier, if also somewhat more fun… And it’s only for the more experienced, intrepidly kinky fetish…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Religionism

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy (1/3)

Oof! Sorry for the mildly sensationalist headline. I never quite got over not getting to be a top reporter for the Galactical Enquirer. Still, somewhat more crucially, I must inform you of the existential spiritual peril facing you and your…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines Top Stories

GlossyNews Publishes Hilarious Caricature of Muhammad

Uh….nevermind!! But stay tuned for more Kim Jong-Un parodies! You can contribute to our North Korea video satire series here or learn more about it here.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines

Obama Claims Racial Progress Made After Finishing Boehner’s Shoes

WTF?! Click now to find out more!