Beck claims he just uses it as reference to use against the Obama administration and not for purposes of learning how to indoctrinate his listeners.

“Oy vey, what a schmuck,” said one man as Israelites far and wide kvetshed about this latest development.

Who else can totally get away with referring to Republicans as the ‘White Wing?’

with Mother of the Year award.

“I just realized that I am never going to win a major election, so instead, I want to go to Haiti and help the poor folks who so desperately need it.”

Most Americans for Prosperity (AFP) members’ hearts are in the wrong place, but admit that surgery can’t correct the problem.

Half of Congress already reported to have applied for licenses.

The famously chaste and modest “non-retard” Bristol Palin has chosen to take a large six-figure sum to appear on a reality show to prove that she’s just a regular girl from a regular family, just like the rest of middle America who get to appear on national television and then ink a massive reality tv show deal.