Posted in Making Headlines Politics Top Stories World News

We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News

Wolf Blitzer: This is Wolf Blitzer. Welcome to The Situation Room. We have important breaking news. The Wall Street Journal reports that Democrats in Congress are pushing back against President Trump’s plans to go to war with Iran. They are…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News
Posted in Making Headlines

Thousands of Middle Class Americans Storm Mexican Border Seeking Better Life.

A major melee occurred today on the American/Mexican border as thousands of middle class Americans stormed the fences and barricades separating them from Central American soil. Overwhelmed and surprised Mexican border guards at first tried to halt the massive human…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Thousands of Middle Class Americans Storm Mexican Border Seeking Better Life.
Posted in Making Headlines

Just In Time For Halloween! – A Tour Of The Saudi Consulate In Istanbul (aka ‘Middle-Eastern Torture Chamber’)

Here we go boys and girls! A fun and horror filled tour awaits at the notorious Saudi Arabian Consulate in Istanbul, now infamous for the mysterious disappearance of Saudi dissident journalist Jamal Khashoggi last week. Mr. Khashoggi entered there to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Just In Time For Halloween! – A Tour Of The Saudi Consulate In Istanbul (aka ‘Middle-Eastern Torture Chamber’)
Posted in Making Headlines Television

God Condemns Conservative Bullies for Opining on Comedy

Dateline: D.C.—Conservatives condemned Michelle Wolf’s comedic speech at the 2018 White House Press correspondents’ dinner, until God reminded them they have no sense of humour because they’re bullies. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! The Christmas Gift…

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Posted in Making Headlines Politics

The Drone Report – We Listen In On The NRA Making Their Most Recent Battle Plans.

Prelude- Freed Industrial, a sub-section of the vast Rfreed communications network, has just developed a special ‘spy drone’ capable of infiltrating anywhere and everywhere and recording visual and audio data for our columns. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Drone Report – We Listen In On The NRA Making Their Most Recent Battle Plans.
Posted in Making Headlines Top Stories

Offering “Thoughts And Prayers” To Shooting Victims Just Don’t Fly No More. Here’s Why-

The long overused but handy expression used by countless soulless politicians and supposed sympathizers, when trying to gloss over a tragedy so that they could get back to their money making and power grabbing duties, has finally run its course….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Offering “Thoughts And Prayers” To Shooting Victims Just Don’t Fly No More. Here’s Why-
Posted in Making Headlines Society

Woman sues Women Studies Feminists for preventing her from Sleeping her way to the Top

Dateline: NY CITY—Miss Marylou Ditsy is suing Women Studies departments in colleges across the United States, for creating an atmosphere of political correctness that she alleges has prevented her from sleeping her way to the top. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS!…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Woman sues Women Studies Feminists for preventing her from Sleeping her way to the Top
Posted in Human Interest Making Headlines Top Stories

United Airlines Brings Back Its Friendly Skies

Lately, United Airlines’ longstanding motto, Fly the Friendly Skies, has taken a serious tumble. On a recent flight four passengers were told they had to disembark to make room for airline personnel. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! United Airlines Brings Back Its Friendly Skies
Posted in Making Headlines Politics

Russian Intelligence Operative Reveals why Putin Helped Elect Donald Trump

Dateline: MOSCOW—Russian intelligence operative admits to meeting with Donald Trump and with members of his inner circle during the 2016 presidential campaign, to explain to the Americans that Putin wanted Trump to beat Hillary Clinton because Trump is a colossal…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Russian Intelligence Operative Reveals why Putin Helped Elect Donald Trump
Posted in Making Headlines Politics

Handicapping the Frontrunners for 2020

In the off chance you’ve been in a coma the past few weeks, I have some unsettling news. You might want to sit down. Donald Trump is our new President-Elect. Please, put down that sharp object. As denial about this…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Handicapping the Frontrunners for 2020
Posted in Human Interest Making Headlines Top Stories

History – As Told by Forgotten Newspaper Headlines

The recent presidential election has resulted in some pretty shocking newspaper headlines – like when Scotland’s The Daily Record ran a cover story showing a photo of Donald Trump at his swank new Scottish golf course on a windy day,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! History – As Told by Forgotten Newspaper Headlines
Posted in Making Headlines Politics Top Stories

Breaking News: USA Votes to Leave North America

(Washington, D.C.) In the wake of Great Britain’s recent populist-led decision to leave the European Union, momentum gathered quickly for the United States to follow suit. In a flurry of referendum-lobbying activity, spurred on primarily by Donald Trump and his…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Breaking News: USA Votes to Leave North America
Posted in Making Headlines The Rest

Coca-Cola Resurrects 1889 Advertising Campaign by Adding Coke

ATLANTA, GA – Every fan of Coca-Cola was jumping with joy on Friday morning as the beverage behemoth’s first round of new TV ads hit the airwaves featuring a new message intended to boost sales of its beverages, which have…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Coca-Cola Resurrects 1889 Advertising Campaign by Adding Coke
Posted in Human Interest Making Headlines Politics Religionism Society Top Stories

Same Sex Jail Romance Leads to Kentucky Clerk’s Change of Heart

Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis, who refused to issue gay marriage licenses and was taken into federal custody for contempt of court, has posted bond and been released after having a change of heart in jail. After experiencing what she called…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Same Sex Jail Romance Leads to Kentucky Clerk’s Change of Heart
Posted in Making Headlines War Zone

U.S. Steps Up Iraq’s Military Training by Attaching American Heads to Iraqi Bodies

Dateline: ARLINGTON COUNTY—American military officials order surgical attachment of American soldiers’ heads to the bodies of Iraqi soldiers to improve Iraq’s military training. Prior efforts to train democratic Iraq’s military have been stymied. Instead of fighting Islamic State insurgents, Iraq’s…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! U.S. Steps Up Iraq’s Military Training by Attaching American Heads to Iraqi Bodies
Posted in Making Headlines Religionism

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy

Phew! I’m worn out. Or maybe just in a vaguely soporific state. It was all fun and amusing to start with, but I think the novelty’s worn off. Gets a bit samey after a while. Still, I always like to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy
Posted in Making Headlines Religionism

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy

OK, the sky hasn’t fallen in…. Yet. Just gotta keep going, I suppose. Cosmic E-Cheek Ass Slicer OK, this one is a little bit nastier, if also somewhat more fun… And it’s only for the more experienced, intrepidly kinky fetish…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy
Posted in Making Headlines Religionism

Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy (1/3)

Oof! Sorry for the mildly sensationalist headline. I never quite got over not getting to be a top reporter for the Galactical Enquirer. Still, somewhat more crucially, I must inform you of the existential spiritual peril facing you and your…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy (1/3)
Posted in Making Headlines Top Stories

GlossyNews Publishes Hilarious Caricature of Muhammad

Uh….nevermind!! But stay tuned for more Kim Jong-Un parodies! You can contribute to our North Korea video satire series here or learn more about it here. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! A Prophet Versus Islamists? What…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! GlossyNews Publishes Hilarious Caricature of Muhammad
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Obama Claims Racial Progress Made After Finishing Boehner’s Shoes

FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Boehner and Bobdole Reveal 13-year Marriage President Obama Stars In ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ Obama WILL Win Today, and Here’s Why John Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Claims Racial Progress Made After Finishing Boehner’s Shoes
Posted in Making Headlines

Sharknado Jumps the Shark

Spawns new hackneyed headline. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Sharknado: The Second One Bites Communities on High Alert in Wake of Killer Guinea… 2014 – The Year in Review: Part I (January – June) Women, Help…

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Posted in Making Headlines Television

Millionaire Tricks CNN into Stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane

Dateline: ATLANTA—Elderly oddball millionaire, Huey Longbottom, shuns the internet and receives all of his news from CNN, but taking no interest in the missing Malaysian plane, which CNN has covered exhaustively for several weeks, Longbottom orchestrated several bizarre spectacles to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Millionaire Tricks CNN into Stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane
Posted in Making Headlines

Guilt-Stricken Woman Slips Husband Antidote

FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Collector David Koch Invites Reporters to View His… Ashley Madison Not One of Tiger Woods’ Mistresses The Superpower that Disempowers: Is it Time for a… A Devoted Christian on Marriage, Family,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Guilt-Stricken Woman Slips Husband Antidote
Posted in Making Headlines

Plastic Fork Makes Valiant Effort

FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a… Chapter 4: China Soars, While Freedom Roars (Honest… Tea Party Slams “Elitist” D.C. Table Manners “Yucky World” w/Dick and Janey: Presidential…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Plastic Fork Makes Valiant Effort
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Crippling Self-Doubt Prevents Man From Failing at Lifelong Dream

FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Like Martin Luther King, I have a dream Chapter 1: What Dreams May Come (Honest Adolph Novel… Local Man Masters Art of Making Peanut Butter and… Conservative Eroticism versus Liberal Eroticism

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Crippling Self-Doubt Prevents Man From Failing at Lifelong Dream
Posted in Making Headlines

It’s Official: NJ Governor Chris Christie is a Big, Fat Liar

FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! New Jersey Replaces Groundhog Day with Chris Christie Day Bridge-gate? Mayor Cokeford? Fuggedaboutit, eh? Chris Christie Kills Spider, Triggers Collapse of… New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Makes Huge Announcement

WTF?! Click now to find out more! It’s Official: NJ Governor Chris Christie is a Big, Fat Liar
Posted in Making Headlines

Excessive Smog Causes 18 Junk Pile Up on Yangtze River

Chinese boat operators and passengers walk to safety across the polluted Yangtze River. . FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Policy of the New York Lawmakers Regarding the… Passengers To Clean Airline Cabins, Toilets United Airlines Brings…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Excessive Smog Causes 18 Junk Pile Up on Yangtze River
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Sonic Booms from Kim Kardashian Twerking Destroy Yeezus Tour Equipment

Deafening noise also scares the BeJesus out of the audience. More on this story after Kanye pitches another fit. FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Yeezus Punishes Kanye West for Taking His Own Name in Vain Daily…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sonic Booms from Kim Kardashian Twerking Destroy Yeezus Tour Equipment
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New Trial Medication Causes Positive Thinking in Rats

FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! The Superpower that Disempowers: Is it Time for a… Blue M&Ms Set for Medical Trials FDA Adds “Homicidal Rampage” Warning to Otherwise… Historic compromise – Snowden and Obama both to stand…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Trial Medication Causes Positive Thinking in Rats
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Palin Re-appears During Tornado Season, Coincidence? I Think Not

FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! Palin Insists on Keeping Media Wounds Open, Media… Obama Assistant Caught E-mailing Palin as 2012… Sarah Palin wants to save Christmas. You can help by… Paliens Infiltrate Sarah Palin Events to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Palin Re-appears During Tornado Season, Coincidence? I Think Not