Manchester United boss Louis van Gaal is nothing if not a pragmatist. Bristling at criticism of his side’s lack of attacking flair of late, the Dutchman has insisted that his team is still a work in progress.
It is, as he has labelled it, at a moment in an ongoing process.
United’s fans, spoiled as they were during the unprecedented entertainment levels of the Sir Alex Ferguson era, are unimpressed. ‘Processes’ are not what they pay to see. Continue Reading
In historic fashion, the curse of the Billy Goat again reared its ugly head on those Lovable Losers, the Chicago Cubs.
Game four of the National League Championship Series ended with the New York Mets beating the Cubbies by the score of 8-3, sweeping the team everyone thought was destined to win the World Series because Back to the Future predicted it.
The Mets hammered Chicago Cub pitcher Jason Hammel so bad he only lasted two innings innings in the post season game, ensuring the continuation of planetary rotation and balance within the cosmos. Continue Reading
Chelsea strode to the Premier League title last season after a dominant performance for the majority of the campaign. The Blues were streets ahead of their nearest rivals and Jose Mourinho’s men had high hopes prior to the start of the 2015-16 season.
However, they have failed to inspire confidence and Chelsea are looking more like relegation candidates than defending champions. Despite their poor form and performances, Mourinho has tried to put the blame on luck and refereeing decisions.
For the past few years, the Portuguese has claimed in the press that there is a conspiracy against his side. While he very rarely accepts that they were simply outplayed by the opposition, Mourinho tends to give credit to their conquerors. After the recent 3-1 home defeat by Southampton, the Chelsea boss was once again discussing a lack of refereeing decisions to his men and placed the blame on referee Robert Madley (see video below). The Portuguese believes that Madley is not the only official to have a campaign against his side and insists that the Premier League’s top referees all enjoy watching the Blues lose.
Ultimately, there isn’t a conspiracy against Mourinho’s men. Yes, Chelsea have been unlucky with huge calls at the start of the campaign but they haven’t been the primary reason for their poor form. The Blues have simply not been good enough and their top players are struggling to inspire confidence.
Chelsea must focus on improving their individual performances if they are to finally show that no real conspiracy exists against the defending champions. While there is some logic in Mourinho’s comments, he is foolish to suggest that refereeing decisions are the sole reason for their poor run of form.
The Portuguese must ensure that the performances improve in the next few weeks or he faces losing his job if the ruthless Roman Abramovich decides that Mourinho’s time is up. With 30 matches remaining, there’s plenty of time for the Blues to raise their game and they could well compete for trophies.
Self-styled, very much self-stylish, and scandalously glossy-cape-porting Caliph Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi has made thinking about football, dreaming about football, or otherwise being remotely aware of the historical existence of football, an unforgivable and inexcusable hate crime against The Greater Good.
Back of the Old Onion Swag
And on a completely unrelated note to the latter tyrannical and highly bureaucratic measure, the UK Government have passed a new benevolently-Tory-paternalistic motion. Continue Reading
Foxborough, Massachusetts – Only hours after the NFL suspended two-time MVP quarterback, Tom Brady, for the first four games of the 2015 season, New England Patriots owner, Robert Kraft and head coach, Bill Belichick, announced the signing of the player taking Brady’s place for the first month of the season. Continue Reading
Chicago, Illinois – As the 2015 NFL draft is set to begin tonight at 8pm (est), the scientific community added to the excitement with a groundbreaking announcement last night that the brains of current and former NFL players, Michael Vick and Terrell Owens, are donating their bodies for scientific research. The Brain Injury Association of America, based in Vienna, Virginia released the news during a charity event held annually as part of pre-draft traditions.
“This is a historic day for the National Football League and the Brain Injury Association!” The Association’s CEO, Susan H. Connors said. “Today, we have the brains of our players making the generous decision to donate their host bodies to science for the purpose of expanding our knowledge of how these erratic, yet affluent creatures work,” Connors added, while gently patting the cerebral hemispheres of Michael Vick’s cerebrum just after it removed itself from Michael Vick’s cranium.
According to the Association, the brains communicated their generous request to scientists through an electroencephalography (EEG) machine, a device that picks up brain activity via electrical pulses transmitted by means of magnetic head gear.
“Simply astounding!” Said Electroencephalogist, Heinrich T. Heimichschlopper, while showing charts of the communication to the 300 combined players, coaches and sponsors in attendance Wednesday night. “The brains didn’t offer a reason for making their contribution, but said these bodies could go to better use than is being made in their current states,” Heimichschlopper added.
The 80th annual meeting of National Football League franchises selecting newly eligible football players will be held at the Auditorium Theatre on the campus of Roosevelt University and televised nationwide.
Los Angeles, California – Hundreds of skiers, snowboarders and snow tubers celebrated the grand opening of Mount Thang, located in the eastern side of the city this past weekend.
In addition to celebrating Los Angeles’ first snow sighting since a light dusting fell in Malibu back in 2007, all attending guests had the opportunity to chat with celebrities, including the mountain’s popular owner, O’Shea Jackson, Sr., better known by his stage name, Ice Cube. Continue Reading
Boise, ID—Lifeguard Brian McKearney broke a YMCA lifeguarding record today.
“I’m on top of the world,” he said while being carried away to the employee’s lounge on the shoulders of his fellow aquatic guardians. McKearney could be heard yelling over the explosion of bursting Champaign corks, “Hasselhoff ain’t got nothing on me.” Continue Reading